Brought Back to Life

2004 was one of my most disastrous years. My marriage had broken down. I had no real job. Financially I was totally dependent on my husband. Emotionally I was unstable and did not feel either like a woman or a good mother. On top of this, a friend of mine died at the age of 30 after ‘a simple operation’ to her knee and left behind a husband and two little kids.

I did try to fix all the things on the outside by doing sports and having affairs to fill my lack of self-love, trying to confirm that I was ‘functioning’ as a woman. I started to smoke cigarettes (and the occasional joint). I was involved in as much emotional drama as I could create. And also I looked at some spiritual pursuits, healers and NLP. This made me feel ‘alive’.

I threw myself into caring for my friend’s two children and their alcohol-dependent father. This made me feel useful and gave me recognition and the feeling I was doing something good.

In 2004 I also had my first healing session with an esoteric practitioner, a student from Universal Medicine, who came from Australia to Germany. For the first time in my life I felt ME. I felt the deep sadness which I carry with me and the release in that session. I felt like coming home. No imposing and no demands – just simply myself. What a beautiful experience.

I continued with the sessions which helped me enormously to live my daily life in a more respectful manner towards myself and also to others. Life got more ordered and less extreme in the sense of stress and emotional dramas.

In 2005 I went for the first time to a Universal Medicine course and I met Serge Benhayon. Who is that man I thought? For a long time I had a fear that I would be hurt again so I was very discerning. But I was pulled by the truth of what Serge presented (and still presents) which confirms what I do feel inside of me but never dared to express.

Since then I have become a student of Universal Medicine and a student of my soul. My life has changed slowly. My husband and I started to live together again. We had a more loving approach to each other and became open to what our relationship was about – that it is not always about love, but about needs which have to be met: he was the knight who protects me from the outside world and I was the home he needs to come back to. Today I know that how we live together is still not as loving as it could be but a lot of things have changed and we both know that until the end of this life we will not choose to live like that (lacking of love) again. We gave our relationship a chance and discovered that while it was not functioning on a level as husband and wife, we are now living together as friends and are learning to support each other with new and more loving foundations.

Regarding the caring of the two kids and their father – I recognised that after two years I was exhausted. There was a need for me to help, but I never asked if that help was wanted! I also saw how alcohol brings down families, including my own family.

The more self-loving I got, the less need there was to fill myself with affairs and cigarettes and I stopped both habits. I became aware of how food influences my body and my mood. I stopped eating gluten and dairy three years after attending that first healing course, and nobody imposes on me what to do. I keep to a certain sleep rhythm which helps me to be more vital and present during the day.

Today I feel deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine. I have got a job in an office and also have started to work as an esoteric practitioner myself.

Is my life perfect? No. But it is more true and I am more ME. I still have a lot to resolve. But now I can and do feel joy. So all in all, through attending the courses and healing sessions and through my own daily choices, I have been brought back to life, and no longer keep myself hidden.

By Sonja, Germany

277 thoughts on “Brought Back to Life

  1. Sometimes the most difficult situations are those which take us directly to the truth we are living, clearly revealing our part in them.

  2. There is much to be said for being true to ourselves, not allowing the pictures of life we hold to cloud what is true. When we let go of expectations we start to live in the reality of the moment.

    1. Definitely Sally because when our pictures of how life should look clouds our view of life it can get very messy indeed.

  3. “Is my life perfect? No. But it is more true and I am more ME” – your joy in this is so palpable. We can live like a victim of our own life, but knowing that there is a choice, and lovingly looking at the choices we have made, and making new choices with love can put us back into life to be its master.

  4. Such an inspirational testament to the fact that nothing in this world can bring us to life more than living in connection to who we are in essence, as our connection to Soul is everything. Thank you Sonja for sharing that there always is a true way waiting for us to live.

  5. You also committed to life, to your life and as a result brought all you have to offer back to us. I appreciate so much that you have shared here and how you are working on the grass roots of relationships.

  6. It’s so different what life looks like living from disconnection to our soul and essence, and then life lived in connection to the soul. Each one is our choice but until I found Serge Benhayon I had no reflection around me of a soulfully lived life, nor the support to make this a reality, not until I also began using the Universal Medicine Therapies. It’s amazing to reflect back to life before Universal Medicine and after – the changes are profound.

  7. The more we can let go of pictures of how we want it to be, the more Space we allow ourselves to be in and offer others to be in.. That’s why it is so important to discard any image, expectation, judgement as those are not the truth or reality and feel ugly in many ways. Plus keeping us distant from each other.

  8. Wow, another wonderful example of what’s possible when we allow enough to support in to help us realise how we are sabotaging our lives and relationships all around us by not being who we truly are. It’s a miracle that you were able to turn it all around.

  9. Beautiful Sonja. Life is not perfect, yet clearly there are big changes that have occurred as a result of you committing more deeply to yourself.

  10. Human life is full of imperfections of which we find ourselves often making mistakes, the irony being if we are open and honest with ourselves they can also be awesome lessons in life.

