On the Verge of Being Dumped

by Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane

I like to use metaphors to describe where I am at each moment. A year ago, I felt like I was walking a tightrope. The tightrope was very saggy, very swingy and each step along that tightrope was difficult, but I was at least travelling forward. Bit by bit, that tightrope became tauter, stronger, more still, albeit I still felt like I was walking it.

The metaphor I feel like today is similar, but maybe less life threatening! Life often feels like I’m at a surf beach, diving through waves. Have you ever noticed that waves tend to come in sets of about six or seven?  Then there is a bit of a rest, where you can catch your breath and prepare for the next set. Sometimes that next set is an onslaught, where each dive under the wave is an effort, you get messed around in the froth, the sand; you barely have enough time to take another breath before you need to dive under the next wave, you may not even get to push off and dive under the wave, just duck under so you don’t get dumped. You’re exhausted by that set and nervous about the next, as surely it will come too soon.

And sometimes it’s a set of waves that you navigate with ease and harmony. Your timing in diving under the wave is perfect, you feel the swell of the wave above and around you, but you don’t get caught up in the swirl of the water. You have time to wipe your eyes, keep your hair off your face, take a look at where the next wave is coming from, take a deep breath and push off the sand with your two feet to dive deeply under with a strong body…and your swimsuit stays on too 🙂

For me, life can be like the surf. Those seven or so waves in a set represent my job, my husband, myself, my child, my child’s school life, my friends, my house.

Whenever I am on the verge of being dumped by the waves, I notice that I make a special effort to use a bunch of support mechanisms that I have learnt over my lifetime, with many learned in the past two years since listening to Serge Benhayon’s presentations. I have learned that what I can do to support myself is to breathe gently, or take a warm, moisturising bath, or make a super nurturing, light meal, or light some incense, or put on super comfy clothes, or take plenty of time to blow dry my hair, apply makeup, moisturise, paint my nails, or go for a long, easy walk or swim, or visit a friend, or do a meditation, or brew some herbal tea in a pretty teapot, or fold laundry (very soothing for me!), or tenderly moisturise my hands and feet… etc.

When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me. I feel so grateful that I have people around me who have shown me many different ways that I can truly support myself.

210 thoughts on “On the Verge of Being Dumped

  1. Recognizing the pattern of waves is such a great asset, as well, knowing that we do know what to do if we get toppled over into the water would allow us to meet each wave with less tension and anxiety, we feel well prepared and equipped to deal with anything that may come our way, and in that surrendered state, we are actually less likely to fall, I find.

  2. What I found if during wave 2 I get out of rhythm I then become very aware of my movements for the next wave to get back into rhythm and continue this until it is done. Changing movements can be very powerful.

    1. Gorgeous to be reminded that by becoming aware of our movements, and changing these movements can support our return to a true rhythm.

  3. I agree – it’s not so much the getting dumped that is important but the getting back up and on our feet again. This list of techniques you have for doing this is awesome and a great reflection that life is about supporting ourselves with these loving moments – that eventually become our way of living.

    1. Yes. it is the ‘getting back up’ is the really important part and having a set of tools as presented are an invaluable support.

    2. One tool that’s super handy is not considering that getting dumped is a failure, accepting the wobble and returning to those supportive tools encourages one to get back out there and go again. Like kids learning to walk, they don’t beat themselves up after falling over again and again, they get up and off they go again.

  4. Absolutely know this one. I had to drag myself off for a walk the other day because I felt headachey and tired and just wanted to rest and yet knew at a deeper level that it was a walk that my body was calling for. I had an amazing walk and came back refreshed and regenerated ready for whatever presented it self, thoughts of resting had been washed away in the connection with nature and a deeper, truer, part of me.

  5. When you ‘up the love and care’ for yourself, you are more prepped for the world. Last night I prepared a nourishing meal for myself as I was not feeling very well. Part of me did not want to do that, but I did and it was lovely. It was a piece of yummy fish, some kale chips and stir fried veges. It is important to keep caring for yourself, some days I do it, and other days I don’t but I keep heading in that direction.

    1. That’s an awesome point Sarah. Building that consistency with yourself is so key. I too have days where I really want to give up all responsibility of self care, but I know It’s a slippery slope from there, so to the best of my ability I remind myself I’m worth the effort.

  6. Beautiful Suzanne, you choose to change your movements, when you feel you are no longer connected with yourself into supportive ones, to come back to your innate stillness. A foundation of love we all have inside.

    1. Yes and to then bring that stillness to our movements. We may not even need to stop to get to stillness.

    1. Yes, this is a great example. When we are stressed and racy, we are more likely to have an accident or make mistakes.

  7. Returning to the detail in the basics is a great key to confirm and consolidate our true inner foundation. The more we build on this, the less opportunity for our mind to grip us in self doubt or overwhelm
    “When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me”.

  8. There are many ways we can support ourselves as we navigate through life. Staying on the surface of the ocean we can get knocked around by the waves, or we can dive deeper into the ocean where the waters are still and settling. From reconnecting to the steadiness within we can observe all around us without getting drenched. Thank you Susan.

