by Joel L
The thing I have found confronting at times to accept and take responsibility for, is that there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.
I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times. In my relationship, we are both committed to our own ‘way of the livingness’, but even then we can still react when the other finds something that used to feel okay, no longer feels like it supports them.
This is not a Universal Medicine phenomenon, but rather something most relationships experience… as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules, at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.
After seventeen years of marriage and about eight years applying what Universal Medicine presents, there is no doubt our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be. There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.
I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?
That would be a list worth seeing!
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
What a gorgeous testimony to what Universal Medicine presents, and the choices you have been making, ‘There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.’
“there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart” True of all relationships. Universal Medicine has inspired a deepening relationship with God.
“… there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience. I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.” This level of awareness of our responsibility to ourselves and others via the choices we make is such a great foundation for life. It’s also very self empowering and takes the blame away that we can place onto others.
Truth can be painful to feel at times but it is not criticizing or attacking, it is just saying ‘Hey, look, there’s more’ and it is entirely up to us whether we go for the more, or stay within the domain of the familiar comfort.
We are constantly choosing and everything we choose has an impact around us, this is undeniable. We are not static, so neither can our relationships be. In the ongoing movement we keep choosing, and as we are individuals before any relationship we have, obviously there can be differences between those choices we make whilst we walk together. This doesn’t have to be a problem when honesty and love are the foundation we commit to within our relationship, but a beautiful opportunity of growing and deepening in what unites us… again, if we choose it.
Life is full of opportunities for making choices that affect our lives, and those around us, ‘at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.’
One way I perceive what is happening in our current world is ‘designed changes that suit a love-less relationship’…. and when you understand the Truth about how we can respond in the most natural loving way, life is turned on its head and we end up in a working relationship that is super supportive.
So True Joel, any perceived ideals about how a relationship should be, places pressure on us and we then call in an energy that is going to tell us we are right, and the reality is right-ness is like loading a gun and placing it at your own head, it will eventually backfire but the Truth from an energetic perspective leaves us open to expressing so we can evolve together.
The way in which my partner holds me and I hold her back is more than gorgeous. This love has only ever deepened and expanded since we both have come to our own understanding of what love truly means since awakening to what it really feels like in our body through Universal Medicine courses.
There are two types of relationships, those that me make by arrangement so as not to ask each other to be more, and those that are based on love where we move from honesty to truth, and in that we support one another to never settle for less than who we are which is constantly evolving.
Regardless of Universal Medicine any relationship be it family, friends or partners have this choice ‘at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.’ it is just what do we choose and more importantly how is our relationship with ourselves as this is where it starts. If we have self loathing, resentment, are miserable etc obviously this is going to affect our relationships. Personally for me from being a student of Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness (which is never ending) I have so much more love for myself which in turn means I have so much more love for other people and it is really lovely to see how all of my relationships have blossomed from this.
So true Vicky, the Love we allow in and through our bodies changes everything about every relationship.
I can add that all my relationships now have more love in them, this is because I have first taken care of loving myself, and as I build that connection to the love in me and live from that I find I have more love to share with those around me.
In my experience the more true love I have for myself, the easier it is to naturally love other people.
In the short time my partner and I have been together we have both seen the foul character you speak of, aka the spirit within, come out in the wrath of its ugly, cunning, irresponsible ways. It is clear to both of us that a true relationship is a relationship based indeed on true love and we do not flippantly say this now knowing that true love only ever comes from surrendering to your Soul.
“taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.“
It can be a challenge if there are beliefs that we owe it to another to be something for them or any other number of beliefs. But since applying Universal Medicine’s teachings to my life ALL my relationships have deepened in their levels of decency, respect, genuine care and want to connect to others.
There comes a time where the arrangements we accept in place of a true and loving relationship can no longer fill the gap and the aching pain we create for ourselves by living void of such love.
You can add my relationship with my soon-to-be husband to your list of those that have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them Joel. My partner and I have been together for 13 years and had two children in that time. We both always swore we were never going to get married, my partner felt it wasn’t really necessary and I was in a lot of reaction to the marriages of comfort and convenience I have observed in my life and decided that such a stifling arrangement was not for me. The problem here being that instead of choosing to commit to life and reflect a true way to live that can help deconstruct the ideals and beliefs we carry, I instead judged others for the choices they made and then used this to not commit to life and love. Thanks to the teaching of Universal Medicine and the incredible support and guidance we have both received in the last 7 years from various practitioners and friends during this time, we have now come to a place where we realise that the love we have connected to and share between us is not only for us but for the many and this is something to be appreciated and celebrated with all.
It’s a great observation Liane that we often react to the lovelessness in relationships by withdrawing our commitment to love, when instead we can use such reflections to activate purpose and live love truly with others to set the model, and to offer inspiration to others through our own lives.
That is one of the most beautiful qualities about our relationships with others – there is always an opportunity to grow and deepen the relationship to a new level.
One of the things that has helped my marriage has been for us both to learn how to speak up. To say what we are feeling without the other going into reaction. This is something that has developed over time due to attending the Universal Medicine courses and is ongoing and is continuingly unfolding. Yes, it is enormously confronting at times, but it does give us both the opportunity to express ourselves and to dispel any pictures we are hanging onto.
Joel Levin this is gold. Simple, beautiful and heartfelt.
Something natural about being in a true relationship brings us both to a place so we are sharing more Love than what I would have ever considered possible.
And sometimes the growing together can feel as though you are not growing! – How we can set or have expectations of what growth can look like!
And I feel this applies just as much in any form of relationship, be it partner relationship but also friendship relations as they are also growing and expanding.
Yes Matts, very true, relationships with friends and family members as well as our partners we find ourselves in are growing and expanding too. It is very beautiful to observe and appreciate the changes whatever those changes are that are taking place within our relationships.
I had the privilege of attending a wedding yesterday of two The Way of The Livingness students and it was one of the most beautiful weddings I have been to and felt. The deep love was clearly felt and the commitment to allow the love to forever unfold and deepen. It was truly exquisite.
In every relationship there is a choice to grow together or apart and that is a choice to evolve together or not.
Our choices affect every aspect of our lives, ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’
I am definitely on that list. I was in a relationship where I chose to grow. This set a constantly changing new standard. The relationship was true love and very spectacular. What was missing though, and the greatest healing, was to accept and embody how amazing it was in me. To own that love in my body. The love was grand but it is the necessary glue of life to appreciate that the love comes from a greater source and can be felt and held within the human frame.
The wish that something has to deliver for us all the time in the same way is a vain attempt to control life. Although it may satisfy, temporarily, our wishes to have things under our own spin, it fights the more that life may bring us. So, it is a bit like setting our own measure of how we accept from life first and under what conditions and once the contract is signed, you live by it.
Elizabeth on reflection this is also true for me and something to deeply appreciate in just how much Universal Medicine have supported and helped me in building a true foundation with regards to a relationship with myself and all others. These basic principals should be taught in all schools then no extra work would have to be done to support children and young people with lack of self-love, self-care, self-worth, self-esteem and true body confidence because they would not be lacking in any of this; instead they would be able to claim who they truly are with purpose and confidence.
When so many vile lies are publicly being spread with regards to Universal Medicine including how ‘they’ have been the cause of relationship break-ups it is both refreshing and needed to hear the truth. Also how irresponsible it is to blame an organisation, or indeed anyone else other than those in the relationship, for a breaking up a relationship! Ultimately a relationship is about the 2 people involved, their is no escaping this and their communication, intimacy and choices made with regards to both themselves and the other/each other. In truth we can never look on the outside to blame anyone BUT we can look at ourselves and take responsibility for the life we have lived, the path we have walked and the choices we have made including those with our relationships.
What you bring in this blog here Joel is that if we are committed to bringing more of the love that we are to relationships, we do not need to rely or strive to keep our relationships fresh and alive. They would all just deepen in the levels of respect and beholding of another.
That is so true Jenny, how many couples seek stimulation and new activities to either try to mend their relationship or spark the love they think they’ve lost. We only have to be honest and express what we feel and know that the love from where we deepen our relationship is there inside us, no outside influence needed.
“There is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience” – in reading this, I can feel how my mind just wants to jump in to figure out the ‘right’ answer for every moment, and how that leaves very little space for love and joy.
In most relationships, we often play the blame/guilt card and find a way to manage to keep the arrangement that serves each part mutually. What Universal Medicine is presenting is a possibility for us to take it to a deeper level – if we each so choose.
It can seem scary when relationships face change because one person is growing, but it’s truly delightful when the choice is made to grow together. Love in it’s true sense takes many forms we may not consider “love”, and to me one is to evolve and grow together. It can seem loving for things to stay the same so no one is disturbed, but is this love or comfort? I am realising more and more how evolution is a constant cycle of growth or expansion, and I have learnt how to allow the changes that come with that to be in my relationship, and at times it is scary but overall it’s been a very positive experience. Thanks to Universal Medicine I definitely have more love in every relationship now as it’s been my choice to grow. Some friendships have said “no” and others have said “yes” to the growth, and that has been challenging at times but ultimately all I can be responsible for is my own “yes” to love and evolution.
Making our relation-ship about Love, which is “applying what Universal Medicine presents,” has changed everything about the way I see and interact with people. My whole thought process is now see-correcting/feeling to bring a unifying energy to the best of my ability and not in a weak way but in sharing with others to empower what is True.
You can add my husband and me to the list also, as things have and are changing all the time. It’s no longer mundane, and there is a lot more fun and playfulness between us.
Yes Julie and there are so many more relationships improving – just simply by becoming aware & with tools of reconnection to how you can live your truth and love which improves all relationship.
Since applying what Universal Medicine presents my relationship with myself has deepened on so many levels and as a result, so has all my other relationships.
Me and my sister started an experiment/month ‘challenge’ in February to deepen the quality of dinner times by changing the way we approach our meal at the end of the day. How incredible would it be to commit to a challenge, even just for a week, to deepening the love in our relationships in EVERY interaction? No reactions allowed.
Without the deep and loving understanding and support presented by Universal Medicine for what relationship is all about and what is required to develop the full potential in relationship, I would either have given up on it or settled for the very reduced and mostly hurtful version I have known before and is the very accepted and thus normal version in society.
That is very true Alexander, Universal Medicine has provided many amazing reflections for true relationships which has changed the marker for what’s possible for many people.
All I know is that Universal Medicine has been the best tonic for my marriage and after 18 years the intimacy is still deepening, as is the playfulness and love. When we focus on taking responsibility for and healing our hurts, it paves the way for genuine respect and integrity to be resurrected, bringing with it a whole new level of discovery and joy.
When we bring the principles of integrity, responsibility, lightness, purpose and genuine love to our relationships they are naturally successful on every level. These principles are what Universal Medicine presents and when lived our relationships deepen beyond what we could ever imagine.
I can add my marriage to the list. My wife and I have now been together for twenty years and I doubt if we would still be together if not for Universal Medicine. Through the loving support of what Universal Medicine presents we have been able to heal our unresolved hurts that had made it so difficult and painful at times to be together.
After 30 years of being together, I agree with what you have shared Jonathan, our relationship just keeps on improving. It is amazing how much we have changed, and applying the Universal Medicine model is breath taking, which also then flows to all our relationships.
Thank you for your comment, I realised as I read your words that as we clear the hurts out of our own body they are no longer there influencing the space between ourselves and everyone we interact with. As we clear our hurts we are more able to feel and connect to the essence of love we are within, and allow our love to be there in all of our relationships.
Yes, beautifully expressed Melinda. As one heals the hurts there is no longer the need for the protection and defence patterns we develop to stop us feeling the hurt. The irony is they may stop us feeling hurt, yet in doing so, they also stop us feeling love. As you say, heal the hurts and then we can feel love and be the love we are.
Your opening sentence says it all Joel and is exactly what I also realised was coming between me and the life I longed to live. Since embracing responsibility in my life and for the life I am living, every aspect of my life has enriched beyond measure. Although it felt challenging at first, as it certainly is eye opening observing what we settle for, ultimately it has been empowering very step of the way, to bring awareness to what it is I am saying ‘yes’ to.
Amazing Carola, I love what you’ve shared. I too am beginning to see and be more aware of the things I have said yes to. With this awareness I can feel how some choices in the past were not loving but being open to see this means I am more able to correct these choices, heal and move on from them. Having greater awareness is certainly empowering.
For me the length of a marriage is not a success but the quality and individual growth that each person experiences and chose during the time of the marriage. And even if that means that these two people separate because the evolution asks for a change. That is true success in a marriage, as love does not ask if you wear a ring or not. It is, no matter what kind of relation you have with someone.
Saying Yes to yourself and walking the path of surrendering to your essence is the best relationship advice you can give to someone. It has nothing to do with the other, why you feel or how you feel. It always comes back to your own choices of moving on and expanding, or staying stuck and wanting to have problems.
Spot on Stefanie.
I experience a constant lifting up exchange within my relationship with my partner. That is the true purpose of a relationship in my eyes. We are constellated because we are perfectly designed to support the other to come back to the grandness of who they truly are, why waste time in your own evolution and go for less and comfort in a relationship?
Thank you Stefanie for your words about why you are with your partner “because we are perfectly designed to support the other to come back to the grandness of who they truly are.” The true purpose of relationships!
There have been many times when my partner has shared how a certain behaviour I tend to go to is no longer feeling right for our relationship, and I could feel how I did not want to believe this or look into it deeper as it basically challenged my comfortable way of living together. But when I have allowed myself to get honest and really feel if this was true for us and then deal with what lead to the behaviour in the first place, we have grown together and connected more deeply than before. This exchange has worked both ways, even though it can at first be a bumpy ride when we are resisting the responsibility that comes with stepping up our level of love.
It is interesting this choice to grow apart or together depending on whether we have committed to ourselves and lives first.
The inspiration of how our relationships change when we deepen our relationship with ourselves, getting to know and appreciate our qualities and being prepared to explore and work on the hurts we carry that trigger reactions and protection.
It is so true Matilda, that when we deepen a loving relationship with ourselves, this quality of love enriches and touches every aspect of our lives with greater truth and honesty.
Absolutely Joel, the responsibility of the choices we make in each moment. And not that this is a burden or critique on oneself, but a loving way of seeing how our actions affect others. The first responsibility comes with our relationship with our bodies.
Wanting someone else to supply the joy and to fill us up with love is pointless because we are the only ones that can do that for ourselves. The other person in the relationship only feels our neediness and demands on them. It is then an amazing opportunity and gift when the other person doesn’t play into it and holds them in the knowing that they are complete as is.
When we inspire each other in the way we live, our relationships naturally deepen as we confirm who we truly are.
“I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.” Great point Joel I can see that I can look for others when things are not going well and I am not feeling joyful myself, which is not only imposing it does not support a relationship to grow.
Thank you Joel for sharing your experience with growing in your relationship. I have to admit that in my relationship with my husband there is an expansion as well. I am sure that without meeting Serge Benhayon our marriage would not have that depth, intimacy, trust, joy, understanding, freshness, playfulness and supporting the other in being more themselves!
It is through the teachings of Universal Medicine that I have come to understand, that the most important relationship that I have is with my own evolution, as the more I say yes to the volume of what is there to come through me the more joy and true intimacy there is in all my relationships.
So true Joel. What you present brings it back to this question – do we really want other people to heal and be the grandness they naturally are? Or do we prefer to keep ahead of the crowd in an endless race to compete for who is the best? The second option is not really an option at all but a sure fire path to living in misery, isolation, self-doubt and pain. It’s time we finally saw that there’s no space for self in this world.
Being open to develop and grow alongside someone in a relationship can be both exposing and very inspiring. Opting for comfy and familiar or being prepared to unfold and change? This can also be applied to our relationship with ourselves and I am opting for option 2!
Allowing another to be who they truly are is the only way that relationships can thrive and evolve and we cannot do this if we are not being true to ourselves. The Way of The Livingness supports us in every way to live true to ourselves and therefore enhances our relationships in every way
Joy never expires! So it is up to us how much credit we give it. Simple, just like The Way of The Livingness. Thank you for writing this blog , that carries a truly profound message.
It is through living The Way of The Livingness, that we understand that it is our responsibility to develop and commit to our relationship with self first, as it is from this foundation that we can reflect our truth, our sexiness and wisdom to others to be inspired and be more of who they truly are. True medicine!
It is natural in my eyes for us to unfold and change our ways as we evolve or perhaps dig our heels in and go the other way and so it’s not helpful to label relationships as ‘failures’ just because a couple have split up or divorced because that may have been the best thing for both of them at the time…
It seems that we all know about relationships and naturally have a a knowing about what is true and what is not.
Beautifully said Joel, your own experience speaks volumes about what it means to reconnect, through 17 years of marriage, to make it about love and deeply aligning to purpose and love, very inspiring.
Seventeen years of marriage and you only feel like you are at the beginning .. I will definitely take advice from you 😄
This is the case in friendships as well ..or any relationship if tension is felt but not expressed and honestly communicated with the other. It is very much a learning process for both.
Before Universal Medicine I was fumbling with what I thought a marriage was supposed to be. It made no difference where I was in all of this, I was in it and that was that, expecting the other to change to make it a happier marriage.
Since 2014 I started to make some changes within myself, who I had become was no longer who I really was meant to be. As I unfolded my relationship with my partner unfolded, we were truly discovering each other. At times it hasn’t been plain sailing but that’s ok too, and I feel there is more to come and what strikes me is not only the choices but the responsibilities within these choices – that has been a biggie and awakening for me.
Having a choice of being together or apart. There is a beautiful freedom in this, a freedom to choose your own path.
This is really great Joel, I know that it can feel at times like there are more issues that can arise, but actually they are growing pains that can present, that tension of when one person is developing in themselves and the other feels that, there can be a tension. It is in being able to bring absolute appreciation to each other, who we are and lovingly nominate what is presenting, getting support, reaching out to resources, or taking the responsibility to book a session with a practitioner if that is what is needed also to help heal old hurts. All these things can support the unfolding of a deeper and more loving relationship.
I have experienced the very same as you Joel, and how gorgeous it is to experience when the other decides to grow with you.
Joel, this is beautiful that you are taking responsibility for how you are with yourself and in your relationships and that there is no blame or expectations from the other person to make you happy, this is gold; ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’
When we start to truly see and value what is being shared – we will truly know that we lead by example (living) and not by any mindful strategy,
In a new relationship and having said ‘yes’ to this, I am touched and inspired by the opportunity to re-write history and commit openly to do whatever it takes to keep games and complication out. Always supported by the teachings of Universal Medicine.
Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have shown me how every action I take has an impact not only on myself but of others too, and this has brought more awareness and responsibility to my life, to make more loving choices, and appreciate myself and others equally which builds far deeper relationships than I have ever experienced in the past.
If my relationship with my husband would not have been improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to both of us – our marriage would be dead. We only would have an arrangement and would not allow each other to grow and that would mean we would stand still. For me this would be a bit boring for the rest of our marriage.
Relationships are an amazing thing but why are they the thing that cause us the most pain as well? Since hearing the teachings of Universal Medicine I came to understand that the first relationship is the one we have with self and our Soul, and then we bring this to others it is called true relationship – which is a big learning 👍🏻😘
I have been married to Christoph since 1993 and attending Universal Medicine since 2004. Our relationship has improved out of sight in the last years. The support and understanding we have received from Universal Medicine has been an absolute blessing and our love just seems to keep on and on growing and expanding. This is quite a miracle because already it blew my socks off a few years ago and there seems to be no limit. Now we share so much love with each other it overflows such that we have become elders in the community and are able to offer that support to many others too.
I would not know how to be in a true relationship without the deeply loving and enlightening presentations of Universal Medicine. There is nothing in societal life that has ever shown me or anyone I have met in 50 years, or anything I have read or seen that has proven by lived experience otherwise; without the ageless wisdom we have lost the way of true relationship, love and purpose – and we know it – but without some reflection or a reminder or role model it is hard to reconnect and trust the inner knowing and bring it to life.
Joel what you share here is full of wisdom, as I have also felt how my relationships evolve as they become deeper, and there is a greater respect and honouring between friends, family and colleagues, and certain things that were once acceptable no longer are, it is beautiful to feel these relationships move to a deeper level.
Spot on Joel, I have also been inspired and supported by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to deepen the relationship with myself, this has allowed the space for all my relationships to deepen and become more true, this has been life changing on many levels.
Serge Benhayon and the presentations of Universal Medicine have inspired me to develop a true and loving relationship with myself and this now extends to my relationship with my family and everyone I meet.
I agree Joel. How cool would it be if we heard more positive stories about marriage and less of the typical jokes and digs most couples tend to rely on to get through. It’s outrageous how often I hear a woman make a snide remark about the man in her life or vice versa the man rolling their eyes about their wife and how he better do what she says because ‘happy wife, happy life’. It’s actually disgusting that that’s what we choose to accept. In saying that I find it happens far less in same sex couples which is interesting.
Great point Elodie, it’s so important for us to call out when we hear anyone speak of another in a derogatory manner, this allows the space for another to feel the harm that this type of behaviour can bring to a relationship and to themselves when we speak less of anyone.
My joy is my choice and that is what I commit to living. When we are in a relationship, the I becomes the we and ultimately the all of us, it is teamwork, but the principle is the same–our joy is our choice. Choose love and joy and nothing but that, when this becomes the focus, everything is much simpler.
I love the simplicity and insight offered here. Are we prepared to grow together and be inspired by one another in our relationships, or are we resistant and a bit defensive of our corner? We are all always changing and any relationship can evolve or devolve, our choice.
Since attending the presentations and applying the principles of the Ageless Wisdom my relationship with all others and myself has changed enormously. It has allowed me to go deeper with people and really enjoy all of my relationships.
I love the simplicity and profoundness of this blog: if we deepen our relationship with our self, take responsibility for our choices and be more loving and caring of ourselves then our relationship with others will change.
Amazing how a true relationship is nothing like what is sold in movies or television shows, it involves evolution for self and all and no attachment – wow a relationship with no investments?
What I have come to learn is that we can either be ourselves in relationships and allow them to unfold in their natural way, be that growing closer or together, or we can suffer on the inside and cling onto relationships that are damaging because they do not support us to be ourselves…
Universal Medicine has supported me to be a more open and honest in all my relationships.
