1,014 thoughts on “Exposing Ideals and Beliefs: Discovering Deep Tenderness”

1. This is a belief that has been or can still be common in many of us, and really is very dishonouring of ourselves, ‘the belief that working hard and pushing my body was the only way to get things done.’

2. The honesty of our bodies is always there and it is up to each of us to learn how to not-deepen the way we numb our bodies and thus go into comparison and jealousy with others and what they are doing. Surrendering our bodies to True-healing allows us to appreciate every aspect of our essences and the ensuing connection we choose to stay in and can then also walk in, as you have shared Judy.

   1. Our bodies are very wise, and honest; if we love and cherish ourselves it makes sense to surrender to the wisdom our bodies share.

3. A healing session can really bring a change in our movements & what we register in our session. I remember feeling so open and free in my walk after a healing session with an esoteric practitioner a couple of years ago that I never wanted to go back to my previous walk because it felt so restrictive & closed down. These are sensations we can register in our bodies which are not learned through a book or listening to a presentation, sometimes it may be difficult to describe them with words, but the knowing in the body is certainly there & nothing can shake it.

4. Yes it re-defines success. Do I want to be hard and push through my body saying rest, sleep, eat, go to the loo in the name of advancing in life?! It doesn’t sound like much of an advance but that has been my experience of the drive that is called for to stand out and advance in business.

5. When we feel tenderness from another it sparks the memory of that tenderness in ourselves, it is truly magical and yet could be our every-day normal if we embrace a body orientated way to live.

   1. Yes, and it is pretty amazing to be able to surrender in a session with somebody who just allows the space for that to happen. To see the tenderness & feel it – very reassuring.

   2. Body orientated ways of living, is definitely a game changer, as we feel so much from our whole body, and appreciation of how we can return to the tenderness, can be assured, by walking and feeling how tender our bodies are.

6. Today I finished a three part awareness of our wings class with Jane Torvaney. I had not appreciated the finesse of my scapula and how, by becoming so surrendered in my body, I could feel my arms and shoulders, in particular, lighter than I have ever felt. Practitioners like Curtis Benhayon and Jane Torvaney allow us a new way to be that supports the most delicate of movements and lets us feel how precious we truly are. This preciousness is not of the cotton wool variety but a tangible quality that can inform our movements and have us be reborn into something very real and joyful.

7. The quality of tenderness, delicateness and sacredness Curtis Benhayon brings to every bodywork session inspires me to live that same quality for myself.

   1. Yes, Curtis Benhayon is the most amazing practitioner, he inspires and supports you to return to your soul.

8. Curtis Benhayon very lovingly accepts people unconditionally, just entering the clinic room and feeling held this way, and met for who I am, is a huge healing before the bodywork even starts.

9. Coming back and connecting with that tenderness rather than going with the drive can be so supportive.

   1. When we are in the drive, the tenderness is out the window; being in drive feels horrible in our bodies, and for those around us.

10. I can totally relate to the list you give here Judy of your experieince during a healing session with Curtis Benhayon. He is an exemplary example of a man in his true tenderness. Never, have I experienced being treated with such tenderness from a man who asked nothing of me but simply asked to be and allowed me to be all that I am with the deepest integrity, respect and honouring as part of a healing session and consequently offered me the opportunity to feel that same level of tenderness within myself – something I did not not know even existed within me.

11. Could it be that in essence we – men and women – already are equal? what if the fight for equality is no longer needed if we all would connect with this inner space of infinite love?

    1. Any fight takes us out of our essence and our natural equality.

       1. Melinda I have come to an understanding that you cannot fight the astral plane, that is exactly what they want humanity to do, and they goad us to be in a constant fight with ourselves and others. This is how they feed off our energy. If we surrender back into our bodies we cut off their life force as they do not have their own life force, but sustain themselves via our emotional behaviours.

12. I’m noticing how naturally caring men are. Sometimes I ask my brother for support and observe the level of care and detail which he uses to approach a task. This is something that I’ve never noticed before, but appreciating it brings me to let go all the pictures that I projected onto men in the past and connect deeper with myself, and to realize that the same tenderness, care and deliciousness is in me as well.

13. Judy, it feels very beautiful to read what you experienced in that session with Curtis Benhayon. Your words are so alive that I can feel the same quality of tenderness inside me, thank you

14. If we all connected to our innate tenderness and treated each other tenderly much of the hurt and carnage that we see in the world around us today would be able to heal instead of being exacerbated.

15. Tenderness was a word that never entered my vocabulary until I started listening to presentations by Universal Medicine and in sessions with Curtis Benhayon I felt the true meaning of the word.

    1. Tenderness, and even delicateness is a whole new way of moving and being in this life.

16. Every session I have with Curtis is a turning point of my life and as a result my life and body have totally transformed in the most spectacularly gorgeous way!

17. Letting go of the drive.. we usually champion being driven as if it’s an important – essential, even- quality to get us through life. The subtle undertone is that if you’re not driven then you won’t be successful, and that being driven is a quality to aspire to. But what if this drive only serves to drive a wedge between who we truly are and an image of what we’re trying to live up to? A wedge between us all as we compete with one another? When we live in a way that we’re connected to what we can feel and don’t override that or dismiss it, there’s no need for pushing and driving. We are capable of doing loads of work in a sustainable way, but only when we’re prepared to take care of our bodies first, and when we let go of the enormous expectations, pictures and pressure that we put on ourselves. No drive, no push. Just flow.

    1. Bryony I can relate to what you are sharing as part of the company’s ethos is to be driven, only by driving yourself will you be successful. I have watched how this brings stress and competition to the sales ‘team ‘ which is not a team at all as we try to outdo each other which is a hateful way to be with each other as it feels so destructive in the body. Which shows me that money itself isn’t evil but the people who hanker after it and will climb over each other and crush others to get it have evil passing through them.

18. Our body has a natural rhythm that if we adhere to allows the day to flow and we can move almost seamlessly from one thing to the next. If we go into drive we lose that rhythm and the body has to harden to cope with the stress we are now putting on it.

19. Curtis Benhayon has also shown me what tenderness is possible in the treatment room. Getting off the table from one of his sessions has allowed me to feel such exquisite delicateness in and throughout my body and then expressing in my movements. This has inspired me hugely and I deeply appreciate it.

20. There are the ideals and beliefs we are consciously aware of and can say that we know about, maybe consider, or are convinced to be true, but then there are the many very subtle unconscious ones we only get to be aware of through experiences where something doesn´t add up the way we unconsciously or consciously expected it to be. In such moments instead of trying to make something work, it is very liberating to dig deep and explore one´s inner world of concepts and pictures that can rise to the surface and surprise us.

    1. I call that pattern matching – an objective observation that something here is not adding up and then the adventure of looking openly and honestly until we find out what is truly going on.

       1. Nicola I love what you are saying here, because we do not give ourselves the opportunity to try something different we are so ingrained in our patterns of behaviours. We are like Hamsters on a wheel. So to look at life differently stepping back so we can see that there is a whole different way of living and to look at this way of life as an adventure to have fun with a new way of being, brings so much joy to the day it’s a completely different way to live.

21. I had the opportunity recently of observing myself on camera, it was great to see and feel the way I moved. As I looked at my posture, I could feel how my neck was stuck out, it showed to me in a way that I had always been looking out of myself to people, also the out there searching was a way of life. I have noticed recently my body wanting to gently pull my head in, which goes along with more of a sense of me, a coming back and a claiming more of who I am. It feels so beautiful and loving after a lifetime of deserting me.

    1. Our body reflects our choices and because we see it every day we often don’t choose to see what is there to be seen.

       1. Lucy is it that we choose not to see or that we are completely numb to a situation until someone comes along and brings to our attention that maybe what we thought was true was actually a false way of being. I had this experience recently where it was suggested that we lie, that we are brought up to lie to ourselves and each other, that we have built a reality on lies. This suggestion was unpicked further so that it was plain to understand that we do indeed lie constantly, we have to if we want to keep our false reality a reality.

       2. We don’t choose to see the truth, we allow ourselves to be hoodwinked.

22. I agree – being tender in our movement is a moment to moment choice.

23. Curtis Benhayon is a phenomenal practitioner. There have been times when his simple and direct language has absolutely stunned me, because he would be so deeply un-judgemental and completely understanding. Unlike any other practitioner I knew, Curtis would simply present me back to myself so I could see the truth of how I had been living – and with this, make what changes I could see needed to happen. My life has completely changed because of these incredible moments with Curtis.

    1. I deeply cherished my sessions with Curtis Benhayon, a very lovingly tender and wise practitioner.

24. Pushing through to get everything finished we wreck the fine systems of our bodies and end up exhausting ourselves. Why not honour the body when it says rest and accept if not even appreciate our limitations.

25. Most of us if not all have experienced growing up in the absence of being encouraged to appreciate our preciousness, who we are in essence or being fostered to know that our innate beingness is divine. We are taught how to override our body and our connection to our Soul, to push through life to succeed and survive, and so to abuse ourselves becomes quite normal. Not who we are but falsely accepted as such. However, who we are remains untouched and true in its purity, always waiting for us to reconnect to the precious, tender and sacred qualities of who we naturally are and have always been.

    1. I agree with you Carola Woods, we are taught to push through life to succeed and to survive is the security we go for. Then we met Serge Benhayon or actually any one of the Benhayon family and we are met with a different reflection of life. As you correctly say we are showered with the truth of who we are, it can take some time to adjust to the fact that we are also precious, tender and have the same sacred qualities, but these qualities were crushed and resurrecting ourselves from the crushing can take some time but so worth the dedication to oneself to arise out of the mud of creation.

26. To connect with the level of tenderness that you share Judy is life changing. As a man discovering through my connection with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that tenderness is not a weakness and instead is actually a strength has, and is, truly liberating.

27. Allowing yourself to feel completely accepted by another for all that you are really got me to contemplate, how at ease am I with this for myself? Definitely not a 100%. Why not? Well, I’d say because I get to feel my essence and how away from it I live. But this is great! I know who I am and what isn’t in keeping, so can make loving changes, seeing where I may resist and look to explore this further.

28. How beautiful and true this is: Within this new walking posture I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live – it is simply an ongoing choice.

29. ‘The first step was to let go of the drive, which pushed me to finish every job within unrealistic time-frames.’ Spot on Judy, too many people think drive is a normal way to be, letting go of this we invite ourselves to experience a different way to move everyday with a connection to ourselves and our tenderness.

30. When we develop a new marker as how life can be, which in your case Judy was how we can walk differently after releasing tensions and issues from our body, anything that is not this new way is very quickly exposed. I have come to be amazed at the power of the old configurations in my body and the resistance there often is to a new way of moving, but once exposed the process of dismantling them and then choosing to move in a more loving way is so worth the choice and the commitment.

    1. Yes very true Ingrid – interesting to observe that once we do reconnect to our true way of beingness, love, that the way of living that we had ‘thought’ was giving us freedom is exposed as a falsehood and rather as an incarceration and a diminishing and what moving with true freedom means; aka being moved by love.

       1. I have discovered since committing to make the choice to move in the most loving way possible that any time I don’t the difference in how I feel is so huge that it usually stops me in my tracks quite quickly. This marked difference simply shows me how I spent so much of my life not “moving with true freedom” but in a way that has been so very harmful to my body as well as to all those around me.

31. It’s lovely isn’t it to return to the tenderness, to realise we can treat ourselves with the same preciousness as we would a baby. Through Esoteric Yoga sessions and also practicing Sacred Movement at home I continually return to the true essence of myself and feel that same tenderness. Breaking down the patterns and ways of being and moving that are contra to the tenderness can take time, but it’s so worth it to live from the essence of who we naturally are.

    1. Returning to our true essence, being delicate with ourselves, knowing we are precious and deserve that level of love.

32. Consciously letting go of tension in the shoulders makes such a difference to our approach. It supports us to be more gentle or tender or even delicate with our movements.

33. Curtis Benhayon is a truly and deeply tender man and a master practitioner.

34. What we say yes to, turns into an energy that locks our movements in a particular way if we are not conscious about how we move and what we move when we move. It is only thanks to a particular way of moving that we can keep alive in us an idea acquired in the past.

35. When we let go and allow ourselves space to feel deeply within, we get to feel our true connection and from that connection we are able to feel the tenderness we are, in stillness and in movement.

36. The way we walk can bring tension into the body, effectively walking ourselves into stress and meltdowns. Imagine if “changing how you walked and how your body feels when you walk in certain ways” was taught more widely? So simple yet practical and effective.

37. Thank you Judy. I so appreciate when a man expresses his tenderness and allows it to be seen. I realise that I could voice my appreciation a lot more than I do, thank you for this inspiration.

38. I have observed since the development of my relationship with tenderness, I walk differently. And I observe this when I’m even at the gym, (where I developed my hardness further). I see how other women workout and it reminds me of how I used to train and hearing the heavy weights being bashed around or the heaviness when they are on the treadmill hurts my ears – I love observing people.

    I now have no set routine or time I need to spend at the gym, I do my workout and leave, no ideal and beliefs of how I need to train my body anymore. Love this new way of living.

39. Most of my life I have been hard on myself and appearing strong when I was crumbling inside. In the last 4 years I realised that this wasn’t working and since my experience with Universal Medicine, I have come to realise that there is another way and slowly introduced tenderness into my everyday living.

    My partner reflects this tenderness daily, and once I was the opposite. I love the relationship I’m developing with tenderness, it is beautiful to feel and a lovely reflection to others.

    1. Living with tenderness, or even delicateness is a reflection the world needs.

40. ” I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.”
    We are all desiring of the quality of care a new born baby receives.

41. Yes walking in a posture that is true for our body can be energising and so much fun. I think we don’t fully realise how much the way we move affects the way we feel in ourselves.

42. This shows me the importance of how we can live in a way that inspires others to do the same. The way Curtis lives is inspiring many people to bring more tenderness and awareness into their own lives. It is not through what he says per se, but through the way he lives so it is tangibly felt by all. That is true inspiration and we can offer that to each other – pretty cool heh!

43. I thought it was very interesting how you said you felt a new way to walk and move that felt amazing but a couple of times the old way crept back in, it really shows that if we make a choice to live differently that’s brilliant but this choice has to keep being made until it becomes a natural part of our way of living.

44. “as I begin to feel what tenderness truly is” tenderness is an expression of love and is deeply felt during a session with Curtis Benhayon.

45. Recognising and letting go of the drive is absolutely essential for all of us, men and women. the thing is this drive, this push, is something that society nurtures now from such an early age… We certainly do need the amazing reflections that people like Curtis offer to us, and that which we can all embody.

46. From the start when you mentioned that you had an experience of tenderness like no other, I immediately thought of Curtis Benhayon. His exquisite level of tenderness that he expresses through his every movement really exposes the hardness and holding back in my body. If there is one man like this, then all man are naturally like this… this is something as women and society we need to really understand.

47. Thank you Judy, Curtis Benhayon is an incredible practitioner and person, he brings a level of tenderness, care, respect and support to his Esoteric Massage sessions that is setting a new benchmark. It’s extraordinary to experience what a true man feels like, that is, a man truly living from the essence of who he is, without any impositions from the outer world of how he is supposed to be. Curtis is an amazing reflection of how much we can all bring to others when we allow ourselves to simply be all of who we naturally are.

    1. Absolutely Melinda, ‘Curtis Benhayon is an incredible practitioner and person, he brings a level of tenderness, care, respect and support to his Esoteric Massage sessions that is setting a new benchmark.’

48. A very relatable blog Judy – thank you for the clarity you bring to how ideals and beliefs bind us into a way of existence that does not permit us to know the truth of the tenderness and essence of who we truly are. I have also experienced Esoteric Body Work sessions and many ideals and beliefs have been exposed for the lie that they perpetuate.
    “However, this week came the earth-shattering experience that broke the mold on a few more beliefs I held firmly in my body. I had a session with Curtis Benhayon, a practitioner of Universal Medicine Modalities and, in particular, Esoteric Body Work”

49. Experiencing the incredible level of deep care and tenderness during sessions with Curtis Benhayon, has really shown me where I could go in my own development of these traits, and the wisdom that he has shared with me goes way beyond his age, or even this lifetime. This is an inspiration to me, as it shows that we can all connect to that inner stillness (as Curtis displays on a consistent basis) that is ageless, and leads us to a deeper level of acceptance and awareness. My life has been changed forever by just one sentence that Curtis has provided in relation to an observation of something going on for me at the time. We can all do that for ourselves when we allow it in.

50. It’s staggering how many ideals and beliefs are pulling the strings in our everyday life, and for the majority of us, we are unaware of how influential they are or if we even need to question them.

    1. Ideals and beliefs play out in our lives far more than most people realise.

51. When we connect to our true qualities all the so-called ‘true’ qualities are easily exposed as the false imposters that they are.

52. Feeling space in your body and feeling the clarity of everything around you is actually amazing. I experience this often when I have esoteric healing sessions….and I can now even feel it on a daily basis, if I choose to. There are definitely times I don’t want to feel it all, and then I have numerous tactics to make sure I block it all out. But the problem with that is that it’s always there. So accepting life for what and how it is, is definitely a simpler way to go.

53. A beautiful sharing Judith, such an honour to a true practitioner and also to yourself equally. Amazing how one hour can change our lives forever and in such a deeply profound way.

54. As women in pushing ourselves to be rough and do it all not only are we causing immense pain and hurt to ourselves by disregarding our delicate and tender selves, we are also not allowing space for men to express their own exquisite tenderness.

    1. Lucy we are taught the opposite but caring for ourselves and being all of who we are is truly caring for others.

55. Tuning in with how our body is feeling is something we can keep bringing ourselves back to – it gives us a truly harmonious guide on how to do things and what needs doing in the most harmonious way possible for all.

    1. Surrendering our body to what is impulsed to us from Heaven, allowing the joy and harmony to be present.

56. Challenging our ideals and beliefs exposes so many ways that we have been hard on ourselves and allows us to alter our movements to be more supportive.

57. Beautifully shared Judy. It has been quite a revelation to discover how our freely our bodies move when they move with the quality of tenderness. It has been through developing a loving relationship with my body that I realised that the love I am within is what guides me to live in a way that honors who I naturally am in essence. I now feel a far greater sense of power and knowing by allowing myself to be moved by the love and tenderness I am, rather that the drive I once allowed to rule my movements which only lead me to feel exhausted and still feeling unfulfilled.

58. So many great points Judy. Our choices, how we look after ourselves everyday and the rush or ease with which we move, accumulate to build either illness or a great quality of life. It is both empowering and humbling to understand that we are all equipped to simply be and live all that we are capable of and there is actually no excuse not to.

59. This is a beautiful sharing Judy. It is very touching to be in the presence of a man such as Curtis who lives and walks with deep tenderness and is very honouring of himself, having a session with him is deeply healing and always inspires me to be more tender and loving in the way I move and express.

60. Understanding and appreciating that my innate quality as a man is tenderness has been a life changing revelation. When first introduced to this idea it seemed an anathema to the ideals, beliefs and physical ways of being that are the social norms and which I had endeavoured to develop but it resonated so strongly with me. Learning to de-configure those ideals, beliefs and physical actions is an ongoing process but the more I do the more I feel me and the more I feel a true man.

61. How revealing it is to see how we can be held by self imposed ideals and beliefs that go against our nature.

62. Experiencing the amazing tenderness of Curtis Benhayon’s sessions is one thing … to experience the consistency is a revelation.

63. There is nothing like a lived experience to reveal to what extent you are owned by images/beliefs that are simply not true.

64. I too have never experienced such tenderness, love, care in a young man before I met Curtis Benhayon. Every time I have a session from him I get blown away by the level of deep honoring he has for women and men equally and this inspires this same in me.

65. “I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice.” Curtis Benhayon is such a beautiful tender man and I have noticed with him and with some other practitioners that they treat me with far more tenderness and even love than I have done for myself. A true wake-up call.

66. When we are met with the true tenderness of a man as with Curtis, it is heart melting bringing us back to the tenderness that we all hold innately within us, I am looking forward to my sessions with Curtis thank you Judy for a beautiful sharing.

67. When you are out womaned by a man, its a wake up call. There are two parts to it, the first being the fact that you are not living the sacredness that you are innately born with is brought to your attention and the second part is how a man that lives in true balance of both masculine and feminine actually invites you to live both parts equally.

68. We as women are indeed punishing ouselves by going into doing and making our lives about time and what we can achieve instead of feeling our innate grace and tenderness and choose this quality in what we do. We can learn a lot from men who have chosen to live their tenderness and inspire us women to let go of hardness and drive and choose love for ourselves.

69. Curtis is a great inspiration to me, to see how he has changed over the years and to see a man express such a deep level of tenderness is so gorgeous, when you are met with this it just allows you to drop and you felt met and held in an amazing level of love. This then supports me to see that underneath all of our external behaviours and patterns, we are all this too.

70. Such a deeply beautiful sharing Judy, thank-you. And particularly profound in that not only are you so inspired by the lived way of another, but that Curtis and yourself could work together in the session, that your body could embrace such a deep change.
    How blessed we are, to have such true physicians (in the ancient Greek sense) amongst us…

71. Through the tenderness that men natural are, I have reconnected to my own which had been buried so deeply beneath pushing through being the one everyone could rely on for support without giving myself any support.

    1. This is very common in women isn’t it? We are so busy with everyone else and forget about ourselves, but why are we choosing this pattern? For me it had to do with a lack of self love and I would do nearly everything to get recognition for my ‘doing good’.

72. Reconfiguring the information that resides in my body and allowing love, which implies care and respect lived whithin me, is being a process that is taking its time too. The magic of this is that it’s not an instant change, but a shift that is increasingly felt when I hold steadily and consistently my commitment with my self care.

73. I love how our body exposes our ideals and beliefs; what a challenge and responsibility we have to respond and heal lovingly and tenderly. A beautiful and inspiring blog to read Judy.

74. Asking for support when I need it is supporting me much more than I realised. A belief that I had to struggle to get things done because in my mind I thought it was quicker and easier has been a long held behaviour of mine bringing with it much resentment in my body to clear. Exposing and letting go of any belief or ideal is certainly worth an investment towards our wellbeing.

75. The power of our movements have no bounds as they can inspire others to feel the potential of how gentle, still and honouring they too can be with themselves. This is a quality that Curtis Benhayon most definitely expresses.

76. I have had massage sessions with Curtis Benhayon and he is so tender and unimposing you almost forget he is in the room with you.

77. When women claim their loveliness, gorgeousness and preciousness it allows the men to drop into themselves more deeply and discover their own tenderness and true nature. Why? Because women then don’t look at the men out of need but from a place of true worth, a place where she knows herself and asks the man to feel that connectedness within himself too.

    1. Gorgeous, Rachael – thank you.

78. A session with Curtis Benhayon is a gift straight from heaven, for many of the reasons you outlined, especially this one a “clarity of truth in response to my questions which I have rarely seen.” I had a session with him recently and he shared a truth with me that resonated so deeply with me, that I was left almost speechless, it was so profound. I had been knowing something was not quite right with this topic but could not see the truth, and he shared it with me so simply and so power-fully that it was life changing.

79. When we strip away our ideals and beliefs, we get to see that men are equally tender as women. We are all the same in essence. But rarely do we see the tenderness in men and women these days because a tough, hard and protected front is mostly encouraged in our current society. Thankfully things are changing and I am seeing more and more people getting in touch with their tenderness, because people are feeling a call to live the truth of who they are.

80. This is beautiful for it exposes that how we are with ourselves, including the beliefs that we have or the ideals we buy into directly affect and impact on our body and that our body openly responds to a loving way. Universal Medicine Therapies are incredible for you get to feel who you truly are and it’s a constant reminder that we have a choice in how we live and this makes all the difference to our body.

81. I remember there was always a lot of attention given to posture and the way we moved as we grew up. I remember in the family home a few things coming under the constant microscope as it did in school as well. So what if there was a truth to what was being said but from the way it was said we couldn’t hear it clearly? As this article presents there is an appreciation for postural change in a walk that is felt, understood and seen as a support. When there is a move back into an older way of walking there is a bodily feeling of how restrictive this is and can be. What if at any moment when things seem a little heavy you could just simply move your body in a different way that would then support more of what you are seeing. I have certainly experienced this many times as there is more to movement than we care to see at times, well most of the time. Walking is a powerful tool we can use to get a sense of ourselves, obviously we can use it for other reasons but it’s truly there to support us to connect to simply what we are doing, walking.

82. It’s such a gift to be offered such moments of clarity and exposure as to what’s really going on behind the shield of protection so many of us walk through life behind.

83. Isn’t it interesting how we try to fight time and how we blame time for lots of things including not being able to be tender or caring for ourselves instead of truly feeling what are the ideals and believes underneath our troubles with time.

84. My grandson is the most tender sweetest young boy. I have learnt from him that this is how all men start off and the hardness and disconnect is something they learn and take on to protect themselves as they get older. Women do it too. I am reacquainting myself with the word ‘tenderness.’ A quality we could all do with remembering is innate in all of us.

85. We have so many ways in how we see things and how we are with ourselves and others, and often it’s not very tender. I still catch myself pushing to do the task, rather than putting my body first – I don’t want to let myself or others down and this belief is very strong and not particularly tender. Now it’s not that we don’t commit, we do and we can but the question which arises is how do we do this, with true care and tenderness for us and our bodies or with drive?

    1. I can totally relate Monicag2 because I was exactly the same. It has taken me years to learn to say no the people without the fear of letting them down. I sometimes still catch myself doing this but I am so much more aware and able to recognise how harmful it is when I am not honouring, listening or respecting what my body tells me. Now being able to say no to certain things without feeling any tension but a deep love for myself, is incredible.

86. Esoteric healing modalities have enormously helped me to see how I have set my life up so that I would not feel my body, therefore, have little access to what it offers, and the way I treat my body is definitely one of the most obvious ways.

87. Beautiful to read this again this morning and to be reminded at how there is always a deeper level of tenderness to go to. And we can choose this for ourselves today.

88. I have experienced this tenderness with Curtis Benhayon too. I had a session with him the effects of which stayed with me for months afterwards such is the love and care he works with. Developing tenderness with ourselves is important as it links with awareness. In fact I would say it is a way of life not just another tool to add to our toolkit.

89. ‘Being offered the space to feel everything going on in my body, including the initial tension at being offered such deep tenderness’ – I can relate to this feeling of initial tension when you are offered to go deeper with your own level of tenderness, my body loves the offering but it asks me to surrender and let go of the guard I have used for so many years.

90. Thank you Judy for sharing so beautifully and highlighting how naturally our bodies respond and as such freely move with greater power and grace, when implused from our inner-most, our essence, our connection to Soul. Our tenderness is a flow, an emanation, that reflects the quality of the stillness of who we all are within, be it man, woman or child, and come only be known and felt through our willingness to connect or surrender to our inner-heart.

91. Sometimes my movements are so distracted that I literally am crashing into furniture. This happens a lot at work and I end up with bruises all over my legs. I have decided to be more conscious of how I move as a way of taking better care of my body.

92. I have had similar experiences in and following sessions with Curtis Benhayon. The tenderness we reconnect to can continue to deepen if we let it, so thank you for this reminder today. It is amazing how our being tender can inspire others too.

93. How many people walking this planet at the moment have never experienced what true tenderness is. Curtis Benhayon is the absolute master of tenderness and to be shown this level of tenderness by another man is hard to put into words but it is so inspiring and to realise it is only down to choices, oh and a lot of livingness is amazing. I had no idea about tenderness or self love before Universal Medicine and this blog is such a great reminder to keep working at it as it only gets better and more deeper the more we live and practice it.

