Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.
It wasn’t just a normal way of being with everyone but something that needed time, consistency and a track record of trust. Take away that trust and the love would seemingly dry up like a puddle in the sun.
This was how I lived in my relationships: I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.
This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.
But that was love, right? Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.
Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.
As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.
Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life. Things would feel great when I was getting the attention, acceptance and recognition I was seeking, but when it inevitably dried up, I was faced with the saddening reality of how I truly felt about myself – that I never felt quite good enough no matter how much I seemingly ‘succeeded’ in life.
Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.
This is a far cry from the relationship I once had with myself, the world and everyone around me!
Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.
These layers of the ‘what isn’t’ love, such as the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised, can seem overwhelming, yet in reality they’re all minute in comparison to the amazingness of who we truly are.
The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.
When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.
Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?
Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.
By Alison Coleman
Further Reading:
Self-love vs self-loathing
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
To honour another you need to love yourself
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Amazing Alison, it starts out like you are in lockdown and by opening your heart everything around you feels like a blessing and a very lovely harmonious life.
For more on harmony go to; HARMONY at
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=HARMONY
Absolutely why wait for another to change when we can be the one to make that change … from within as others have shared through our connection to our innermost ✨
I don’t feel that mainstream religion has supported us to know that we are love first before anything else and that we do not need to look any further than ourselves.
I seem to remember when young being told from religious teachers that God will save us and the world, that we didn’t need to do anything except go to church to pray that God would indeed save us. God would hear our prayers and will at an appointed hour come and save the world. This to me puts all the responsibility on God and gave humanity a ‘get out of jail’ free card. We can do what we like while we wait for God to come along at some point and save us. And isn’t this what we are doing? We are destroying ourselves and the planet we live on while waiting for God. But what if these religious teachers are incorrect? What if what we are told is a lie and that actually we save ourselves by reconnecting back to our innermost essence which then opens up the flood gates of communication with God and the universe. How cool is that!
‘Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.’ We are sold such a lie around love. It is not an ideal, it is not possible to reserve it for just a few, it is not possible to lose it or gain it and it is not something that entitles us to abuse. Love is in truth a beholding energy that has an amazing quality of grace, stillness, depth and infiniteness to it that is there for us all, equally so. It is something we access/align to and something that is passing through us all the time. If we say we love someone in particular and then say we do not love another, then what we are feeling for that someone in particular certainly can’t be the love just described.
Love is who we are, ‘ Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care’.
Appreciation of our essence is the first step towards appreciating that we all have the same loving essence and that the intimacy we can share or by letting people in, so we are intimate with them is part of us evolving because we start to understand that we are more than human. This allows us to deepen in this evolutionary relationship that ripples out to others then all humanity.
In our essence we are love, we can appreciate and nurture the love we are, allowing that to be lived more and more.
What if the one we are waiting for is ourselves? Everything we want, need, demand, expect from another we are actually responsible for bringing to ourselves first before it can be delivered by another.
And appreciate that it is and always has been our essences that have been waiting for us to re-connect to our essence.
I agree with what you are saying Greg. I remember the ‘love and peace’ movement in the ‘Woodstock’ era, but this wasn’t real as from my experience at the time, it seemed to be based on using drugs to get to a state of heightened awareness.
Serge Benhayon presented love to the world as an energy that is found within us all that is developed first from Tenderness, to self love, to love and this was the interesting part; on a personal note I discovered I did not love myself at all and was in fact very abusive towards myself and towards others. It has taken a long time to love myself and in this turn around feel the deep love I have for others. There really is a way to live in harmlessness towards ourselves and all others.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” Sp true. Appreciating ourselves is key to deepening our relationship with ourselves, and then deepening relationships with those around us follows on from this..
Appreciating and confirming ourselves allows us to build a stronger foundation of love, who we are in truth.
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.” This is beautiful Alison. Knowing about the protection we feel in ourselves and also being aware that another may well have that protection thing going on too, and then taking responsibility for opening up more. The worst that can happen is someone isn’t interested – be it in a friendship or a more intimate relationship.