A relationship is all about changes, about two individuals inspiring each other to be more through a constant reflection when they meet. The subject matter is of course infinite… it can be how to clean a bathroom to presenting in front of 100 people, to eating dinner together. The idea is that the relationship supports the evolution of both people in the relationship and also those around them. And this is not just intimate relationships but all of them…
It is so beautiful to see a relationship where there is no comparison, just the willingness for 2 people to inspire each other to be more, always supporting each other and loving the reflection they receive from the other.
Until I came across Universal Medicine and seeing the relationships people had with their partners that were based on constantly growing together and supporting one another. Previously I only saw couple’s issues get in the way and eat them up – this ended in separations or bitter/disappointed relationships whereby people’s initial love for one another faded. How amazing to read that ‘I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ Great for me to realise I do not have to limit my relationships by my old beliefs of them depreciating as the years roll on.
There are many connections between things (actions, choices) that have consequences for us (good or bad). Often times, we are not aware of them. Yet, the moment you start opening your eyes and realising that by-and-large A leads to B and C to D, you are free to free yourself from B and D if so you wish.
Thank you Joel, studying with Universal Medicine and using their therapies regularly as a support has brought about immense positive changes in all of my relationships. This is because I am taking responsibility to heal the hurts I have that can create issues between myself and others. The hurts of past experiences can easily be dragged into other interactions and can create perceptions and get in the way of allowing a true connection. Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health have both supported me to also develop a much better and more loving and caring relationship with myself, which I feel is the foundation for my relationships to others.
Individuals choosing to be more open, honest, loving, caring, responsible, vital and having this as the foundation of the relationship. What is there not to love?
Joel, I agree with this; ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’ More and more I see that how I choose to live affects how I feel; from what time I choose to go to bed, to how much I choose to eat and how I move my body, these things all directly affect how I feel.
Taking responsibility for our own choices also takes a lot of pressure off relationships, especially the one we have with “The one” – the person who is supposed to bring love into our lives as a romantic partner, when we ourselves are in fact our own source of love.
Yes there is no one else responsible if we don’t feel good and it is also the other way around of course, when we feel joyful we also have to see how we got to that place and appreciate ourselves.
As our relationship changes within our selves through being responsible and bringing more self love, the way we have lived changes and this then offers to our partner the opportunity to change so the relationship is continually being deepened with more love and appreciation.
Whilst not in an intimate relationship, all of my relationships have dramatically improved since I have been a student of Universal Medicine. When you choose responsibility it becomes very challenging to blame others and blame is common to many relationships.
I know so many couples that have got together under the inspiration of Serge Benhayon. Serge knows how to do relationships really well and though seeing him and Miranda together many are inspired to live this love, a love that is super delicate, tender and harmonious.
I know without doubt that my own relationship with my husband has been hugely improved just by knowing Serge and Miranda.
Since taking responsibility for how I feel instead of relying or blaming others for feeling loved or not loved has changed everything for me. I no longer seek love from others but choose to take responsibility for loving myself and building on deepening my quality of livingness. As a result my relationship with my family, friends and people I meet are more open, more connected and means more space for true love to develop and expand.
It is a beautiful thing to see and appreciate, the commitment to love is for us to deepen this in every relationship. It is the beauty of love that it constantly asks us to develop this deepening every step of the way, If we so choose.
It is an incredible thing to feel how strong I feel i am becoming because I what we choose to allow in our relationship.
‘I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.’ It can indeed as I have found out and this is where being fully open and willing to say yes to love no matter comes in. Sure we may be in a relationship with another but it is up to each of us to consistently choose love and then bring that to the other not demand it from them or rely on them for it – after all it is an equal partnership.
That is the beautiful thing about embracing responsibility and the opportunities to grow together, that it does continually feel like it is just the beginning, as we are continually deepening our relationship with love, and developing new foundations through which we bring more of who we are to share with each other. No room for stagnation, when there is a continual willingness to explore how we can bring more of who we are to life and inspire each other to evolve.
Beautiful Carola, the key is our willingness to be who we are, allowing ourselves and others space to expand without expectations, jealousy or comparison.
Beautifully put into word Carola! In my relationship it always feels like a beginning, since we have chosen individually to expand and bring this expansion as a result to each other/ to the relationship. My partner and I are a living proof, that this can change everything around that kept you stuck and let you always cycle around in the same issues. Not making it about the other person but your own evolution, your expansion will offer the other a lift to align.
It is interesting to see that we always have a choice, to say yes to what is presented to us or not. And the most important aspect in this is that it is only about us and never can we blame another for that which they offer.
Working with Universal Medicine has totally changed my relationship with myself and therefore, guess what… changed my relationships with everyone else. Since it is me that I take to all my relationships, taking care here is a responsibility I now willingly embrace.
Since I met Universal Medicine and the support of its teaching, I am actually able again to be in a relationship with another! It opened my eyes about my relationship to myself and how I avoided intimacy my whole life. Say YES to me, changed my whole life into a YES to others – expressing the love that I am, by being visible and transparent towards them and letting in, what gets reflected and expressed towards me. That is pure joy .
When we change the relationship we have with ourselves then the relationship we have with all others naturally changes as well. As we commit to bringing more love and care to ourselves this changes what we will accept in our other relationships and hence all our relationships have an opportunity to change and grow. This is beautiful and deeply supportive for all.
Beautifully put Elizabeth – starts with how we treat ourselves, and then quite naturally starts to affect all our relationships. That is how love starts, and then grows exponentially.
It feels like a simple math to me – the more love gets brought in, the more love comes out. And it can look all different. Choosing to grow apart is far more loving than sticking to an arrangement just because we think that’s what a ‘successful’ relationship should look like.
Well said Fumiyo and I am also realising that though it may be simple math that what you put in is what comes out the trick to this equation is to not have any attachments or conditions of how all that love looks like – for love is simply love.
When we consider relationships we may automatically go to our family, friends and intimate partners. We may not consider those apparently fleeting moments with another that we may never see again. Or those who work in local shops that we see briefly once a week. But they are all opportunities to deepen our relationships with others and of course ourselves. We see all of our choices through the refection of those we meet, even in the minutest of passings. Everything in life in about relationship and the beauty that this offers us over the course of our live is really incredible.
In relationships much communication is continuously needed. If there is a commitment to deepening the love, communication supports the way that now can be enjoined together. It’s beautifully pulling each other up to the more love that is being felt and now known.
Joel, this is very beautiful; ‘our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be. There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ From what I see around me in society this is not the ‘norm’, I see relationships where couples often grow apart rather than grow closer and often there is little evolution, relationships can often feel stuck. Changing and evolving is a very beautiful, natural thing and yet we have this idea in society that in relationships this is not a good thing. Lovely to read your article, thank you.
‘ I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ How gorgeous it this? Such a testimony to how we can support one another to evolve. No getting bored or things becoming tired but a constant unfolding of who we are.
The amazingness of knowing the growth and expansion possible in a marriage is so beautiful and more than ever imagined and after 38 years of marriage the last 14 years of The Way of The Livingness has reflected and supported this true love to me in my everyday.
Yes, I have the same experience and am also blown away by how super gorgeous awesome my marriage of 24 years has become since we both started living and committing to The Way of The Livingness. We have not only grown and developed and deepened our love and harmony with each other but also with ourselves and everyone else. The Way of The Livingness flows into every area of life – health, wealth, well-being, work, relationships etc – huge thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for making it all so simple and accessible.
Funny when I read the first para of your blog Joel, I read it as the thing I find most confirming but you actually wrote the most “confronting”. It can be confirming or confronting depending on which choice we make.
Joel, I have found this to be true also, ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’ I have felt that it is my choice to feel light and playful and engaged and it is my choice to dull myself, to feel tired by not resting; going to bed late; overeating etc, all of the choices I make in my day determine how I feel.
I can put my name on the list Joel because my relationships have improved since meeting Serge Benhayon and people at Universal Medicine. Through them I am learning what a loving relationship looks like and learning to build a loving relationship with myself. This has been absolutely amazing support in my relationships with people.
How important it is to allow ourselves to grow in and to be the same for another in all of our relationships. Whilst it’s not necessarily an easy thing it is always worthwhile.
I’m in a new relationship after seven years on my own and a 41 year relationship before that. In the previous relationship I had no idea what was going on, I just blamed him for just about everything and took no responsibility for my part in our discordance. So, after seven years of working on my own self, learning to appreciate and love and care for me, I am thrilled to be in a new relationship where I have an opportunity to re-imprint everything. I still drop back into old behaviours of judging, but at least I am more aware and can pull myself out of it. We can talk about what’s going on and I find that really helpful. The occasional discussion with Relationship Counsellors Annette Baker and Gabe Caplice helps too. https://truthaboutuniversalmedicine.com/2013/01/19/how-many-marriages-relationships-have-been-improved/comment-page-10/#comment-185609
A lot of relationships and marriages dwindle or deteriorate after many years of being together. We forget that all relationships take work and a renewed commitment each day otherwise yep they are going to dwindle. So it is really lovely to hear how your marriage in fact has been the complete opposite and has over the years become more intimate and loving ‘There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness.’ I know for me and many others just by observing the relationships Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have is an inspiration and chance to see there is another way to live and be with both ourselves and others that is far more loving than we are currently living.
Life is about evolution, and relationships support us in this evolution. Comfort especially in relationships is one of the things that stop us evolving and causes relationships to stagnate. Knowing how to gracefully accept when another is pulling us up without reaction so that the relationship continually evolves is an art in itself but once mastered offers an amazing reflection for others to evolve too.
Sometimes people genuinely do grow ‘apart’ so to speak and it is the best thing for both to end a marriage or intimate relationship – and it doesn’t mean that there has to be animosity or that this is a ‘bad’ thing…
In the world as we have made it today it is common to blame anything outside for our woes, but we have still yet to learn that everything has something to do with us and is not just happening, and thus the power of change lays in our own hands.
“I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?” I can say that all my relationships have improved for this very reason. The more that I learn to love and accept myself the more I am able to do this with others. It is very simple really.
Thank you for sharing this! And it makes sense what you say – that relationships always have a choice – to grow together or apart. And this is what happens in any or all relationships. Universal Medicine has supported me in my relationship to see and understand this choice and choose to be more loving in each moment.
If ‘after seventeen years of marriage and about eight years applying what Universal Medicine presents’ you feel like your relationship is based on a quality that is constantly regenerating itself and its potential with new beginnings then I would say Joel you are onto a way of living that will continue to grow as you do and, a way of living that is well and truly worth continuing your commitment to.
I used to love watching romantic comedies where the couple finally get together but then, like the fairy tales the story would end with a ‘happy ever after.’ And then you’d get the films of affairs when the relationship went stale. I realise that there are so few couples that aren’t in the arrangement of ‘I do things like this and you do things like that and this is how we will continue til death do us part’, that I grew up fearing falling in love because it would only end in tears (I only had to look at all the marriages around me that thrived on drama and conflict to keep them together). So it’s been amazing to read this and see relationships grow and how people navigate those growth spurts together. I realise there is nothing to fear and everything to commit to in all my relationships.
Absolutely that would be a list worth seeing! We are surrounded by dysfunctional relationships our whole lives, and in fact, we know them and are more comfortable with them than we are of supportive, loving and honouring relationships, we often just don’t realise it.
It is my experience Joel that in any relationship when the rules get changed ‘there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart’.
I am not married and haven’t been in a relationship with a partner for a while but all my relationships including the relationship I have with myself has … OMG deepened and blossomed to a level I could not fathom. I have never had so much love for both myself and others and the incredible thing is, this keeps growing and unfolding. As others have shared, if it were not for the constant loving reflection and teachings of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I know that my life would have continued to be the struggle that I was subconsciously creating. I deeply appreciate both Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and myself for the loving changes I have made and continue to make.
Spot on Joel I wouldn’t be with my husband if we hadn’t grown together through the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and all he presents. Fact.
Relationships offer us the opportunity to evolve at all times, it is a choice whether we make it about self and what we can get out of it and see it as a burden or we make it about universality where we see the pull to be more of who we are as uncomfortable as it might be – a true reflection for the all.
How many relationships have improved? Well, definitely to one I have with myself, my body and the way I live – from there I have a pretty solid foundation for how I am in other relationships too. Really, it should be no different, from how I am with myself to how I am with another. That’s the beauty of true relationships, there is no compromise, just opportunity to express who we are and share that with others.
My relationships have changed so much through the support of Universal Medicine. Previously I was pretty blind to what was really going on but through listening to what Serge Benhayon presents I have observed myself and others and have a much deeper awareness, appreciation and openess with others now.
Deepening relationships is always a choice like you say, either to grow together or apart. When we value each other the choice is simple and maybe not always obvious because growing can also mean to go on different paths never from reaction but from a knowing that comes from within.
A true relationship allows another to be where they are and offer a potential for growth.
Yes Deborah – simple and true. There is a constant opportunity for both to go deeper in the relationship with themselves and share that with another, but by no means is that opportunity loaded with an expectation for the other to take it. It is so beautiful to feel held (energetically) by another who is not expecting anything but accepting all of you, where ever you may be at in life.
Very good question – how many relationships have developed in a way that deepens the love – as opposed to the many couples that might just stay together out of fear of being alone and from the need for a seemingly secure albeit not joyful arrangement?
I for one would be nowhere near a loving relationship today, if it wasn’t for the teachings and consistent support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Another factor I got reading your words Joel is all the people who may have easily pursued and got stuck in relationships overrun by arrangement and need. How many are there of these? Just not going there and knowing deep in your heart that true Love is available and oh so possible, is to me something of a miracle. Here’s to the Love Serge and we all can inspire.
Put me and my partner on the list, please 🙂
We have known each other since I was 30 Years and are together as a couple for 26 years: Married for 13 Years and with Universal Medicine, we are for 12 Years.
I am not sure if we would be still together (or alive) if we would not study Universal Medicine and go on The Way of The Livingness together – but I am totally sure we would not have the depth and joy we have with each other without this. Relationship is about growing together, to discover more truth and expand – if not it is an existing; what can be comfortable for a while but never truly enough. That’s my experience. We see this when we start to hold back again in evolvement – problems and complications come up and our life gets less joyful. Our marker for lived love is now very high and needs to be confirmed and chosen every day anew. This holds us and our relationship very fresh, alive and fascinating.
I so love this blog, sharing the truth in relationships. It is the offer of evolution in a relationship that is so beautiful to feel.
I know for me that all my relationships have improved enormously since I started to attend presentations with Universal Medicine and apply them in my life. It has been a beautiful process of the more I learn to love myself the more I am learning to love others.
It is very easy to point the finger to something outside of yourself when it comes to the topic of relationship breakdowns.
The answer to this question in my case is ‘all of mine’. Every relationship I am in has transformed because of one thing – the awareness that I am to love myself first rather than seek love in another. Understanding this means I am no longer seeking love in relationships with others but am responsible for being that love. This is true whether I am in relationship with my wife, my colleagues, my friends or complete ‘strangers’ – who incidentally do not feel like strangers so much any more because I feel the innately loving connection we share in our hearts.
Even relationships with friends have the potential to evolve and grow further than what we often allow. The fear of hurt or being hurt is definitely part of this and so crippling. The potential for something greater is always there in the wings waiting for us to accept it, and when we do there is no end to where we can go with it. Sometimes both are aware and accepting of this and choose expansion and inspiration, as others may not be ready and thus drop away.
True Joel, ‘there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.’ And if there is a willingness to build a deeper love then the understanding will be there so that when one person grows they will support the other to unfold in their own time without putting pressure on them to change. People do not always evolve at the same rate and so this mutual support is needed at such times so there is not a sense of one being ahead and the other behind but a sense of them doing it together and supporting each other on the journey.
All relationships are an opportunity offered to us to learn and to grow. It is not always comfortable to grow and we get pulled out of our comfort zones time and time again. And if it is our partner who has made the choice to grow, then we can feel quite unsettled at the change – this is the time to ask if the change is actually a loving one that is offering both people the growth or if it is one that is stunting one and both? The bottom line is that most of us do sadly resist growth, and yet, when we do eventually embrace it, we get to realise and appreciate how it was the best thing for us despite the upheaval we may have experienced. Knowing this alone can give us the nudge to give the growth a chance and hence to resist it less….who knows what will unfold from each growth spurt!?
Even if one resist, a relationship is still there, it becomes our choice on how this relationship unfolds.
Our relationship with ourselves is what we will bring to our relationships with all others. It is wise to pay heed to the energy we choose, the choices we make and to deal with our hurts least they corrupt the union with another.
I love this sense that ‘we are only just beginning’. I met my partner – now my wife – just over 6 years ago. We both understand the responsibility we have for ourselves first, to connect to the love we are, to embody and express this love, rather than seek it from the other. When we live this way, there is a beautiful sense that we have only just met, like every day begins afresh. Things rarely hangover from one day to the next and if they do, we accept responsibility for them ourselves rather than point fingers at each other. Perhaps this is an innate quality of love – that in every new moment we are beginning and also completing – leaving us free to be all that we are with each other.
Maintaining that choice to remain together as we grow is not an easy one if not regularly repeated, in myself and with others. The whole world is set up for us to not commit but to separate. But Universal Medicine bucks this trend and shares that appreciating what happens in life through this commitment to remain connected (to ourselves and others) brings not only improvement but so much richness to life that is simply not there in the withdrawn ways.
I reckon being in a relationship whether it be as partners or as friends is a union that never ceases to evolve to greater depth, but there is always the choice to resist of course.
If it were not for Universal Medicine I have absolutely no doubt that I would have spent the rest of my life alone and miserable or in very abusive short relationships. Now – after 6 years of being absolutely blessed by the presentations and support offered by Universal Medicine I have completely turned my relationship with relationships around. I am now engaged to a beautiful man and the love we share enables us to work on things that we would not have seen had it not been for the reflection offered by the other. Prior to this I had come to a point where being single was a joy and no longer a lonely or miserable experience. All of this only possible because I put the principles I learned from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine into practice.
Universal Medicine has supported me to fall in love with myself first and foremost and every day I am further supported to let this love out as it belongs to everyone.
Wow, where to start? My relationship with my fiancee would not even be here, without the support of Universal Medicine, Esoteric Practitioners and courses. That’s not because we are dependent on others or weak willed, but simply that we both want a relationship that is all about growth, and this can be a confronting route to take. But ultimately what I have found is this loving way has helped cut down, root out and make a break with the past weeds of hurts and ingrained distrust. We both want more growth this way. It feels like the very reason we have been drawn together in relationship this life, and absolutely why I wish with all my heart to make my fiancee my wife. Thanks to you Joel and everyone who does not settle for ‘getting by’ and makes harmony and tender care the symphony they choose to play.
Being truly honest with myself and allowing myself to be vulnerable with another supports me to take responsibility for myself and clears the way for the same possibility in the next moment. Relationships are then based on trust and true intimacy.
It is truly beautiful to witness and experience the forever deepening of love and appreciation amongst couples and in all relationships I have as well. The Way of the Livingness has been key to building and developing this deep love and understanding for others – relationships begin to thrive and blossom when you live this truth and wisdom.
As a consequence of bringing The Way of The Livingness into my life my relationship with myself and others has changed so much with much more love openness and responsibility. The power of our reflection in our living way brings opportunity to those we are in relationship with to open up to their own love, or not.
I have observed over the years profound and enduring, absolutely beautiful, loving and evolutionary changes in friends who have been applying the simple principles Universal Medicine offers. I have observed these same changes in myself in relation to and with others and I would not give these up for the world. They are exactly what the world needs right now too.
I feel and can see around me that this would be a huge list of relationships that have improved, choosing to live our own Way of The Livingness brings a depth to live that is beautiful to feel and to pursue.
Through being a student of Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness I and my wife have gained understanding of the meaning of ‘relationship’ and practical tools to enhance and deepen our relationship so that after 18 years of being together we can truthfully say the joy of being together just gets greater (if that is possible). It is not static but always expanding.
What you present here suggests that love and honesty are paramount in a relationship and that developing and taking the next steps might have to happen apart from each other and after separating; either way, love wins and honesty is still as important as ever, coupled with responsibility of course.
What you say, Gabriele, is so true – “love and honesty are paramount in a relationship”.
Universal Medicine presents and redefine what true love is and many of us find it uncomfortable to be confronted with the falseness we have lived with for so long, probably over life times and we may try argue and defend, we do know deep down what true love is. It is then our choice whether to live with the truth, or carry on pretending that we didn’t hear it. I personally feel that it is that niggling feeling within that tells me there’s something that is not true about the way I am living that hurts the most. I have just spent 3 weeks in England attending workshops, surrounded by the student of The Way of The Livingness and it is so inspiring to feel the deeper level of intimacy in many relationships not only as a couple, but just as friends, and how that comes from their aligning to what true love is.
And relationships are not just marriages, we have relationships with everyone! There is an opportunity for what you are sharing with us Joel to be utilised in all relationships.
I’ve found the most fundamental process when we chose to develop our relationship together was first to deal with the hurts that would always create reactions in each other, and spending more time together to get to re-know one another and the depth of love and commitment that is there for each other.
We are responsible for ourselves and the joy we experience. When we are single that is obvious. But it seems that often when we enter into a relationship we give up that responsibility to the other person. So, our joy or misery is up to them and theirs is up to us. Stopping to realise that we are still responsible for our own joy and our own development not only allows for us to grow, but gives our relationships breathing room to become more than an area of life laden with our expectations for it to do something for us.
It is great to hear how relationships are alive and evolving and I feel this is definitely something we need to talk about and discuss more. I also love how you share what this looks like … it’s letting go of things that no longer support us being who we truly are. This is easy although sometimes we can delay it, currently I am feeling how I need to let go of certain behaviours with food but it seems I am taking my time with this!!! Crazy when I know once this is done more love awaits for me to both live and receive. I deeply appreciate the Benhayon’s for living their truth consistently and being all they are … wise, loving, caring, playful, sexy and more, it beautifully reflects out, and pulls others up to be all they are too.
Universal Medicine has exposed me to the fact that relationships are about evolution and not about just being comfortable together. If we are not evolving and forever deepening our love, we stagnate and this is what causes nearly all relationship tensions and issues and we are not expressing the next level of love that is there for both to evolve to.
