My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

by Jane Keep, UK  

Long before I met Serge Benhayon I was the sort of person who worked in large organisations, headed up a large team, and often presented at large national and international conferences. I had a large group of friends and was, to the outside world, very ‘sociable’. I also kept in touch dutifully with my family.

However, I was grumpy around people. I was irritable if my next door neighbours wanted to ‘make friends’ (I used to think I just didn’t have time to be sociable with neighbours or members of my local community). I used to get irritated when it was that time of the week or month when I felt I ought to visit my relatives, and there were times when I just simply didn’t feel like meeting up with my friends. When I went shopping I completely ignored the people working in those shops. Also, if anyone should so much as try and start a conversation with me on a bus or train, well I was very grumpy, indeed indignant – how dare they talk with me, can’t they see I’m busy?

So there was a façade: to many I was very outwardly sociable, extrovert, and able to handle large groups of people, and present to big audiences. However, as I went about my daily life, I was actually quite introspective, introverted, and downright grumpy about having to have any human interaction. At the time I just put my grumpiness down to tiredness, and the fact that I spent so much time with people during my working days that I needed ‘time off’ from people. What I realise looking back is that my grumpiness and irritability around people was for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I was so busy all of the time I never ever gave myself time to rest properly, and I never gave myself time to reflect, or listen to myself; I would constantly over-ride my own feelings, and my relationship with myself was full of disdain, so when it came down to relationships with others I treated them with that same disdain. Secondly, I never gave myself time to do the things that I felt were important for me – whether it was booking my dental appointment or getting to the dry cleaners, as I put my needs after the needs of others. This may sound odd to think that I was putting their needs first, given I was grumpy and antisocial when I was with them, but I realised I was like that because I was raised with the belief that I had to be good, and part of that was making myself available to others, so my relationships at that time were based on duty, ‘ought to’s’ and ‘should haves’, and not on simply enjoying another’s company.

During the last eight years in which I have been consistently inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, something changed within me in regards to how I interact with the outside world. Serge presented the importance of taking care of self, and shared this in very practical ways. I also observed Serge and Universal Medicine practitioners take time to rest and to self-care, which was deeply inspiring.

I am now (a work in progress) developing a much deeper relationship with myself, getting to know myself, if you will. I have realised that in the past I simply didn’t give myself enough time in the day to rest, pause, or ponder. I also realised that I had never put my own self-care first, in part because of my beliefs in being a ‘good girl’. So, over a few years I experimented with allowing myself more time during each day for moments to rest, or ponder. This felt really supportive and increased my levels of vitality, not only to do what was needed during my day, but to engage with others too. I also experimented with self-care, starting with the little things, like booking my dental appointments and committing to them, and allowing myself the time to go to the dry cleaners, or the tailors, or the shoe repair shop; and giving myself time to do the things that supported me each week – such as food shopping. As basic as these were, I noticed a change in myself fairly quickly. These things were very important to me, and they meant that my working week ran smoothly, and that I felt much more prepared for the week. In allowing myself the time to do these simple things, over time I gradually noticed that I felt less hassled, less grumpy, and more open to talking with people in my daily life, as well as being more lighthearted with my friends and family.

From this, my life has changed tenfold as regards my relationships with the outside world… to the degree that when I am at work in a large hospital I love talking with everyone I meet, I love sharing moments with people by the water cooler, and I love connecting with people on trains and buses. My relationship with my family is different, particularly my mother – I adore seeing her, spending time with her, and no longer feel the grumpiness I used to… or that sense of obligation that I ought to see her. As for my neighbours; well, for the first time in my life I actually attended a street party (for the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations in May 2012) and sat down with all of my neighbours, which was absolutely unheard of for me – in all the years I have had neighbours I have never ever done that. My shopping trips are very different now as I like to talk with the shop assistants, engage with the people working on the cash desks, talk with the teller at the bank, and I have so much more fun when I am out and about.

