I Found Observing My Body is a Great Support

by Rosanna Bianchini, Gloucestershire, UK 

A few years ago my body was much harder and more rigid than it is today. I had tightness in the muscles in my neck, shoulders and chest, which was causing both aches and a stiffness of movement in my upper body. My body felt hard and unyielding. As a result I could say that any movement took more effort than would naturally be needed, and the demands on my muscles and my energy were therefore greater.

I had begun to understand that if my body was as tight and as toughened as it was, how could I possibly feel or know what felt right for it and what did not? – just like calloused, leathery hands with their thickened skin cannot allow full sensitivity to feel what is there to be felt. I also noticed that with this hardened and stiffer state the sensitivity and movement-flow through the muscles was being affected, and it was more difficult to be gentle just doing simple everyday things because of this.

For many years I had also a feeling, somewhere inside, that something was very wrong on a deeply fundamental level – from a place more profound than the consistent aches and pains, and deeper than the history of past depression and illness. In very quiet moments, when I was doing yoga and focussed on the deliberate and slow movements in my body, I connected to a place where I could feel there had to be more, another way to live, that did not result in feeling as I did. In that connection lay both the inspiration and the answer, which I was to later discover.

However, the question remained; why had my body ended up in such a way? I wanted to find out what was really going on: what had I been doing for my body to be showing me now, so loudly and clearly, that it was not OK?

But where to start? It was becoming clear, simply through a process of elimination, that any lifestyle choices I was making during the day, like what to eat, when to sleep, how to exercise (or not), must be having a consequence that showed up sooner or later in the body… so how could I become more aware of this? And how could I begin to feel what was really going on in a body that had become stiff and hardened?

I began by paying attention to myself to learn what was happening – but I had to discover a way back to having a body that could feel, and so initially I took my clues from observing Serge Benhayon and others who I could clearly see were making responsible and loving choices for themselves. And it was from their consistent reflection of love, which came through in the way they lived their everyday lives, that the ‘more’ – which I had, deep inside, known there to be – was confirmed. It was confirmed as being love… and with this confirmation my trust in that loving way was re-kindled.

Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself.

I put a focus into bringing a deliberate gentleness to the body and making choices that I had observed were more loving and nurturing, choices that would support my body rather than choices that ignored the physical consequences of them. To build this discovery of what was more self-loving, I took feedback from the body itself. For example, I would experiment with food to feel how what I ate affected my physical state or the way I felt emotionally, I would take notice of all the signs my body could give me, like how ‘bunged up’ did my nose feel on waking? How stiff were my muscles? How runny did my eyes feel? What were my periods like? How creaky were my joints? Did I feel bloated in any way? What did my skin look like? How dry was my hair? How regularly was I going to the loo? Every part of me, both inside and out, had a story to tell. I listened and experimented consistently, checking back for what may have caused the change (good or bad), and adjusting accordingly what I ate, how I worked and how I interacted with people, based on what my body was feeding back to me.

Over this initial year or so, because I had been willing to give myself the time to listen to myself and my body, and in response make choices that were more loving, harmonious and supportive for me, I started to feel more harmony and balance within myself; my hardness and tightness eased and my body became softer and easier. Physically I began to feel more open across my chest and less restricted in my back and shoulders. I also noticed in my relationship with others, feeling less guarded and protective.

I can honestly say that feeling what my body has to say and bringing in more loving choices to live in a more loving way, has brought a profound, positive effect to the way I feel – in all senses of the word. With the self-proven understanding that every choice has its effect, it has been very lovely to explore the benefits and support we can bring to ourselves in such a simple way… I can also say that I am still enjoying this connection and a deepening of that honourable relationship with myself.

268 thoughts on “I Found Observing My Body is a Great Support

  1. Being wiling to explore for ourselves is vital in my view. If we do not use our ability to sense and experience other ways of living, how will we ever discover a way that is true, that is loving and harmonious. Our bodies offer us a great reflection and wonderful feedback if we are willing to ‘hear’ them.