If only we were taught from a young age that taking responsibility for every choice we make has a direct affect on the joy we experience in life. Relationships can be a test of this, knowing that how we are, can affect another is a huge responsibility. For example I know frustration does not support anyone and how quickly it can dull a relationship, yet I can still make the choice to be frustrated. Through Universal Medicine I am much more aware of my responsibility in relationships so that they don’t escalate into problematic situations.
What I see in relationships in the Universal Medicine student body is deeply inspiring. It is a building of love that I haven’t seen anywhere else, the beauty, sexiness and love that emenates from the couples that I know is deeply humbling, knowing that is what true love is capable of.
There is much to ponder on in your short and inspiring blog Joel. Just the opening paragraph alone is inviting me to be more aware, be more willing to take responsibility for my every choice in every moment of my day. It highlights to me how much I still switch off my awareness and connection when I observe myself and how I interact with others. I often think I am willing to take responsibility but I just realised if at any moment I choose to switch off from this level of responsibility and awareness, it means I am not actually choosing to take responsibility on board. Something for me to be more aware of, learn from and observe.
“I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.” I have found this too Joel and I can feel that I can struggle with this at times, I can still allow myself to be affected by how another person is feeling, and I know this is because I can still hold onto a picture of how I want them to be and this is not supportive for either of us.
It also feels as though there is no hidden resentment because one person in the relationship dictates how the relationship is to be and the other is expected to live under those rules which often happens in relationship – walking on eggshells. The equality you speak of here is very nurturing and a beautiful environment to allow our true selves to emerge and to also to raise children – thanks Joel.
“It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules, at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.” I like what you are saying here Joel. We are so used to keeping to the rules, and especially in our close relationships like to pull that card but as you point out, in the end it comes to whether we are willing to grow, and grow together or not.
Since Universal Medicine my partner and I have totally re-imprinted our relationship. We felt we needed to separate as we could see that we were living in a very comfortable way that was not moving forward in any way so for some 6 years we have lived apart so as to work on loving ourselves, which was a foreign concept at first. For the last couple of years we started dating and have been seeing ourselves and therefore each other in a whole new light and enjoy spending any time we are not working together, inspiring and encouraging each other to move forward in many aspects of our expression. We have been in relationship for 40 years. He has always been my best friend even when times were tough and I had resorted to rebellious behaviours while harboring old hurts. The difference now since Universal Medicine is that I appreciate him so much more and I have no expectations or investment in the relationship, I no longer need to be in a relationship as I feel complete in myself but appreciate it as a bonus! He is my greatest reflection and I am more willing to see the reflection and own it, and with that comes an enormous amount of joy that previously could not be accessed as hurt stood in the way. The love was always there it only needed the way cleared and the understanding of what ‘love’ truly means so as to allow it to be a livingness. As such is The Way of The Livingness, a religion that re-ignites the love that we all are into a living way of being!
Be love, receive love. Very simple but not always so simple to put into practice. At the end of the day though we are all returning to being love and so the obstacles that we place in our own way will all have to be dealt with at some point, so it’s simply a matter of when, never a matter of whether or not we deal with them.
So true Joel – every day and every moment feels new when there is a commitment to a relationship which support us in our own evolution, both individually and as a couple. The reflection of love lived that this offers to others is super powerful.
This blog has come up for me again! Another opportunity to appreciate how I deeply love my husband and our ongoing commitment to each other and to life. It started with me learning to love myself and to feel that I am enough – taking the need out of the relationship. We are both learning to express with a deeper honesty and more joy!
I Love my husband dearly, we encountered Universal Medicine together through meeting a practitioner who was training with Universal Medicine. We knew each other for quite some years before this meeting. I always felt I wanted to be in a relationship that evolved and that looked for the truth, went deeper, I didn’t always go about that in a loving or gentle way. Sometimes I was demanding, needy and emotional, and so frustrated because it didn’t flow. Attending Universal Medicine courses has been so empowering and supportive to our relationship, it is deepening, evolving and building more truth in it and we have a lot of joy and appreciation in our daily lives.
Yes, often the most honest loving relationships are not always the most comfortable, but they call us to more of who we truly are and that is truly loving for all of us.
I have found not only have my relationships with others improved but my relationship with everything I do has evolved incredibly since my involvement with Universal Medicine
It is empowering when we are open to evolution in all our relationships as we then can let go of ideals and beliefs we have been imposed with of what relationships are supposed to be like and instead welcome change that allows us a deeper level of intimacy and understanding for others which then opens us up to a greater level of love.
Dealing with comforts, security, protection in relationship – I accept your lack of love and you accept my lack of love, so that we both feel cosy and safe although we are starving and craving intimacy. Or, making it all about love, a forever unfolding and deepening of who we are and sharing with each other and thereby being a reflection of true love in the world.
I was talking to someone recently and she was telling me that after 30 years of marriage she just cannot wait to get home to her husband, she was lighting up when she talked about him, she cried when she told me that her favourite part of the day is holding her husbands hand in bed. What’s so beautiful about this story is the quality of the relationship was what she was celebrating, not the quantity, she brushed over the length of time they were married but gave great detail to how much love they shared. It was very inspiring and as she was speaking I realised it’s very rare for us to simply talk like this, in celebration of each other.
There is indeed a connection between the choice we make in each moment and how we feel within ourselves. Making supportive and loving choices makes my body feel alive and vibrant, and when I slip and those choices aren’t so supportive, I feel it immediately and depending on what it is, sometime thereafter.
The need for security in relationship caused by the mechanism of protection first before love is the downfall of every relationship.
Yes true, love is who we are and what we bring, not a need or expectation that another delivers.
Before Universal Medicine, my understanding of relationship was characterized and flawed by the distorted version of love, sex, family, guilt, need and shame society has lost itself in – a compilation of ideals, hopes, hurts and fantasies but nothing real in regards to true love, intimacy, trust, brotherhood.
“I also feel like we are only just beginning.”
Absolutely agree Joel, by committing to ourselves we commit to one another and the unfoldment of this is ever changing, its like glimpsing the gold in our equal potential & realising the infinite power and magic that two people are here to bring – and best of all there is no pinnacle, no end point, no picture, simply feeling our way together.
Universal Medicine has shown me that relationships can never become stagnant and that there is always a deeper level of love and intimacy possible between people in any relationship.
I often wondered as a child what would happen after the happy-ever-after ending of those fairy tales we get told. We get fed form early in our life the idea that we would arrive at a certain point in our life where we could relax and put our feet up – but this is so not true in any aspect of our life, and that includes our relationships.
Hey Joel, my marriage would appear on that list, too. Not only has our relationship immensely improved and deepened since applying Universal Medicine’s wisdom, we wouldn’t be married at all, because before there was no true purpose of being together other than the comfort for one self.
The more we can allow ourselves and each other to be, the more joy there is in the world because there is so much joy in us waiting to unfold. I love how you are both allowing this to happen in your relationship.
I agree Joel it can at times be confronting to accept and take responsibility for our own choices, not blaming it on someone else… And I have also experienced how profoundly healing it is to do so, to take full stock of a choice and its consequences and to learn from it. A key aspect I’ve found that supports this is not condemning yourself because of the choice but seeing it for what it was and just committing to not repeating it.
Yes, Joel, I have found it amazing in my relationship that after 27yrs of marriage, that we are still learning about each other and are prepared to take our love and commitment to a deeper level. Our marriage is alive!
Alive is a good way to describe it Anne. Something that continues to grow and evolve
“There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.” How many couples can honestly claim this after 7 years of marriage let alone 17 years? I would venture to say – almost rare as hen’s teeth!
It is up to us to take responsibility for our own evolution then we will naturally offer evolution in all of our relationships.
What I learned through Universal Medicine is that a relationship needs to be a constant moving on with each other, it needs to stay alive, the moment it stagnates, something becomes stale and we need to realize that we have lowered our standards and have compromised or given up on something.
I love that you are being real here Joel, describing that a life is about choices and how much joy and love we feel is determined by us. That relationships, even if you are living ‘the way of the livingness’ can still have reactions and things to work through, as with relationships there is never a quick fix or utopian view point. But applying both of these together, the responsibility for ourselves and the way of the livingness, relationships can truly flourish and grow to a depth that is just wonderful and largely unfounded in today’s busyness of life.
The quality of the relationships we have is essentially everything. It’s what makes the world tick. In the past I have to say that there has been a level of functionality about my relationships…you do this and therefore I do that. But really it’s much deeper than that and it begins with the quality of the relationship that we have with ourselves. I have realised that the more self critical I am, or even if I go into being task orientated only, that is how my day is and that is how I am with others. Whereas when I connect, even to the possibility that I am so much more than a task and feel what that so much more is, then that is what I bring to every interaction. This is very beautiful and offers a depth that I know I have been searching for my whole life and is all found within.
Before Universal Medicine the word responsibility never got a look-in when it came to relationships as need, blame and attachment were the sole focus. Even today I catch that they are still around but to a lesser extent, with this awareness of how I relate to myself I relate to others in the exact same way, and vice versa, how I relate to others I relate to myself – with this in mind the more I open up to relationships the more I learn, and from there can share my understanding with others. We all reflect to each other quality before actions and we can learn so much from each other when connected and willing to address the qualities that don’t feel true, or the hurts and pressures and expectations we experience.
Joel, I fully agree Universal Medicine has transformed all my relationships. I used to have lots of superficial friends and kept most things to myself – showing part of me but never really opening up. I am not saying I know am an open book but am becoming more open with others and definitely have deeper connections with people.
Forming any relationship has to include a willingness to constantly deepen and develop the connection between ourselves and our partner. I can feel in my own relationship the times where I stop and have seemed to settle for where it is, and I recognise that is no use, that this will ultimately fail, that it is about expressing more of my feelings, about sharing more quality in each movement and that it all comes from my own willingness to develop my self appreciation and sense of self and taking that to the relationships I have.
So often it seems that ‘developing your relationship’ is something that is undertaken only when things have already gone downhill pretty far. It becomes more of a rescue job than a building of the love that is there to be explored. Through Universal Medicine I have been presented with the reality of making every day about growing the love in my relationship, not only with my partner, but all my relationships.
Joel – I am on that list, and being a student of Universal Medicine has allowed me to take this into every aspect of my life, including my marriage. I’d never been in a relationship that lasted more than a few chaotic months, and now I understand what true relationships are – what the purpose is, and that has meant that every day is an experiment, an opportunity to go deeper, be more open, be more me. What an amazing marriage that is – one that never gets tired but on the contrary – is ever deepening.
I love what you’ve shared here. Relationships can offer a false safety or security with both people not changing or growing, or we can shake things up by dedicating ourselves to evolution and choose to learn and grow together. One is static, one is dynamic. I used to think love was the static one, that thing you could trust that never changed, now I can see that’s dependency and very stagnant. Our images of love in relationships can be very different to what love actually is.
I agree Joel it is always a choice to grow together or to grow apart in our relationships. I have found by allowing the other person to simple be, give them space and without projecting any judgment, is the best and most loving way to understand and evolve our relationships.
“The thing I have found confronting at times to accept and take responsibility for, is that there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.” – I love this sentence – it asks of us to realise that we are indeed responsible for our own well being and our own well- feeling. Every choice we make has an impact or effect on us and how we feel. As a society we have a habit of finger pointing and blaming, and saying it is someone else’s fault that we feel the way we do. But in the end it is about the foundation we hold, the solidness of self that does not get affected by how another is or how another behaves. Of course we might feel another’s disregard, and it may hurt, but deep within the solidness of self is unwavering.
Likewise it is our relationship with this solidness that is key, and all the choices we make all the time impact on this relationship – it is this that we are responsible for. If we feel disconnected and discontent, could it be that we have not been fostering the inner connection? Could it be that we have forgotten about the solidness that lies deep within? Could we perhaps have been distracted from what is most important (our connection)?
So much here to ponder and appreciate and accept – thank you Joel for this gem of a sentence followed by a gem of a blog!
Relationships offer us a reflection of learning in every moment and when we allow the other person to be who they are amazing things begin to unfold. When we make relationships about deepening our own relationship with self first, its truly beautiful what flows on to all of our relationships thereafter.
All of my relationships have changed since I started applying the principles of the Way of the Livingness to my life. Close relationships have deepened, and others simply faded away without any drama. My family relationships are also more appreciative and honest, mainly because my relationship with myself is more appreciative and honest. It can be challenging to see those around us stepping up, but it is also an opportunity to be inspired to do the same. Life is never dull and boring when viewed this way.
I can definitely look back at my past relationships and see how they were based on neediness and pictures of how a relationship should look like, The Way of Livingness has now allowed me to know and accept more of the man of who I am and bring that into every relationship I have, not holding back any of it and not being attached or invested in any outcome, I now enjoy relationships committed to constantly evolve and saying yes to more love each day.
Relationships offer us the perfect opportunity for us to evolve we either fight it because it is asking us to be more of who we are and it is easier to be comfort or we say yes and go through the adjustment period knowing that life is all about evolving back to where we come from so there is not a stagnant moment as always there is more love to be lived with ourselves and others alike.
Change is a natural part of our growth and evolution in all relationships and life but if we don’t inspire or support each other in this change we all just stand trapped within the status quo literally marking time doing the same thing over and over – and where is the evolution and joy in that?
I am learning to bring understanding and appreciation into every relationship. This offers a platform for the relationship to grow, rather than stifling it with wanting people to be a certain way.
After 26th years of marriage I also can say; we are just beginning. And that is a very joyful experience and sot different from how we have started, living the ideals and believes of being a happy couple doing the right things. Since we have met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we have started to feel what was and is in the way to have a relationship build on truth and on love. And this is every day a choice to open up to each other no matter what and to grow, to give each other the space to grow and this opening up expands to all we meet. How could this not be joyful!
The deeper we are willing to go with our own healing and commit to life our relationships naturally evolve.
Our relationship with ourselves is key. To know who we are and to let this out in full, let another in and accept them wholly for where they are is an absolute joy and a living way well worth committing to.
Thanks to the teachings of Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom I have reconnected back to a way that accepts who I am and thus expresses this same acceptance towards others. I have been reacquainted with the tools to understand life again and the responsibility I hold to be myself in relationships while allowing others to do the same.
Beautiful Joel – it is about love and the openness of love and for sure equally when in a relationship. Like you, I started to experience that in a relationship is a learning and reflection of how much love we let in our lives and how much love we choose to be and let it be seen through us. The more we allow to be loving and beautiful the more loving and beautiful we will be with one and another – a beautiful reflection of how we choose to life love or not. Thank you Joel, I agree, this lists needs to be set up for all to see and learn from.
‘Rules’ are like guide lines and when in place can be washed away like sand on a beach, with the smallest wave creating change. Bigger waves create devastation and storms total chaos. Water like love has the ability to nurture, we just have to be open to feeling when to be at the beach. Love is eternal and even the biggest storm will have zero disruption.
In my humble experience in core relationships in my life, I’ve found there’s one essential element: be committed, in full. A natural part of this commitment is a willingness to keep going deeper in oneself – to heal our own pasts, to be willing to love and deepen our capacity to love, which includes detaching from needing the other to be ‘a certain way’, or always share the same point of understanding. The relationship may prosper and deepen, or change its form (such as in a separation), but the love need never die.
We are amazing beings, each with such a rich history – all of which is brought to every relationship that we have. Our relationships are most surely the greatest learning ground about life, oneself, and all – the greatest I know.
How easy it can be to want to blame something outside of a relationship for any tensions therein… What brought about a change in my partner? If I don’t like it, it must be something ‘wrong’, ‘invasive’, ‘controlling’, etc – a ‘bad influence’ that has come from outside of the relationship that is at fault… (at least it’s easy for so many of us to seek to look for something/someone to blame)
Yet in most instances, from my experience, the issues at hand are always deeper than this – what if someone changes in a way that they are more empowered, more joyful, more autonomous, less dependent, less needy, more vibrant, more socially engaged…? Changes such as these can also spark quite a reaction – because we are presented with the opportunity and inspiration to change ourselves. How readily this can be resisted – and it’s totally understood, for all such occurrences that may challenge a status quo can trigger deep hurts we have not yet healed, discomfort in things not being the way we want them to be…
And we can all to easily lose sight of the beauty that may well be unfolding before our own eyes.
The truth so simply stated Joel. In a relationship where both parties are truly committed to making it about love, there will still be points of resistance to growth and change that are naturally met. The key is, to see none of this as ‘personal’, and rather, if approached with responsibility, be willing an open to look at anything that may create tension. There is so much opportunity to deepen in our acceptance and understanding of each other here, and move beyond old rigidities that seek to keep us in a comfortable ‘same old’.
“there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.”- Yes, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine over the last 7 yrs I have learnt that first and foremost that a loving relationship to self is required before expecting it from another and this is why so many relationships fail. When I first got married 26 yrs ago it was on the basis of a need to find love and security from another.
Thankfully, as I have been building a more loving relationship with myself I no longer feel empty within, needing another to fill it by doing things for me, showing me they love me etc. As I appreciate myself more, I appreciate the qualities my husband has and accept him for who he is and not only for what he does. We have a deeper respect for our different rhythms, and we are more honest in our communication with each other, calling out what doesn’t feel loving.
“..there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.” I experienced growing apart in my relationship many years ago and we separated. However looking back it is sad that actually neither of us brought to the table that our relationship would always be about growing together so this was not in our foundation from the start.
I know of many others like yourself that have chosen to embrace the commitment they made with self-responsibility and as such have deepened the foundation of love in which they stand together… there is no doubt of the correlation between the choices we make and the level of love and joy that can be experienced because of these… as beautiful to witness as I am sure it is beautiful to live.
Thank you Joel, I love your blog. I have been in a relationship for almost 15 years. Since I started attending Universal Medicine events I was inspired to be open to taking responsibility for my choices and how I feel instead of blaming others. This has made a massive difference in my relationship. I am also learning to let go of expectations, ideals and beliefs to allow more love to be felt and expressed. By taking responsibility for all my choices and by being completely open and honest with myself and others my life has become more joyful, loving and simple. Who would have thought that responsibility is deeply supportive in assisting us to return to love, totally opposite to thoughts of it being burdensome, instead it brings much joy and lightness to our lives.
What a simple but powerful shift in how we view a relationship; We don’t discuss or call out enough that we always have a choice – to grow together or apart.
There is no doubt we always feel this – if we are close to someone or not in a relationship, but rather than going straight to blame, how about looking at it from responsibility and from choices. What an amazing way to grow?
A relationship ‘issue’ with another is greatly simplified if we are willing to see that the relationship is composed firstly of our relationship with our self and evolution; and, another’s relationship with their self and evolution.
The process of growing, developing and deepening our relationship with ourselves of course can be sensed by others, however it is never an imposition; but an inspiration… If we allow ourselves to be inspired by another’s choices (even if we are not ready to go there ourselves) it allows us to be at ease with both ourselves and them. It is the resistance to the reflection of greater responsibility we tend to fight, which in truth has nothing to do with another, but everything to do with ourselves.
When I stopped trying to pick apart what was wrong with my marriage and started to appreciate the magic that is there, there was a joy that returned, that is much more true that the honeymoon phase.
It is all our own choice, and this brings an enormous responsibility. It is a great step to start taking this responsibility and see this in our relationships, knowing that we are all responsible for what our own love brings. I feel a deeper level of commitment in relationships, and this is a beautiful thing to witness.
“After seventeen years of marriage and about eight years applying what Universal Medicine presents, there is no doubt our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be.” This is an amazing testimonial to Universal Medicine and Joel goes on to describe the playfulness honesty and sexiness that has blossomed. All I can add is that what I have found in my marriage through Universal Medicine, will continue to evolve whether I continue to have contact with Universal Medicine or not. It is something I have claimed and this more than anything else is what Universal Medicine is about.
Many of my relationships including with myself, my family, friends and peers have improved since I have committed to ‘The Way of the Livingness’ as presented by Serge Benhayon Universal Medicine.
A great relationship is an evolutionary relationship.
An improvement in a relationship can even be the exposure of the agreement that is currently in place, with a commitment to actually be in truth together, no matter whether that leads out of the relationship or into a deeper one. Improving becomes defined by the quality of the relationship and not any perceived outcome.
I fully agree with you Joel that the list of improved relationships will be worth seeing. The depth of love and especially the appreciation of one another in our marriage has increased tremendously from implementing the teaching presented by Universal Medicine. Although I have to be honest that our marriage was not based on true love when we both entered into it, I can still feel that we always have felt that there was this potency in our relationship to live in love with one another but we only where looking for it outside of ourselves instead of within. The last 9 years of our 26 years of marriage we have introduced the Universal Medicine teachings and these have brought back to us this fact, that a marriage is about building a relationship of love and about nothing else.
‘ I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ I love this line. I’ve always been a little scared to hit a point within a relationship and get the realization that this is as good as it gets. I’ve used this as an excuse to avoid the responsibility of deepening all my relationships including the one with myself. Bobbing on the surface is not where it’s at so I’m going a little deeper with myself and people and though it’s a little scary it’s also pretty cool. There’s a whole universe to feel.
“I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?” Since attending Universal Medicine presentations I am bringing more understanding and far less judgement to all my relationships. Expressing how I feel – and not blaming the other – also taking responsibility for the part I play in it all.
When I feel the need to change by routine or rhythm or expression in some way I can put my hand up for wanting my partner to ‘come with me’. Only when I commit fully to ‘me’ and my choice, does it matter not if other’s ‘come with me’ or not!
Many changes have occurred in my relationships since attending Universal Medicine workshops, and continue to change. I have often observed how the holding back creeps in and the reluctance to go deeper comes in-between us as a couple, especially when a new level of comfort has been clocked but not addressed.
I have found in many of my past relationships that it is all too easy to go into blame and judgement when my partners decides to change in a way that is asking me to take responsibility for myself. But the truth is that this is merely an attempt to deflect from what is truly on offer: a way to grow and expand beyond what I had been settling for in my relationship and in myself. Relationships are about offering evolution to one another, but it is up to each of us to take responsibility for that evolution.
“Playfulness” is another key ingredient of a relationship. Too often we get bogged down in what is not working and get so serious about it but as soon as we lighten up the sun seems to shine again and the issue melts away. It was really just a bit of frozen hardness covering our love.
