From Self-development to Unfolding into my True Self – Inspired by Serge Benhayon

My first self-help book was titled ‘Feel the Fear and do it Anyway’ and it was the start of a path of self-development in trying to be a better person. I was not in any particular state of turmoil at the time I purchased the book, but I did not like how I felt about myself or about where I was at in life. So I found this book and hoped it would show me how I was meant to be so that I could feel better.

This was the first of many self-help and religious books. It was my launching pad into new-age courses, tarot reading, reiki, yoga, Buddhism, Dao, meditation, university studies and anything else I could find that would help me develop myself into the person I wanted to be. The problem was, I couldn’t decide what or whom I wanted to be like!

There was the hippy phase, the professional woman, the beach/surfie look, party girl, the blokey don’t-touch-me image, I am a mother, yoga girl, ‘partner of ______’ and other identities that I think I’ll deny. Some would call this an identity crisis, but what I discovered was that it was so much more than that.

The phase would fit with whatever image I wanted to portray – whether it be rebellious, cool, tough, controlled, glamorous, powerful, intelligent, easy going, nurturing, bad-girl, homemaker, carefree – all in an effort to find the best image that would move me closer to feeling better about myself and OK in life. But I didn’t feel OK; in fact, life became more dysfunctional.

Whilst there is a touch of playfulness in what I have written so far, and I can now even smile to myself, in truth what lay beneath was a deep-seated self-loathing program. I was so incredibly lost in life, so desperate to find a place where I felt that I fitted in, where my relationships were loving, where the workplace was harmonious, where I could feel love and stillness in my body instead of continual anxiety, and where there was no longer abuse in my life.

After about 20 years living so very lost like this, I came to a Universal Medicine presentation and did so thinking it would be another thing to try. What I heard was that it was about ‘being myself’. But gosh, who was I?

Serge Benhayon introduced the path of unfolding into who you truly are – a return to love, and this was a far cry from those years of striving to develop myself into something else, some ideal of what I should be like.

What inspired me about this teaching was the notion that we are already everything, and that all we had to do was to make life about returning to the love that we already are and be ourselves… simple in essence but maybe a bit tricky in practice.

I had become so lost in my sadness and despair, and my life was in such an emotional state, that being love and being myself was often a difficult task. During this period my head was filled with all I had learned from text-books and self-development courses which ingrained even more ideals and beliefs into my life and kept me stuck in my head and not feeling my body. In fact, I was numb to my body and did not like to feel it at all, for my body held the truth of the choices that I had made that were not from love.

For me then, the first few years was about calming the momentum of the emotional tornado that I had created by bringing gentleness into my life and my body – making self-care and love my new marker.

Along the way I noticed that snippets of life were themed to where I was at in my unfolding path. Life would show me truths about control, love, anxiety, frustration, holding back, vulnerability, acceptance, hurt, control, joy – whatever it was that I needed to feel and understand at the time.

Living like this, observing what life was showing me next, and travelling down the unfolding path, has allowed me to feel how beautiful my life has become. Life is not about achievement or driving myself to fulfill a particular goal or about gaining an identity, nor does it require the approval and acceptance of another.

It really does feel like a path that is gently moving any obstructions out of the way, each step bringing me closer to feeling more and being more of my amazing self.

Being me, the true me, brings love to all that I do in my day; it honours me and it honours others. There is a flow, a rhythm, steadiness, commitment, playfulness, responsibility, delicateness, an innate knowing of what is needed next, and there is joy and vitality too.

Facing the reality of my choices along this unfolding path has certainly brought moments of sadness to the surface, but these moments are insignificant compared to the joy that I now feel in myself, and the love of others that I feel in my heart. I no longer embrace the notion that I need to develop into something to feel better about myself, but what I do know is that each day offers me a chance to live more of my true self and to love even more than I did yesterday.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and the commitment and love he emanates to us all.

by Maree Savins, Engineering Project Officer, Tertiary Education, Australia

Further Reading:
Personal Development
Women in Livingness
Loving Myself and My Choices

1,060 thoughts on “From Self-development to Unfolding into my True Self – Inspired by Serge Benhayon

  1. How many places in the world ask us to …. just be ourselves? That we don’t have to try, do anything, be anyone, fit in all we need to be, is us and in doing that we are everything? Currently not many! I can really relate to the phases in your life you were talking about and reading so many self-help books looking for the answer ‘out there’ so I could feel better within. When I first encountered Universal Medicine that was honestly when true healing started to take place. I heard the words STOP. Just stop! So simple. Stop and feel what is really going on in my body. Ironic really that all the books and courses I had done up to that point I was looking for this but not one of them said it. Second step … choices, start to take responsibility for the choices I had made in life and then most importantly being able to truly understand energy. No wondering, holding the finger to the wind, guessing, searching, but really really knowing and of course with Universal Medicine, you get the absolute truth therefore within that instead of searching for the answers everything is known and the true learning can begin.

