by Angela Perin, Brisbane, QLD, Australia
In my life, dancing has been something I’ve attempted, but never really ‘got’. I remember ‘trying’ to get it at the high-school discos – trying to get my body to do the fancy and smooth moves that I saw some of my friends do; trying to exude the confidence that some of them had appeared to master – never missing a beat and technically faultless. The point is, I always felt somewhat awkward. There was something not quite right, and I never felt like I could really let go…
Of course there were the odd flashing moments when I didn’t feel this awkwardness – such as dancing in the privacy of my own bathroom or bedroom (quickly brought to an embarrassing halt when I realised someone was watching!), but this was not consistent. So I settled for imagining what it would be like to dance with absolute freedom and joy, almost (as the saying goes) as if ‘no-one was watching’…
In my high school years, there were the odd (and very brief) moments of connection (when my body and head were on the same page), but mostly I was ‘trying’ in my head to ‘pre-think’ the move and get something together, and the truth was, my body just wasn’t following the instructions! Although on the outside I probably didn’t look as awkward as I felt (I still had some mastery of beat and rhythm), I knew that the way I danced was not totally comfortable… there was still an awareness of not feeling totally comfortable in my body, and I was subtly aware that there was ‘effort’ required to get the moves, which just didn’t seem natural, and felt forced – even when from the outside, they may have looked ok.
In my 20’s and 30’s, the only time I really felt comfortable dancing was after a few (or a lot of) drinks. The alcohol seemed to give me a sense of confidence that I didn’t have otherwise, but looking back – even then, I was aware that I didn’t feel ‘me’… Even though I felt more outwardly confident with my dance moves, they were over-exaggerated (to the point of being plain silly/ridiculous at times). It simply didn’t really feel like it was ‘me’ dancing, and I felt a very strong sense of having to put on a display and show off (which I must add, I had mastered quite well!). Overall, I could feel there was a disconnection from me when I danced under the influence of alcohol, so I can’t really say ‘I’ owned the dancing or felt ‘in’ or ‘with’ my body.
So the feeling of actually dancing just for me was something that largely eluded me through most of my life, and to be honest, I hadn’t really given it any further thought until a few weeks ago…
Now, imagine what it would feel like to be in a large group of people that were all dancing for themselves but with everyone else at the same time? Imagine if there was no alcohol and no drugs, no-one trying or needing to out-compete or out-dance the other, and no-one judging or comparing another’s dance moves. In fact, what if you had people actually celebrating each other’s dance moves? Not by way of “Oh no, you’re ‘better’ than me”, but “Wow, I’m inspired by you”. And – what if there was nothing to prove or achieve (as in getting recognition) by this dancing? What if it was simply a natural expression and way of celebration?
Impossible you say? I say not.
The end of year Universal Medicine concert and dance celebration at Lennox Head on 15th December 2012 was absolute confirmation to me that dancing has nothing to do with ‘proving’ anything: it is not about showing off, comparison, judgment or envy, and it is definitely not about how many people are watching you, or having ‘better’ or more technically advanced or coordinated dance moves than another.
I experienced (in myself and in observing others) that dancing can be a celebration of who you truly are.
In the case of last weekend, the dancing was truly amazing, full of vitality, and absolute fun and joy! What I felt was an expression of a group of people celebrating themselves and each other. There was no ‘hype’ or ‘prep’ or artificial stimulus (i.e. alcohol, drugs etc.) for people to get in the mood – the dance was simply a natural extension of the amazing presentations and concert that had preceded the dance. And because of this, there was no ‘let down’ or ‘regret’ at the end of the dance and there was no ‘high’ to come down from.
For me, I realised at the end, that although I had stopped dancing, (by that stage I felt, [like I’m sure many others did!] that it was time for a shower and bed…), I didn’t stop being ‘me’, and that’s why I continued to feel amazing after the dancing stopped. I didn’t feel less or more of me because of the dancing – I simply felt like me.
I never understood until this particular weekend what it truly meant to dance for, and dance with, me. My deepest thanks to Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine – not only for organising such an awesome end of year celebration, but for presenting, and inspiring by living example, the consistent commitment to re-connect to the body, and to allow the possibility for all expression (including dance) to come from that connection.
I say… bring on the celebrations of 2013!
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
It’s beautiful to dance as an extension of how lovely you feel without having to put on any act. There is such a freedom in this. I remember feeling a longing to express myself with dance yet never felt comfortable or confident about this. What a lovely experience you have described Angela.
I can only agree Angela – dancing is also for me now pure joy and a celebration of who I am. There is nothing to achieve, just to enjoy dancing with me and other people. Wonderful.