Love all your comments Sandra, so awesome to read your evolutionary process in action.
“There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, . . .” Joel, this surely is one of the keys to deepening a relationship, for if we impose on another they feel judged and are likely to react, and even if we do it because we want to bring more love into the relationship, it is just another want which places a demand on the other. Love makes no demands and accepts the other as they are, which then reflects to them the quality of who they truly are. Once people are confirmed in this way they are more likely to make loving choices.
Joel, I was constantly trying to improve my relationship but I realised it was not possible until I changed me. I saw that I was not valuing myself, or what I brought to the relationship and I had lost myself by supporting others first. So I am now developing a relationship with myself which is not so much an ‘improvement’ but a return to the recognition of who I already am. With this new basis, my relationships are blossoming everywhere.
So true Joel, there is much to be celebrated in what you have shared. Changing the way we view and behave in relationships, not just with our partners, but with everyone. This is how we are going to reshape and turn around how we are in society with each other. Learning to bring understanding and acceptance of others is key.
“. . . allowing of the other person to be who they are” is an important ingredient in a loving relationship. Too often people control each other to make them fit into the picture they have created but this stifles both parties and holds them back from growing together in love.
“I also feel like we are only just beginning.” This is such a lovely statement Joel. It keeps a relationship fresh and new as each is open to the unfolding potential and willing to move forward. This does away with the stagnant comfort of familiarity and though some choices are challenging at times, living like this is the only way to deepen the love.
Joel on reading ‘ we are both committed to our own ‘way of the livingness’, it coincided with my really recent understanding that although there are parameters to the way of the livingness, within those parameters are a million. trillion different expressions of The Way of The Livingness. This understanding lead on to me really seeing why comparison is meaningless. When each of us are evolving at such a personal rate and in such a specific way to us then what really are we comparing?
This is beautiful Joel, and as you have shared, we all change. Within a relationship this means we either grow together or grow apart and I for one would not want to be in a stagnant relationship.
Great blog Joel. Yes a lot of relationships have improved with the support of Universal Medicine- I was someone who avoided people and spent most of my life running from them and I definitely avoided relationships. Now I am dating a gorgeous man and learning to share more of myself with him.
A well-spotted occurrence is many relationships; friendships, families and partnerships. We either grow together or grow apart.
The great thing about being in relationships with people who are committed to growth and evolution is that everything can be used as an opportunity to grow and develop. This can be challenging but it is also deeply satisfying and rewarding because in the end the growth that is occurring is greater love.
Relationships are evolutionary and if our understanding of that was a natural part of the life we live, then change would be viewed very differently and choices within the relationship celebrated.
What’s written here is rarely discussed and many people do not grow as a result. Even if we choose to not grow to be honest about that choice, that it is a choice and not hidden behind blame, can keep the door open for evolution when we so choose.
We are creatures of habit and don’t like change, but without change we stagnate and no longer grow.. When one person in a relationship decides to change this can often cause a reaction in another and this is where being able to express how we feel and allow an understanding is so important, without this, the reaction can escalate and all understanding is lost. Communication is such an important part of a relationship and allows two people to grow and evolve without the need for conflict
‘The thing I have found confronting at times to accept and take responsibility for, is that there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’ This is something I often struggle with as well, Joel. Mainly because to acknowledge that connection means that I also have to acknowledge that I have a responsibility to make the choices that are directly linked to those levels of love and joy. And that means what I choose has much, much more to do with how I experience life than I am willing to admit.
We invest in relationships being a certain way and often that investment is about keeping them ‘comfortable’ so that we don’t have to feel what is not ‘comfortable’. The extremes of what is available are exposed in this blog and also the absolute joy and deepening of our relationship with ourselves can be felt. It all comes back to being honest and the choices we are open to making. We all seek true connection and love and when this is not happening in our lives we can feel it. What you are sharing Joel is universal and is something that is available to us all. Isn’t this why we are here? Isn’t this our responsibility – to choose to get more honest, real and loving in our relationships?
Too often our relationships are born out of need and not true connection, and thus the complications that follow. One of the “difficult” things about basing a relationship on love as being the barometer is that one is then inevitably forced to face up to everthing that does not match by compare.
This is beautiful Joel. My relationship with my children has evolved and is expanding since I took more responsibility for myself and took the pressure away of wanting life to be a certain way for them. They are left with the freedom to be themselves and this has resulted in more openness, acceptance and love and connection between us.
Yes Brendan, I feel that too, that is ok, a relationship naturally ending because one wants to grow and the other doesn’t. This often happens with friendships so why it should be considered not the done thing with relationships.
Like everything relationships too will experience the evolutionary pull to be more loving in what is being expressed.
I too have felt this strongly Joel in many relationships and a period of unease or discomfort can often be felt before a period of growth and expansion if resistance is not the choice.
Its awesome the number of opportunities afforded to us in relationship.
I love how you share that this is only the beginning. It feels to me that with relationships, it is always just the beginning.
So true relationships are always challenged as each person undergoes change, or chooses to resist change. It has been wonderful to experience how choosing love allows change through surrender and in relationship how can harmony abide as change occurs.
Joel – I have seen many relationships change and deepen since Universal Medicine has started to inspire people to take more responsibility. Sure – some relationships I had have ended – but I know this is because they were based on a need rather than love. But I have several relationships that have flourished simply because I understand the enormity of my choices. The relationship with my husband has the ability to deepen every single day, and I am just loving getting to know him more and more simply because we have started to talk about how we are feeling or what is going on for us each day. Simple, yes, but there can be so many things we observe, feel or think each day, that is important to discuss and talk about together. Universal Medicine has shown me that there is no end to the depth of love we can welcome into any relationship.
I acknowledge Joel’s point about how one person in a relationship chooses to develop their quality of life and then the other has a decision to make – do I resist or do I change along with them? It is wonderful to be in a relationship where we embrace each others choices to change and deepen our self love. I can testify that all the other qualities of playfulness, joy and harmony are steadily building because of this choice to not resist.
This is lovely to read, as it is a truth, there is always a choice to grow together or grow apart, and it is all our own responsibility to be honest with others and see that growing together needs a constant evolution, not stagnation.
Thank you Joel, relationships are totally revitalized by using the simple but loving experience of being truly loving as presented by Serge Benhayon.
For more about Serge Benhayon go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=SERGE+BENHAYON
Great question Joel. Since attending Universal Medicine presentations all of my relationships have changed dramatically for the better. The equality in my relationships now is magically and something I used to think was not possible.
How deep is love? There’s always more on offer. The many continuing presentations of the Ageless Wisdom by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine reveal the expansion that being love allows, conditional love on the other hand has kept me stagnant and weary.
Since I have been learning to deepen my own connection to love, whilst in a relationship, I have found that I am developing a deeper connection with my family through being more honest, talking from truth and not speaking to avoid confrontation or reaction i.e. no longer calibrating .
It is a work in progress but definitely worth pursuing.
Since I became a student of Universal Medicine I have entered a new relationship and that relationship is with myself. I have found a love and joy in this relationship that spreads to every other relationship I have with my husband, family, friends and all I meet.
Reading this Joel is very confirming of what I experience with my partner and demonstrates the natural evolving nature of every relationship.
At first I experience the discomfort which signals to me that something needs evolving. At that point I have a choice to express and share what I feel openly with my partner.
It is then up to us both to make the choice to evolve with the natural energetic pull of love or alternatively we can choose individually or together to resist and reach for numerous things that may assist in covering up the discomfort that follows.
A Beautiful reflection of what is possible when two people choose to live with open hearts and to evolve a relationship together. Universal Medicine has offered another way to be in life and to be in relationship with all others – it feels like what is true is returning and we are re-connecting to the love we are.
Beautifully said Joel, from my observations over the past 10 years with Universal Medicine I have seen many marriages deepen their quality and continually evolve through the true love and support offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presentations.
I have a very different view about relationships after having been to Universal Medicine, my relationship with my mother has greatly changed, we are more open with one another, and it is a far more loving relationship than we ever had before.
You could add my name to the list Joel. I would agree with all you have written. My relationship is forever expanding and deepening as my livingness increases. Universal Medicine has only improved what we had, it has been challenging but worth every challenge.
I just met a new man and we are building a relationship and I absolutely love to bring into practice all that I have learned over the last years through Universal Medicine. I am so much more open, understanding but mostly more honest. I share how I feel, express openly when I go into reaction or when I have a strong opinion which makes me harden up a bit. It is so beautiful to start a relationship like this, open, honest and with a deep appreciation for each other.
Great what you share here Brendan, I agree, people have pictures about what relationships ‘should’ or shouldn’t be about. The romanticised version that seeks to be happy all the time and there to be no challenges along the way. This is not true evolution in a relationship. Which is, always growing, seeking deeper development within oneself and each other.
The title of your blog Joel has really caught my eye. In the past there has been much criticism in the media and from several blog sites on the internet regarding Universal Medicine and claims of it destroying relationships (how healthy these relationships were in the first place could well be debatable and also worth considering) but disappointingly none about ‘how many marriages and relationships have been improved’. I wonder why this is so for is there not 2 sides to every story? As you have shared in this blog the ever deepening love of your own relationship has been well and truly supported by what Universal Medicine presents and thus is a living testament not to be ignored, discounted or underestimated in any way.
There is no doubt that everyday in the school of life we learn, and this learning is the platform that gives us the opportunity to develop and grow. What is beautiful and one of the most inspirational ways to develop as a person is through our relationships with others ‘so as one person grows it gives the other person a choice’ to come with them, or not.
Thank you Joel I agree, there is only one true religion that allows each of us individually the space to find our own Livingness. No imposing just the simplicity of us all equally being the Sons of God on our own path of return.
I agree with you Brendan that everything that is not loving is about protection and playing games. When we do choose love it feels incredibly freeing and expansive. It is the only way to go.
‘Growing together or apart’, those really are the two choices you have in a relationship. Is the relationship going to continue to build on its foundation, to evolve and deepen in connection or is the relation going to stop growing and in that actually start to grow apart. I feel this can be applied to all relationships and have felt a fundamental shift in many of my relationships for the better since I started to live in The Way of The Livingness.
My experience has been that the more I commit to deepening my own experience the more I must accept continual change. If really recognise this then it can be easier to accept that someone else’s deepening will also change the circumstances of our relationship.
I am finding this as well Tim, Love calls for change naturally so and it’s wanting things to stay the same that stagnate relationships. With ourselves, with others, our place in life, with everything! Understanding and accepting that part of life is that it changes and moves up and out of the comfort of familiarity to evolve brings much greater joy and lightness to life than working hard and exhausting myself to keep things the same.
It is so important to truly appreciate what the teachings of Universal Medicine have brought, there have been so many changes to many lives and so in relationships.
How amazing has my life become and all this is thanks to Universal Medicine. Applying the very simple principles that Serge Benhayon presents has been a life changer, and it is allowing me to live in much more loving joy than I felt possible. So I absolutely agree with you Joel and thank you for another amazing blog.
As a humble student of the presentations of Serge Benhayon my feeling is that the love that is shared by and lived by the students of the Livingness is just the start of the reflection of what God is sharing with us! Thank you Joel.
Joel, yes letting go and really allowing ourselves to ‘go there’ with ourselves and in our relationships with others is the key to a true, evolving relationship.
With all the wonderful Relationship workshops and Presentations by Serge Benhayon, surely we who have participated In these would be in a position better than most to look at what is needed to grow our relationships and marriages. Also seeing the changes in how men and woman relate , plus respect the equality that we have, is huge.
Growing together or apart is always a choice. Sometimes the growing has to be done apart – and that is not a bad thing, it can evolve both if that is what is required.
Yes Shelly I agree, Sometimes the growing has to be done apart for us to deeply connect to ourselves when a relationship does not support our self love and appreciation.
Joel there is no doubt that the quality, love and depth of my marriage is at a point that I could not have even considered possible before coming to Universal Medicine. The improvement have been beyond dreams yet is simple, practical and deeply loving. A level of normal that is beautiful to be part of.
Absolutely stunning to see all the comments made on this blog. I have found relationships very powerful; it is up until recently (since I became associated with Universal Medicine) that I have turned my relationships around – in a good way. At first I would be expecting people to be my friends, having family only blood related, making sure the relationships were with people I wanted etc. This was from a place within myself that I did not felt met, I was just not myself. Since knowing Serge Benhayon and the whole family I am beginning to understand what relationships are in truth and what they mean. I realised:
– that true relationships are not based on needs, but on allowance and understanding.
– that true relationships are not to be manipulated.
– that true relationships are about love and truth.
– that true relationships are about deepening and self-development.
– that true relationships are enjoyable, fun and real.
And at last.. true relationships are never ever about games or taking each other down or playing small either, as our true reflection needs to have the upper hand.
Thanks to Universal Medicine I now know this within me and have felt it. Now with the best of my ability I am implementing this in my life to make sure I make my life about true relationships, not the old.
Joel, you can put us on your list! My relationship with my husband is expanding so much more than what I could ever imagine. I now realise how little our relationship used to be about evolution but was just about getting by, parenting, making living etc. The connection and commitment to ourselves, each other and to the wider community which we feel today is amazing and we both appreciate what gorgeous journey we are on.
It is sometimes confronting to see someone else step up in the love they have for themselves, but to not choose to react but to grow with them is the key to a truly loving relationship. That is only evolving.
I absolutely agree Joel. I have many relationships in my life that have deepened so much in the true love that they hold, and others that simply that would not have occurred had I not involved the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and Universal Medicine in my life. My choices in relationships based on these teachings have allowed a quality in my life and relationships that are not only blossoming, but I learn so much from every day. And I know it inspires others to do the same. This is a true blessing, and one I am constantly appreciative of.
Absolutely Joel my relationship has developed beyond amazing; as my relationship with my wife expands so too do all my relationships, to the point where I call an extraordinary amount of people true family.
Absolutely Brendan, I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and to each other? This level of love with integrity and responsibility has returned me to be the divine being I naturally am and all this has come through the inspiration that Serge Benhayon has brought to my life.
All my relationships have completely changed as I have let go of expectations. The depth of love has changed as I have been more allowing. There is more openness and honesty in communication with each other and acceptance of choices made.
Same for me. I always tried to improve my relationships, but I never considered that it was not the others who had to start with the changes, but me. I can change no one except myself, but If I live differently, I can inspire others to do the same and open up.
In answer to your question Joel, I would have to say many. What you have described here happens in all relationships, and a steady commitment to growing as a person is to be encouraged. Each person must make their own choices, and learn from them, some want to explore the sidetracks, and some want to accelerate down the highway of love, each get to feel the consequences of their choices.
Absolutely Joel, our harmonious relationship with self, by honoring our “deep connection”, ‘inner-most’ or ‘esoteric’, is the foundation, which brings an unquestionable “responsibility” to hold onto that love, which is the “deep connection”. By allowing my awareness to not get caught in the mundane emotional outplays, which used to plague my relationships before Universal Medicine, has also allowed me to “bring a greater depth of love” to each and every interaction. My feeling is when looking into all the ‘esoteric relationships’ there would be a long list of improvements across the board in a broad spectrum of relationships.
Joel my marriage has completely improved in the way we communicate. It came down to loving myself first and feeling the joy within me, that inspired my husband to make loving choices for himself. Together we are growing deeper in our relationship with openest, honesty and communication.
Thank you Joel, the miracles that have happened in relationships because of Universal Medicine is more to do with both partners taking responsibility for their own actions. As the Livingness is the foundation or platform that brings a lived truth then it is simple when both partners as well as humanity, are felt with no judgment, just an allowing.
Universal Medicine calls us back to feel the love we naturally carry within , to express and live this love in all that we do.
As I see and experience it relationships get more honest as layers are peeled back and a greater opportunity to share real and genuine love exists.
How refreshing!!
Our own friendships, work relationships not just marriages and intimate relationships have improved beyond sight with the deep and loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Absolutely Lee, love provides so much in every relationship, even down to the person we meet in the street!
So beautifully shared lee, I thank you for your commitment to your relationship because through this snippet into your life I feel the absolute reflection of how a relationship can be and how much it can develop over time.
Add Victoria and I to that list of yours Joel…
As you share, Joel, it is not always easy when one of us in our relationship evolves but it is always worth it. Also increasingly it is becoming less of a challenge and more of a celebration as with every time there is a deepening of our appreciation of each other, ourselves and of what love is.
Opening up to moving forward together is the first step. Embracing the potential it brings if one of us is stepping up instead of fighting it, will be heaven on earth.
That certainly would be a list worth seeing and I am very proud to say my wife and I would be on it. However, if it was not for the Ageless Wisdom and the Way of the Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon I would not be able say that with the confidence that I do.
This is such a great sharing Joel and so true. After almost 36 years of marriage and family, the last 12 years with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon as the inspiration, the wisdom and love offered is absolutely amazing to our lives and everything we hold dear and treasure in ourselves and in each other. Working together on the deepening of love and true understanding could only come from all we are offered to see and allow ourselves to be. A great reflection worth pondering on with all the suffering in relationships out there in the world.Thank you.
Beautifully said Kristy. The wearing off of the shine after the honeymoon period is over is for any relationship actually when a deeper understanding of each other starts to evolve and if you are both open to it, the true sparkle of your union can continue to come to light and be developed together.
My wife and I have been married for 26 years and have experienced more growth in our relationship in the last 8 years since being involved with Universal Medicine than at any other stage in our marriage. The individual growth we experience presents us (as a couple) with opportunities to go to a deeper level of love together.
Peter my experience is similar to yours. I have been with my partner for 25 years and would say that I have felt more growth in the last 9 months than I have previously felt in the last 20 years. Growth being a verb, a word of action, a sign that there is movement, of opportunity of going somewhere, of change. It’s an amazing feeling.
Joel I would agree there are many relationships that have been given a new lease on life in the Student body, thanks to the Teachings of Universal Medicine. They are very obvious to me, the joy, love and harmony they share.
Its true Joel, where are the stories in the media from the people who have attended Universal Medicine events and have transformed their relationships in such a way that it makes them ‘feel like it’s only beginning’.
Thank you Brendon, this is a timely reminder for me. It is so easy to get caught up in the reactions, the hurts and who said what etc when being loving with each other is the key and the foundation.
I can confidently say many many relationships have blossomed and are more full as a result of choosing to deepen their love for themselves and each other. Nothing I saw around me reflected a true, committed and honest relationship before coming to Universal Medicine. Just listening to Serge Benhayon talk not only about his family but about everyone he meets inspired me to look at the way I spoke about others and myself.
It would be an amazing, inspiring list to see Joel, along with maybe before and after photos and interviews!
In answer to your question Joel, I would say many, and not merely improved but the quality and purity of love has been lived.
Most relationships experience one person growing in bringing more love and that it is no longer true to continue with a particular behavior, it is here that the partner may feel as though the rules are changing. There is no rules just opportunity to grow and learn and deepen the love. It is a crime against nature to hold back, or hold someone else back. It is beautiful to see a couple supporting each other and bursting with their expanding love.
Absolutely Bernard Cincotta. The growth and expansion of each other and the deepening of love shared and lived is what true relationship is all about. Yet it is so common place these days to remain stagnant where both get into a stable and comfortable stalemate of how they live and when someone does step up another level so to speak to be more of who they truly are, the other actually does try to bring them down like blowing down their ever growing house of cards. This is most definitely not true love and evolution yet is lived as though it is by many.
Thank you Joel, I agree, for me true loving “responsibility” starts ‘at home’ first with myself and then with my partner, and as we both grow in the love that we innately are our relationship also develops into more love “than I could ever have expected love to be.”
When I depend on my partner to be responsible for the level of joy and love I feel – it all goes very pear shaped! Your opening sentence Joel has really brought me to account and exposed this dependency at a very poignant time. If I am not making choices that support me living love and the true joy I am then I can’t expect anyone else to be doing it for me. This actually feels quite empowering to nominate and know that the responsibility is my own.
As I read this, this line stood out for me “This is not a Universal Medicine phenomenon, but rather something most relationships experience… as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. ” I would add to this, that while this is not a Universal Medicine phenomenon, it has only been through Universal Medicine that I have truly begun to take responsibility (without resentment, blame etc) for this choice, and with this, to allow another to take responsibility for theirs.
Absolutely Brendan, I have learned to see when one of us chooses more love that it is indeed an opportunity to go deeper in love with ourself and together.
Relationships cannot be static, for it has a natural tendency to deepen. Even the constant foundation of love, connection, appreciation and support will ask us to constantly explore deeper levels.
Beautifully said Michael – the key for me here is to come back to that foundation to go deeper when those reactions surface to be cleared. I’ve been noticing that reactions are a distraction and can somewhat blind me to the deepening on offer.
What Universal Medicine fundamentally changed in my life is that I do not want anything to stay as it was anymore. Offering each other the gift of growing together is an amazing gift and not a challenge at all, if we are really open to willing to constantly go deeper. What I have discovered is that the more challenging such an invitation does appear at first sight, the more there is for me to learn out of it. Pretty cool :o).
I have been attending Universal Medicine presentations for 5 years now and I can say I have witnessed so many relationships deepening and blooming as a result of the teachings. My own relationship with my partner is deepening daily and I know this would not have been possible if it was not for Universal Medicine. Five years ago I realised how individualistic I was and how many barriers to love I had put up: with the support of Universal Medicine I have brought many of these walls down and instead I am fully opening up to love and committing to evolving together. This is truly beautiful and a situation I feel blessed to be in.
Thank you Samantha, this is so light, bright, and uplifting.
I agree samanthaengland, “This is truly beautiful and a situation I feel blessed to be in.” My relationship with myself before Universal Medicine, says a lot about my relationship with my husband. I was quick to ridicule, push myself to the side, indulge in issues, disregard and disrespect, blame… you get the picture! Its funny now looking back, that I never considered what I was like with myself affected how I was in relationships… I liken it now to holding a mirror in front of my face; it all reflects back how I am with me.
I agree Joel I have witnessed many relationships develop and blossom with the support of Universal Medicine. It is inspiring to see and feel so many couples deepen their love for each other and build a true relationship – I have no doubt the list would be amazing.
Yes that would be a great list to see, that what you share here is a beautiful understanding of relationships, it is to grow together to more love.
