For six years now I have been studying, learning and growing with Universal Medicine. Before Universal Medicine, life did not make sense for me and I had given up on myself, others and life.
Growing up, my mother was protestant and my father belonged to another small church – but neither really cared much about religion.
When it was time for my protestant confirmation, I thought about not doing it – as it was my choice. One of the reasons I did it was because of the big celebration which was held for me… and all the presents and attention I got.
I knew the protestant religion didn’t mean anything to me… when I read the bible or heard stories about Jesus I could not relate to it. When I was sitting in church listening to the priest, I didn’t feel comfortable and it didn’t make sense. Singing songs in the church also made me feel uncomfortable – it was rather artificial.
What I liked in school religion was discussing really how to care about others and about society – and this was something I was interested in. But religion itself for me was an empty word and had no meaning. We hardly went to church; only at Christmas as far as I can remember…
As a child I had a strong sadness, I felt very alone, I was crying a lot and felt that the world was different and that people didn’t understand me; I didn’t know how to deal with it.
Later I blamed my parents strongly for it, but it was not their fault. I now see that this is the way I had chosen to Iive for so many lifetimes. I realise how much I had given up on who I truly am, and the knowing in my heart.
When I was in my mid 20’s, I decided that there is no God.
Life didn’t make sense. I didn’t live in harmony and I only saw misery around me.
When I was 30, an illness made me stop and look for a different way to live.
Half a year later I met my beautiful partner and experienced a connection I had not felt before.
We both went to England to participate at a workshop held by Serge Benhayon.
Then everything started to slowly change.
The way Serge lived and what he was expressing made sense: he taught us that everything is energy.
…And life began to make sense again.
I agreed and felt that he spoke and lived truth.
The challenge was to constantly let go of all the things that didn’t support being truly me, and to start to accept and allow myself to feel my amazing essence – that there is love and joy in my heart. In expressing it I can expand and share this with others.
It took years to let Serge’s message in – that we are all love and that it is about being me. So simple.
I began to understand that we are not really separate but one: that’s why brotherhood and harmony with everybody is necessary. And that we are here on earth to reclaim that we are originally divine and loving by nature… then to reflect that to others who have forgotten or, are strongly denying it.
I know now that true religion is in me. True Religion is to be in connection with my divine essence: the connection I have to myself.
All I have to do is become still and give myself the permission to feel me; my Soul and God reveals the depth of love that I am
I am a Son of God. Divine and amazing in essence – we all equally are. And my purpose is to be a reflection of love to other people.
Today I could feel the pain of having not reflected my truth to other people: this hurts deeply in my body.
I can feel how strongly I have held my truth and true expression back to avoid reactions or to not rock the boat. I’ve not allowed myself to be seen and heard as joyful and loving. This was deeply ingrained in me, but now it feels time to speak and live the truth.
I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.
So, welcome Janina – Son of God.
I am a Son of God and Universal Medicine has reminded me of that fact: and, that we are all equal Sons of God, all-knowing in our divine essence.
By Janina Koch, Cologne/Germany
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569 thoughts on “From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God”
Life only makes sense when we see and feel life though our inner heart, from here we see the devastation and turmoil around us yet we have a deep knowing that supports us to feel how deeply loved we all are and that how we are currently living is not it.
“I have lived denying my own power, inner-knowing and amazing beauty. Now I am beginning to feel how awesome and beautiful I am.” Beautiful Janina. So many of us are living less than – and that serves no-one. Time to reclaim ourselves.
What we deny ourselves, we deny others, and the emptiness we feel in this world is because we are collectively denying others and ourselves equally the true essence of who we are.
We live so far away from who we truly are, from what we truly are that it can take us years, decades even to return to this natural state of being. We can actually be very addicted to the misery, to the feeling of unworthiness that it takes us time, step after step to let go of this and start to walk with our heart again.
This is where Universal Medicine has supported so many people, to return to the truth, ‘Before Universal Medicine, life did not make sense for me and I had given up on myself, others and life.’
‘…And life began to make sense again.’ Yes, when I first met Serge Benhayon I could feel the truth he lives. All the lies I saw in society, in family that I’d wondered how I would ever live with, now all made sense. This is still developing in me as I notice the lies all around me, and that I live too because it’s ‘easier’ than accepting how far humanity is from living the glory we truly are. Deep gratitude to Serge Benhayon for showing me that actually it’s not easier to pretend humans are just human, but that we have fallen, and it’s possible to return to who we truly are.
It is possible to return to who we truly are that we miss so much, ‘As a child I had a strong sadness, I felt very alone, I was crying a lot and felt that the world was different and that people didn’t understand me; I didn’t know how to deal with it.’ What a blessing Universal Medicine came into your life.
Looking out and seeing the harshness and cruelty in the world, it’s understandable how many of us have felt deeply hurt by this and afraid to show the world who we really are. But equally so, when we allow ourselves the space and time to connect to what we always knew was true, a whole other world unfolds, one that is full of joy, harmony and love, and tells us that we come from the same Divine source as God.
Who would not choose a world full of joy, love, harmony, and truth, ‘The challenge was to constantly let go of all the things that didn’t support being truly me, and to start to accept and allow myself to feel my amazing essence – that there is love and joy in my heart.’
Understanding our true origin and claiming we are divinely connected as a Son of God delivers an understanding of how it can be confusing when religious dogmas that are man made keep us numb and dumb to what is Truly is going on energetically.
Realising that we are all an essential part of the Universe is inspiring to take responsibility for living all that we are.
Living who we are in truth, ‘I am a Son of God. Divine and amazing in essence – we all equally are. And my purpose is to be a reflection of love to other people.’
“Today I could feel the pain of having not reflected my truth to other people: this hurts deeply in my body.” I agree Janina, this was a stand out line reminding me to appreciate what I can offer to others by way of a soulful, loving reflection, and the value in that knowing what it has meant to me from others.
Yes, we are never not reflecting so if I’m in a bad mood I have a responsibility to look at what’s going on and bring an understanding for myself that heals so I can return to being a beacon of truth. There is great pain knowing who I am and not living this – as there is with everyone whether people are aware of this or not.
Knowing this brings a deeper sense of responsibility – knowing that we are always reflecting out to others – just from being ourselves. What do we choose to reflect today?
A responsibility to live who we are in truth, our essence, our amazing self, ‘that we are all love and that it is about being me.’
‘I now see that this is the way I had chosen to live for so many lifetimes.’ There are some things I know I do and struggle to move away from. Many of them feel very, very familiar and rather than give myself a hard time for not instantly walking away from unloving choices, I can acknowledge they are very old and appreciate every choice that is made with love,
We initiate ourselves into and out of who we naturally are, but regardless of how we choose to lead our lives the natural impulse and the fact that we are undoubtedly from divine design can not be altered.