My Connection to God and Finding Real Religion

I read a blog recently about some of the beliefs we are raised with around God and the link between depression and feeling worthless, and it made me consider my own experience growing up.

For me, the God I grew up with was either mean and punishing or worse, powerless and non-existent. Both my parents were brought up by practising Catholics and also Lutherans, and in my family there was either no God, or for some family members if there was, he was to blame for all the woes they believed that beset them.

I looked out as a teenager at the suffering and emptiness around me and thought, maybe they were right. Or, if they weren’t, I didn’t feel I had access to God or love.

After reading this particular blog I am now pondering upon a definite correlation between depression and one’s relationship with God that I had never considered before. It’s so obvious though! When I was 11 or 12, I was depressed: I remember being at school and thinking none of life makes sense, what is the point or purpose of it all? We’re learning all this stuff but what for? A good job… so what?

I tried talking to my family and one said she felt exactly the same and just wrote it off as the winter blues. I knew then that my primary caretakers – the ones I had thought knew all the answers – had no answers. To avoid the deep despair that I felt, I turned deeper into a life-long affair with food, accumulating other outside distractions as I grew up.

All the time I was looking for real religion and looking for God despite saying I didn’t believe there was a God.

My attempts at avoiding what I felt to be the devastating possibility that the world was only what I could see and that there was no God or love, took me further from feeling love and God. As a result I abused my body for a long time.

The presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon supported me to question my belief that God was a separate entity outside of myself. The way Serge spoke of God, to me, and his obvious direct relationship with God, inspired me to open myself up to the possibility that I too could have a direct relationship with God. I began to feel the truth of what I had heard Serge Benhayon present many times: that when we are fully present in our bodies we are connected to ourselves and to God.

I felt the joy of this for myself. I could feel I was a part of God and I realised that to stay connected to God is to stay connected with my body. As a result I am now beginning to feel that God is in fact within us all – all of the time – and that we are all equal. I never stopped to feel this in the past, or if I did I ignored it.

I am beginning to appreciate the truth of what it means to  know and trust my true, innermost feelings and that these do not lie to me – it is only my thoughts and emotions that can lie.

What I am also appreciating is the fact that the only way to know God is to claim who I am (and who we all naturally are) to be one with Him.

This means that any doubt that I am a Son of God or thinking I am not worthy, hampers if not prevents my connection to God. I am realising that many religions are based on God being not part of us and so, in effect, they prevent people from knowing God. For me, I am now learning the meaning of true and real religion and in this, that God is not separate from me, and in this, that there is always a connection, and it is only I who separate from this connection when I am not claiming who I truly am.

By Karin Barea, Age 42, Cleaner, Somerset, UK

This blog originated as a comment inspired by the blog:
Depression, Worthlessness & the Truth about God 

696 thoughts on “My Connection to God and Finding Real Religion

  1. Where do we get the idea that God is outside ourselves? It has to come from what is presented to us, that life is just what we see, as it is not the natural feeling we have as little kids. Once you come back to the knowing of God through your body, it’s hard to imagine you fell for the belief that he is outside you and inaccessible.

  2. I too grew up thinking God was separate, it was ‘him’ and ‘me’ and only worthy to those who attended the temple or church. And yet as you truely expressed, there is no separatism, we are parts of God and together we form the wholesome and its when we allow the thought and emotions to lie to us that this feeling of distance is between us, temporarily.

    When I am me, I am the Son of God and then this Son of God is the beacon for others to be the Son of God.

    1. Yes true, and yet we do know what it is to live at one with God and our Godliness as we were born knowing and expressing this divinity from our first breath. When we return to our innate way of beingness, reclaiming our Godliness we then, as you say are a ‘beacon for others to be the Son of God’ to reclaim living the Godliness we all are born to live.

  3. One thing I am aware of since I have brought God back into my daily life, is that if I am feeling any form of sadness like depression trying to move its way in, I know I have once again stepped away from God.