I like how you say ‘as one person grows it gives the other person a choice’. It does and though we quite often like to fight it instead of growing with them, there should not be any reason to not make our next step towards more of us.
To see the changes in your relationship are pretty inspiring Joel- you as individuals and you together- both growing more gorgeous in your own right, but also more together and its great to see that ‘spark’ and deepening love come back into a long term relationship.
If we walk every new step in life lovingly, we might challenge others, but we do offer them the chance to feel inspired and walk with us. What is important is to honour their choices as well as ours and not try to drag anyone along with us.
A beautiful sharing Joel, how your relationship has improved and you both have taken the chance to grow together instead of growing apart! It is such a life- and relationship changing perception, to become responsible for the level of love and joy, we experience. And to face the challenge and chance to grow, when my partner does so. Through what I have learned and developed from the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I feel the same as you have shared here, that the relationship with my partner is “more than I have ever expected love to be” and that this “feels like just the beginning”. And in addition I feel absolutely blessed to be in love and growing together with many people around me in a way, I have desired my whole life to be with a partner.
Letting go of expectations around others ‘getting it’ and taking responsibility just for our part is so different from how many relationships run but when I am able to step back and do just that, there is so much more space for both of us to grow.
Spot on Helen – love how you’ve expressed this. It’s so simple in theory yet to remember in practice can be sometimes challenging. When we let go of investments and the nagging need of control over how others are, then it absolutely gives grace for everyone to be where they are at…and we cannot grow or evolve if we do not feel and appreciate where we are at first.
Yes Helen, for me this has been quite challenging and exposing at times- as the need to control my external environment creeps in- just so I can feel safe. Also needing others “to get it”- is something I am learning to let go of as I focus on building more love in my body. I am finding (just like you say) that if I step back and give others space, and accept where they are at I then appreciate what we each bring to the relationship, instead of focusing on the ideal of what a relationship should look like.
Very true Helen, the nature of love is neither controlling or forceful but rather a gentle allowing and accepting of where the other is at. “Letting go of expectations around others ‘getting it’ and taking responsibility” has been a big part of my relationship. And I agree being “able to step back and do just that, there is so much more space for both of us to grow”.
How wonderful Joel that after 17 years of marriage it feels like it is only just beginning, this is unusual as it is usually the other way around, that love stagnates and we loose the sparkle that was once there. Allowing each other to be, within a relationship and supporting each other to grow without pressure or blame and exceptions of how a relationship should be, makes sense and gives permission for the love to naturally grow between each other.
To grow together or to grow apart is a choice as you say Joel. My husband and I have been married for 20 years and we have done more growing together in the time that we have been involved with Universal Medicine than ever before. Not always easy I might add but a loving commitment to grow together has supported us in finding the way.
From my own experience all past/present relationships are now flowing in a very different way as I express more openly and allow others to do the same. This was not always the case (before attending Universal Medicine presentations) until I realised that choosing to take responsibility for my choices in life would open up so much more joy and unconditional love. There has been ripples as mentioned before if one partner makes changes it can be difficult for the other to re-adjust. Little steps at a time but keeping everything open and based on love and truth – then joy is ever present. The way you share these pearls of wisdom with us all Joel flow so naturally and a joy to read. Thank you.
I love what you are explaining here Joel. Often times 1 person in a relationship will react or blame the other when they begin making choices that they weren’t making up until that point. These shifts give both partners the opportunity to grow and develop personally as well as deepen the level of relationship between them. However, if both people are not open to having the areas of their life that were not truly serving them cast into light it can cause tension as one steps up and the other hold on to what they’ve lived up until that point.
No matter what type of the relationship whether friend or partner, understanding, respecting and honouring of each others choices is one of the keys. Whether we choose to allow the relationship to keep expanding and evolving or not, it is the grace we can do this with. It is inspiring to see relationships evolving through this way of deep regard and care for each other. I have seen many, many, students of Universal Medicine whose relationships flourish and grow this way.
Through committing to The Way of the Livingness I can honestly say the relationship I have with my husband continues to deepen, evolve and become more loving and truthful every day. We have times when we see each other as our behaviours and not who we truly are, but when this happens, we are able to step back and see the wood for the trees because of the willingness to let go of making it all so personal. It’s a constant unfolding and learning but as you say Joel, it just gets better and better.
So beautiful and honest Lucy. One of the many many things that have stood out for me since coming to the Way of the Livingness, is how we can not truly love another if we don’t first love ourselves. This was a big ouch moment, as all the ‘I love you’s’ are kind of ‘null and void’. It made total sense and I knew it in every cell of my body. It also exposed my lack of responsibility. Not all like to take this level of responsibility, and so in turn react and choose to discount and ridicule. I appreciate everyday the awareness I now have and the willingness to see what is really going on in my relationship with myself, my husband and everyone. A constant unfolding process.
I know what you mean about the ‘I love you’s’ Aimee. I became very ascetic for a while and felt I couldn’t say it at all because I knew I didn’t love myself, but really I threw the baby out with the bath water because in expressing it I have come to feel the quality that is there when I say it, and have been able to feel the deepening of my love for myself through my expressions of love for my husband.
That’s true Joel there is always a choice…to grow together, or apart. As I make more loving choices the depth to my relationships continues to develop. My relationship with myself is crucial with the choice to take responsibility to make loving and nurturing choices to deepen my connection to my body and express truth.
Yes, the relationship with yourself in crucial as this is the starting point for all relationships. The more love, understanding, respect, appreciation, care and honesty I have in this relationship, the more I bring this to all my relationships. My own relationship is the starting point.
Thank you Joel and Marietta, I agree, to connect to the wisdom to understand that we actually have a “choice” to bring in our ‘will’, eventually leads to ‘loving choices’ that fill me with the feeling of being divine, by the freedom of a “choice” to live connected to my divinity.
So true Mariette. Although I am the one who attends Universal Medicine talks and workshops my relationship with my husband has greatly improved thanks to my connection back to myself. My relationship with myself has transformed the way I interact with others in ways that I could not have imagined a few years ago.
Very true Margaret, the relationship with ourselves is crucial and provides a real foundation for relationship with another. It has been my experience that when I don’t love and appreciate myself all relationships are based on need, however when I do feel and embrace the glory that lives inside me, I naturally flow over sharing this joy with others.
I like what you’ve written here Joel, having been with my partner now for 27 years and nine of them whilst attending Universal Medicine courses. One thing that has shifted within our relationship has been to actually talk to each other and if there is a tension to address it and not let it fester into resentment for years on end.
I like what you are saying here Julie, to talk about the things that come up and not sweep them under the carpet and let them sit there and have them grow into something bigger than necessary. Not addressing what comes up and presents itself to be dealt with is like holding onto old stuff that is simply not needed anymore but remains a heavy load we carry with us every day.
I would agree with you Julie- true communication within a relationship is paramount, and to ‘nip in the bud’ any issues before they fester and cause long term resentment and depression.
lorettarapp, it is true when we let things fester they become shackles that weigh us down. We need to pull everything out from under the carpet and see it for what it is.
Absolutely Julie, you have to talk about whatever is getting in the way of love. Often there is things said that reinforce the problem, blame, or shut out the other person. This also needs to be lovingly called out with the knowing that everybody wants love and the benefits of bringing more love into the relationship are immeasurable.
Thank you Joel and Bernie, I agree, my relationship has improved beyond any point that I would have ever considered love would have taken me back to.
So so true Joel, It amazes me how anyone can suggest Universal Medicine breaks up relationships! This could not be further from the truth, I know many couples who are now living true love and whose relationships are better then ever before thanks to the inspiration of Universal Medicine. My own relationship with my partner has deepened and flourished because we are dedicated and committed to dealing with what comes up and evolving together. Without the love and support of Universal Medicine I feel we would have nowhere near as much love for ourselves and for each other as we do so now.
Absolutely samanthaengland, with the lived love as presented by Universal Medicine it is so easy to always see the fullness of every relationship, and thus the relationship “flourishes.”
I feel the same Brendan, the more loving choices I make the richer my relationships become.
It would be a list worth seeing, people tend to make lists of the doom and gloom relationships and forget about the ever-expanding relationships of love. I for one would not have the amazing person who walks next to me still, if the way of The Livingness wasn’t part of our lives.
I have to agree kimweston2. I may have my husband beside me, however it may only be in the flesh and not the connection that we have been able to develop with the support of the way of the livingness.
One of the many benefits from my 15 year relationship with Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family, Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness is that I am a much easier person to be in relationship with – therefore every one of my relationships is improved.
Although the time frame for me having association with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has been a lot less, my situation is exactly the same. I too am a much easier person to be with simply because I have been able to begin developing a true relationship with myself, and as a result, have experienced being able to develop a true relationship with others, and they with me.
Something I have noticed is how significantly the relationship I have had with myself has changed to one that is almost unrecognisable to the one I had in the past. It is from this relationship with myself that all other relationships have improved.
Awesome testimony Joel. So wonderful to choose the opportunity to put all that you have learnt into practice. The outcome sounds pretty amazing.
Everyone grows and everyone changes. This is inevitable and I have discovered those tensions in my marriage when this happens just as you say. Universal Medicine has enriched my life and my marriage immeasurably, allowing us each to grow and more so allowing me to understand that allowing others to develop their own pace is essential. This has taken so much pressure of our relationship because I know in the past I was full of expectations and ideals that I have been gradually discarding. We move and grow and allow each other the space they need.
Me too Brendan, I experience much more understanding, allowing, accepting, supporting within my relationships since applying the tools presented by Universal Medicine.
I would suggest there would be a long list of relationships that have grown deeper and stronger, within those who are involved with Uni Med
This is beautiful Joel, and true ! I can feel how I am loving to hear how this is just the beginning and that there is so much more , even after a marriage of plus 17 years.. Or so.. I love how love is never overlooked or done with, it is forever evolving.. And not just for two! I like that alot, it is for everyone to share and see with.
I agree Danna – it is very reassuring to know that Love is never done with developing! If a relationship is stale it can’t be blamed on a lack of love – a lack of communication or intimacy perhaps but not Love. Love is endless.
Great awareness Joel and i love how after an already long marriage you feel you are just at the beginning. You offer huge inspiration and understanding to all, whether we are in an intimate relationship or not, for the same holds true for all our relationships – we can either choices to grow together or apart. Together is truly joyful.
‘ …as one person grows it gives the other person a choice.’ This is vital for all relationships and needed for each relationship to continue to flourish – it is in these moments that we get to hold firm and ask the other to join us on the new platform – this is amazing to feel when you step up – and yet can also be confronting and challenging. More love between you is the end result and more platforms to build together.
…and as the platforms continue to be built together, so does the mutual building of a deeper and more nurturing love. Beautifully said Lee.
We currently live in a a throw-away society, and our approach to relationships is no different. If it is broken, throw it away and get a new one. And always driving this phenomena is the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side. Of course, there comes a point in many relationships where the truth is that the relationship is too damaged to be saved, and so in many instances, a new start cannot ever be condemned or judged. However, in many cases we are too quick to throw away that which could be rectified simply by each party being willing to be just a little more open to what is creating the cracks in the first place. A willingness to be open and honest often opens doors that we never imagined were possible.
True statement Adam. I totally agree. Although I find that what’s often the case is that there is usually only one party member ready to look deeper while the other simply isn’t ready to go there. But, if there was more practice at this in society it would certainly be on people’s radar more as an option of how to work on the relationship before giving up.
I love this simple observation Joel: “as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules, at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.”
The ‘changing the rules’ in relationships is an interesting topic.
The rules are very closely connected to a contract of sorts that is being signed in the background when you begin a relationship. So to change the rules, changes the comfort and when you react to this it simply shows how invested you have been in the rules rather
than your truth and truly evolving.
I agree Shannon we invest in security rather than in going for grow together without any condition on the other who is involved in the relationship. And Joel you can add us to your list, Nico and I are in a marriage for 25 years now and we allow our relationship to evolve, to deeply let love in and have so much joy together and with our family. The assistance of Universal Medicine has been and is gold for our marriage and more!
Beautifully expressed Shannon.
Thank you Nicole, this is an great account of how honouring yourself as a woman leads a man to do the same without any imposition.
Answer to your question Joel. There could be many if the relationships have two understanding, committed and willing people to being open in making changes when necessary and grow together in deepening their love.
The way I am in relationship with everyone – family, friends, colleagues, clients and customers – changes continually and depending on the single choice I make in any moment – which is to choose to be Love whereby the relationship deepens instantly an extraordinary way (and I don’t mean in a schmaltzy or airy fairy way but by becoming True and truly open), or I choose to focus on a pattern that identifies me as individual whereby I am instantly adversarial, demanding, needy, judgemental and defensive … and interaction becomes a kind of an emotional battle field !!
This is a ‘good news story’ Joel. One that is not society’s general norm. Its great to read the comments from Universal Medicine students confirming that deeply committed, loving, caring and evolving relationships are in fact their norm. Hmm….Extra, extra, read all about it!
Since I got to know Universal Medicine, all my relationships have deepened towards more truth, more expression, more commitment – quite outstanding!
You pose the question, Joel, as to how many other marriages have improved by making changes and I can say that my marriage has definitely improved. The improvements are the things that you have mentioned. My wife and I have a closeness and intimacy that I had dreamed a marriage should have but until we started making the changes we have in recent years that connection was a dream instead of a reality. Of course it is not perfect but an aspect of the closeness is the confidence that when issues arise they are opportunities to grow. The changes that we have made in the recent years, which have lead to this intimacy have definitely come about because of what Universal Medicine, and in particular Serge Benhayon, present and our willingness to explore what is presented.
I can add my marriage to this list Joel. We met at Universal Medicine event and this meeting has led us to explore more and more deeply what marriage is, how we live with another person, unfold our life’s experiences with another, heal, nourish and truly support ourselves and each other. There is ever more growing to be with – as you said it feels like a beginning and every day – like the sun rising, the sky and the relationship look fresh and brand new – what shall we write together today?
Joel, what you’re offering here is an understanding of why relationships have tension. Relationships are meant to evolve as the people within them evolve. We as people are changing all the time whether we like it or not. This may be through actively choosing evolution as is described here, or through being shaped by the experiences that come to us in life. Either way, we are not the same in relationships day to-to-day, week- to-week and year-to-year. The tension felt within relationships generally marks the resistance of one or both people to not evolve the relationship as they themselves choose evolution or are offered evolution through the events of life.
Always we have a choice to be open and vulnerable and to deepen our connection and intimacy with ourselves and others…or not. It’s lovely to feel how your relationship has developed Joel from you both being willing to go deeper.
Yes it is a choice to react and feel sorry for ourselves or step up and join and see how that could be. So often we choose the lesser option. Why would we not want our relationship to grow. Love as the foundation can only be the way.
Joel this is gorgeous, when I look around the room at Universal Medicine presentations, I am blown away by the commitment I see from couples who are making more loving choices as a result of the presentations given by Serge Benhayon.
Hi Joel, when I was younger, I once wondered why people had to work at marriage but I have now come to know that if we do not work at something there is no commitment and the marriage grows apart. It is inevitable, when we do not tend to something it doesn’t flourish and often dies.
“After seventeen years of marriage…more honesty, more playfulness, more sexiness”. Miraculous, amazing…a deep testament to the power of The Way of the Livingness to change our lives and for those lives to then inspire others. Joel, the man that you are and the relationship that you have is a living inspiration for all to see and feel.
Wow Joel what a beautiful blog. A wonderful testament to the practical teachings of Universal Medicine.
“There is always a choice grow together or grow apart’ I like that comment.
When we take responsibility and commit to evolving our relationships and work through our hurts and claim our authentic loving selves we sometimes lose relationships along the way but that’s ok, we are all evolving in our own time.
Joel you can add the marriage of one Adam Warburton and Victoria Carter to that list of marriages that have been improved with the assistance of Universal Medicine. Actually I would say, not just improved, but completely re-established.
Taking responsibility for myself and my choices has made a huge difference to the type and quality of the relationships that I now have, all thanks to the support of Universal Medicine.
Yes Joel, there is so much to appreciate and I also would like to see this long list of these forever deepening changes in relationships.
In any relationship be that with a partner, your family and friends or even your work colleagues, ‘there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart’. Beautiful blog Joel
Yes I love the simplicity in looking at relationships from this view. Simplicity is living elegantly.
This blog is a wonderful testament to the practical teachings of Universal Medicine and what is possible when we let go of our needs and hurts and open up to being truly and fully ourselves with another and what is more is when two people commit to evolving and stay open to learning I can defiantly announce that my relationship with my partner has grown and changed enormously even though at times confronting and not comfortable. The support and understanding that we have for each other is wonderful, as it is with all my relationships.
When I read your blog Joel, the topic responsibility stands out for me. The time is over to blame any one. If I react or my partner, I have to stop and read and check, what my part is of the situation. In a true relationship, both must be committed to self-responsibility, otherwise it can’t work.
My partner and I continuously pull each other to be more love and that there is a choice whether we go with this or whether we resist. This same love is reflected to me in all of my relationships within the student body. It’s a true, deep and all knowing love. Sometimes it feels like a love that has been evolving together for lifetimes. So every day I am learning to be open to an enormous level of love, a love that sometimes I feel like my heart will burst, or my body aches in pain from how much tension I have held in my body to hold my love in, and not let love in. The more I connect to feeling, surrendering and allowing the more amazing I feel and my life has become.
Through the teachings of Universal Medicine and the inspiration offered by Serge Benhayon and his family my husband of over 35 years and I have gone through a period of time over the last 4 or 5 years where we decided that we needed to separate in order to build on our relationships with ourselves outside of the marriage as we were stuck in a kind of comfort that could not move forward. This has proven to be a great choice for us as we can now see each other more clearly than ever and enjoy each others company like never before for as the love and understanding for oneself grows and blossoms so too does the love and understanding for the other. We are now building a new relationship on this very new foundation of love.
Kathleenbaldwin, this is a lovely demonstration of the fact that sometimes the best way to improve a relationship that is bogged down in comfort and convenience, may actually be to split up. This gives each one a fresh start to reconnect with themselves and ‘as the love and understanding for oneself grows and blossoms so too does the love and understanding for the other’.
It feels to me that a relationship will evolve if there is a willingness to be honest and commit to working on it together whether they are living together or not. Sometimes the hardest times offer a potential for real change. But if the couple are not both willing to support each other to move forward then they will hold each other back.
Well said Sandra, though we have to be able to support ourselves before we can even attempt to support another.
“I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?
That would be a list worth seeing!”
You can start by putting Irena Haze and Angelo Leonforte on that list worth seeing -we are working on it and making loving changes together, step by step and day by day. With much support from incredible practitioners. It is the most challenging and yet fulfilling adventure I have ever dared to be on this lifetime. For many lifetimes there was no love for me and now it is flowing again -the drought has lifted in the desolate desert of my heart. Evolution is the new constant. And to echo Simon’s words- “our connection would in no way be possible without the support and teachings of Universal Medicine”.
Me too Brendan. The depth of love I have developed in my relationships to this day, and with applying all that I now know from the Ageless Wisdom I can say that whatever relationships that lie ahead are going to be amazing, by virtue of the love that I bring to them, from deep within me first.
My marriage would in no way be possible without the support, teachings and me finding Universal Medicine. My life has changed in so many ways. Including my willingness to let someone in and allow myself to be really intimate, vulnerable, willing to look at my hurts and issues when they arise in the relationship instead of avoiding them or blaming my partner – and most of allowing myself to really enjoy in full what it is that can be shared between my wife and I. Very touching, very healing, very nurturing, fun, wonder – full and truly a place for me to evolve and understand my self and each other more each and every day.
Beautifully said Simon and with such joy. As you have so clearly expressed here allowing another in and being vulnerable can then becomes a celebration of oneself and ones partner through the reflection that is on offer to each other other.
Thank you Joel for sharing this great insight into your evolving relationship , I feel the key to all relationships is to make it all about love to hold and support each other , to stay open in understanding where another is at and to appreciate what comes up and offered not as wedge but an opportunity to grow together.
My relationships with men have improved beyond my most beautiful dreams. I used to be very needy in relationships without much love for myself and always feeling like something was missing. Now after realizing I did not love myself and working on that for some years being single, I find myself now in the most amazing relationship with a beautiful man. There is love in this relationship a lot of joy of connecting and just being together. Sometimes it is not so easy but I find that is when I do not love myself as deeply, I then cannot accept any loving gesture from anyone without getting hard and cold. This is a beautiful learning of letting myself be more loving every day.
Lieke, this is lovely what you express here and it shows how crucial it is to first develop a loving relationship with ourselves otherwise we bring our need for love to the relationship and can lose ourselves living through the other person.
Yes and that is what I love about being in a relationship that it is constantly asking me to deepen the relationship with myself, be more loving, playful, sexy, patient and adoring with myself. This results in me feeling more amazing and sharing this connection in my relationships is so beautiful.
Joel, it’s lovely to hear you say that you feel ‘we are only just beginning’. When a couple are willing to work together in relationship they do not take each other for granted or get bogged in stale old habits or hold each other back. It is always fresh and new and as the love deepens it becomes a solid foundation to support them in the tough times.
Realising that I didn’t love myself has been a major turning point in my relationships as well Lieke. Realising that unless I loved myself I couldn’t allow another to love me, as I never felt worthy of their love.
I agree with you Joel, it is so important to appreciate all our development steps, also in our partnerships, and even the so-called little steps.
Having more understanding and respect for another are key ingredients in developing intimacy and playfulness in any relationship.
Thank you Fancisco, with Joel you have both covered the essential ingredients to a continually growing, loving playful relationship. In my relationship as soon as I focus on my partner as I want him to change his choices or behaviour , the fun dies and the control dominates. When I bring it back to me and giving myself the space to learn, understand and change my choices – the openness and fun is back again – as there is no pressure for us to be a certain way.
There is such richness to be enjoyed when you allow each other to grow and deepen within a relationship. It takes courage to allow change and love, joy and laughter follow. My life and relationship have been enriched beyond measure because of the inspiration of Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon.
