On the Verge of Being Dumped

by Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane

I like to use metaphors to describe where I am at each moment. A year ago, I felt like I was walking a tightrope. The tightrope was very saggy, very swingy and each step along that tightrope was difficult, but I was at least travelling forward. Bit by bit, that tightrope became tauter, stronger, more still, albeit I still felt like I was walking it.

The metaphor I feel like today is similar, but maybe less life threatening! Life often feels like I’m at a surf beach, diving through waves. Have you ever noticed that waves tend to come in sets of about six or seven?  Then there is a bit of a rest, where you can catch your breath and prepare for the next set. Sometimes that next set is an onslaught, where each dive under the wave is an effort, you get messed around in the froth, the sand; you barely have enough time to take another breath before you need to dive under the next wave, you may not even get to push off and dive under the wave, just duck under so you don’t get dumped. You’re exhausted by that set and nervous about the next, as surely it will come too soon.

And sometimes it’s a set of waves that you navigate with ease and harmony. Your timing in diving under the wave is perfect, you feel the swell of the wave above and around you, but you don’t get caught up in the swirl of the water. You have time to wipe your eyes, keep your hair off your face, take a look at where the next wave is coming from, take a deep breath and push off the sand with your two feet to dive deeply under with a strong body…and your swimsuit stays on too 🙂

For me, life can be like the surf. Those seven or so waves in a set represent my job, my husband, myself, my child, my child’s school life, my friends, my house.

Whenever I am on the verge of being dumped by the waves, I notice that I make a special effort to use a bunch of support mechanisms that I have learnt over my lifetime, with many learned in the past two years since listening to Serge Benhayon’s presentations. I have learned that what I can do to support myself is to breathe gently, or take a warm, moisturising bath, or make a super nurturing, light meal, or light some incense, or put on super comfy clothes, or take plenty of time to blow dry my hair, apply makeup, moisturise, paint my nails, or go for a long, easy walk or swim, or visit a friend, or do a meditation, or brew some herbal tea in a pretty teapot, or fold laundry (very soothing for me!), or tenderly moisturise my hands and feet… etc.

When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me. I feel so grateful that I have people around me who have shown me many different ways that I can truly support myself.

202 thoughts on “On the Verge of Being Dumped

  1. Thank you Suzanne, I love this and all the little examples you give that support you through your day to stay with you and enjoy yourself to not go under and into survival mode.

  2. Suzanne, loved your analogies and the nurturing and supportive tools you use to bring you back to you. Has me feeling I too need to appreciate the tools I now have and to remember that despite the waves and bumps in life, by using these tools we can always bring ourselves back to a centred state. It really is as simple as that.

    1. People who are in a ‘centred state’ really stand out as most of us are thrashing around in the waves, which makes the state of half drowning completely normal when in fact it’s not, it’s not at all normal.

  3. I love symbology too, and what you have used is true. Awareness in the moment of what is happening, and the ability to observe it, supports how I am in that moment. It’s like the moment you stand waiting for the next set of waves, then taking the breath you need, start your forward movement rather than letting the wave dictate how you will be tossed around. The old saying ‘Life happens’ is true but we have the choice about how we will be in that, and the way we can support and bring order to us. As you have shared Suzanne, we can choose to connect to ourselves and put in place the ways that will allow this connection to remain strong and loving. I love the warmth, tenderness and strength of choosing to hold the preciousness of who I truly am.

  4. Thank you Suzanne. I loved this analogy as I feel I have spent a lot of my life being dumped by the waves, and it is only since listening to the super practical suggestions in Universal Medicine presentations that I now have so many tools to support me in navigating my life with ease and joy.

  5. Nothing resonates with me like an analogy! When I feel myself get overwhelmed with what life throws my way, I do always reach for the tools I’ve learnt through Universal Medicine to remind me that there simply is no point in living in anxiousness. Sometimes, however I find that I might choose to stay in the drama of the situation for a while (for no good reason other than it’s a familiar place to be), only to eventually implement my tools and realise that it was a big waste of time letting myself get caught up in something that simply wasn’t worth it. It’s all learning….and I can safely laugh at myself for my sometimes repetitive and nonsensical choices.

  6. Wonderful analogy Suzanne. I too have been dumped by the waves on numerous occasions, but have developed strategies , similar to yours, that support me at these times. I love what you write at the end, ” When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to the level of stillness that is me.” Beautiful.

  7. I agree with you, Suzanne. What Serge Benhayon presents has supported me also to experience life with ease, and even at challenging times, I wobble much less than I used to.