94. You’ve made me ponder; Do I care for myself in the precious way I would care for a new-born baby? And the honest answer I have to give is, no I don’t. I do it sometimes, when I am with myself in and after a shower or when I put myself to bed but when I step out of the door I am not consistently choosing to move my body in this same tender and precious way I know I am worthy of. I will take the surrender to this quality with me today.

95. Letting go of the drive in my life was hard at first, I liked the stimulation and I felt like I was getting somewhere, but in fact I was getting more and more exhausted. I have found the Esoteric Yoga modality a brilliant support where I feel a deeper connection to my body that allows the space for a different choice about the quality in all my movements.

96. It is the ‘ongoing choices’ that get me sometimes — where I think ‘Ok, I’ve made the choice now I’m fine and have set up a good pattern’… But… If that choice is not continuously made, it’s very easy to fall back into old ways that do not serve. It can’t be a one-choice-wonder, consistency is certainly key.

97. Recently, I have fallen back into an old pattern of pushing to get things done and I can feel how much this has hurt my body. What’s interesting is not so long ago this was my ‘normal’ way of being and I accepted feeling exhausted and propped myself up with a variety of stimulants to keep me going. Reading this blog has reminded me this is a completely false way of being and by simply connecting to my tenderness and the way I move I can completely change the quality of my day regardless of what is going on.

98. Society does so much harm with its definition of what a man is meant to be. Starting before a child is even born, the definitions, expectation and belief systems dictate particular responsibilities the child is to live. Your experience with Curtis Benhayon has changed your world and I can’t help but deeply appreciate all this beautiful young man brings every day to this world we live in. The more this happens the more society’s old belief systems will be challenged and hopefully changed.

99. To discover and to keep on deepening tenderness, with ourselves and with others, is indeed a simple ongoing choice; thank you Judy for the timely reminder.

100. Something this blog reminds me of is that deep within we are all love no matter we may look like or have done. So when we drop all the layers and guard we simply return to the magnificence of the love we are and with this comes an abundance of tenderness. The more we then are this love with ourselves the more we can share it with others.

101. Another beautiful part in your blog Judy I would like to highlight: ‘Once or twice during my walk I felt the old movement return and it seemed that walking in this old way brought a real tension to my muscles and a discomfort came with that tension.’ I recently realised how much tension I hold in my body when I walk, sit or stand. This tension I realised was from seeking protection, bracing and hardening my body against people and the world. Having also experience what it feels like to move without this form of tension shows that I can choose to move and express with tenderness and love instead of hardness and protection. Realising there is no need for any form of protection in my body feels amazing as I can allow myself to trust and surrender to love that is all around us and within us.

102. We are all deeply tender, both men and women. I too have in the past allowed the ideals and belief I picked up along the way shield this tenderness from being shared and lived. Letting go of these ideas and beliefs feels amazing as it supports me to truly appreciate the natural tenderness within myself and others.

103. Men and women alike play ball with images of men that are not true. These pictures are very powerful, and attract us because they are confirmed by how we conduct ourselves, how we relate to each other and get along etc.

     1. I agree there are soo many images about how a man should be like and most if not all of them set us up to think we need to be something we are not. Whereas when we simply let ourselves be the love and tenderness we are is evident and undeniable.

104. I remember once upon a time when I would wake up feeling tired and stressed and I hadn’t even set a foot out of bed. I was running on nervous energy and stress because I would push my body to the bring everyday to get things done. I really enjoy getting out of bed now and feel so ready for the day and it’s all because I have found a rhythm and routine that feels great in my body and I am really enjoying the connective tissue exercises I do in bed and then as I place my feet on the ground it feels amazing. Nurturing our innate tenderness sets a new foundation for every movement thereafter and that feels oh so beautiful.

105. What I have found is that in that drive and push there’s a criticism towards myself for having gone there, which in turn fuels more pushing against the body. But connecting to the body there is no criticism or dwelling on past choices, only how it feels to move now. This can be confronting to the part of us that wants to hold on to that ill movement as having some worth, but the body can be a great marker in telling us if a choice is worth holding onto and repeating or not.

106. Learning to be tender with ourselves and others should be the underlying foundation of all education.

107. I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” Breaking this belief and allowing myself to connect and express from my true nature of tenderness has been challenging but has been so worth it and life enhancing.

108. Learning to let go of the hardness I have carried in my body has been life changing. Allowing myself to surrender to this deeper quality of tenderness within has been a beautiful experience, a work in progress that the more I commit to – the more it rewards me.

109. Thank you Judy for sharing such a beautiful and amazing experience, I too have experienced the power of such tender loving healing sessions; after one of my recent sessions I walked out feeling an exquisite lightness in my body that I had not felt to that extent before.

110. I have also been fortunate enough to have had some massage sessions with Curtis Benhayon and I too am in awe of the tenderness that he carries in his body and that I experience in a session and that I then feel in me as I leave. This and his way of capturing the essence of what needs to be worked on in order to change past patterns of behaviour is a gift that can last a lifetime – and more, I feel sure.

111. I am developing my relationship with Tenderness, and it is one that at every evolving moment feels Di-Vine!

112. I find that this push and drive is often reflected back to me in the way I drive a car. Of course this is totally irresponsible as it could put me and others at risk of danger. Just taking a few minutes to reconnect before I start on my journey and being more aware of the possible need to do this during the trip supports me to be more present, naturally attentive and care full.

113. Our normal becomes embedded in our muscles, the drive, anxiousness the overwhelm. It feels normal to live with tension. But the reality is none of that is us, just what we have taken on and the massages I have had with Curtis gave me an opportunity to feel the difference between the two.

114. My sessions with Curtis Benhayon have also been profound in that I have had the space to reconnect with and make new choices for my own body. Such moments with yourself are priceless.

115. We spend much of our life living in protection, and when we as women are not expressing the natural love that we are, men will continue to hide their tender and sensitive selves.

116. There is a great intelligence in our body and working and living in harmony with it makes a huge difference.
     We can use our mind to push or drive our body, or give up in reaction to life, or we can connect back with the wisdom inside of us and develop living with that each day..

117. It is funny that what we consider natural is not natural but a perception totally tainted by images that we accept as representing true, even if they are not.

118. It is amazing how we feel so much better after Esoteric healing sessions yet do not take that as a ‘cure’ but see that as a marker of quality that has always been available to us and we are now awaken to, therefore can keep coming back to as our choice.

119. Thank you Judy, this is a beautiful testament of the way Esoteric Bodywork allows us to reconnect deeply to that which is truth within us all and create a new marker in our bodies that can be expressed through all our movements.

120. There is nothing more beautiful for me to feel than a man living in his tenderness. It has also been very confronting for me as when a man has reflected this to me I can feel where I am not tender and self honouring. I live in this reflection from three gorgeously tender men in my family and I am very appreciative.

121. ‘‘Time’ is something I have always fought all my life, since there never seemed enough of it to complete all the things I needed to do.’ Something I can relate to Judy, this idea of having not enough time is exhausting. Unrealistic ideas of how much we have to do or complete, trying to be perfect, expectations we cannot fulfill and leave us empty, feeling not enough. How amazing it is to have the support from Universal Medicine to expose these patterns of behaviour and I completely agree the level of tenderness in every session I had with Curtis Benhayon is astounding and from heaven.

122. There is no doubt that our posture and movements determine the quality of our livingness. How beautiful that a session with Curtis Benhayon deepened your awareness, understanding and appreciation of this fact, allowing you to feel tenderness, clarity, love and wisdom.

123. The tenderness that Curtis Benhayon expresses is truly a living role model of the tenderness that is the truth of all men.

124. Curtis Benhayon allowed me to feel what it was like to have a deep relationship with myself. This marker is still in my body and will never leave. It was a revelation for me to be still and allow life to come to me, to not need or reach out to people, but be so still, content, so lovely in my own body that I didn’t want to leave it. I watched the world, people, come and go and didn’t get affected by it.

125. Sessions with Curtis Benhayon are incredible, I have never been met with such absolute tenderness.

126. We live with so many ideals and beliefs engrained in out bodies, I can often feel them in my hips, I am surprised at how many ideals and beliefs that I have taken on and believed as a little girl, that come up and reveal themselves often. Once a layer is gone, more that come up. I often find myself self saying wow I didn’t realize I had taken it / that on, it’s not mine. I can even find it in physical movements I make, for example thoughts about the heating, how warm it should be, or turning it off, then I stop and realize I have taken it on from someone else. In that moment I ask myself what do I feel, what is my choice. We even do it with what time we should eat at, and how much / often we should eat. It’s actually crazy to think about the amount of stuff we are told from a child growing up that’s not actually true, yet we spend our entire lives believing it instead of being supported to know our truth from our bodies, rather than being fed into our head.
     I hear it so often in schools, kids sharing things that are not their truth, they have taken them on because a book, teacher, parent, adult has said so, that’s not to blame the adults because the same would have happened to them, we give our power away, maybe for comfortable life, to information outside ourselves. For the fact is, given the space we do all know deep down through every single cell of our entire body what our truth is, we are simply not fostered, supported and encouraged as a child growing up to connect to, evolve and honour this.

127. I agree Judy having a session with Curtis Benhayon is a deeply healing experience, the way he holds himself in such regard and with such tenderness is beautiful to feel – his lived ways inspires me to surrender more to my tenderness.

128. I can also shake my head at the ideals, beliefs, pictures and expectations I grew up with and the insidious power they had on my life; it is certainly a work in progress to discard there impact and influence. Thank you for the reminder that one simple movement can shift the heavy energy held in the body.

129. Super lovely Judy! It’s a pretty cool revelation when we realise that all the stuff we kinda knew was a bit off, is confirmed. We really do love to do a number on ourselves.

130. I still hold my body at times, in a level of disregard, at moments I almost treat myself like I don’t or have not fully accepted I have a body at all, and with that what a beautiful woman I am. This is a way to avoid responsibility of co-creation, and doing all that needs to be done. You could say this is a bad thing to feel, but it’s not, as it’s an opportunity to let go of creation once and for all.

131. It’s incredible how one simple movement can change everything, it can either align us to God and co-creation or not. A movement can be a physical thing but also it can be a thought, what we eat, how we dress, do these evolve us or not?

132. So much gold here Judy. As I read your words I could feel how hard I am on myself and how much I constantly push myself to get things done in short timeframes. It feels very freeing to let this go at this moment.

133. The transformation that can come from just one healing session is profound… however as you have said, it is up to us to say yes to not only what has been offered, but to say yes continually… choosing to embody and embrace a more deeply loving way of being on a daily basis… or return in a moment to what we were living before. It is deeply empowering to know the choice is always ours to make.

134. I just had a little laugh at myself as I realized that I keep myself so busy working really hard at doing whatever needs to be done that I become too exhausted by the end of each day to do a few simple things that would really support me to make changes to break this pattern.

135. Judy, I can totally relate to this “I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” This pattern is proving to be extremely difficult to shift but I am chipping away at it.

136. Wonderful to feel that so clearly from your body. I have felt that deep tenderness and love working to ensure that my connection to that is stronger than my connection to the hardness I am more familiar with. It takes dedication and commitment to love.

137. How beautiful and honouring to feel this in your body. As I was reading this. I felt how we can bring this deep honouring, gentleness, tenderness and love to ourselves. We are inspired and we are also all those things too. We connect to the same love and all this is possible. Thank you Judy for this awesome blog.

138. Somedays I wake up and before I get out of bed I am already giving myself a lecture about how I have to try and eat well and get the whole self-loving thing right today, and instantly I feel hardness in my body. When I bring understanding into the equation I am able to let go of self-criticism and be the tender loving woman that I am, accepting and appreciating myself for who I am and what I bring to humanity.

139. Aah Judy, that old chestnut, drive, something I know very well, and I’m now considering more deeply how that affects my body. For a long time I thought I got away with it, but the truth is I never did and as my body is increasingly loud with how this affects things I find I need to look my clearly at what I do, and more importantly how I am with it, with my body as I do it. And going into push or hardness does not cut it, and reading today I can feel another level of care is needed, as I was reminded by a friend that loving myself is also loving my body, and including it in every picture, and dropping that drive and need to be in control, to have it all sorted and allow myself to find my way through it in deep tenderness with my body.

140. It is a true blessing to have a session with Curtis Benhayon, he takes such care in lifting the arms, straightening or the legs .. in fact care with the whole body when treating, including how blankets are placed over the body. I have never known such true tenderness and genuine care other than other members of the Benhayon family and a Universal Medicine practitioners and students. It is deeply healing and for me personally gives me a new marker of how I can care for myself. I loved reading this ‘A level of openness and connecting with a love and stillness so deep, my awareness of what love truly is has been changed forever ‘

141. Walking with every part of your body alive, that is only there when we connect with the fact that we are part of the universe. We have the choice to align because every cell, every particle in our body knows and is divine. And this is something to appreciate with every step we take.

142. Judy I have also been quite hard on myself without truly realising. With the Universal Medicine therapies and practitioners I have experienced new markers of tenderness and gentleness from how I was treated, which has inspired me to live more gently and tenderly and with more care for myself. Being hard with ourselves and pushing our bodies is a “normal” yet it doesn’t have to be. It is so much better for our health and wellbeing to be gentle and caring with ourselves.

143. In tenderness our body is allowed the freedom to return to its natural posture.

144. Thank you Judy for your sharing. It is so beautiful to read of the wonderful changes we can make just through letting go the Ideals and beliefs we have held for so long, possibly lifetimes

145. ‘Complete acceptance by another of all that I am.’ When I have experience such acceptance in the past it has brought me to tears, because it brought to light how I did not accept myself. Thankfully that has changed, but it is the most wonderful feeling to experience from another and lately from myself.

146. Thank you Judy. I love the way you share that we have a responsibility to care for ourselves as though we were a new born baby. This leaves no room to justify pushing ourselves under any circumstances.

147. And the world is all the richer for the commitment and presence of our practitioners, they are true tenderness and grace and an assuring energy. Their choice to return to honouring their essence is a reflection for men and women of the sensitivities and strength this is when not held back and a glorious marker for us to feel

148. It’s interesting to feel the spine lengthen and open up to a flow, that connects us to our commitment and purpose. It’s one of the checks I use when I feel a bit unclear.

     1. Yes, our posture has a huge impact on the way we feel, simply lengthening in our body supports us to feel less tired at the end of the day.

149. So beautiful to connect to your blog again and to feel the tenderness that you experienced Judy, as it also connected me to that tenderness that I always have within – forever waiting for me to express and live it. Letting go of the drive is an ongoing process for me – and I am now realising for many others – as I let go of my need to prove myself, and surrender to a far greater and grander universe that awaits us all. Just in this moment I am feeling the steadiness and love that is available that supports me to let go and surrender.

150. Thanks Judy – a great confirmation that yes we men are deeply caring, nurturing and tender in all our ways head to toe, it’s all about letting it out.

151. A tender body creates a vessel for the implicit knowing that we are more than our mere physicality suggests. It opens a doorway to a world of energy, and with that a doorway to the awareness that everything we see on a physical level has an energetic imprint and emanation.

152. Reading your gorgeously tender blog reminded me of a very beautiful experience I had during a choir practice with Chris James when he asked the men to turn to the women and sing to them a song called Tenderness. The tenderness with which these men delivered the song simply melted our hearts and I don’t believe there was a dry eye in the hall.

153. Judy, that drive you speak of is very prevalent, and while I’ve done a lot of work to address my drive, today i got to feel that it’s still there, often subtle, sometimes not so, but what I’ve done is play a game where I’ve kept my drive but I try and do things more gently or tenderly – not bad I guess, but really I am still holding onto the drive when I do this, so the pressure is there, the same as before but I ‘think’ I am managing it better. So time to shift the focus away from the doing and thus it’s underlying drive and actually put the body first and let it guide me in how I do things – this feels like a big change and being honest a little uncomfortable as I can feel how much I like being in control and knowing the thing will be done, hence my application of drive. This is definitely something which requires greater exploration.

154. Thank you Judy, absolutely well put. There is no such thing as women are more tender than men – I feel as they actually are as super and at times even more tender than women. It is so beautiful to hear now that there is no reason to give up on tenderness in any way shape or form – just to honest about it and truly change our connection when we walk, talk, move and groove. Thank you again.

155. I have had sessions with Curtis Benhayon as well and got to feel that here was a man infinitely more gentle and tender than I had ever allowed myself to be, which I have to say was rather confronting on one level but so healing and supportive on the other. I got to feel that this is what all men carry within them, no different to women, we all feel.

156. Amazing! Coming to live with such such tenderness that is naturally within, is a miracle when we have been hard, protective and driven to show the outside world that we are something, where as living from tenderness we are already everything and accept ourselves as such.

157. If I have a picture in my head of how something should be and go into drive to achieve my picture, I become hard and ruthless overriding my delicate tenderness and I harm my body as a result. This harshness can be felt it the talk at hand. When I stop and let go of my pictures and connect with my tenderness and the process to unfold there attachment to the outcome and no stress on my body.

158. Beautiful to read Judy the deep tenderness, care and equality we are held in by Curtis and Michael Benhayon in our sessions which are truly inspiring and deeply healing, and this is a quality that all hold with in both men and women alike.

159. Hi Judy, thank you for the reminder of the level of tenderness and love in us all – it is a matter of choice and is available all of the time.

160. Tenderness really is an underrated and under appreciated quality. True tenderness is not wishy washy or weak but very powerful and supportive in my experience.

161. I know for myself too that when I’ve been locked in a belief or certain mind-set about something that I would override what my body was showing me. But I appreciate much more now the communication that my body is always giving me, pulling me back to harmony.

162. It’s funny when I read your blog again Judy I feel “I want that” come up. Yet I have that…in every choice and therefore every movement that I make in that loving energy. Self care begins with every choice and in every moment. It is glorious to have inspirational, tender men like Curtis Benhayon. To have the awareness that this tenderness, love and respect are possible is such a blessing.

163. Curtis Benhayon along with Serge Benhayon are the most tender men I know.

164. Choosing to live and move with such hardness, drive and rush, is saying that we are not good enough. It’s fighting our natural divine stillness and wisdom, our Soul – why would we want to do this? To not feel the unloving choices we have made and make?

165. “I would always push through to get everything finished.” through my body I am realising how I have done this for most of my life, and it’s deeply harming. Also whats the quality of the end product that other people get and feel, if we push through it with rush, hardness and drive? It’s certainly not love.

166. When I look back on the ideals and beliefs I was taught, and I absorbed, I to shake my head Judy. These ideals and beliefs are so destructive and harmful to ourselves and to others. They take us away from who we truely are, the love, light, harmony, joy, stillness and tenderness.
     Curtis Benhayon certainly does live and inspire a divine tenderness.

167. Curtis Benhayon is amazingly tender, this is beautiful to feel in a man, and was quite a contrast initially to how I had been living, ‘How a man can be deeply tender and, in this case, more tender than most of the women I know, and this includes myself!’

168. I too am learning to listen to my body, to honour what it says and be tender with myself, in contrast to how driven and disregarding I used to be. ‘The first step was to let go of the drive, which pushed me to finish every job within unrealistic time-frames. This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush, or without being aware of how my body was feeling.’

169. Yes Judy, underneath all the layers of protection, men are naturally very tender

170. Hello Judy and I guess we need to let go of what seems to be a competition between the genders about who and who is not tender or sensitive. On any given day or moment whoever stands in front of you possibly simply dedicate the moment to connecting with them. See them for who they are and let go of any thoughts of what they should do. Men are far more then they have been made out to be, they are also far more then they live and you only need to look at the younger men or boys to realise. We, as men spend most of our time attempting to ignore things that actually support us, we react to how they are seen or what words are used. This as you are saying Judy is a ‘problem’ for us all, regardless what gender you are.

171. Letting go of drive is huge for me. Society values driven people as they are perceived as hard workers and there is no better employee than a hard worker!! I am learning and loving being an employee who works hard but with self love in my body and very little drive. Much to ponder here, Judy.

172. Moments when not committed to myself and taking responsibility catch up with me and what I am realising is that it is these moments where I distract myself and check out that make the difference as to whether I end up rushing, pushing or driving myself. When I find myself overwhelmed with too much to do it is simply because of the choices I have made leading up to that moment.

173. Pingback: Exposing Ideals and Beliefs: Discovering Deep Tenderness | maggiemoonlight

174. Judy, I simply love these words: “The first step was to let go of the drive, which pushed me to finish every job within unrealistic time-frames. This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush, or without being aware of how my body was feeling.”

     For so very many years I have unquestionably followed this drive to succeed in something; to do the right thing; to complete a task for either my own self-satisfaction or for another’s recognition!

     And you’re right: it’s not about actually ‘doing’ less; but about walking easily on firm ground rather than struggling knee-deep in mud, which is how it feels when we adjust our movements so that we work with our bodies and not against them.

     I love your down-to-earth, simplistic approach Judy; it’s something that we can all so easily identify with. Thank you for sharing ❤

175. “This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush, or without being aware of how my body was feeling.” The words that stood out for me here were ‘unnecessary rush’. When working it is so accepted that we make it all about getting tasks done and to not care about the quality the task is done in. There is a huge difference in the quality of the completed task but also in the person who performed the task when done in a rush. If we would make doing tasks about quality and enjoyment first and foremost, it would leave the person full and energised and the work well done.

176. Thank you for sharing Judy. Simply reading the words reconnects me with a deep feeling of tenderness, a total letting go of tension in my body and allowing myself to be tender, in every moment. What a great gift to give myself and everyone around me with that.

177. Yes Judy, I too have had this experience with Curtis Benhayon in a session. I can never forget the up-most of honoring in which the table work was facilitated. My body had never been treated with such sacredness ever. . Men are naturally and deeply tender. After experiencing this truth, any-other less behavior now feels abusive and abrasive.

178. Every time I had a session with Curtis Benhayon I was surprised how tender a man can be – and that I as a woman did not live this kind of tenderness by myself to the extend what is possible for me. Therefore everything that reminds me to be more tender is a great reminder – so thank you Judy for writing this awesome blog.

179. I can relate to I have become very conscious of the way I move and in particular walk after having a session and have left the elongation of my spine as I walk with myself and also have been aware when I slip back in to old posture position and the difference I feel in my body and how I shrink back inside my shell withdrawing for expressing all of me and the discomfort I feel in my body when I choose to stay there. Being aware and choosing to honor and appreciate my myself by return to my new walking posture brings me back to walking effortlessly as l glide along with my tenderness expressing my authentic self.

180. Thank you Judy, your blog shows how esoteric massage is equally great medicine for the body. To incorporate Esoteric bodywork with conventional medicine is a script for enormous healing.

181. It’s incredible how the body holds a position or posture that has influence over the way we feel and the quality of thoughts we have. Your blog beautifully shows how beneficial and healing true bodywork is.

182. Having sessions with Curtis opened my eyes to how tender a man can be. To realise he was treating me with more tenderness than I treated myself was a big wake up call. A tender man is truly a sign of strength – a real man.

183. Curtis Benhayon is an amazing role model who demonstrates that tenderness in a man is not a sign of weakness but the true strength of a man.

     1. Well said Jonathon and very true – ‘tenderness in a man is not a sign of weakness but the true strength of a man.’

184. As a health care practitioner who practices esoteric massage I have also witnessed the incredible changes in how clients move and hold themselves and even physical structural re-alignments after a session of this modality. I have also noticed that the more tenderness I express through my hands when massaging, the more powerful the effect of the massage.

185. Tenderness for me is the equivalent of holding a baby – the care, the fragility, the love, the honouring that we show towards a baby and most of us received as a baby is delicious. So what happens when we grow up? At what point do we say, right enough of this tenderness lark, time to toughen up? And why do we abandon the tenderness we obviously naturally are and respond to? If we are honest are we not missing that tenderness as adults that we knew as babies?

186. I guess we could say that time is the enemy of tenderness. When I am being tender and deeply self loving with myself it feels like I have a lot of time and space to get things done. When I am being hard on myself there is less spaciousness and time closes in a lot more.

187. “men are naturally and deeply tender”: from a few words that speak directly to the heart of all men (and women) we can change our entire life. Bringing the quality of tenderness to all that we do, even as an experiment to understand what the difference may be like, is something that is worth trying.

     1. Absolutely David bringing the quality of tenderness to our everyday life is a great experiment to try for men and women. I know for myself it has had made an enormous difference in my life and continues to deepen the more I commit and surrender to this feeling.

188. As a man I now find it ridiculous how hard I worked at being hard sometimes, being tough because that is how I perceived that I needed to be in the eyes of others to fit in. It feels a lot more natural to be gentle and tender with myself and others, but I also know I still have a ways to go till I reach the level of tenderness that I am naturally from. I look forward to that day.

     1. I find it sad to watch men and woman raising children, little boys in particular to be touch the comments like man up or stop being a girl the look in the eyes of these tender little boys when they are spoken to this way they look shattered and confused being told they can’t truly be themselves. They soon learn how hard they have to be to fit into their families and society. More and more as we all learn to love and nurture ourselves more deeply both men and women everywhere are learning to re-connect with our gentle and tender selves and share that with the children in their lives.

189. Your experience just goes to show how there are always potential moments, interactions with another that can blossom into a matrix of awareness, understanding offering a deeper perspective about things. Living with love, with connection and being open to love offers the greatest source of intelligence. Thank you for sharing.

190. ‘ What actually supports me and my body and what allows me to be energised and have true well-being’, this is such a simple statement yet truly powerful for our whole being when we make choices that are more loving and supportive.

191. It is so simple- we can use our moments to evolve us and everyone else or we can use them to stagnate, stifle and bring more havoc to our body and those around us.

     1. Yes, we either harm or heal with every choice.

192. “The first step was to let go of the drive” – these words resonate deeply in me. For me it is still an ongoing process to let go of this drive. I can’t believe, that I’m still sometimes go into this drive – it is such a strong pattern in my life. I just have to be patient with myself and check what the benefit is for me going into this drive. I will work on that and expose all beliefs and ideas in this regard.

     1. I know what you mean Alexander. But I feel that it is important that we aren’t hard on ourselves. “I can’t believe…” is already a judgement and once in judgement, it is impossible for us to truly evolve. Accepting where I am at is so important and to accept that without judgement allows me to still feel the fullness of who I actually am. From this place, it is then my responsibility to make different choices.

        1. Otto this is so true – when we are clouded by judgement on ourselves or even judgement on others which in truth is still judgment on ourselves then we completely cap ourselves from feeling the fullness of who we are. That constant looking out and comparing, putting expectations on ourselves and others totally stops us from connecting the to real beauty that is within us all equally.

        2. And it also stops us from seeing some of the ugly stuff too! For example, I have often used judgement to make me believe that I have come to some kind of truth about the way I have been behaving. But actually that judgement has been a convenient and comfortable way of keeping me from seeing the full picture. Judgement is irresponsible. It is a choice to not see the full truth.

        3. Judgement is a capping and harmful energy, that takes us away from our fullness and beauty, ‘That constant looking out and comparing, putting expectations on ourselves and others totally stops us from connecting the to real beauty that is within us all equally.’ Accepting where I and others are, is key to evolving and being love.

        4. So true Lorraine. And it isn’t rocket science. I am currently investigating a building project. First thing to do is to get a full survey of the land and what is going on beneath ground level. From that place of full disclosure, truth and honesty, we can then build the building. Obvious.

        5. Judgement is another thing that gets in the way of tenderness. Does a baby judge itself when it falls over when learning how to walk?