Finding out the true truth about love. I wonder why we aren’t we allowing ourselves to know this from young instead of going through the ups and downs and emotional roller-coasters of ‘love’, and of course that first this comes from within, therefore no need to look for it outside … not meaning that we cannot have deep, purposeful and loving relationships. If I had the Ageless Wisdom teachings when I was younger I know the first part of my life would have been a lot simpler and a whole lot more lovely. 🌸
Could it be the lack of True understanding of appreciation of our divine essence that has always been “within” and thus re-learning to appreciate and be intimate with others by letting them in (true intimacy) should be openly taught at every level? And appreciation is a connection to “within” that is recognised in ourselves first and then others.
Knowing we are love, and living that in full, ‘ I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.’
Ironic really that when we first hear or talk about love we think of love with another person or partner but never the true love we hold within ourselves. No wonder we can feel so empty and alone, of course, if we are looking outside for something to fill or fulfil us when really the pot of gold lies within.
Yes, the world view currently is all about looking for love outside of ourselves. I too wish id known that love was inside me all along when i was growing up. Don’t think we are alone in that one!
We are love, no need to look elsewhere for love, ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ‘
Yes, appreciating and confirming our amazingness allows it to expand and flourish, ‘the amazingness of who we truly are.’
Because of the false beliefs and ideals of love we can have a lot of investment in our relationships and the people around us, always waiting to receive love from outside of ourselves. This can lead to a lot of misery and upset because life doesn’t run to our pictures. And, in that false belief of love we are missing those daily moments and opportunities to love ourselves and feel/be our own love.
We can become needy if we seek love from outside ourselves, when really this is just a distraction from the fact that we are love, we are magnificent.
Yes, if we are looking for someone to come and be that saviour for us we will be forever searching for the ‘answer’ and our purpose.
‘Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’ So simple right! But something we are not readily taught especially from someone who lives this; however Serge along with many are changing this ✨
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ In the not choosing to be this, but in the seeking of receiving it and in the giving of it out we have created another currency called need.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ Ditto. Having now learned this, choosing to be love, I feel, is our ultimate individual responsibility.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This is so true from my experience also, I can feel that in our society we are taught that love is outside of ourselves, if we knew that love was within us we need never be on the endless search for mr or mrs right. Being in a relationship would be something we would choose if we wanted to, not something that we needed as we would already feel the love within us.
Instead nurturing the love we innately are, ‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’
Why do we always search outside of ourselves for love – or “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? great question Alison.
Love being something you choose to be is incredibly powerful. It takes my victim of fate way of living and the anxiety -including the highs and lows – away too. I used to enjoy the rollercoaster ride but am coming to appreciate the steadiness of love from within way more.
It is but a choice. Choosing to say yes to Love. It really is that simple. No emotions. No drama. No ups. No downs. But a steady consistency.
Coming back to this blog feels very restoring to me. Certainly the hurt of not feeling good enough sometimes may seems quite strong, but how great being honest and aware about where we are at. By making this choice we can feel the hurt in its rawness, let it go and see our truth within, the fact that we are much more than our hurts. Every time we let go and heal we can open up to a deeper level of love, which never ends and it’s for all. It’s the one we craved for so long.
Allowing ourselves to be honest and raw is the only way to go because it brings a reality check to the otherwise arrogant spirit who will deny and justify.
If we don’t love what we are doing, learning and observing in life 24/7, then we have dropped our potential in each moment.
The art of learning where to place our attention.. do we focus on what’s going well, our strengths, qualities; the beauty and depth in our lives, or the bits that we haven’t nailed, are a bit messy and/or are a work in progress? Even with the messy bits, there is still a beauty in what is there for us to learn through it.
So many of us have a belief that someone else is the ONE but the truth is we are all the ONE.
When we build love in ourselves and learn to trust that it is always there – then no one and no thing can take that away… and so the love builds.
Do you know something is very wrong to me when we grow up thinking and feeling that love is not innately within us, it shows just how lost we are. I can really relate with all you have shared here. On reflection it was not until I met Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I finally had a true reflection of love to enable me to connect within what I knew to be true within. Years on I now have much more self-love for myself and also a genuine love for others, not based on emotion which I grew up to believe what love was! I am in no way perfect, never will be, and am always learning but I can appreciate just how far I have come.