That’s the key isn’t it alexander1207 “there is nothing to achieve”! And this applies to everything we do… if we first focus on being ourselves, everything else that we need to ‘do’ is allowed to come as a natural result of that, without the focus being on the end result or fitting into an ideal of the way we think we should be doing it.
Dancing from a connection with ourselves is amazing when compared to the dancing to show off or to numb from our feelings. This morning I connected to myself and all of a sudden I couldn’t help but bust a little move in my bedroom. Our true selvess are worth dancing for and celebrating, it can’t help but come out and should that be through moving the body in a certain way then so be it! Certainly beats trying to control my movements which is very exhausting.
“Now, imagine what it would feel like to be in a large group of people that were all dancing for themselves but with everyone else at the same time? Imagine if there was no alcohol and no drugs, no-one trying or needing to out-compete or out-dance the other, and no-one judging or comparing another’s dance moves.” Gorgeous blog Angela. I love the celebrations at the end of Universal Medicine courses and retreats. I love dancing, but used to dance and either my mind would be away with the fairies or I would be self-conscious. Since coming to True Movement and the esoteric modalities I am more connected to my body first as I dance nowadays, allowing my natural expression to emanate, rather than ‘look at me’ or ‘don’t look at me’!
Like you Angela, I have always found dancing awkward but I do feel it may become more natural over time and through attending events such as those you describe in your blog.
‘the consistent commitment to re-connect to the body, and to allow the possibility for all expression (including dance) to come from that connection.’ – Beautifully said Angela, I love the reminder of how re-connecting to the body makes all our movements true and allows a freedom and joy in us that is deeply inspiring.
My story is similar to yours Angela as to the awkward and self-conscious way I used to feel about dancing, so different to the freedom felt when dancing at the Universal Medicine end of year celebration, where there is no comparison or judgement felt, but just the pure joy of celebrating with each other and the wonderful connection felt within ourselves and our bodies when we move in this way.
Angela, l remember that awkwardness in my body as a teenager at discos . And l too remember that awesome concert where you so beautifully described the dancing and how we all felt deeply having celebrated who we are. Thanks for the reminder of that incredible marker still living in our bodies.
I have always loved to dance but I was always aware of how it looked and it never felt completely free, it had to be in a certain way, specific moves etc. And when I got home I felt empty and left alone or too excited to sleep. I love what you share Angela about the celebration; ‘I didn’t stop being ‘me’, and that’s why I continued to feel amazing after the dancing stopped. I didn’t feel less or more of me because of the dancing – I simply felt like me.’ That is the joy of true movement!
This is huge Angela as my feeling is that most dancing is designed to not only take us away from our bodies but to also shut down our awareness of them in the first place. You show here just how simple and joy-full it truly can be to dance with our bodies instead of against them. Setting the trends for the future well before its time!
It is lovely to let go our inhibitions and just freely enjoy the music and movement in the company of others who are doing the same, enjoying themselves. If we could carry this over into other areas of life how amazing this would be. Joy Love and harmony with all,
thank you Angela.
Beautifully shared Angela. I agree that ‘dancing can be a celebration of who you truly are.’ As I also have discovered that when with ourselves, connected to our essence, is a joy in itself where worrying about ‘how we look’ or if we are ‘getting it right’ does not exist. And to move with this joy is truly and simply a naturally divine and glorious experience. It is really beautiful and inspiring to be able to celebrate with others in this way.
I have often felt like I would love to dance yet I have felt exactly as you have described with the awkwardness of dancing. The end of year celebration sounds awesome Angela. I would love to dance like that.
Dancing was never my thing either, however since being involved with Universa Medicine I have found it so much easier to let go and just let my body move to the music so I totally understand where you are coming from Angela
It is an amazing feeling as you say Angela to dance totally connected to oneself and others and not worry about what others think of you or see you as. I loved to dance but I had a huge anxiety and a neediness around how I was seen, an investment in trying to be really really cool rather than myself. I am just naturally cool now I have discovered, without even trying hehe, thanks to True Movement, I just love it! Everyone connected to themselves and therefore to each other, the flow feels gorgeous and it is actually very healing to do.
‘Naturally cool’ I love that Jeanette, I am naturally cool too : – )
“the consistent commitment to re-connect to the body, and to allow the possibility for all expression (including dance) to come from that connection.” This is interesting. I used to think that I didn’t have a problem with dancing for myself because I danced a lot and freely without inhibition – but I wasn’t completely with myself nor in my body. I was channelling dancing. I was often using it as a form of release and relief. I also could dance with the music, letting the music dictate what I would feel and how I moved. I am gradually forming a relationship with myself that allows me to be connected to me first before anything outside of me – so the music supports me as I move and dancing this way feels totally different. Attending Esoteric Yoga ( as practised by Universal Medicine Practitioners) True Movement and Sacred Movement are now my chosen ways of continuing this way of feeling from my body and allow me to deepen as far as I want to go.