        6. No it doesn’t. But it is fascinating watching how children can start to look out of themselves as they grow up. I have spent lots of time watching my, or other, kids through the crack in a door or without them knowing. It’s amazing – they play, they fall, they make ‘mistakes’…and none of it bothers them – there is, as you say Andrew, no judgement. However, if there is another child with them or an adult then the dynamic can change. Even at this early stage, the child is beginning to walk away from that absolute connection with and appreciation of their divine self. I have found that it takes commitment to rebuild – but it is also super easy, because that connection and knowing that we all had and that I observed in kids over and over, is still absolutely 100% in us all. Zero judgement. Absolute tenderness. And full appreciation.

        7. Another thing to note on this topic Andrew is how much we impose judgement on others – and in the most subtle of ways. Staying with your analogy of baby’s walking – I have observed how super careful we adults have to be when praising them. What I mean is that it isn’t until we say even the simplest “well done” that the child has any single notion that there is an achievement here to be achieved. Already we have sown the seeds of recognition and acceptance. Before we came along, the kid was just doing what it naturally was going to do and (without any doubt whatsoever) will definitely learn to do (in it’s own natural time). Yet, we start praising, congratulating or, in some cases, encouraging and hurrying and then suddenly this most natural of all movements has become this arena for recognition – AND failure. So the game has started. The really ugly version of this is when you see parents encouraging their kids to walk so that they themselves can get recognition – and so the poison is passed on.

        8. I agree ottobathurst and what occurs to me when reading your comment is that we reward our children (and each other as adults) for DOING things that please us. Hence the judgment – it either pleases us or doesn’t. But how often do we support or appreciate someone for BEING who they are? We do not even have to applaud that for it should be the most natural thing in the world, but we can allow and appreciate someone to be who they are by not imposing on them anything we need or want them to be.

        9. The path to true parenting – which, by the way, is relevant to all of us. Most especially, I have found, when parenting myself – which I am still learning how to do.

        10. Me too! We are all parents in this world..

     2. Yes Alexander Drive is something I really have to aware of too. Choosing to bring myself back to the fullness of me no matter how many times a day I slip into drive without judgment is my responsibility and I find appreciating and celebrating the moment of tenderness supports me to build on being present with myself and bringing myself back to my tender loving self.

193. I can relate with what you share here Elizabeth, I too was very driven by time, disregarding my body in the process, and am now choosing to be present and tender.

194. When we push through we are always asking ourselves to ignore how we feel and push away from ourselves. This completely ignores any tenderness we have. We step out of ourselves to do this. Recently I felt that whenever I went to do anything, it was as if I automatically went into this ‘push through’ energy. I realised how careful I needed to be as I was very used to moving this way.
     Acknowledging that we are tender human beings first before the overlays we have created, is essential to changing these patterns

195. I know how I can still go into the busy-ness of the day which blocks the feelings of care and tenderness. When I feel it, it’s great to take the time, make the space, make a moment to stop and return to me by breathing my own breath and walking my own walk. It makes all the difference .

196. What a huge turn around Elizabeth, Some of us go our whole lives with time against us, but how expansive is it when we simply stop doing and start observing our behaviours of keeping busy, rushing and stressing. Time will always be there – but our approach to is can be one of 2 ways – either to cap us or to allow us to have space.

197. Funny to think but we actually use the word ‘tenderness’ a lot in medicine. We often ask our clients “is that tender?” ” Is there any tenderness there?” In its simplest form we are asking if the client feels any pain in that place but pondering more on it we are also asking for our clients to honour their sensitivity and the fact that they have been hurt or feel hurt in some way. And if we consider that how we move our bodies and hold our bodies every day which can be heavily influenced by our emotional state of being, then we when we ask this question we are really asking them to explore a lot more than just physical pain.

198. I feel when we are held in tenderness, we are reminded of how we were as young children – open, aware, sensitive, unencumbered by the pressures and ideals and beliefs of human life.

     1. Absolutely Andrew – just by their presence children are constantly reminding us of what we have forgotten – how to just be our ourselves.

     2. Yes. And for me the sign of a true man is one who can hold himself in that tenderness. That is the key – doing it for ourselves, all of the time. Rather than relying on moments from other people.

199. This blog is an amazing testimony to the power of tenderness in medicine. As a health care professional myself I have been blown away at just how healing it is to hold my clients in tenderness. They feel held and met as equals and truly seen for who they are and I have often witnessed lifetimes of hardness, protection, mistrust and suspicion melt away in front of me simply because I allowed the natural tenderness that is in me to be there in the room.

200. Another behaviour that blocks my tenderness I have discovered is going for any kind of outcome. If I have a picture in my head of how I want something to turn out and I push to get there, or if I can feel that someone else wants me to do something in a certain way for them, my natural tenderness is over-ridden by a tense hardness and agitation. I have been playful recently with myself with this by telling myself that the only desired outcome in every moment is that I honour my natural tenderness! And then just let everything else unfold as it will…

     1. And what a beautiful game to play ‘honouring our natural tenderness’. Love it – thanks for this great tip Andrew.

     2. This is lovely Andrew, ‘I have been playful recently with myself with this by telling myself that the only desired outcome in every moment is that I honour my natural tenderness!’ Thanks for the great idea.

     3. Being playful is such a key to tenderness, whether with ourselves,our kids or anyone and something I sometimes forget as an adult, that it is as natural as tenderness itself. Kids are naturally playful and it is a thing we can easily lose if we are not careful but it is also just as easy to regain as we never truly lose it.

     4. That’s a good one andrewmooney26 I like that “I have been playful recently with myself with this by telling myself that the only desired outcome in every moment is that I honour my natural tenderness! And then just let everything else unfold as it will…” that really takes the pressure of and puts the focus where it belongs consciously being present and tender with ourselves.

201. I know for me that trying is one of the things that stops my tenderness. Whenever I try hard to do something I go hard in my body. And yet trying hard is one of the things we frequently are told to do as children as if it is a good thing.

202. “I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.” Allowing ourselves the space to care and be tender is within us already it is only when we go into the momentums of living so fast paced as society is today that we disconnect from that natural way of being. These pictures of success and ideals that we hold are what stop us from surrendering to that which we already are. The divine preciousness that resides within.

     1. This same quote stood out for me today Kelly, and I asked myself do I care for myself as I would a new-born baby, do I allow myself to be in my tenderness and innocence? It feels a great support for my body to look at this and surrender to whatever comes up, to get to what it is in me that holds me back from naturally being me.

     2. I found myself last night really needing to be deeply caring for me and I was unable to connect to part of me to do that. The tension was not nice at all. I saw the limitation, and could not put my finger on what it is/was, and then I do go about putting myself to bed with as much love and care that I could muster. It is interesting to observe how hard it can be to care for ourselves at times.

     3. That’s a good point kellyzarb treading ourselves as tenderly as we would treat a new born baby that hit home with me too. That is a great marker I often use with myself although I must admit I rarely treat myself with that level of tenderness. I know with my own babies how tenderly I nurtured them but as they grew older the tenderness dropped off as I think I was toughing them up preparing them for the world I felt they needed protection from. I now understand that the divine tender precious innocence they were born with was all they really needed to protect them and I dint need to toughen them up as I had done with myself.

        1. Margaret, I can really identify with these words; and I am sure that every parent can: “I know with my own babies how tenderly I nurtured them but as they grew older the tenderness dropped off as I think I was toughing them up preparing them for the world I felt they needed protection from.”

           More significantly we must not judge ourselves, just honour our acceptance.

        2. Great point – honouring and accepting ourselves is key along with appreciating and claiming what we do bring not only our children but humanity as well.

203. You make the great point Judy that all our choices of how we look after ourselves right down to the food and drink we choose everyday and the rush or ease with which we move, accumulate to build either illness or a great quality of life. It is both empowering and humbling to understand that we are all equipped to simply be and live all that we are capable of and there is actually no excuse not to.

     1. This is the point Simon. It is our choices. Therefore we have the power to make the changes. This is such a huge shift for most of us, who have spent our lives willingly at the mercy of others. Which then renders us feeling powerless should we ever contemplate the idea of making changes. The one who outwardly seeks the solution is forever lost – as all the answers lie within. As you say – empowering and humbling. Are we able to fully accept that responsibility?

204. What have we come to as a society, when we have lost all respect for ourselves and one another? Have we really evolved or do we have our heads buried in the sand pretending?

205. When you mention the word ‘respectful’ that jumped out at me, there is a lack of respect for one another within families, friendships, relationships, and society. To be met with absolute true respect is a huge marker for the body. A respect we all at a minimum deserve, unequivocally from ourselves and everybody.

206. l love it when l see this myth blown out of the water…”I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” l see teachers do this and nurses and my family is big on working till you drop. lt doesn’t make sense to do this if one values longevity. We don’t push a car that has run out fuel any further to get the job done. However we arrogantly take those sort of liberties with our bodies. There will be consequences in such cases.

     1. The car analogy is strong. Far from pushing a car when it runs out of fuel, many of us actually take far better care of our cars than we do of our bodies. Regular servicing and check-ups etc. And a car is replaceable! Our bodies are not. But it is deeper than that. A car is a machine that will do what we say. Press the accelerator, you go faster. Our bodies however are divine creations that, if we allow and listen, can teach, talk and inspire us. Our bodies are our leaders, our lighthouses, our wisdom and our truth. Imagine if cars did all of that!!! Yet still we take better care of our cars.

207. Its interesting Elizabeth what you are describing, when we and more connected and tender with our self’s and work in a consistent way we actually get more tasks completed I the day, honoring our bodies rhythm and going to bed early when we are tied, rather that going into pushing and driving ourselves when we work which exhausts us and then leads to further abuse with foods and drinks that further harm and deplete our bodies.

208. What I love about this blog Judy is the honesty and that is a continual choice. To either go into a way of being that is less of who we are and in this an automatic hardness arises in the over ride. Or as you shared letting your natural tenderness be our foundation and life is much different from here.

209. Thanks Judy, Its funny how many of us hardened ourselves in an act of protection, using drive, disregard and they way the world is as an excuse. A far cry from the tender, gentle and sensitive babies we were born as. But when we make the choice to connect to our stillness and gentleness, its like we walk into a different realm ,this realm is always there for all to enjoy with much space available.Curtis Benhayon is a great refection of this strength and power through movement in gentleness and conscious presence. What a reflection we all are when we choose to also move like this.

210. Everyone should have at least one session in their lives with Curtis Benhayon…. Yes I know that would take a few lifetimes !!! … but Curtis embodies such delicacy , respect and tenderness, that always redefines for every recipient, what touch can truly feel like , and the deep and abiding tenderness that is possible in a man.

     1. Beautifully said Chris, I absolutely love the sessions with Curtis, he is the embodiment of tenderness and gentleness and his integrity is like no other. My body has been extremely hard and driven in the past, but my body now melts with a session with Curtis.

        1. I agree 100% Chris. And those that have had a session with Curtis Benhayon then have a deep responsibility to live that inspiration daily. Ignorance is no longer an acceptable excuse!

211. When we come back to our tenderness the space that develops all around us is exquisite. I have just spent two days being in drive to get so much done and achieved during some time off – it felt terrible! It is a hard habit and behaviour to arrest and I am simply so grateful that when I fall back into those patterns, I can clock it and know that it does not have to be like this. I am deeply appreciative to myself to embrace now in my life, sessions with esoteric practitioners, such as Curtis and presentations from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to support to keep knowing how I can live with space, grace and tenderness.

212. I am also struck by Curtis’ tenderness – male or female – I have not witnessed such tenderness before. One time in a session, when he laid a cover over me, it felt like the smoothest, softest silk in the world. When I enquired after, it was a towel. Amazing.

213. “I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” This is so true of me and l had to prove that l wasn’t a vulnerable female to others in my life. l hardened up over the years to show that l was ‘strong and capable’ and not a ‘fragile flower’. All ideals and beliefs that steered me away from, the true, tender, delicate, being that l am.

     1. Irena what really stood out for me in this line is “regardless of my physicality” in that we put so much emphasis on performing that what we do and doing whatever needs to be done comes at the expense of ourselves and the quality we are. That does not mean we do nothing, however what I feel this means is that its the quality and care we take in what we do that has to be the focus and then everything will be completed as needed.

214. Judy this is a beautiful sharing and honouring of how deeply tender men truly are. The more I appreciate this quality in men I more I see it reflected everywhere. This tenderness in men when deeply felt supports me to also let go of any hardness or protection I may be carrying.

215. ‘‘Time’ is something I have always fought all my life, since there never seemed enough of it to complete all the things I needed to do.’
     I’ve never really had an issue with time but never enjoyed it – it was either going too slow for me or too fast and I never really committed to doing a lot. Now that I have much to do I am starting to feel this ‘lack of time’ thing more and more. Funny thing and what has been exposed recently is that I still find time to distract, numb, or choose comfort over the things that are there to do. Like excess food, daydreaming, movies etc. So really, time is not the issue, it’s what I’m doing with it that needs redefining.

     1. Appreciate your honesty here Rachael. Crazy to have an issue with time, or to fight it, because no matter what you do, time isn’t going to change – it is a constant. But what can change is space – the space that we have in the day is very, very variable.

216. Tenderness can seem like a far-off dream, a mythical thing when you look at our world. We all seem to suffer with this ball and chain of Time we bring to life. But from your words Judy I can feel that tenderness lives in the little noticings, the slightest way we contract our back. Tenderness here feels like the biggest hug saying ‘hey there’s really no need to live this way’.

     1. That’s lovely Joseph, ‘tenderness here feels like the biggest hug …’ with this sentence, I can deeply feel the love and tenderness that is available and is innately our expression. The hardness falls away, and I can go to a place where I can hold myself like a new-born baby. Thank you.

217. Men do try and ‘live up to’ what we think women want and to be honest, it creates such a false start to any relationship. No wonder so many relationships struggle as trying to maintain the image or ideal from both sides is exhausting. There is no room for qualities such as tenderness when you are living on the back foot and living with ideals.

     1. I have recently been bringing more tenderness to many of my relationships. The problem is that this was not what I presented when the relationship first started. So now there is this shift that has to happen. Most of the time, it is a gorgeous process. Though in some cases, there is a reaction. This is both my responsibility for bringing a false version of me to the relationship when it started…and also their discomfort at what my tenderness brings up in them.

218. I never met someone so consistently loving and committed to the development of the whole of humanity, it is magic to be inspired by this work.

219. I have never had a session with Curtis but after reading this blog I feel to do so

     1. Joe the tenderness felt in the sessions from Curtis are an inspiration as to what is possible for men to live, it shows me that true power and tenderness go hand in hand.

220. We do not know how tightly we hold our body until we are shown another way. So comfortable do we become in the rigid prison of a posture that has moulded itself on protection and not love.

     1. And in this protective mode, we initiate the physical diseases that affect the human body. The signs and symptoms may not be evident, but the adjustments that are made send energetic signals that alter our natural harmonious movement and the consequences are in the statistics of illness and disease.

     2. Very well said Adam – I never realised how ‘racy’ I was in my movements until seeing Curtis Benhayon and witnessing his approach to tender movements. At first it was really uncomfortable and I wanted him to hurry up! By the end I could see the blessing and lesson that was offered and my body was very appreciative.

     3. This is so true Adam. Holding ourselves in this way feels like the norm until someone else reflects there is another way to be. Curtis Benhayon is a reflection to us all on what happens when we make tenderness our way of being.

     4. Very true Adam, I remember hugging Miranda about 8 years ago and in that simple gesture I realized how extremely hard my body was, before this moment I had no idea as I was in a delusion that I was a gentle woman. I was horrified when I let myself really feel how tightly I was holding my body. This reflection, when I got through the shock, was the beginning of me seeing how I actually was (built like a tank) and from this one hug, a huge transformation took place over the years where I am the delicate woman I am today

221. We can be offered all the tenderness and love in the world but it is still our choice to say yes or no to it.

222. What an amazing session you had with Curtis Judy. This sentence sums it all up really, very inspiring thank you;
     “I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live – it is simply an ongoing choice”.

223. One of the things that Curtis Benhayon has really shown me through way of example is how to be ever so tender and gentle with my massage clients. I have been a massage therapist for almost 20 years and when I received my first massage from Curtis, I was really aware of how he placed the towels on me, how he was so respectful of my body, how he was very present with every move and didn’t feel rushed.. I took notes and now use all what I have learnt from him in my own massage sessions. There were many things that I questioned, as in, why was I not taught these basic principles when I learnt massage in the first place.

224. I never used to realise how strong my false ideals and beliefs influenced my decisions on how I lived, until starting to let them go was like a release from a prison I didn’t know I was in. Then we see things like the tenderness in men we never even knew we hadn’t known.

     1. I agree gillrandall I also made the experience that letting go of false ideals and beliefs release me from a prison. In the moment I identified such a false ideal or believe simplicity and joy came back into my life immediately.

225. The tenderness of Curtis Benhayon is truly inspiring and inspiration for all men to aspire to.

     1. Absolutely Jonathan – Curtis Benhayon makes tenderness look totally cool! There is nothing weak or meek about this guy, he oozes smoothness and flow that communicates what true men are made of – tenderness and sensitivity in action.

226. I too have had sessions with Curtis and I agree he is a true ‘gentle-man’ or really we should call him a tender-man! He holds such a depth of tenderness that it is very difficult to not melt and feel at least a degree of that same tenderness within yourself. And this alone is the blessing – we get to feel that the same tenderness we see and feel in him, is also found within us too, it is simply a matter of us allowing that to come out in our expression in other words the way we move, the way we talk, the way we are.

227. My body loves tenderness, I can feel the difference straight away. And it is only a choice away…

228. A beautiful blog to come back to Judy, to ponder on ideals, beliefs, expectations and images that hold us back from expressing our true glory. On the other hand a reminder to appreciate and claim our full power, tenderness and glory; as you have done Judy.
     I love what you have expressed about Curtis Benhayon, I agree wholeheartedly.

229. Seeing the tenderness in men for the first time left me floundering because it broke down a lot of the frameworks I lived by. This of course was a great thing to happen since there was then an opportunity to question so many of the stereotypes that I lived by without question. Like you, Judy, the impact on me has been huge, and I am still de-constructing many pre-conceptions and ideals about gender. With men’s tenderness as part of my reality I cannot go into battle or competition with them, which is brilliant.

     1. Thank you for your honesty Matilda, women also hold or at times even need to see men to be in the false rough ‘n’ tough roles, so as women they can stay in their hard and driven ways and not have to move into the power of their sacred femininity, when men move into their tender, gentle natural way of being, it can be confronting for women as it shows what they are avoiding in themselves.

230. The ‘Benhayon’s’ have changed the way in which I ‘look’ and ‘feel’ about men and women. All the ‘Benhayon’s’ have removed the goal posts and set a place in history on how we can reconnect to our loving tender natural self through being self-loving and self nurturing first. To be self-nurturing and self-loving is a great way to start the ball rolling. The humble tenderness is so easily felt in the bodywork by Curtis Benhayon!

231. Working with men and relating to them in terms of the Esoteric body work, it is very confirming to feel how when met with tenderness the tough image falls away so easily and their true essence and sensitivity returns. Dis-arming a man is so simple when he feels no affront of competition and having to prove himself in any way.

     1. Very true Simon, as I connect more and more to my own tenderness and gentleness, I start to see it in all the men I meet, however tough, hard or protected they appear on the thin layer of protection on the outside.

232. So many of us live by this crazy push you speak of Judy , even when the disastrous results are so obviously reflected in the illness and disease we suffer and accept as part of our current existence. And yet the ‘cure’ is so simple – to live harmoniously and healthily! But for me, I first I had to discover what that truly meant and realise that I was way off track. Sacred Esoteric Healing was instrumental in the way of bringing me back to tenderness and delicateness in my body, and to begin to live without stress in my life.

233. ‘Within this new walking posture I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice.’ I completely agree Judy it is an ongoing choice and I can feel when I go against my own tenderness by pushing myself and making time an issue. My body feels terrible afterwards and what for, for the recognition for the illusion to get things done.
     Connecting and allowing myself to feel my tender nature by staying with my body, my movements, appreciating this is the way to go, an ongoing choice.

234. The amazing love and tenderness you felt and received through you session with Curtis was just beautiful. Great to be able to feel the effects this had, on your body as you were walking.

     1. Absolutely Jill, walking in this way is “True Movement.”

235. The Deep appreciation to Curtis Benhayon and to Universal Medicine in this blog is simply beautiful to read feel and appreciate that i feel also and relate to so much. Curtis is a man amongst men of true tenderness and depth beyond anything felt in the world outside of Universal Medicine and a role model for humanity of who we really are and what we come from and know inside us deeply. The honouring and love felt from his livingness is a real reflection and inspiration for us all and is deeply touching for everyone to feel and know.

236. You have offered so much here Judy. One of the things that I have found while working is when I let go of the pressure complete things I end up having the time I need and complete what’s needed anyway. It’s like the pressure we put on ourselves affects how we perceive ‘time’ and when we reduce that pressure that changes.

237. I love feeling how you learned to claim yourself and love more through changing your postures and movements. It shows it is all about energy and movements and postures are very important in how we live

     1. Who would have ‘thought’ that the way we move influences the thoughts that enter our mind.

        1. Ha, so true Jennifer, this blog confirms the importance of movement and how we confirm everything in the body whether we realise it or not. I have been learning that changing my posture at the computer hugely affects my ‘thought’ process and how I feel. Thank you Judy.

        2. Well said Jennifer.

        3. Incredible Jennifer isn’t it, that? ‘the way we move influences the thoughts that enter our mind.’

     2. This is true Joshua, we get caught in trying to change our thoughts with affirmations and positive thinking but the only way to truly change is through the body and in that the quality in which we move.

        1. This understanding turns modern day physiology and mental health on its head .. literally!

238. When I had my first Esoteric healing session with Curtis Benhayon, I had never felt such tenderness and love before, and I felt a deep sense of my own woman’s body and my own love. That a young man could live that stillness and gentleness and love inside himself so that I could feel it through all of my being I found to be incredible at the time, but after years of experiencing many presentations from Serge Benhayon, and other practitioners. I now know there is one source of energy if we choose it, and that is Love, rather than the other sort of energy, which is abusive, which you describe as aligning to for much of your life Judy. Curtis Benhayon makes this choice of Love, lives it and brings that to us in Esoteric Body Work Sessions. I love his sessions and his simplicity too.

239. I also had this belief about work, not so much that I had to be tired to show I’m a hard worker but rather if I’m tired this is completely normal because I worked hard. More then allowing myself adequate rest and recovery time I also learnt I needed to nurture myself with wholesome activities.

     Let me explain what I mean by wholesome activities.
     (please note these events are specific to me and other activities can work for different people)

     – Making space to complete tasks
     – Allowing myself to write clearly
     – Allowing myself the space to express clearly
     – Open myself up to people making an effort to engage and interact (breaking the initial barrier I may feel).

     Of course there is more but that is all I’m going to write for now 😛

     1. Love this, Luke, and can relate to your description of the traditional ‘hard work’ ethic. The feeling of quality and spaciousness is so lovely in the new approach to your daily tasks, and everything can be done with the same care no matter of its seeming importance.

        1. Thank you Janet for Allowing moments to re-connect to my body, pause to feel how I feel and walk in a way that confirms me, are all little ways that support me to work in a way that is consistent and doesn’t exhaust and drain me.

        2. This is where the bubble of getting things done gets popped. In the end it is about quality.

           Because ‘in the end’ when life because about ticking the box the question arises… What for?

240. Judy – it is indeed in ideal to think that men are ‘strong’ and ‘tough’ when they have so much tenderness to offer. And I too have experienced in my sessions with Curtis, the reflection of a man who is so absolutely tender and still with every movement. It is just beautiful to feel and drop the misconception that all men are rough and tough. In fact, they are so sensitive at heart.

241. It’s beautiful to feel a new generation of men expressing themselves with such tenderness to set the new normal for men to find their own tenderness too.

     1. It’s very beautiful indeed Gill. Because of this I see more and more the tenderness that is there in every man, even though they may not be living it.

     2. Absolutely Gill, and I appreciate how men can inspire us women to become more tender too. Curtis Benhayon is such an inspiration for men and women equally.

     3. Yes grillrandall that is very beautiful and I am looking forward to what will happen to us women – how will we be if all men be more tender???? That will be a great reflection for us too.

     4. I agree Gill it is beautiful. Having men in my life who are tender and respectful of women has had the knock on effect of being able to see that same tenderness in other men, say at work and seeing that they are also very sensitive underneath the bravado.

242. The way I hold my body has changed. What I notice is that the old configuration wants to sneak back in. I have to chose in every moment not to collapse my spine every so slightly as if I do in come the old thoughts of not being enough. If I stand with my vertebra in line, the quality of my thoughts are totally different.

     1. Amazing how a small, subtle movement can let old patterns creep in – a good thing to watch our for, thank you, Mary-Louise.

     2. Amazing science marylouisemyers. Thank you for sharing

     3. I love the simplicity of what you shared Mary-Louise, the way we stand and more effects how we feel and perceive ourselves and how other people see and perceive us, so is it possible that the way we more either inspires another to moves and stand in a way that supports them to be strong and empowered, or confirms to them that living in a way that is hiding, playing small or less than who they are is normal and OK?

     4. Thank you for sharing Mary-Louise, it is what I have noticed too. When I do not support my body posture through my spine thoughts of not being enough can easily enter.

     5. This is an amazing observation and awareness Mary-Louise, ‘I have to chose in every moment not to collapse my spine every so slightly as if I do in come the old thoughts of not being enough. If I stand with my vertebra in line, the quality of my thoughts are totally different.’ Thank you for sharing, I will explore this for myself.

        1. Hi Lorraine this awareness is actually having a huge impact on the quality of my thoughts the more I focus with my true posture. So yes explore it for yourself, yours might be a different holding pattern in another part of your body. I am also becoming aware of a tightness I hold in my pelvic floor area and am experimenting with letting this go and surrendering more into my legs.

243. Thank you Judy for sharing your realisations about the life you lived with so much stress and tension always pushing through. This is a life that I see many people living and I have lived myself too. Now having stepped out of that I am starting to see the ridiculousness of living in such a tensed way when it actually does not need to be that way. We all together found the world we are living in, that is we create the rules, the deadlines, plannings etc. We see all others around us living in that same manner and do not question it until someone like Curtis Benhayon comes along and shows another way. I have been deeply inspired by Curtis and other practitioners of Universal Medicine as well to live more tenderly with myself, but also that the way my life is, is always because of my choices and not by any chance. This is important to see, as I see it, if we all choose to live more tenderly with ourselves this stress really does not need to be there as we ourselves create the society we live in.

244. Curtis Benhayon is a deeply sensitive, wise and exquisitely tender man, a true role model for all men.

     1. Very true, he sure is all that. His reflection radiates tenderness.

     2. And, I would say, for all women…because we all have that exquisite tenderness inside of us and all of us crave both living that way, and being met by others who live that way. What Curtis reflects in his every move is game-changing for the whole of humanity.

        1. I agree Otto the exquisite tenderness and delicateness that Curtis Benhayon moves with and expresses is streaks ahead of all women (bar a few) so yes the whole of humanity benefits from what Curtis reflects.

        2. What I am now seeing is how universal tenderness is. It is a natural expression of each of us, irrespective of our gender. It is a place of immense healing and a gateway through which we can all reconnect with God. There is a whole book to be written on it! Yet for most, it is just a something that you might do for a few seconds, perhaps with a pet, or a baby, or when someone was feeling ill…? Humanity badly needs to re-claim, polish and deeply commit to the golden keys of tenderness.