I have come to understand that relationships are about commitment, honesty and responsibility. When we are committed , open and honest, we are able to express our truths and in doing so allow our partners to do the same. Both partners need to take responsibility in the relationship equally, this way you are free to have fun and be joyful, this creates healthy relationships. When situations or disagreement occurs then due to the openness in the relationship they can be resolved quickly.
I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3yrs and it has changed beyond all recognition to how it was in our first year. It has been a bumpy ride as each of us has changed at different speeds and we have felt those gaps in between. There is so much more unfolding in the development of our commitment now, as is there more honesty and tenderness as our purpose deepens. This is an extraordinary journey thanks to the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine. And our commitment to a true relationship.
Joel thank you for pointing out about getting honest and taking responsibility for our choices as from there relationships can evolve and truly deepen, which allows us to bring a freshness a new beginning and certainly a playfulness as we get to re-discover each other.
Absolutely Joel and Yasmin, could you imagine a world where everyone took responsibility for there own choices?
It is sometimes hard to accept, I agree, that we are responsible for the way our relationships pan out, but in saying that It is great to know we can change the way we relate at any time. Thank You Joel for another great and simple blog.
Rereading your blog was beautiful. It is as simple as that, growing together or apart. To accept where the other is – very important, to not invest in the other to be different- very important, letting everyone make a choice for themselves and then go further, thats evolving together for me.
Thank you for setting the record straight – it is of course, as you point out, a question of getting honest and taking responsibility for our own choices and from there, a relationship can truly flourish and deepen. And that is only the beginning, as you so rightly say.
‘…there is always a choice… to grow together or to grow apart’ – Simple and powerful. I love that.
Yes, Samantha, it is empowering to know that we are not victims of circumstance but that we do have a choice in every matter and I thank Serge Benhayon for reminding us of this and for being such an amazing role model for true relationship.
Yes, Samantha, very powerful, and very true!
Thank you Samantha, my relationships have not only improved out of sight but they would be the foundation for everything else in my life that I would call astronomical
Joel you raise such an interesting point about relationship and choice. I see what you have drawn out here, as it being an offer of hand-up to join the person who’s stepped up, or not. Most cases I know, the step up to join is quite rare and too much of a challenge, unless there is the willingness to see first and then choose love as you share. The question opens up the floor to what a relationship is truly about – evolving in love, or devolving keeping the comfortable status quo out of sympathy? Clear cut for me.
Zofia you’ve touched on sympathy which I used to easily go into for another. As a result I let them (and myself) get away with all sorts of unloving, irresponsible ways. I am only seeing just how ugly sympathy really is and I know there’s more awareness to go on this!
If sympathy allows all sorts of ills stemming from a choice not to call oneself or another to be all they truly are, in this way, surely it could be called somethings that is actually evil and not get the sympathy it cries out for?!
A great article Joel. You can add us to the list. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has invited us to be much more honest about how we feel and to share our worries so that we can look underneath any problem and not allow discontent, judgement or comparison to cloud our learning to live in love together.
Sounds beautiful Joel. Relationships are always about choosing to grow and evolve together or not, and you have clearly chosen to deepen your loving connection.
This is beautiful Joel as it shows we always have a choice in our relationships, to grow, deepen and develop more loving ways of relating. The choice is ours.
Joel, I have also found my relationships have changed as there is more allowing, in my relationships, with myself and others. This has been a great change for me.
My commitment to The Way of The Livingness has allowed me to developed relationships with others that are based on love, respect, connection, equality and evolution. Now this is unheard of and feel forever grateful to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for showing me the way.
Thank you Joel and Francisco, I agree, when we choose ‘love’ in every moment our relationship to the ‘Livingness’ is returning us to be who we truly are.
We are definitely one of these couples. Thanks to Universal Medicine we could change from having a abusive relationship to one of the foundation of love.
I’d loved to see these numbers too! It in fact is work to always readjust with each other. It takes a lot of love, reflection, honesty and the will to grow together. It can be very demanding to get this constant reflection and pull to evolve. And the key here is respect and allowing the partner to be where they are at and a loving acceptance of where one is him-/herself. And many people are just looking for someone to comfort them. That’s maybe why the list would probably be a bit longer?!?
The level of love and joy I feel comes down to the choices I make – this is taking full responsibility for how I feel moment to moment, and really looking at the attachments to how we want the relationship to be or what we want to get out of them. There is a lot to reflect on here Joel, thank you for sharing.
This is absolutely it Joel, “there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.” Thank you for your beautiful example of choosing to develop your relationship into one where you move together in the love you have reclaimed.
The choice for constant growth and the letting go of any attachments, investments and goals will let a love unfold that is endless and ever-expanding, a love that does not need anything and whose only fuel is to keep yourself and the loved one constantly evolving to shine all that you are out into the world as a reflection. A reflection so beautiful and unpretentious, that it cannot but invite others to feel inspired.
Thats amazing Joel. Choosing sexiness, to grow together, and to deepen the love that is the basis of a relationship, now that is special. Usually when one person finds a deeper meaning of love in a relationship the other wants to run a million miles! But choosing to accept responsibility and grow together would be a wonderfully unifying experience.
It’s so great to read how many relationships have benefitted from the input of Universal Medicine teaching. It can be challenging, for sure, we are changing all the time, as we move forwards or hold back, but it feels to me that is how we can support each other in a relationship, by calling out when we are holding back. And it keeps the relationship vibrant and alive, change is a good thing, not to be feared. ( I would never have said that 10 years ago).
🙂 love it…that is truly inspiring. Thank You Joel (:
Great blog Joel – very simple and to the point. My marriage was going through a separation 9 years ago and I can honestly say if it was not for the Universal Medicine and what it presents about relationships, I doubt very much we would be together now.
What I am amazed about is how easy we “get over” things. We no longer take our niggly little hurts or ugly stuff to bed and we don’t harp on about it as we used to in the past. Bickering and petty stuff is not on the agenda. What is on the agenda every single day is both of us taking full responsibility for our choices, no more shouting and arguing and being sensible, deeply honest and saying how we feel. That way we move on without tension in our body or in the house.
I have known my husband for 28 years and I had never imagined that I would feel this way about him and continue to learn and grow from our relationship. I would say like you Joel this is just the beginning and I feel blessed to be married to a man who lives as I do which is first and foremost about taking self responsibility.
Thank you Joel – a beautiful blog that appreciates love can always deepen if we allow it. You are right – relationships always ask for change, as the people in them change. So we always have a choice to move towards that or away from that. Universal Medicine has allowed me to be aware of MY OWN change, and honour how my body feels not just follow where someone else is going.
It has to be truly joyful Joel to be in an intimate relationship and at the same time to be inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine showing what it means and how it looks to be in a truly loving relationship that’s about evolving and expanding the people involved.
I can really affirm what you say Joel. If it had not been for Universal Medicine my partner and I would not still be together today and growing in deeper loving relationship with each other all the time. This takes constant observing and acknowledging to each other what is going on. It is being strong in calling the other to account and accepting our own sticking places. It requires the utmost honesty and truth of how we are feeling at any time. It is being playful and light, and able to listen and be open to the other. It keeps us lively and alive, and most important of all, loving. It is entirely new approach for both of us, and worth every bit of it.
“there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience”, and “as one person grows it gives the other person a choice”. These two statements really resonate with me and are very applicable to my ‘past’ relationships and where they are now. I’ve found that often when I’ve grown, my partner’s choice has been to hold back and pull away, not wanting to face the hurts that come up when the choice is there to heal them and expand love. So as couples, we are ‘past’. But learning to stay with me in my own love and joy, without attachment or reaction to what another person chooses, has allowed a new blossoming of my relationships with past partners – not as couples any more, but as friends who can love without reservation. This is great ‘practice’ for how it can be in any kind of relationship!
I find this with many of my relationships, that at any one time we are pulling each other up to a deeper level of love within ourselves and with each other. I am learning to extend this into all my relationships.
In the early days of my relationship when my partner moved forward I dug my heels in and often had thoughts of she is going to out grow me. This wasn’t the case at all but it is these thoughts that often lead to behaviours that can sabotage a relationship. When someone steps forward it is confronting to be left standing in your puddle of choices so it can be easier to try to bring the other person down than look at your life.
It has been an interesting 10 years in re-discovering the women I married 25 years ago. We have had to look at the comfort we had been living with for all those years. We had never challenged each other for an easy life. We had both bought into this type of life…we both were looking something outside of us to make us complete… when all along we had what we where seeking but forgot what it was… self-love. We are now in love with ourselves and with each other. We are still working on it but we are having fun doing it.
What a beautiful sharing Joel, relationships are about growing together, we always have a choice to grow and unfold together or grow apart. I too can say my marriage is more open, honest and playful.
Joel, I love what you have written.
Life brings so many opportunities to bring a greater level of love, awareness, and expansion in each moment we can choose whether to take this up or not. I find it easy to drift through life numb to these precious gifts when left to my own devices, yet when another person is in front of me, showing me that there is more because I can see they have taken one extra step, it is difficult to stay numb and ignore it.
I know from experience of being at both ends of this scenario, that the initial sneaky attempt is to drag the person showing the reflection down in whatever way possible. Because then we can both carry on in the same old comfortable cycle.
But if we take a moment, we see what a gift it is. Can we instead say thank you to the person who is so beautifully providing the reflection as if in neon lights so that we cannot miss it even if we try, and allow our self to be inspired and have a go at taking our own next step. I am learning to do this more and more every day.
Its awesome and amazing when we start taking responsibly for our own love and joy when in a relationship, I completely agree Joel.
It takes the need and pressure off the other person to fulfil our needs.
I can only agree that I’ve been taking more care of myself and been more self loving in the past few years. But this hasn’t improved my relationship at all. What I’ve realised recently (in an exposing healing session ) is that I have been in great judgement of my partner
( horrid behaviour! ) instead of being loving and accepting him for the lovely man he is. Now I am more accepting of him, he is loving being loved and our relationship is blossoming, we are teenagers again. A huge thank you to Universal Medicine teachings.
This is beautiful Gill. I too have been more loving and caring of myself yet my relationship hasn’t changed in the way of more loving. I can see how judgemental I have been and now I observe myself when this arises. I am learning also to open up and accept him for the sensitive, playful and caring man he is.
Top blog Joel and I would like to put my name on that list. Without the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, I have no doubt our relationship would have deteriorated to the point of breakdown. All of these amazing changes due to the simple step of taking responsibility for all our choices and as you say, we are really only just beginning.
Beautiful Joel, ‘There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ I feel this too with my partner. Over the last five years, since attending Universal Medicine courses, I have been taking much more care of myself and I react less and less when things come up between me and my partner, I am much more understanding and it feels like we are growing together, appreciating each other and our family more every day, and I feel similar to you that this is only the beginning.
I agree Joel. My relationship of 13 years is now more amazing than I could have ever imagined. This doesn’t mean that it’s easy, we are each growing and developing our connection to self and being more loving and asking the other to be more love also. This is not necessarily easy, taking responsibility for all of our choices, but the depth of love in our relationship is truly amazing. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I can feel this in my relationship as well, Lee. The depth of our commitment and love is amazing but equally any small “cracks” in the relationship are exposed so quickly now. Once these “cracks” may have taken weeks to heal, we can now with honesty and connection work through these in hours or less! The challenge to be more love is always there but so well worth the commitment to being this.
Brilliant blog Joel, I love what you’ve shared. It inspires me to appreciate my relationship and to reflect how I have been and where I am at with taking responsibility. I have realised that after almost 4 years of attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops that I have only recently began to fully take responsibility in my relationship of 14 years. I am learning to allow space, playfulness, appreciation, intimacy, true love and expressing it without holding back. I have shifted so many hurts, ideals, beliefs and expectations that is helping me to reconnect with my partner again. What I have chosen previously was damaging my relationship, I was creating contraction instead of expanding and evolving. Now, I am taking responsibility, making loving choices and becoming more aware of what I am choosing. I am deeply grateful to share that Universal Medicine has saved my relationship.
Beautiful, simple and very inspiring Joel. The first paragraph really spoke to me on many levels and I can feel a step up is needed for me to take responsibility for ALL my relationships, especially my work. It is the choices I make that supports of caps the love I am and can express.
This blog applies to so many relationships, not just couples….but gee it is an important one for couples. We have this myth that we come up against…the “happily ever after” myth where everything enters a state of suspended animation when you come together….you cruise along side by side in a state in which nothing changes until you die, or these days divorce, bust up etc.
No wonder so many relationships are so lost and so many are ending. There are no role models out there for how to make a relationship work when 2 partners are equally committed to growth.
It cannot have been easy Joel, but what a blessing that you both persisted. It is inspiring to everyone at a time when it is seemingly so easy to just wash your hands and walk away.
This is so true Rachel, I completely agree. I love what you’ve shared. I must admit that I have had thoughts in relationships to just walk away because I felt it was just too hard. What I am realising now is to first reflect, have I taken full responsibility here, what and how have I contributed to my relationships? If I have put everything as in my full love, appreciation, joy and all of who I am in a relationship and it doesn’t evolve then it is an opportunity for me to reassess but if I just walk away because it is too hard then I haven’t evolved from that but just running away from my responsibilities. This applies to work, relationships and how I commit to life.
Joel simple wunderbar what you share here. My husband and I we are married for 17 years as well and we too can see that our relationship had deepened the last years. It is that today I feel I love my husband and the next day I could feel that I love him even more. Yes we have our issues with each other but there is a commitment in both of us to go forward e.g. taking our responsibility for our part of an issue and that is what makes our relationship so vibrant, real and alive.
At present I am wanting to go deeper in my commitment to love in the relationship, as I have been doing so for myself. I feel its about giving the other person space, understanding where they are at, and continue to present love.
Fear of change and taking comfort in what is already existing in a relationship, can often be used to hold on to what currently exists in the relationship because by ‘Comparison’ it appears to be a lot more than some other relationships have. Comparison is not a healthy thing in any circumstance. Thank you Joel for sharing honestly about growing your relationship and how choosing to challenge fears and comfort bring’s something more beautiful, much deeper and expansive. Fear and comfort held my relationship from changing and deepening, changed it from thriving to barely surviving and I realise now, that each of us in truly loving ourselves and living that, means that we truly love all others and that is what it is all about.
What a powerful article Joel and I have enjoyed reading several of the comments on this thread. As we deepen our relationship with ourselves, our relationships with all others change and evolve. I know that in my close friendships, having applied the principles that are shared by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, that my relationships have become more honest, open and indeed are deepening. Sometimes they feel like a dance, sometimes we are in sync with each other, and other times not. But as we each deepen our own connection with ourselves we come back to a way of being with each other that is harmonious.
I have loved the comments too, deeply enriching my impressions and understandings
My husband and I have been together now for over 26 years and with the support of Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Practitioners, it feels like we are only just getting to know each other. We are discovering things about each other that we may not have seen had we chose to continue to live our old ways – things like, how gentle and tender he is, how playful he can be and how wise he is. Thanks Joel for sharing.
Thank you Julie, I can relate to everything you have shared. It feels like you are describing me in my relationship. I attended the 2015 Lennox Heads Retreat, from my amazing experience, I came home feeling deeply connected to who I am, I felt joyful and loving. With this connection I was seeing my beautiful partner again after 14 years, appreciating his loving support for me to attend the retreat, workshops and presentations. I was able to see him again for who he is, his tenderness, playfulness, wisdom, nurturing and loving nature.
This is deeply inspiring Julie! I bet it’s a whole new world when we let go of the old and start to let another in , in full, even if we have been married for decades, this is still a new beginning. I will embrace this is my own life.
Yes the choices we make daily are crucial in all relationships – it’s not about perfection, but it is about really looking at what we are doing and why we are doing it.
All my relationships have transformed including the one with myself.
Same her Nicole. It is like opening the eyes to a deeper level of everything. Suddenly it is not the emotions on the surface that drive you into reaction, but the amazingly beautiful inner essence of everyone that you feel in every moment that makes you appreciate the other for what he or she truly is. This is like a whole new world opening up.
Beautifully said Michael
Wow your words blew me away Michael. So beautiful to feel what you have shared, thank you. It definitely is the inner essence of people that makes you appreciate everyone’s own unique beauty.
Brilliant Nicole, I too feel the same. My transformation has been incredible and I am continuing to develop and go deeper with all my relationships.
I too, am continuously opening up to others as I deepen my connection with myself.
It is really beautiful, and joyous.
Yes, I agree Nicole, the relationship with our self plays a major part in the transformation of all other relationships
Thank you Joel, for expressing that it is not a “Universal Medicine phenomenon”. I like how you said “there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.” This is so true, and empowering.
Thank you Joel and Arianne, I agree, when I applied the simple practical tools of self-love first to my self then that same love to my partner, these were the first steps I took towards true love!
What may seem a constant “contention” on the outside is a constant readjusting and evolving on the inside. It takes a lot of courage, responsibility and honesty to get to that level of relationship. It’s a choice to commit to not resting, saying yes to life and not getting arranged in a comfort zone.
I have been in a relationship for fourteen years and we are getting married in three weeks time. We have both been studying the Way of the Livingness for about ten years. To say our relationship has evolved would be the most gigantic of understatements. It has changed beyond all recognition. It has been a very bumpy ride as each of us has changed at different speeds and thus the other has felt those ‘gaps’. And what’s more I can feel absolutely that where we are at now is just the very tip of the iceberg. There is much, much more as our commitment, honesty, tenderness, responsibility and purpose deepens. It has been an extraordinary journey and I am forever indebted to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for everything that they have enabled me to see.
ottobathurst and Joel- you guys are amazing. I love how you acknowledge the “bumpy” times, but can see that your relationship is more than that. I am married to a very wonderful tender, loving man and have been for 25yrs. We both are committed to the constant evolution of our relationship and know that when things are ” bumpy” or static that there is another call to go deeper in our love and commitment. It is through the love and support from Serge Benhayon and the practitioners from Universal Medicine that we have developed an understanding of how to be love and express intimacy on a daily basis.
Extraordinary to read and feel this ottobathurst – knowing as you do the fact that there is so much more, is deeply inspiring and testament to your commitment to the presentations by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the religion, The Way of The Livingness.
Those of us who are single are clocking these amazing relationships, but not in a pervy, gossipy way. We observe with the greatest of respect, as a living lesson, and with great humbleness as students of what it is to be with another person making love the first and foremost principle.
So thank you Joel and Ottobathurst for inspiring many more people than you know in how to be love and in constant evolution with another.
Our wedding is now just four days away. But I can see how that sentence (our wedding is just four days away) is a cap on evolution, a cap on the truth of a true relationship. Because there is no “four days away” and anyway, that fourth day is no different from the third or fifth. We live so much of our lives looking forward to a specific date or a specific event..but in that looking forward, we are totally missing the now. Super easy for me, in respect of my relationship, to have all my eyes on ‘four days away’. But before that, there are four zillion opportunities for more. Four zillion opportunities to see more, feel more, express more….. Every single moment is an opportunity to go deeper, to claim a greater intimacy and to open my heart even more to the everything that is available. That is a living, breathing, evolving relationship. Beware the trap of looking forward, or harking back. That is a comfortable arrangement that many relationships fall in to to avoid the discomfort of the untruth of their now.
Well Said Otto! absolutely Brilliant thanks for sharing.
Wow, so beautiful to read this Ottobathurst. This is remarkable and to feel your commitment to an ever growing and deepening relationship together is very inspiring. Thank you.
Absolutely Sara, “every single moment is an opportunity to go deeper, to claim a greater intimacy and to open my heart even more to the everything that is available.” This is truly beautiful Ottobathurst and a commitment that enriches and evolves. I love that you have put no measure on where you can both take your relationship, the depth to this way of love is inspiring.
Wow ottobathurst, what an amazing basis you and your partner have gotten to for marriage. Truly blessed.
What a great comment ottobathurst, and thanks for your uncut raw honesty which is felt. I know, and can relate to you talking about the bumpy ride, as me and my husband have also changed at different speeds. I have no regrets, and like you I feel there is much more and we have started, and there is no turning back.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have shown me what is possible in my relationship with myself, my husband and all other relationships. The potential is huge with any relationship if I want to see and feel it and be willing to stay open and keep learning.
Not that I would ever say “I told you so”…but here I am six days after our wedding (which was a spectacularly gorgeous claiming of everything that we all are) I can vouch for everything that I said above in this thread – yes it was a magnificent day, yes it was a new truth-stake in the ground of our relationship, yes we both loved every second of it. But that was then, and now is now. And we still have a relationship that needs an every-second-commitment to evolution and expansion. Because there is oh-so-much-more….which for those lucky enough to be at our wedding….is a pretty awesome thing to consider. The love and power of a true relationship is ginormous and I am only just seeing the tip of the iceberg. But I am loving it and I am committing to seeing and being more. On top of which I, who adore and fancy myself more than ever, have a wife (super cool to be able to write that) whom I adore and fancy more than ever and who adores and fancies herself more than ever and who adores and fancies me more than ever. Which after fourteen years is nothing short of ace. And is ENTIRELY testament to the teachings of Universal Medicine and everything that Serge Benhayon and his whole family have inspired myself and my wife (sorry, it’s just fun writing that again) to be, ourselves.
Wow Otto, this should be a blog itself!!! I couldn’t reply on your answer itself but I mean the one with The wedding is four days ago- by the way- Congratulations !!!:-) how beautiful!!! Every single moment is an opportunity to go deeper , feel more, claim a deeper intimacy express more- you are so right and feeling you and your wife is truly inspiring for me.
Congratulations Otto what a great living testimony to the teachings of Universal Medicine and everything that Serge Benhayon and his whole family have inspired you and your wife to be – yourselves together.
“There is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience”- without accepting and taking this level of responsibility with myself first, all my ‘relationships’ with others would just be arrangement/attachment/obsession depending on the kind and level of my needs, like they all used to be before the Way of the Livingness was my choice of being.
Definitely a list worth seeing! It can be scary taking the first step towards changing the ‘relationship dance’ with a partner, but I have found often the biggest problem is fear of the fear itself! Avoiding change and staying stuck in old patterns may bring a certain measure of comfort, but what joys are we missing out on by behaving this way?
Hi Joel, whilst I am not married or in a relationship, I can certainly say that all the relationships in my life have deepened and become more loving as I have made more loving choices in my life – you can add me to the list!
