by Rosie Bason, Byron Bay
My search for something more to life first started when I was about 20 years old and living in the Caribbean. I started going to a guided meditation group, then I decided to learn Reiki but still continued to smoke and drink and eat foods that were not good for me.
I then studied for a diploma in Herbal medicine, learnt Kinesiology and several other modalities. I still continued to abuse my body; I would take drugs, smoke, eat junk food and not sleep properly… even though I had studied about the body and how it works.
I then tried Buddhism: I would sit for half or sometimes an hour every day looking at a box on the wall with a special script in it and I would chant away, hoping that it would bring me enlightenment and make for a happier life. I got to the honesty that I did not like my life, but I did not know how to change it, other than read about Buddhism. At the same time I also read many well-known self-help and New Age books. I did all these hoping things would change, but without looking at me and taking responsibility… so I continued with my loveless lifestyle. I was not enjoying life and I was still searching for more to life.
It was not until I moved to Byron Bay and was introduced to Universal Medicine that it all changed. I remember having a session with an Esoteric Practitioner and getting really upset because I realised that everything that I had grown up thinking was true was actually so very far from truth. I felt that I had really gotten lost in all the ideals and beliefs that I had learnt about. I thought that I had to keep looking on the outside to find the happiness and to find joy – I had not realised that it started from within. I felt sad that no-one and no book or course had ever made it that simple for me. I felt angry that I had allowed myself to be fooled and that I had invested so much time and energy into all of these modalities that never taught me how to discern energy and how to truly connect to me.
For me the learning has never stopped since; I have become more aware of energy and I can feel it in my body. I can feel it when I choose to be connected to me, and when I am not. I can feel it in my body if I choose to eat something that is not good for me (I get bloated, or cramps, or worse, diarrhoea), I can feel it if I overwork, if I stay up too late, and I can feel it if I am doing something for another that really is at the expense of myself. I feel this as being tired, or my legs ache, or if I take a minute to lie still I can feel how fast and racy my whole body feels.
We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel. There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.
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