     3. Curtis supported me too to regain trust in men and like you have shown me that all men can be this way too. I so love this man.

     4. Hear hear Mary-Louise Curtis is a gorgeous and wise young man he ‘is a deeply sensitive, wise and exquisitely tender man, a true role model for all men.’ He has helped restore my trust in men and humanity, he is truly divine.

245. Recognition is so high on our list of needs that we are willing to push and ignore our bodies to get it. Such need for recognition is very exposing of how we miss our own natural fullness, – that we are run by the hurt of not having been known, met and raised according to this completeness.

     1. Yes Rosanna so true, half the time we don’t even realise that this is what is driving us through life, desperate to be accepted and recognised for something because believing that we are simply not enough from a young age that as feed this belief. With no fault of anyone’s and generations after generations of not being brought up to appreciate, celebrate and know that who we are and the unique qualities that we bring is more than enough – that it is actually everything that we will ever need and then some. It is time we start embracing each other for who we are and not what we do. Universal Medicine teaches just that and it has changed everything in my life. Meeting myself and others for who we are is really what it is about.

        1. I love what you are both sharing Natalie and Rosanna. I have only recently realised how imbedded my need for recognition and acceptance has been and the things I have done and have continued to do to attempt to get it. It’s time to let go of this now for I am not what I do.

        2. Love it, here’s your appreciation and celebration in itself Natalie!…”With no fault of anyone’s and generations after generations of not being brought up to appreciate, celebrate and know that who we are and the unique qualities that we bring is more than enough – that it is actually everything that we will ever need and then some.”

        3. Natalie, a key point you mention here is that it has been ‘generations after generations of not being brought up to appreciate, celebrate and know who we are is more than enough.’ It’s not just this lifetime or our parents we can blame – we humans have been living in a loveless way for centuries. And now we have an opportunity to change – not through any great technological development, but simply through being naturally tender.

        4. Spot on Natalie, we frequently are unaware of being driven by our need for acceptance and recognition simply because of the underlying belief that we are not enough. If only we had been brought up to appreciate and celebrate our unique qualities and amazingness then how different would we be in the world.

     2. Absolutely Rosanna – This need for recognition is a moving target, once we are satisfied with one area we move to the next, it is an endless cycle of trying to get somewhere when it is in fact so far from who we are.

        1. Well said Hannah “This need for recognition is a moving target…..an endless cycle” which takes us on a long and winding road towards an illusionary destination.

     3. We are so driven by this need for recognition Rosanna, and everything is set up to perpetuate this around us, reinforcing the false picture and idea that we are not enough, complete and amazing already, exactly as we are, with no need to improve or better ourselves and our lifes.

        1. Wow Thomas, that’s a strong belief isn’t it?…that we have to ‘better ourselves’. How many of us believe that this is what life is about? It is a belief that can be put aside when we connect to something far grander than anything this world can offer us. There is no ‘better’ in that connection, it is complete equalness.

        2. This is a horrible trap that I had previously bought into, the belief that we are not enough and have to be better, it keeps us seeking ways to be better instead of knowing, accepting, and celebrating that we are already enough, are amazingly powerful and beautiful beings.

     4. So true Rosanna – I still catch myself sometimes, that I went for recognition. It doesn’t feel right and it is so exhausting. I’m on my way to renounce this need for recognition.

246. As a man I am still re-discovering the depths of my sensitivity and tenderness and just how many ideals and beliefs that I have signed up to around what it means to be a man.

     1. It like that wording Andrew, what we “have signed up to”, for it is a bit like a contract we signed back when we were little, that we are boys, we must act tough. Being gentle and tender is a natural act yet I can still feel that belief that it might make me look weak to show it. This is a strong barrier all men have to overcome, a made up ideal that is of course complete nonsense.

        1. Andrew and Stephen thank you for sharing, it is beautiful to be witness to men returning to their gorgeous tenderness and sensitivity. As women we have bought into the same pictures about men and it is as much for us to let go and dare to see men for who they truly are.

        2. It is exactly like that Stephen, we men have subscribed to a contract, picture or image of what being a man looks like, yet ordinarily none of us question or examine precisely what we have signed up to and if in fact it is true and inline with the tender caring beings we are. We wouldn’t sign an employment agreement without seeing it was true and truly honor us.

     2. It’s incredible that you can share this so openly Andrew. Most men believe that a fundamental attribute of being a man is to be ‘tough’ and not show sensitivity, when I’d say that showing sensitivity is a much greater sign of strength (being able to share how you feel) than perfecting a ‘macho’ outer image.

        1. Thank you Susie. It does feel amazing as a man when women allow and truly support men to be as they naturally are. I have come to the conclusion that the ‘tough macho image’ or the ‘intelligent headstrong image’ or the ‘breadwinner image’ or any of the other thousands of roles that men take on are actually forms of protection or guard which exist because men actually do feel ‘weak’ and unable to cope with the world. They are clever strategies to survive and make life look ok. When I have connected to my innate sensitivity and tenderness I feel an inner strength or resilience and an ability to observe the world that stops the survival mode and therefore the need for my protection and roles is gradually falling away.

        2. Exactly Andrew. This is what is so crazy. I have spent my life trying to be strong and all of that stuff. Yet what I am finding now is that when I deeply connect to my tenderness…it comes with an amazing strength as well – far greater than any ‘strengths’ that I have tried to previously live. The point is that there is nothing stronger than being exactly who we absolutely are…and I absolutely am a deliciously tender man.

     3. Your honest sharing is beautiful and much appreciated Andrew. A true blessing for all, both males and females, who read this.

247. I have also experienced an amazing amount of tenderness. understanding and wisdom during sessions with Curtis Benhayon. He is a great practitioner and a great man.

     1. Curtis is an amazing man who beautifully reflects tenderness. During his sessions you really get to understand the true meaning of tenderness with the wisdom he shared.

     2. I echo that Andrew, Curtis Benhayon is amazing in many ways, his tenderness is way beyond what I had previously experienced in my life, and his wisdom and understanding is incredible. A gorgeous man in all respects.

     3. Curtis is really a role model for men – tender, delicate, fragile and so on. He can reflect to other men, that tenderness is not a weakness, it is the opposite, it is a strength.

248. An analogy that can be extrapolated out to the whole body – not just the nails. Move with tenderness and the ‘paint’ will shine brightly forever.

     1. And we get to all enjoy the loveliness of that brilliance.

     2. Spot on Otto – moving with tenderness brings out our inner brilliance to be shared with all.

249. One of the ways I know how tender I am with myself is my nail polish. It stays on much longer, without pieces being chipped off, if I am delicate with myself. Whenever I move rough or abrupt the nail polish is damaged quickly, reflecting how I have been with myself.

     1. Monika I love this reflection. I so agree it is a great reflector of how tender I am or not being with myself. I remember one week being astounded by the varnish staying on even without a top protective layer but not putting 2 and 2 together. How funny that I have seeked to get the hardest, toughest top coat to protect the varnish with rather than being deeply tender.

        1. That is a gorgeous conclusion and quote: tenderness is the best and cheapest top coat ever.

     2. Yes Monika I love your comment shared. I actually stopped wearing nail polish to work for sometime because it would get chipped so quickly, which was a great opportunity to see where I was with my own connection too. I now wear it as a beautiful way to see how delicate I can be with my hands. I also love the process of applying nail polish and the stillness I have when applying it is lovely to feel.

        1. I love the process of polishing too, Kelly. It doesn’t work when I am not still. And I enjoy and appreciate the reflection of the stillness on my nails every day after I have put nail polish on.

     3. I don’t have nail polish to know how tender I have been, though this is a great tool! but I can feel it in my body – the cumulative effect during the day – either way – is quite strong.

        1. You probably feel in your fingertips as well and by the way you move?

     4. Thank you for sharing this Monika – I love the obviousness of nail polish and the reflection it offer, in application and wear/tear.

250. I love watching Curtis and Michael Benhayon move; the way they dance and walk is totally inspiring! The freedom in their movements and flow in their steps are communicating the quality in which they live. Not bound by ideals or beliefs of what a man, father or son needs to look like – but a true movement that allows them to express all they are in every way.

     1. I agree Rachel, they have both been great inspirations and examples to me of how to be a real man in world today largely free of what society imposes on men of how they should be.

     2. Yes indeed, Rachel, Michael and Curtis are redefining what it is to be a man by not holding any ideals or beliefs in their bodies about they ‘should’ be in the world. It is a joy to behold.

     3. I absolutely agree with you, Rachel, Curtis and Michael Benhayon are inspiring in all their movements. Their movements are quite amazing, their flexibility and flow is truly beautiful to watch. And what gentle men they each are, when having a healing session with either of them, they are each so very delicate in all they do, especially the deep care with which they cover me with a blanket, I have never experienced such a delicateness and caring from a man before. What an amazing inspiration they are to both men and women, great role models as to just how gentle we can all be when we are deeply connected to our innermost.

        1. Absolutely Beverly, the Benhayon men set a whole new standard to what tenderness means, yet there is nothing weak or unmanly about them, in fact the opposite, they a very strong, powerful committed men, and excellent role models for humanity.

     4. Check out Michael playing music. The way his body moves. Pure joy rippling through his every limb – such fun to watch.

        1. It is such a joy to watch Michael, when he is playing an instrument – every movement with so much tenderness. And I can actually “see” the stillness between his movements as well, it is amazing.

        2. These ‘spaces’ in his playing are so powerful. Watch any other musician and their ‘pauses’ are always for dramatic effect, to create tension, emotion, drama in the listener – to hook them in. When Michael ‘pauses’ it is an invitation to all to feel themselves and the space that he is offering. Totally and utterly different. Fascinating and brilliant.

     5. Absolutely Rachel. I would say poetry in motion but I have not read poetry with the tenderness and depth to compare to these men.

     6. Yes I totally agree Rachael, so inspiring to see true movement in motion

     7. I enjoy watching Michael and Curtis move with such freedom, especially in their hips. It’s totally inspiring especially when so many other bodies are literally seizing up over time.

     8. Very true Rachael and the joy expressed in every movement is very contagious, it is always very inspiring to see them together and be themselves.

     9. Yes, I love watching the Benhayon men move, and watching Michael play the keyboard is divine.

251. Tenderness is a language that our bodies are totally fluent in, but we hold ourselves back from expressing this to each other and ourselves by making our hurts and protections more important. By moving in a way that allows this tenderness and grace to come through, we move beyond the binds of our hurts and into the flow of being one with all.

     1. ‘Tenderness is a language that our bodies are totally fluent in’ …. and when we resist the tenderness, that we naturally are, it’s no coincidence that our bodies become ‘hard’, the complete opposite to our true quality.

        1. It makes absolute sense when we look at it this way… that we have to pull in an opposing force (ie hardness) in order to resist the natural tenderness we truly are.

        2. That makes so much sense, i had become so hard in my body over the last 15 yrs avoiding tenderness. It is just in the last few years i have started to allow myself to feel the tenderness and precious I can be. It is a beautiful feeling. My becoming hard was a way to protect myself from getting hurt.

        3.  What a joy when we begin to feel what tenderness truly is. The science of tenderness for health and well being is only beginning be discovered.

     2. Beautifully shared, thank you Rachel. It really is this simple and comes back to the responsibility we have in the choices we make.

     3. Thank you, Rachael, we are not brought up knowing that tenderness is our natural way, and may think it is something we have to ‘do’ when allowing it to come through as we move feels both simple and beautiful.

     4. Rachel I am inspired by this comment as it’s so true. Thank you for reminding us that it’s in the way we move …

     5. Rachael I love your comment – it flows in the tenderness that it expresses. I feel this tenderness and can live it in greater depth from reading this. Thank you.

     6. l love what you state here Rachael and this is because for me l have also been deceived into feeling,”I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.” A great revelation for me.

     7. Yes, beautifully expressed Rachel. And I guess, because tenderness is our natural expression, to stop and surrender to this means feeling how much disregard and further hurts we have inflicted on ourselves, which creates us to perpetuate the drive to not feel it all. It’s hard to stop and take stock of it all, but oh so very very worth it.

     8. Gosh Rachael. Just reading this words melts my body. And to truly accept and embody the fact that tenderness is our body’s natural tongue is the deepest of blessings.

     9. “Tenderness is a language that our bodies are totally fluent in”. This is beautiful Rachael and it is ridiculous that we hold this tenderness back.

     10. Beautifully said Rachael, tenderness is indeed a universal language that everyone responds well to as it allows an opportunity for us to drop our protection and be at one with each other.

     11. Beautifully said Rachel ‘ Tenderness is a language that our bodies are totally fluent in’
         We are so very naturally tender, in fact to be harsh and driven takes more effort, and from my experience, is far less fruitful.

     12. Thank you Rachael – you have opened up a whole new dimension and understanding of the true meaning of body language. Tenderness is the missing link.

     13. Beautifully said, Rachel. And I can see how there has been much trying that got in the way of that innateness to be expressed. It really is a hard work, then again I used to think life was hard and that was the way of the world and I kept trying harder. It was unthinkable that I never had to try in the first place, I just had to allow myself to just be and surrender.

     14. Very important point Rachael – “we hold ourselves back from expressing this to each other.” It makes so much sense to be intimate with each other, not only with ourselves.

252. When we move in a way that is true to the being we are; ideal and beliefs can dissolve like snow, the veil is lifted and we can clearly see our potential and purpose in life.

253. Judy, I felt to read your blog again today as there is just so much in it. I too am coming to realise the amount of drive I have been putting my body in until recently when my body has spoken loudly to me that I need to stop and re-evaluate how I am with myself to a whole new level. I have realised that I haven’t been allowing true rest for my body, there is always a level of anxiety running me and never really a true stop and gift to deeply rest. I am now taking these moments and it really challenges me. Everything says, no Anna, get up, go and do this….its crazy. BUT, I am allowing the rest. I am turning my phone off at night, shutting down the computer, saying no, and my body is on the slow catch up to healing. It is thanking me. Thank you for your blog. I have found it very supportive.

     1. I have loved being the one that ‘can take it all on’ – like the Duracell rabbit, super reliable and always the last standing. This is an ill-reflection to the world about responsibility and self-care and a mountain of disregard for me. Recently I have realised how the same attention I give to an ‘important’ task can and needs to be given to rest. It is amazing to feel this as I spot the moments in a day or when I go to bed that my focus and care is turned to rest and sleep and how much this changes the quality of that rest or sleep.

        1. Your words are spot on here Matilda. I am these days just starting to really honour rest time and it feels amazing.

254. Beverley your description just melted me, I could feel the healing you received from this tender man Curtis and it was deeply felt. Very beautiful!

255. So true Otto we are a divine brotherhood and we all know the truth, for it lives within as beautifully and tenderly reflected from Curtis in his living way.

256. Reading your blog Judy I was able to appreciate how far I have come. I used to push through anything. I would set myself a task and not stop until it was complete. And I would set impossible tasks and lists of things to do. I was forever focussed on achieving what I set out. This is a far cry from where I am today. I still can go into drive but for the most part I do things as they arise and there is a flow to my days and my life. I also now work more than I ever have yet I don’t feel tired (when I do I rest) or rushed (unless I choose that). I am amazed at what is possible in life when wed drop the drive and the push.

257. Curtis shows us the strength of tenderness and the courage to be a real natural man that we all are when we drop the false tough ideal of how a man should be that has left men at odds with their feelings.

258. Men are naturally tender and so are women. Is it then not silly that we make our men to not be this and then the women are trying to be like the men? We have turned our natural expression upside down and outside in. I have a huge appreciation for all the students of The Way of the Livingness that are restoring true expression of both men and women, allowing their tenderness, sensitivity and delicateness and so offer the world a reflection of who we truly are.

259. It is a very strong belief that to be succesfull you need to work really hard, being busy all the time and that the only way to move through life is to push. But what has this created? A lot of illness and disease.

260. I remember in my early sessions with Curtis Benhayon how I struggled to receive the level of tenderness offered. I was not used to such tenderness, and I could feel that my whole body was rejecting it. My most recent session with Curtis was quite different. I was able to be fully present and simply be with him and his tenderness. Why? Because I am now more tender with myself in my life and it didn’t feel so foreign. It was a great marker.

261. Beautiful Nicole, and it is true, we still have those innate qualities underneath all the trashing, recklessness and abuse we have perpetrated on our bodies as we grew up. Thinking we have to be tough because the world is a tough place, is a lie that we have fallen for and and as a consequence are living in an increasingly harsh and cold world full of people living that toughness, in protection and hurt. One day we will wake up and realise that life doesn’t have to be this way, and it begins with treating ourselves with love and confirming the preciousness that we all carry within.

262. Being deeply tender is a quality that in essence we all are, and it is through our connection to our Love that our tenderness is naturally lived through the way we move.

     1. Carola I agree with what you have shared ‘Being deeply tender is a quality that in essence we all are, and it is through our connection to our Love that our tenderness is naturally lived through the way we move’, and feel it’s true to add that through the way that we move, our tenderness is naturally lived and can connect us to the love that in essence we naturally are.

263. Judy this is a gorgeous appreciation of how far you have come in letting go of the ideals and beliefs that drive us to exist in a way that was far from who we truly are. The way you have claimed your tenderness through your walk is inspiring. A living testament reflecting that within us all is a ‘depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live’, and that is not only possible but a reality whenever we choose to accept the Love we are and honor our connection to our Love through how we are with our bodies.

264. When I was reading this blog I thought it was written by my housemate as she had described in such a similar way to Judy, how she observed Curtis to be so tender, much more than many women.

265. It was exactly what I needed as I read your blog again Judy – it’s amazing how we have all gone through life battling against time – and all the odds. How wonderful to find a way that allows us to feel our own innate tenderness.

266. That is great Judy and I fully agree that ‘men are naturally and deeply tender’. We really are big softies just have grown up thinking we need to act all tough and hard to fit in with society. The more we honour men and boys in their natural tenderness the more openly deeply caring men we will see. We just have to peel the layers off at times to see our exquisiteness!

267. It is beautiful to feel that we do not have to learn tenderness it is there in our bodies and all we need to do is choose it. This means, not just choosing to move in a particular way but choosing to be tender and loving as we decide how to work and how much to do in a day. To experience those who have chosen this way is deeply honouring and beautiful. That such love is but a choice away is awesome.

268. Judy I know that men are deeply tender and caring – very naturally so. It is has also been my absolute delight and joy to have had sessions with Curtis Benhayon myself and to understand the depths that this tenderness and acceptance can run to. As Felix has so wisely pointed out above (another beautiful and very tender man) we don’t have to learn being tender – it is an innate quality we all possess, but men can and are leading the way in terms of what tenderness is and means and as women we can learn much from this exquisite quality many men are so naturally in touch with.

269. When I look into a man’s eyes and feel true tenderness, it makes me melt completely. I feel an overwhelm of sadness that I have left this gorgeous state but once felt again, I am learning to reconnect to the tenderness that lies dormant still deep within. You had a very precious treatment Judy where you opened up and allowed yourself to feel all that Curtis offered you. Beautiful.

270. Curtis Benhayon is a role model for me in his way of living and being tender with himself and with others. I more and more understand that I am equally tender by nature and that it is not about being tender deliberately, but to let go of everything where I am not tender, be it in movements or thoughts.

271. Connecting to our tenderness is so beautiful to read and feel Judy . Feeling how hard we have been on ourselves and many are in the world is sad, as it is so far from the deep love and gentleness we all really know we are inside and what we really crave and want to live. Our natural beauty and stillness inside us when reflected to us is simply beautiful and inspirational to be too and it just takes commitment in our everyday livingness to being all we are.

272. As Judy explains so beautifully here, it is very easy to leave a session and go back in to old patterns of walking and moving. this shows how it is not the sessions that actually change your life, but your own willingness to make changes in the way that you move.

273. It’s so deeply touching to read all these comments from men and women of all ages from all over the world, from all different backgrounds. All inspired by one man. It makes a mockery of every rule, ideal, belief system and preconception that we put in the way of the simple fact that we are all divine brothers – who all know the truth of absolute love.

     1. Gorgeous comment Otto, and very true. You’ve reminded me of how amazing it is to read these blogs and comments and how so many have changed due to the work of Serge Benayon and Universal Medicine – one man absolutely committed to love no matter what has changed so many lives and the ripples continue out with each of us in our own lives now.

        1. ‘Tis true Monica. Though I must say that despite his majestic and total inspiration, I have chosen, many times, not to accept my responsibility in spreading this gold – and have lived in a way that didn’t express back, 24/7, everything that Serge Benhayon has shown us. Of course, we are not perfect and there are many, many Heffalump traps in our path of return. But, as you say, big tsunami-sized ripples will start to change the world if we all ‘live back’ what Serge is living for us.

     2. Here here, Otto, all divine brothers, all knowing truth and love, and Curtis is just one point of inspiration for us all to soak up and celebrate. He is leading the way.

        1. A leader I’ll gladly follow. And there are very few that I would say that about.

        2. Great comments, Monica, Otto and Anna, I agree with you all, you have each expressed so beautifully what I feel, and yes Curtis is truly an inspiration to us all, and absolutely a true leader.

274. Judy thank you for this awesome blog. I was also choosing to be in a drive therefore I love what you have shared: “This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush, or without being aware of how my body was feeling.” For me that is such an important insight and it would be great to share it with young people so that they don’t even start to be in such an unhealthy drive.

275. “When I look back at the ideals and beliefs I have grown up with, I have to shake my head; it is just not true that males are strong, brave and seem to be a lot less tender-hearted than females. Some may not show it, but men are naturally and deeply tender, which is what I recently discovered during an esoteric bodywork session.” I absolutely agree with you Judy. Men are so naturally tender and caring and it really is up to us as women to accept, embrace and encourage this in our men and appreciate everything that they bring and let go of the wont to criticize.

     1. Indeed deborahmckay, embracing, encouraging and allowing this tenderness in our young men is crucial as this is the period when they choose to go into protection.

     2. Beautifully expressed Deborah, I too grew up with ideals and beliefs around men and I have to agree that in the last few years I have come to know men as naturally and deeply tender, changing my perceptions on men and there natural ability to be delicate and tender whilst still being powerful men. In fact I have had many sessions with Curtis Benhayon and his absolute deep tenderness and love is an inspiration to both men and women alike.

276. It is truly gorgeous that from the profound awareness you came to through one session you have been not only been able to transform your walk to one that is deeply supportive for you but re-awaken an understanding of the amazing qualities you possess knowing they are only a choice away.

     1. Your comment stopped me in my scrolling Samantha. To give back to another who they are and confirm them in this is a blessing and very powerful. It also confirms us in our own essence.

277. When you feel the exquisitely deep tenderness and love of Curtis Benhayon, so much more than most of us have ever experienced, you cannot help but be changed on the deepest level.

     1. I totally agree with everything you have expressed Elizabeth, he truly is a role model to all of us, men and women alike, and we are all deeply blessed to know him.

278. Judy it’s amazing what can change when we experience tenderness as you describe and how a whole new world opens up for us in our bodies and our worlds when we embrace that tenderness.

     1. It certainly does Monica. It is a gift through which we can come to realise that there is another way to live, one that embraces and reflects who we naturally are.

279. What a wonderful session Judy that you share with us here. I love the way you said “I let go the drive” and “I began to develop an understanding of what really supports me and my body and what allows me to be energised and have well being” The tenderness you received while having the healing with Curtis sounds beautiful and a really needed revelation in your life.

280. It’s so exposing to be in the presence of a tender man, just to be in his space can be a healing as a woman, it reminds me deeply of who I am and the stillness and beauty I have within.

     1. Totally agree Merrilee!

     2. I totally agree too! I am very humbled when I am in the presence of a tender man as this teaches me so much about the qualities I am naturally imbued with too, but overall it is the level of love that I am held in that I am blown away by. Too gorgeous for words and something that definitely has to be experienced to understand.

        1. The greatest blessing for me when I am being very tender is the willingness of someone (myself included) to be held in that tenderness. For me, the foundation of tenderness is the amazing strength that comes with it. I am really discovering the depth of this recently. Tenderness is my absolute expression as a man. Every cell of my body loves it. Which in turn makes me feel more like the powerhouse of a man that I am. Isn’t it crazy. The zillions of things that we are sold and told to make us feel like a man, all that ‘manly’ stuff – all of which is the polar opposite of that which makes us the indestructible rocks of trust and love that the world so desperately needs.

        2. I agree with you Matilda – utterly myth busting. I love your words here Otto as I can feel the confirmation the quality of tenderness gives you – very powerful; absolutely the polar opposite of what we have been sold about what a man is.

        3. It is amazing to hear a man really honour the strength of their innate tenderness. And to be in the presence of that… myth busting, life changing and unifying.

        4. It’s good to use the expression ‘polar opposite’. For those who have ever played with magnets, you will know the huge effort and drive that is required to push two polar opposites together. Well that is what we are doing to ourselves, by trying to be something that we are innately not. It takes so much energy to do this – hence the exhaustion and rampant disease and illnesses. And again for those who have played with magnets, you will know that if you let go of the magnets, they will flip round and gladly join together in their natural alignment. Well, that is what I am finding. If I let go, then my natural expression can’t help but come out.

        5. Beautiful analogy Otto! I have definitely experienced that “flip”!

        6. “flip” is a good word. Because it really is that a total 180 degree change in direction of how so many of us are living. It’s also a good word because it depicts the simplicity of the switch. It’s not complicated. It’s just a choice and once that choice is made, then everything is already there…so no new skills need to be mastered! And it’s a also a good word because of the way it expresses the speed of the change. The effects of connecting to our innate tenderness are immediate.

        7. Beautifully put.

     3. I agree Merrilee, it is healing on so many levels for a woman, and also allows another man to remember his own true essence – a connection that is so commonly destroyed by the incredible harshness of the environment young boys grow up in. What could happen if we allowed boys to express their naturally tenderness right from the get go.

        1. Will see what happens when my three boys turn into young men!! As they a natured in this way and not pushed into being tough or rough.

     4. That is really exposing merrileepettinato and therefore I appreciate every tender man as he is such a true and clear reflection for me.

281. I have also been blown away by the tenderness in men. A recent experience was teaching my 12 year old to iron his shirt. Ironing for me is a job that requires no time wasting, just getting it over as soon as possible. He was so tender in the way he ironed, not in a soft, wishy washy way, but he used gentle, flowing movements and enjoyed every minute of the task. As a woman, these tender men have inspired me to be more tender with myself and with others.

282. Judy the world is made up of a trillion billion beliefs all interwoven over the top of truth. Every culture, every society and pretty much every single person is walking around laden with beliefs.They act like a pair of dirty glasses that we peer through constantly and get a very muddied version of life, which we then BELIEVE is actually what life is! It’s a set up to keep us from the truth of who we are are and currently most people have fallen for it, hook line and sinker!

     1. Very well said Alexis. Once we make the decision to take off the dirty glasses then we can see the insanity of keeping them on and seeing such a distorted image of life, however when the glasses are on we know no different than the muddy view. Seeing someone else take their glasses off can inspire many to clean their lenses too.

        1. So true Susie, the more of us who remove these glasses the more inspiration that is offered.

     2. Beautifully said, Alexis. Not only super clear about the madness of layers that we live under but also a really cool opportunity to see the simplicity of taking off the glasses and dispensing with the baggage that gets in the way of living life unhampered.

283. Exposing Ideals and Beliefs: Discovering who we really are.

284. The amazing support offered by men living in the way that Curtis and his brother Micheal Benhayon do, is nothing short of life changing.
     We ALL have the potential to carry on their legacy and live to the best of our ability from the quality that reminds others that they are amazing too. Our responsibility in this (which you highlight in your blog Judy) is posture, walk and movement.