I would say the same Vicky until I met Serge Benhayon I would always look outside for love and felt unworthy of being the love that he has spoken about for many years. A love that is there innately in every single person and yet we are so far removed from it that we believe that we would not be worthy of it – that’s just crazy. Now because I am developing self-love from the inside out I have a huge appreciation for the people I meet and feel truly blessed when I get to connect to people I know and have just met.
It changes everything when we realise that honouring our love within is all that we need to be with to live who we are, to be truly fulfilled and it is this that set a real foundation for all other relationships to develop.
It makes sense, that our truest and greatest love is the one we can hold for ourselves. Which I know is easy to say, but very much different to live, especially when life is hard. Which is why this is such an important teaching that Serge Benhayon has given.
Yes it really does offer us an opportunity to see and feel our full purpose as to why we are here. When we focus on the Love that we are, we can feel and sense what is not this. The more we claim what we are, the more we will have access to the enormity that is on offer.
We learn that love comes and goes and that we can select whom to love and not to love. When we start to love ourselves we start to understand that love lives within us, and the more we embrace this love we are made of, the more everything around us is held in this love and we realise that there is no difference.
To also realise that it is the choices that we make that determine our life and not that someone else will come and ‘save us” is deeply empowering.
Totally agree David – understanding what true responsibility is and how our choices impact not only us but all others is very empowering as you say, and very honoring of us all.
God is not responsible for our actions and choices. It is we who choose to be lesser than Him, in most cases knowingly so. Hence it has to be us, ALL OF US who have to one day take responsibility for living in anyway less than the love we truly are.
we have been encouraged to blame God for everything we don’t like about life, we make the mess and then we expect God to step in and clean the mess up. Thats not how it works we made the mess we have to all support each other to clear the mess up by taking responsibility for our actions. This has to start with re connecting back to the essence of who we truly are because as everyone agrees we cannot love another unless we start to love ourselves first.
There is so much hype from religions about ‘the one’ or the ‘chosen one’ that it almost feels like sacrilege to claim to be ‘the one’. Yet we are all ‘the one’, a divine spark of God. It just doesn’t make sense that most of us would be seconds or rejects, while a special few are the ‘one’. Perhaps it’s just that we don’t want to step up to the mark and reclaim all the love we are.
Yes, it’s such a disservice we’ve done to ourselves to entertain the thought that to recognise ourselves as ‘the one’ is somehow sacrilege, when actually the opposite is true.
Serge Benhayon has inspired me to feel the true and deepening meaning of love.
Being with and loving ourselves fully is first base and foundation of true love.
Bringing deep care, and regard to ourselves and our body is not selfish but a choice that benefits all Humanity. Being and living the Love that we are shows the beauty and richness that is accesible for all, with no expectations, attachments and with full respect to the other’s choices.
Yes, it is through the activity of this self regard that we build a relationship with respect, decency and a foundation of Love. This deepening never stops, it is a constant expanding which therefore cannot be arrogant. I will forever be a student.
I can certainly feel how the word “Love” entails such a variety of meanings and most of them are coming from outside us. Such as ‘you give to receive something back’ and with that it is accepted compromising ourselves in order to sustain the relationship, making what is ‘good’ for your family, friends, partner…to show affection and loyalty. But what kind of rules have we created in our relationships that allows the denying of what we truly feel inside? and the poor relationship with ourselves in terms of self-care and self-love? Definitely this can’t be called love anymore but an exchange or an arrangement where maybe we feel safe and secure.
Inma I really appreciate what you have said and taking it deeper how many of us are in relationships where it has become an arrangement that if we were honest with ourselves we would say there is no love in the relationship that it is based on security and comfort with not an ounce of love to be found. Which leaves people feeling lonely and sad within themselves.
‘Could We Be THE One?’ Definitely YES, and thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing that ALL is inside us. It’s all a matter of choice to reconnect back to US and live the LOVE we already are.
