My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

by Jane Keep, UK  

Long before I met Serge Benhayon I was the sort of person who worked in large organisations, headed up a large team, and often presented at large national and international conferences. I had a large group of friends and was, to the outside world, very ‘sociable’. I also kept in touch dutifully with my family.

However, I was grumpy around people. I was irritable if my next door neighbours wanted to ‘make friends’ (I used to think I just didn’t have time to be sociable with neighbours or members of my local community). I used to get irritated when it was that time of the week or month when I felt I ought to visit my relatives, and there were times when I just simply didn’t feel like meeting up with my friends. When I went shopping I completely ignored the people working in those shops. Also, if anyone should so much as try and start a conversation with me on a bus or train, well I was very grumpy, indeed indignant – how dare they talk with me, can’t they see I’m busy?

So there was a façade: to many I was very outwardly sociable, extrovert, and able to handle large groups of people, and present to big audiences. However, as I went about my daily life, I was actually quite introspective, introverted, and downright grumpy about having to have any human interaction. At the time I just put my grumpiness down to tiredness, and the fact that I spent so much time with people during my working days that I needed ‘time off’ from people. What I realise looking back is that my grumpiness and irritability around people was for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I was so busy all of the time I never ever gave myself time to rest properly, and I never gave myself time to reflect, or listen to myself; I would constantly over-ride my own feelings, and my relationship with myself was full of disdain, so when it came down to relationships with others I treated them with that same disdain. Secondly, I never gave myself time to do the things that I felt were important for me – whether it was booking my dental appointment or getting to the dry cleaners, as I put my needs after the needs of others. This may sound odd to think that I was putting their needs first, given I was grumpy and antisocial when I was with them, but I realised I was like that because I was raised with the belief that I had to be good, and part of that was making myself available to others, so my relationships at that time were based on duty, ‘ought to’s’ and ‘should haves’, and not on simply enjoying another’s company.

During the last eight years in which I have been consistently inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, something changed within me in regards to how I interact with the outside world. Serge presented the importance of taking care of self, and shared this in very practical ways. I also observed Serge and Universal Medicine practitioners take time to rest and to self-care, which was deeply inspiring.

I am now (a work in progress) developing a much deeper relationship with myself, getting to know myself, if you will. I have realised that in the past I simply didn’t give myself enough time in the day to rest, pause, or ponder. I also realised that I had never put my own self-care first, in part because of my beliefs in being a ‘good girl’. So, over a few years I experimented with allowing myself more time during each day for moments to rest, or ponder. This felt really supportive and increased my levels of vitality, not only to do what was needed during my day, but to engage with others too. I also experimented with self-care, starting with the little things, like booking my dental appointments and committing to them, and allowing myself the time to go to the dry cleaners, or the tailors, or the shoe repair shop; and giving myself time to do the things that supported me each week – such as food shopping. As basic as these were, I noticed a change in myself fairly quickly. These things were very important to me, and they meant that my working week ran smoothly, and that I felt much more prepared for the week. In allowing myself the time to do these simple things, over time I gradually noticed that I felt less hassled, less grumpy, and more open to talking with people in my daily life, as well as being more lighthearted with my friends and family.

From this, my life has changed tenfold as regards my relationships with the outside world… to the degree that when I am at work in a large hospital I love talking with everyone I meet, I love sharing moments with people by the water cooler, and I love connecting with people on trains and buses. My relationship with my family is different, particularly my mother – I adore seeing her, spending time with her, and no longer feel the grumpiness I used to… or that sense of obligation that I ought to see her. As for my neighbours; well, for the first time in my life I actually attended a street party (for the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations in May 2012) and sat down with all of my neighbours, which was absolutely unheard of for me – in all the years I have had neighbours I have never ever done that. My shopping trips are very different now as I like to talk with the shop assistants, engage with the people working on the cash desks, talk with the teller at the bank, and I have so much more fun when I am out and about.

What am I saying here? Before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine the social world was a drag for me, and I found it quite stressful needing to interact with anyone over and above a few of my friends or work colleagues… I would purposefully isolate myself. But now, since I have learned to deepen my relationship with myself by taking time to rest, and time to take care of me and my daily needs, I absolutely love being with people and meeting people. It makes my day. These days I couldn’t imagine a day without human interaction in the way it is for me now. I have come to this place because of the inspiration I found by meeting Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine Practitioners, and for that I am grateful. I simply love people…

615 thoughts on “My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

  1. I simply love people too Jane. I have always been like this but recently I have developed a deeper understanding and love for people, this is totally inspired by Serge Benhayon and people at Universal Medicine. I am more able to appreciate people for who they are and learning to meet everyone as an equal.

