Life beyond Anger

By F.L, Canberra, Australia, Registered health care professional

I have been attending workshops and having sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the last four years, and I can speak from my own experience as to how they supported me, and what they are truly about. I had a very unhappy childhood, followed by a chaotic, abusive teenage time and then a disgruntled adulthood. This culminated in a very cynical perspective on most people I had met. I was totally alienated from my entire family, decided I had “had it” with them all, and had lots of issues trying to cope with my own children. I considered the option of escaping by ending it all, but never quite got around to it, and somehow knew deep within it wasn’t the answer. Besides, the way I was going, there were bound to be aspects of the afterlife that irked me as well! The prospect of being free of my woes was impossible to imagine. I often reacted badly to everyone and everything that didn’t go my way. In short, I was a mess.

I had sought help via Buddhism and found that although I loved everything the Dalai Lama had to say and it all resonated deeply, and I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes – I concluded I would eventually get there in another 1000 lives.

I attended a Universal Medicine retreat in 2008 that was life changing. I learned that I had choices and responsibilities. This was huge for me as I was used to simply blaming everything on my ‘circumstances’, or if my mother had loved me, or if this person was nicer or if that was different, etc, etc. This shift in perspective allowed me to actually see how I had contributed to the life I complained so much about – a big pill to swallow, but a very empowering one when grasped.

I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, and I was willing to give it a try. It wasn’t an easy path for me at first… it took time. I worked steadily with Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon, later Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon and Caroline Raphael. I wasn’t always as willing to let go of the ‘victim’ mentality and the comforts it brought; it had been a longstanding pattern and wasn’t going to shift straightaway. Sometimes I argued at them and felt quite disappointed that they did not indulge me or give me any sympathy. What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love. That was so crucial for my recovery as I really had not felt that before. It allowed me space to turn around the trajectory of my life. They simply reminded me that I had choices, that being a victim or reactive was a choice too. Slowly I came to see this was so – and understand just how powerful this awareness is…

At all times during this relearning phase I felt totally accepted and loved for who I was. The Universal Medicine practitioners never gave up on me, never judged me, never shunned me, never told me what to do, just simply showed me consistently that there was another way to be in life, and helped me discover that I could also choose it for me – that it really was possible.

Some four years later, against all odds, my family and I have reconciled: they noticed the change in me, and instead of being repelled by me they now seek me out. I am getting comments from them like; “…whatever it is that you are doing, keep doing it”, “You look comfortable in your own skin”, and finally, “…when are you coming to visit?”.

One has even asked, “Who is this Serge? I want to meet him as I can see how happy you are now” ­ (totally unsolicited comment). I barely mention Serge… I don’t have to, they can be inspired by how I am with their own unexpected perceptions of my stability, contentedness and calmness. Serge is not the point anyway; it’s all about ME and what I can now offer to myself and then others.

Many other areas of my life have likewise improved; my bosses now seek me out from time to time for my calm and fair approach to work situations. Incidentally I now love being at work, it’s wonderful connecting with people there, and my job has much greater meaning. My kids are pleased that I am more willing to just connect, not just shout at them, and they love meeting the Benhayons (and many others associated with Universal Medicine) when the chance presents.

Interestingly enough, the Benhayons or Universal Medicine practitioners don’t regard me more favourably due to my being much less reactive and more loving these days. They are unattached to my choices and the outcomes that follow. If they never saw me again it wouldn’t trouble them. They simply inspired me to wisely choose how I respond to life and leave me to continue this way forward in my own time, preferably sooner than later, for my own sake! This has been wonderful, there is no one to impress, there are no favourites, no goals to meet, just a chance to truly grow.

I am so glad I didn’t give up or keep branding myself a ‘hopeless’ case. I took the opportunity to consider another way of living. I am not perfect, but I now have fulfilment and true peace within me regularly. The flow-on effect in terms of my outlook on life, and therefore my personal relationships, has been incredibly rewarding.

I look forward to the rest of my life now… in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning. 

726 thoughts on “Life beyond Anger

  1. A beautiful example of the power of reflection. Words are often not needed. How we are and how we move in the world speaks volumes.

    1. The power of reflection is pure and absolute whereas our words are often verbal lies that we trot out without any regard for either each other or the truth.