  2. ‘For many years I had also a feeling, somewhere inside, that something was very wrong on a deeply fundamental level…’ It’s my feeling that we all know this on some level. If we listen deeply enough to our bodies and our senses, there is an awareness that this is not how things should be. We are not born to suffer, become ill, experience abuse, fight wars, hate our neighbours, ignore each other, look after number one et al. It is in our nature to be unified, to work together and to live lives of love and harmony. Listening to this inner sense is perhaps the way to begin the path of return to that loving way.

    1. So true Richard yet in general so many people have numbed themselves so much with alcohol, drugs, TV, pornography, abuse, war, etc. etc. – in fact the whole set-up of society – that, that ‘… feeling, somewhere inside …’ is so buried they are longer aware of feeling it.

      1. How important it is then for us to realise that all these distractions are simply sources of relief rather than an answer to the real problem – and in that start to open our eyes and our hearts once again to the love that is within us all.

      2. And those who have realised this; to live expressing that love so that by reflection those who have not, are shown that there is something different to the ‘norm’ of society.

  3. When we become willing to listen to the constant communication from our bodies and honour the relationship we are building with ourselves, we build a strong foundation to support us as we move through life. For me this has transformed my experience of constantly feeling a victim of circumstance, to appreciating the support that my body offers me on our journey though this life.

  4. Inspiring Rosanna. You make listening to your body – something that we in the West have not learned, or better said have unlearned – feel so normal. When somebody says “I feel good” It has to be a body that feels good and yummy first. Not the job I have, the house I own or the partner I have. That’s is a bonus but can never ever be the foundation of our lives. Quite a change for me!

  5. Our bodies speak and as they do we are offered an opportunity to listen, to hear what they say and decide what is needed – it’s an amazing feedback mechanism which never stops speaking; the question for all of us is do we listen and do we honour what the body is telling us.

  6. Universal Medicine teaches that to love the body it is not to love it’s outer appearance, it is to live in the appreciation of the wisdom that every cell holds. This is my understanding and developing relationship with my body, in that I feel more beautiful, sexy and vital than ever before.

  7. When we live in a way that takes more effort to move and do things than it naturally should, is it any wonder that we are, or that we get exhausted.

  8. Thanks Rosanna for that inspiration. I will try this out for myself, observing how my body feels. I thought I did that but after reading this I realise there is a deeper level I can go to, a more dedicated way.

  9. Your blog says a lot about musculoskeletal conditions worldwide and how we might alleviate much of the aches, pains, stiffness, etc, we experience by listening to and responding to our bodies.

    1. Absolutely so many live with chronic debilitating pain that means they do not feel productive members of society and struggle to have a sense of purpose. Introducing the simplicity of listening to what our bodies are saying would save a lot of heartache and money if they were willing to give it a try.

  10. I have found observing and listening to be the key to expanding my awareness in order to feel what is truly supportive for my body and how it responds the more tender and loving I am with myself. I appreciate how it also reacts to call me to deepen my level of care when I have become distracted and dropped my level of awareness and presence.

  11. “Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself.” So true and yet as adults we forget this important and natural way of being and learning about life.

  12. I love this … to be our own science experiments, to stop and see and feel how our bodies are and from there to get to a deeper understanding of who we are, how we live and how that impacts on us and others, a study for us all.

  13. In being willing to observe and listen to our body, the more aware we become of what our body is communicating and calling for, which supports us to build a true foundation and steadiness to our life.

  14. Slowing down movement is a bit like putting on a magnifying glass – we see more, and there’s perfectly designed beauty to be marveled at.

  15. That we have a body is a fact, but even then I have lived in the past with little to no awareness of how important my body is in everything. And how it is the marker of all truth. Saying that our body can not lie and if we don’t want to hear our body communicating to us, it is not the body who is resistant but we are not obedient to it. We can only tell that by becoming aware of things – life can truly change.

  16. Great point Rosanna, when we harden our body as a defence against the world, our true awareness and innate sensitivity that is such a natural support to us is smothered so that we move our body in a way that is ill-configured and not true to how our body naturally is impulsed and designed to move making every day living an unnecessary struggle as we accept a lesser way of being and close ourselves off to connecting more openly with ourselves and others.

