Appreciating Myself

This morning I needed to book several business flights online – something that would usually take me 10 minutes. Today the website was being temperamental and I had to spend a great deal longer going backwards and forwards, entering a lot of information and reserving seats. When I finally got to the last click to pay, the website suddenly took me back to the home page and lost all the information I had entered.

I gently stood up, went to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. I calmly returned to my computer to start the whole process again. As I sat down, I paused for a moment to appreciate myself. In the past I would have reacted and probably ranted and raved if something like that had happened. This time there was barely a blip. On the second round everything went smoothly and I quickly made my booking.

I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me. I know how unpleasant emotional reactions feel in my body and am not interested in them anymore, so they happen less and less. Equally, I have no desire to eat sugar because when I do I get all racy and that feels so horrible and noisy in my body. For these reasons many things have naturally changed; such as my diet, what I say, what I think, how I move and the energy I do things in.

Appreciating myself is something quite new for me: also a big note of appreciation to my beautiful Benhayon friends, who by being themselves showed me another way and inspired me to re-discover myself.

How lovely it is to enjoy being me – what could be better?!

By Nicola Lessing, Tweed, Australia

352 thoughts on “Appreciating Myself

  1. ‘I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me.’ How beautifull and how inspiring ❤️

  2. My life has transformed beyond words can describe since meeting the Benhayon family and others who attend Universal Medicine courses. I have rediscovered joy in the simplest of tasks, my chores are no longer a dread and my home is beautiful and tidy because of the quality I have remembered. I love my life, I love the people in my life and I love the values and understandings that I am constantly developing as a result of my interactions with everybody around me. Thank you Serge Benhayon, thank you Natalie and Simone Benhayon. Thank you Miranda Benhayon for your beautiful voice that lights up my car every time I drive and the student body who are here time and time again ready and willing to truly look at how they live every single moment of the day and refine it to bring truth, love and joy to this planet and thank me, for choosing to be a part of this, for being honest, open and willing to learn.

  3. Oh the tests we are sent!! Awesome how much you have changed, the plus is we all benefit because of the ripple effect it has. Very cool ✨

  4. Appreciation can change lives, and something that was said at a Universal Medicine presentation has stuck with me, and it went something like this – If you have a problem with someone, then you’re not appreciating them enough. Appreciating someone certainly changes the way we see that person and then realise the problem isn’t with them.

  5. Brilliant Nicola. What came to me by reading your experience is that in every moment we have a choice to be made. Holding and deeply appreciating us, or react and escape from the tension of going against our natural flow. It’s up to us.

  6. No reason to react, no reason to get emotional but appreciate – that would do for a good living guideline for us all, and the world would be immediately a far more harmonious place.

  7. I love those moments when I realise how much I’ve changed because of a situation. I find it very nurturing to look back and take stock of where I am now, how many things have changed within me, and appreciate it all. Sometimes we can be so busy working on ourselves and being in life we don’t stop to ‘smell the roses’ as they say, to just be, and take stock of it all, and enjoy where we are now.

    1. Thanks for sharing this Melinda because it makes me stop and appreciate the loving choices that I’m making in my life too, which feels a very solid foundation to moving on in this way.

      1. Or perhaps it is if you particularly enjoy or want things to be hard and complicated. Sometimes people like that as it gives them identity and stimulation and they can impress.

  8. There is such simplicity in this: we don’t have to try ‘not to be’ or ‘not to feel’ a strong emotional reaction after a time, because as we connect more to what we’re actually feeling, we get to the point where we feel that it is a choice and not just ‘who we are’ or ‘how I am’. We don’t have to be owned by our emotions.

    1. It is like there is always the choice of listening to the harmonious silence or clattering noise – which do you prefer?

  9. I really love the appreciation you have for yourself, Nicola. Everyone seems to get pulled into reaction so easily these days, it’s almost like it’s expected and if we don’t people think there’s something wrong with you. I love how appreciation counters so much of the negative thoughts and behaviours that are not true.