  2. I agree the realisation that we have choices and responsibilities that affect our whole being and how we are with others is life changing, in opening up our awareness we allow the space to choose to not go into reaction and to observe the truth so that we are able to respond accordingly.

    1. Space is sublime, it really is. It is magical and regal and alive. One day we will come to know space to be God Himself and will cherish and honour it accordingly.

  3. The retreats, workshops and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine give us all the opportunity for a different perspective on life. To take responsibility for ourselves and that we are not passive victims of life and its ups and downs, but that we can actually master life and live it to the full.
    This way of living definitely works because I am the living proof.

    1. Well said and the best bit about this way of life is that you don’t have to live like that! It is totally your choice to align to whatever energy you want to align to, to choose to not see you can be the change you want to see in your life and the world, or to embrace that consideration and take responsibility for your thoughts, words and movements.

  4. Anger is a sore topic for me, for a while now I have been aware that there are levels of anger bottled up inside ready to explode at any minute. My knowledge tells me that I should just let go and feel it, surrender to it – however, when I let go a little bit and it starts to come up I feel uncomfortable, distressed and quickly run to my numbing agents to avoid feeling it. It is a process, I know that one day I will let go of it and connect to a deeper level of beauty and harmony than I can probably not even imagine. I very much look forward to that day.

    1. Beautiful honesty. Telling ourselves we just need to let go of it may not always be the answer and that approach may lead to burying the anger. Who knows what we’ve stored in our body that made us angry – not only this life, but possibly many lives. And quite possibly there was a reason to get angry and maybe we didn’t have to the tools to deal with what we were presented with. Being loving and understanding goes a long way when it comes to anger.

    2. It can also be quite socially unacceptable for women to experience and express anger, just as it is for men to not express sadness and vulnerability. One of the key things I’ve felt with anger is it often sits on top of sadness, dealing with the anger pretty much always leads me to the deeper sadness within.

      1. I agree, I get the sense that anger is a reaction and attempt to protect the hurts we have, it does not work from my experience but only take us further away from healing what needs to heal. IT also shows us how sensitive and vulnerable we are because we all feel everything and trying to put up a barrier of hardness and anger is not enough to stop us feeling it all.

  5. Escapism is a way of walking in life that is in the constant seek of relief to the situations we have helped to create, which have a distinct take on responsibility (as in all I care right now is to preserve myself as if we did not built a momentum that is ready to create a new situation to escape from it down the road).

  6. We all have something equally divine and beautiful to bring to this life, feeling broken is something that many feel, even if it is an under lying issue and we are not honest about it. And yet it is our sensitivity that we are trying to bury, being honest about how we feel and appreciating our sensitivity is a wise move.

  7. ‘This shift in perspective allowed me to actually see how I had contributed to the life I complained so much about – a big pill to swallow, but a very empowering one when grasped.’ This is the same for many of us, I certainly blamed other people for any misery in my life and learning that I was responsible for absolutely everything that was happening to me was and is life-changing. I have been letting go of the anger and criticism and can feel now how abusive it was.

    1. Yes I too blamed others and most of all and most damagingly I blamed God. After all God was supposed to be across everything, so how could he let people do such atrocious things to each other, or the earth cleanse herself in the way she did causing so much pain and suffering? Yet what an abdication of responsibility to blame rather than to step up to live responsibly.

  8. ‘They simply reminded me that I had choices, that being a victim or reactive was a choice too. Slowly I came to see this was so – and understand just how powerful this awareness is…’ When we realise we have a choice and we start to acknowledge we do matter, life at first seems to be upside down, but basically we cannot blame anyone else any longer, but lovingly take the path back to who we are without all the layers we have put on ourselves to protect our hurt.

  9. Truly amazing and lovely to hear how your relationships with your family have healed.

  10. In the moment we truly want difference in our life, we know exactly which choices to make, and the possibilities for it arise.

  11. When we accept that wherever we are in life is a result of all our choices. It is the start of the turn around to start heading down the right path, sure there will be deviations but it is the first major hurdle.