  17. I so appreciated reading this today. I haven’t wanted to build a connection with my body at times because it’s felt like an arduous thing to do, but really, what I haven’t wanted to connect to and feel was the hardness and disconnection. Faced with a choice between feeling numbness or feeling stimulated by something outside of us, I think most people would probably choose the stimulation, because the whole world is set up for us to choose that, first. But in my experience, the stimulation is only ever temporary, and it’s insatiable. It doesn’t ever fulfil the deep dissatisfaction of knowing there must be more to life, and more to feel. A deeper level to live our lives, and a fuller way to feel. The steadiness, consistency and deeper knowing of myself feels amazing and is what I get when I make choices that help me to stay connected to what I can feel.

  18. Observing the body and it’s feedback in regard to my lifestyle choices has changed my life. In fact for many decisions I consult my body before acting. Never steers me wrong.

  19. Through observing and being willing to listen to what my body is communicating, the more I am now able to make more loving choices from what my body is telling me, feeling a deeper harmony and steadiness the more I align to the flow of my body’s natural rhythm.

  20. Before Universal Medicine I would have thought I was relatively gentle as I wasn’t rough or tough. However, boy did I then feel otherwise once I started to feel my body. If there was something that I wanted done I would put my body under such intensity to complete. For example, moving large pieces of furniture or cleaning the house until late at night running constantly on nervous energy. It was very awkward and quite mechanical when I first started to be consciously aware of how I closed a drawer or carried groceries from the car or washed my face and put moisturiser on. I was inspired to start making changes when I first saw the quality in which Natalie Benhayon, Miranda Benhayon and Deborah Benhayon moved, spoke and held themselves some 10 years ago.

  21. Lovely appreciation of the body and everything we can learn from it when we truly pay attention. Thank you Rosanna.

  22. Making loving choices has a powerful effect on our health and wellbeing, but much more is the power of reflection that is offered to another, as it is through this that they too know that there is much more to their being-ness as sons of God.

  23. You make what it feels like to make it more about the body really tangible and practical Rosanna. For a person like me, who also had, and still has, a body that is not supple and lived in his head for a very long time, the things you share make it really practical to know how to change the way I relate to my body.

  24. Roseanne, what a gorgeous blog, it is like gentle breathing in and gentle breathing out with a natural appreciation for the body with simplicity as the key ‘Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself.’

  25. The consistent commitment and dedication spoken of here is so supportive and great to read and get an understanding of this in hearing how another has applied this. Right now I’m listening more clearly to what my body offers and beginning to be more open to it, rather than looking at any pain or stiffness I have as something to fix, looking more widely at how I might be moving and being in my day to day life which may in fact compound this, in other words observing without expectation what my body is saying and being willing to hear it.

  26. Our body is very responsive to our choices, as this blog illustrates. When we listen to our body it speaks wisdom on loving ourselves deeply which not only supports ourselves but everyone else too.

  27. The more we are willing to give ourselves the time to listen to our body the more we are able to respond by making far more loving choices that encourage and support us to be more gentle and tender with ourselves.

  28. The greater we build our awareness and connection to our body, the easier it is to feel what the body needs to support it and at the same time the things that don’t.

  29. Rosanna, what a simple and very dedicated way of working with your body and building a deepening relationship with it. You listened and the more you listened the more you heard.

  30. ’Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself’. I love this quote because it brings it back to the beginning when there were no influences

    ‘I took feedback from the body itself’ – this is gold. How often have we overridden what the body has been signalling for years and its only communicating to us what didn’t serve it – simple.

    What a great relationship you are forming with you and your body Rosanna.

  31. Getting feedback from the body enables us to observe and feel what is truly supportive and what is not. How much we are willing and open to changing our choices depends on how deeply we accept, love and value ourselves.

    1. Yes.. getting feedback is one thing, what we do with it is quite another. While changing our choices does depend on how much we appreciate and accept ourselves, it’s also a cycle: the more we value ourselves, the more we want to make self-loving choices, and the more we make those choices, the more we value ourselves. Every time I make a choice that is self-loving, I’m basically giving myself a message that says ‘yes, you’re worth loving’… and this inspires more of those same flavoured choices. And it can be as simple as starting to observe one thing, consistently.