    1. It is true I am amazing and the more I appreciate myself the more I appreciate everyone else so get the joy of their amazingness too.

  10. When things try to push our buttons and we are able to stay with ourselves that is something to truly deeply appreciate and especially appreciate how far we have come.

    1. Yes, and there is such a freedom in not being a slave to button pushers as there are many about. In fact if someone has a go at pushing buttons and they are inactive that energy bounces back at them and their buttons go off!

      1. Just to add to that it actually gives the other person an opportunity for them too to heal their buttons!

    2. Yes this is so true, and when we do notice this and then appreciate it, it brings a deeper confirmation to the body.

  11. To get to the place, where have did Nicola, when something goes ‘wrong’ you don’t respond with a meltdown, is such a liberating place to be. It is wonderfully free of the need to rant, rave and blame someone else, or maybe yourself, and as you found it is full of appreciation for oneself and a new and simple way of being.

  12. A great example of how you were able to maintain your quality throughout without even a sniff of frustration or expectation. When we have clarity in our movements we take the unexpected in our stride.

    1. Must be ground hog day as happened again today. I have been trying to book flights all morning with the airline website not working. Whilst outwardly I have not reacted I have to admit after about 8 attempts and the fact that I have not managed yet, a sniff of frustration is lurking in the background!

  13. Frustration nearly always guarantees to create problems, so I now try to leave plenty of space to book tickets, or book anything on a computer or over a phone just in case there are any gremlins in the works and if there are I am prepared for them.

  14. Appreciating how our choices make us feel is an effortless way of changing behaviours. However appreciating how we feel is a behaviour in it’s own right and stopping to register how we feel can help us accept and appreciate how we feel.

  15. It is lovely to bring in the appreciation when we find ourselves about to be self critical or start to feel down on ourselves…I am finding appreciation to be a great strengthener and support for myself and I feel the spaciousness returning to my body.

  16. Last night something my partner did clearly crossed my values. Where I would normally react, with aggression even, I felt this anger building, but now I was able to say to myself: “Hey you are feeling very loving, and you stop on this road of becoming angry. It feels awful to go there” And back to love. Seemingly small step, big appreciation.

  17. It’s awesome that things outside of us can help us in our evolutionary journey here on earth, things that may seem trivial and things that seemingly just happen but I think everything happens for a reason for us to learn from or not. And you certainly took the opportunity to learn from the potentially going-nuts-on-the-computer moment.

    1. Yes, love is the most powerful healer. It is the same with everything, when I was younger I used to try and lose weight by controlling my diet and it never worked and I got into that yo-yo thing – up and down. Once I changed my diet through awareness and simply because it felt so much better to eat food that supported my body and it allowed me to be much more clear for others too it was all very simple. I quickly lost weight, reached my healthy weight and have stayed there now for over 12 years – never felt better!

      1. Great example Nicola. A topic that many people are struggling with. “Dieting” in the sense that you eat less and/or the things that only nourish you, should come from the body, be something natural you do.

  18. Its quite amazing when we feel we are less affected by the events that happen in life and in the world around us. Resulting in us being able to truly observe life. Being able to observe something that we would have normally been caught up in and thrown sideways by is quite extraordinary and definitely worthwhile stopping and appreciating.

    1. Yes observation and reaction are closely linked. The more you observe the less you react and the more you react the less you can observe. Once you have experienced the power and freedom of observation the bondage of reactions becomes even more ghastly.

  19. I love what you share here Nicola by letting go of any attachment to the computer not performing and holding up your day, and just stopping to appreciate you that everything started to flow again. It can be so easy to get frustrated, and from experience I have found that what should have been a simple task becomes a mammoth operation that can take half a day. It is a great reminder for us all to stop and take a moment and not be rushed by time or wanting to get things done.

  20. It sure seems like the way the flight booking went so smoothy the second time was confirmation of how when we do not react to things that are actually out of our control, it can bring a harmony to events around us. Also, it never changes what actually occurred when we get all emotional and upset as a result of something that does not go our way, only our body suffers from such reactions (as I am slowly learning).