     1. Beautifully said Sarah – ‘We ALL have the potential to carry on their legacy and live to the best of our ability from the quality that reminds others that they are amazing too.’
        There is a reflection in all that we do that all who will see can feel. So what are we reflecting? Hardness and rigidness or a flow and joy in our movements?

        1. I needed to hear this today, thank you Rachael Evans.

     2. True: Our responsibility (which Judy highlighted in this blog) is posture, walk and movement. In this we offer, by reflection, evolution.

        1. As does everything in this universe wether we are aware of it or not.

        2. Absolutely true, Sarah, everything in this universe offers us 24/7 reflection whether we are aware of it or not, there is non-stop communication.

        3. Yes, it is truly beautiful when you consider this, that is unconditional love.

        4. Yes, always there available for us all equally. We have the gifts, now let’s open them and appreciate what God gave us.

        5. Absolutely, well said

     3. I agree absolutely Sarah. The qualities of true care, tenderness, grace, and love that I have experienced with both of these men have shown me indisputably how we can all live in a way that not only honours ourselves, but all others equally. and that these qualities deeply support and hold another, and allow them the space to begin to truly heal.

        1. Well said Annie and isn’t that what we keep coming back for, true healing…

285. Esoteric Massage and Bodywork reconfigures our bodies by restoring true movement in an ever so gentle and honouring way allowing one to let go and totally surrender to feel the essence of who we are. A modality straight from heaven!

     1. So true Francisco I absolutely agree. Esoteric Massage is a key support for my body to surrender to is truer way of being, releasing the tension and holding that can sneak in through working and mental activity. I love this divine modality.

     2. It is a beautiful modality we all have been able to experience, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for bringing it through and sharing with us all.

     3. I agree Francisco, Esoteric Massage and Bodywork is a very exquisite modality. It also restores the connection with one’s body, and restores trust.

     4. You too Francisco are one of these gorgeous tender men who allow people to rebuild trust and know another way.

        1. Yes there is a lovely quality and reflection about you Francisco and from other men in the student body that is appreciated and like Kristy expressed, it allows people “to rebuild trust and know another way”.

     5. I couldn’t agree more Francisco… a truly stunning and deeply healing experience reminding us that we are all we could ever want to be when we let go and surrender to that which lies within.

     6. Beautifully said, Francisco, a great summary of the many gifts bestowed upon us by Universal Medicine to support the return to our essence.

     7. This is so true Francisco and has been my experience of Esoteric Bodywork. A deeply beautiful opportunity to return to and build a true marker of who I am in my body through which I can then move in a way that honors the essence of who I am and who we all are.

     8. I had to be hard to live up to what I thought a man had to be, I lived it and it set rigid in my body restricting my thoughts as well as my movements. Esoteric Bodywork helped me loosen up and feel my body without ingrained hardness.

     9. I agree Francisco, as a Physiotherapist I have not come across any other modalities that have such a supportive and profound effect on the alignment, movement and posture of the body and I have even witnessed changes to client’s daily behaviours and thought patterns from Esoteric Bodywork programs.

     10. Yes. And when I have sessions I can literally feel my body releasing stuff, letting go and expanding. I am then free when I walk away from the session to live with that new ‘configuration’ or re-introduce old patterns that impinge again.

286. “”I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be.””
     This sounds like a driven being (spirit within us) that does not care about how we feel or the effects our actions have on our body.. And so there is no love expressed and or possible to come through or be touched within us. Therefore we should tackle this driving spirit and show that its way is not working – and that it needs to stop its drive and surrender forth. This is what we all need to relearn and commit to – this is our choice. And Universal Medicine has brought to humanity the way to do it and all the tools!!

287. I have had sessions from Curtis Benhayon and also Michael Benhayon and been absolutely amazed how deeply tender and yet very powerful they are. They are true role models for both men and women to be inspired by and blow away the ideals and beliefs that men need to be tough simply because they are male. When we hold onto ideals and beliefs we are not trusting ourselves to feel what is true.

288. Judy what you share here really breaks the general (mis-) conception of what disregard and even self-abuse is and is not. “Over the last few years, I have realised the punishment my body has taken by the disregard and lack of love I have shown it. I never considered for one moment going to bed when I was tired – I would simply push on to get the job done.”

     1. It is really sad to read and relate to how we force the body to continue when it is tired and has had enough for the day. We would not be so cruel to another, would we?

        1. Great point Janet, this makes the point quite clearly; that we must get one hell of a buzz and a kick out of it -at the expense of our bodies – why else would we do it? it makes no sense and in fact goes against everything we know about nurturing.

     2. This is so true Rosanna. We have come to accept that pushing and working our bodies hard, without consideration is normal and as such a culture of self-abuse has developed without question. In fact we champion the efforts made from someone who has pushed and disregarded the body to achieve results. This is a brutal way to exist, one that cannot be sustained and in time we will be called to a stop. Our bodies are not designed to move with loveless-ness, this is not who we naturally are and is far from our innately tender way of being.

     3. We may get recognised for doing the job but this doesn’t fill the emptiness we have chosen to get there!

289. I have to shake my head too Judy, I had a belief that I had to compete with men and try and prove I could be as good as them, and interestingly I chose jobs that were male orientated. Men could feel this competitive streak I had and looking back I can feel how this would become a constant battle instead of enjoying and appreciating the men I was working with. Thank God this is no longer the case, I enjoy working with the tenderness of men and if I step back into my old ways and harden I can feel how they recoil and their mannerisms change as they go into a protection. This has been a great marker for me to 1, not harden and 2, learn to enjoy men without judgement or criticism.

     1. Yes, when somebody loving and tender suddenly becomes competitive it is a bit of an ‘et tu Brute?’ feeling – it has a much bigger impact on us than a person who is always or usually competitive – there is no shock in dealing with the latter.

     2. Yes alisonmoir, if any one of us goes into protection it sends a signal to others that they also need to protect themselves and our staying easy and open and not judging would greatly the support the men around us to stay connected to their tenderness.

290. Judy the man you speak of, Curtis Benhayon, is an inspiration for all men and the complete example of what true tenderness and strength actually is. Having had a number of treatments with Curtis I can truly say they are each sessions that I cherish deeply, why? Because they remind me of the depth of tenderness that I can live in each movement but have yet to make my everyday reality.

     1. So true David- the way he moves and honours others and the tenderness that he meets you with- melts even the most hardened person. Love this man.

291. It’s quite revealing to notice the level of care with which we apply cream to our skin. I immediately know where I am at by the quality I bring to this activity, and thanks to Curtis Benhayon I have a great marker of tenderness, delicateness and exquisiteness in my body.

     1. ‘Tis true. And reminds of simplest of acts in which everything about Curtis Benhayon is so perfectly expressed – the way he lays a towel on you. It may seem crazy – but I reckon pretty much everything you need is expressed within those few seconds!

        1. Yes from walking into that healing room energy, lovingly prepared and awaiting us and our bodies. You can just feel this so very deeply on all levels.

        2. Totally agree Otto – the movements that Curtis makes are so sound and present that every cell in your body cannot but be pulled towards a profound preciousness, a rare window into what we have left behind.

        3. Yes, Otto, Curtis says it all and allows you to feel it all, simply by the way he lays a towel on you or puts an eye pillow on your eyes.

        4. ‘..Allows you to feel it all…’ It is his innate tenderness that opens us up the bigger picture. The power of this simple action actually lies in us – because it is the power of our tenderness that is revealed. Curtis’s towel placement if the key that unlocks our treasure.

        5. Yes, beautifully and very accurately put, Otto. And a treasure it sure is, the power of our innate tenderness. It changes everything from the way I move and from there to how I am with myself and others and the connections I have.

        6. Spot on. The movement is what comes first. Get that true and…. I am only just beginning to discover how this totally flips everything.

292. In my experience, once we have a clear marker of what it is to be with ourselves and not be in a rush, rushing feels awful – a bit like having an electric shock. No doubt this is what we refer to as being wired. The Esoteric Healing modalities work on a deeper level than any such treatments I have had before, leaving a lasting impression in the body of a more loving way of being.

     1. Yes these modalities are incredibly powerful. What I love about them is that in one session very hard and stuck patterns can be totally removed from the body and they lose their foundation and power over you. Once you have experienced what it feels like in the body not to have this energy there there is true understanding about what our daily choices mean. With true intention it becomes much harder to reconfigure the energy back in because it seemly feels too awful!

293. Beautiful sharing Judy Young. I had a session with Curtis Benhayon a couple of years ago and could feel the impact of it on my body and my awareness for months afterwards. I could even say that it left a lasting imprint on me, of how tender, gentle and yet strong a man can be.

     1. Curtis’s sessions offer us a truly beautiful reflection of true strength through exquisite tenderness, which we can then take with us and be inspired by constantly and be reminded that that beauty and power lies in us too.

     2. Yes Richard a mans tenderness and sensitivity does not diminish his strength, but adds to it.

294. Ideals, beliefs and assumptions are so debilitating. It is so beautifull to see boys and men being able to express with such tenderness of who they truly are.

     1. It is great to see that men and boys are breaking away from these ideals, beliefs, assumptions and sharing their gentle and tenderness with everyone.

        1. It is absolutely Awesome to be around men and boys that are giving themselves the permission to be who they truly are. It is so beautiful to see that they are not choosing to be the ‘tough’, ‘hard’ man with no feelings or sensitivity. Just like women, men have as much sensitivity and tenderness as they do and the strength in allowing this is profound.

        2. My 9yr old son loves to spend time with younger children – at school playtimes when most of his piers are scrabbling about with a football, he tells me that he loves to spend time with the reception kids, 4year olds – he speaks about them with such appreciation and care – what a beautiful tender friend he is.

295. When you noticeably see a level of tenderness in someone that is unlike anything that you have ever seen before you cannot help but be inspired.

     1. The level of tenderness reflected by people like Curtis Benhayon is indeed inspiring and at times actually shocking and rocking in face of what I personally and or the world in general has settled for being in and with their bodies and behaviours with one another.

        1. I agree Alex shocking to see how far out we can go from what we know is true and how clever we are at justifying the dysfunction.

        2. Totally Alex, many a time I have been leaving the house in a rush to get to school on time with my three children, anxiously driving everyone out of the door…..then I am brought to a stop as i stand & observe the tender way my daughter buckles her shoes before leaving – the power of this reflection is a blessing indeed.

        3. I agree Alex, what stands out for me when I have a treatment with Curtis is not only is he extremely tender but each time I go the level of tenderness what he expresses has deepened. This to me highlights how rough I have been with myself and others.

        4. Beyond the quality constant evolution is reflected – another inspiring wakeup call 😉

     2. I completely agree you cannot but be inspired, Serge Benhayon is one big inspiration in my life, he has shown tenderness in men that I have never experienced before in a man or even in a women. One true role model.

        1. I feel so deeply touched by Serge Benhayon for the way he expresses his love and care for people, even those he meets for the first time. ‘Tender’ might sound like a strange and overused description but it is the word that best captures how Serge is with people. He speaks with such genuineness in every word. And it inspires the same in those he meets, that this is our natural way.

     3. I agree, Nicole, feeling or seeing any quality that is so much more than what we are used to in our day to day lives is incredibly inspiring. You can feel the physical pull from your body to also be that way too.

        1. So true Alison it is like a part of you knows that quality and knows that it is in you as well.

        2. True, “you feel the pull from your body to also be that way too” but sometimes also the irritation by or even resistance to it caused by everything familiar held in the body that is not of the same quality like protection, mistrust, lack of self-worth, nervousness, anxiousness etc etc

     4. Yes nicolesjardin therefore I always love it if someone can be a true role model for me and the best is – I can be such a role model as well.

        1. Yes esteraltmiks, “I can be such a role model as well”. We all are reflecting to others all the time and we can either be a role model of tenderness or of hardness, of love or not-love – the choice is ours. And if we are aware of this we will feel the responsibility we have to make the choice to be a true role model.

        2. So true that it works both ways, recognising what we have to offer and bringing it to all that we do.

     5. Yes, and Curtis Benhayon is a living example of such tenderness.

     6. I am finding these days that tenderness ‘lived’ by someone is more of a head turner than good looks!

        1. So true Matilda, people are looking and trying to figure out what they are seeing, recently I had someone say I want to be calm like you, what are you doing?

296. Judy, you have summed up Curtis beautifully. Every time I have seen him for a session I am blown away by his tenderness. Each experience brought me to tears feeling this let alone what it is I went to the session for. These days I have many other men in my life who are developing and living such a level of tenderness that it blows me away, including my own partner who holds me in so much love. It is such a blessing to have men such as these leading the way.

     1. We are truly blessed to be in the presence of men in connection to their tenderness.

        1. Where would we be without it??!!

        2. Truly we are Abby.

     2. He melts me also Ariana. There is nothing quite like a man in tenderness, particularly as it is so unexpected with todays stereotype, but to be held tenderly by a man is life changing. There is no going back, and there can be no accepting anything less from that point.

     3. I know, Ariana! The way Curtis does, what is done in sessions is so detailed and tender, to the point where my raciness and harshness wanted to butt in and take over… The tenderness allowed me to see how un-tender I had been with myself and that we all deserve to be cared for and nurtured like a baby, from others and most importantly by ourselves.

     4. And the tenderness you talk about Ariana with Curtis is not just there for the treatment table it is there all the time, you can hear it in his voice when he speaks. In fact if he was not being in his tenderness all the time it could no be their during his treatment sessions.

297. Yes, “men are naturally and deeply tender”. We have in our Student Body so many living examples, it is not only Serge Benhayon and his sons Michael and Curtis, although they started the whole change that it is actually ok and normal to be tender as a man.They reflect the trust for other men to allow these qualities to be part of every day life. I can personally get struck by the delicateness of some of the men. They invite me to surrender more to my own delicateness and deepen the tenderness that is there.

     1. I totally agree Monika – Serge, Michael and Curtis Benhayon show that it is actually normal and completely natural for men to be tender and that it is incredibly powerful not something meek or mild.

        1. I absolutely agree with you, Fiona, tenderness is ever so powerful and not weak at all. Whereas all the time the world wants us to hold on to this image that isn’t true.

     2. Monika what you share about the men within the student body is very beautiful indeed ‘They invite me to surrender more to my own delicateness and deepen the tenderness that is there’ and yet it is so revolutionary in our society. The sad thing is that most men in the world would be very fearful of coming across as too feminine and by doing so incurring the wrath of men who have subjugated their own innate tenderness for hardness and aggression.

        1. Even more reason to celebrate the beautiful tender men that do show the world the real men they are in all their tenderness.

     3. Oh wow, don’t get me started on Michael and Curtis- they are the most tender, loving men. Through their love I have come to know, love and appreciate deeper parts of myself that I hadn’t connected too.

        1. I agree, Kristy, and I had to let go of my image that men are less tender than women before I allowed their reflection to deepen my delicateness.

     4. It is such a healing to be met with the tenderness of a man. It allows us as women to not hold their breathe but to let go and be themselves.

        1. Yes, Annie, it offers trust we can also be ourselves and sink into our own delicateness.

     5. It is funny how as women we don’t always know how to be around a man that is tender with us and looks into our eyes and hold us in the equalises, honour and preciousness we deserve etc. This intimacy shared is not commonly experienced outside of a romantic relationship so can be misinterpreted or we can even get anxious around this as it feels so lovely yet so intimate… There is a real vulnerability and even an awkwardness at times with letting our protections go.

        1. In a recent conversation one of the men shared how he experienced women to have so many layers of protection and how confusing that was for him to find a new layer of protection again and again.

298. Absolutely Jane our movements including our walk will always continue to evolve, which is also us evolving!

     1. As I read this blog I could feel my posture change to be more empowered.

299. There is an art in being tender and we don’t have to learn it. We just have to express it.

     1. Well said, we don’t have to learn it, we just have to connect to it and express it. There is nothing we have to do or to achieve, we just have to be who we are.

     2. We are all naturally tender and only have to surrender and allow all our movements to be changed by it.

        1. Yes Monika how beautiful it is when we re-connect to the quality and allow the quality to move our body.. we move with such presence, stillness and grace.

        2. Yes Mary Louise, the quality has been my marker the last couple of weeks to keep choosing and coming back to. Then my movement are different and allow, just like you describe, presence, stillness and grace and I can observe what is going on around me and stay open much easier.

        3. We are Monika, ‘We are all naturally tender and only have to surrender and allow all our movements to be changed by it.’ And it feels so much more lovely to live in this surrendered and tender way, with presence and stillness.

        4. To surrender, meaning to not have ideals and beliefs or expectations, allows true intimacy and a connection with another where we can see them in their essence.

     3. Beautiful Felix, we simply have to surrender to it, for it is the souls way to be tender.

        1. Very much so Elizabeth, and tender we shall go….

     4. There is a beautiful tenderness that comes through your expression Felix, so lovely to feel and so very inspiring.

     5. This is true Felix, but first we need to recognise this quality once again within ourselves and the tenderness of another, as in this session that of the gorgeous Curtis Benhayon, will be a first step back to knowing ourselves in the natural tenderness we are.

     6. Beautiful. We are naturally tender – we may have just hidden it from ourselves. I remember when a practitioner first mentioned the word tenderness to me. I thought “I’m not tender”. Fast forward a year or so and I can see more and more how tender I am – and I express it more and more and love it.

     7. Love the simplicity in this, Felix. The complexity of learning something so innate to ourselves implies that there is a way to get it right or wrong. But tenderness is simply felt, and while it is being felt we move or we express, and we will do so tenderly.

     8. Beautifully said, Felix. We don’t have to learn how to be tender, we are naturally so, it’s about letting go of the control, the protection, the tension that we hold in our bodies. Allowing the essence of who we are to flow through our every movement.

     9. Beautiful Felix, you knock out the belief that being tender is something we must try to do. Be ourselves, connect to our innerheart, and we are tenderness.

300. ‘This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush’ – quite simply this then allows space. The space to introduce quality into everything we do.

301. I can relate to many of the false beliefs you describe Judy, in particular the one about what it means to be successful and how there never seems to be enough time to do everything. What’s inspiring is being around people like Curtis Benhayon and others who live in a way that respects themselves and others, with no hint of rushing, and who have very busy full lives that include looking after children and working full time. We need more role models like this that show us there is another way to live life.

302. ‘Within this new walking posture I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice.’ How powerful and deeply healing our choices can be! Thank you for a gorgeous blog Judy.

303. Judy I love how you noticed how the ‘old movement’ of your walk return and it’s effects. I never used to consider how I walked but now I can feel the way in which I walk either exhausts and cements old unsupportive patterns or supports me, and deepens my connection with movements that are true.

     1. It makes a difference when we walk with tenderness and awareness of how our bodies are feeling, instead of thinking of other things and ignoring our body altogether.

304. Judy I too have felt how deeply tender a man can be through knowing Curtis Benhayon. Every movement I’ve observed him make is such that I’ve been shown how way off my tenderness is. I have no longer been able to believe men are in anyway less tender. What a beautiful, inspiring reflection he gives the world, breaking the gender stereotypes that we imprison ourselves with.

     1. ‘What a beautiful, inspiring reflection he gives the world, breaking the gender stereotypes that we imprison ourselves with.’ Wow Karin yes that is a gift we receive from observing a truly tender, loving and powerful man.

305. ‘I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I was’. This to me was a definition of success – learnt from school, and reinforced throughout my career. Its a devastating way to live, that inevitably leads to dis-ease, discontent and in my case a dodgy back as I kept overloading myself!

     1. Yes the belief of having to work hard and to struggle to be successful is an awful belief that has devastating consequences for our bodies and our general wellbeing. The worth comes with the struggle….. so absurd knowing the grandness we all are.

     2. Such way of working is the ultimate way to be burn-out, an increasing syndrome in all western society.

306. To put pressure at work without regard to oneself is something what not only exhausts oneself but also creates more pressure, stress and complication. We are running with an energy that is just not healthy nor really contributing to complete the job respectfully and satisfying.

307. A great example of how effective and inspiring Curtis Benhayon is as a practitioner and what amazing results Esoteric Massage can bring. Thank you.

308. I truly feel being tender with ourselves is a science unto itself. There is magic and miracles in it.

     1. ‘A science unto itself’ yes Irena I had not considered that and it gives me more to ponder on. Thank you

     2. Being tender and caring with myself never really occurred to me until I had sessions with Serge Benhayon and his sons Michael and Curtis. Their love, deep care and absolute tenderness went beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life, inspiring me to open to this in my own life, bringing many miracles.

     3. Yes, a science that takes courage to explore and express but the benefit is enormous.

309. It is crazy looking back on this behaviour Judy, I also pushed through tiredness and kept driving forward but at the time it seemed so normal, and something I prided myself on. Until I felt I had absolutely nothing left in the tank I wouldn’t go to bed. It’s empowering turning that corner and realising that we are precious and deserve to be cared for in that way. It then starts to show how often we are waiting for someone else to care for us.

     1. So true Aimee, and we push through as a way to race against time and get the long list of things to do, done. Hense, exhaustion ensues. l love to contemplate what Serge Benhayon has presented to us about time…that it doesn’t move. So when we move, we are actually with time, in time, getting along and on with it. lf we sit in delay we are standing stationary and it feels like we need to then chase time, to make it up.

        1. Thanks for this valuable reminder Irena, “lf we sit in delay we are standing stationary and it feels like we need to then chase time, to make it up.” This is huge and truly understanding this would heal many exhaustion issues that are so prevalent in society now.

310. Judy your experience of working with Curtis Benhayon for bodywork session is the same as my own. Curtis has way of holding clients in full acceptance and celebration of all that they are, his tenderness is profoundly healing, and his clarity and understanding of life and the body is incredibly helpful. Curtis is inspiring both as a person and as a professional practitioner.

     1. I agree Melinda, one of the things that always stands out for me when I have a session with Curtis is how understanding and non-judgemental he is. Like you say he has a way of holding clients in full acceptance and celebration.

     2. He is a tenderness champion – a great reflection to all of us men of a true strength expressed the way it should be.

311. Thank you, Judy. I too have experienced the exquisite tenderness of Curtis Benhayon and the absolute power of his treatments. I have seen in my own body the configurations that can be held there that keep us walking and moving in a constricted pattern. True change has to include changing the configurations held in our bodies.

     1. True change in how we move and conduct ourselves does indeed include getting rid of the old configurations held in the body and that is why Esoteric Massage is so effective; it doesn’t ‘doctor’ the muscles nor does it shift tensions from one place to another, it goes to the heart of the matter in the gentlest and most respectful way, no push or shove, no manipulation, no force.

     2. Great point Elizabeth, I have experienced that too. It is very freeing to feel the configuration lift and I only then realized how much it restricted and controlled my movements – I had not been aware of that before as it had become my “normal”.

     3. I agree Elizabeth, and this can take a little while to fully embody along with a commitment and dedication to the change.

     4. Well said Elizabeth, in every healing session with esoteric practitioners old patterns and configurations are untied and we have the opportunity to choose differently thereafter and live true movement.

        1. Yes, that extra space that gives us more choices than we had before is beautiful to behold. We then know it is there – we may fall back a little but we know it is there.

312. I find it amazing that we can take on badly paid work and decide that we then need to work really, really hard to the obvious detriment of our body and our well-being in order to fulfil the unspoken or explicit requirements of this badly paid work. It almost feels like we take on these jobs in order to deprive ourselves of having enough and to damage our vitality. There are times we have little choice but what have we done to get us in this situation and what are we doing to get ourselves out of this situation and why, with all our power and intelligence, did we get here in the first place?

     1. And what is worse is that this is the way the world is configured, and it is what is expected. An awful state of affairs that has been accepted for far too long.

        1. Yes, and we support and foster it by thinking there are no alternatives or even deliberately not looking for alternatives and choosing to numb ourselves instead.

313. Having role models like Curtis Benhayon allows us to have a marker of what true tenderness is, and also a knowing that we have that within us too – otherwise we would not recognise it when we feel it… and this inspires us to then be the tender, loving beings we all innately are.

314. Curtis Benhayon is a gorgeous man whose tenderness is divine, he shows the strength of a man’s lived tenderness and that there’s nothing weak or soft about this, but everything that’s truly powerful and assured. He is a true man who shows through the way he moves, the equal beauty of himself and that of the universe too. Thank God for Curtis’s expression; to have a session with him is healing from Heaven, truly.

     1. Couldn’t agree more Zofia.

315. A beautiful sharing Judy, ‘I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.’ Yes we are as precious as a new-born baby and it is wonderful to have this reminder and people in our lives who reflect living this preciousness in full.

316. Agree Judy, it’s only when you stop or cease doing something do you realise the impact of it, and as you have shared the absurdity too, and the benefit of the new way. And so great to be aware of what ideals and beliefs shape the way we walk and move, as then there’s something to work with and finally ditch for good.

317. It is great that you could break the pattern of pushing on through. I know so many people who make work and other things more important than themselves and it really does have an effect on their bodies. As a massage therapist I get to see a lot of people and it really is important that we all start to see the cause and effect of all the choices we are making.

318. Letting go of the drive is definitely the key – I relish the day when I can say 100% “I surrender” and simply sit back and enjoy the ride. It’s crazy and sad when I stop and consider how much I have missed out on whilst speeding through each day. So much haste and going nowhere!

319. I can so relate to what you share here Judy…especially in regards to going into hardness and completely overriding what my body is telling me, all so the job ‘gets done’ – but at what cost to our body, and why the need to prove something or impress another?
     Its all a crazy way of living – abusing the very vehicle that carries us through this life…it just doesnt make sense why we would do this. We wouldnt keep driving our car without oil because we know it does detrimental damage and yet we push our bodies on when they are already exhausted.

     1. ‘We wouldn’t keep driving our car without oil because we know it does detrimental damage and yet we push our bodies on when they are already exhausted.’ No we wouldn’t Paula, so where do we lose our connection to the needs of the body? As children we cry when we are tired or we fall asleep, we still have that connection. It seems the reflections in the world do not confirm us to stay with that connection and listen to our body throughout life, but we have that ability within, we had that ability as children and we simply have to reconnect to it and choose it consistently.

320. “I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” This false belief has been firmly embedded in me most of my life and although I have come to recognise that it is not true I still have not mastered dropping it completely – it is a deeply ingrained pattern and still requires consistent reminders to help me to work towards re-imprinting it in my body.

321. You mention the way you (WE) get caught up in the drive of life, the doing the needing to be better than another. The other area I fall down on is food, not being totally aware of what my body is telling me , or at times ignoring its ! Thank you Judy you have given me much food for thought!

322. Our bodies are true markers of how we are living our lives – every little tension registers an affect on our body, so every moment of tenderness will also be clocked and appreciated by our bodies too.

     1. I like what you have written here Paula, we are all too familiar with feeling the tension but it is a good reminder that we also clock the tenderness and the profound effect this can have on our bodies.

323. The power of being offered such deep tenderness from another and the miracles/healings that come about from this. A beautiful sharing Judy thank you.

324. Judy I really could relate to your sharing, “Within this new walking posture I have found a reawakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness honouring, clarity love and wisdom we all can live, simply and ongoing choice.

325. From reading this blog and the comments what I feel is a true celebration of the divinity of Curtis Benhayon and all that he reflects.

     1. And all that we all can be, totally Donna.

326. Isn’t it incredible how we can override our body with something as simple as feeling that we are tired yet not going to bed. When we start to listen to our body, develop our awareness and respond to what it is telling us, our relationship with our body becomes about deeply honouring and living in a way where we feel our preciousness and tenderness in all that we do.