  9. A beautiful sharing and reflection on the ups and downs of life and the constant rolling waves coming and being in the flow or not depending on how we are feeling and our choices from there. The power we have with our choices and the time to gently give ourselves care nurturing and space lovingly with our body is very true and beautiful to feel and remember naturally.

  10. There are times when i have felt battered and bruised by the energy that I have let in, or the energy of old patterns emerging, but by choosing to come back to breath my own breath I can feel the energy of love flow through out my body bringing a sense of settlement within.

  11. An awesome way of looking at the developing nature of our everyday life. Sometimes the surf is absolutely massive (dare I say tidal wave) and seems it will never stop the dumping, but it will. If surrender, and commitment to love is there, the smoother waves are around the corner.

  12. We can all learn so much from observing and reading our surroundings in life, as we are being constantly provided with reflections to support us in learning what we have come to earth to learn. It is our responsibility as to whether we take these learnings on board or not.

  13. Learning to surf and navigate smoothly the waves of life is a responsibility that rests solely with ourselves. We can either become a victim of our own ill-choices or we can choose to make wise choices which supports a harmonious flow to our lives.

  14. We easily get caught in the tangle of life and going ‘back to basics’ is a simple and supportive way to returning back to ourselves.

    I love blow drying my hair something I avoided as before I didn’t have ‘time’ but when I included this in my rhythm I have space and I love blow drying my hair now.

    When I choose the eye shadows my eyes feel towards, my make up is different.

    So I steer to what ever to support me from being dumped on – love your sharing Suzanne.

  15. Deepening our relationship with our bodies allows us to handle the intensity that life often is around us. The deeper we go within ourselves the more solid we are to be in the world with all its challenges.

    1. This is very true Thomas. I find trying to solve the challenges in life with my head and rationalising things while leaving my body out of the picture doesn’t seem to work. This shows how powerful it is to connect to our body and listen to its wisdom and intelligence for guidance and support.

  16. A great metaphor for life and sometimes we can go with the flow and feel the water support us as we surf the wave.

    1. I like this metaphor too, and I love the way nature is always providing reflections for us, that when we observe and take note of such wisdom on our way, we are reminded that it is very possible to BE in the flow and the rhythm of life.

  17. ‘When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me’. What is it to nurture myself fully? I feel this is changing all the time but at the core level it is the attention and love that I am able to bring to myself when I can sense that dumping about to happen or the potential of it looming on the horizon.

  18. I also find folding washing supports me to return to a sense of centredness, maybe it’s something about bringing order! I still feel I crash with some waves (of life) but since studying with Universal Medicine I have many more tools to call on to support me, the primary one being my connection to myself and my inner resources. Self love and self care as a foundation in life is also very important, that’s what helps to hold me steady during difficulties.

  19. Learning to live in a way that truly supports us is life changing, so no matter what happens we are equipped to deal with it because we have established a level of self-care and self-love that constantly feeds us back.

  20. When we start to act from our head and leave our body behind we become less connected and riding the waves becomes something we have to try to do rather than have a feeling for or just knowing. It’s our level of awareness that allows us to clock when we are shifting away from ourselves and can alert us to making a move back before the dumping point.

  21. Life can be intense at times. When this happens, an agitation comes into our body. What we do when this happens is crucial. We can go for relief or we can make a conscious choice of bringing life to a point of truth which changes immediately how we feel in the body and the situation we are going through. Honouring truth is an art that is always based on simplicity, love and connection.

  22. Loved your metaphors of life, how you have found ways to support yourself as you are on the verge of being ‘dumped’. The key is to read the waves of life in advance which gives us space to prepare for what’s next.

  23. Thank you Suzanne for sharing the many ways of self love and care that you use to bring yourself back, it is the quality in our movements that make what we do self loving and nurturing, the other day I had a situation where I went into anxiousness and became wheezy in my chest, a slight movement of my body happened and in an instant all the wheeze and anxiousness disappeared it showed me how changing our movements changes the energy.

  24. On the other side of the coin – Why is it then that we continually repeat a behaviour that is harming to ourselves and each other? Why do we not learn from the first time it hurt?

  25. We can do many nurturing things for ourselves but unless we do them in a quality that confirms us they are just solutions, they work but they do not truly evolve us. I love that you have a set of go to things that support you and I think that is super important but what has always worked for me in whatever I do is my quality of movement. Then taking out the rubbish can be like a meditation or a cup of herbal tea.

  26. There is a rhythm in which life flows, that we too are a part of. Developing a loving relationship with ourselves and our bodies is what allows us to be guided to know what is needed to support us to live in accordance to this rhythm, so then our life lived becomes a natural flow of movements rather than a struggle or resistance to our innate way of being.

  27. I used to create so many dramas in life and even though I would be whinging non-stop it was an indulgence, it was something that defined me, there was an attraction – life was just a series of motion, and I just had to move through it, and I used to think that was the whole point.