    1. Also so called wrong things might not be so wrong at all as there is always a learning or reason things happen. For example we arrived at Heathrow airport yesterday and we were given the wrong place to wait for a bus to take us to the hire car. After a short while we figured that out and found the correct place. I wondered at the time why did that go wrong as it was the second thing on the journey which is unusual for me. When we arrived at the counter to pick up the car we told them so other people are not provided with the “wrong” place to wait and they gave us a free upgrade in compensation for our inconvenience – great result and much better car.

  21. Appreciating oneself is a beautiful act, particularly when what we are appreciating is not just an action (with all that this means in terms of how different we do things), but also when we appreciate how different do we feel in the body; how different do we feel and connect that which we do to how we move in life.

  22. When I appreciate myself for all that I am and also for all that I discard to reveal all that I am, I bless the world with the divine qualities that I came here to earth to share.

  23. This is a great inspiration for me, thanks, Nicola. When something doesn’t run smoothly, I am usually rather quick to judge it is not the right thing to do, or not the right time and move onto something else – but as you here share, the ‘how’ is definitely worth considering and reimprinting too.

    1. Yes it is always beneficial to discern (read) every situation. Sometimes things don’t go smoothly because they are very much the right thing to do and there is interference and sometimes as you say because they are not.

  24. A great blog Nicola, reminding me to not allow anything to disturb the gorgeous feeling I have when I am in connection to my inner being, keep it simple, take myself for a walk when there is a situation, and appreciate me being me.

  25. Nothing can be as lovely or more enjoyable as appreciating ourselves for being our self, this is so true. And when we do so life becomes a joy to behold no matter what comes our way.

  26. I love the simplicity with which you show that there is an alternative to the emotional drama of life that is far more pleasure and rewarding – the choice to stay connected with oneself.

    1. The benefits of simplicity and staying connected are so numerous that they are almost dramatic in themselves by way of contrast to the disharmony of emotions and complexity!

    1. Sometimes when we choose love we can be faced with drama, chaos and all that is not love from outside, but that never needs to stop us being and living the love that we are and have chosen.

  27. You are absolutely right Nicola, there is nothing greater than being who we are, this is true freedom. And the power of appreciation cannot be underestimated as this is what confirms everything that is true about us and our movements in honor of who we are.

  28. Two big lessons ‘for the price of one’ here Nicola, thank you. Learning to not react – and hence create a lot of unnecessary drama – followed by a second course of appreciation. A life-changing 300 words if ever there were any.

  29. ‘I have no desire to eat sugar because when I do I get all racy and that feels so horrible and noisy in my body.’ I have noticed this with people I work with, when there are tricky things to deal with, sweets and chocolate bars seem to be the thing they go to for some sort of reprieve from their anxiousness, and actually what happens, is they get speedier and more demanding and less easy to negotiate with. My challenge is to not react to this, but to keep centred and connect more deeply with my inner core that is steady and can be a rock at times like this.

    1. Another reason people eat sweet things is to get an energy hit or to stimulate themselves because emotions such as anxiety are quite exhausting – of course the “medication” (sugar) they take only makes it worse.

      1. Yes, thank you Nicola, this shows what a vicious circle it is and reaching for sugar or sweet things can so easily become an addiction.

  30. I have found walking away when things are not going so well usually helps, it gives me a moment to feel what is going on and look at why I am getting frustrated. More often than not it is usually because I have not allowed myself enough time and trying to rush things.

    1. Beautifully said Joshua and a powerful reminder of the fact that our essence, our Soul is ever-present and ever-ready to shine in truth through any situation through our living day.

  31. What you describe here is huge. We are so used to being focused on the next thing and the next that we are constantly ahead of ourselves and on the go to catch up. What you show here is that a simple stop and focusing on ourselves, how we move, how we touch things. In other words feeling our body brings us into the dimension of now and whatever needs to be done gets done but is not the all.