  2. It’s true for me too Maree that breaking down the false identities to allow the true self through “brought moments of sadness to the surface, but these moments are insignificant compared to the joy that I now feel in myself, and the love of others that I feel in my heart.” I am learning that the key is to trust the self to be able to resource what’s needed to deal with the hurts, as opposed to prolonging the pain by not dealing with them. On the other side is the return to greater love.

  3. No one has ever said to me you are enough just as you are, and we could say that our current way of living is totally the opposite of this. I’m discovering that the more I allow myself to just be with no picture or idea of what that should look like, the more I am shown just how corrupt and lied to we have all been.

  4. Not needing to strive to be something or someone and instead to focus on ‘unfolding’ the essence one truly is is the opposite to that which is the norm of society. In doing so it is true liberation.

  5. Our life purpose really is “gently moving any obstructions out of the way, each step bringing me (US) closer to feeling more and being more of my (OUR) amazing self (SELVES)”.

  6. I have never been really interested in self-help books or new age meditations and techniques. All of that felt void and with a lack of consistency to me. However, there was a time in which I really needed help for the lack of vitality, insomnia and anxiety that I was experiencing. Coming across Universal Medicine was like a coming back home, to feel myself again and to take responsibility for the choices I was taking. I realized the huge relation between not loving myself and the abuse that I was allowing into my life, like to please others to be liked, trying to fit in, being criticized for the way I looked…and so on. Knowing Serge Benhayon and his family brings me a new reflection about how loving we can be with ourselves and others. I appreciate the solid foundation that I can feel in my life now by choosing what feels right for me. At this point in time I know that nothing outside can provide a miracle or make me a ‘better’ person because I’m the only one who can guide and choose how to live, moment by moment.

  7. ‘gently moving any obstructions out of the way’ This is a very beautiful way to approach life Maree. Instead of fighting against and criticizing what we are feeling we can bring a loving awareness to all that our body is experiencing in each moment and choosing consequently the next steps. There is so much love for us when we are open to it.

  8. I also read some of ‘Feel the fear and do it any way’ which didn’t completely work for me either. But what I can appreciate now is that unless you acknowledge the root cause of that fear it will always shadow you.

    1. Yes, it is quite remarkable to realise that, and having that connection is so much more than climbing any mountain and it is a constant, unlike the fleeting moment of a mountain climbed.

  9. “It really does feel like a path that is gently moving any obstructions out of the way, each step bringing me closer to feeling more and being more of my amazing self.” I know this to be true as well from my experience, and sometimes I fight the path and other times I surrender to the path. When I surrender life is much more full, engaged and amazing, and when I fight it, it is much more tense and rigid and dull.

  10. It is great that you mention the sadness that can be felt when you look back at your past choices, and how this can be a difficult time. I often find that a lot of effort and a great deal of energy can be given to avoiding feeling just that – the sadness. Which is why I firmly hold true that feeling supported and loved is so important for everyone everywhere, because then the sadness is not so scary and then there is more potential to simply just let it go.

  11. The self development programmes I’ve participated in or facilitated had one common theme, the premise we are already flawed. Fixes offered were restricted to things we could do for ourselves to be more confident or complete – be more assertive for example or using affirmations. Refreshing to know we are “already everything,” no fixes required, only a return to our true essence which we all innately hold within.

  12. ‘Calming the momentum of the emotional tornado’ we have created by how we have lived in the past is the challenge for us all Maree.

  13. It’s super interesting that most self help books and modalities are about becoming the person you want to be – rather than unfolding the person you already are. It seems to me that if you strive to be different or better than who you naturally are you are set up from the get go to fail.

  14. I love how Universal Medicine doesn’t give us another image to pin up and aspire to or try to mould ourselves into but instead supports people to re-connect back with a sense of quality from within that we can recognise as true to who we are in essence and then unfold this quality back into our daily life and expression.

    1. I agree Fiona – it’s a completely different way of initiating change if you start from the point that you already have everything and it just needs to be rediscovered.

  15. Very beautiful, Maree. Nothing needs to be developed, but everything to unfold. To be truly reunited with the truth that we are already, everything changes everything about life.