It is such a relief, stop the search! No need to seek the love that I am outside of myself or from another. But how beautiful it is to share and receive it back.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ That’s truly an art but once we have mastered this art, not with perfection, life becomes completely different, there is so much love and joy to share, it is endless once we connect.
“there is so much love and joy to share, it is endless once we connect” This is beautiful Annelies, to feel and express this in life, changes the quality of relationships with others.
It is life changing and phenomenal how Serge Benhayon presents on being love as opposed to needing love.
What Serge Benhayon presents on Love is truly revelatory, bringing much needed wisdom that deeply supports all.
Yes Alison – ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ – I too have found that focusing on the ‘what is’ has been a total game changer. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have been breaking down and letting go of conditioned ways of focusing on what we are not or think we don’t have is Soul destroying. However in truth nothing can touch the Soul we just layer ourselves with the what is not. To be able to sit and feel and know that I am amazing, have everything that I will ever need and then some, that I am beautiful and precious is very humbling to feel and know so much glory of who I am and that I am the One.
And when we focus on the what is, its delightful to see just how much of it is available already. The what is not is but a small percentage, but can act like a small dark cloud that dulls the glory we all have inside.
I remember at a Women’s group us discussing what love was and I shared I knew I was connected when I could feel a warmth in my feet. A person beside me was so relieved as she thought I was going to say the usual; when I hold my child’s or partner’s hand etc., something to do with another but it most certainly is to do with ourselves and how our bodies feel in connection to the whole universe.
That’s so beautiful Vanessa and very revealing about what true love is about, is inside us and in everyone else equally so.
Vanessa at those women’s group I also attended what was fascinating is that when you get a group of women together. and start to ask the right questions everyone owns up to knowing that there is more to life but nobody talks about it because no one wants to break the radio silence and speak the unspeakable that lies hidden just below the surface of life. We all know that the current way of living isn’t working but no one wants to expose the rot because then we would have to admit that the lies we feed ourselves everyday are not working any more. There is a greater truth to know that there is a different way to live with ourselves first that then radiates out to everyone else.
I can really feel this game we play in pursuit of love. All the things that we do, to not be.
Supporting me to be me, connecting to my own love, for me to be love, is such a foreign way of being in this world which is all about trying to find someone to love us, to make us feel worthy, when the truth is we are responsible for loving ourselves, how amazingly beautiful is that responsibility.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Love this we spend our lives searching for The One when all the time we are the One, we are the love we have been searching for and that love is right there in the mirror being reflected back to us. How blind are we when it comes to love?
That we are love and that we hold back on that love, very true Alison, and it’s there always ready and waiting to be lived and expressed.
I love what you are saying here about how love is something that we choose to be. Knowing this, we can never complain about not having love in our life, because we can bring the love that we crave.
The love in our lives is dependent on the love we are willing to express and the quality of that expression comes from the relationship we have with ourselves and with God.
I had a Jewish friend and his experience was that some people were special, born special so the idea that anybody can be without limitations was a surprise for him.
This made me smile when I think ‘I am Mr Right’! Its all there, not in the achievements, the quantity of what I do, but in the quality that I can feel super steady in me. Its always there, so how much do I value, appreciate, and treasure that? (Cause I’ve tried the dependent model, looking to the outside for fulfillment, and it’s an exhausting and impossible task to fulfill).
Yes both ways trying to be those things for another, totally exhausting.
We most definitely are the ones that are beholders of love and through our connection to our innermost we realise that nothing can compare to this superlative quality that represents the essence of us all.
We will never know and feel that we are The Ones whilst we are attached and invested in life in some way.
Looking back I can honestly say that I did not truly love anyone I was in so much protection, I was always waiting for something to go wrong. And I feel this is because we have set up our society to believe that love cannot last which is the complete opposite of the truth of true love the love of God. It is always there it is we who reject this love and suffer the consequences.
Mary, this makes sense. To me it was a revelation that there is much more to love than I realised and this has opened doors to a very different way of living and connecting and relating and loving others as well.