  4. “I could feel I was a part of God and I realised that to stay connected to God is to stay connected with my body.” A beautiful realisation that God and the Divine Love that He is embraces us and flows through us at every moment.

  5. How many of us get distracted by, and confused by the mixed messages religions gives us about “God” and who we are. So how we relate to “God and the link between depression and feeling worthless, and it made me consider my own experience growing up,” so that what role does our own self-worth play? Could it be our spirit keeps us all on a tread-mill taking to a perceived goal that takes us no-where and this effects everyone rich and poor? What you have shared Karin is great and we can all learn from your sentence! – as this is True for all of us!! “For me, I am now learning the meaning of true and real religion and in this, that God is not separate from me, and in this, that there is always a connection, and it is only I who separate from this connection when I am not claiming who I truly am.”

  6. God lives within by the light of the Soul, this says it all, and it is for all to experience, as they did once a long time ago.

  7. To stop looking for God outside of myself but instead within myself as presented The Way of The Livingness has been life changing, enriching and fulfilling.

  8. Thank you Karin. I’m inspired each day how my life becomes simpler the more I trust in my connection and alignment to my true impulse and grace and how I feel within, compared to what is going on around me. The more I feel this the more I unravel my equalness and equanimity and understand my making, through my unique expression as the exact replica of the Son of God that I am.

  9. ‘I could feel I was a part of God and I realised that to stay connected to God is to stay connected with my body’. This is a beautiful line showing that God resides within, to connect to this truth is to connect to our inner most and from there emanate all that God is.

  10. It is beautiful to read of your connection to God now Karin, being part of a true religion has supported me as well to re-connect back to the truth of God and to feel the simplicity and joy flow through to all areas of my life, like you I also no longer feel the constant emptiness and separation from the time I turned my back on God.

  11. ‘I looked out as a teenager at the suffering and emptiness around me and thought, maybe they were right. Or, if they weren’t, I didn’t feel I had access to God or love’.
    To then feel that we can connect to God and not ever be separate from that divine essence is amazing turn around.
    ‘For me, I am now learning the meaning of true and real religion and in this, that God is not separate from me, and in this, that there is always a connection, and it is only I who separate from this connection when I am not claiming who I truly am.’
    So why are we empty? Is it to do with separation? Could it be when we separate or feel that are separate from God we feel empty?
    With this as a base understanding and as let’s say a truth, as is representative of those comments and this blog, then what is it that makes us feel empty? Then the real question becomes how do we hold onto a true relationship with God so we become a divine servant for truth? Could it be when we start to move in every way so we become a vessel that the Universe can express through? So if this is true then it is our dust or particles that are universal that belong to God that move in a way that is aligning to God so we can say we are Religious to the best of our ability. So this could be one of the reasons why we feel empty when our particles are not aligned to God.

  12. When we make a choice to live a life that is divinity-free, we deprive ourselves from what is and will be our only anchor to truth and beauty and hence we open the door fully to abuse and misery.

    1. Superbly expressed Eduardo and expresses clearly that abuse and misery we may experience is the consequence and therefore the result of our own choices.

  13. ” I could feel I was a part of God and I realised that to stay connected to God is to stay connected with my body. As a result I am now beginning to feel that God is in fact within us all – all of the time – and that we are all equal. In the Christian sense of understanding God, the opposite applies, where the body is tainted and sinful and has to be kept under control, which leads to the rejection of the body and the adoption of a religion that is mental and emotional taking oneself away from God within to a God outside of ourselves.

  14. This summary of your experience with what and who God is makes a huge amount of sense to me. I think that no matter how many times you hear something, if you have a strong underlying belief about God, its like you are tainted with what your mind lets you hear. Well, that is until someone comes along and explains it, as you have, in a way that bursts your bubble and helps you understand. My new found understanding is that our relationship with God only depends on how we move and live in the body we are in, so its commitment to self that finds us Godly. No wonder the barstardised version of godliness is constant charity and endless empty giving, its the opposite of what leads you to God.