I loved this blog – mastering the dance moves was always very stressful and cringe worthy. Like you, I found confidence in dancing after a couple of drinks which seemed to make things appear easier, along with socialising in general but it wasn’t a great solution as the alcohol just didn’t agree with me – in the end I realised it just wasn’t worth feeling that ill and restricted it to once a year at christmas.
It is now clearer to me that the anxiety I was feeling was purely because I was too concerned about what I thought others felt about me and how I looked from the outside, getting it right and not connecting to me first.
The dancing at Universal Medicine events is always something very enjoyable. I find an innocence in the group and a freedom to express non-imposingly. Serge Benhayon conducts the music and the dance in a way, that it can be a healing experience to connect from within – and not from the outside in (through recognition, comparison…).
For me I have found that I never liked dancing, it came with a feeling of moving to anothers beat (which is often the case with music playing) and depending on the songs it would determine how one moved. This can be seen in music videos as certain genres have certain ‘expected’ movements. Since being introduced to how dance can be experienced, from ourselves expressing our own beat and rhythm, dance does not feel so uncomfortable to me as it once did.
Dancing is something I love. Last weekend at the Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 5, I danced like I have never dance before. For the first time I was dancing, moving my body deeply connected to myself, God and everyone, feeling the love EVERYWHERE. It’s difficult to put into words what I felt in my body, the closest way to describe it was feeling my preciousness, joy and immense love. Every move was an exquisite feeling. Then there were brief moments of recognition creeping in, I become aware of it, I let it go and chose again to reconnect to my body and the music. The more I connected to my body and the love around me the thoughts of recognition had no room to contaminate my thoughts and my body. I was able to reconnect again. I now have a point of reference and a knowing that I can choose to connect to this divine way of moving my body in every moment. I can choose to feel the immense love that is in me and all around me consistently. It is always there, I just have to choose to connect to it.
When I dance in the way you described at the celebrations, connected with and feeling like myself, I find that when I stop dancing, I feel no tiredness or exhaustion. It’s as if I can continue to function completely normally, one minute dancing, the next having a conversation, with no need for a break in between. They are just two expressions of the one body, neither more taxing than another. It is a new way to dance, that’s for sure.
Wow, I can feel the joy of you expressing in your dancing Angela! The coming back to you and expressing from that place. Only today I was dancing in my kitchen and could feel my body moving in a freer way, I could feel I was far more connected to myself and expressing from that deeper connection. It felt AWESOME! This too has been supported by the Benhayon family. Rock on…
I have found the same Angela, I preferred to hide out than be out there on the dance floor, with loud music and people everywhere – all a bit overwhelming… but i have rediscovered the joy of dancing in connection to myself and in celebration with others – a whole different ball-game. It has become something joyful and fun rather than the ordeal of old..
Just like you Angela I too have felt the self consciousness and awkwardness in the way that I move not only on an actual dance floor but symbolically on the dance floor of life. Why is there such a pressure for us to dance and live with perfection when we are inherently imperfect human beings?? You’ve inspired me to realise that as we all step out and dance though our lives that each of our own natural qualities of expression are definitely worth valuing and celebrating everyday both in me and in all others.
I have always loved dancing but I must admit that when I first started doing True Movement it felt very odd. I had not connected to myself and moving with “dance moves” in that way before. It is flowing more naturally now and I so enjoy it and it can still be a great marker for me as to what’s going on in my body at a level that I was not aware of.
Angela – I share your experience completely.
I was confined by the belief I had 2 left feet and would save dancing to the confines of my bedroom or my mind. Never in public. I really held myself as someone with no rhythm or grace in my movement. But as I have started to join in on true movement thanks to Universal Medicine and Natalie Benhayon, it is as if I have unlocked my hips and my spine, my neck and my limbs. Dancing is then not something I think about to get the moves right, but a natural flow and expression. It is an amazing step forward from how I used to think.
I find when I am dancing with thoughts I get recognition creeping in. When I dance with my body, connecting to the music my body moves in a way that flows and expresses joy.
Very cool Angela. I think that ability to be free in your dancing without worrying about what you look like and without the raciness, is an experience well worth looking out for. I must try to make it one year
It is really lovely to read how you talk about dancing, just as it is gorgeous to be in a crowd of people who dance at these events… enjoying every movement they make that appears to simply flow from them celebrating being truly connected to, and enjoying, who they are rather than what they look like.