Christoph it has been a huge revelation to me, one which continues to deepen. I am just beginning to feel my love of humanity as a whole, and this is because I am allowing myself to feel the deep love I actually hold for myself. I know that none of this would have been possible without the continued support of Serge Benhayon and his family, as he was, as Alison stated the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.
Your last sentence is so true Mary – ‘it is we who reject this love and suffer the consequences.’ Opening my heart and knowing that I am love first has opened me up to others and reduced the protection I was always carrying. It feels so wrong that we are not honoured from young to feel the love we are.
Thank you Alison, this is a very good question to ask.. one that reveals how much we have given up on loving ourselves and seeing that we are THE Ones.
Reading this ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ I remember a feeling of who am I to be love, or playing myself down, just not living the love I knew I was (gosh this would be something I constantly did .. and sometimes still do!) But it should be .. why on earth are we not living the innate full potential of love that we ALL are. With regards to Serge, he has taught me so, so very much and I continue to learn from him. He is incredibly wise and all knowing, yet humble and equal as the person next to him. One day the world will get to truly feel and see the Absolutely wonderful man and soul he is. May that day be soon ✨
Being “the one” is not like it is portrayed in movies. It is about being an ordinary person living true to your divine origins.
What I find so beautiful about rediscovering my own inner love, is in then having people around me who I can express this with, to let that love spill out un-needing of conditions, just pure and simple loving ways that confirm the love we are.
We are most definitely the ‘one’, no longer do we give our power away to others when we know and claim we are the ‘one’. Some may shy away from being the ‘one’ as it holds a bigger responsibility to reflect this truth.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ A true art, always having our eyes on the ‘what is not’ is deceiving, as having our eyes or actually our whole body on ‘the what is’, confirms what we know that we are already everything (and more)
This pattern of highs and lows in relationships is part of what keeps us in dysfunctional relationships for so long – we put up with the lows, because the highs – the acceptance and recognition – feel so good when we get them that it keeps us in it. But it’s an unsustainable and ultimately miserable way of being in relationships with others – i.e. totally at the mercy of another’s mood, of another’s decision to be loving towards us, or not. Eventually we learn that nothing can compensate for the love that we can give to ourselves, and that can only come from a constant saying yes to aligning to that love that are and that we all hold within us.
It does mean we don’t have to look very far for the love that we are missing!
So interesting that we agree to buy a ticket on the roller coaster of life, investing our time and energy into the ups, knowing that there will be downs. But what occurs to me is that a) why should life always go smoothly… who says that is the goal? In fact, if it were to go smoothly all the time then where would be the growth, the shifts, the changes that are needed to expand? And b) if we develop a strong inner feeling of ourselves and our love that is independent of the ever-changing world around us. That can be developed into a super strong unshakeable foundation from which to observe the rest of the world.
Love is something natural that you choose to be…. not outside of ourselves or dependent. So simple, but this is absolutely game changing if considered in its fullest.
Yes everyONE is the ONE. Time to stop trying to be Mr and Mrs Right and become the Mr and Mrs Truth and Love we all already are.
Like that ‘put the light on and take the cap off’ this is very true, nothing needs to be done rather to be and emanate.
It is a huge shift away from a lifetimes patterning to seek love from outside of yourself. It makes no sense that we are born love and move further away from that state every day yet are hell bent on continuing down the path of finding ‘the one’. It is only through reconnecting, learning to truly love ourselves on a daily basis that we can shift this insidious outward looking way of living.
Watching my friends children start nursery and within a short space of time how they want to fit in is a great lesson on how we give ourselves away to fit in with our peer group, the wanting to fit in seems to over ride any sense we may have had of our innermost essence. This looking out side of ourselves for confirmation of who we are is then set up for the rest of our life. It wasn’t until Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom teaching suggested that there is a different way to be that we started to question the way we have set up life to fail.
We are the One, who are the many, remembering they are the One we have each separated from.
One day we will all wake up and remember we are the one and then will no longer be lost or won – but gloriously one.
When we live with this awareness we realise that every one of our expressions is having an impact on the whole or the One.
