My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

by Jane Keep, UK  

Long before I met Serge Benhayon I was the sort of person who worked in large organisations, headed up a large team, and often presented at large national and international conferences. I had a large group of friends and was, to the outside world, very ‘sociable’. I also kept in touch dutifully with my family.

However, I was grumpy around people. I was irritable if my next door neighbours wanted to ‘make friends’ (I used to think I just didn’t have time to be sociable with neighbours or members of my local community). I used to get irritated when it was that time of the week or month when I felt I ought to visit my relatives, and there were times when I just simply didn’t feel like meeting up with my friends. When I went shopping I completely ignored the people working in those shops. Also, if anyone should so much as try and start a conversation with me on a bus or train, well I was very grumpy, indeed indignant – how dare they talk with me, can’t they see I’m busy?

So there was a façade: to many I was very outwardly sociable, extrovert, and able to handle large groups of people, and present to big audiences. However, as I went about my daily life, I was actually quite introspective, introverted, and downright grumpy about having to have any human interaction. At the time I just put my grumpiness down to tiredness, and the fact that I spent so much time with people during my working days that I needed ‘time off’ from people. What I realise looking back is that my grumpiness and irritability around people was for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I was so busy all of the time I never ever gave myself time to rest properly, and I never gave myself time to reflect, or listen to myself; I would constantly over-ride my own feelings, and my relationship with myself was full of disdain, so when it came down to relationships with others I treated them with that same disdain. Secondly, I never gave myself time to do the things that I felt were important for me – whether it was booking my dental appointment or getting to the dry cleaners, as I put my needs after the needs of others. This may sound odd to think that I was putting their needs first, given I was grumpy and antisocial when I was with them, but I realised I was like that because I was raised with the belief that I had to be good, and part of that was making myself available to others, so my relationships at that time were based on duty, ‘ought to’s’ and ‘should haves’, and not on simply enjoying another’s company.

During the last eight years in which I have been consistently inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, something changed within me in regards to how I interact with the outside world. Serge presented the importance of taking care of self, and shared this in very practical ways. I also observed Serge and Universal Medicine practitioners take time to rest and to self-care, which was deeply inspiring.

I am now (a work in progress) developing a much deeper relationship with myself, getting to know myself, if you will. I have realised that in the past I simply didn’t give myself enough time in the day to rest, pause, or ponder. I also realised that I had never put my own self-care first, in part because of my beliefs in being a ‘good girl’. So, over a few years I experimented with allowing myself more time during each day for moments to rest, or ponder. This felt really supportive and increased my levels of vitality, not only to do what was needed during my day, but to engage with others too. I also experimented with self-care, starting with the little things, like booking my dental appointments and committing to them, and allowing myself the time to go to the dry cleaners, or the tailors, or the shoe repair shop; and giving myself time to do the things that supported me each week – such as food shopping. As basic as these were, I noticed a change in myself fairly quickly. These things were very important to me, and they meant that my working week ran smoothly, and that I felt much more prepared for the week. In allowing myself the time to do these simple things, over time I gradually noticed that I felt less hassled, less grumpy, and more open to talking with people in my daily life, as well as being more lighthearted with my friends and family.

From this, my life has changed tenfold as regards my relationships with the outside world… to the degree that when I am at work in a large hospital I love talking with everyone I meet, I love sharing moments with people by the water cooler, and I love connecting with people on trains and buses. My relationship with my family is different, particularly my mother – I adore seeing her, spending time with her, and no longer feel the grumpiness I used to… or that sense of obligation that I ought to see her. As for my neighbours; well, for the first time in my life I actually attended a street party (for the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations in May 2012) and sat down with all of my neighbours, which was absolutely unheard of for me – in all the years I have had neighbours I have never ever done that. My shopping trips are very different now as I like to talk with the shop assistants, engage with the people working on the cash desks, talk with the teller at the bank, and I have so much more fun when I am out and about.

What am I saying here? Before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine the social world was a drag for me, and I found it quite stressful needing to interact with anyone over and above a few of my friends or work colleagues… I would purposefully isolate myself. But now, since I have learned to deepen my relationship with myself by taking time to rest, and time to take care of me and my daily needs, I absolutely love being with people and meeting people. It makes my day. These days I couldn’t imagine a day without human interaction in the way it is for me now. I have come to this place because of the inspiration I found by meeting Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine Practitioners, and for that I am grateful. I simply love people…

701 thoughts on “My Relationship With the World – I Simply Love People

  1. We can often be labelled as a “people’s person” or “not a people’s person”. It is assumed that a people’s person is somebody who is social, has a wide network and doesn’t mind being the heart of the party. But what if this was redifined to qualify the heart of the phrase “a people’s person”, to mean somebody who truly loves people and cares. If that was our definition for a “people’s person” my assumption is that we won’t have that many of these around…

  2. The more we begin to take care of ourselves, the more we have the capacity to care for others – it is only natural.

  3. Awesome Jane, simply loving people is the best credentials anyone can have – at the end of the day if we truly love people and our heart leads the way then the potential for real community and society evolution is huge.