327. ‘… I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.’ Nor too did I Judy and to be honest, it still feels very alien to me but I know first hand how nourishing and true it feels when I do so.

     1. Yes Michelle, in fact one of the best pieces of advice I have received was to treat myself the way I would the small boy version of me, and that is with tenderness and deep care.

328. Thank you for your very open and tender sharing, Judy, it was so beautiful to wake up and read your words this morning. I loved all the points you experienced during your healing session with Curtis Benhayon, particularly how you felt ‘A level of openness and connecting with a love and stillness so deep, my awareness of what love truly is has been changed forever’ …. these markers are always shifting for us as we allow ourselves to surrender a little more and feel more of who we actually are. Just gorgeous.

329. Tenderness is not a gender specific. On the surface, it would appear that men are not naturally tender, but this is a fallacy and an illusion. Men started out as tenser as boys, and we tend to think it is a natural part of the process of being transformed into a man that we will develop a rugged physical and emotional exterior. But it is not natural. It is a curse, for a man who hardens himself to life becomes trapped within a prison of his own making. And from there he closes himself off to a world that – yes – can be very painful at time. But he also closes himself off to love, as do women who choose not to honour their own deep level of delicateness. The world is a hard place, but that does not mean we have to become hard to learn to deal with all its seeming complexity. A tender body is an open body and an open body is more receptive to love – which is not a romantic ideal, but rather an energetic state of being.

     1. There is a great question here – do we allow the hard world to make us tough, or do live as tender loving human beings and bring the world to that way of thinking?

        1. Beautifully said Simon and the ‘living as tender loving human beings’ is the way to go otherwise how will anything ever change?

        2. Not only that Judy, but we are desperately in need of some change. The headlong crash toward a bankrupt moral society, or inability to cope of the NHS, or simply the lack of basic humanity and brotherhood all point to a significant downfall in the not too distant future. A bit scary maybe, but the writing is definitely on the wall.

     2. Love what you have shared here Adam, you leave no stone unturned as usual, even if a reader wanted to misinterpret what LOVE means you clarify that with a strength that explains love is an energetic state of being not a fluffy romantic ideal.

330. ‘‘Time’ is something I have always fought all my life, since there never seemed enough of it to complete all the things I needed to do.’ – I know I spent most of my life running this program, when we fight for time we increase the amount of tension in our bodies making it almost impossible to complete a task and it will lack any true quality when we push ourselves in this way.

     1. ‘ when we fight for time we increase the amount of tension in our bodies making it almost impossible to complete a task and it will lack any true quality when we push ourselves in this way.’ Yes I agree the quality in our body comes from connection to it and feeling our every movement when we lose that connection and are fighting time there is no true quality.

     2. ‘…when we fight for time we increase the amount of tension in our bodies making it almost impossible to complete a task and it will lack any true quality when we push ourselves in this way’ – Very true Anna. We do exactly that – ‘fight’ time and make it the enemy because it keeps everything that we do small and irrelevant; we finish one piece of work and instead of appreciating it and the effect it will have, we have to just ‘get on with the next’ because we have a limited time at work and a limited time to complete everything.

331. Thank you Judy for this very supportive tender blog and sharing your changes and experiences with your body the choice of deep self care and honouring for yourself your body and the amazing refection from Curtis Benhayon. A real inspiration that I have found also.

332. “I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice”. Thank you for sharing this as over time I have also come to know this and I always remember Serge Benhayon saying so clearly that we always have a choice – in each moment – and even though I dont always choose the love and wisdom, it does not stop it from being there to choose from. It is a constant in life (hence the tension of when we dont choose it).

     1. That is really important to remember, Sarah. Sometimes there can be a feeling that I have strayed too far away from what I know would support me to be able to get back, but the truth is that it is always there, I am always here. In those moments it is crucial to be tender with myself, as tender as I can be. This does not mean wrapping myself up in cotton wool and keeping the world away, but instead paying close attention to how I feel and gently reacquainting myself with what it is like to be in my body.

333. Judy this is such a lovely testament of Curtis, he is amazing and offers everyone a true reflection of what is to be deeply connected to our bodies and open to love.

     1. I agree Francisco, Curtis Benhayon offers everyone the touch of heaven and this testament by Judy offers other readers the possibility of living a life connected to one’s inner-most.

     2. This is a beautiful testament of Curtis Francisco. I have also been so fortunate to experience many sessions with Curtis Benhayon. He is amazing! The depth of tenderness and honouring he meets me with is off the charts. He shows me my potential in terms of connecting to my body and the level of love that is possible to express from.

     3. Oh yes Francisco, I have also felt the exquisite tenderness that Curtis lives and breathes. Lying on a massage table in a session with Curtis always exposes to me how hard I have been living, and it gives me an opportunity by Curtis’s loving reflection how it is just not me and I can re-connect again to the sweetness and gentleness underneath.

     4. Francisco, Judy could easily of been speaking here also of yourself as a tender man working as a practitioner for Universal Medicine. What you offer is equally as tender and love-filled.

334. “I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, but this is exactly what I needed to allow for myself.” When I read this line I feel how powerful it is to take care of yourself with the preciousness you deserve and just how much pressure is offset around you when you make this choice continually.

     1. And the more we care for ourselves this way, then the more we will then be able to bring that same level of care and quality of love to others.

        1. Amen to that.

335. We are supposed to be intelligent yet it is crazy that even when we feel so tired we still push through and reach for stimulating foods instead of …. going to bed earlier! A beautifull blog Judy it is great to appreciate and truly acknowledge Curtis Benhayon in who he is and all he brings to Sacred Esoteric Bodywork. I so agree with what you have shared here when speaking of Curtis ‘How a man can be deeply tender and, in this case, more tender than most of the women I know, and this includes myself!’ The absolute love and care he has with each person during a session is so healing and deeply nurturing giving all a new marker of how we can be with ourselves and others.

     1. Exactly Vicky …. ‘We are supposed to be intelligent yet it is crazy that even when we feel so tired we still push through and reach for stimulating foods instead of …. going to bed earlier!’ You would think that we would learn to allow more time, so we’re not leaving things to the last minute, or if something urgent comes up, we are able to honour ourselves, if something is just not achievable in a short timeframe, and ask for support, rather than feeling like we HAVE to do it, on our own, at whatever cost to ourselves. After we push ourselves to extreme exhaustion, we then need to rest to recover, so ….. it does make more sense to work consistently at a more loving pace. Which is exactly what our ‘long suffering’ bodies are trying to tell us!

     2. Yes, we push through until we are too tired to go to bed and when we drag ourselves to bed, we are too tired to sleep or, if we do, we don’t recover very well. We pay a big price for being able to function that little bit longer when there is rarely a need for it right at that moment.

336. Same for me Judy, Curtis has provided me with a true marker in my body of what tenderness and deep love and appreciation feels like and that is supporting me tremendously to choose that for myself and treat myself in this way.

     1. I agree – Curtis is a true role model in that respect, for both men and women alike.

337. After going into drive and living my life from a place of pushing to meet deadlines and get EVERYTHING done within certain timeframe my body has created a stop. I have a fever and my body is aching from top to toe. What is interesting is not only have I stopped but I have also been able to reconnect to the gentle tender being that I am and shed some of the hardness I was building in order to get things done. I can feel how deeply sensitive and sweet I am and how far I had drifted from this in the focus of the end goal. I am realising that I can no longer go into drive because it doesn’t work, instead it is about deepening my rhythm and foundation to support me as my business grows.

     1. This is so true Fiona. Drive and pushing to get ahead at the expense of our bodies just does not work and in the end our body will tell us so. There is absolutely no getting away from it.

338. Reading your blog Judy helped me connect to my own tenderness, something I had completely shut down until recently, I could barely even say the word let alone live it. Now, if I choose to I can live from a beautiful tenderness which feels so innate in my body and from here life flows, or I can choose to live from old patterns of drive which when I revert back to everything around me starts to unravel.

     1. Hi Fiona yes that sounds familiar ‘when I revert back everything around me starts to unravel’ so why is it we choose those old patterns sometimes?!

     2. This is a very raw and honest comment Fiona, thank you for sharing.

339. Thank you Judy for deeply honouring Curtis Benhayon in your sharing. Curtis is a remarkable, tender, wise and deeply loving man, a true role model for men and women.

     1. Yes Katinka, that he is.

     2. I agree Katinka, Curtis Benhayon and the many men that have connected to and claimed their deeply tender, precious and loving way are carrying a reflection for all others to experience. They are re-imprinting what many women and other men’s existing perceptions of what a ‘Real Man’ is. This has been life changing for me as a woman, as a sister, as a mother, as a friend. Thank you Judy for your Beautiful Blog.

        1. The whole idea or ideal that there is such a thing as a ‘Real Man or Woman’ is complicating our lives.

     3. I agree Katinka, Curtis Benhayon is indeed a very true role model for both men and women equally.

     4. Well said, Katinka. Judy, what you share is also a beautiful confirmation that what we are able to offer people has nothing to do with our age, or how many years we have been doing something, it’s all about our commitment to our livingness and being dedicated to living all of who we are, always. Curtis, along with the whole Benhayon family, is the real deal, the true role model that we so dearly need in our world today.

        1. I love being brought back to my responsibility to be a true role model too, expressing the deepest level of delicateness and tenderness I can and bringing Truth to the world once again.

     5. Hear hear Katinka he most certainly is.

     6. This said I can confirm that the tenderness and care that I experienced in sessions with Curtis Benhayon was far more than I had treated myself with to that time. Men and women can have the same level of tenderness if they chose so.

        1. Well said Sonja. Curtis Benhayon is a wonderful reflection for us to consider how tender are we being with ourselves.

        2. Yes, true Sonja – such tenderness is there for the choosing by any of us. Well said.

        3. This is inspires me to bring my deepening level of tenderness to others too without holding back. Gosh that feels beautiful!

340. ‘The first step was to let go of the drive… This didn’t mean working less, it simply meant that I no longer placed undue pressure on myself to complete a task in an unnecessary rush, or without being aware of how my body was feeling’ – I love what you’ve written here Judy, and think this is such a powerful statement. So many of us are constantly rushing and watching the clock in order to ‘get it all done’ and finish our workloads. What I’ve found is that it actually tends to take me MORE time when I’m rushing and stressing because I’m more likely to make mistakes, whereas when I am present and focus on each task at a time – giving it my full attention – then the quality of the work is greater, and I seem to get it all finished in a suitable amount of time. Letting go of our ‘drive’ really doesn’t have to mean that work doesn’t get done – quite the opposite!

     1. Yes Susie, great point to highlight as it seems we go from one extreme to the other, first we rush and try to really quickly finish all the tasks to then flop, check out and have time off and nothing gets done. What Judy and you are sharing here is a steady, consistent work flow by staying connected to yourselves and therefore can be sustained over longer periods without exhausting you or ever getting bored of it, which is truly beneficial for our health and well-being.

        1. Great to have this cycle of ‘boom and bust’ pointed out Judith. This pattern has been very true for me in years gone by, and you can see it in the general populace when annual vacation time rolls around – with people not only doing nothing, but very often getting ill when they stop. This is a clear sign there’s something not right with this way of working!

        2. Judith you have uncovered another deeply ingrained belief and that is the old ‘on time and off time’ illusion, traditionally characterized by work and home life. We believe that ‘I am now at work’ and therefore this is not ‘me’ time and then when I leave work this automatically becomes ‘me’ time. This sets up all kinds of difficulties. We resent being at work past our set hours, we put our bodies into incredible drive whilst ‘at work’, we treat people at work differently to those people we have in our lives ‘out of work’, we behave differently, we dress differently, in short we are two different people for 50% of our lives, rather than simply being us in our own claimed rhythm wherever we are, which is how we were intended to be.

        3. That’s so true Judith. We can so easily go from one extreme to the other and become so exhausted after rushing around all day that we flop, check out, come to a grinding halt and nothing else gets done. It’s like the story about the race between the tortoise and the hare – slow and steady wins the race!

        4. I agree Judith. When we have a steady way of being and dealing with what needs to be done, we don’t suffer from the extremes of pushing through in overdrive or numbing out and doing nothing because we are so exhausted we cant continue. Having that deep self-regard for my body has certainly evened out those unhealthy peaks and troughs in my daily life.

        5. Yes I notice when I have this drive, the consequence is exhaustion and needing ‘me time’ to recover. Realising that staying with me, bringing me to whatever I am doing – so not focusing on a task and forgetting myself, allows me a consistency in all I do.

     2. I agree, and love what you’ve shared there Susie – “Letting go of our ‘drive’ really doesn’t have to mean that work doesn’t get done – quite the opposite!”.

        1. I agree with this completely, I am finding that ‘letting go of the drive’ means letting go of the recognition I sought for achieving and allowing myself the grace of not overly pushing to get things done. In doing so, I find things get done more easily than previously.

     3. Exactly Susie. there is a different rhythm in how we can approach our day. I have noticed this when driving on the roads, driving with attention and focus to what I’m doing makes things more flowing and I get where I need to go, but most cars drive and rush between every red light, I still get there at the same time and have to wait less at red lights!

        1. Ha ha, love your comment Harry, I’m still a work in progress when it comes to driving. I’m learning to be more honest about how much time is needed to get from A to B and to always factor this into my day. Rushing feels terrible, it’s also really imposing for everyone else on the road and as you say, by traveling in your own rhythm, you arrive at pretty much the same time anyway! It feels SO supportive when I do allow plenty of time, I can really enjoy being with myself on my journey.

        2. How I am driving is a very good indicator of how I am in that moment. Am I rushing? Am I distracted? Irritable? Relaxed? In the past I have driven to a destination and wondered how I got there. A bit worrying. I now use driving as a fun way to be super focused on what I am doing and how my body is feeling. Leaving myself enough time to get to where I am going makes a big difference.

        3. I must admit I find it fascinating observing how people drive their cars, and how determined they are to get ahead or toot their horns because they have had to wait all of 5 seconds for another driver. In a city like London, you are never far from a traffic light or traffic. It doesn’t make any sense to rush and from a safety aspect its dangerous, but so many of us do it.

     4. Exactly Susie, through our connection with our body, space is created in our particles and within space, time too expands.

     5. I totally agree Susie, I have found this too. When I am very aware of the time and am feeling the push to get things done in a certain timeframe, time seems to pass at double speed and whatever I’m doing is being compromised as a result. It’s easy to make mistakes and it feels terrible to be under so much pressure. However, when I allow myself to be very present in what I’m doing, with no time contraints, it feels SO different. Time becomes space, spreading perfectly around the task at hand, I’m always astonished by how little time has passed, with no rush. Letting go of the drive allows us to connect and bring our ‘quality’ to whatever we’re doing.

     6. So true Susie… the belief that we are up against time and have to rush/stress to get everything done is quite a trick. We tend to believe if we aren’t driven and rushing then the work won’t get done, and conversely if we are more present then we will have to go slow and the work still won’t get done: so much pressure either way that greatly affects our bodies… but both are beliefs that are not true!
        As you say “it actually tends to take me MORE time when I’m rushing and stressing because I’m more likely to make mistakes, whereas when I am present and focus on each task at a time – giving it my full attention – then the quality of the work is greater, and I seem to get it all finished in a suitable amount of time.” I have found this too… when I am more present in what I am doing everything completes in its own natural rhythm which is always in a timely manner, and my body feels great all the way through.

     7. This is a great point you raise here Susie, and I can definitely agree here as it really does make an enormous difference when we simply keep our focus and presence with each task, it also means that we can really enjoy each task rather then be in the thinking of the next before we have even completed the first.

        1. I agree aminatumi. We miss out on our life when our head is constantly in the future thinking of the next task, whilst we still have not completed the one we are doing. Being present does allow us to enjoy and fully express in the moment we are in.

     8. I have found this too, Susie. When I am not rushing or trying to do three things all at the same time, and instead focus on what I am doing, time seems to work with me not against me.

     9. Love that Susie – when we are caught in the drive, we end up spinning our wheels and going nowhere (or even sliding back down a hill of our own creation).

     10. So true Susie W. Yes, the more I rush, the more mistakes I make. In addition, the quality of what I do is thoroughly compromised to which there is a knock on effect sometimes meaning that work has to be repeated or even discarded. That full attention is a priceless commodity that every workplace and school would do well to cultivate.

     11. Well said Susie, we hang on to the ‘rush’ out of fear of falling behind but it usually slows us down, as you point out, with mistakes or lack of focus coming back to bite us at some stage.

     12. Susie, I find this too, ‘What I’ve found is that it actually tends to take me MORE time when I’m rushing and stressing because I’m more likely to make mistakes’, If I rush, panic and stress t feels really awful in my body and stops connection with myself and other people and I tend to either hurt myself, other people or make mistakes – it definitely does not work for me.

341. Such delicate tenderness is a beautiful reminder of how we can choose to be tender with ourselves all the time.

     1. Agreed Carmen, it is a powerful reflection of a way of honouring the body and movement connected to soul give to us by Curtis Benhayon, amazingly healing!

342. Agreed Judy. Appointments with Curtis are amazing. Last time I went and had a massage I really got to feel what tenderness was like. Apsolutely from the start until the end. Great market for knowing what men are capable of. Completely honouring.

343. Curtis Benhayon has flipped every thing I ever thought I knew about being a man.

     1. I totally agree Otto, he had definitely shattered that old mould and I never thought I would have a role model that would be half my age, as we generally also think of role models as or seniors, but he defines what a true man needs to be if we are to reshape the world and the mess it is in.

        1. It took me a bit to shatter that illusion too – here is a young man who is living in a way that is so assured, so full and yet with none of that tough exterior. As the ideals of how old a role model should be have slipped away I have been able to learn and feel so much more of what he has to offer. And lucky us he’s still got a few good years in him!

        2. Agree Kevin and I never thought that I could have a man as a role model in tenderness!! Building true tenderness and care in my body has been a process of letting go of ideals and beliefs and has been greatly supported by esoteric practitioners like Curtis Benhayon and others.

        3. It is very heartening to see other men commenting here about tenderness and not being afraid to do so. Tenderness is present equally in men as it is in women and in children. It does not change because we grow older, only we change in response to how we experience life.

        4. Curtis is definitely a role model, he has been a role model for me as I have been working on my tenderness and gentleness. Having Sessions with Curtis has supported me with working on my gentleness and tenderness, as I use to be very hard and controlling.

        5. ‘I never thought I would have a role model that would be half my age,’ ….. I feel the same about Natalie Benhayon! Just goes to show how innate our wisdom is, it has nothing to do with age, rather our choice to live the fullness of who we are.

        6. ‘Tenderness is present equally in men as it is in women and in children. It does not change because we grow older, only we change in response to how we experience life.’ This is beautiful Shevon, so true. Our bodies still have the same tenderness at 50 as they did when we were born, how much we feel and share simply depends on our choice to connect to what is already there, waiting to flow through our bodies.

        7. With you Kevin. And actually just the process of accepting him as a role model is in itself huge healing even before anything else has happened! What I mean is that us men play so many games around peers, experience, seniority, pecking order…all kinds of ways of keeping ourselves separate as brothers. Opening your heart to a young man like Curtis Benhayon is a divine gift for us ‘older’ men; because in truth we already know it he is our brother (neither older or younger) – we are just aching to live it – we are all equal.

     2. Curtis has also supported me deeply as a woman. To be met and touched with absolute love and held with the upmost of respect consistently has given me the deepest measure of how truly and naturally loving men are. Being held in such tenderness has been foundational for me to heal many hurts that I carried from having allowed immense amounts of abuse in past relationships. It’s beautiful to read so many other people’s experiences of Curtis and the tender brotherly love he holds us in.

        1. I have had a similar experience as you Abby. My sessions with Curtis Benhayon have shown me how tender men can be and in that, it has healed many fears and ideals and beliefs that I have held about men. I love and so appreciate that he is a role model for women and men alike because he has so much to share and inspire everyone with.

        2. I totally agree Abby, Curtis Benhayon lives a level of respect which he shares with everyone and it shows me that I have never given myself that deep level of respect nor therefore have I shared it with others. If I allow myself to deepen how I care for my body then there is a way of being with others which is truly loving, natural and how it can be. ‘tenderly brotherly love’ describes it beautifully.

     3. So true Otto, me too. And what a delight it is to start to reconnect with the flip side.

     4. Thats an awesome statement and a huge compliment to Curtis Benhayon, especially coming from a man like you Otto, whom from an outsider prospective looking in, you seemingly had it all already, the humbleness you deliver here is very touching.

        1. The difference between what we seem to have and what we actually have is a gap that I was a master at covering. Curtis Benhayon inspired me to take away that cover, to drop the pretence and to let others in and my true self out. And through this (which I am expanding on every day) the truly miraculous power of tenderness is being revealed to me.

        2. We have never met but it feels as if I know you very intimately because of the way you so generously share the beautifully man you are with the world.

344. Beautiful to read Judy. I have not ever had a bodywork session with Curtis, but feel like I better book one after reading this and all the comments 🙂

     1. ooo Heidi go for that delectable tenderness. All the Esoteric Practitioners have a deep love and to me it feels each brings a certain quality and Curtis reflects such deep clarity and the tenderness but with true strength.

        1. So true, Judy, after the body receives a treatment from an Esoteric Practitioner, it holds a marker of what if feels like to be held in love, allowing the soul to do it’s work, without any imposition. This then subsequently exposes anything that is not of the same energetic quality, very clearly, which is so beautiful. I’m sure many of us had feelings of dis-ease before coming to Universal Medicine, without appreciating the significance of what our bodies were sharing.

345. The quality and depth that Curtis Benhayon offers in Esoteric Body Work is extraordinary. I have had many massages in my life but not one comes any where close to how I feel after a session with Curtis. The deepest level of tenderness, respect and honouring is impeccable and the wisdom that he shares is always spot on to what I need to hear at the moment. Walking out with this as a marker of who I am is such a blessing and then to be able to take this with me in all that I do and with everyone that I meet is priceless.

     1. Well said, Natalie …. ‘The deepest level of tenderness, respect and honouring is impeccable and the wisdom that he shares is always spot on to what I need to hear at the moment.’ …. before I experienced Esoteric Massage, I never liked ‘massage’ at all and put it down to the fact that my body was just very sensitive to touch. Which, of course, it is, however, maybe my body was also asking me to be more discerning about the energy first and not to let ‘anyone’ place their hands on me, without first checking the energetic integrity of the practitioner.

346. Thank you, Judy, for this joyful sharing about your developing relationship with tenderness in your body. I think we need to invent a new word for the depth of tenderness of Curtis Benhayon. It is indescribable when a man can make another melt through the quality of his presence.

347. Thank you Judy for sharing your beauty-full experience following an esoteric bodywork session with an amazing health practitioner- Curtis Benhayon who expresses such tenderness that your body totally surrenders with his loving touch.

348. I too remember when I had an awesome bodywork session from Curtis Benhayon.
     His depth of tenderness is a reflection of what we also have within us all.

349. You are a living case study to show how one esoteric bodywork session with Curtis has been completely life changing because the way you move from now on has been absolutely re-configured because you’ve connected to your own equal tenderness. That is pretty life changing Judy.

350. When we do stop and look at it we can see how crazy it is to keep pushing ourselves, recently I have been overriding my body in order to get things done, reading your blog Judy is a great reminder to me to deeply honour what my body is expressing.

351. Reading your blog Judy and reading through the comments makes it so clear how much we naturally respond to tenderness and thus how much it is an innate part of our being.

     1. Yes for sure, true tenderness is super powerful and inspiring (as is Curtis Benhayon) and feels very different to a fake softness that can sometimes be presented.

     2. Isn’t it just,Esther and begs the question of what lead to us living anything less?

352. When I initially started to read this I thought it was written by a man and the fact that it was not brought home to so strongly at a new and deeper level the true power of tenderness. Thank you for sharing Judy.

     1. Great observation Jonathan, the true power we bring when we offer another a deeply tender reflection whether that be in a healing session or in a conversation in the office.

353. Your experience with Curtis Benhayon sounds truly amazing Judy. It seems clear to me that the healing that you had was very much a result of your openness and commitment to truly heal. Thank you for sharing this with us all.

     1. Thank you Leonne, it is true we can choose to make that commitment to our own healing and thus allow it.

354. This is a beautiful sharing Judy – it feels glorious to walk in our tenderness and to grace others with this quality – tender movement is very healing.

355. I love one of your closing lines Judy: “I now have this as a conscious choice to make with every step I take.” It is such a powerful thing to know we have conscious choices to keep us connected to what we know feels true, and can return to this when we feel the tension come back into our body.

356. A beautiful tender sharing Judy – thank you so much for allowing us to experience how we all have the choice to make these changes. It’s not rocket science – just a beautiful and precious unfolding.

357. The feelings of tenderness I have experienced in sessions with Curtis Benhayon have been exquisite and allowed me to feel that gorgeousness within myself also. I have also felt the potential for so much more as I realise the true delicateness that we are, and in honouring that, can be.

358. I have found that being in the presence of such a man, my self-worth issues dissolve and I feel more gorgeous than ever, such is the power of a man in his tenderness.

     1. Beautifully said Kate

     2. Ah yes katechorley it’s this divine tender touch we as women miss… But we are the ones that raised these boys in the first place. Thank God for Curtis, Michael and Serge Benhayon for reflecting another way.

        1. Yes Merrilee and everyone both male and female, who observe the reflection and choose it too.

359. It is interesting that the men I have known who are not afraid to live the tenderness that they are, are also the most powerful. It really is a life changing experience to be in the presence of such a man and held in his love.

360. Judy, there is such honesty and simplicity in your sharing but those seemingly small changes you have made really are huge. I have found that changing the energy in which I move changes everything, it causes me to feel differently and therefore think differently.

361. I loved reading what you share Judy and I also love the confirmation for all men that we are indeed innately deeply tender in all ways. Being tender is definitely not a gender thing, it’s available for everyone as you have shown here, many thanks.

     1. Indeed you and all men are indeed deeply tender. I feel that the wonder of feeling such deep tenderness during my session was such because it revealed the truth of this and that we all have this within us, something which before this session had perhaps been purely a concept to me not a truly felt reality.

362. Judy, having had many esoteric bodywork sessions with Curtis Benhayon I can fully attest to what you’re sharing here. To feel a man so deeply tender blows out of the water that men are tough and rough-edged — and that this is where a man’s strength lies. Curtis reflects to men and women how there is enormous power and authority in touch that is exquisitely tender and unapologetic in that expression. It is what the world needs deeply so to turn around from the disarray and chaos we find ourselves in today.

     1. Katerina it’s a bit of an contradiction when we use the word tender to describe men when we raise them to be tough, or sensitive when we tell them to harden up. No wonder men who claim there sensitivity are rare and the power and authority in there touch felt so deeply by all. Such a new marker for us all to expose the traditional mould we raise boys in.

     2. Hi Katerina, Wow from Chaos to deep stillness through the touch from one living the power and tenderness of divinity now that is true healing.

363. When a man connects to his tenderness there is a beauty that blows me away. There would have been a time when I would have seen this as weak, based, like you Judy, on the ideals and beliefs I had about men. Men were more interesting if they were a bit of a rogue or a maverick and brushed aside the ones that stayed connected to their sensitivities. Curtis and Michael Benhayon have changed the mould forever on this, they are young men that are not afraid to show their tenderness and gentle ways and are an inspiration for men (and women). both young and old,… they are certainly an inspiration for me, I just melt when I see them.

