Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones… But Words Can Do Far Greater Damage

How many of us were told when we were young that “sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you?”. Were we taught to ignore our feelings and disregard any inner-pain as if this didn’t really exist because they were just ‘words’ and there wasn’t a bruise, break or any other obvious sign to prove these words had injured us?

I often smile at my five year old’s fascination with bruises – that we can be bleeding on the inside and yet there is no blood on the outside. How can this be?

What else could be going on inside us that we can’t always see on the outside?

Imagine if we were taught from a young age that “everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy” – as presented by Universal Medicine? Wouldn’t that mean that words have energy as well?

Just to know this to be a possibility would go a long way in confirming what most, if not all of us, have felt at some time in our lives – that people’s words can carry just as much of a punch (if not more so, sometimes) than their physical actions.

A word can be expressed with love and yet the same word can be spoken with hate. Even the words ‘I love you’ can be spoken with true love and appreciation for another in one instance, or with the intention of pleasing, getting something, with underlying resentment, bitterness or sarcasm on another occasion.

It appears all too easy to be fooled by ‘words we want to hear’ and ‘need’ to hear, and in that we too readily overlook the energy they are coming with or the punch that they can carry.

My experience is that these energetic punches do bruise us over time and can affect the way in which we relate to all others as a result – if we have not initially discerned the energy of spoken words and how they feel to us in-truth, at the time.

Imagine the enormous healing for all of humanity to simply realise that words carry energy. Wouldn’t this go a long way to confirm what many of us perhaps already know to be true?

Wouldn’t we then be more equipped to know where someone is coming from? Know how we feel in our own body when words are spoken to us? And be far more discerning about our own energy when we express words to others?

by Deborah

207 thoughts on “Sticks And Stones May Break Your Bones… But Words Can Do Far Greater Damage

  1. Being supported to read energy should be a foundational part of our schooling from young, before we even learn to read words on a page!

    1. I so agree Fiona. However the adult teachers aren’t aware of the importance of this and I too wasn’t aware of the importance of reading energy first until I came to listen to Universal Medicine presentations .

  2. Deborah thank you for your wonderful blog. What came up for me while I am reading your words is that we all are sensitive by nature, as otherwise we would not feel every single tone behind a spoken word. The thing is most of us are pretending to do, not feel what in truth is there as this seems a bit to confronting.

  3. We are so super tender and sensitive that just the ounce of a tone in the voice that feels unloving is not just registered but experienced as painful, as we know ourselves and everyone equally to be of pure love in essence and everything that is not of the same love is hurting our innate nature.

  4. It is so true that the words we use which either represent the truth or all that is not of truth, reveal the quality of vibration that is being aligned to in any situation. I love that this awareness is accessible to us all, to be able to navigate and respond with the truth that is needed to bring greater love to the lives we live, through developing a loving and honouring relationship with our essence, our truth within. It also brings to home the responsibility we all hold as to the quality we are living and expressing with and the impact this has on all.

  5. A word spoken in anger, resentment, or mocking energy can be recycled a thousand times in ones mind, causing immense inner damage if we accept part of it as being true even if it is not, whereas any physical damage begins to heal immediately and this process does not have as lasting of an effect. If the spoken word is a sound vibration that comes into the body of another person to be interpreted, doesn’t it make sense that the quality of that vibration (either love or not) then will have a corresponding effect on its recipient? Simple physics, really.

  6. Very well said, when people don’t like you but are nice we can feel it and before we know it we are compensating by trying to be liked, better, not disturbing and so on without being aware of that. It is important to feel it so we don’t take it personally and compensate but just can be ourselves.

  7. When talking pain, it is the physical image of it that prevails. Words, therefore, cannot hurt us. Yet, the fact that they can hurt us say something regarding the accuracy of such image.

  8. By far the greatest thing I have ever learnt is the ability to descern the difference between someone speaking from the head or their heart because the quality of the words spoken is vastly contrasting!

  9. Goodness there is so much in what you have shared here and absolutely there is a responsibility that goes with the words that come out of our mouths “A word can be expressed with love and yet the same word can be spoken with hate.” The intention behind words can be felt with the ripple effect of the sound of the word, we know it, we feel it, we just don’t want to acknowledge it because then we would have to bring a much deeper level of responsibility to the way we speak.