  16. The self-help industry is designed to make us try and strive to be a better and improved version of ourselves, instead of self-acceptance and appreciation, and an understanding that we are already enough. No trying is needed – simply a letting go of everything we’ve put in the way of allowing that inner essence out.

    1. Self-improvement industry thrives on people being discontent, so of course they would not want us to be truly content.

  17. ” but what I do know is that each day offers me a chance to live more of my true self and to love even more than I did yesterday.” our path back to bringing more of our true self unfolds each morning as we awaken each day, offering to us a greater expansion and emanation of the divine love that lives within.

  18. There are so many self-help books out there that basically amount to nothing for without truly connecting to ourselves first, and moving from this connection, we are stuck in the reality that is being fed to us; and bettering this reality will simply keep us stuck for longer and this is what most of these books are offering.

  19. I can relate to your journey with self-help books Maree, as I also read nearly every book that was released and never felt any better about myself and life. In fact it was more confusing to be filling my head with a lot of mumbo-jumbo that kept me further away from myself and in constant searching for truth. Thank God for me meeting Serge Benhayon and feeling the truth and beginning the journey back to reclaiming myself and who I truly was.

  20. We make the decisions we make at the time we make them and bringing understanding to those decisions helps to let them go if they are not ones we would repeat. It is far more loving to bring understanding than to carry around the burden of regret and recrimination.

  21. It can take us a long time to realise that having anything less than love, pure love not the emotional kind, is abuse. We use this word for much more serious things but when we stop to really consider it is obvious that the more serious things come from a lack of love in the first place. Becoming more deeply honest here we can see that we actually know what pure love is and can be it, in fact, we are it, under all those layers that have built up over the years. Being around people who have already connected to the love that they are supports us to do the same and appreciate what that is and can bring to our lives. The presentations and courses with Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and other members of his family as well as being with the many practitioners of The Way of The Livingness support us to reconnect and live in the pure love that we forget that we are.

  22. We turn to self-development books when we know there is more to life, yet haven’t fathomed that it is the inner connection to our heart that brings simplicity and great wisdom.

  23. We are so lost when we keep trying to reinvent ourselves in order to be content and happy, as it does not bring us closer to living who we truly are, it just changes the outward package and costume.

  24. When I first encountered Universal Medicine and heard all this stuff about connecting to yourself, and being yourself, I thought ‘I AM myself’ – i was a little put out, thinking I had no issues and nothing to heal. But there was this underlying anxiety in my life that I thought I’d done a great job of managing and keeping at bay by a relentless programme of activities – and an endless search for the next fun thing to do. What has unfolded has been the beginning of quite a slow and simple yet profound transformation – one where I have discovered that so many of my behaviours and patterns weren’t me at all, but me trying to fit in and be accepted, and one where I now value myself, my qualities and who I am more greatly than ever before.

  25. It is interesting how we are all taught from young to look outside to be successful, to strive to be better and that in order to achieve anything worthwhile we have to push ourselves hard. I also fell for this belief and put my body through a huge amount of disregard, overriding what my body was telling me when it was hurting or struggling to keep up with the pace I had set myself in my focus and determination to change myself physically, mentally and spiritually. All that changed when I met Serge Benhayon and felt the simple truth of his words deeply within my body that absolutely made sense and inspired me to start connecting to the truth within myself to who I really am and choose to bring that into my every day expression, understanding that it is not what we need to take on to find our true selves, but what we need to discard and let go of that naturally allows our true selves to blossom.

    1. We are made of and from Love. To consider the enormity of that brings a greater willingness to allow ourselves to surrender to be held by that Love. To discard and re-connect as you so beautifully share.

  26. Isn’t it crazy how we are already everything and that everything is unfathomably awesome and ever expanding, and yet we dedicate so much energy to trying to be a micro miniscule massively lesser version of something else that we can never be.

  27. The culture of “being the best version of yourself” is taking over social media, influential people are constantly drumming about self-improvement and motivation, yet there is not an announce of love in those words. Not for themselves, not for their social media followers, not for anybody.

  28. Although certain images may get us the attention or recognition we think we seek, they can only make our life ‘better’. None of these roles or images comes close to the knowing you have come home when you return to your essence and simply being you. There is no seeking, no betterment here as it is complete and whole already.

  29. Thank you for walking us through the steps along the path back to ourselves – not to anyone else or to an ‘out of reach’ nirvana, but to the divine being inside us that goes with us everywhere we go. A far cry from “in truth what lay beneath was a deep-seated self-loathing program” that comes with the trying to fit into someone else’s version of us that we work so hard at to be accepted.