    1. And what a beautiful turnaround it is when we throw blame to the wayside.

  12. What a truly wonderful reflection your children and family have now … AMAZING, and that you are making it more about true connection with yourself and others, not for any reward or recognition, but just because you feel the call and importance of it. So very inspiring ✨

  13. Something that stood out for me while reading this blog is how when people view everything that happens in life as either coincidence or luck, it immediately diminishes any sense of true purpose in our lives and spawns the thoughts of hopelessness and giving up on life.

  14. When we don’t give up but come to accept and love ourselves it shows anything is possible. We just have to choose….

  15. Written almost 6 years ago, this blog holds all the more inspiration now thanks to your living way with Universal Medicine. An absolute delight to read this morning FL, thank you.

  16. F.L beautiful to read and feel how you have taken responsibility for your life and wellbeing, and how this is supporting you to now live with more harmony and a deeper connection both with yourself and with those around you.

  17. Livingness is powerful. How we live our lives in Truth is being felt in the movements of others, expressing from this movement changes our whole lives.

  18. Isn’t it amazing how a small change in how we are with ourselves changes all our relationships with others. That point where we realise that it was never them that was the problem, but our way of being with them that caused all the friction and disharmony, is a pivotal turning point and one that once experienced, you would never want to go back to the old ways.

    1. True Victoria, as I read your comment the difference between the two postures is striking – head down, close off, don’t engage, and stand straight, look out and be willing to engage, where the relationship is with the world rather than ones woes. FL’s story is a great example of moving from one way of being to the other, and fundamentally supported by all aspects of Universal Medicine to make those changes for themself.

  19. There is no such thing as a ‘hopeless case’. We can label someone as such and convince them that they are but this is the highest form of evil as it encourages people to give up on themselves and sink into the label they have been given.

    1. Agree. Take a look at the stories and before and afters within Universal Medicine and you’ll find plenty of hopeless cases that are now thriving, committed individuals.

  20. Although we call all these changes we make to our life as ‘life changing’ and in a way they are, but actually it is us returning to our natural way of being, a way of life that was already there in us but not lived in full expression.

  21. Being our own worst enemy has a way of making relationships very difficult, especially when we do not realise how and in what way we are contributing to the mess.

  22. There is so much that gets ordered in our life when we just stop blaming outside and take responsibility of our choices in our life. This in itself is great part of the change that comes later.

  23. Beautiful to read this FL, and how you have changed your life to one of love and acceptance, I too through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have found that changing my choices and the way I live, has opened my life up to many new beginnings.

  24. So many of us feel trapped with our emotional traits and personality and it is so inspiring to read that there in fact is another way to be in life, to be our true selves, and it is a choice available to every single one of us.

  25. While we stay identified with being a victim, neither healing or change are even remotely possible.

  26. It’s a huge moment when we realise that we contribute to our circumstances and it’s not all someone else’s fault! It’s like waking up from a bad dream. At first you blink and try to adjust to what you can now see. But gradually you get to feel the beauty and freedom of not living in ignorance.

  27. No one is a ‘hopeless’ case although a lot of people are fed to believe they are. What you’ve shared here shows we can always choose a new beginning and start to make different choices in our life when we are inspired by people how to live in an open and true way.

  28. ‘in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning’ And what a great beginning you have made F.L. Thank you for sharing and showing how possible it is to ‘relearn how to live’ 

  29. Great sharing F.L., indeed it is totally empowering to know that we have always a choice of what we experience in life- we either go for what is familiar and totally emotional or at the same time we can choose total divinity and love in our lives, for in truth we are vehicles of expression and the only choice we have is that which we align and become obedient to.

  30. ‘I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes’. The principles of religion need to be practical and totally applicable in today’s world, if not we just don’t do them

    1. Absolutely Suse. If they aren’t living principles, we can get lost for lifetimes in the ideas, pictures and intellectual musings being presented.

  31. We need to work harder at maintaining a so called ” victim mentality” than to just simply take responsibility of our life and choose that which is of truth that allows us to surrender to the gentle flow of life. For in truth life presents us with endless opportunities to evolve and if we say yes to this pull, the more we free ourselves from the shackles of life.

    1. That is so true Francisco. I experienced this yesterday and it is exhausting being a victim and of course it is all a made up reality without an ounce of truth.