  10. The impact of words can quite literally knock us off our feet. I remember the saying “sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you” – it gives you no voice if words do hurt you and it also gives people a license to be as irresponsible and as hurtful as like by implying there are no consequences, however the consequence of words are massive – whether they are the truth or whether they are harmful – we cannot deny how much they effect our lives every single day.

  11. From some time to now I’m becoming more aware about my expression. Particularly I’m reviewing how and why I express. I’m realizing that sometimes it is to distract myself, to get some recognition and acceptance, to engage and not feeling alone…all these are just patterns that I used from a very young age during the whole of my life. This blog brings me to be more aware about the responsibility that I carry when I express, and this is not just about words, it is about me, about how I am with myself from my presence. I’m realizing that sometimes it’s ok being in silence too, as it is this silence that gives me the space to discern when my words are really needed or not.

  12. Words, are just words when are not lived. They feel like an empty vase. One of the things that inspires me most from Serge Benhayon is his way of expression. His words feel vibrant and full as they comes from a Livingness, not from theories or knowledge. When I saw him the very first time I could feel a huge difference between how he was presenting and the lessons that I received from some of my teachers at school in the past. I could see and feel the energy in words and the integrity from a heartleft man who is transparent and very humble in the way he presents.

  13. When we stop being stuck in the mind and thus hearing words just for their intellectual content but re-connect to the body, feel the body and thus listen from and with the body, we will be aware of everything that comes with every word. The true intelligence is the whole body and never just a single part.

    1. Yes, beautifully said Alexander. There is so much more for us all to live in this life, in this body and when we do connect to our bodies we realise that there is whole other level of intelligence, awareness and wisdom for us to be guided by.

  14. “What else could be going on inside us that we can’t always see on the outside?” Re-learning to trust and honour my feelings rather than relying purely on what I see has brought far greater truth to the reality of life.

  15. The feeling I get is how we don’t really want to embrace and apply this fact that ‘everything is energy’ in its entirety.

  16. The more we realise that we world we are in and are a part of, ourselves with our body & being included, are all purely energetic first, that more we will understand our responsibility for what energy we are choosing to align to at every given moment, and how it is this that impacts everything we do, say and experience.

  17. We have a responsibility in the energy behind all words spoken or written. What is the imprint we are choosing to leave for another to pick-up? Lack of awareness comes into this if we are looking for an excuse to not be responsible.

  18. It seems to me that the ‘sticks and stones’ saying is very often trotted out when someone is already upset by something that has been said. I can certainly remember it being said to me. But the point was I was already hurt by what had been said so it didn’t really hold any weight. Words are energy and they do hurt people. It is so very evident in what happens over social media and in emails, arguments and the like. We all have a lot of responsibility where words are concerned – not to use them as weapons – but the vessels of love they can truly be.

  19. I have been fooled many times in life by the words I love you. I wanted to believe the words but I could never deny what came with them and I always knew it wasn’t love. So I guess I was not really fooled, it was more like opting to go with words over energy.

    1. Absolutely Nikki, we can feel it, we just choose to not clock it because we don’t know how to handle what we feel, it is like we have not been given the vocabulary to clock it so it doesn’t affect us. Therefore the hurt we actually feel when we are on the receiving end of that irresponsibility or when we are the producers of that lie or pain, gets buried and builds a warning in our bodies that words cause pain. My sense is, that is where we go to distraction so we don’t have to take responsibility and address our own or another persons behaviour.

      1. It hurts to accept that what we know is not love as love. Every particle in our body knows love and therefore we know what is not love.

  20. With the increased number of suicides due to cyber bullying it would be hard to use that phrase in society these days.

  21. Words definitely can be used to hurt another, I have found that it is not the words themselves but the tone in which they are delivered that lets us know loud and clear what the person delivering them truly feels, there have been many times where I have heard another say what they think you want to hear, yet the delivery gives it away, we need to be far more aware of how words are delivered and the energy behind the delivery too.

  22. Words certainly can carry a punch and perhaps even more damagingly is when they appear to be ‘nice’ or softly spoken but underneath there is something else not so nice… And I agree it’s important for us to acknowledge that words do hurt at times because then we give ourselves the opportunity to process and heal why we felt hurt rather than just bury it and carry it round with us…

  23. For a while I didn’t comprehend how words could harm someone, if anything I was not taking responsiblity.

    It is only since attending Universal Medicine’s workshops that I realise I have ultimate responsibility in everything I do and say.