Its a sure fire way to harmony – if we are all equal in that One-ness
How many songs are written about this – “that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite” – just cementing this belief in for humanity that this is what love is. When this belief could not be further from the truth. Thank God for Michael Benhayon of Glorious Music who is bringing into the world music that is about the truth of love, that it is there for each and everyone of us, it lives within us, and is up to us to live it for ourselves.
Yes true music confirming our innate love and pull to evolution.
We are all the one as we all come from the same source and each one of us reflect something different and we need every reflection to make the all.
Like you need all the colours to make up the rainbow, or all the components to make up an engine. Even the smallest screw not doing its job has the potential to stop the whole engine.
I love that.. it brings an appreciation of every part that makes up the whole and how our every expression matters.
If there is only the one source, and we are therefore part of the all, we are all the one.
By moving in a certain way we create what comes next, a familiar territory where we know how to move around. Movement seeks to confirm itself.
And in this moving a new true way may feel familiar but awkward compared to the ill movements of the past. It takes a willingness and knowing if truth to make those necessary corrections.
We are the love we have been searching for far and wide. How gorgeous but also revealing to see that actually everything was inside us all along..
I realised walking today how we absolutely create our issues with God as God has no issues with us. It is a crazy, crazy game of delay we play.
God has limitless patience and love for us, we are so wayward and yet the energy that he is is never withdrawn. We have a tendency to blame God for the issues we all have which are self made, we are so abusive towards him and ourselves but to me the essence of God is always there and when we turn back to face God again as we will all do, the love that he is will be waiting for us.
The relationship with ourselves is absolutely the one we have been waiting for. It’s the ultimate relationship that allows all relationship to be more. The deeper we can surrender to all the love we are, the deeper we surrender to all the relationships we have.
It’s interesting to reflect on if there is ever a true justification for ‘reserving love’ and if we’re reserving love what is it that we’re expressing instead… It’s like we think there is only a certain amount of love that we have to ‘give’ rather than seeing it as something that comes through us naturally when we’re in connection with our essence.
The revelations about true love presented here are so simple and common sense, yet they are the opposite of what we are led to believe. I also believed that love was only for certain special people, and it was found in another. It’s so much simpler and very empowering to know that its inside each of us, an energy that is at our core, rather than a finite resource that we have to compete for.
It really is a game changer it turns everything on its head.
What a brilliant sharing Alison, absolutely awesome it makes soooo much sense that the key is to deepen your love with yourself.
Like all lies it is a bastardisation of a Truth because there is a one who comes to save us and it is you Doug, and me and all of us – we all “save” ourselves from ourselves. We are all the one and we are all one!
I too have discovered through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and my own Livingness that Love is something we ALL already ARE. Not even something we need to choose to be – we simply are. All we have to do is stop choosing to be or what you could call aligning to all that is not love.
If we have been aligning to all that is not love for a long time then there can be a process of cleaning up, reimprinting and healing our hurts – but knowing that we are already everything is such a wonderful and true place to start to return from!
It is strange we think we can find love outside of ourselves when in truth we are Love, it is our nature and in reconnecting with love we are met with Love.
true Alison, we are the only ones that can love us, then the more we love ourselves the more we are able to let the love of others in.
I really appreciate what you’ve presented here Alison, the ideal of that romantic quest to find Mr. or Mrs. Right who are going to solve all our problems is so common in movies and just generally as well! And I can see how if we buy into that we are distracting ourselves from truly building love in our life through the way that we live in each moment, with ourselves and with everyone else as well…
Alison, this is very true; ‘Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.’ Every romantic movie and books seems to confirm this. It has been very beautiful attending Universal Medicine presentations and learning that we can love ourselves and that we do not need to be reliant on love from outside of ourselves.
Yeah that story is rubbish, disempowering and is not true. It’s fascinating that this is what we have chosen to surround ourselves with, lies and fiction rather than love and truth. Such a set up. But once you see it like you have shared, it is so obvious in its manipulation, its game over.
Rebecca my question is why do we find it so hard to love ourselves? Why have we all set up a loveless society?
I loved this sentence ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ It reminded me of our responsibility to always choose love first.