  4. I found the Benhayon family also very inspiring in how they would really claim their time for themselves, because they knew they needed to go at that time to prepare for something else they have to do. It was never a feeling of they needed to go and check out, or do something like watching TV or checking out in a video game, no they really needed to care for themselves so they could be there for others later. I felt at the beginning a bit uncomfortable with that, as it exposed how I would never do that for myself and just be there for people, because I needed that to feel recognized. Now years later this has been changing, but it is great to know that without caring for ourselves we can’t care for others truly.

  5. As I read through the various blogs by students of Universal Medicine I see the same thread, that self care results in all sorts of issues dissipating naturally. Whether it’s a life long habit of chewing nails, being antisocial, not committing to work, having turbulent relationships, etc, the outcomes are much the same; these difficulties can disappear. Self care is a truly awesome foundation for a harmonious, joyful and loving life with self and all others.

  6. What a massive change from a few small different choices. I can relate to this blog in a big way. If I haven’t taken care of myself I can still fall into grumpy mode and isolate myself, but mostly I love being out and about and having conversations with everyone I come into contact with. It makes everyone’s day much richer and more joyful.

  7. Seeing people as competition, a threat, a menance or huge annoyance is pretty much standard these days. That Universal Medicine students are able to step forward and say ‘I love people’ and mean it – is a huge tribute to their choices and the presentations offered by Serge Benhayon. This way of being is completely against the worldwide trend. Thank you for sharing Jane.

    1. From my experience of myself and what’s said here, it seems beneath every grumpy exterior lies a person who deeply loves people.

  8. When we are inspired to build a loving and true relationship with ourselves and a quality of care in our day to day living the ripple effects are far reaching and our whole approach and interaction with people becomes truly loving.

  9. ‘I never ever gave myself time to rest properly, and I never gave myself time to reflect, or listen to myself’, when we do not take care of our own needs first, our own batteries become empty, and we then resent being with others. The antidote is to live true to oneself and keep life super simple.

  10. To establish a good relationship with ourselves is always the first step to establish a true, consistent relationship with others. Otherwise we are condemned to cycles of engagement and disengagement.

    1. Thanks Eduardo, for reminding me of this cycle of oscillation. Its not that we don’t connect, just that we are inconsistent about it both with ourselves and then of course with our friends, family, work.

  11. I can really relate to the description of not making time for myself so never really meeting others in full during the day. The more I self care and deepen that relationship of self love within myself, the less judgment I have of others and the more space there is to interact.

  12. It is so freeing when I let go of the grumpiness and shut off way of being and am able to freely connect with all people around me. Living in this freedom of expression feels as honoring to the essence of my being that is playful and always in to connect with one another, to connect and share the love we all are connected with and know so well.

  13. Self care is something we do not do that easily and forget about in our ‘busy’ lives. But if we are truly honest with ourselves we have to face the fact that with this attitude we purposely neglect the powerful gesture self care has to our body and in bringing us back to a more natural way of being, a natural way of being that is closer to the origin we are from.

  14. I also deeply love people and in truth I feel that we can truly be together harmoniously rather than in the separation that we currently find ourselves, but we can not do it with blame of others, we need to take steps towards self responsibility and change the dynamics from the inside out.

  15. This blog portrays clearly that living a busy life is making us grumpy and closed of from meeting people and from what is happening in the world. So when we are honest we can say that by going into the busyness of life, we actually go into a movement that does not belong to us. We may praise and champion the busy world we have created and marvel at all the achievements as a result of this busyness. But in truth we are lacking that intimate relationships with people that will bring us the fulfillment and joy we all want.

    1. yes, because in those busy moments we lack the intimacy with ourselves in the first place. I recently experienced this, I pushed through during a busy time, and ended up resenting work, and other things. It was only when I was honest, took a pause to rest my body, that I then felt refreshed and truly enjoyed being in the world, with myself and with others.

      1. Yes Jane, while we all know this science, that we only can grow and evolve when we truly connect with one another and bless each other with the intimacy we then build, there too is a drive in our society and us to neglect this science and instead go for the achievements in life instead.

  16. Actually as we engage more in the simple and practical things of life such as shopping, preparing dinner, meeting people, traveling, taking time to relax and care for ourselves etc. and let go of the business we have made our life to be, then we find that we are so much more than only that busy person we tend to be otherwise when we lose ourselves in the business of life.

  17. Recently it was presented to me that I love people so much that I struggle to see the pain that they are experiencing and so I harden and pull away to stop myself from feeling that. It is beautiful to connect to how much you actually love someone and then look at what gets in the way of expressing that.

    1. Sure MW, there are many reasons why we choose for going into the busyness of life and seeing people in pain can be one of them. Therefore is the level of busyness in our societies not an indicator of how much pain there is we do not want to face?

  18. We can so easily put our needs last on the list, and not even realise we are placing other things and people as priorities over us, it is important to understand that the more we care and support ourselves the more we offer everyone else.

