In my teens I started to acknowledge the feeling that what I am and what the world presents is more than just physical. This led to the exploration of mediumship and clairvoyance and hence began my journey on the ‘Spiritual New Age’ path which eventually led me to Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness where I finally became free of all the impositions of the Spiritual New Age.
Looking for the Answer – Reiki, Crystal Healing… but My Life was a Mess
I was very much drawn to complementary therapies and would always look out for homeopathic or natural remedies as opposed to seeking orthodox medicines.
In the search for the ‘one thing’ that was going to offer me what I was looking for (which at the time, I did not know exactly what it was) I stumbled across Reiki, and this seemed to make sense for a while.
I chose to be oblivious of the fact that the ‘Reiki Master’ I trained with had a drinking problem: even after seeing him drunk and feeling the intensity of the horrible energy that came from him, I chose to overlook this and still continued with the course as I saw it to be the route to my salvation. On the course I cried a lot and saw all of this emotion to be part of the salvation I sought.
Some people within the Reiki community began to introduce all kinds of variants to suit themselves. This did not sit well with me, so I went on to train as a crystal healing therapist where I would dowse healing sessions using a pendulum. This gave me a kind of comfort that all was well and that I had found the answer, although even then I still felt really uneasy.
I constantly felt nervous, having a permanent feeling of anxiety running through my body which no amount of crystals or guided meditation would shift. I would wake in the morning feeling anxiousness in my body and I would often feel depressed at the thought of getting through another day feeling this way. I carried this nervous feeling with me on a daily basis and although on the outside I would appear confident, there was an inner feeling of not being good enough and a lack of real confidence. I was always looking for someone else to give me the answer and for someone else’s approval for me to feel okay about myself.
By the time I reached my late 30’s I was a mess. I had left an unhappy marriage, my self-esteem was on the floor and my self-worth was non-existent. I was overweight, unhappy and felt alone whilst dipping in and out of a couple of relationships and struggling to make it through whilst bringing up a child that was by now approaching teenage years. My life had gone from bad to worse even after doing many more courses that were all supposed to offer ‘the answer’.
Time for change! I knew there had to be another way.
Introduced to Chris James, the Gentle Breath Meditation, and Connecting to Me…
A friend told me of a voice presentation in our local town with Chris James, a singer and musician who offers voice workshops through Sounds Wonderful. This was the best £10 I had ever spent as during that evening I was introduced to the Gentle Breath Meditation, a simple technique where you focus on your breath and make the choice to breath gently… no “wandering down wooded paths” or “into a mountain cave to meet an Indian guide or an angelic being”, just a simple focus on my own breath.
This is what I had been looking for!… It was the one thing that supported me to connect to me and it was as simple as connecting to my breath.
For the first time in my life I had a glimpse of feeling whole and complete without the underlying emptiness and anxiety that had kept me relentlessly searching.
Chris had learned the Gentle Breath Meditation from Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine, and when Chris mentioned him I immediately knew that I needed to know more about this man and his presentations, so I attended the next available course.
Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, Truth, Spirit & Soul – Search Over!
Following that course I read many books and went to many presentations by Serge Benhayon that unfolded all the answers that had previously eluded me. Never before had I been met with the truth about Spirit and Soul and that there are actually two types of energy, one being the fiery energy of the Soul and the other being the pranic energy of the Spirit with all its emotional baggage. Simple, yet profound. None of the ‘New Age’ study had offered this most fundamental of facts, but instead had wrapped Spirit and Soul into the same package as if to hide the fact of their difference.
In my arrogance as a ‘crystal healer’ I felt that I knew a lot about energy because I had worked with crystals and the use of the pendulum was based on the understanding that the pendulum was a visual indicator of my Soul’s communication. Well if I was really connected to my Soul, why would I need an outside indicator? Surely I could trust what I felt from the inside? So the pendulum had to go, along with all the crystals as I realised I had totally given myself away by investing all my power into them. I had missed the point completely and had actually disempowered myself by choosing to ignore the fact that all I required was inside of me.
Taking Responsibility for my Well-Being
The simplicity of the presentations by Universal Medicine and the practical common sense way of being they offered was profound.
The stage was now set for me to make some changes and start to take true responsibility for myself and my life. I stopped being a victim of my own choices and began to make choices that supported me and my well-being.
One of my first choices was to have a look at what I was eating. I stopped eating gluten and dairy and found that the sinus problem that had been hanging around for years cleared up and the bloated lethargy that was always there went away, leaving me with a feeling of vitality which in truth was already there but had been completely dulled by the food choices I was making. My body weight and shape changed. After being vegetarian for many years I started to eat a little meat and found it to be very acceptable to my body and I actually quite liked it. I had feared eating it for so many years because someone had once told me it would make me heavy and not able to connect to my Soul.
Looking back I am aware of the trap and total arrogance I had fallen into, along with a feeling that I was a better human being because I was part of the ‘Spiritual New Age’ bandwagon.
I now embrace the support of orthodox medicine as part of the healing process and no longer resist it. I understand it does not have all the answers but choose to work alongside it whilst taking the personal responsibility to look more deeply into the root cause of any disturbance that may arise.
I am now part of the student body of Universal Medicine and I endeavour to live the simplicity of the Ageless Wisdom Teachings, which makes a lot more sense compared to anything else I have come across in my relentless search for truth. I have found The Way of the Livingness.
The search is over – This is IT.
By Beverley Bulmer, Norfolk, Uk