  8. I love the supportive actions you are presenting here. They are definitely a great support if the waves are too strong and taking you out of rythm 🙂

  9. I love the analogy of the waves Suzanne and what they represent for you. Sometimes I know that I can get that ‘sinking feeling’ when I get carried away with tasks and things to do and put myself ‘back there somewhere’. I love those very simple things that you use to bring yourself back to you and that you recognise the need for this because you are not feeling amazing – what a start point.

  10. I love the metaphors you use Suzanne, they convey a very simple but powerful message.
    “When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me”.
    Thank you for the reminder to come back to basics so that we can enjoy and appreciate our fullness and stillness.

  11. A beautiful sharing Suzanne. Through our gentle breath, the stillness that is within everyone one of us is a beautiful place from where we can always connect to our essence and so have the wisdom to know what is needed at any given moment. If we do get thrown off by a huge wave of life experience we always have this stillness to return to, to guide us through the next set – so even in the roughest waters we always have within the stillest of waters within from where we are able to navigate our true way.

  12. Beautiful Suzanne, I like the analogy very much and I can so relate. This is very supportive for me to read thank you.

  13. Very beautiful how you have your tools to support yourself in place, It is indeed very important to give ourself support in every moment.

  14. Awesome Blog Suzanne , it makes so much sense to do those loving and supportive things for ourselves in a world that doesn’t always support us back that way in its sometimes very fast paced ,loveless ways. For me it is those little acts of self care , planning and doing that make all the difference .

  15. Very beautifully expressed Suszanne. I love how it changes the perspective about daily tasks and puts them into context of self loving actions. I learned this too, coming back to myself through cooking, grocery shopping, vacuum cleaning and generally setting up my space to be lovingly held in.

  16. Going back to basics is great advice Suzanne, I am sure many people who are struggling to cope with life and the challenges they meet would appreciate that. When I feel things get on top of me it is great to have the awareness of going back to basics and doing the simple things that support me to look after myself. From there it is then much easier to meet the challenges of life head on.

  17. Suzanne I love your analogy here about the waves. It’s like everyone experiences these waves, and some people you find have a great rhythm in their life which allows them to dive smoothly through their waves and others that are at the mercy of each wave and feeling helpless, disoriented and lost. I know I’ve experienced the two.
    My life has become far more joyous and purposeful since embracing the work of Universal Medicine, and just because I am a student does not mean I don’t experience the waves, but it’s the way that I handle them that makes the difference in how steady I am in my day to day life. There has been a process for me to actually accept that these life waves will actually never stop. I’m not destined to make my life perfect and create still water, but I am here to learn how to live in rhythm with all that life provides me, and that is actually a blessing.

  18. It is great to have this kind of support and inspiration. One thing I find quite supportive at the moment is listening to or singing along to the music produced by Glorious Music.

  19. Gorgeous Suzanne. What stands out for me is the quality you bring to yourself, to support all that you may meet in life – the loving quality of the nurturing ‘thing’, the way in which you hold yourself. This is most surely the key to holding ourselves steady, consistently so… rather than if a wave does ‘dump us’, scrambling around further, and perhaps engaging in activities that can throw us out all the more (which I know I would have done much more of in the past also!).
    A beautiful sharing and great analogies, thank-you.

  20. I loved reading this, I like analogies! It makes me feel how simple life is and how if I support myself with nurturing moments to stay connected with myself, I feel amazing. Thank you Suzanne.

    1. Yes delorme2013 Suzanne’s blog brings a real appreciation to how gentle and simple these tools actually can be while also symbolically sharing the fact that there is a power, a rhythm and a grace to our daily life just as there is in the ocean.

  21. Suzanne, I love your list of support mechanisms you use when you feel you are “on the verge of being dumped by the waves.”

  22. However great we may feel, we cannot stop life from happening around us. We are all connected to everything, and having these techniques to support us through those times when ‘life’ is happening is so instrumental in enabling us to deal with whatever presents itself to us.

  23. Great metaphors Suzanne. I agree life does sometimes feel like the surf. Reflecting back on my experiences of playing in the surf I can feel how the times when it felt easy and harmonious (no dumping involved) were the times when I was really with my body, feeling joyful, playful and full of me, not times when I had gone into the water to seek some kind of relief – those times held tension, nervousness, trying to get it right, followed by the inevitable dumping, and also a hardness in my body. So if I apply this to life, if I am looking to someone or something for any kind of relief it’s not going to feel great in the end. I had never thought about it this way before so thank you for sharing.

    1. ‘So if I apply this to life, if I am looking to someone or something for any kind of relief it’s not going to feel great in the end’. The problem with looking to someone or something for relief is that there is no end. The feeling that something has come to an end only comes when the source of the tension has been completely and irrevocably dealt with as opposed to temporarily buried.