  11. “Is my life perfect? No. But it is more true and I am more ME.” I can relate to becoming more real and true in my life now, a far cry from trying to be perfect being good a false life. By the changes I have made as you have, I am learning that I am okay just as I am and if I am open and aware I will know what changes are to happen next in my unfolding.

  12. An inspiring testimony of how our life can change when we have a reflection that there is a different way to live. No drama, no stress, just simplicity and flow. And never too late to start making different choices to live more of the life we want to lead, and not one that we’ve created through emotions and dramas.

  13. I was just realising while reading that people can go through life and not really connect to the true purpose of it. At times we go to healers and massage therapists, acupuncturists and so on because we feel that we’ve slipped from something and we want to feel a bit better. But it’s not very often that we get reflected back to us why we might have slipped and what is a true way forward.

  14. It is only until we embrace sel-love into our lives that we realise our lives are full of patterns and behaviours that allow us to manage life never getting to the core of what is creating the void from our disconnection from our soul.

  15. I can certainly say that meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine presentations brought the joy of living back into my life, as before this, my life had no purpose, truth or love.

    1. It is great to read how these new choices support us to bring back the joy into our lives, ‘ But now I can and do feel joy.’

  16. Sonja what you shared here has occurred for many of us since meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – ‘Bought Back to Life’

  17. Its funny – a couple of years ago I could have said the same thing about the most disastrous year, but tough as those times were there was a reality check. I was allowing myself to feel what was really going on and that opened me up to changing – in hindsight that year was a blessing and forms part of the platform on which I stand now.

    1. Yes, we have to be prepared to see the rot that we have taken as normal and that we can not only clean out our ‘cage’ but also step out of it because the door only locks from the inside!!!

  18. The art of confirmation can be totally misused if we do not put it to something with a true intent. Not just that, we misuse it when what we confirm is that we are much less of who WE ARE.

  19. I love how when you see another living their truth it can wake you up and inspire you to come back to your truth, power and purpose. Serge Benhayon’s unwavering love and what he lives is very inspiring- it is amazing to see what happens in the lives of people around him.

  20. I think this is a huge thing for someone to say and share, “So all in all, through attending the courses and healing sessions and through my own daily choices, I have been brought back to life, and no longer keep myself hidden.” I can appreciate this and understand and when you consider how many of us are ‘hidden’ from life in our own ways it’s no wonder things look the way they do. It is amazing to see for myself and from others what transformations are occurring with the support of Universal Medicine. This is what we all want when we finally are asking for support or help, a result and also a sense of how to make those choices ongoing. The people treated by and with Universal Medicine keep bringing the true results, sustained true results at that.

  21. “Is my life perfect? No. But it is more true and I am more ME” I love this line and your sharing Sonja thank you. Being brought back to life is an experience many people have experienced since coming to Universal Medicine, when I look back on my former life I was like an empty shell looking every where for something to fill me, when I first heard Serge speak I knew I had come home, home to the Me that was always inside of me.

  22. When we have a need to save someone the questions we need to ask ourselves before charging on in is: do they want to be saved; is this in their best interests; and am I doing this for them or for me? I was one who felt great identification by being the one to save but now know that it simply came from an emptiness inside me, a gaping hole that I finally realised no one could fill but me; I am the only one that I can save.

  23. Often we help friends and family without checking if that is what they want. Awesome to be aware of the intention behind why we offer help; is it to make us feel good, seek recognition or for the love of supporting people.

  24. You can feel how trying to help and even rescue people never works and simply harms oneself and also them because in doing so we often prevent them from learning what the situation can teach them, so by interfering we can necessitate them having to go through it all again. Trying to protect ourselves and others never really works, we just convince ourselves we are making a difference.

    1. So true Doug. I have done this many times and it doesn’t support anyone. I have to be super aware that I don’t fall into this way of helping people because I used to do this a lot without discerning if my support would be loving or not. Great for me to read this blog and your comment Doug. I am still learning to observe and discern each situation as they arise and not to just jump straight into rescue mode.

  25. I am not perfect either but you are one step ahead of me, as you have so beautifully taken the time to write this blog. With all of the simple yet profound changes you have introduced to your life, you are literally changing the world, for all is felt by all, we are very powerful and we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Thank you for clocking the change and recording it, you will go down in history like so many Universal Medicine students as the proof that taking responsibility in all areas of life is the way forward, and is the consistent path back to love.

  26. There is so much to appreciate isn’t there when we look at where we have come from and how our lives have changed since choosing to live with more awareness. Thank you for sharing your story as it shows just how possible it is to play an active part in how engaged, connected and healthy we are in our own lives.

  27. A beautiful story of coming from a place of being totally lost to slowly but surely developing a sense of awareness and a beingness that needs not the doingness and distractions.

  28. Listening to what your body was telling you, and honouring that call – amazing how much you changed – what if more of us did this in life? There would be far less exhaustion and coffee and smoking! Universal Medicine has been the catalyst for change for so many of us – and the fruits are very visible when we come together for courses.

  29. “Is my life perfect? No. But it is more true and I am more ME.” If we all claimed this me-ness back, the listening to what we deep down know is true and lived it, the world would already be a very different place. Life is never about perfection but living from our hearts and that love that we feel and are.