What am I saying here? Before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine the social world was a drag for me, and I found it quite stressful needing to interact with anyone over and above a few of my friends or work colleagues… I would purposefully isolate myself. But now, since I have learned to deepen my relationship with myself by taking time to rest, and time to take care of me and my daily needs, I absolutely love being with people and meeting people. It makes my day. These days I couldn’t imagine a day without human interaction in the way it is for me now. I have come to this place because of the inspiration I found by meeting Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine Practitioners, and for that I am grateful. I simply love people…

719 thoughts on “My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

  1. Thank you Jane, I always enjoy reading this. “I was raised with the belief that I had to be good, and part of that was making myself available to others, so my relationships at that time were based on duty, ‘ought to’s’ and ‘should haves’, and not on simply enjoying another’s company.” I can relate to this and how often I feel I have to do something for another, rather than being with them when I choose to because I enjoy it, or simply being with me and enjoying that. The feeling of duty usually comes with a feeling of forcing ourselves – no wonder there can then be associated resentment or irritability in relationships.

  2. ‘However, as I went about my daily life, I was actually quite introspective, introverted, and downright grumpy about having to have any human interaction.’ I remember feeling like this in the past – I would get grumpy if someone I didn’t know tried to talk to me. I feel very different now and like you Jane I love people. I really enjoy engaging with people, whether I know them or not and find that these connections makes life feel joyful and purposeful.

  3. ‘I have realised that in the past I simply didn’t give myself enough time in the day to rest, pause, or ponder. I also realised that I had never put my own self-care first’. Reading this I can feel how I don’t allow myself to rest, pause and ponder and how amazing and supportive this would feel if I did.

  4. Two faces – the public one and the private one. So which one is true – perhaps neither and then perhaps you don’t even know who you truly are? We get very good at playing roles and wearing masks, and much of this is done to fit in, to play the game, to be liked to get approval etc etc. But what if we dropped the masks, what if we stopped the role playing and stopped the emotional game playing and just let ourselves be – what could we potentially be uncovering and what would it be like to be honest and open and just be ourselves. The first time I did this felt a little scary almost to do, and I felt naked and exposed when I was not playing a game and wearing a mask as I usually did. But the more we allow ourselves to be natural in our expression, the easier it becomes and the more freer we feel – and this is a blessing in itself well worth while undertaking.

  5. Interesting how we can get grumpy at others and take it out on others when in reality we are upset that we have not given ourselves the time to rest properly, to reflect, or listen to ourselves and our needs. When we do keep over-riding our feelings, and putting others ahead of ourselves instead of listening and heeding and putting ourselves as equal in importance to everyone else, it is totally understandable that we are not happy – but then really we should just stop and listen and care more deeply for ourselves rather than blaming another. How simple is that as an approach? Awesome sharing Jane – thank you!

  6. If we have a well developed outer face that is charming, professional and competent then we can perform in larger and larger crowds… but that does not mean we are being real, or that we are letting anyone in. That is a whole other aspect and when that is shut down, the other is false and meaningless.

  7. It’s easy to justify grumpiness, tiredness and all manner of current ills in ourselves because the norms such as the belief that we need to have time-out from people give us the perfect excuses to not question why we are feeling/behaving in this way. Its only since Serge Benhayon has posed questions that challenge these norms that I have been able too think and see myself beyond these norms.

  8. What you say Jane about taking the time to look after ourselves, to rest, to clean, to connect and be with ourselves absolutely supports an awesome platform to stand on and feel steady. So when we do spend time with others connecting and interacting on what ever level, there is not that part inside of us saying, ‘hey what about me’.

  9. Such an awesome blog! I am discovering I too love people. The more I love myself unconditionally, the more I’m prepared to feel the pain of seeing people not love themselves, the grumpiness goes and love beams out.

  10. The great facade. It is interesting isn’t it in how we can be in a job role that is all about people but actually on the inside feel a bit grumpy about others, or even hate others, and not want to truly connect with them. What Universal Medicine have helped me to see is first look at my relationship with myself because if there are any hurts, frustrations, anger, misery etc of course this is going to be reflected in the relationships around me and how I am with people. The more I have healed hurts etc the more open and loving I have been towards others naturally so.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s