Shattered by Grief

by Elizabeth McCann, United Kingdom

When I first came to Universal Medicine I was harbouring a very deep sadness, hurt, pain and bitterness. This was a result of the brutal murder of my brother.

I dealt with this by throwing myself deeper into my work as a radiographer at a London Hospital, winding up my brother’s estate, and by working with the police in South America who were dealing with my brother’s case. In other words, I kept myself very busy in order to numb the pain I was feeling.

On the outside it looked as if I was coping ok, but on the inside the well of sadness was immense, and very slowly I started to withdraw from life in order to protect myself from being hurt again.

Later, I was introduced to Universal Medicine where I had some sessions and attended a few of the workshops. Then in 2010 I had a one-to-one session with Serge Benhayon, and this proved to be a life-changing experience for me. I felt, for the first time since my brother’s passing, that here was someone who was willing to truly listen without needing me to be a certain way, and because of this I was able to explore in depth what was happening for me.

When I spoke about my feelings with Serge I started to see that there was a possible bigger picture of what happens when a murder is committed. I felt the truth of this in my body, and left the session feeling much lighter… as if a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I also knew that if I wanted to change how my life was, then it would have to come from within me… the choice was mine.

Since my session with Serge, I have attended many of the Universal Medicine presentations here in the UK, and have had sessions with many of the Universal Medicine practitioners. I have moved on from the shock and the effects of my brother’s murder, and I am integrating more with people and life and learning to trust others and myself again.

I have chosen to make some lifestyle changes, such as going to bed early and getting up early. I am becoming aware of what my body feels to eat, and I am more gentle with myself, others, and with everything I touch.

By being met by Serge, his family and the Universal Medicine practitioners, I have been inspired and turned my life around at the age of 65; and for the greater part, I am now enjoying my senior years. A big thank you to Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine team and practitioners.

501 thoughts on “Shattered by Grief

  1. Being met by someone who has no expectations of you is therapy at it’s best. To give you the space to feel what you’re feeling without judgement or pressure to fix yourself is the most supportive thing you could have been offered. And what a healing that clearly was.

  2. Serge Benhayon has the ability to put life into context so that no matter what we have experienced there is an explanation and something to look deeper into. With understanding comes healing. It’s very beautiful that you have been able to understand your brother’s death on a deeper level and have healed from the trauma.

  3. Serge Benhayon offers us all deep support with no judgment, and his ability to express holding us in the deepest love and at the same time allowing us the understanding as to why some things happen as they do, is not only heart warming, it gives us permission to let go of the grief that we hold.

  4. It is life changing and empowering when we realise and understand that life does not happen to us, it is us that chooses how we move though life. The quality in which we live our lives is a reflection of the quality of connection we hold for ourselves to the love we are within.

  5. This is truly inspiring – what we can offer when we are able to remove our needs and just be ourselves in meeting another. How empowering it is to be able to feel and know for ourselves that we have a choice and what choices to make in order to truly support and heal ourselves. Thank you, Elizabeth.

  6. When we come to the realisation that everything happens in our lives to support us because of that which we chose to align to it changes everything. We cannot blame anyone or anything outside of ourselves but take responsibility from within… the ball in every moment is always in our court.

  7. You are a living example of how much can be healed, no matter your age, if you are willing to let go of sadness, hurt, pain and bitterness. So many of us are deep in emotions and reactions and live surviving and trying to get by in life instead of actually living. The esoteric healing modalities from Universal Medicine offer our physical and emotional bodies exactly what they need to let go.

  8. Scratch the surface of alot of people’s lives and you will see that they are struggling with all types of emotions that are overwhelming them. Emotions which also cannot but shadow and influence all the other parts of their lives equally.

  9. I understand that it can be hard to look beyond a single event or incident but I think we need to do that to truly get to the bottom of why things are the way they are. Otherwise we will be stuck with the seeming reality of something without knowing the cause of why it happened.

  10. Through testimonials such as these I am amazed at what people have experienced in their lives and come out the other end not only healed but with no scars or effects other than a knowing and a memory of the events having happened.

  11. To me this is so important and something I always observe and learn from Serge Benhayon ‘someone who was willing to truly listen without needing me to be a certain way’ that is he just is and allows the other person to just be with no need and no expectations. Being held in a space like this is deeply healing.

  12. Bringing understanding, a wider and deeper perspective to things certainly helps us to rise up above the event. And when we rise up, we start to feel ourselves, we expand, we come into relationship again – beautiful to read your blog Elizabeth and read about your experience of this.

  13. To be held in absolute lovingness for exactly who we are is a truly beautiful way to heal what it is we might be holding onto for all sorts of reasons around protecting ourselves.