Thank you Joel and Melissa, if you are starting a list then my marriage has improved out of sight, you can add me to that list.
I agree Joel, we are only at the beginning!
Universal Medicine has helped me to understand we often go into relationships with an unwritten contract. For instance, “I will pander to you if you give me attention, never leave me etc.” I was very guilty of this kind of arrangement in my relationships, some more obviously than others. It didn’t feel like love but there was some kind of comfort or security in it. If one person decides to change the rules all hell breaks lose! Knowing there will be a period of tension when one person grows helps enormously to depersonalise it ( and stop the blame game). Each step of growth you take together takes you back to true love.
Yes I agree, often in relationships I have had contracts out on people, I have set up expectations and actual demands- none of this is ok and it turns a connection into an obligation- and that serves no one.
I completely agree, so many relationships have been improved by my choices to take responsibility in every moment. I am responsible for my love and joy, not another. This is a huge game changer, but so crucial to understand, and awesome to embody and live. Life simply becomes so much easier when my love for me is equal to my love for another, no more and no less.
Beautifully said Felicity, the reality is that for any relationship to evolve it needs to be nourished and appreciated.
What you present here is a great representation of how true relationships work, the continuos growth of love from both partners and in-between them.
I do fully agree with you Ariana, there is an enormous gap between what is presented here and what is reality in most relationships today. This kind of relationship is certainly worth an extensive study.
You are absolutely right Ariana- like you I haven’t seen many relationships existing on the same foundation like Joel and his wife’s relationship. I didn’t have any role models before I met the Benhayons and other student couples now. It is remarkable, very pure and there are no emotions attached. Just love, holding and understanding and the openness to grow constantly together.
Great call Ariana – I too have observed so many relationships which are abusive. Only today I had a conversation with a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary about the perplexing situation that many partnerships find it so hard to show the love they feel, and instead exist in much conflict. Could our relationship with partners be the greatest reflection of how we are with ourselves? What you have shared Joel is an inspirational pathway to bringing the true love we crave within our relationships. Thank you.
The most important thing being to give them the space to come to their own decision. Not to be attached to that decision, to needing them to be a certain way, but for things to evolve as and when the other person makes that choice.
Alison what you say I am finding very important-” to give them the space to come to their own decision. Not to be attached to that decision, to needing them to be a certain way, but for things to evolve as and when the other person makes that choice.”
Thank you Joel and lorettarapp, I agree, the more ‘love’, ‘the more allowing of the other person to be who they are’. True love never makes a judgment of other’s choices!
I absolutely agree with you, Alison. Allowing another space to come to their own decision applies to every relationship we have: with family, friends, colleagues or children. That is the foundation for deepening a relationship, for it has respect and acceptance as its source.
Yes it is important to allow someone the space to feel and make their own choices, but I am learning too that it is equally important to call something out that doesn’t feel loving.
this is true- its so important to own the fact we don’t own these people in our lives.
Whether your partner is also a student of Universal Medicine or not, we are all students in this life. For me, the key has been for me to concentrate on my own livingness and there is then a magnetic pull for the other person to make a choice.
That is true Joel my relationship with my husband has improved and deepened as well. And therefore our way of being together has an effect on others because they ask us what is our secret to be so close . . . So it is really worth it to re-connect to oneself because the effect is that you will never stop growing and expanding and so does the world around you.
Joel it is great to hear of long term relationships improving with more loving acceptance of the unfolding of each other. I am not in a long term relationship but as others have mentioned, I feel the relationships with family and friends have become more truthfully loving and deeper in the sense of not expecting them to be more than who they are, and allowing us all to grow at our own pace, without judgement .
The most loving ability in relationships to me is to be able to let go. And not to get stuck in the old hurts. To feel the love to see the partner with new eyes on a loving base every day. To make the choice to not be addicted to how we are with each other, more that the love I feel for myself is the guide to the love between us. If there’s no love for me, how then could I see the other with love. And opening up without needing the opposite to reconnect. Simply be honest with the moment. I can sense that to me it is quite hard to let go. Feeling the stubbornness that wants things to be different makes me ask myself – how much do I love me and how much am I able to accept the other? Most of the time it is more a self love thing than acceptance. Cause the self love opens me up for a big understanding not being attached by the things. Cause my heart brings the all to me in full.
Thank you Joel, what you describe here is the experience of many couples who apply what Universal Medicine presents to both their own unfoldment and to relationships. My husband and I have also found that ‘our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be. There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness’. It has also been our experience that as we deepen our relationship as a couple, this then spills over to all the other relationships we have, whether with a man or a woman. As one relationship deepens, then there is the potential for all other relationships to follow and also deepen. All relationships can improve by ‘by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other’. Your list could be endless!
Since my involvement with Universal Medicine, the quality of my relationships has deepened to a level I never thought I would have in my life not just with others around me but with myself. I now feel there is so much more understanding, respect, appreciation and love and it just keeps getting better.
You are right Joel – my relationship with my husband has certainly transformed to hold much more love over the years, and this has been largely due to the amazing support of the Universal Medicine practitioners as well as the teachings of the ageless wisdom by Serge Benhayon. Though of course I must add that our own hard work and dedication to our relationship and our commitment to each other has been an equally important ingredient! there is much to appreciate in this, I must say.
Yes I will go on the list as well. All my relationships have enormously improved because of my involvement with Universal Medicine. They have become less emotional, more real, simple and very light and joyfull. Yes at times it is hard work but it is very worth it to have true relationships in my life now.
My relationship with my husband of nearly 40 years is blossoming. Why? since attending the inspiring Universal Medicine presentations and courses I made a conscious decision to bring more gentle self loving choices into my life, being honest, expressing, sharing and listening a great recipe in our relationship which is definitely evolving. Thank you Joel a beautiful sharing with us all.
What you are pointing out here to me Joel is that relationships naturally call us to expand on the point we have come to together. There is always more honesty and a deeper connection to be found. There actually are no rules, simply comfort.
The expansion that Universal Medicine offers should be seen and experienced by all, as it is simply wonderful, if we commit to it with our all.
And with every new insight and the willingness to grow, there is again an opportunity to go deeper with ourselves and each other. Infinite….
Well said Joel, and I absolutely agree with your words, that at the end of the day: “there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart”. It takes a lot of honesty and the deepest commitment to grow together – and one can never expect a partner to ‘go there with you’ if you indeed make changes that affect a status quo that has been, but may well have had its time… (I have been there in the past.)
In contributing to your list of relationships/marriages that have deepened beyond measure, through the constant inspiration of Universal Medicine AND our own willingness to dedicate ourselves to true love, and all that we know it to be, please add:
Victoria Carter and Adam Warburton
Our love is most definitely here to stay, and we have no qualms about showing it in full.
‘It takes a lot of honesty and the deepest commitment to grow together – and one can never expect a partner to ‘go there with you….’ I can relate to what you say here Victoria. For me, it’s a constant commitment in letting go of how I ‘think’ my husband should be and allowing our relationship to unfold each day with no expectations. It can be very challenging at times but it always comes back to my connection with myself first and foremost.
Absolutely Caroline. Our relationship with ourselves is the foundation, and from there we bring the deepest love and wisdom we know to our partnership with another. I am constantly learning and experiencing how there is ‘more of me’ to bring to my relationship – as I deepen in who I am, there is more understanding, more love, more playfulness, joy, love… And more willingness to let go the guards that have held me separate from fully trusting another. An ongoing process, and one I wouldn’t miss for the world.
Beautiful sharing Joel, I can confirm that the relationships in my life are definately deeper, more truer and much more free since participating in Universal Medicine courses. I am a lot more open to people and every aspect of my life has improved to make it much more richer.
I love how relationships present constant opportunities to evolve. And I can totally relate to how you shared – ‘There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ As every day we (my husband and I) feel like it’s a new day, with more opportunities to discover and live more love from within ourselves and with each other. A beautiful and inspiring blog Joel as all relationships hold this potential.
Joel this is beautiful and inspiring, you don’t hear of this very often in the world people developing more love in their relationships as time passes – its more often than not coupes grow apart.
Super true Joel. There is a clear choice when a change comes about..either take it or leave it. Accept it or don’t. No doubt that bringing more love and understanding to yourself, brings that to your relationships and there’s an option for both to go with it or not.
Put me on the list Joel!! I too have experienced a depth of love that I didn’t even know existed let alone thought I would be able to feel. My relationship has a depth, quality and allowing that is continuing to deepen every day. I love the relationship that I am in and can only but wonder at what the future holds and what is there to unfold as both my partner and I commit to ourselves and each other.
I certainly don’t comment from a relationship perspective, for I’m single. I would love to offer though: I’m single and more ready to mingle, with thanks to the tens of awesome couples in my close quarters who are in the livingness.
Great point, Joel, How do marriages and relationships sustain themselves when each person is living their own ‘Livingness’. I suppose love is the answer!?
I am with you Joel when you say that “the level of love or joy I experience” is connected to our taking responsibility for our choices. Something for me to carry throughout the day.
Put my name down in that list! I could not stay in a relationship for very long at all while I was in school because I couldn’t express how I really felt. There was so much I was holding back that the relationships seemed pointless to me and boring after the initial excitement had gone. Now I’m in a long term relationship and going strong, falling in love more as time goes on because we keep deepening our love and getting to know and explore each other’s beauty, which there is no end to. This is thanks to my involvement with Universal Medicine
‘taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship’…this is quite a change from what I have always wanted from my relationships, being in them primarily to feel loved, to fill myself up. This has changed dramatically for me through the teachings of Universal Medicine, where I now really understand that no relationship can do this for me and be about love. I absolutely have to love myself and know who I am in my relationships… they cannot do that for me.
I completely agree Kate. Before gaining the understanding that I have from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I too was looking for my partner to give me something, to fill a void that I felt. I have now come to realise that I am whole, and any void that is felt is for me to fill. I take a whole person to my partner and she brings a whole person to me – no neediness, no wanting something from the other, just a deep loving, connection.
It is great if you use the possibility a relationship offers- and you guys did take it for sure.
I also have found my relationships to deepen as a result of living more love with myself in all that I do and say. I could still feel the hurt of some past relationships but I realised that the hurt was only equal to the need that I had originally brought to the relationship, and once I realised that, there was no need to choose hurt !. It is so refreshing Joel to read your writings about how it is to be in a relationship without the need for the other to deliver you something – once we love ourselves completely and feel the expansion that brings, there is nothing else we could want for!
Hi Joel, I enjoyed your blog and especially where you say
“I also feel like we are only just beginning”. This is beautiful.
I agree with what you say Lynda even though in my 15 year relationship/marriage in the 8 years of my involvement with Universal Medicine, ” there is no doubt our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be”.
Everyday and even every moment my husband and I meet up in our day, it feels like we are just beginning, there is no end to Love. I feel like I am wrapped up in love each time our gazes meet. Universal Medicine has definitely had a great impact on us as individuals and our whole family, we are now rich with Love and everyday our understanding of Love is expanding. This all feels very normal, no whistles and bells, just us.
I agree Joel, while I don’t have a parter, I have found all my relationships with friends and family are becoming closer, more open and more affectionate .. and not having expectations of another to bring something to you because you are lacking that level of love in yourself, allows the other to simply be themselves without any pressure. Taking responsibility for our own love means what we have to offer to another is free of imposition and is a far more true and loving way of being.
Same here Annie, I also do not have a partner at this moment in time, but like you I have found also that all my relationships have significiantly improved mainly because I have developed and deepened the relationship with myself and my body, which is a result of the understanding I have gained about life and the past choices I have made, all thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Well my relationship with my mother has definitely changed and become so much more playful, light, gorgeous and as you said it Joel, there is ‘more sexiness in how we move together.’
mmm I like this “there is always a choice…to grow together, or apart.” Thank you for sharing how your relationship now is- it brought a smile to my face.
Yes Joel it is a joy to read your blog and feel the blossoming of your relationship.
Since becoming a student of Universal Medicine and taking more responsibility for myself, my relationships continue to grow – I am learning about real love and it all comes down to choices.
How right you are Joel, one has either the chance to grow together or apart with each new step that presents itself in a partnership.
With Universal Medicine my partnership has gone on a journey that continuously brings up new steps and allows us to go deeper and live an even more amazing level of connection and commitment. I never would have guessed that such beauty and joy could be possible :o)
The fact that we all change in our lives is well known and the incredible high divorce rate in western societies shows that we no longer know how to be in a loving and successful relationship. The couples i know through Universal Medicine are mostly if not all ever increasingly loving and successful in their relationships which shows that what is presented by Universal Medicine – taking responsibility for the way we live, love and relate – simply works.
My involvement with Universal Medicine has been very beneficial to my life. Nearly gone are the outbursts and the mood swings and the way I choose to feed myself is starting to have subtle effects as well.
What Serge Benhayon has presented on self-love, and when applied in my life (which continues to be an ongoing process) I have only seen my relationships with myself and others expand immensely. From the constant self-loathing, living in a black hole in my head non stop 24/7 to actually say ”Come on Leigh, you are not this” and to be willing to push the self-critical thoughts to one side while I focus on how my tasks feel in my hands, is nothing short of a miracle. And because I have and continue to re-learn how to be with myself – that I am not bad or only worth loathing, only seeing the bad in myself and likewise the negative in all others – I get to feel a sense of wanting to be with me and that translates over to wanting to be with others as well.
I love how you feel that after 17 years of marriage that things are only just beginning. That makes me feel that you can never really get sick of any one person if both parities continue to deepen and choose to be and express and make room for more and more love.. very inspiring.
I have seen so many relationships blossom through the inspiration of Universal Medicine. The idea of doggedly sticking to the rules of how a couple should be with each other feels stagnant and lacking in joy. If our partner grows it is a moment to choose that too and grow with them.
I have just started a new relationship with my partner after many years of living on my own which in itself was a deeply healing experience of appreciating myself and coming into my power of living joyfully and lovingly. All my relationships had deepened in that time as my relationship with me had deepened….Now in my new relationship there is a freshness and a joy of coming together to make it about a loving relationship and supporting each other to be who we are. Old hurts and needs can get triggered but we look at this as something we can heal and grow from supporting and understanding each other. It’s wonderful!!! I deeply appreciate Universal Medicine as it has deepened my understanding of relationships and opened up a world of love, joy and connection in all relationships.
Thank you, Karoline, for sharing the process you have and continue to go through in deepening your relationship with yourself and therefore with others close to you. It is inspiring to feel that old hurts can be healed by approaching the relationship with a fresh understanding and commitment to bringing love into all aspects of life.
I couldn’t agree with you more Karoline about Universal Medicine bringing a deeper level of understanding to relationships and opening up a world of ‘love, joy and connection in all relationships.’
I can definitely attest that my relationship with my partner has improved and changed enormously since being exposed to Universal Medicine. It is at times confronting and not comfortable but so is any worthwhile endeavour. And yes, Joel we are always feeling we are just at the beginning.
Thanks Joel for opening up the discussion.
Since attending Universal medicine my life has definately improved and my marriage is deepening. I am learning to take responsibility for my choices past and present & learning what trust, love, understanding and acceptance means in a relationship, first with myself & then with others.
It is a beautiful unfoldment happening deepening to reveal the real me.
Thanks to the teachings of Universal Medicine, the call to be truer to myself and in relationship is constantly there, reminding me not to settle for less than the love I know resides in each of us. This is the greatest gift and, although not always easy, has been and continues to be life-changing.
In my relationship I have the feeling that after 6 years of intense ups and downs we are beginning to know what real love can be, what true partnership means and what self-responsibility means. Very, very rewarding to make the choice to be honest and make the relationship about truth.
When both people commit to evolving and remain open to learning it like you get two for the price of one you can learn and grow and share together.
This blog inspired me every time I read it, as it is a wonderful testament to the practical teachings of Universal Medicine and what is possible when we let go of our needs and hurts and open up to being truly and fully ourselves with another.
Sooo true Janet, Universal Medicine has changed our relationships for ever. Returned them to their love filled place.
The idea that we are responsible for our own joy takes so much weight and expectation off our relationships so that we can start growing together rather than holding each other to filling needs we have not filled within ourselves. Such an important part of healthy relationships Joel, thanks for sharing.
I agree Toni, learning to be responsible for the love and joy we bring to a relationship and not looking for the other person to provide us with what we don’t give ourselves is an enormous shift but a very liberating one and the foundation for building much healthier relationships.
After all those years together and feeling like your just at the beginning.. Sounds refreshing always learning about each other and how you both grow.
Hi Joel,
Yes it always a choice about bringing more love to your relationship or not.
And the reward when we make that loving choice is always so beautifully confirmed. And when we make the wrong choice we are also blessed in feeling the lack of love as a consequence, thus giving us another opportunity.
It’s a great system!
Agree Kevin Doyle a system of love, for love.
So true Joel thank you for sharing. I can defiantly relate. All my relationships have improved as I have consciously made more loving choices, especially those with my partner. Yes defiantly at times it has been confronting but so worth while to love, evolve and grow together. Awesome reflections thank you.
While I have a partner who is not directly involved in Universal Medicine, I do feel there is a positive flow on effect within our relationship through my attendance at Universal Medicine events and sessions with practitioners. I have found that as I have learnt to step back and only take responsibility for my part, I have given my partner more space to be more of his natural self. Consequently, our understanding of each other, levels of respect and communication has deepened.
My relationships are blossoming since I became a student of Universal Medicine. Especially my marriage and my relationship with my teenage daughter. Just as you describe Joel, playful, honouring, respectful, sexy and very loving.
Every single relationship with friends and family has blossomed, changed, evolved and become more fun and honest since attending Universal Medicine courses 6 years ago. This could be something the media reported on instead of false stories.
It can be confronting in any relationship when one person makes changes to themselves it asks us to look deeper at ourselves and that is what is so beautiful! Since making many changes to the way I live, including the way I look after myself, I have seen many around me make similar choices and vice versa.
“…there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.” Just that sentence says it ALL. Full stop.
Great blog and reminder of our own responsibility and level of openness in relationships. Grow together or grow apart. Choose.
Unlike you I do not have a before and after. So, my whole experience has been as students of Universal Medicine. My feeling is that this fact made things more complex because you lack a common reference of what was like before. To construct a true relationship while each one deepens and goes through discarding of things that are not true anymore is challenging. Although, there is so much to deepen and to work on in my relationship, it is clear that the amount of support we have in this life time is simply enormous. So, it is up to us.
I agree Joel, with developing the Way of the Livingness in relationships they are far more joyful, loving, sweet and fun and more consistency as well, because living the livingness is living a more connected way of life! There are more days of the year that are gorgeous and fun over having bad days… and as a result of that, those people close to you get to experience you living a joyful life, which is so healthy for any relationship!
Since applying what is presented by Universal Medicine to my own life, my relationship within my family have changed dramatically!! With my sister, my dad! My mum and all of my brothers. The big change that really happened though was first changing the relationship I had with them. And realising we can keep things the way the are or change, to bring more love, openness and understanding. I’m glad I’ve chosen change, it’s been so supportive for us all. And now that we all live apart the connection is still there and the joy of being together never goes.
Love the simplicity in your way of expression Joel. So simple to feel, understand and relate what you’ve shared. For me, I feel me and my partner begun on a foundation of honesty above anything else, which has allowed us to grow together with constant communication of where the other is at. This depth of communication allows understanding so we do not get totally caught by reaction. We are coming up to our first year anniversary and I am amazed by our ever deepening love. I LOVE this work!
I have the same experience Joel in the way my relationship has progressed, my approach to all relationships and even my relationship with myself. All have changed for the better, meaning, there is more honesty, allowing, accepting and love.
It is great to hear of the changes that are happening in relationships, marriages and also friendships. Not having been in a relationship for many years with a Partner I feel I would be more equipped to be in one now, especially with all the wonderful presentations and feed back from Universal Medicine and the Student Body.
Simply and beautifully put, Brendan. Self-responsibility is the key to more fulfilling relationships all round.
So many relationships have been positively impacted by one persons choice to be more loving with themselves and take responsibility for their own choices. That person is me in this case, but I am an example among many. I have strong connected relationships with many, family, friends, husband and many people I meet every day. I don’t close down around them because I don’t know them yet or they are not yet my friend. Taking responsibility for myself and my choices has meant that I have grown in confidence to express myself and this has meant I have become so much more open and warm and friendly with everyone I encounter. And as I said, I am just one example among many people who have been inspired to take responsibility. Thank you for this wonderful blog Joel.
Yes, this is what true love is all about isn’t it – growing ourselves, so we can grow together.
Hi Joel,
I can truly say my relationship with my partner evolved beyond what I could imagine to be possible. We both have come a long way, where many times I was desperate and doubting that it could work, but our commitment to truth and evolving has kept us together.
The most important for me is that I don’t need my partner anymore. That is such a great feeling, because I come from my own fullness and can truly meet him and share and support. Nothing remains unspoken, which is challenging, but I see that as paving the way for the world, so we can reflect what a true relationship can be. Always work in progress.
I find this blog super inspiring every time I re-visit it. I can really feel the freedom and the potential for evolution as individuals and together in what you have shared, Joel – thank you.
Realising that we can evolve together opens a new space and view how to be with your partner. This is an amazing chance and choice, challenging at times but also so much more joyful, playful and growing !
I agree Joel that probably the hardest, but most rewarding, thing I have ever done (and am still learning) is to take responsibility for the choices I am making and the consequences of those choices rather than blaming someone or something outside of me for things I don’t like about my life.
Your blog comes back to a simple point, are we in a relationship to evolve or are we in a relationship to hide and be in comfort? Evolution all the way! It can be confronting at times, but this I have found in my relationship to be what True Love is all about.
That is really inspiring and to feel how when we take responsibility for ourselves our relationship improves.
Awesome sharing Joel, and absolutely count me in, I wouldn’t be where I am today living the joy and power I am if I hadn’t deepened my relationship with myself and through this all other relationships in life. And it is only the beginning…absolutely so much more to evolve and such a joyful journey.
That’s awesome Joel. I am proud to say that since becoming students of Universal Medicine, my husband and I are able to work on truly making our relationship that of love and look forward to seeing where it rakes us as we deepen our connections.
What a gorgeous and inspiring article Joel! I am single but I can say that my relationship with my family has deepened, especially with my now adult children.