  15. “The only way to know God is to claim who I am” – beautifully said, Karin. Many institutionalized religions talk about God but keep people away from God by setting themselves up as the expert that would stand in-between God and ordinary people.

  16. ‘So true- it is only I that separates from this’.
    I grew up in a religion that actually made me second guess the connection I felt to God and I took this on from a lack of self worth- thinking who am I to think that I can have a connection to God as I am so far down the pecking order. In truth there is no pecking order- we all have this.

  17. False images of God and religion, feeding a life that we know it cannot be true, cannot but have harming consequences. The relationship we establish with life and with ourselves suffers from this.

  18. Sometimes it astounds me how many people blame God for the fall out of their own choices and their necessary learning’s in life.

  19. This line really interested me “I looked out as a teenager at the suffering and emptiness around me and thought, maybe they were right.” I’ve had this experience so many times when I’ve known there was more to life or more to us but thought maybe I was wrong and everyone else was right. Like you say – if you look out life often doesn’t make sense, but if you look inwards and trust what you know life makes perfect sense.

  20. “I am beginning to appreciate the truth of what it means to know and trust my true, innermost feelings and that these do not lie to me – it is only my thoughts and emotions that can lie.” This line was important for me to read this morning, as sometimes i am caught by my thoughts and I cannot recognize this as my way to avoid to connect deeper with that love and stillness that lives within and instead create havoc in my body with allowing in wayward thoughts.

  21. It’s been my experience also that when god has been presented it/he has been presented as something outside of who we are – someone to look up to, obey and do no wrong by. So naturally, as a human being living with feet firmly on the ground of this planet, it didn’t make any sense to me that I should worship something out there in the ether. My relationship with the notion of god has slowly (with some stubbornness), started to change as I accept that perhaps what I had previously been taught was completely false, and that perhaps I am part of the all more than I had originally imagined.

    1. The thing is that we are ALL an equal and magnificent part of the whole whether we accept it or not.

    1. Exactly Rachael, it is our reaction to that we deeply know is not true that makes us looking for ways to improve our lives. But until we connect with the essence in us that is our direct connection with God, we will only find solutions but will never go to the root of the ill we have chosen to live with.

  22. Thank you Karin for your gorgeous blog. God is within us all, so when we choose to abuse our body it is in effect our way of rejecting ourselves and God. Therefore when we choose to self-love, self-care and self-nurture we are choosing to reconnect to God through the divine particles in our body. When we understand how we can reconnect to God it is pretty much impossible to abuse our body as we can feel immense love throughout our entire body when we truly connect to God.

  23. As I read this blog I feel the responsibility to simply keep my thoughts and stay focused on my breath and reading otherwise I can get so easily distracted, which only disconnects me further from God. Thank you God, Serge Benhayon and Vicky for sharing how important it is to be responsible for everything I do, because I have found so much of what is so called life is simply a distraction from the truth about God.

  24. There is so much in this article and about how we are with ourselves which directly relates to how we are with God. For so long my focus was on what I was doing wrong and an attempt at perfectly doing everything right in the belief that this put me closer to God and yet I felt so so far away. This pushed me to work harder and seek more perfection in order to make it look like I was closer to God and yet I couldn’t feel him nor at one point did I even think he existed. Even though I didn’t think he existed it didn’t stop the push to be right and the avoidance of being wrong which doesn’t make sense as you would think that the moment you don’t believe in God you would also drop right and wrong. So there was something else going on and it wasn’t just about believing in God or not. It came down to this, “What I am also appreciating is the fact that the only way to know God is to claim who I am (and who we all naturally are) to be one with Him.” The part, the whole, the emptiness was the fact that I didn’t know myself, I was walking further and further away from who I felt deeply I already was. God and I are one, I/we are made in his essence and so to be with him is to truly be with me, so simple and so freeing.