  2. From the presentation of Serge Benhayon I realise that the relationship that I have with myself is reflected in the relationships I have with everyone I meet. The more I enjoy and appreciate who I am, the more I enjoy and appreciate being with others.

  3. My relationship with myself needs a lot of work, I love people but lately I have felt so overwhelmed by what is on my plate, its like I don’t see how it is possible to create space and in the struggle to simply self care, my natural love of people is cut short, rushed, unfocused for I am always feeling behind the eight ball so to speak. Great to read about a woman that has managed to turn things around, it makes me feel like it is possible.

    1. I love your honesty Sarah Karam. I too am reviewing my relationship with myself having realised that I have much to build within myself so that I no longer turn to the temporal world for any confirmation – I simply am learning to confirm myself. I love how open you are to learning. I absolutely love people – none the less I need to love myself to the bone come what may.

      1. I think you nail it with your last line Jane – you absolutely love people, as I do and that was never the problem. The “issue” if you like, is being able to love myself with the same enthusiasm as I do others. The practical way I am working on this, is my appreciation diary. At first I found it very challenging, I was happy to write things in appreciation notes but I was also trying to sneak in things I wanted to work on too, then I realised, just go for it, just say all the things you love about yourself, everyday until you bust the self worth bubble, realise that you’re amazing. This is when I hopefully will be able to truly enjoy others.

  4. Jane this is so gorgeous to read, what an absolute transformation you have made in your life in all aspects. I too used to get grumpy with people, when I lived in London I used to get really annoyed and scowl if someone looked at me for a long time and I felt like I did not have the time or energy to talk to people I didn’t know, I couldn’t see what was in it for me. This has completely changed now and I now really enjoy engaging with people, I love starting up conversations in the park, on the bus, in shops, so I can very much relate to what you have written here; ‘I have so much more fun when I am out and about.’

    1. I agree Rebecca – and that we are grumpy of our own making – as we have not honoured and cherished ourselves, we have not taken super care of ourselves, or expressed what we are feeling, so in the first instance we are grumpy with ourselves and not with those around. I know when I dont give myself enough space (e.g. I am rushing) I feel squashed and grumpy with myself and with the world around me – when I give myself enough space for whatever is needed Im naturally loving me, and others around me.

  5. Self care has so many knock on effects, imagine how much more harmonious all relationships could be if everyone was taught to self care in their family, in education, and in workplaces? A world full of self-loved people would be a very loving world.

  6. When I stopped and really felt how duty felt in my body it was awful. So dishonouring of everyone and triggering a chain reaction of resentment and self-disregard, not to mention judgement of others and antisocial thoughts.

  7. I love how you say you love people, and how beautiful that the way you are living allows you to enjoy them all of the time now instead of only in chosen moments.

  8. I loved your story Jane, what a great turnaround from being a grump to now actually loving people. Your story fills me with joy, as I realise, I too love people. Just beautiful and inspiring thank you.

  9. I love people as well, I have also had to learn to not get distracted by them and bring that sense of wonder and appreciation to my relationship with myself.

  10. There is more than what the eye meets. There is what it appears to be in the surface and there is a deeper reality. They are not always the same. Yesterday, I rode in a bus. There were a father and a son who was around three years old. As I could gather, they were going to have lunch at grandma’s and the boy has requested to go by bus instead of taking the car. The small boy was really curious about the world and asked a lot of questions. The father replied to all of them using the words ‘honey’, ‘dear’ and similar ones. Looking from the outside, we cannot fault the father. He did what the kid wanted, answer every question with the ‘right’ tone, provided the right answer, used ‘lovely’ words to refer to his son. Totally dedicated father. Yet, when I felt deeper, I can feel he was totally hating it. The only thing that he wanted was for his son to stop asking questions and arriving to his final destination. So, we can pretend to be something we are not and even make ourselves believers of it, but this does not necessarily make it true.

    1. Indeed Eduardo, from the outside it can look nice but as we all know, being nice is not it but just a politeness that is void of that deep love we naturally have for one another.