    1. Reading this conversation thread has reminded me that there is something else that’s ahead, that is more dimensions of ourselves we can deepen into, and this is something constantly being offered and communicated to us. I have to wonder if my mental focus on what’s ahead in terms of temporarily tasks is just a diversion away from the true evolutionary next step!

  32. Nicola, its very gorgeous how you took moment to appreciate yourself, I also never used to appreciate myself, this has changed now and the appreciation I have for myself feels very building and gives me a foundation where I now feel confident in myself and who I am.

  33. Just reading this brought back the memory of all the frustration such an incident would have used to cause me, similarly whenever one has to call a utility company who rely on using call centres in somewhere such as India. I feel so blessed to no longer allow myself to get so frustrated and my blood pressure has improved considerably as a result.

    1. Yes and probably also the blood pressure of the person at the other end of the phone – they must get assaulted all the time by frustrated people!

  34. I had to laugh at this because for years I would react to connecting to my online banking and hated using it, but then reading this I can appreciate that that very rarely happens these days. Love the getting up and re-starting the procedure.

    1. I love that Julie. I also keep having the experience where suddenly something that used to be a huge issue simply no longer exists – I can hardly even remember what the problem was 🙂

  35. This morning during an Esoteric Yoga session there was so much appreciation in how I can easily feel settled and content within myself when compared to 3/4 years ago. The more I settle in and accept how amazing I am the less tempting it becomes to react or act as if I am not amazing.

  36. Such a simple tool, to get up and get out of the movement that one was in to then be able to start afresh, instead of staying stuck and exhausting oneself in emotional drama that does not change the situation at hand one bit.

    1. Yes even changing our posture at the desk can make a huge difference. Any conscious movement supports. A short walk is also fantastic even if just a few steps.

  37. Having moments appreciating how far we have come are invaluable. For me these moments deeply consolidate where I am at and prevents taking my life for granted.

  38. I can see and feel that so much has changed for me over the years, but not always do I stop and appreciated myself for the choices made, such a simple and beautiful blog Nicola appreciating the gorgeous you, reminding me there is so much on offer to appreciate.

  39. This blog keeps popping up all the time…..and today I so appreciated that, having at first thought to find another and then stopping to ask what is this showing me I realised how dismissive I can be. I realised that this dismissiveness is also in my relationship to myself and I have been berating myself instead of appreciating myself. There is so much to appreciate and when I start it just grows and I feel the space opening up inside and all around me.

  40. This is the key, appreciation that takes you more into you. It’s not for anything else other than the way it feels and how it then supports you to move through the world. I think this is a great example in the article of how we can choose to either go into life or pause and make another choice that then supports us to walk around in a different way. It would seem that most things currently in the world are attempting to push us another way and yet when you hold yourself, meaning hold how you truly feel, the world is then also pulled to align to that. We are the centre of things more than we currently care to know.

    1. That is so true, it does seem as if most things are attempting to push or even nudge us another way, but as you say when we hold true a whole other space opens up!

      1. Yes and the “push or even nudge” seems deliberate, like something knows that if we truly settle then all would be lost. We have built a life around things that don’t truly support us and so when we are purely in physical life then we are taken by what it offers. Life like this becomes almost single dimensional and yet that’s not how we truly are and so it’s a restriction or a contraction of this trueness. Appreciation, true appreciation breaks open the physical dimension of life and allows us to see further and bring more space into our life.

  41. It is very easy to let appreciation of self slip by, to be able to see the giant patch of things that aren’t right yet, to be able to focus on the failings we all have. But what if the path to changing those failings was to appreciate the being within, the loveliness each of us is in any moment, and from there all can change.

    1. I wonder why it is easy to let appreciation slip by when there is so much to appreciate. Maybe because we love the identification of having issues and problems and even make them up so we can solve them.

  42. ‘I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me.’ Brilliant, Nicola, that’s it exactly. There comes a point in one’s mastery of life and self where reactions such as frustration feel awful and pointless. What a great place to get to.

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