  30. I have noticed that many relationships are based on an arrangement, a motto of ‘I scratch your back, you scratch mine’ unwritten order and it is great to see when a couple endeavours to re-imprint it and develop it into a relationship based on love.

  31. Amazing to read how the principles and teachings of Universal Medicine have helped bring you back to life… me too. Life is never perfect, but learning to be true to you, and live a steady, consistent and joyfull life leaves you able to much more easily handle whatever is in front of you, and the Universal Medicine modalities and courses provide you with the tools to live life in a much truer, authentic and steady way.

  32. We can be very creative in life with a myriad of ways to fill the gaps created by not living the fullness of who we are. Looking at life from the outside in doesn’t work – bringing what is within to the outside world makes life make sense and is a blessing for all.

  33. Thank you Sonja. It is beautiful to hear how Universal Medicine and the presentations of Serge Benhayon have supported so many people to turn their lives around by making different choices in the way they live with themselves and others.

  34. ‘Brought back to life’ what a beautiful title and it shows what happens when we take responsibility for our choices and move forward with self loving choices, more alive then ever living more who we truly are or in your words ‘I am more ME’. Thank you Sonja for opening up and share your experiences.

  35. Reading this I have to appreciate what Universal Medicine and the esoteric healing modalities bring. How your life has changed is mostly unheard of and very inspiring to read.

  36. It really is amazing to see how much change can be brought to our lives by stopping to take stock of how we are in every situation of our lives and what is there to learn from our choices made. Each movement we make offers much in the way of opening up old patterns or beliefs about ourselves and how we can make a choice in our next movement to alter this, which can fundamentally change so much more in the process. Love uncovers a lot about who we are and how we then live our lives thereafter.

  37. What so many of us do, trying to feel alive or just to feel something – “I did try to fix all the things on the outside by doing sports and having affairs to fill my lack of self-love, trying to confirm that I was ‘functioning’ as a woman.” but of course when it’s not love or connection, it’s more like a rollercoaster ride, dipping and weaving always trying to find another avenue to fulfill the emptiness.

  38. What’s funny is that when we are living the drama ridden life, fleeting from one thing to the other, multi-tasking, doing it all etc. we believe that is LIVING that is what life is about. We make it okay by saying, ‘that’s life for you’ or ‘you just need to put up with it’. But there is nothing ‘okay’ about keeping our divine essence that knows how to truly live, hidden away.

  39. The thing that sticks out to me in this is how you went from totally annihilating yourself as a woman to reconnecting to your own truth and bringing yourself back to this- very powerful sharing.

  40. Beautiful Sonja, as life is never about perfection, life is about expressing ourselves in full. It is about being true, not perfect.

  41. It is very inspirational to read your awesome blog Sonja because you are so honest about your life and all your choices. For me honesty is a key to start such a change because honesty help to see how we really live our life.

  42. Sonya, I love that you have found your way back to truth and were open to seeing how your life was not working, and decided to stick it out with your husband. Such an inspiration for so many, thank-you.

  43. This brings a great question to the fore: would I prefer a ‘perfect’ life or a true one? For me the answer is definitely a true one, so it’s interesting to feel that I still try to be perfect – an unwinnable game, for perfection is an illusion based on pictures we have created of how we think life should be. They are not real so therefore perfection cannot be real. A true life is a real life, no pictures driving us and no goals to achieve. In a true life we are free to be ourselves.

  44. Hi Sonya reading about your life previous to Universal Medicine reminded me of the life of high drama I used to live and think was normal. Your sharing is a great testimony to how we can turn our lives around. It just takes for us to connect back to ourselves and make more self loving choices that support us to be more of who we truly are. It is that simple and this changes everything.

    1. We can turn our lives around, connecting back to ourselves and making more self loving choices support us in this, ‘The more self-loving I got, the less need there was to fill myself with affairs and cigarettes and I stopped both habits.’

  45. I love hearing stories from all around the world of people turning their life around. It is amazing to feel how powerful we all are and the responsibility we hold in how we choose to live. Serge Benhayon runs Universal Medicine in a way that allows people to come to things in their own time, there are no rules, just love.

  46. “But it is more true and I am more ME.” I cannot say how much the Universal Medicine modalities supported me to live a life with more love and truth. It has taken me a long time and many many healing sessions, courses, and workshops to discover the real me that has been under there all a long.

  47. Until about 5 years ago reflecting on my life just wasn’t a done thing, but doing such an exercise can bring a massive change to our lives. You get to see how over time, over the day, month, year, how life has changed and where it repeats, where it improves and where it still needs some work and/or our greater attention. Living as if we experience life and never return felt very limiting but learning through Universal Medicine the fact that we live in endless cycles and everything comes back around has been life changing.

  48. Thank you for sharing how you have been supported to love yourself more and how this has literally brought you back to life. Your commitment to yourself and working through things with your husband is inspiring and shows that it is not about perfection but consistency and being open to Love.

    1. It does feel like that doesn’t it – coming back to life from being numb to what we were doing and why we were doing it. It is not about getting it all right now but about being open to learning and evolving.

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