by Kylie Jackson, Goonellabah, Australia
I have always been naturally ‘responsible’. I knew on some level that I needed to live by example, and ‘walk the talk’, so to speak. And so, I always did the ‘right’ thing and thought that as long as I ‘did’ the right things that I was being a good example and being ‘responsible’. What I didn’t fully realise though, was that greater than the ‘doing’, was my way of ‘being’. When others looked to me, they were actually seeing a way to be with themselves.
For a while, I was doing some modelling. What I didn’t realise then, was that every time someone looked at me I was actually ‘selling’ something to them. I was ‘selling’ a way of being. I thought it was about the clothes, or the way I looked, but it was so much more than that. I found that a lot of people looked to me, including the younger girls in the modelling agency. They always asked me lots of questions – they wanted to know about what and how I ate, how I exercised, how I lived. But when I would answer these questions, I secretly knew how much I actually hurt my body by over-exercising, not eating enough, being very self critical, being anxious, trying to be perfect, and punishing myself constantly – there was no way I would want them to be that way with themselves.
People would look to me as being ‘healthy, nice, polite, friendly, sweet etc’. But if you looked more closely at my choices, I used to be a walking advertisement selling how to –
- Abuse your body,
- Starve yourself,
- Never feel enough,
- Be hard on yourself,
- Appear to be ‘perfect’ – no matter what the cost,
- Be critical,
- Push to extremes,
- Live in anxiousness and disregard,
- Always look for recognition from people around you,
- Have to be or look a certain way to be loved or to be accepted in the world,
- Not honour how you feel,
- Always put others first.
People would get all of this, just by looking at me, or by being around me.
I didn’t realise how much my choices influenced others – and that I was constantly selling a picture; a whole package that looked so sweet on the outside it enticed others to make the same choices. Now I know how harmful this was… because if I wasn’t being myself, I was also encouraging others to not be themselves.
It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I got a deeper understanding of what responsibility truly is. Yes, responsibility is about being honest, abiding by the law, paying your bills and being respectful of others. BUT, it is also about so much more than this.
I have since learnt that being truly responsible is being who you naturally are. It might sound simple, but being who you truly are is the greatest responsibility of all.
Being responsible, I have come to realise, is about just being the real me – without feeling like I need to change who I am to fit in, or to pretend to be someone else to please others. It is simply being as loving as I can be with myself and then also naturally with others. It is the quality that I choose to live in, my quality of being in everything I do – my way of living.
Before I was aware of this, it may have looked like I was very ‘loving’ with everyone around me, but I didn’t extend that same level of love to myself first. I would make kind gestures to others, even if it put me out, or left me as less. Even though I did a lot of ‘good’, it still wasn’t ‘it’, because I wasn’t truly caring for myself first, before I did any of these things.
Since meeting Serge Benhayon around 8 years ago, I have been constantly and consistently inspired by Serge, as well as all of the practitioners at Universal Medicine. I have been inspired to be more loving with myself.
What I feel, particularly being around Serge, is the deep level of care and love that he lives with himself, and all others equally so. When I visit the Universal Medicine Clinic, see a practitioner, attend a Universal Medicine course or workshop, I have found that just being in that presence inspires me – I want to care for myself even more deeply.
It is quite an amazing thing to meet someone who truly loves themselves. It can be felt in their every step, movement, the way they meet you and speak with you. There is no judgment or imposition because they do not judge themselves. Choosing to live lovingly has an enormous ripple effect.
I now realise that I too carry this power for others. The way I am with myself affects everyone and everything else.
Why was I not taught about this kind of responsibility in school?
In attending the Esoteric Women’s Presentations by Natalie Benhayon I have also deepened my relationship with my body. I can feel from Natalie the exquisite quality that she holds herself in; this inspires me to really love myself in a whole new way. To me, this is what a true role model is about. How lovely to have someone remind me that being a woman is not about what I do, or how I look, or dress; but very simply, honouring how I feel.
I am now so much more honouring of myself, and I have learnt what it is to truly cherish me, every day.
I now love spending time to get ready for me, and not to get ready to please the world like I used to. It feels completely different to get dressed, put on makeup and do my hair in this way… there is a whole new quality present. In choosing to be with myself in this way, I am now reflecting something different – a different quality – love.
Now this is something I truly want to reflect.
With the support and amazing reflection of Universal Medicine, I have begun making choices to love me. This has changed everything.
I am still asked a lot of questions, but the questions are different to what I used to get asked, such as, how can I be so calm all the time? Why am I not tired? Why is my skin so clear? And now, when I answer these, I know that I am actually inspiring another to make choices that are loving for them also. There is no pretending.
The beautiful thing is, I have seen an enormous change in my life, and in all of my relationships – with myself, my partner, my family, my friends, my work and also my dog. I am now seeing how my choices can inspire others, and how they too are blossoming and being more loving with themselves.
For me, this is True Responsibility.
Thank you Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine for being true role models in this world. You are the living proof that it is not just about our worldly responsibility, but our Universal responsibility – to be ourselves.
Thank you for showing another way.
Thank you for the True Reflection.