    At work I was completing a module on consumer care and I watched a nurse say two words, one with care and attention which felt so loving and the same words with anger and attitude and that felt really harming and jarring to my body – an eye opener for sure.

  24. I remember that saying and it was used usually after something nasty had been said. My experience growing up when I remember this being said was that words at times did hurt and the only answer was to say this saying, fight or walk away. I remember different words bringing out different things and at times the same word said in different ways from different people often made me feel differently as well. There was another saying around that time for me and that was, “it’s not what you say but how you say it” and this rings true for me. Anyone can say anything and yet the quality of what is said seems to be the key. I know in particular looking at children when they are spoken to you can grab a good gauge on how things feel when they are said. From my experience we are all feeling everything all the time and so even with the simplest hello we can feel the truth of what is actually being said, the quality of what things truly mean.

  25. This is a great blog highlighting the importance of the words we use every day and how they have the power to harm or heal. Knowing this brings a responsibility with the way we express with everyone, Serge Benhayon is a true role model in expressing in a responsible and loving way that unifies people and asks them to be more – it’s such a powerful choice to live this every day.

  26. Words can do lots of damage. At the beginning the damage may be invisible but at some point, it becomes visible and cannot longer be denied. We learn about words the easy way or the hard one.

  27. “Oh my God, why hasn’t someone said this before?” But have we said it to ourselves? If you visit a GP who is overweight and smokes, will you listen to advice that you should lose weight and stop smoking? And with Serge Benhayon it is the truth of the way he lives in every moment that we feel and inspires us to come to this same truth.

    1. That is very true Mary, if someone tells you to stop doing something that they actually do themselves then there’s no inspiration to change, whereas if someone lives and breathes that change then we can be inspired to also make that change.

  28. “Imagine the enormous healing for all of humanity to simply realise that words carry energy. “Thank you Deborah for a great blog on the power of words and their energetic quality to either hurt or heal, it makes me realise the great responsibility I have with how I speak and the quality with which it is delivered and its lasting effects on others.

  29. Spot on Debra, I had a massive bruise on my arm recently, it didn’t go away for 4 weeks and so it was unfortunately the topic of discussion quite a lot. What I came to realise over this time, is that as a society we are much more comfortable talking about external issues than we are asking someone why they are so sad everyday or why they are speaking so sharply to their kids? Words can hurt a lot more than any injury because often things that hurt us on the inside can go unnoticed by others and un-dealt with by us and thus they are not healed.

  30. In my experience words can have a huge and very lasting impact on us, especially if we are not discerning of the energy that they are coming with… And it’s interesting how the use of some words has changed over time to mean the opposite of what they originally meant, which makes me wonder why that change occurred and is there something there that is trying to be concealed or kept hidden?!

  31. I have learned, often the hard way, that we can be fooled by words, but what I have also learned is that we cannot be fooled by the energy that comes with the words. As small children we can feel this energy but unfortunately most of us are not supported to hold this natural ability and as a result we end up hearing only the words and are often deeply affected by those that do not come with love.

  32. Great blog, Deborah. You are so correct in that emotional punches and the bruises they leave are more enduring and affect us in far more than physical ones. These bruises are more injurious in that they scar our way of being and not just the physical body.

  33. All words are a vessel that hold an energetic quality that either represents the truth or not. Over time we have lost our sense to read the energetic quality or package that is delivered with the words we speak, write or sing with. As such we have allowed gross corruption, abuse and violence to be transmitted through words, which now is escalating to the life-threatening degrees, including an alarming number of fatalities, that we are witnessing today through cyber-bullying. So the illusion that words can do no harm is a falsity that can no longer be ignored. We are all responsible for the way we speak, the intent we speak with and we equally have the power to arrest the lovelessness we feel when words are not spoken with the love we all deserve to be met with.

    1. Well said and very true Carola, cyber bullying or any sort of bullying wouldn’t exist if we all lived in a more responsible and loving way.

  34. A great exposure on the harming effect of the misuse of words in both their delivery and true meaning. Energetic integrity and responsibility in the way we express to everyone, would bring many amazing changes to the way we respect and value people too.

  35. Great blog Deborah.. perhaps the saying should be “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can hurt me more than anything if I don’t discern how they are being used” not so catchy but definitely true.