Inspiring Joel to feel the spiciness and sexiness bloom and deepen in your relationship.
I love the feeling of freedom in your description of how your relationship has developed over the years, in allowing each other to grow and learning to let go of things having to be a certain way. But what I love most is your description of the sexiness in how you move together – this is really gorgeous, Joel.
I love the simplicity of your sharing Joel – it breaks down subtle ideals around relationships and beautifully points out how amazing it can be if we take responsibility for our own love and joy and allow the partner to do the same.
Thank you for sharing about your relationship Joel. We have been married for 25yrs and our marriage has changed immensely in the last 5 years. I would never have thought that it would still be evolving after all this time! I would have to say that evolution is not always easy as we evolve as two individuals first and foremost and that can be challenging. It is also so easy to slip back into old patterns of relationship behaviour and it requires a certain level of honesty and self reflection to help each other deal with the hurts that this behaviour can cause.
Having the support of Serge, Universal Medicine, esoteric practitioners and two very honest children is making our journey rather a gorgeous one and we both feel very supported.
I have had a similar experience Joel and I’ve found that in my relationship the love and quality of connection grows stronger and deeper as we evolve as individuals and then together as a couple.
Yes me too Peter. I could never have imagined the depth and quality of the relationships I have now. I don’t think I would have come close to experiencing this if I had not come across Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Healing modalities
Through developing a more loving relationship with myself, what I have experienced is that I can feel the truth in my relationships with others and as my love for me has grown through the practice of self loving choices in my daily living, I can hold myself in difficult circumstances, whereas in the past I would have crumpled, allowing myself to be affected and very easily influenced by what was coming at me via words or actions of another. I now know and can feel that I am so full of love inside, and can mostly not take it personally. I can hear it, feel it, and still be me. This feels amazing, as I have spent much time in the past allowing myself to be very emotionally drained from difficulty in relationships.
How awesome Joel to be sharing ‘The Way of the Livingness’ with your partner. Beautiful sharing. THANKYOU!
It is absolutely beautiful to read your blog Joel.
It shows just what can happen when you re both commit to evolving your relationship together. That there is no end point, or a place were you both say this is it, we are at the the pinnacle lets stop here – because love never stops and can always go deeper and deeper. What an inspiration for us all!
Joel you have absolutely nailed it here. My marriage that was about to end just over 2 years ago has continued to change and develop in more love and honesty due to the support and teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. As you shared it can be confronting and what I find uncomfortable but with the commitment to making it about a choice, the potiential to be more loving, joyful and playful with your other, is limitless.
Thankyou for sharing Joel.
Thank you for pointing out ‘I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules’. It makes me realize again how when one person changes things in a relationship, the other needs time to adjust and can react. Allowing is a biggie in this. I am practising with it everyday.
I agree, Eleonora. It feels honouring to accept that sometimes it takes a little while for us to adapt when things change in the relationship, and that it is important to allow things to unfold as they need to in accordance with our own individual learning process.
That’s so true Janet, and also important to allow others the same grace. This has been a wonderful learning for me.
I just love this crispy blog, so clear and recognizable. You wrote down exactly in words what I am experiencing. It is all about growth and not about keeping things as they are, because that was the usual setting or rule within the relationship. The only rule is, is that there is constant evolving, setting new standards of and for love to ourselves and within each other. What I experience is that nominating, talking about the changes and sharing how it feels, supports this growing together in a deeper love.
Talking about writing down exactly in words what I am expercieng Caroline :). For me your line “What I experience is that nominating, talking about the changes and sharing how it feels, supports this growing together in a deeper love.” is exactly that.
I can’t tell you how lost and twisted I had become before I started attending Universal Medicine courses and workshops. Loving myself was as an idea I had heard about in a song – the Greatest Love of All – but all I had really learned was how to be emotional (as was that song). And as for being in a relationship, that was like being emotional on speed.
A lot has changed since then. I am now married to a beautiful person and we both have an ever deepening understanding that our relationship is about evolution (not the happy-ever-after dream) helping each other to be our best and supporting other stop be that also.
Through what I have understood at these courses and through the support of esoteric practitioners from Universal Medicine, what i have been able to implement into my life from where I was is a miracle beyond words.
I find it difficult to verbalise just how far I have come since those days and how much I have healed in myself and how it has put me into a position where i can explore having a healthy relationship that is truly meaningful and supportive. I have myself to congratulate for what I have achieved but equally I must acknowledge that without the great school of Universal Medicine it would have been extremely difficult to be a great student.
That’s awesome Dean. I also congratulate you. I have to admit that I was also ‘lost and twisted’. I also had no idea what real and true love was until I came across Universal Medicine. I had thought that it was about needing someone and filling someone else’s needs, which never worked, and left a trail of hurts that needed to be healed. Now I know that it is much more, and what that much more brings is truly beautiful and ever expanding.
Thank you Joel for your sharing. I can feel how reluctant and resistant I have been in my relationships, but really if there is to be change someone has to start and then allow whatever it is to take place.
Joel I so relate to what you say about it being confronting at times to know that there is a direct relationship between our choices and the level of joy and love that we experience. I find that, and yet it makes no sense at all. When I have made good choices the fact that there is such a relationship is itself a joy. Imagine realising that we get to choose whether or not our lives are full of love and joy; its set us free! It is when I have been making bad choices that I rebel against this. It is then that it doesn’t feel so freeing, even though it is.
So true Joel while not in a partnered relationship, my relationships with friend, family and all of those I meet have blossomed hugely, inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine. I am learning to deeply love and care of me, to build a loving foundation with myself that ripples out to all those around me. There is a power and a loveliness to this that cannot but be felt by all.
I do not have a partner, but I have found the same applies to all relationships Joel. Especially to the relationship I am developing with myself. It’s like as I grow and change and choose to love myself more, old aspects of me, old beliefs and ideals that I and partnered with so to speak, fight against the change. I experience an inner debate, and when I gently and lovingly inspire these old aspects to grow to be more loving I am once again at peace with myself.
“I also feel like we are only just beginning.” – this is how I’ve felt also, after being married for 14 years and being inspired by Universal Medicine, it feels like we are just meeting more of each other everyday and learning about ourselves and each other. I’ve also felt this in all of my relationships as well, the more I care and honour myself and be open and honest about how I’m feeling, the more I truly see another.
A beautiful and inspiring post Joel, with thanks.
What is a Universal Medicine phenomenon is how so many are writing about topics such as relationships and coming up with great insights into life – such as how we do have a choice at the end of each day to honour the love we feel for our partner or family. Taken deeper, how that choice is more likely to be made, when we honour the love inside us during our day. It seems without Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, so much would still be taken for granted and acceptance of a life with much less choice would still be occurring for so many. No wonder those who have been inspired by Serge Benhayon want to share their stories and the difference Universal Medicine has made in their lives – to possibly inspire others.
Totally agree Joel, my relationship with others, my partner included has deepened tremendously, I now have true relationships based on love, trust and honesty. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Thank you for this blog Joel. I loved the line ‘…at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.’ This is so true and a great reminder, I find myself sometimes going in reaction when something changes in my relationship and stepping away from that person, sort of I will figure it out myself. To be left feeling like something is missing and that is the growing together.
Yes, would be great to count the relationships which unfold, deepened and blossomed up by living what is presented by Universal Medicine. And I am very joyful to say: me and my Partner would be on this list! We are married for 20 years now and attending Universal Medicine courses since 2005. And I can say that our relationship is as wonderful as never before…and like you said Joel: “I also feel like we are only just beginning.” – wow, I am really looking forward, willing to do changes and take the changes of my partner always as an opportunity to evolve.
I love your comment, Sandra, and being able to share the joy you feel in having an ever evolving relationship with your partner.
I agree and agree some more Joel.
As the more love that it committed to (meaning love to everything that word means) The relationship goes somewhere we would never expect it to go.
There are no rules how to go about being in a relationship however being expressive, loving and understanding, you are going to be growing together and should be #1 on the todo list
For me all of my relationships have changed, including my marriage, since I began taking responsibility for my choices and healing my hurts. One of the beautiful awarenesses that I have come to know is that I have all the love I will ever need living inside of me and when I connect to this and live from this space I feel full and complete. Then when I share me with others from this space they get to feel that they are equally complete and full of love too. This is a beautiful way to be in relationships.
Beautifully said, Bianca – “I have all the love I will ever need living inside of me”. To feel this is absolutely liberating, and then we can start to develop true relationships which are based on appreciating and celebrating each other, feeling how complete and awesome we are in ourselves.
Thank you for the all important reminder that true love starts within before it can be expressed and shared out. I spent many relationships seeking love from others and this left me empty, hurt and utterly confused by my idea of love. I am re-learning the truth of this now and my current relationship is a reflection of my inner work.
My relationships have changed a lot, starting with my own relationship, the one I have with myself. I have learned so much about relationships through universal medicine and I have to admit, it has not always been easy because I have had a lot of expectations and investments in my relationships. I am learning everyday about my relationships, learning to accept and to understand, and with that, bringing more love.
I would agree Mariette my relationships have changed a lot too and it started from the foundation of the loving and nurturing relationship I am building with myself, quite a revolutionary idea at first. Although I had heard about “self-love” in New Age circles, as promulgated there it never felt true. But as I have grown to understood what it truly means through Universal Medicine and as I develop this loving relationship with my self and my body I now find I am able to bring so much more understanding and allowing of the other person to be as they are rather than impose my own judgments and needs upon them.
I have also found that ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience’ and I can find this confronting at times but it also inspires me to go deeper with my relationship with myself and others. Thank you for sharing how your love has expanded and is ever growing. Beautiful.
Dear Joel, I really love your expression ‘ there is more sexiness in how we move together’, there’s such a beautiful depth to it.
So true Helen, and also the level of responsibility we hold in all of those choices.
Thank you Joel, I love the way you have shared your own experience. I can feel that the relationship with myself has changed a lot in the last five years since I have started with Universal Medicine. Very inspiring.
Well said Joel and lovely to re-read. Without Universal Medicine and the teachings it has presented I know my relationships would not have changed much, and would not be feeling great as I know I would still be in the same mess and state of inner-turmoil that I used to be in. I did not want to fully take responsibility for my actions and used to blame pretty much everything on those around me and so how could I truly have had loving relationships?!
Beautiful Joel thank you for such a great sharing on the enormous benefits of Universal Medicine. It is bringing a greater awareness and love for us all and the resulting benefits to all relationships and marriages growing and evolving with an inspiration above any seen before. The way to go and after 36 years of marriage and 12 years of Universal Medicine learning what true love is I would add our names to your list also.
I love the simplicity of your blogs Joel. Little gems to remind us how we can be with ourselves and each other.
This is very true Jane as relationships reflect our own relationship with ourselves, it is where we still have to start if we are to truly have a harmonious relationship with ourselves.
A short yet to the point blog. The one line that stood out to me was: ”there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.” Our choices that then provide for us our experiences are the same choices that unite or separate our relationships with others. I am learning how that I can choose to feel less or better than another, both opening a gap between us or I can choose to be with another equally and grow in that equal feeling.
I love how you say that: ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience’. It is such a great statement as it helps me to take responsibility for all of my choices and actions. Universal Medicine has beyond doubt inspired me to make far more loving choices, the Life I am living now as a result is full of far more joy and vitality than it was before.
Such an amazing confirmation of how it is…being exposed by your partner can really highlight the choices you have made…perhaps they are not always that loving, perhaps that hurts and perhaps it asks you to choose to be honest about that or head off into reaction. I know how challenging I find it to honour myself and be honest, but the difference in outcomes in my relationship is remarkable…why do I choose otherwise? One to ponder on for sure…
It really has helped me to see relationships as something that are ever evolving, changing and growing with us – this is something I’ve learnt from Universal Medicine in recent years. Prior to this, relationships for me were about filling an emptiness I felt inside – no wonder I had several doomed relationships! I’ve also learnt a valuable lesson in that the more I develop a loving and nurturing relationship with myself, this then naturally changes the quality of all my relationships in whatever form they come.
for the last 11 years since first encountering Universal Medicine I am learning what true love is and how to bring this into my life and all my relationships. It is an ongoing process, it never stops. Without Universal Medicine and the support of Serge Benhayon I would have blindly carried on thinking that love was a doing thing that came with expectations and demands. Learning to love myself first has been key to learning to love others and what that really means and looks like. I know my relationship with my family has changed immensely, by letting go of so many expectations I had around love and what love looked like.
Thanks, Joel. Re-reading this blog I am struck by the deep commitment that you and others have expressed with regards to your relationship with yourself and consequently with your partners and others. And as Stephen says above, it is really important to be allowing and the accepting in a relationship, as this creates a steady foundation from which you can both naturally evolve – even if things may go a bit curly at times!
It makes sense that we all grow and change over time and this affects the dynamics of our relationships, it is the allowing and accepting of one another that you speak of Joel that is so important to every relationship to allow it to grow and evolve.
My relationships are definitely improving with my choice to stay with a greater depth of love. ‘Taking responsibility for my own joy and love’ plays a huge part in this..there is a spaciousness that was not there before. More openness and room for each other. Thank you for this invitation to share Joel, it’s gorgeous to read all the comments confirming the ever-growing love that is us.
Amazing Joel, as I had just written a comment on another blog about allowing each other as a couple to grow together instead of getting into comparison or jealousy, and the very next thing I read was your account of the same experience! It shows our connection, and I have to say my wife and I can definitely be added to the beautiful list of couples inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I know a few couples who have taken inspiration from the work of Universal Medicine. I have over the years seen some relationships move apart and what amazes me the most is that I haven’t seen any bitterness or resentment from either side after the “break up”.
Someone once told me it wasn’t possible for that to happen but I have seen it with my own eyes.
Joel I love what you have written about allowing each person the choice to grow together or apart. Something for me to take into my day today. Thank you!
Thank you Joel, how allowing we are with each other as we unfold on our paths is so important, otherwise reactions, judgement and everything else can creep in.
Thank you Joel, I love this confirmation of the depths of love you feel in your relationship with your wife.
Just read this again Joel and still very encouraging… Thank you deeply
This is lovely Joel L. honesty, playfulness and openness are true foundations of any relationship, I love the way you present these back through your blog. We do make the choices and in my experience it’s vital to check in with that whenever I feel to, and appreciate how I have grown. What’s beautiful is all our relationships reflect this. Lovely.
I’ll add my name and my relationship with my wife to that list! (and I’m sure why wife would agree). Loved the quote here along the lines of that there is always a choice to grow and expand and develop together or to grow apart. To me it has always felt that even though their can often be friction and changes and tension in relationships and you may not always agree with each other but the important bit is the commitment to grow together.
Thank you Joel, and everyone for the beautiful claiming of love in your relationships – very inspiring indeed.
The thing I have learnt from Universal Medicine courses and practitioners is to look at my part to play in a situation. With regard to relationships I always blamed the other person if I was unhappy or not satisfied, and thought they didn’t love me or appreciate me or get me. I can now look at my part in this and rather than wait for the other person to do what I want or need them to do, I can start to bring the care, love and attention I crave to myself, and my partner gets to be with someone who is more loving caring and attentive, instead of someone who is frustrated, needy and miserable. This has made relationships much more enjoyable of course, although there are still issues, I have the ability to look at them, and not just walk away. All my relationships are deepening, because of the way I take responsibility for how I am in them.
Add me to the list, my relationship with myself, all others and definitely my husband have been dramatically improved by my putting in place simple and practical techniques picked up from attending Universal Medicine courses. My husband and I’s relationship is always evolving as is essential, but it feels so much more respectful, honest, non- judgemental and loving than it ever has and I look forward to where this can take us – powerful stuff!
This is a great sharing Samantha and something I feel is very important to note how powerful it is to not judge another but simply hold them in respect as another human being, we are not taught this as children and as a consequence we are then left getting caught in all the issues, hurt and turmoil that we see each and every day among society.
I like your blog Joel, You can add Julie and myself to the list, we have been married for 28 years and our love just keeps growing daily.
Very inspiring Joel. Yes, every single choice matters. If my joy disappears I just need to look at my recent choices and I can understand why. This can be confronting, but also how empowering! We are the ones who can make a difference to ourselves and take that into relationship with other people. Yes this can then be confronting for others, but I love what you say…”there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart”.
I totally agree with you Joel.
Just looking at the comments there is an amazing and beautiful list of wonderfully inspiring couples!
The love that people can commit to for themselves and as a couple is something that can cause relationships to flourish and grow to become truly beautiful.
You can include Priscila and I to that list Joel! Great blog!
Thank you Joel, You can Julie and myself to your list. We have been married for 26 years and after 8 years of being inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we are now having an amazing life…after years of just living.
Joel, absolutely agree with all you shared. You can add Priscila and Gustavo to the list!
I, too, totally agree with what you have shared Joel and you can add Jonathan and Rowena to the list.
A great sharing Priscila and I can say that I could not count on one hand how many relationships that have completely changed since knowing and working with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. Magic is all I can say.
Thank you Joel for bringing up relationships to their true purpose. Having been married for 35 years and knowing Serge Benhayon for the last 12 years, he has reflected to us a great joy, truth and harmony as a way of being in relationship with everyone that I had not experienced or felt anywhere else before. He has shared it with us all and shows how it really can be if we take that responsibility for ourselves. A beautiful true way of living for us all.
Thanks Joel, I’m glad I read this blog right now. I for one needed a timely reminder of this: as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules… it’s sometimes hard to let your partner be where they’re at – but you, I, always have a choice. Coming from a background of being the one that helps, AKA inflicts myself on people, this is seemingly a hard momentum for me to break. Your words feel supportive to that. 🙂
Thank you Joel, you can add me and my beautiful husband to the list too. Before meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine our relationship was very rocky and unsettled. Through choosing to become aware of our choices, deal with our pain and communicate our real feelings, our relationship has blossomed and we are now joyfully married and love each deeply.
Thank you Joel, a beautiful reflection for us all. Universal Medicine has inspired many many people to deepen their relationships, whether with colleagues at work, family, friends or partners. For myself personally, teachings from Universal Medicine have helped me enrich current relationships, build stronger truer foundations and lovingly bring more joy into my every day. Yay for Universal Medicine!!
Joel L, this is beautiful to read how your “relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be”, deeply inspiring.
I agree, it is a beautiful thing to experience in a relationship.
I fully agree Rebecca, with my relationship with my partner it is far deeper than I ever thought was possible with another person and it is deepening everyday.
Hi Joel, you can add another couple to that list. Me and my husband have been married for 21 years and since attending the Universal Medicine presentations with Serge Benhayon I have started to take greater responsibility for my own joy and love. As a result our relationship is more loving, playful, deeper and there is a greater respect for one another.
Thanks Joel. As another positive statistic – Sam and I have often said that we would have not made it as a couple without the personal self development that we have embarked on both individually and together. The choices I have made for myself have brought more harmony into our relationship… imagine, I don’t even need to tell him what to do to change the way I relate to him and in turn he relates to me!?! The quality that we share is being refined all the time and that is pretty cool – amazing is never ending so why stop and place limits on what can be…?
I agree Kyla, the same goes for myself and Meg – we would not be where we are today let alone together without the inspiration from Universal Medicine.
You can add my husband and I to the list…. awesome… our connection is so much more deeper than it ever has been in our 24 years of marriage.
Beautifully said Joel. I have found the presentations by Universal Medicine a HUGE support in developing all relationships. I am learning more and more about the importance of taking full responsibility for myself and my choices and I’m now more open to see how this affects another. Endeavouring to base all choices on love is the greatest gift we could offer anybody, especially ourselves.
Yes I agree Beverley, endeavouring to base our choices on love is an immensely beautiful gift, the most gracious in the world. Universal Medicine has been an invaluable source of support and wisdom for me too, in my journey back to Love again. I whole heartedly recommend it as deeply worthwhile, truly healing and universally encompassing all the multi-facetted aspects of being human.
And to add, my marriage was on the rocks a couple of years ago, but after taking responsibility for my own choices (soon after I started listening to UM presentation), things turned around and we are joyfully on our right path, so add us to the list!
Awesome post Joel. I love the honesty and the clear awareness you have when you write “…there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience…”. I have been saying this to myself often since reading your post, it is sooo true and so clearly felt in my body it’s impossible to deny. I love your blogs, keep ’em coming. 🙂
I can second all you say Joel…
Hi Joel, you can add our marriage to the list. Since applying what Universal Medicine teaches our marriage of 20 years has changed immeasurably. We too have more love, more playfulness, more sexiness, more communication, more fun and more allowing the other person to be who they are. Whilst we still have our oops and even ouch moments, the vast majority of the time it is gorgeous and just keeps getting gorgeouser!
Rod Harvey and Sue Kira… add our names to the list Joel!
My relationship with myself is improving and this then directly relates to my relationships with others, all others, from partners, children, friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances. At times as you have stated Joel they are not easy or comfortable but I am committed to growth for myself and so absolutely committed to the choice that deepens my connection with others. I love it because in all my relationships I have so much reflected back for me to look at.
Well Joel, if I may speak on behalf of my husband too, you can add our name to what I’m sure will be a growing list of relationships where choosing to be more love together is made over and above the choice to grow apart. This loving support of each other is a beautiful thing to start to feel and develop.
Hi Joel, I agree a list would definitely be worth seeing. Through developing myself as a man and learning the importance of communication I am now in a loving relationship. We are both choosing to learn and develop ourselves both as individuals and also together. Why choose to be stubborn and grow apart when there is seemingly endless amounts of love to be shared together. Thank you for sharing Joel.
Thanks Joel, great article, the enrichment in my relationships with friends, family and with men have all benefited hugely from expressing more of me and taking responsibility for the demands I have placed on people in the past. I am constantly learning about relationships and yes I have had a lot of support from UM teachings on this. So I wholeheartedly agree this would be a list worth seeing : ). And many of the hundreds of articles on these blogs are also testament to the enrichment people have experienced in relationships… and the articles just keep coming in. Worth celebrating really :).
Beautiful Joel, you can add myself and my husband to that list! We have been married for 14 years and after 11 years of being inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I can truly say that our connection with each other is much deeper than we once ever thought possible – because our connection to ourselves is much deeper than we thought possible.