  19. This is beautiful, Jane, recognising how important our interactions are with people at work, in the supermarket, everywhere we go. When we hide ourselves behind a barrier, no love and get in and no love can get out. Making time to rest and to self-care thereby increasing vitality is an important lesson for us to learn.

  20. I love people as well and have found that the more I take care of and love myself, the more I naturally love and appreciate others without trying. The words of appreciation are there for others as well as for myself. Which shows that the way we treat ourselves is very important and far from being selfish, it is quite the opposite.

  21. What I am beginning to understand more and more is how important and needed deep rest is .. particularly if we are busy, as if we do not give this time to ourselves, we will then start to resent giving our time to others.

  22. Jane this just proves that self-care is not selfish. If it was it would not have had the result of you wanting to be with people more.

  23. We cannot love others without loving ourselves first, hence our relationship with others is always first a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

  24. Your love of people shines through every word of this blog Jane.

    I love people too but I often find people want to connect in the moment that I’m rushing to try and get somewhere or do something. This always shows me where I’ve gone off track in my daily rhythm.

  25. Simply divine the joy of being ourselves and loving people and letting them in and ourselves out ! A beautiful sharing of the truth of who we all are.

  26. I have also found that if people are a hassle or my social interactions are anything outside of enjoying being in another’s company it’s because somewhere I’ve not been honouring my feelings and supporting myself.

  27. The correlation between self-care and to being open and to connecting to others I can really relate to. Before taking care of and appreciating myself through the inspiration and loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I was shy, nervous and reserved with others, particularly with people I did not know. Now that I am not reserved with myself, I find it a great joy to speak with anyone and everyone when possible.

  28. The correlation between self-care and to being open and to connecting to others I can really relate to. Before taking care of and appreciating myself through the inspiration and loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I was shy, nervous and reserved with others, particularly with people I did not know. Now I find it a great joy to speak with anyone and everyone when possible.

  29. Since also hearing about the importance of taking care of self and resting when needed, I am now much more willing to listen to my body’s rhythm and make more nurturing choices to give my body the best chance to recuperate and to feel refreshed and ready for the day ahead.

  30. Valuing who we are not only gives us the space to support ourselves but also allows us the time to discover, explore and listen to our bodies and what our next moves will be. Whether that is to rest, what to eat or going for a walk, our bodies are always communicating and we take the space to listen and value it’s sharing’s it’s amazing how the world also opens up to us.

  31. I have been bringing more of my connections with others to the fore as opposed to getting on with what I need to get done as quickly as possible. Your day feels completely different if you make it all about the people and connecting with them, and its what we are all wanting after real relationships.

  32. When we focus on tasks and things – people inevitably get in the way. It’s like they’re trying to say ‘hey you’ve got it around the wrong way!’. Make people and love your goal and you will find that life will flow. Thank you Jane.

  33. Deep down we all, I have found, care for other human beings – the only catch is that we expect and believe that they should behave this way. And when they don’t we get hurt. So if this vicious cycles going on, what will make a change? Surely someone has to be the one to show an open heart and go the loving way. Knowing life we will all get a chance to put this into practice today – thank you Jane.

  34. It’s beautiful how deepening our relationship with ourselves, taking more care and nurturing actually then can extend out far beyond self, as it impacts the way we are with everyone else too.

  35. The moment we put a condition on love, we put a condition on God and in so doing inhibit our access to all that is divine that lives and breathes within us.

  36. When we take the time to care for and love our self, this transfers very easily to caring and loving others. It begins with our self before true care can be offered to another which you so beautifully point out in your blog Jane.

  37. So great what you have shared and expressed here and something I can completely relate with. Being ‘nice’ or ‘good’ simply does not serve either ourselves or others and the examples you gave of looking after yourself as so simple and really practical. I, like you, love people however over the last few weeks this has been really noticeable for me in how I am there for others but not for me, I do not give myself time to deeply rest or reflect but feel this is starting to change now and it feels good.

  38. What a simple and life-changing formula – taking the time to love and care for yourself = exponentially better relationships with every single person in your life. What if instead of blaming or ending our relationships we tried this first?

    1. I love how when we give ourselves permission to truly take care of ourselves, the ripple effect is huge, in that we then feel so much more able to connect with and offer care and support to others.

    1. I have been pondering on what letting people in means. Its letting people see exactly who we are – imperfections and all and letting people love and adore us and being ok with all of that. There is also a live and let live element to this. For not everyone will want to love and adore us. So allowing people to feel whatever they feel, not take any of that on or feel we need to pander to anything and still love them anyway. Nothing like letting people in for building relationships, understanding and intimacy.

  39. So much of the world will relate to the likes of: ‘how dare they talk with me, can’t they see I’m busy?’ When we run on empty, we are effectively empty, with nothing to give. When we bring it back to nurturing and caring for ourselves as our very foundation of how we treat ourselves, there is a fullness that cannot but overflow onto others.

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