It was lovely to read your blog Angela, it reminded me of my dancing before True Movement and how fixed and stiff I was, yet at the time I thought I was moving quite well. The more I am aware of my body and how it moves the more I am able to see what I need to change and with the help of exercise and true movement I am beginning to move with more suppleness and gentleness.
The Universal Medicine end of year celebrations are a true celebration of who we truly are. The music and the True Movement allows you to feel who you are and to celebrate this with everyone around you.
Angela – thank you for your sharing! It has allowed me to reflect on how much my dancing has changed from the same awkwardness that you too talked about and experienced to what I feel now is a far more natural way of moving and having fun! It is actually quite amazing to feel how much more relaxed I am these days busting some moves, and how much more fun I have with it too. No more putting pressure on myself to perform in some way or worrying about how I look to others, or feeling inadequate with how I move etc etc. Today there is just the simplicity and the letting go and the having fun.
I love what you’ve shared Henrietta, I can relate to it. I have recently discovered what it feels like to dance deeply connected to my body. When I choose this, I find I have no thoughts, my entire focus is on my body, feeling the exquisiteness in every move, feeling the flow and love emanating out from within and feeling it all around me. We can all connect to this at any moment at any time.
I hadn’t considered dance in this way before Angela, but what you share shows that when we dance for ourselves – not to impress or to appear a certain way – it feels like we open up to truly celebrating who we are and that feels amazing. Dance then becomes a celebration of the choices we make and that feels so beautifully confirming.
As well as you, Angela, I’ve never been a dancer as such. I loved dancing though and took some classes of classical dance. Most of all I enjoyed dancing circle dances-all the movements are taught and we are dancing together the same dance. Maybe it was reminding me of brotherhood and doing things together as a community – in joy.
Then I get to do true movement. It was total celebration for my body. It loved it! The movements were simple yet meaningful and every cell in my body was saying yes to that.
The combination of Glorious Music, movements, dancing together in unison and being individuals without competition and comparison just expressing ourselves felt awesome.
I love True Movement and Universal Medicine celebrations as well as dancing with myself in the park or at home. Thank you, Serge, Natalie, Michael, Miranda, Curtis,and Emmalee Benhayon for introducing it to us all.
When we have the connection to our body, then everything we do, including dancing, feels more flowing and natural, and without the need to force anything.
Thanks Angela. Dancing as I remember it to be feels so empty and held none of ‘me’ in it. Copying moves, wanting to look good, look desirable, cool, to be someone I wasn’t or releasing pent-up emotions. There is nothing about who I feel I am in my body today that could even consider ‘doing’ one of those moves ever again, actually to even write it brings pain to my body. Thank for providing another opportunity through this blog for me to feel the new and true marker I have set and am living today.
Dancing Queen Angela thanks for expressing so honest about your experience with dancing. For me dancing was the only way to express and so I find it very interesting to read how it was for you – a person who find it not so easy to dance. With your amazing blog I got a deeper understanding about this fact – wunderbar.
Brilliantly expressed Angela. When we are in connection with ourselves, everything reflects the true joy and love we then feel. It then radiates that to everyone else. If everyone around us does that too, wow think of the power in that?
When we allow our love to radiate out, it feels amazing. We are all connected and we can feel everything around us, so when we choose to express our power and our love it touches everyone.
Thank you Angela for expressing how amazing it is to dance in connection to yourself within a group of people all doing the same. For me this was initially very exposing of how disconnected I had been, but as my connection has grown the joy I feel from expressing through my body and dancing has been deeply confirming of my growing awareness of what it means to be truly connected.
Moving my body in True movement, Sacred Movement, or whilst I am dancing and singing along with Glorious Music is so different to the way I have learnt to move in the past. I always loved dancing and moving as a child but it was changed as I grew up and became self-conscious. It has been so gorgeous to have the joy and freedom of movement return again and to feel me in my movements.
Was great to read Angela. I love dancing and have experienced many of the things you have shared…including the dancing to be on display. I found after these times my body was sore and achy.. there’s a huge difference when I’m just dancing for me and enjoying it- I don’t get sore and I’m not exhausted afterwards. It so much fun to just enjoy the movements and It’s great to be able to let go and feel my body move without constricting it to what I think it should be like.
Awesome blog Angela, I have been to a few of the end of year celebrations at Universal Medicine. I loved it, each experience was the same, celebrating with everyone with joy, vitality and love. It was truly amazing. Like you said at the end of the night when it was time to go home I was still feeling the same, joyfulness. Because I was being myself throughout the entire celebration, connected to who I am and connected to everyone. I had experienced true celebration, everyone was connected and beaming with love.