  11. There’s something about being raised with the ideal of being good that is completely not-good and actually pretty self-destructive: that idea of loyalty to others and to family, to being the dependable, reliable one for others and ‘being there’ no matter what. When we realise our only loyalty is to love, and not to another’s needs, it totally changes how we relate to ourselves and to others. I know that when I’m feeling grumpy or resentful of others it’s because I haven’t listened to myself and I’m not making choices to do what I need to do, first, and have instead chosen to do what I think I ‘ought’ or ‘should’ do – which is the ‘good’ thing, not the true thing that I actually feel to do. I end up feeling resentful for not being heard and not having the space to do what I need to do – when it’s me that’s totally set it up this way.

  12. I simply love the teaching that Serge Benhayon has brought through about everything being one life, meaning that you cannot be one way with your work colleagues and dismissive of others in your life because as the teaching goes, the way you are at the lowest point is actually what you are bringing to everyone. Even though we may feel that we are being outgoing and sociable in one area of our life, the quality that comes from us with will be how we are in our lowest interactions with people.

    1. Great point Doug – in that however we are with ourselves is the quality and way we will be with all others. If we think we can be amazing with some and not with others we are not being honest with ourselves. Nowadays I know if I am grumpy with someone, I am first grumpy with myself and it is a wake up for me to look at what is going on in my life/the way Im living. When I am feeling super amazingly ‘on fire’ everyone feels the same to me, whether they are friends, colleagues, people on the bus or in the post office – they all feel like family.

  13. I love people too but just sometimes I struggle dealing with the energies we as human beings bring in between the connection we can live together. But more and more I can feel completely detached from that what comes my way and stay in my joy no matter what. This is very beautiful and this way I can mean so much more for people as I embrace them if they behave less then who they truly are.

  14. I remember dividing up life, this time for this and another time for that and it was one life in parts. More and more I am seeing that one life is one life and everything is a part of that, no matter what I may think. So the conversation with one person about one thing is alive in every part of my life. It may not look like it is directly but I have seen that I can’t close off anything, it’s all with me all the time. From reading this article there is details on the same thing, that we only think we can have our life divided up and seperate when in actual fact it’s all plain and simply with us all the time. This is not extra pressure but actually easier, when you have things as one then there is an ease in how to be.

  15. The relationship that we have with ourself is very foundational – it sets us up for life and how we are in all our other relationships. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have really helped me to realise the importance of this and how I can deepen the quality of care and appreciation that I have for myself which then ripples out into the care and love that I hold for all others.

    1. So very true Fiona, the relationship we have with our self is the foundation and basis for everything else to them come from. I used to always want and need love and recognition from everybody else as I was not giving it to myself. Recently I have been through a very challenging period and found myself doing the same thing, wanting love from other people rather than stopping to give it to myself and reclaim the love that I am in full. Nobody else can do it for us and it is only when we choose it and live it for ourselves that we can truly and fully be love with another otherwise it just needs fulfilling and that can get messy.

  16. What I find is the more I commit to my personal relationships, the deeper my relationships become with work colleagues, and vice versa…revealing that nothing exists in isolation and every choice affects the whole.

  17. I deeply love people too and the more I deepen my connection with myself the more I also deepen it with everybody else that I meet. I used to play the waiting game, waiting for other people but now see if I do not start with opening up then why should they?! We all crave connection and so when we embrace another with the love they are most respond accordingly and open up as well. I find it’s when I go in measured, so say 80% or less open, keeping a guarded part back that the other person does not open up – it really is all or nothing, as everything can be and is felt.

  18. It is interesting to consider how much force we have use to avoid that what we love the most and is so natural to us, connecting and talking to people.

  19. I can so relate to what you share here Jane, I am a flight attendant and work on international flights and after a long flight I would get to my hotel room exhausted and shut the door to recover and escape from people. But many years later I am still in the same job and can also say I now love people – so what’s changed? I meet Serge Benhayon and through the presentations from Universal Medicine I also began to learn to self-care and see how I was actually protecting myself from people as I found it quite challenging working with hundreds of people in a work shift. I came to realise that it was the protection I was holding in my body that was exhausting me not the people themselves, so letting this go has been huge for me and now I feel completely different around people and never feel exhaustion from my work at all and in fact find the more I connect to others the more energy I seem to be given to support me with this.

  20. I am learning it is so super important to look at all the little areas of our lives where we have essentially closed the door on others and in that on ourselves. There are interesting reflections shown to me all the time at the moment with just how much I have kept others out in just how I am with them, perhaps holding a slight guard or perhaps isolating myself away by not wanting to engage with them, and then seeing how in my own life there are areas I simply have not wanted to look at such as my relationship with my body at work, whether I avoid going to a deeper level of self care, love and understanding for myself or whether I am in someway holding something against myself. The two are inseparable.

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