  14. Just reading the word ‘murder’ is enough to incite trauma by the pure activity of that word. How can we, a race of beings act in that way towards another? This shows how far removed we are from the fact that we are all connected, crave that deep connection and are all part of the same energetic pool.

  15. This is just amazing Elizabeth, so experience death in the family is one thing, but to experience a violent death of someone close is shattering and to hear how through the support of being heard and met with all you had experienced and no judgement allowed you to rebuild your life and come back into life, learning to love and trust people is huge. No matter what there is always a way back to love and you are living proof here. Thank your for sharing your story with us all.

  16. There was a murder of a young woman close to my work place recently and when I was considering what her family may have been going through I just couldn’t imagine it. And I couldn’t imagine life would ever be the same. The fact that you have moved on from the trauma of your brothers murder and live the quality of life that you do now speaks volumes of being met, being truly listen to and being held with respect, understanding and love.

  17. The ripple effect on what happens to one or a few of us is greater then I see currently the world is aware of. Even just reading this article the word murder is a traumatic experience in a way, you know someone or some people have suffered greatly and for me this is disturbing. I wouldn’t want to see this word or this action become a ‘normal’ part of life and in this way and as the article presents, “I also knew that if I wanted to change how my life was, then it would have to come from within me… the choice was mine.” So the choice is mine and the part I can dedicate to making a change that in turn will support us all is me, the quality of how I am.

  18. A murder is felt as the ultimate shock that deeply disturbs and can unhinge us; when we are truly met, things start to change and we are more open to seeing the bigger picture.

  19. Amazing to feel how taking responsibility for life can enrich our life beyond anything we could possibly have imagined! A very beautiful sharing here, Elizabeth – easy to feel your appreciation of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and also appreciation of yourself for your realizations and embracing of your true path ahead.

  20. It’s understandable why you would have shut people out after such an experience, It’s inspiring to hear that you’ve welcomed the concept of trusting others again to support you to heal those huge hurts as opposed to allowing them to consume you whole for the rest of your life.

  21. It is so amazing the actual difference it makes when we see and understand the bigger picture. When we do this so much angst falls away.

    1. Yes Elizabeth, this is with any situation, I know for myself when I consider the bigger picture so much tension and worry starts to slip away and a lightness returns to my body and I can see so much more clearer.

    2. I agree Elizabeth, seeing and feeling the bigger picture of all events in life brings clarity and understanding as to why things happen, which supports us to take the necessary steps to heal the root cause of our experiences, if that is what is called for.

      1. I agree Elizabeth’s, the bigger picture, connecting to our multidimensionality and universality, put things and life in a completely different perspective. When it is about all of us and our place in the universe some things become clear and simple.

  22. I can’t pretend to know what it is like to lose someone so close in such a way but I do understand the need to retreat away from life when the hurt just becomes too much to bear, and how to come back and away from this withdrawal is a monumental turn around as it requires a person to shift their whole perspective on their relationship both with themselves and the world. This kind of a journey is incredible when done so with the support of Universal Medicine in all of its many ways because there is in this organisation a deep well of love and care and support available for everyone – showing that from every situation we can arise up and out back into the world again when we work together.

  23. To have an opportunity to let go of immense pain is an enormous gift. We don’t realise how heavy it feels to carry grief around until it is lifted from our shoulders. I am so pleased you have experienced that and shared it with us Elizabeth.

  24. Being with someone who is truly willing to listen to what we’re feeling without any need for us to be a certain way or imposition of how they think we ‘should’ be, gives us the space to feel, be met and heard and held in love that offers us the opportunity to get to greater clarity within ourselves, which can be deeply healing.

  25. Lovely sharing Elizabeth, thank you. I can feel how bringing a true depth of understanding to a situation is so very healing.

  26. When you have the freedom to choose the quality within your body, you have true freedom. This is not something to be squandered or unappreciated, this is something quite magical.

  27. WOW – this sharing is revelation that anything can be healed if you are willing to go there, bring an understanding and healing the hurts that can be carried for centuries. What a testimony for you Elizabeth to heal this and for Serge Benhayon to present this life-changing experience.

  28. There is a depth of understanding to every happening and experience in life and there is a deep appreciation I feel for those who are willing to explore the truth behind these happenings. As it is those who do so that make it more available to others to begin to understand not only their lives, but also the lives of others. A true tender step towards the brotherhood we are ment to live in.

  29. Amazing turn around Elizabeth, thank you for sharing your story. A testimony to the power of will: when we want to change the way we are living and to heal, we can recover from the greatest pain, and is never too late.