    1. Its a horrible discovery… thinking you are walking the path back home, only to find that it is wayward and leading further and further away towards other people’s ideals of what should and should not be. We know the truth for ourselves, we simply need to feel this and declutter anything that might be in the way.

      1. Yes and this is painful! Not only the turning round, coming back and starting afresh, but the ‘stinking thinking’ that goes with the self-recriminations for being such a blind-faithed-ass in the first place!!! Considering the reasons why we have done or needed something or someone, is a far more tender approach and outcome, which means the judgment is seen for what it is and shown the door. Big up for decluttering!

  30. We try so hard to get somewhere and to look a certain way that we miss out on the most basic fact that there is nothing wrong with us, we don’t have to get anywhere and we have everything we need already without trying.

  31. “… in truth what lay beneath was a deep-seated self-loathing program.” I had one of those running for years, life times. It has taken a while to unpick but with the loving wisdom and eternal support from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, it is falling away to reveal a very precious being previously encased in many similar identities such as yours Maree. What an awesome God send Serge is and the depth of his living wisdom reminding us all that our true divinity and identity is simply a gentle breath away.

  32. Maree this brings back memories of the many self-help books I invested in thinking the same as you, this is the book that will do it, it will help me find that missing something in my life. And then to be disappointed that it didn’t have the answer I was searching for or the fact that it would gather dust in my book shelf thinking I will read it one day when I have time.

    Universal Medicine has made a huge difference to my life and it continues to refine the many things I never was, pretending to be something when I wasn’t, wanting to be noticed and from time to time I catch myself doing it or falling into old patterns that were never mine on the first place.

    What I’m loving is I’m discovering myself for who I truely am and I cannot thank Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon enough for bringing this to me and many others.

  33. ‘Life is not about achievement or driving myself to fulfill a particular goal or about gaining an identity, nor does it require the approval and acceptance of another.’ This is a very big statement as most of the world is caught up in all of that even if they pretend they are not. We can fool ourselves for so long but there comes a time when we not only wakeup but we have the heart to make changes. These can only come from us but the support available from Universal Medicine practitioners can be invaluable if we are humble and wise enough to take it.

  34. How many of us start this path with a slight itch that something is not quite right, only to discover as we wander down the path of self understanding to realise how far removed we are form who we naturally are? At that point the search for something true becomes paramount and thank God for Universal Medicine in making that available for us, making it relevant, and then having it consistently on offer.

    1. Yes, it does make me smile or cringe actually, when I remember the ‘slight itch’ and then when I scratched I found a whole other world opened up to feeling the momentum of the ’emotional tornado’ I had taken as my normal. eeek.

  35. “Serge Benhayon introduced the path of unfolding into who you truly are – a return to love, and this was a far cry from those years of striving to develop myself into something else, some ideal of what I should be like.” – This is a major paradigm shift – to recognise we are already complete in our essence and that our evolution is about Returning to our expression of that essence. Sometimes it’s easier to start with recognising what we know isn’t true to who we are and with that can start to let go of any pictures or ideals we realise we’ve attached to about how we think we should be, returning instead to the innate knowing or sense of our true expression.

  36. I love this line: “what I do know is that each day offers me a chance to live more of my true self and to love even more than I did yesterday.” What an amazing reminder of how golden every day is if we take the opportunity to grow more, learn more and love more than we did yesterday.

  37. It is such a different approach to life to come from what we feel instead of what we think we need to do and work with and uncover oneself.

  38. It is sad how we spend so much of our time and effort trying to live up to an image, all in the vain hope that someone or people will find us acceptable. When all along we have a perfectly acceptable self already just waiting to be given the opportunity to everything without trying.

  39. “Serge Benhayon introduced the path of unfolding into who you truly are – a return to love,” The book we all have within us when we learn to read truth.

  40. I read that book ‘Feel the Fear and do it Anyway’ too. My taking that on caused a lot of unnecessary nervous tension in my body as I did things I would never do if I had felt what was true for me! Haha what a nightmare that was!

  41. It has felt like a never-ending battle to know who I am and what I feel compared to the awkwardness of fighting this in an image or trying to live up to an ideal and something I am not. It is always there. The next step I have needed to take is to accept as this is the way it is around me and where I am at as my awareness expands again. There is and a more in-depth dimensions to what my physical senses are reading. The unfolding path is ‘just’ this and has been since I was inaugurated back to the Ageless Wisdom through Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness – to discover I am more, more through energetic awareness.

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