364. The tenderness and care that Curtis Benhayon brings to a session is something all men and women can aspire to, it really is life changing. To face the fact that no matter what life has thrown at us and how hard we have worked or become, we are all capable of reaching such levels of tenderness with ourselves and all others.

365. It’s so great to get coffee and sugar out of the system and realise that the body certainly does not need these substances to get through the day and if it does, we seriously need to look at our lifestyles.

366. Beautiful blog Judy that honours the immense tenderness that Curtis Benhayon has embodied that truly introduces us once more to the real meaning of Love. I too found this a challenge to begin with because I had hardened up so much in a vain attempt to protect myself, that I was suspicious of everyone and everything. However, because we are all essentially tender, delicate gorgeous beings, something in our bodies automatically knows it can trust Love when we meet it and this is so true in the case of Curtis Benhayon. His entire countenance oozes respect, integrity, grace and tenderness and he is without exception a true role model for both men and women, empowering us to truly respect and love ourselves, our bodies and one another as we are naturally, innately supposed to do.

367. ‘How a man can be deeply tender and, in this case, more tender than most of the women I know, and this includes myself!’ I too have experienced this with Curtis Benhayon – and it was quite revelatory the first time I had a session with him, to feel his deep tenderness. It has inspired me to become more tender with myself – still a work in progress….

368. Judy, I absolutely agree with you, ‘it is just not true that males are strong, brave and seem to be a lot less tender-hearted than females’. I see this at schools, boys are praised for being ‘brave’ when they hurt themselves and they want to be strong because there is a very strong ideal that this is important in boys, so when I see boys playing together it is often in a hard, rough way, however when the boys are on their own they are so sweet and tender, it feels like there is an expectation in boys playing together that they do not show this tenderness and sweetness.

     1. Its true Rebecca and boys are congratulated for being brave and rewarded for being tough. Yet boys are ‘so sweet and tender’.

369. Fabulous blog Judy. ‘I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.’ I too was brought up to believe this to be the case. Feeling the tenderness and truth in a body work session from Curtis Benhayon is so beautiful – and so healing on many levels.

370. I remember sitting in the waiting room for my first session with Curtis Benhayon and seeing the way he opened a door, the way his hands were so tender on the door handle, and closed it with such care. Every move was considered.

371. I remember having my very first session with Curtis Benhayon and was blown away by his tenderness. I initially went with the sole purpose to have a new marker in my body of what it felt like to be treated with such absolute tenderness and care, and as said was blown away. I had never felt anything like it, and was not expecting it to be honest – it totally melted me, and also let me feel how far away from tenderness I had been and was living and treating myself with. But also allowed me to feel I have this same level of tenderness and care within me, otherwise I wouldn’t be aware of it.

372. What this blog makes clear is the devastating effects of growing in total solitude in the sense of growing in a world that does not offer true loving reflections and hence not really knowing how different things can be and feel. Without true refections no wonder why we buy into images and go for them till we become a walking one.

     1. I totally agree Eduardo there are too few, although the number is growing, of true loving reflections in the world from whom we can feel love, tenderness and the grace of God. The reflections for most people today will be confirming their beliefs not lovingly cracking them open to shine light into the dark.

373. You don’t need to have a session with Curtis Benhayon to feel and be graced by his tenderness, it’s in his eyes, the way he moves, opens a door, his smile, it’s in his presence.

374. Curtis Benhayon is the epitome of tenderness.

375. What I realised when reading this blog is the importance of letting in. Tenderness is ‘just’ a word before we Truly open up and feel it. Last week I had a similar session, also with a very tender man, where I allowed myself to feel my exquisite sensitivity. I’ve been in the illusion that before Truly being with me, that I needed to have healed all my hurts. Which is totally not True. It is in fact a surrendering to the Tenderness, Grace and Power within. Being with that sensitivity on my own and then in the world is something I have to give myself permission to.

376. A gorgeous blog Judy. I can feel the wonder of your new experiences and the joy it is bringing you.

     1. Yes Rebecca, that’s what I’ve felt to when I read Judy’s blog, such an aliveness, an opening up to the beautiful tender precious woman she is, what a joy to read as well.

     2. Hi Rebecca you used a word I didn’t and it is so true ‘the wonder’ I felt at this tenderness which is also in me and everyone.

377. It’s amazing how much we use caffeine and sugar and other stimulants to prop ourselves up, but underneath those desires to have these props is a loving body that could offer us so much more in terms of quality of life. I know this from the times I have given up stimulating food or entertainment and how much more quality I have felt in my body after the initial struggle and empty feelings subside.

     1. I love your observation Stephen that underneath the desires for caffeine and sugar ‘is a loving body that could offer us so much more in terms of quality of life’. This is so true letting go of things which stimulate the body in a way it does not need to be stimulated is very freeing. It brings a whole new level of stillness and quality to the body.

378. ‘Within this new walking posture I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice.’ Thank you for sharing the amazing reflection of tenderness you received in your session with Curtis Benhayon and the ongoing impact that this had had in your life and how you walk through it.

379. Curtis is amazing. What he can show us is an amazing way to be, to live and express through our movements.

380. Thank you Judy, how important to become aware about the images we have of men and woman. Since being in touch with the Student Body of Universal Medicine and meeting many beautiful and tender men I was able to let go of the image I had about men (hard and rough) and now I can see how very tender men are. And equally can see how far away woman have lived from being tender and sensitive to compete with men. So no wonder that relationships do not work and divorce rates are rising if we don’t allow ourselves to be open and tender as a new born baby, and play roles we are not, to fulfill the image.

381. Thank you Judy for writing about your experiences with Curtis Benhayon and the changes which have occurred within your body. Having had several sessions with Curtis myself I know of the tenderness you speak of and yes it was quite an eye opener at first to feel that level of tenderness from a man, and got me to realise that I was short changing men by dismissing this side to them.

     1. Hi Julie, I totally agree we grow up with ideals and beliefs about what women and men are supposed to be and those beliefs mean we ‘short change men by dismissing this side to them’.

382. An esoteric bodywork session offered by a man in all the tenderness that he is gives us the choice to feel an equal tenderness within our own body that we have constantly overridden in a drive to ‘get things done’.

     1. True – and this is very exposing of how we run our own bodies and a marker of our own potential and the deep harmony that is equally available to us all.

383. A very beautiful blog Judy – thank you. I felt deeply touched reading about your deeper knowing of tenderness as felt by you, and by the reflection of Curtis Benhayon.

384. This is beautiful Judy and really inspiring to have you write about this experience as I too have had profound experiences with Curtis Benhayon so much so that it has brought me to tears. It is not very often you see and feel a man such a he act and share in this way and yet it is so very healing on so many levels.

     1. Yes aminatumi, I’m very much with you. To feel man as tender as Curtis Benhayon has left me with a reference point, a marker if you will, for myself that i can’t turn back from. Curtis has reflected to me how tender I can be with myself in the full honouring of the woman I am.

385. Witnessing men in their essence, is so beautiful to bear witness to. It makes me melt. I see now why in the past I found myself attracted to men who were a bit rough, this was because of how ‘rough’ or for a better term, just plain ‘unloving’, I was with myself. Men, like Curtis Benhayon, who are dedicated to true relationship with themselves and, showing and allowing another way for men to be – truly tender and gorgeously themselves – sets a new platform. Men in their essence, LOVE IT!

     1. Madeleine yes you actually said it all, Men, like Curtis Benhayon, who are dedicated to true relationship with themselves and showing and allowing another way for men to be (and women)’ It really is a dedication that Curtis brings to his way of being. Thank you for that point.

386. When a single session of a tender massage given by a man can be a turning point in one’s life – what is our true power? Are we living it? Thanks for having role models in our lives like Curtis Benhayon! And thanks to you, Judy, for letting this love in!

     1. We live governed by images. Our bodies pay for that but we know no different. Yet, a 45 minute session made under the movement of deep tenderness of which Curtis Benhayon is a real master, is enough to show us what is true and what is not. Tenderness initiates a movement in us to that helps us dissolve the grip images have on us.

     2. Exactly Felix, the power that a man holds when he lives and shares the precious tenderness that he is, is totally awe inspiring!

     3. Wow Felix you went straight to the heart with this comment. This experience was of true power and we can all live it by choice. Thank you

     4. This is a great point that you make Felix. “It takes two to tango.” Curtis Benhayon’s power and tenderness can only be let in if the door is open – mind you, you don’t need to open it much ‘cos once you feel it, you’re gonna want as much as you can get your hands on, or his hands on you, or….I’m getting confused…you get my point!

387. The way of living you described Judy has become so accepted and ‘the norm’, drinking caffeine to get through the day is seen as nothing extreme, it is normal and this exposes actually how the way we are living can not be truly working. What you offer here is a possibility of change when we are willing to finally listen to our bodies and surrender to the deep wisdom it holds when it is cared and loved for. I mean the struggle does not really need to be there! It is the way we are choosing to live that gets reflected back in how life is (feeling) to us. It is only that we have to realise this and then we can make the choice to change.

     1. The norm is to move in a way that is not true.

        1. Yes Eduardo, the norm has become to move in way that is not true, that is to live in a way that is not honouring of our bodies. We are living in them so it is really good to look at why we are not taking deep care of them – it simply does not make sense.

388. Judy I so enjoyed reading what you’ve shared and love the beautiful appreciation of both Curtis and yourself that you have expressed in your blog. It goes to show how every movement, every thought, every choice we make has an effect on our overall wellbeing. Ideals and beliefs can be so insidious and we can use them to stop us from truly knowing, feeling and seeing our worth. We are tender, we are loving, it is simply remembering that these are our innate qualities and choosing to live them in our everyday.

     1. Well said Jade, ‘we are tender, we are loving, it is simply remembering’ once we have been reminded by reflection from one another (since life the way it is lived today does not generally show us tenderness) we recognise it is within and can choose to live and feel that love and tenderness. From that choice we can recognise love in others even though they may not yet be living that way, since the truth is that is who we are and we are not the outer shell we often harden to use as protection.

389. Thank you for sharing Judy, it is amazing to feel the tenderness in Curtis Benhayon you described. It reminds me of what it is like to feel this deep love and tenderness in my body and commit to living with myself in that way.

390. This is a great example of how the interaction between a man and woman can evolve each other. The woman inspired by the true tenderness of a man facilitates a woman to drop her guard, drop any tension, allowing her to drop into her natural stillness and sacredness. Restorative and evolving for all.

     1. Very well said Johanne – ‘ The woman inspired by the true tenderness of a man facilitates a woman to drop her guard, drop any tension, allowing her to drop into her natural stillness and sacredness. ‘

     2. Yes Johanne, what great beauty there is in your words here – “The woman inspired by the true tenderness of a man facilitates a woman to drop her guard, drop any tension, allowing her to drop into her natural stillness and sacredness.” – yes, it shows the symphony of the male and female together as one…and as the woman drops her guard, so too can the man go deeper in his own sacredness. And so on, both ways to evolve as you say. This is true relationship and a match made in Heaven lived on Earth.

391. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your experience Judy. It was beautiful to read.

392. What touched me Judy is the way you describe “as I begin to feel what tenderness truly is, that I can see how I really have not been tender with myself”. We can come to this awareness after we have made the loving choice to take care for ourselves first and to bring self-love into our lives. By doing so we take off the protective layers we carry with us that makes it impossible for us to feel that tenderness that we all equally carry within.

     1. Yes, it is just taking off all the armour we have put on, step by step, and starting to feel the tender moves our body feels to move in.

        1. And that is such a lovely feeling Esther that tenderly movement of my body. I still cannot understand that I’ve walked away from this but I did and that is the honesty I have to come too. I have purposely walked away from the divine being I am, but thanks to Serge Benhayon I am back on my original tracks again and on my way of return to that exquisiteness our being and bodies actually are.

     2. Really great point Nico and the tenderness we can begin to live and deepen as we feel it.

     3. Yes Nico removing the protective layers to allow the tenderness to be felt is a gorgeous feeling – aligning to the tenderness again has brought a feeling of steadiness that was never there before, quite a stark contrast to what was the norm.

     4. So true Nico, and it takes the reflection of a truly tender man, like Curtis Benahyon to actually feel for the first time in a long while what tenderness truly feels like in the body, to then be able to make that loving choice for yourself.

        1. Indeed Judith, we truly need the reflection of a truly tender man, like Curtis Benhayon, to remind ourselves of the fact that that same quality also lives within us and what we have not dared to live for a long time.

     5. It is truly beautiful to commit to ourselves and allow the self care to dissolve the layers we carry… so that we begin to feel the true beauty and experience the enormity of what has been hidden but waiting for us all along.

393. I remember trying to move like Curtis Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon because I saw that there were some qualities that I wanted to bring into the way I was and how I moved my body. Yes, I had constructed an image and ideal about what tenderness should look like, instead of trusting that they were already there within me. What I have learnt is that it is simply about settling back into the body and connect, and what I am finding is that tenderness keeps drawing me back into the body to allow more of that to be expressed in every movement.

     1. This is very important. It is not about abandoning one picture and adopting the next one, allowing it to dictate what is tenderness and leaving for us only to copy it to make it ours. It is about developing this feeling based on our own movement. Of course, the less polluted the body is, the more we will move in a way that is true and recognise it as such.

     2. Wow Fumiyo this is an important sharing. Yes, we all have that naturally within us so when we try to live up to an ideal we move further away from the truth of who we naturally are.

     3. There goes that word again Fumiyo, ‘trying’ ~ I’ve don’t this myself, being so in awe of Natalie, Curtis and Serge Benhayon that I have tried to emulate their walk, but as we know there is no trying necessary, we are all it, so it is a matter of connecting to our bodies and allowing our body to come back to its innate tenderness. Humanity is so shrouded in layers of protection and hurts that it may take some while for this to come into their consciousness, so it is a good job we have the Benhayons to reflect to all of us what it is to walk in truth.

     4. Thank you for sharing that one Fumiyo. We get so caught up in images and the “supposed to’s “. As you share, all that’s needed is a connection to ourselves and we already know what’s true for us.

394. Thank you for your sharing. Curtis is an amazing practitioner, lives the tenderness with in and I have to say every body work session for me has been yet another turning point in my life.

     1. That’s awesome jonanna08smith, and therein lies the responsibility of a true esoteric practitioner, to live what they practice, and that is what is truly felt.

     2. I agree Curtis has a naturally profound understanding of the body and how it responds to the way we treat it.

     3. I agree Johanna08smith, likewise for me. The first session I had with Curtis I was blown away by his tenderness, wisdom and respect. He held me as an absolute equal and what he shared was without doubt a turning point in my life.

395. We learn to sacrifice the quality for the sake of time and the outcome driven by images, and later we find ourselves left with emptiness and wonder why.

     1. We can follow these images all of our lives and still not reach where we truly yearn to be, and that is living from our inner heart.

     2. Beautifully said Fumiyo… and so true!

     3. This is it Fumiyo, it exposes how it doesn’t matter how much we ‘get done’ or accomplish, if we are not with ourselves doing it, abusing ourselves with pressure and not listening to our bodies we are going to feel empty after it.

     4. Ooo Fumiyo ‘we learn to sacrifice the quality for the sake of time’ wow what a jewel of a comment. When we reflect true movement to those around us then we all have the potential to let go of sacrifice and outcomes and just be.

396. Thank you, Judy, for your beautiful sharing. This has reminded me the marker I have also had from receiving a session from Curtis Benhayon, and how he moves in his body. He truly brings Heaven through his touch – which is so tender that awakens the sameness in the receiver/observer, if that makes sense.

     1. I absolutely agree Fumiyo that Curtis Benhayon “truly brings Heaven through his touch”. The incredible level of tenderness that I felt in my first massage with him was something that I had never experienced before, and something I never thought possible until that moment.

     2. Not by chance Curtis Benhayon brings True Movement forth.

     3. Absolutely Fumiyo it makes complete sense you actually recognise that same tenderness within yourself as Curtis lives and it is an opportunity to choose to also live a deeper level of tenderness since it is what we all are within.

     4. I agree Fumiyo, and when Curtis walks passed me I can’t take my eyes of him as there is definitely something different about the way he moves. And in answer to your question, it makes perfect sense that what Curtis is doing is reminding your body that it is that tenderness too.

     5. I agree – Curtis Benhayon embodies true, harmonious movement and absolute tenderness to the hilt. He is a great inspiration for us all.

     6. Makes total sense Fumiyo 👌🏼 I agree, Curtis gives a hint for what is possible in us also.

397. Beautiful Judy. As you described your session with Curtis I remembered mine from over 2 years ago but it all came back as if it was yesterday! I can feel it straight back in my body and as I write this I can feel the healing that offers. Just by you writing, I reconnect and feel it too so thank you!

     1. That’s beautiful Lucy

398. Gorgeous Judy. It takes it back to the simple choice to be responsible for every movement of expression we make. It so easy and yet we sometimes we get stuck in our old patterns. It’s a great knowing we have that we can simply change our movements at anytime when we are connected within.

     1. The power of movement is extraordinary in breaking us out of ways that are not serving us… and therefore it is our responsibility to choose wisely or suffer in a movement of our own making whilst inspiring no one as to what is possible.

399. “I falsely believed that to be successful means working really hard and doing whatever needs to be done, regardless of my physicality and how tired I, or anyone else, might be. I would always push through to get everything finished.” I can so relate to that, Judy, I was brought up to believe that I always had to work hard as a woman, to look after my husband and family in all possible ways, with no regard for myself. To look after myself I felt was being selfish, and no, a woman could never be selfish, she was on this earth to look after others. I lived that way for over 60 years, and it has taken me quite some years since to dispel that old belief of being selfish, and to learn to really treat myself gently and to pay close attention to all my own body’s needs. My last bodywork session with Curtis Benhayon was quite instrumental in my being able to go to a much deeper level in my self care, to stop feeling guilty if I was not able to carry out commitments I have made, if my body was not at that time up to the task. That for me has been such a relief, I was one who always felt a huge responsibility to carry out all commitments to the letter. Yes, I still feel that responsibility, but only to the point now that it is right for my body to do so at the time. Having returned by 2 plane trips home from a recent event, I am feeling quite fragile at the moment, and at last do not feel guilty that I am not yet carrying out all the commitments that I would like to. It will all be carried out, but at the pace and timing that is right for my body at the moment. I am no longer being driven by the ‘shoulds’ that we all have carried.

     1. Hi Beverley, I love your comments and this one in particular ‘I was one who always felt a huge responsibility to carry out all commitments to the letter. Yes, I still feel that responsibility, but only to the point now’ I too have lived most of my life with that sense of putting others first and therefore any arrangements made must be adhered to no matter how I felt. I still feel that belief lurking but do not let it override my body so much these days but I realise it is still there to be fully let go of.

400. Judy, this is a beautiful sharing of yours regarding how tender and gentle a man can be. I too have experienced all the points you listed in my last bodywork session with Curtis Benhayon. I have never, ever before been treated with such supreme tenderness by a man or a woman. The level of pure love that I could feel through him, which I could also feel in myself (for myself as well as for humanity) was enormous. I have found since that session, that I can feel that expanded level of love in myself some weeks later, it is deeply embodied in me now, it feels amazing. And I too have found that I move my body in a much lighter way now, much more deeply connected to myself. A life changing session for me.

401. I love Curtis Benhayon. What a man of seeming contradictions. He totally rocks and yet is the most tender person I have ever met. He is also both hot and cool!

402. Yes Marika, Curtis’s tenderness reminds us just how precious we are and just how precious we need to be with others. It demonstrates the deep level of respect that such a tenderness can bring.

     1. Beautifully spoken Kathleen!

     2. I feel the same, Marika and Kathleen. Curtis Benhayon’s tenderness reminds me how precious and tender we are from our natural expression, and it shows to me how far away from my natural expression I often am.

403. Judy thank you for your sharing. It is amazing how much the way we move affects us on every level. And if our posture is ‘out’ or unsupportive, even in sitting, it affects us instantly. Many of us slouch and in so doing it makes us feel pretty average or not so good at all. As soon as we correct the posture, our whole being lightens up. I love how you shared about the walking and how we can move and walk in way that opens us up, or of course we can choose to go back to old ways of movement that hold us incarcerated in the old way of being.

     1. Absolutely it is our movements and posture with our body that determines the way we feel and even the quality of thoughts we have. We ourselves magnify one way of being or another by the choices of how we move.

        1. Spot on Johanna! Now this is a science not everyone is aware of and yet it is a science that is simple and easy to understand and a science that needs to be shared and publicised! Movement and posture are key factors – as you have said Johanna, they affect how we feel and even the quality of our thoughts. I would suggest to anyone to give this a try – slouch and observe the kind of thoughts you have; then sit up straight and observe your thoughts – such a simple act but very powerful indeed. If we could but bring more awareness to our movements, then we can change so much of the way we live and the energy that constantly moves through us.

404. Thank Judy for opening this discussion. Curtis Benhayon’s exquisite tenderness is so worth celebrating. His tenderness reminds us just how precious we are and just how far away we are from treating ourselves and others in this same tenderness that is also within us all. His tenderness reminds us that by divine design we can be one with everything because there is no separation. It shows us that separation is but a resistance to a push, an assertion, an identification, to even the tiniest iota of hardening for with absolute tenderness there is no resistance to the love that this naturally brings.

     1. I agree Kathleen. Curtis is a solid marker of the deep tenderness that is possible for us to live each and every day and how that then becomes a true reflection in our physical bodies.

405. Being image free feels awesome, everything is an exploration, any image feels limiting, a bit suffocating really. Yet in life we are bombarded by images in one way or another, but the more spacious we feel, the less images can grab us. When we honor our bodies in tenderness and care, the spaciousness we feel from within deepens.

     1. Beautifully said Adele.

406. Curtis Benhayon is an inspiration of tenderness, which is a quality not limited by gender but a quality from the connection with ourselves.

     1. So true, Adele, The tenderness Curtis lives is a beautiful reminder about what lives inside us all.

     2. Precisely Adele and yet the world thus far divides the two as being separate, so having Curtis Benhayon live this way with everyone equally is an amazing reflection for all.

     3. Agreed Adele, tenderness is not limited to gender but it is an innate quality for all that allows joy in our movement and connection to the universe.

     4. Well said Adele ‘a quality from the connection with ourselves.’ A connection we choose to live.

407. It’s a sobering moment when a practitioner treats you with a level and quality of tenderness, gentleness and lovingness that is far deeper and purer than you have ever given to yourself. It provides a raw wake-up call and sets a new marker for how we might choose to treat ourselves.

     1. I completely agree with you Cathy. And how beautiful is it when we allow that wake up call to happen.

     2. I agree Cathy. And no words are needed for this to be felt.

408. Oh our poor dear boys growing up in a world that seems to universally hold the same mis-truth, that boys are stronger emotionally, less tender and more insensitive than our girls. Oh the pain of the boys being birthed into such a suffocating environment for their natural selves.

409. Judy your transformative experience has resulted in a truly transformative article. I could feel my body listening attentively to every word that you shared from your body. It was a conversation between our bodies and not between the people we pretend to be.

     1. Thank you Alexis it is fact that the article came from my body and all it felt. Beautiful that we can connect in this way from who we truly are.

     2. Beuatiful Alexis, that goes to show how simple it truly is when we allow it.

410. Beautiful sharing thank you Judy. I can literally feel the change in your body, truly remarkable.

411. As a man it is also truly amazing to feel this tenderness and openness from another man; giving you permission to be this way too, to let go of the protection and feel all that you are too.

     1. Yes, someone living the truth of who we are, absolutely gives us permission to do the same.

     2. I can imagine Michael, and you are also super tender and open and an absolute inspiration.

     3. Lovely words Michael and so true – men are just as sensitive as women and equally yearning for tenderness.

     4. Yes Michael what a true wonderful gift to receive, deep love and tenderness, and then offer others.

412. What a beautiful experience Judy! As you say, you now hold a marker that is there to support you in everyday life. It is also a marker that confirms that, at their core, all human beings have the same love and purity, regardless of sex.Thank you for sharing.

413. Very beautiful Judy. When we allow ourselves to feel our tenderness we are, then we more able to see that in others both in men and women. We are all the same regardless of our age, gender or appearance deep down we are simply exquisite, tender and deeply loving.

     1. This is true. The depth of tenderness we go to eith ourselves is what we treat others with and also see them as before we see their choices or behaviour.

414. I adore Curtis Benhayon. With his tenderness and care, wisdom and playfulness…..
     What an inspiration he is to both men and women.

     1. Hear, hear!

     2. Me too. He is a gorgeous marker for men and women all around.

415. ‘Within this new walking posture I have found a re-awakened understanding and I know the depth of tenderness, honouring, clarity, love and wisdom we all can live ­– it is simply an ongoing choice.’
     Judy I loved what you have shared with us here and isn’t it amazing to feel the power of our choices?

416. The Soul is Joy, love, Harmony and truth.. we need tenderness in our bodies to know this and live it.

417. Tenderness is our natural way!

     1. Indeed it is harryjwhite – crazy, when you observe that the norm in socitey is the complete opposite and that we are continually being encouraged to toughen up and harden our bodies.

        1. Totally does not make sense Eva!

418. Beautiful Judy. This tenderness and openness is in us all – it is not related to gender – what an amazing reflection Curtis offers to both men and women. I have had a number of treatments with Curtis and even just talking to him, his tenderness is an inspiration.

     1. Lee, tenderness is indeed in us all, men and women alike. Sadly though in our society, women and men are not choosing the tenderness within, and are often opting for a hard front, a tough exterior and a protective stance. And some women even opt to be more tough than some men. As you have said, this is where it is so important that we get that inspiration from those who have not forgotten their natural and innate tenderness, from those that do not hold that front and the protection of toughness. Once we see and feel another being so naturally tender, we cannot help but yearn for that too, for deep within, we know that that is our natural way of being too, and we have the choice to be like that and in turn inspire another or others.

        1. I agree Henrietta and because the mass are living in this hard, pushed and unnatural way it means that after a period of time it becomes our normal and so to turn the tide can seem impossible and would definitely be harder to do.

        2. Absolutely Amina – even something unnatural can become the perceived ‘norm’ when we adopt it fully into our lives. Reverting back to the normal norm then can feel difficult to do – which is crazy really if you think about it! The most difficult part though is not actually making the change, it is realising that the norm we have adopted is not the norm that is naturally so – and so it is about letting go go the false norm so that we can more easily re-embrace the true norm. If that makes any sense – normally it should 😉

     2. Yes I totally agree Lee and this shows the true power we are, when a conversation can bring us the reflection of divinity. Now this reflection we offer can be love or it can be a reflection of disregard and without love. This reminds me of the choice we all have to be one or the other.

419. To have tears flow spontaneously from your eyes because you are feeling the depth of the true tenderness of a man is pure beauty and deeply healing. It is life changing. This was my experience of Curtis Benhayon and is what he brings routinely to all his clients.

     1. Yes, men in their natural state of tenderness just melts me and is so deeply healing for a woman to experience.

420. It’s easy to make the act of nurturing and loving ourselves into a ‘thing’, a checkbox that we tick. But what I hear and feel in your words Judy is that its the quality of movement that we bring, to everything that defines how connected and tender we will be and our level of healing. Thank you for sharing this in such a beautiful honouring of Curtis.

     1. totally agree Joseph! Tenderness is a way of moving in life, and one can remain tender – through travel, through work and through navigating public transport!

     2. Wow, Joseph. “Thank you for sharing this in such a beautiful honouring of Curtis.”

421. Tenderness is the natural expression of our Soul, but a part of us separated from this and crafted a life in hardness in order to cope in a world set up to not support the truth of who we are. Returning to this tenderness is an exquisite homecoming for in it we begin to feel that we are held in and by great hands of love (God) that have never let go.