  30. It’s truly amazing the deep healing that can come from “someone who was willing to truly listen without needing me to be a certain way, and because of this I was able to explore in depth what was happening for me.” Love has no expectations or requirements, it makes no judgements and allows people to simply be, also knowing who they are in essence and that we are actually not our problems. It’s a profound healing you have experienced Elizabeth, but not just in the recovery from your loss but also in the way you now live.

  31. The beautiful holding and true love offered by Serge Benhayon bringing understanding and truth to your body and allowing the unrest held to be felt and released . What an amazing healing and place of love to be offered to you and the opportunity to change your life.

  32. Letting go of deeply held trauma in the body is such a gift not only to ourselves but to all of humanity. Recently I became aware that I do not fully accept and appreciate the enormous impact making this choice has in the world.

  33. Isn’t that the way we are told to deal with things, keep busy or ‘get back on the horse’ is another one. There are many things that are genuinely there to feel and if we don’t feel them to the point it’s needed then we end up carrying them along with us. What this article presents is the way to release those feeling or to ‘take them off your shoulders’. I remember dealing with some serious incidents in my life and talking about them too long didn’t support me to actually truly process them, the feeling part was needed and then that allow me the understanding. All this was supported by Universal Medicine based practitioners and it was the only thing currently that gave me any sense of a true settlement with these incidents.

  34. When you are being held by true love, accepting you and allowing you to be, as with Serge, the doors of the heart can open and allow the held grief to come up, be experienced and then healed.

  35. “I also knew that if I wanted to change how my life was, then it would have to come from within me… the choice was mine.” This is when true healing occurs, when we are clear enough to see our choices and the responsibility we have to step back in and take the reins – making the choice of how we are going to be no matter what the world presents to us.

  36. “Shattered by grief”, these words and the feeling of them are lived by many, constantly affecting daily life, relationships and how we ourselves choose to hold ourselves in our lives. This article, in its simplicity opens up to the world that the horrors and grief we have experienced don’t have to be the basis of how we live, with understanding and clarity such emotions loose their grip on us.

  37. Its beautiful that when you are given a loving space, you can express what has been buried, come to your own understanding of an emotional issue and realise what is needed to heal.

  38. It is amazing how powerful healing it can be when we are truly met by another and held in love, for it allows space for us to come to a deeper understanding of life and the bigger picture we play in the constellations of the universe.

  39. “I kept myself very busy in order to numb the pain I was feeling.” This is a very common behaviour that we already learn when we are little:if you don’t like something or something hurts or the like, distract yourself. But as you show it is not taking the matter away it simply makes us not so aware of it anymore.

  40. This is not only a great testimony to Serge Benhayon but is also a great testimony to you Elizabeth and your ability to work through and get over the enormous hurt and pain of losing a loved one in this way. The power of love if we are able to let it in and accept it in full is such an amazing healing. The senior years of our life are so valuable as it is of utter most importance that we drop our hurt and pain and learn to be all that we are so we do not carry it over to our next life.

    1. Thank you Kathleen for taking the time to comment on my blog. I agree wholeheartedly with what you share about the importance of our senior years as being a time to review our life so that we become aware of, understand and discard any lingering issues we are still carrying, so as to pass over clearer which will allow us to come back clearer in our next life.

  41. Such an interesting set of circumstances that lead you to the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. Its profound when I hear people that are your age being open to changing the way they live, I always had this idea that older people got more stuck in their way as they aged. Thank you for sharing how much you have let go of, every time I hear what someone has moved through challenges and life style choices, I am touched that they have shared so openly with us all, a true blessing.

  42. Wow it must have been amazing to let go of that! There is nothing more painful than refusing to feel the pain and by feeling it, we actually have an opportunity to heal it.

  43. Beautiful to read your experience of true understanding of life and how it all comes together.

  44. Wow this is an amazing story – a miracle in fact. That you can live for many years with a pain that is so big that it consumes your life and then to be met by someone who offers love and complete understanding you are able to let that go.

  45. An amazing transformation highlighting how it is through listening to and honoring what we feel in our bodies that we come to know the truth that resides within, and are then able to let go of what is not true so we can freely live more and more the truth of who we are.

    1. And rather unique (or rare), but then each of our pathways back to God is from a different angle, a different set of circumstances. Serge reads them all, and reminds us simply and deeply that we are all from the same source, and that is always there pulsing inside of us just waiting for the wake up call.

  46. In very simple ways we can choose to be loving towards ourselves. There is nothing to prove and so much to get to know that lies deeply within us. A part of being in brotherhood is knowing this and when we re-connect to who we truly are we get a true reflection of who all our brothers also are. This is a beautiful and gentle sharing Elizabeth – thank you.

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