  25. To not feel the presence of God deeply hurts so it is no wonder that we become depressed. Learning to check in with my body during the day by feeling it and where I am at is supporting me to be present with my body and therefore to God. It is a commitment and responsibility not just to myself but to everyone and everything.

    1. To me feeling depressed is feeling lonely, rejected, misunderstood, lack of purpose, unloved and unworthy. When we truly understand our relationship with God, we know without a doubt He is always with us, so we never feel alone but constantly held in absolute love. We then have a sense of purpose to express God’s love through our everyday expression and know that we are all equally divine and precious.

  26. I am reading a lot about religion lately and it’s all coming back to me, to us. In other words I remember growing up and having the internal struggle with what I was feeling and what was being told to me. I started to question but this gave me more questions and also gave me the feeling of being silly or a loner. I didn’t like this and didn’t want to be on my own so I pushed ahead and still didn’t accept what I was being told but created another identity that gave the appearance I was a good person. Using this persona I was able to keep people onside without having to actually let them fully know who or how I was. Inside myself I wasn’t happy and there was an internal struggle because while I could see everything that was going on I couldn’t catch or touch it. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine supported me to clear my past so I could see what I was already feeling but couldn’t touch. The moment I got to touch on this was the moment of awareness of how things had been. More and more I am seeing the game that is played on us. What is allowed to run because of how we live can be confronting. I use to think the world was a bad place and that somehow I had to make it better, where now I can see the world is a big mirror, reflecting what we are choosing the way we are moving in each moment. As they say if you don’t like the reflection then change the quality you are looking into it with.

  27. When I was younger I felt God had deserted me, that God didn’t even exist, and now through connecting more to my body, my connection to God does exist and the more I realise now that God was always with me, I had chosen not to maintain my connection with myself which meant for me at the time God had abandoned me, how wrong I was.

  28. “To avoid the deep despair that I felt, I turned deeper into a life-long affair with food, accumulating other outside distractions as I grew up.” This is actually quite insightful what you are saying here as it shows that we are craving a deep relationship with ourselves, knowing ourselves in full and living it and if we do not do this we turn to other things we can have a close relationship with, only that all other relationships, as dedicated and committed we might be, will never fill the intimate and deep relationship we crave with ourselves/God to then bring this naturally out to the world in everything we do.

  29. Human beings have tried for a long time to humanise God and relating to Him from there. What human beings have not done (massively at least) is to delve into the divine that is inside and treat each other as what we are, Gods.

    1. So spot on. We try to integrate God into our human life instead of accepting our divine origins. Which makes sense: we are sons of God, thus we are godly and not God human.

  30. Our connection with God is first and foremost via our connection with our body, I am not aware of any institutional religion which shares this vital fact. I first became aware of this through attending presentations offered by Serge Benhayon, and feel very strongly that it is something which needs to be shared with children from a young age, as this would allow them to know the truth about God and where they come from.

  31. How dis-empowering it is to think that God is to blame for all our woes and also a good excuse to ignore and not look at the way we are living our life – the choices that WE make! This is not to say we should then bash ourselves for any choices we see that weren’t loving or were harmful but use that clarity to simply make different choices moving forwards.

  32. ‘What I am also appreciating is the fact that the only way to know God is to claim who I am (and who we all naturally are) to be one with Him.’ Beautifully said and very true Karin, claiming and living the truth that we are all the Sons of God is a powerful choice that inspires and awakens others to know this equally as well.

  33. It is one of the gravest evils in this world is that we are taught from a young age that God is separate from us, and that our union with Him can only come through our death if what we ‘do’ is ‘good’ whilst alive. Yet in truth our relationship with God is ever-present for we are in fact the Sons of God and as such who we are within naturally is Divine. When we embrace a loving relationship with our bodies we deepen our connection to our Soul, through which our union with God and our Godliness is known.

  34. “This means that any doubt that I am a Son of God or thinking I am not worthy, hampers if not prevents my connection to God.” Absolutely!