  32. This article brings things simply to an almost common sense. If you treat yourself in a way that almost deliberately prevents you from what is very natural, feeling then this would make sense on some many things. Like the example of your hands as the article gives us, it just made so much sense. We desensitise ourselves which then makes it appear we are less sensitive and yet just like the hand this is only the top level. In other words you can’t obviously feel it on the surface of your skin but that doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling it, it just means part of you can’t feel it. As we are seeing and as I know we can always feel things and we can only try and stop and perceive that this isn’t the case.

  33. A beautiful reminder Rosanna of how life changes when we live in connection with our body and listen to the wisdom we are constant receiving.

  34. “Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself” . . . this is a beautiful way to learn as we then become our very own scientific experiment and our learning gets registered in our body so it is not just knowledge from the head.

  35. A honourable relationship with yourself is so key, so needed, as we are so precious, so it is time to realize it again – claim that fact, and walk our life in a way that honours every cell of our being – without perfection, but true commitment.

  36. We are very clever. We manage to shape and create a body that supports us moving in a way that guarantees not feeling it, hence not being discerning about life. So, everything is fine, while in truth it isn’t.

  37. “Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself.” Our own body is a true scientific laboratory for life where we can observe the cause and effect of all we do.

  38. I love the dedication that you brought to yourself through simply observing absolutely everything about your body and listening to what it is telling you. This is how we learn: with no judgments and expectations, and no need to get it right, just an absolute holding of ourselves and a trust that where we are right now is where we need to be – and appreciating all the learning we are getting.

  39. I loved what you have shared Rosanna about your commitment to observing your body and what it is feeling then making self loving choices accordingly. Thank you for the inspiration to look deeper.

  40. This blog has blown me away, it honestly is something I will go back to read again and again. I have been having a hard time lately, feeling like I just can’t get a clear feeling on things, what you describe and the way you observe your body and experiment with it is beyond inspiring and completely simple. This is the stuff we should be teaching our kids.

  41. A great reminder Rosanna, that when we connect with our body and deepen our relationship with ourselves, we are able to honestly look at our lifestyle choices and feel the impact they are having on us and that our body is far more tender and delicate than we realise.

  42. Looking around at our world as it is today, many live with the tension, tightness and hardness in the body, with no connection to it being there because of how we live. To make the changes from the awareness as shared here requires first a dedication to ones body, and a humble attitude that allows one to accept what is felt and adjust ones life accordingly. Rosanna’s experiences are there for any who are willing to be inspired by.

  43. Sometimes I feel I am too quick in wanting to get things right. When we allow space for whatever there is to be acknowledged and felt, there’s so much to be learnt. Allowing of that space is already a loving choice that we can give to ourselves. It is very inspiring and beautiful to read how your relationship with yourself has been deepening.

  44. “Just as a child would learn – I observed, I listened, I noticed and then I experimented for myself.” A great reminder of our natural childlike curiosity and exploring our old habits and or behaviours and returning to the gentle, joyful way of living in connection to our bodies and the true love and support needed to live a vitally rich life.

  45. Esoteric yoga is such a great way of connecting to the body and allowing all that is there to come up and learn to let go and surrender so that the body is in a state where it can look at and process what is going on.

  46. It’s a great question Rosanna about the body when it’s been stuck in a momentum – “so how could I become more aware of this?” It is a constant choice; and only when you are willing do you become aware of it is a moment to moment choice to forge together a new momentum and body. Both bodies (self-neglect or love) are a choice that is saying yes to either. The trickery here is if your not saying yes to love your saying yes to indulgence or contraction. That’s the point – you are always making a choice.

  47. I love your expression of the “honorable relationship” with you self. The experience you share is very similar to mine and I have discovered the two most essential qualities to support any choice is ‘observing – lovingly’. Without these I can turn it into should’s and should not’s which doesn’t truly clear the attraction to eat or do things that don’t sit well in my body.

  48. “With the self-proven understanding that every choice has its effect, it has been very lovely to explore the benefits and support we can bring to ourselves in such a simple way…” I love that Rosanna as to self-prove something with the body is so much joy-fuller than only imitating and thinking it – for me, it is lived and so it can not be challenged anymore.

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