  24. Many years ago, I was in a life threatening situation swimming in Uruguay in a quiet sea. Suddenly everything changed and pushed by the water I ended up swimming in a very dangerous spot: near by an old sunken ship. The waves were coming one after the other. The flow of the water was away from the coast. It took a lot of courage and strength to swim back to the coast. Perhaps for this reason when a friend of mine did asked me two words to define the sea I said beautiful and treacherous. Afterwards he said to me that talking about the sea I was expressing my feeling about life. My feeling about life was confirmed by life itself. I do carry the feeling that life can be treacherous but I have learned to see its beautiful side too. By connecting to it and starting to heal my hurts, I am learning slowly but certainly to not swim to the other feeling anymore.

  25. I love how you related it back to being in the surf. I feel that if we are not aware and not present in the moment, we will get dumped and pushed all over the place, by the wave and in life..but when we are aware, and can see the next wave, we can make choices about how we are going to approach it. This way, we can’t blame the wave, but we can be responsible for how we are with it.

    1. So true Rosie. I have often blamed the wave in the past but am now learning to take responsibility for how I am with it.

  26. I am sure we can all use some practical tips to keep our head above water from time to time. It is certainly true for me that I have learnt some great ways to manage the difficult times through the support of others and their ways for how to self care. What is also so great is how easy to do the tips you share are.

  27. I really enjoyed reading your article, and I love how you use metaphors to illustrate aspects of your life. Thank you Suzanne.

  28. Thanks for sharing, Suzanne. I love how you wrote:
    ‘When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me.’
    I love the ‘stop, feel, connect’ ritual you have that brings you back to yourself and works for me as well.

  29. I have done very little surfing in my life but I can so relate to what you have described. I too find coming back to basics that truly nurture me and my body and allowing my reconnection to that stillness that is me is absolutely essential to feeling free and expansive and being in harmony with a natural flow again.

  30. This is great Suzanne, I love your practical list of things that support you, like ‘brew some herbal tea in a pretty teapot, so simple and lovely. It’s feels very true and inspiring to read,’When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me’

  31. When situations and feelings start to appear to be getting on top of us, like you said going back to the basics is key.

  32. I love the set of waves reference. Sure there are times when we get dumped but the love of the beach keeps us going back. Beautiful Suzanne.

  33. What an awesome and timely reminder, “When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me.” Thank you so much for this. Ariana Ray UK.

  34. Yes that is exactly it, Suzanne. I have found in recent years it is not that life no longer throws me curve balls, but rather I navigate them differently, thanks to Universal Medicine and all the life skills I now have.

  35. Totally agree — folding washing is the best! It does really help me be present when things get too busy. Thanks for a great article Suzanne.

  36. Thank you Suzanne – I love the reminder to go back to basics when things don’t flow or don’t feel amazing – a great reminder for me. It really is that simple.

  37. I can really relate to your waves in the surf analogy and appreciate the reminders of how to come back to being gentle with myself to reconnect. Thanks for posting.

  38. I just loved this blog Suzanne! I especially got a giggle out of the phrase “and your swimsuit stays on…”. I can relate to what you express here – in the past, I found quite regularly that I was being dumped by the waves (and often loosing parts of my swimsuit, or having them rearranged at least!) – that is, I was regularly finding that I did not have the care of myself or the support (from myself or others) to navigate my way through the situations and experiences that I encountered in life, and would often find myself over-whelmed and simply in survival mode (anxious about the next thing that might come my way, and finding the next thing (wave) coming at me before I had recovered from the last…).

    Over the past few years, I have begun taking more care of myself (& yes ‘at times’ (not always!), I too find folding laundry a nurturing process…) and experiencing how supportive this is for myself (and others), and how I am more able to navigate through all the experiences and situations in life more easily, – and with far much more time to prepare in-between for the next thing, so that it does not feel like an onslaught (or being dumped!). Of course, there are still times when my swimsuit gets a little out of place (and occasionally goes missing altogether…!), but those times are less and less often, and I am more easily able to connect back to myself (including any necessary adjustments to my swimsuit as necessary :-)) and be ready to ride the next wave…

    Thank you again for such a beautiful blog – I just loved this metaphor – and it has inspired me to really reflect on this more deeply.

  39. Great analogy ! I can relate to this, and I love your exploration of practical ways to avoid being dumped at the end. It’s wonderful to feel what’s needed on any given day and honour it, thank you.

  40. I love your metaphors, Suzanne, and they really speak to me. I have never thought of life as a set of waves, yet that is a perfect analogy the way you have described things. I too have realised the best support for ‘taking life on the chin’ is what I do for myself to ‘recharge my battery’ so I am connected deeply to myself before facing the next set of waves.

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