     1. I so agree Liane and Curtis Benhayon gives us the best example of the tenderness that is possible and there for us all to return to. He is tenderness in motion.

        1. ha ha love it Kathleen – tenderness in motion – what a great new expression. I absolutely love the way Curtis places the towels over me in a session so I am already deeply relaxed from the first moment. Yes, indeed, Curtis is deeply tender and gorgeous and yet there is nothing soft about him. He is a very wise, strong and powerful man so in that we discover what true tenderness is which is often quite different to our ideas and image.

        2. Absolutely Kathleen, this is true movement in motion.

     2. Exquisitely said Liane! Returning to tenderness is a homecoming and a time we get to feel so held – what a blessing we can say yes to!

        1. I agree Henrietta. When I first felt and saw the tenderness of The Benhayons I felt a very familiar coming home feeling.

        2. Johanna, I have experienced the homecoming feeling of tenderness as almost spellbinding – I recall moments of feeling it being so special and exquisite – it was like time ceased to exist and that everything around me was happening in slow motion. All that matters in that moment is feeling ones own tenderness and the tenderness of another, and a knowing that this is true, this is home. The Benhayon’s have been leading the way back to tenderness for us all!

     3. So very true, Liane. Beautifully said.

422. Fantastic blog Judy, wow, so real straight and honest – I love it and it really triggers me to dig deeper within myself. Have I accepted myself as a tender woman, or have I walked on hard grass? Interesting really, also to feel how ideals
     destruct true nature and what is really inside us. Powerful words and so I look forward to part 2. Thank you so much. I will share.

     1. Hi Danna, Yes some things in life are here to be shared, love and tenderness and the fact we all are this within. Part 2 – now there is something to ponder on. Thank you.

        1. I am looking forward to more sharing by you.. All those ideals and believes we better shake off and discard as soon as possible, so that we can be free and truly ourselves.

423. To deeply nurture ourselves is not rocket science, but observing our reaction and resistance to it you would think it was! But as you have outlined beautifully Judy, the moves are simple, yet the changes profound. Indeed, the most difficult thing about our return to love is simply the choice to just be it. It is our past momentums that trip us up for we have made living less than ‘the everything we are’, the norm. Therefore, it can at times seem that it is far easier to not live the love that we are, than to simply live it. But this is not true. We are love and as such we are divinely designed to express that which we are in the simplest of ways.

     1. Yes Liane, those darn past momentums that keep tripping us up and are stopping us from living our divine design are well worth leaving behind!

     2. We have made living less the norm. Well said Liane and sadly it is true. We accept far less and hence the state of abuse in our world.

        1. Very true Laura.

     3. Absolutely Liane, some reactions are like deep holes we fall into and thanks to the continuous love of our soul we can eventually, with true movement, climb our way out of any situation.

     4. Hi Liane so true feeling almost the shock in my body at the fact of how deep tenderness can be lived revealed how far from it I had chosen to live and an ongoing choice to now share tenderness with myself and therefore others.

     5. …’we are divinely designed to express that which we are in the simplest of ways’…. and yet it is our choice to complicate the simplicity that denies us and everyone around us the beauty, power and inspiration, inherent in such divinity.

        1. And this complication we so willingly invite in, is a detour we take to delay living the love that we are. And why are we choosing delay if living love is so exquisite? From my experience I have found that before we can fully live that which we truly are, we need to feel and thus renounce that which we truly are not. That’s the bit that hurts – it hurts our pride and it pains us deep to feel all that we have lived in place of this love.

424. ‘but men are naturally and deeply tender,’ men are great big teddy bears if they but allow themselves to show it. Behaving otherwise shows the extent to which we have imposed a way of being on men which is completely unnatural.

425. One of the most memorable experiences I have had with Esoteric healing is not the session itself but the way a male practitioner laid a blanket over me at the beginning of the session. I loved the way it felt to be treated with such care and preciousness and realised in that moment that the way I treated my body was far from that. Indeed men can be way more tender than many women treat themselves.

426. Thank you Judy for being so open and sharing this with everyone. I so understand the pushing through to get things done. To be honest, it’s only in recent months have I recognised what was going on and this being a cause of my period pain.

     1. Thank you Shevon. Our body doesn’t hold back in showing us when we are not living with tenderness and gentleness. It is awesome to be aware of the pain your body was expressing, you didn’t choose to numb it and pretend it’s not there, this is inspiring. Great to be aware and understand why, to support us to make different choices.

     2. I am sure we can all relate to the feeling that there is never enough time and when we are caught in that trap it is true. However, once we connect to space a whole new world opens up that is not ruled by time – almost like stepping from darkness to light.

427. Judy isn’t it crazy what we grow up to believe? I too have had various revelations around Men and what they are supposed to be/look like. I’ve swayed between accepting they are gentle beings, to then feeling like I needed them to be tough and harder than Women, to then experiencing what a strong self assured and super gentle man, actually looks like, and boy does that feel like the real thing. We really are bombarded with so much imagery to box people in to. It’s crazy.

428. Discovering looking after your self with the care and honouring of a new born baby is so beautiful to feel and so inspiring as is the tenderness and deep care of Curtis, Michael and Serge Benhayon. These are true inspirations for who we really are and the depth of care we can all live and be with ourselves and others every moment lovingly.

     1. Yes, we are all precious as adults, just as we were when we were children.

429. Yes, Judy, until I started to connect to my body I had no idea of how tender and delicate it is and the deeper I go the more delicate I feel. It is so exposing of how we are existing in a world that is foreign to who we all are. Now we can offer a reflection of the truth as we move in the truth of who we are – delicate and tender beings.

     1. It is shocking to look around and see how far we all live from who we innately are to the point that this falseness has become the norm. Thank goodness for people choosing to embrace and express our truly stunning inner qualities and show the world who we all really are underneath the protection and facades.

430. The whole setup of men being the protector, the hardened and tough one in the family, not affected by pain or hurt, so tough they never cry – it shakes me to the core to know that I have believed these things in the past and that how this is so damaging to the amazingly tender and beautiful men but also how it sets women up to be locked into the opposite of this or to strive to be something that does not exist. This old image has been exposed for its nasty and twisted manipulation of us all . Opening to and connecting to the true level of tender, fragile and exquisitely loving essence of ‘man’ feels so freeing in my body. A deeply honouring and joyful blog Judy – Thank you.

431. The level of love, care, tenderness and respect that Curtis Benhayon offers in his sessions are a true marker of the quality of connection that can be our normal between people if we so choose this for ourselves.

     1. Hi Donna, oh the respect yes its as deep as the deepest ocean ever seen. It is such a revelation for me that it can lived so deeply.

     2. Great comment Donna, the way Curtis Benhayon is and lives is our true normal, it is just abnormal to how most live today. Deep appreciation to Curtis who is prepared to go against the “norm” and show us what true normal is.

     3. I agree, Donna, and I remember saying to Curtis one day that his child will be so blessed with having him as their father, because what Curtis offers all his clients he equally offers his family and everyone else.

        1. Gosh Robyn how true, imagine growing up as a boy and being surrounded by such deep tenderness from your father how utterly beautiful.

432. I too have come to appreciate the absolute tenderness that is there in men. It is super yummy and delicious and they are oh so precious. I am deeply grateful to Serge Benhayon, Curtis and Michael Benhayon and the many men that I have met at the Universal Medicine courses that have reflected to me the true depth and beauty that there is within every man.

     1. I have found this too Donna. You can be fooled by the exterior that men present but they are so gorgeous inside. I see this a lot in my male patients, especially the older men who perhaps don’t feel they have so much to lose by letting the exterior drop. It has only been through feeling the essence of people, as presented by Universal Medicine that I have taken a second look at men. Now I just know their tenderness to be at their core and ‘look’ for it, rather than being put off by any outer presentation.

     2. Before meeting these men Donna, I didn’t know that tender men existed – truly. Of course they did, but I wasn’t tender with myself and therefore hadn’t noticed them. To be around a man who is tender with himself is just delicious and offers everyone around him the opportunity to be the same if they haven’t yet chosen that for themselves.

     3. Donna I could not agree more – these three men are shining examples of the level of tenderness and beauty that is natural for men. They simply reflect what is possible and available for all men if they so choose.

433. It is such a blessing, and deeply healing to experience a man expressing and deeply honouring himself in what he does. Curtis Benhayon is an exquisite example of living this love and care.

     1. It absolutely is. There is a true strength, commitment and powerfulness about it that has nothing to do with arrogance or being tough etc. It’s amazing.

     2. Yes Victoria as anyone who had ever had a session with Curtis would agree and vouch for what you say here, I certainly do, as Curtis Benhayon has taken tenderness to a whole other level that is an inspiration to us all.

        1. Yes, well said, Marika, your comment has reminded me of the utter most importance of deepening our tenderness. Curtis is a great example of this and we can all take a leaf out of his book. There is no end to the deepening of our expression of tenderness.

434. We are not taught from young to take such care and tenderness with our bodies and feel rather than ‘think’ we know what is needed based getting the ‘job’ done. I know the love and tenderness you speak of in your session with Curtis Benhayon as I have also experienced this level of care and clarity in a session with him. Bringing this quality to our movements is a relationship I am enjoying rediscovering.

435. Judy, what you share here highlights how power-full but equally crucial it is for men to not only re-connect to their innate tenderness but to not hold it back from sharing it with the world. We can all benefit from such love as your experience so beautifully shows

     1. Hi Joshua yes if we hold back then who suffers – we all do and to feel such depth of tenderness is the most incredible gift we can share and it is who we are.

        1. Well said Judy. And what does this very fact highlight about our state of living as a society when by holding back are we denying ourselves the true quality and wellness of living we in truth seek?

        2. Yes Judy holding back our tenderness sends the message to others that they also need to hold back theirs. Whereas allowing our tenderness to develop and deepen inspires others to drop their protection and begin to grow and rediscover their own tenderness.

436. It is so beautiful to feel in another what is actually within us all the time. We had just chosen to not express it in full. Beautiful sharing, Judy. Thank you.

     1. I love what you’ve said there Anne and can relate to that. Curtis Benhayon is truly inspiring in this way.

437. “Being offered the space to feel everything going on in my body, including the initial tension at being offered such deep tenderness”. Isnt that a beautiful revelation Judy. I know how uncomfortable that tension feels having also had sessions with Curtis Benhayon. I almost felt ashamed that I did not hold that same level of tenderness within me. However Curtis simply by the way he works and lives, shows us that we all have that same tenderness equally and it is our choice to embody more of it or not. I understand now that I am simply being given the opportunity in any session with Curtis, to appreciate the ever deepening levels of tenderness that are possible and to embrace them to the best of my ability.

     1. Hi Jeanette, Yes it is a beautiful revelation and so very worth it to come to the realisation that we are all that same love and tenderness its just a matter of choosing how we live.

     2. It is very strongly felt in sessions with Curtis Benhayon that the way he moves and treats his body is equally possible in us all. We just haven’t made the same choices. This is a great gift to anyone he trees, as he does not set himself up as better, but offers the living proof of what is possible.

     3. Beautifully said Jeanette, and isn’t that what we all bring to another, in living our true quality we allow the world to experience this part of the universe and within it the whole of the universe. It never makes us grander or smaller but holds us as the equal parts that we are.

        1. That is beautiful to read Esther and to feel the grandness we equally are with the Universe and everything in it.

438. I find it fascinating how we can be attached and deeply embedded with ideals and beliefs and how this has an enormous impact on how the body feels, functions and communicates to you. What is so incredible with the sessions in the Esoteric Body Work, and ones that I have felt with Curtis Benhayon, is how you do feel after them. It is like a complete re-alignment has happened to the body and your walk is so different to when you walked in before the session. Being able to let go deeply in the session and then to keep choosing this surrendered way of being after the session, makes this the foundation for allowing yourself to be who you are naturally without any influences.

     1. Yes Natalie and I feel that it is the tenderness that Curtis Benhayon brings to a session that allows the process you have described here as the cells of the body have no resistance to tenderness, only to hardness, therefore the surrender to healing and structural re-alignment is all the more possible.

        1. Yes our resistance is to the hardness we generally feel around us but we melt when we are met with tenderness and this allows for a deep and healing surrender. Beautiful to appreciate.

        2. I love what you are saying here Kathleen. When we are met with and held in tenderness our bodies naturally respond to this quality as our particles are given the space to return to their natural rhythm.

439. And it’s awesome what you’ve shared Judy about having that marker in your body. Once we get such strong feelings it’s as if we can’t shake it off. Only through our repeated choices we can chip away at it again as we have done with our sensitivity while growing up. It’s an each step by step choice that builds our quality – only two types of which we can choose to build and it’s always one or the other.

     1. Goodness Leigh yes we can choose to chip away again. Our ongoing quality is a choice and everyone chooses even though we may sometimes deny the fact.

440. Men can be tender and sensitive and delicate – I never would of said this had I never met the Benhayon men Serge, Michael and Curtis. And while I do not see them regularly how they live has inspired many men within the student body to show that such a way is possible for men to live.

     1. True Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon have been amazing role models showing us all the true loving, sensitive, tender and deeply wise nature of men and have inspired loads of men to embrace their true qualities. And as a woman I too have been inspired by them to be more delicate, loving and honouring of myself. I recall the first few times I received a treatment from Curtis I was moved to tears because I felt a tenderness and an honouring in his touch far deeper than I had ever offered myself.

        1. I too have been moved to tears by the delicacy offered in Curtis’s sessions… showing me the enormity of love and tenderness that I not only could treat myself with if I chose to, but in a depth and quality that I absolutely deserved to receive.

     2. I am the same Leigh, I deeply appreciate the qualities they constantly reflect whenever I see them reminding me that I am the same too.

     3. A lot of men are strong, brave and extremely tender and sensitive. In fact, initially it appears to take strength and courage to allow the natural expression in a world that asks us to be everything other than who we truly are.

     4. I agree, Leigh, I had never realised or felt how tender, sensitive and delicate a man could be until I met the Benhayon men. What amazing role models they are for all men of just how delicate a man can be, and yet still be so very powerful. And for women too, we also have been living with a hardness, trying to prove that we can be as good as men, or even better. How crazy we have been in treating our bodies in this way. Through meeting the Benhayon family and attending Universal Medicine presentations and healing workshops, I have learned that I too have this innate tenderness and delicateness within me, and am choosing to treat myself honouring myself as such. And I have also now met quite a number of beautiful men who are also choosing to live as the true, tender, sensitive and delicate men that I love to now spend time with.

     5. So true Leigh. You would never have said it – even though you, me and all of us have missed it so very deeply.

441. Beautiful blog Judy, it is true that we all can live a deep tenderness, if we only allow ourself to be so and support it with every choice we make.

442. “I never considered that I deserved to care for myself with the same preciousness as a new-born baby, ” I love this line, it makes you stop in your tracks as those qualities that we come with, fresh and unaffected, are still there with us, we just chose to walk away from them and we can choose to walk back.

     1. We do make that choice to walk away…but we always have that choice to come back, and that’s the beauty of choice and also self responsibility. We often don’t realise how much we actually create.

        1. I have been really looking at how much I create in all areas of my life positive and negative, it is amazing to see how I am creating drama to undo and deflect away from the love I have created.

     2. It is such a shame the way we are raised to become disregarding and abusive of our bodies. This is not our natural way when we are kids and if supported by the role models around us, we would not lose this naturally precious way. Thank goodness we have role models in people like Curtis Benhayon to show that it need not be lost as an adult.

        1. Agreed Fiona – far too often, we raise our children with a lack of regard for the natural tenderness in our bodies, but as you say, thank goodness for role models such as Curtis who reflect that it is possible to re-connect back to this.

        2. Indeed Fiona!

     3. I love this line you highlighted. I realise I have not really considered this too, to treat myself and others like a new-born baby. This blog and the amazing comments have inspired me to shift and allow myself to feel how precious we all are. Just because we are no longer a new-born doesn’t mean we don’t deserve the same treatment or quality of interaction and connection.

     4. At the airport last week, I saw a huge, scary looking, tattooed, leather clad, bearded man talking to a young child in the sweetest possible way – so playful and joyful. It made me wonder why we don’t all speak to each other like that and why so many only feel safe to express to babies and young children like that.

        1. Such a great reminder that we all have it in us.

     5. I agree, Nicole, it certainly makes me stop in my tracks to realise that I was born with that level of tenderness, and I made the choice to walk away from that, into a life of continual drive and lack of care for my body. How wonderful it is to realise that I can (and have to some extent) choose to walk back in that tenderness. Further to go in developing that deeper level, but how worthwhile it is, I now know I am worth it.

        1. I always thought that some people are more tender than other people but it is not true only some people deny and fight against their own sensitivity and tenderness. But as you say Beverley we have the choice to bring the quality of tenderness back into our lives and not to accept less.

     6. Me too nicolesjardin. It never occurred to me that I have this same tenderness, and that if we are all equal then we are all in need of being treated with this tenderness. If we can treat a baby with this tenderness then why not ourselves?

     7. It shows us that nothing that was once will ever be lost. We do know deep inside who we are and where we come from and how exquisitely precious we are but we need a reminder to help us return home and stop the search outside of us.

        1. I love this Esther ” that nothing that was once will ever be lost” such a powerful reminder if I ever want to go to the place of giving up.

        2. I agree Esther, and the best reminder is a reflection of someone else living that way. We have been graced to receive that reflection from Curtis and Serge Benhayon. Now it is our responsibility to also live that way and reflect it to others so we all receive that reminder.

        3. The other thing that strikes me is that we not only appear to need a reminder but also permission. It is weird but society seems to find it acceptable to swear at and insult each other whereas often we apologise for expressing love and tenderness. To see someone else living in a deeply loving and honouring way and thriving, also seems to give us the permission, support and courage to try it for ourselves. Once we try it out and experience the immense benefits there is no going back or to be more accurate it is all about going back to who we truly are!

        4. I absolutely agree with you Nicola it also gives us permission. It gives us permission as it simply reflects that it is ok to be and show how we feel on the inside.

     8. Very true Nicole – we can always make the choice to reconnect back to the preciousness of who we are. Key is to truly start to honour what we feel in our bodies.

     9. So well said Nicole

443. The level of tenderness, love, stillness, care and absolute respect that is offered in Curtis Benhayon’s sessions is exquisite. The deep honouring of the body and soul is felt to the bone.

     1. That is a great word Eva which truly describes the depth – exquisite – it is.

     2. Oh yes Eva! I have rarely experienced anything like it. When I lie on the table at a Curtis session I feel as if I am in the pyramids of old – the the power, the tenderness, the stillness and the love is all-encompassing, and I deeply realise what is possible – the sky is not the limit as there is no limit in this limitless love.

     3. I am completely with you Eva. The tenderness offered by Curtis Benhayon in his sessions is extraordinary to me and invites me to feel my own tenderness and to reconnect with it.

        1. Yes Nico, Curtis Benhayon sessions are an invitation and reminder that we are all equally tender in our essence, men and woman.

        2. That is another beauty as well Janina, that men and women are equally tender beings. How different is that with what we have been fed with to believe.

        3. That’s exactly it Nico, you can’t but melt and feel your own tenderness – and as you say it offers an opportunity to reconnect to what you feel in that instance.

444. A beautiful blog Judy – I too can very much relate to the enormous importance of my movements and how I can slip into the old ingrained patterns if I am dishonouring of what my body tells me in each moment. To consistently stay aware of my movements and the quality within them is for me a continuous unfolding learning and development.

     1. Awareness of my body and how I am moving it is an ongoing process. Every time I stop and check-in with my body, asking if I am fully supporting it to have ease and openness, I find there is some adjustment I can make. It could be something as simple as balancing the weight between my feet as I stand or opening my chest a little more. These little changes make all the difference to how I feel in and about myself. What a gift to share with people, the simplicity of this.

        1. Love what you share here Eva and Fiona as it shows how simple and important it is to take these stop moments to feel our body and become aware of how we move. It can make all the difference to how we feel within our day. Such a great sharing of how this unfolding for you Judy, Eva and Fiona.

     2. I agree Eva, and to practice consistency in staying aware of my movements has highlighted just how consistently I check out and leave myself – so it is definitely a continual unfolding of awareness and understanding of how this happens, but when I stay connected and present, my movements are far more honouring and confirming of who I truly am.

        1. I too have noticed how often I check out from truly being aware of my movements and my body will clearly remind me, sometimes immediately and sometimes later with a stronger message showing me the level of my disconnection. It is all about building presence and the willingness to feel everything that is there to be felt.

        2. And, I feel it is important to be open, honest and real about being seen in these movements. I know personally I have shied away from moving in such a way because of what other people thought of a big man like myself being ‘soft’ etc. I wait for others to do it first like Curtis, then I act in this tender way, when in truth it is me who is the shining example for both men and women to feel this innate quality coming from a man.

        3. It is exquisitely beautiful to walk with ourselves in this way, bringing tenderness to each movement and honouring the quality…. as if you’re embracing yourself with each step.

     3. Thank you for this reminder Eva. Not always being consciously aware of my movements is a pattern that I fall into at times too.

445. There is something to appreciate about the way Curtis Benhayon is with himself and others. Thanks for taking the time to put this appreciation on paper.

     1. Thank you Joel, were it not for men like Curtis who dare to show this deep love and tenderness in every movement so many of us would still be unaware it was possible.

        1. It shows how very important it is to not shy away from the deep care and tenderness we feel deep inside and allow us to live it.

        2. Completely judykarenyoung. Nothing like seeing someone living something to prove it’s possible.

     2. Absolutely Joel. Deep appreciation for Curtis Benhayon and the reflection and inspiration he offers.

     3. To experience a session with Curtis Benhayon was a beautiful reminder to what depth it is possible to live and express tenderness in everything we do. And it is a quality he lives 24/7 and not just in his session or with his familiy. He taught once in a massage course the responsibility we have to choose the quality for every movement we do.

        1. Yup, you really feel his dedication, is something that it not just saved up for the treatment room.

446. Curtis Benhayon and his sessions are a true reflection of what tenderness is. There is nothing like it.

     1. Agreed Mariette. Curtis Benhayon shows us all truly, what tenderness really is.

     2. I know right – I think I would pay the session fee just to have him put the eye pillows on my eyes. The way he does that is so incredibly tender – I have never experienced anything quite like it.

        1. What you wrote made me smile Sarah, as I probably would do the same just to feel that exquisite tenderness, even for a moment.

        2. This made me smile Sarah but it is so true that to experience such tenderness in the placing of an eye pillow or blanket is deeply healing.

        3. Sarah. What you say here is so huge. So simple and small and seemingly minor – which is exactly why it is so huge. If such a ‘mundane’ act as putting eye pillows on someone can have such a profound effect, imagine what else we can do? Someone very dear to me spoke to me about this a couple of days ago; we consider responsibility to be a dogma, a ball and chain, a restriction. But there is a totally different way of looking at it. Curtis Benhayon takes responsibility for his life, his choices, his movements. And thus, look what happens when he puts an eye pillow on someone. Yes – it is that simple. And thus, who wouldn’t want to have that power to inspire and heal humanity? The energetic fact of responsibility is something to be embraced and celebrated – because of the power it bestows upon us all.

        4. Haha Sarah that’s is so gorgeous to read ❤️

        5. Experiencing a session with Curtis is like nothing else. People talk about places to go or things to do before you die. For me I would put a session with Curtis right up there at the very top as it is not only beautiful but fundamentally life changing.

        6. Love what you write here Otto. Thank you for expanding this so beauty-fully. It is everything that Curtis lives and breathes that he brings to the treatment room which has such incredible power to heal – from the minor to the major. He is a shining example of living with great responsibility and with that brings much power to change and inspire.

     3. I so agree with you, Mariette, I have never ever experienced anything near as tender as my last session with Curtis Benhayon. And through it, I could truly experience the level of my own tenderness. I now honour that so much more deeply than ever before in myself. What a beautiful role model Curtis is for how a man can be living on this earth.

        1. The truest role model on earth. And beyond…

     4. Agree Mariette, the space that you are held in physically on the table and how deep you feel in your body I do not want to move from the table.

        1. Yes and to hold that tenderness after the session, that is the most challenging part. I am experimenting with not eating certain foods at the moment as this makes a huge difference as I can feel far more my tenderness when for instance I don’t eat things that make me feel heavy.

447. The problem with images is not just that they make us think in specific ways, but also that due to that we miss out what is out there and is worth feeling.

     1. True Eduardo, because we are so distracted by the pictures and we choose not to see beyond them into the real world.

     2. Or is it that we miss out on what is within and deeply felt but vehemently ignored?

        1. Agree Liane, we miss out on what is within and vehemently ignore it – and always at our own expense and misery.

        2. Yes Liane we not only miss out we actually reject our inner tenderness, joy, love and glory in favour of hardness, misery, abuse and depression – very strange choice!

        3. I really like this ‘vehemently ignored’ Liane! We are vehemently ignoring everything that is delicious, fun, joyful, expansive, all for the sake of keeping on living as separated, protected individual. We use up so much energy protecting and holding an image and ignoring the liberating truth that we end up living at half-mast or even worse, exhausted. What a trick!

        4. To me that’s it Liane, I have missed out on what I deeply felt but vehemently ignored and this way of living did exhausted me to a level where I was in need of external stimulants like coffee and sugar, but also idealistic images, to assist me in coping with the demands of life.

        5. The use of the word vehement is so precise and so important. It is vital that we really start to own the fact that we are very actively and consciously choosing (with full and absolute knowledge of exactly what we are doing) to ignore the gold that is within us. Only once we see the big picture will w be shaken in to doing something about it. This is certainly true for me.

        6. Yes Liane, it suits us to endulge in the ideals of a picture so that we can ignore the truth our bodies are presenting. If we listened to all that our bodies were communicating we would have to take responsibility for all of our choices.

     3. So true Eduardo images stop us from seeing the beauty in life, in those around us and in our selves. How freeing it is to let go of images and actually begin to see life as it truly is.

     4. Absolutely Eduardo. Preconceived ideas or images stop us from seeing and feeling what is truly there for us.

     5. I agree Eduardo, images that we subconsciously hold will guarantee a reaction to whatever happens in life, and unless we become aware of them, those images will continue to influence us and corrupt our movements to ensure they keep existing in our momentum. But if we can return to our true quality in our movement, then the images will no longer hold sway and we can live free of their influence and true to ourselves.

        1. Very helpful Annie C, I have a question why is that we hold onto images? Why do we want to keep the same cycle of abuse going? Is it that there is lack of appreciation about ourselves to move forward from there and a lack of responsibility to co-create a life that we deserve?

        2. Rik I do know the words you used ‘ appreciation and responsibility ‘ play a big part in our reconnection to what is our truth, to live in appreciation and acceptance of the divine reflections we are and let no interference sway us is our responsibility.

     6. We are so busy focused on what could be, we deny ourselves being blessed by what is.

448. It was a moment of truth when I realized how I have not only expected a huge amount of over-riding of how my body felt and any tiredness, I automatically expected others to keep up. There where times I’d be annoyed that they wouldn’t. Now I know who the wise ones were and appreciate very much that pushing through of others is past and just a little left for me to deeply surrender to.

     1. I can relate to this Sandra. At times I have been frustrated when others have not kept up with my over-doing, then to later realise that they were far more honouring in their choices.

        1. I totally agree Heidi, I too have been frustrated that others couldn’t or wouldn’t keep up with my over doing! What a crazy way to live, totally unwilling to honour my body and its needs.

Comments are closed.