  32. Learning that we have choices and responsibilities is very empowering, and realising that we do not need to live life from emotional needs and reactions the more we connect with ourselves builds a steadiness and true quality from within our body.

  33. A truly amazing turnaround in your life and a testimony that we have the power to change anything and everything if we so choose and have the true support to help us.

  34. From deeply hurt and closed down to open and trusting of people again. When we choose self-responsibility we are in the front seat again, no longer playing the victim…

  35. I can relate to this story of feeling a huge frustration and anger at life and not knowing where to turn a few years ago. Then I would put my head in the sand, do some retail therapy and not think about it, but nothing changed..until meeting Serge Benhayon and attending the Universal Medicine courses. Slowly through a lot of resistance, I have learnt it is possible to build a way of life sorting out the hurts and living in a rhythm of my day that I now have no need for all those emotional reactions.

  36. ” I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, ” The key to understand is that most people are not living they are existing . The ” way of living ” is living who we are by our whole-self choices now by what the world has imposed on us. Thank you for sharing.

  37. It would be lovely to have a follow up about the rest of the story in the past 5 years FL how things have changed or deepened now because the end of this blog does feel like a new beginning that can blossom and flourish. How great it is that despite giving up on others, you never gave up on yourself, or else everyone would have missed out.

    1. I agree – I’d love a follow up as life is never about a point we reach, it is always an ever-deepening.

  38. So true – there is an incredible, consistent loving flow of inspiration and reflection from all Universal Medicine Presentations and the Benhayon’s. I know for sure that it is the most divine gift that is being offered,
    and it is up to me to wisely choose what I do and how I respond with what is shared.

  39. FL, this is a gorgeous testimonial of how far you have come already in embracing life, and knowing too that this is only just the beginning. We are indeed blessed to have the support of the Benhayons, the Universal Medicine therapies and The Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom to guide us along the path of life, for in the end there is only one path, it can simply take a long time for us to get there (to that one path), as I have discovered!

  40. “What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love.” This is so powerful and just shows how much love offered in truth can shift emotional behaviours that we are deeply entrenched in.

  41. There is much you have shared here that is truly inspiring, thanks for your honesty and the reflection of the difference a choice can make.

  42. Disempowering ourselves breeds anger so when we empower ourselves and claim ourselves the anger is no longer there.

    1. Yes, a friend and I were just discussing this the other day. When we hold back our natural expression it can breed discontent, frustration and anger. It is possible to express in a way that still holds another in love so it is empowering for everyone.

  43. The victimhood and blaming can feel comfortable, but it is very VERY uncomfortable when compared to the love I have been held in and experience from Universal Medicine and Esoteric practitioners. The support I have been given to take responsibility for my hurts, my life, my situations, my reactions etc. has been monumental and now I live with so much joy that wasn’t even on my radar 10 years ago. And the affect this has, that the way I live, has on the wider world around me is magic.

  44. Its very empowering to take back responsibility for our own lives and when we are prepared to do this there are no victims, and no one to blame either…and that includes ourselves.

  45. ‘…if only my mother had loved me…’ and if only her mother had loved her…and if only her father had loved her mother. Blame is endless it seems and so when a person realises this and takes responsibility for being the change, and embracing the love they are for both themselves and others, then we are onto something that can truly make a difference in lives.

    1. So true Richard for blame is a vicious circle that keeps going round and round with no end until we break the cycle by taking responsibility for all that has and does unfold in our lives.

  46. The path of living the love that you are within is what makes all the difference.

  47. On the surface, I was always enthusiastic about life – I was always busy, always diving into new opportunities, new ideas, projects, etc. etc. However, all of it was to get that recognition, have something on my CV to show my hard work, since my introduction to UM I have come to realise that and also just how much lack of motivation for life I really have. However, what I have also come to now is that I know I have a greater purpose than ticking boxes, I know there’s more to life, and now I too look forward to the rest of my life, but truly look forward to it – not just because I have dreams and ideas about what it’s going to be like, but because I know that with every day I am getting closer to the real, raw me 🙂

  48. This is a beautiful sharing and very inspiring to read, that no matter what we have been through in life we all have an opportunity to truly heal and move forward free from old patterns and hurts.

Comments are closed.