The Grandness of our own Love

There is a driving force in human beings to be seen as more special, more powerful, more successful, more famous, more popular, and more amazing than another. We want to stand out just a little more, be seen as a little better, recognised for this little extra that makes us different, unique and individual. It is a ride on the merry-go-round of disharmony, never providing the inner fulfillment so desperately sought and such a distraction from the grandness of our own love.

This desire for recognition almost has a momentum of its own, popping up in insidious ways. We can fool ourselves and think thoughts that “I don’t do that”, but with closer observation it is possible that we will find it there, playing out in our lives.

There is so much in our world where we can see this need to be recognised, the need to be an individual, not always in what we do but how we are about what we do. The vocally active mum who may boast about all her volunteer work at the school, the manager with a determined drive to turn the company around, the employee who works long hours to show how hard they work, the man who talks about his achievements, the child that brings out their awards to show visitors… the list is endless.

What can be felt here in all of this is a ‘trying to be something’ or a ‘trying to show something’. The need for an outcome can be felt, a demand for something that may not be directly asked. We need to ‘try’ because it isn’t natural for us to do these things.

If we are not making ourselves bigger, there is another option to achieve the same result to make us stand out as being better and that is to make another smaller. Just recently I considered some of the behaviours that we use to bring another down, and felt deeply into the ‘Why?’ around violence.

I watched a documentary of the days of the Roman Empire. The torture that human beings could impose on another human being was horrifying. It became clear to me, that once we separate from another in our heart, we have started the beginning of a journey towards the most brutal and barbaric behavior.

In modern days, this violence still plays out. We can consider the atrocities of war but what about the arguments in relationships, the demise of marriages that end in bitter and loveless court disputes, domestic violence, sexual assault, assaults on the elderly, invasion of homes, murder of strangers and harm to children? The choice to act without love, to dominate over another, permeates our society.

Separating ourselves by hardening our hearts from just one person is really just the beginning. It can pervade into broader groups of people, as we have seen throughout history and even today. Wars are started between nations and institutionalised religions, with groups divided by sexuality, gender and race becoming the targets of hate campaigns for no reason other than the category in which they have been placed.

This brutality and heartlessness comes into existence when we separate from the Oneness, when we see our brothers as competitors or without worth, and not the love that they are.

We judge others harshly, we use comparison to squash, we become riddled with envy over what another may possess, and we are consumed with jealousy when another reflects to us more loving ways than what we have chosen for ourselves.

All of this can lead to an apparent outrage, for we each try so hard to get ahead and be better than another, desperate for the stage, the congratulations, the thank you, the attention, the story, the outcome and the reward.

While our attention is so astutely invested in our need for recognition, there is something far more powerful, so accessible, and much grander that awaits – that is, our own love.

It is our own love that we seek more than anything, but instead we resort to all the other in a futile attempt to feel OK in the world and have the attention we crave. Settling for a moment of mere OK, instead of a life of amazingness.

We hurt so very much when the world rejects our attempts to be the ‘most’ or to get the recognition we feel we deserve. And it is these hurts that can bury us even deeper into further reactions and behaviours that stem from our desire to be individual.

Although our need for recognition exists, we do know we are so much more.

  • We know that our own love is for all, not just for the one we marry.
  • We know our children don’t belong to us, and that we have been given the role as guardians to nurture them.
  • We know that the workplace will only prosper if there is love and brotherhood, and yet we set up and contribute to unhealthy workplace cultures, systems and play a part in conflict that ensures dysfunction.
  • We know our family is far wider than our biological family, and yet we ask them to be everything for us, with expectations that they may never be able to fulfill.
  • We know that violence is not acceptable, and yet we can use subtle and not-so-subtle ways to bully, dominate and hurt another.
  • We know we are equal and knowing about all things, but we can choose to overpower or disempower each other.

If our connection is truly from love, there is no way we could be hostile or harm another. Our bodies would be incapable of such senseless acts. Even if the thoughts came through our head, we would know where those thoughts came from and that they did not come from love.

It is our responsibility then to ensure that the way we live and the choices we make come from our own love, the love that is true and that we feel in our bodies, not the reinterpreted love that is not love at all, but one many of us continue to live by.

This love is not something anyone can give to us: we build and connect to our own love and shine it brightly as a gift to others.

By connecting to the love that we are, we will not need to try, we will not need what we think we need, we will not harm, we will not control or overpower but we will feel grand, we will feel inspired and we will know just how amazing and beautiful we all really are.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Maree Savins (Ass Deg Law; GradCert HROD), Project Support Officer, Tertiary Education, Australia

Further Reading:
Seeking Connection and True Relationships
The highest form of intelligence is love.
Opening up to People – Letting True Love Flow

897 thoughts on “The Grandness of our own Love

  1. The example of the barbaric and loveless (heart-less) behaviours of the Roman Empire bring it home how this behaviour is still repeating itself in various forms in life today.
    “It became clear to me, that once we separate from another in our heart, we have started the beginning of a journey towards the most brutal and barbaric behavior”.