  28. It’s amazing how quick the support is or what to do is there when I check in with my body and ask what do you need right now in this situation. If I don’t listen, then that is when I get bolded over by the waves that are coming.

    1. So very true Aimee. It truly is awe-inspiring how our inner-wisdom is always on hand, we only need to surrender to it through connecting to the truth in our bodies.

  29. As always it is forever our choice whether we allow ourselves to ‘sink’ or ‘swim’ when living in this great sea of life. Our task is to learn to swim in a way whereby we do not take great lungfulls of water into our lungs (absorb the world) but instead move in such a way that we rise above (observe in full) all that seeks to pull us under. This is done by the steadiness of our breath.

  30. As a kid, I used to love the feeling of diving through a wave. It’s a great analogy, in life; we always have stuff coming to us we can either choose to stay in our own rhythm or get beaten around by it.

  31. I absolutely love the simplicity of what you have shared here Susanne – metaphors are a playful way for us to understand how energy works in our day to day and how we handle things and how it makes us feel – a very powerful tool!

  32. A classic example of self-responsibility and self-love. Love it Suzanne and very inspiring how you see life and personally relate it back to you. There is much to ponder on here.

    1. You can’t possibly have self-love without responsibility to self because self-love comes as a result of being responsible for how we treat ourselves across all aspects of our lives. It’s no good taking care of ourselves only when we’re at home if we’re then gonna go out and trash ourselves at work, equally it doesn’t work to have loving relationships with our friends if we’re then happy to be abused in our family relationships. That’s not to say that we have to address everything at the same time but simply to say that eventually, everything needs addressing because in truth everything is made up of everything else.

  33. When we get ahead of ourselves or in delay through avoidance, coming back to basics brings us into the present moment and in reconnection to our body and inner self; connecting to our breath and our movements we feel who we are again and can appreciate ourselves. I love your metaphor of the waves and how it does feel like we are about to be dumped sometimes but we have these great tools, thanks to Serge Benhayon, to support us.

  34. The ‘basics’ are the essentials of life and we never graduate beyond them. They form our foundation in every step in life and support the solidness that allows us to glide through the waves of life.

  35. The waves are the rhythm of life so are we going with this flow and surrendering or are we trying to control, finding out our own independent way, which I have discovered does not truly exist and hurts us so much. When we choose our true nature and are in rhythm we feel we are part of a whole, a divine order in which we have our part to play, lovingly so.

  36. A wise woman once suggested we “go back to basics and stay there”, for really the basics are the foundations on which we build from so if we neglect them, our foundation becomes unsteady and unsafe.

  37. The waves are a great metaphor for life. Living in a way that is in respect to our body and to the greater ocean we are a part of allows us to move in rhythm with the flow of it, navigating the waves with ease and buoyancy.:)

  38. In a world that is about output, productivity and outcome, acts like tenderly moisturising ones hands or taking the time to choose a cup to make the tea in or looking out the window to enjoy the colours in the sky is considered a ‘waste of time’. We have lost the understanding and importance of these in between moments that nurture us and make our lives full and enjoyable and through that give us a foundation we stand on when things get a bit rough or turbulent.

  39. Thank you Suzanne for such a simple and beautiful reminder for any time we may feel overwhelmed or stressed in life – ‘When I don’t feel amazing, I then consciously go back to basics, stopping to nurture myself fully and come back to a level of stillness that is me.’

  40. Oh my goodness reading all of this made me say YES ‘is to breathe gently, or take a warm, moisturising bath, or make a super nurturing, light meal, or light some incense, or put on super comfy clothes, or take plenty of time to blow dry my hair, apply makeup, moisturise, paint my nails, or go for a long, easy walk or swim, or visit a friend, or do a meditation, or brew some herbal tea in a pretty teapot, or fold laundry (very soothing for me!), or tenderly moisturise my hands and feet… etc.’ It seems for me the last few weeks have been non stop and only a while ago I was reflecting how I need to support myself, to stop, to nurture and really this should not just be 1 hour or 1 day in a month but a way of living so that we do not get ‘caught in the wave’. This is what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine beautifully present and live and something I am still very much learning and a student of. Thank you for sharing. I’m booking myself a date with the bath 😄

  41. Suzanne your metaphors make it very clear on the choices we make in every moment either allows us to go through life simply or get knocked around. When I push and put pressure on myself my body feels like it’s been smashed by a wave, and the next thing that is asked of me feels huge and I want it all just to stop. But when I feel into what feels true to do next, the intensity is not there and instead it’s gentle rolling wave.

  42. It is our movements what create situations where we find ourselves on the verge to being dumped ‘by the waves’. Once we are in it, we can dive further by confirming the movements that led us there or we can put a stop to it by means of choices and a deliberate attempt to shift how we are moving. Getting there and getting out of there is merely an option.

  43. Your metaphors paint a very vivid picture of how we can either allow ourselves to get uptight and/or swept up in our daily lives or we can prepare ourselves by building a solid foundation via a few simple support mechanisms.

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