Dancing has always been such an exposing thing for me. The lack of confidence, a need for recognition, not being able to truly connect with another, feeling awkward in my body, not wanting to be looked at/wanting to be looked at, how I see myself in the world… it was all there and I couldn’t hide or ignore. I feel there’s a lot in the way we move our body through dancing – for us each to feel for ourselves, and to express and communicate to the world.
Wow Angela, what you are describing is amazing! I have always felt awkward dancing and still don’t overly enjoy it, but I am gradually learning to express myself naturally through movement thanks to my experiences over time at Universal Medicine events.
I love how you said how you still felt as amazing at the end of the dancing and celebration as you did during the whole day. What I have found with other concerts and dances that I have been to is that I didn’t want them to end and I felt sad and disappointed that they did. I realise I was using these events to check out or to use these events to feel good about myself rather than what you have shared, that the celebrations are just a natural extension to the joy we feel when we celebrate who we are with everyone – equally, for which we could never be let down.
Great comment Jennifer, I can totally relate to everything you’ve shared. I have experienced this so many times, the feeling of not wanting the night to end or feeling disappointed. I never realised it was because I used going out and having fun as a form checking out, to disconnect from myself. Where as going out or celebrating with the natural joy that was already within me, I am able to fully be present and leave in the same energy…..Joyfulness.
I love how you talk about the dancing Angela. Like you, I have often wished I had ‘the moves’, but I have felt quite stiff and uncoordinated. I now realise the stiffness was all to do with how I held my body, a feeling of holding back. With True Movement it’s just about expressing me in movement. The joy I feel in this movement is very special, like being hugged very tenderly by me, in my body.
I can very much relate to what is being said here especially the ‘showing off’. I thought I was a ‘good’ dancer until I was introduced to Universal Medicine and realized that I had been dancing coming from a need, a need for attention and to be recognized – this was certainly not ‘good’ dancing! Thanks to True Movement, I am now learning to be with me and my body as I dance.
I can relate to your comment Caroline. I have also done the same. When I catch the thoughts of recognition creeping in I am able to arrest them and readjust my body to reconnect to who I am. I have only been aware of this way of my expression since attending events at Universal Medicine. I was unaware of how harmful those thoughts of recognition and comparison were.
I don’t think I ever managed to be ‘good’ at dancing Caroline. I was energetic, it was a way of letting emotions out, but the moves never had the body and head on the same page – I love that phrase of Angela’s, thats just how it used to feel . I recently attended an amazing Universal medicine event in the UK, it was great to see people dancing their own moves, with themselves, but also with with the rest of the room all bodies and heads joined in the sheer fun and joy of the dance, and be one with them,. all on the same page.
I can very much relate to what you are sharing here. I always felt kind of awkward dancing and never really seemed to get the right moves and was particularly bad in staying with the rhythm while dancing… until I came across Universal Medicine and was introduced to True Movement. Here I had the opportunity to simply feel my body and move to my body’s expression, not having to worry of getting the moves right, and I have started to really enjoy dancing and am very much agreeing with you what a joy it is to just be among people enjoying and celebrating themselves without any outer need of stimulation.
Whilst I wasn’t at that particular celebration, I have been to others and I can say that I have absolutely felt a lack of judgement, comparison and competition from others at these events.
It feels so amazing not having the added imposition of feeling watched and judged as is often the case in so many situations.
It confirms that we don’t need to live in a way that is about protection of self. There is absolutely another way and it’s absolutely doable, liveable and achievable!
The connection to the body is everything when it comes to moving – the way we walk, every move we make and definitely in the way we dance! I have danced all my life, but also enhanced by a few drinks, and I don’t ever remember feeling really connected to myself after a night out of dancing. At the celebration I also attended, I did stay connected to me, to my body and I moved in the rhythm that felt right for me. It is liberating and wonderful to be amongst many many others who are also honouring their connection to their own bodies, but having the hugest amount of fun while at it. I left feeling as wonderful as when I arrived, not drained, not elated, just myself.
Exactly Jo! The point being “I left feeling as wonderful as when I arrived, not drained, not elated, just myself.” That’s all we need to be, ‘whatever’ we are doing… Just ourselves!
Thank you Angela and Jo, I agree, after attending many of these dances, it has become easier to hold myself, and not get lost, drained or elated, which then has become how I sleep, and the reflection I take into the day.
Yes I agree Angela. Everything we do, even dancing when done in connection with me feels wonderful and right. Even after the event is over.