  2. There is much to unravel in our lives, much we have accepted when we didn’t want to and much resentment in making these choices. Ultimately all of these feelings, though imposed on another, often, are very much a result of our own personal choices. Therefore the true unraveling to again be able to feel and live from our love, is an internal journey of understanding ourselves, our life, our circumstances and the reasons for making the choices we did, and with very humble acceptance, begin to make other choices.

  3. I read to where comparison and jealousy is discussed. Last night I had an amazing opportunity to feel how my body hardens in the company of another. Yet when by myself there is a very gentle tender flow. It is very easy to say we do not compare, it is another thing entirely to accept that there are aspects of comparison that have not yet been fully let go of. My humble learning is to not judge this within myself, but to tenderly, gracefully acknowledge when I feel it and let my body be. The acknowledgement, I know will pave the way for this aspect to be let go of truthfully, as a body response. Not a single word is needed.

  4. The loss of our connection to ourselves allows us to separate from our inner knowing and the wisdom of our body that knows the expression of love as our natural way of being.

  5. “If our connection is truly from love, there is no way we could be hostile or harm another” – there is such truth in this statement and this shows how far away we are from this truth. It is a question we should be asking on a daily basis – why are we hurting ourselves?

  6. I feel it is true, that there can be great and huge similarities between times past in human history and times now, with the wars and atrocities that are playing out. And so the question continues – have we really evolved, and do our fancy technologies really support us to be loving with each other?

  7. So many great points you have highlighted here Maree, we are only capable of being unloving with others and with ourselves when we have disconnected from our essence that naturally knows and expresses the love and truth we are.

  8. This sharing is offering us something important Maree ! That there I s nothing grander than our own love as you say. We need to open our hearts to humanity as a whole and not discriminate.

  9. If all our children were taught not to compete and compare, but treasure the grandness and uniqueness that they are, then there would be no space for war and conflict within ourselves or with each other.

  10. The moment you don´t see yourself as equal to God, you will measure everything around you. Filling the gap of this first diminishment makes for me perfect sense. From there on comparison and competition has its root and its existence build.

  11. Going for the comfortable way and demanding from the outside to fulfill our needs, will only change the scenery but never the truth. It will never settle you deeply in your body, even though it seems short terms, like as it is just a relief from a tension that is coming from not living the true you. The moment the first high moment is gone, you will look for the next and the next and the next.

  12. If we started from the place of knowing that everyone is deeply connected and the same inside-out, then the world would be a very different place. When I have been able to read the hurt motivating a person to feel angry or behave in a harming way with me or others, then I have been able to understand and feel the connection that we naturally have, rather than the separation. I am always being reminded that if I am to feel the grandness of the the love in another then I have to feel that same grandness of love in me, and if I am to understand people then I need to bring that understandin to myself first.

  13. There is enormous tension in living life seeking love in everything outside of us, when in fact we are the love that we are seeking. And hence all the loveless behaviours that ensue to cover up this tension of being love but choosing instead everything that isn’t love outside of us. It’s quite mind blowing and rediculous if you think about it. This blog was uncomfortable to read because of all the ways that we turn against each other to get recognition and to be seen as having that special edge on someone else. It definitely is an edge. It can be in very subtle ways and it is all in the name of feeling safe, feeling okay. The contrast between the crumbs of recognition that leave us feeling never good enough and the love that we share with everyone, is stark.

  14. Every time we do not love ourselves that is a drip-feed to unloving actions to others that eventually leads to violence.

  15. There is always an equal and opposite force, which we know is a law in science however don’t tend to apply to our daily lives. If we do not surrender to our own love we will seek to gain recognition etc., anything from the outside in an attempt to fill the now created void from within.

  16. “Separating ourselves by hardening our hearts from just one person is really just the beginning.” This is a great line because it shows how we can ignore subtleties, the small things, when they in fact lead to the brutalities. Subtleties and brutalities are on the same energy spectrum of separation, so we would be correct to feel as disturbed by a subtle step away from love.

  17. Once we separate from ourselves, from our body and being, we need something to fill the gap. Unfortunately, from there the void can be filled with all sorts of behaviours, actions, thoughts and intentions.

    1. We disconnect from the love that we are and indulge in stories, patterns and behaviours that are not us and life becomes a struggle, there is angst and no flow. Living from our body is so much simpler.

  18. As I begin to hold a greater love in my body the more unloving actions stand out. The sad thing is that these actions have become so normal that the finger is pointed at me when calling them out eg. I or another is too sensitive but I know and can feel in my body when another oversteps the mark wether it is towards me or another and this always needs to be addressed and called out regardless what another has up until that point got away with and thinks is the norm.

  19. All this and yet in our DNA it shows how we are all connected. And yet we do not feel this or hold this in our hearts. It is a shame that we have allowed the world to get into this state of separation – and you raise such an important point that is that we start to separate ourselves by being ‘different’ or ‘above’ others.

  20. Serge Benhayon often presents on the importance of dealing with our hurts, if we don’t it is much easier to live in separation and behave in a way that is very harming and damaging towards yourself and others.