  36. YES! OMG I would have loved to have been taught that in school. Taught how to deal with feelings and emotions that my body was sending me all the time. The alternative is to literally override, ignore, and cover over with myriad distractions, and I for one can attest the very fact that it all catches up with you in the end. Had I been better equipped to handle my sensitivity from an early age, I would not have had to go through the many dips of depression and anxiety in my 30 odd years. Instead I would have learnt to appreciate early on that my sensitivity is my strength not my weakness.

  37. Great blog Deborah it made our own responsibility visible and palpable – there is no place to hide – the only way is to be open to the possibility that we all can feel energy in every second of our life.

  38. You cannot tell me that the emotions we feel and can indulge in don’t have an effect on our bodies health and wellbeing. After all they are tangible and can be felt, and if we are honest, sometimes hurt as much as physical pain can. That we don’t think they are accumulating and having both instant and long lasting effects in our own bodies biochemistry and intricate workings means we are living in ignorant bliss and really need to wake up to the fact that everything we do feel and say counts. We all have much to learn as there is a science here that needs to be studied far more extensively with honesty, clarity and absolute integrity so it can be truly understood and lived.

  39. If, as you say, we were ‘more equipped’, we would be far more discerning and take energetic responsibility for all of our movements; wouldn’t that be loving, harmonious and refreshing for us individually and for humanity. Thank you Deborah for your inspiration and wisdom.

  40. For sure Deborah, words can either harm or heal and that is a science we all know so well, we only do not want that to be exposed. We all know how to manipulate or how to influence someone’s behaviors with words, so to me that proves that we know this, but in our irresponsibility we avoid being consciously aware of this fact and with that limit our understanding of what hurting someone to us means. We accept only the physical hurt we can do to one another but comfortably forget that words can even do far more harm and even can make people choose suicide as a way to escape from the hurt that has been brought to them by words.

  41. It is the greatest gift that I reignited, to feel and discern the energy of another’s words and actions. Thanks to Universal Medicine to present the way and bring continuous tools to resurrect my sixth sense clairsentience.

  42. I love your analogy here Deborah. When a physical force or blow hits us it hurts our body and bruises it. So, when we get emotional blows how can we not think we don’t carry a wound from them as words can be just as devastating as any physical blow.

  43. Children are wonderful at bringing our attention to things and making us ponder further. Often words, and the way they are configured are aimed to put another person down, sometimes to the point of annihilation. Like wise they are used to manipulate, reinterpreting the truth to satisfy someones agenda and can be very destructive and hurtful in that sense. The more centred and full of ourselves we are the less the words can get to us and cause any pain. It is also our responsibility to not get hooked in by the emotion in the words and retaliate in some way and thus use the same kind of energy, albeit a different flavour, to express or communicate back.

  44. When we don’t discern the energy that comes with the words we can be easily fooled by them-and if we don’t read the energy, we take it on. I can cut out foods and drinks that I know don’t work for my body- but if I’m still poisoning myself in other ways by taking on others’ emotions or energy then nothing has actually changed: I’m still finding other ways to poison myself. The question is why: why do we do things that deliberately hurt us? What is it that we don’t want to feel?

  45. Deborah I agree for sure – if we can acknowledge that words carry energy then we are already more equipped to be aware of just what it is that they are carrying and can from that be more aware of how we truly feel to respond.

  46. So true – we have got this double standard thing going on. We are very sensitive to the energy in words, and even without any obvious words, just by their configuration, our hurts can get triggered and we may go into reaction. But when we have needs and hear what we want to hear, we often allow ourselves to be fooled by what we hear.

  47. The energy behind words may not register in the mind at the time but it is definitely felt by the body. To know the truth of any word spoken we only have to connect to and feel how our body is feeling for therein lies the truth of the word spoken.

  48. “Everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy” A truth that if felt and lived would change the path of humanity.

  49. So true. It seems to me that whoever initiated that ‘sticks and stones’ saying did so because they felt very clearly that words can hurt and it was an attempt to negate the very real pain they could feel. It is like a denial of the truth. If I tell myself this doesn’t hurt then I won’t feel it. The irony is they are using the very power of words to try to negate the power of words. Our language gives us away doesn’t it. How often do we say things like ‘it hit me that…’ or ‘it struck me…’ when describing a realisation that words have brought us. Another one is ‘take it on the chin’ – just like a punch – for that is what we feel in truth.

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