  35. The truth about God is indeed so simple, that is mind-blowing and intriguing why this truth is not known by everybody and not taught not in only in religions – who are supposed to know God – but also in our education system. To know God is to be in the body, our bodies are the connection to God. Simple.

  36. Thank you Karin for a great sharing one I could relate to, especially these words “I am beginning to appreciate the truth of what it means to know and trust my true, innermost feelings and that these do not lie to me – it is only my thoughts and emotions that can lie.” From a young age I was told “feelings are not to be trusted” which resulted in a life long shut down of what I was feeling and living from my thoughts and emotions. Thank God for the truth that The Way of The Livingness brings, that God’s love lives within and as I connect to the feelings of my inner heart I know me as his child and he as my Father.

  37. As I read this blog again I am left wondering just how many people are depressed in this world. According to the World Health Organisation there are an estimated 350 million people worldwide suffering with Depression. But what about those very many people who live lives in states that we label the ‘winter blues and the like – and who ‘self-medicate’ with alcohol, food, over the counter tablets or distract themselves in other ways? Something is not right here. Surely our lives are not really about getting through the days staving off the greyness. Like Karin, I have come to know that there is a direct relationship with God we can all equally have when we reconnect with the innate wisdom of our bodies and this feels like a true homecoming to me, more so than anything I ever learned in a church. The Way of The Livingness is to me, the real deal where religion is concerned. It is that connection to God within – via a ‘direct line’, not via any intermediary source. As we have been told by many wise teachers, ‘The Kingdom of God is Within You’.

  38. So why is it that we choose purposely and make presence and connection to ourselves so difficult and challenging when in truth it is simple? We are so much grander than what we are being told. I have recently become aware of the power of my voice when I speak up and do not hold back. It is this power that I have been afraid of for most of my life, afraid of the reactions my voice would cause in others but lovingly speaking up supports me to remain in the connection to myself otherwise I contract and the connection is lost.

  39. Beautifully expressed Karin, feeling what it means to breathe the breath of God has been life changing for me. When we fill ourselves with thy fathers breath we leave no room for untrue emotions or images to enter.

  40. ” The way Serge spoke of God, to me, and his obvious direct relationship with God, inspired me to open myself up to the possibility that I too could have a direct relationship with God. I began to feel the truth of what I had heard Serge Benhayon present many times: that when we are fully present in our bodies we are connected to ourselves and to God.” Love this Karin. Taking responsibility for our relationships with everyone – including God – is so empowering.

  41. God has given us free will. He cannot force us not to use it. On the other hand, there is no reason why he would change a path set by someone that needs something to happen to him/her. God can’t never be blamed for what happens to us. We are responsible.

    1. I agree Eduardo, there is so much in life we need to experience to support our growth and it is because of the utmost love God has for us that we are offered exactly what we need to help us on our way because of the choices we have made.

  42. How far have we walked away from who we truly are, such so that we are now fighting one another because of our religious beliefs about who owns the true god, the power to rule all. This is all because of us not acknowledging that God is simply living within each and everyone of us. We are equal sons of God and when we allow that reality into our lives, all wars will cease and true harmony and brotherhood shall be restored on earth.

  43. So simply put Karin, we miss the connection to God, without it we are full of distractions that have no Soul and empty de-pressed feelings fill the void, thus depression.

    1. So true Merrillee, in our disconnection to our Soul we are lost and empty and invite all sorts of emotions to fill the space.

  44. I am starting to feel what I have been missing all my life and I realize that It had not been missing, I just did not know I had it all the time. The concept that God is inside me was hard to understand, because I had to feel it not understand it. Thank you Simple-Living Global and Universal Medicine for presenting so many things that have explained so many mysteries in my life.

  45. What an article, I loved reading this and feeling the depth of connection to God you are living in and with Karin. I wonder if we were to really consider every part of our lives and that all of it is a reflection of our relationship and connection to God whether we would have to reconsider how we live life and make more focus on our connection to him first and foremost.

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