  21. The driving force is not to be seen as more, but more ‘something’. It may sound similar but they are not. The second brings a relational aspect to it that the first one does not. More of something is always a wish to stand out, hence to be different from others. It is a drive to construct yourself as different. Being simply more, is a movement of accepting, allowing and surrendering to the fact that we are all more than what it appears to be and that more brings something unifying to the fore.

  22. This really puts things in perspective – shutting out only one person from our heart, is the beginning of the rot setting in of unloving and ill-behaviours, protectiveness and separation, strengthening the misuse of power of individuals with no concern of the bigger picture and true brotherhood..

    “The choice to act without love, to dominate over another, permeates our society.

    Separating ourselves by hardening our hearts from just one person is really just the beginning”.

  23. “It became clear to me, that once we separate from another in our heart, we have started the beginning of a journey towards the most brutal and barbaric behavior.” So in only a moment’s separation from our hearts, a micro-second of hardening against another, we are choosing to allow the most horrific and evil energy there is to pour through us and be confirmed and magnified even more. That’s pretty sobering.

  24. “The choice to act without love, to dominate over another, permeates our society” – this really stood out for me, and it started from the beginning of the Day when we chose separation. It feels like we have been grieving for far too long over this loss of our connection, and all this striving, trying to make ourselves more/make others less is an indulgence and now it is becoming rather tedious.

  25. Competitiveness is not our true nature, we get educated and taught to compete and then use it as a means to gain recognition and acceptance; and some take it as far as the top of Mt Everest.

  26. Actually in not living all of us and in that not fully appreciate and acknowledge who we are, we are at the mercy of any recognition or reward that comes from outside of us. This behaviour therefore is making us to try to be better or worse than others and in that we think we have an understanding of our place in society.

    1. It seems like a no-brainer but I still find myself caught in the desire for outer recognition. These days I don’t give myself a hard time about it. I see it as a dear friend giving me very loving feedback that I need to just keep focusing on my body, with all the love I am living. Then I stop looking outside.

  27. Sadly we have mistaken what we want the most- which is love for recognition, we strive and push through life in order to receive it from others until we understand that it is something that we need to connect to that already lives within us and it can only be achieved by the letting go of the trying and surrendering to grandness of our love.

  28. How deeply inspiring it is to see another live the love they are, in absolute brotherhood and equality with all life – this we can offer to ourselves and thereafter to all others.

  29. The moment we disconnect from ourselves we have closed our hearts to others and no longer are open to the wisdom that is forever offered to us in every moment. No disharmony whatsoever is the truth of who we are and yet this permeates society like a thick fog.

  30. All the striving you speak of hear Maree, to be seen, to be something or someone and yet we ignore what we are, and often don’t express the love we are, but rather strive to express what we think in love and demand that of all others … but love is in each and every one of us and it’s for use to connect to and live that initially with ourselves and then with all others.

    1. I love this expression Simon, that we have the universe inside our chest. When we stop for a second and actually feel what it feels like to be in our bodies and not our minds, by being totally present with our movements and in flow with what we’re doing, mind and body focusing on the same thing, there’s a flow and a joy that feels bigger than us, just like we’re in the universe, and it is within us.

  31. A beautifully powerful and inspiring blog to read Maree, thank you for expressing the divine truth of the grandness of the love we all truly are and the responsibility we all have to live from this love.

  32. We all love the idea that “war” is something that is going on out there, somewhere far away. That it has little to do with us and our 9 to 5, our daily grind. What you are proposing in this article is that we are all responsible for the mess we find ourselves in and unless we live a constant loving discipline and an open heart we are in fact perpetuating the global issues.

    1. Absolutely…and not only are we perpetuating the greater issues by living closed to others and in comparison, conflict and withdrawal – for many, we are in fact living this ‘war’ in our own homes, workplaces and communities on a micro basis, in varying degrees and ways.

  33. Seeing our brothers as competitors and not the love they truly are, is what is at the root of all evil that exists in our world today.

  34. Taking a ride on the ‘merry-go-round of disharmony’ is something I have frequently indulged in with my attempts to gain recognition instead of building a foundation of love within myself. Connecting to our own love dwarfs the need for recognition etc and takes the focus off what others can do for us. Treating myself lovingly makes it impossible to treat another in a loveless manner and the ripples of many individuals choosing this will build true brotherhood.

  35. Thank you for the inspiration to connect to the grandness of our own love and recognise the responsibility in this action as the alternative is the slippery slope to all the loveless behaviours that we currently see playing out around the world.

  36. Why do we choose recognition rather than the love we truly are? Is it not because we all have a deep unresolved hurt and are not supported to heal that but instead find something so as not feel pain – recognition? In steps Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom explaining why we do not connect with our essence of love and how to heal our hurts so that we are able to live that love through The Way of The Livingness.

  37. A beautiful blog to read Maree and a wonderful inspiration to live from our own love;
    “It is our responsibility then to ensure that the way we live and the choices we make come from our own love, the love that is true and that we feel in our bodies”.

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