Very true and what a very awesome responsibility that is!
Be the love that we are and the need to seek love outside of ourselves falls away.
Could we be the one? Could we be the one who inspires our neighbour, co-worker, son, daughter, mother, father, brother, friend, or the person on the street to be who they truly are? Could we be the one that’s a bit different and shows those around us that there is another way? Could each and every single one of us be the one?
If we didn’t heed the lies of main stream religion which tell us that there will be the one that will come and save us, then we would understand what everyone on this thread is saying is that we are all the one. We all need to work together to bring about the change that is needed to get us all out of here.
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.” So so true Alison when we truly know we are love there is no hurt that can play out, it all melts away when we express who we truly are.
There is no such thing as being alone when we live in connection to our love within. For in that moment we are in union with all that is Divine, as such with God and there is no greater presence to be with, than with Him.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care. ”
I had the same experience with Serge Benhayon, he was the first person I met who knew what the word love meant.
Serge Benhayon has opened up the possibility of a different conversation starting with the words what if? from such simple beginnings an avalanche has occurred and as it gathers pace more and more people are realising that there is more to life than what we see on the surface.
I’ve loved what you have shared here Alison, searching for love elsewhere to complete us when it is within us all.
Like yourself I am gradually learning too to bring what I am, build the foundation of what I am and what is not and I can reflect this to others to build theirs if they so wish.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ‘ This is such a great point that many of us , if not all, have been ensconced in. It wasn’t until Serge Benhayon said to me ‘all you have to do is Be Love’ that the penny dropped and I realised how simple it is. Then I could begin to unravel and understand all that was not love in my life. Still in progress, I am experiencing how love is an amazing ever deepening expansion that knows no bounds.
We can only have negative self talks when we do not deeply love ourselves. Otherwise it would be impossible and not exist.
We can hold on and cherish our hurts, not feeling good enough, not recognised, feeling rejected and so on, but with that we only are holding back the love that already lives within and can be lived without any effort if we choose to live so.
Thank you Alison, as you express so truly what love is and comes from. All we need to do is connect to our truth, love inside and make that our way and impulse of living.
As you have said Ali, we can choose to be love. That it is a choice is a big revelation for me.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ – everything else.’ I’m finding that appreciation helps this process hugely as it is absolute and truthful.
Not claiming that we are the One does not serve anyone; in fact it is a complete hindrance to what we are here to do. We are all the One so there are no favourites.
Whenever we put our focus outside of us – we set ourselves up to fail, as we reject our inner-side being ness that is who we are and move with everyday. Could it be that by acknowledging our inside, our truth – it makes us expand, bigger and hence all the manners and ways of living away from that will be exposed? And need an update? Yes, hence it is great to actually allow the what is truly new and eliminate the dirt that is polluting us, that has never worked.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else’. And wow, what an art to learn. This quote lived has changed the very foundation of everything I do. How amazing this is when you start to live it you see how it was there to live the whole time, we just chose the other direction.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ Yes Alison, this is a very different place to be and completely re-writes what we think Love is.
The person looking back at us in the mirror is the only person with us in every moment. Terefore, it is best to build a relationship with ourselves first because then we know who we are as we look out from our eyes to others.
So true Lucy, we are for ourselves the first and foremost, who have to come to terms with the love that we already are before we can share this love with with the world.
The more deeply we are connected to ourselves the less we look out, for our eyes actually receive.
For years I have taught that being the “one” was some sort of big deal and the reason why I would not accept myself as the “one”. More recently I have come to know that it is our responsibility to be the “one”, as each of us so can and do reflect something different to each other.
Yes a different expression of the one source.
Each different reflection of the one, is like the different colours in the rainbow making up the light of the one source.
For when we accept responsibility for being the one, it unites and aligns us to one purpose.
Serge Benhayon shows the Way to open your heart to the Love that you already are in the inner-heart – every One of us.
We are the One who are the many remembering who we are and where we come from. At some stage in one of our many lives here on Earth we must give up the ill-guided outward search and each look deep within to find that which we have separated from.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This is such a huge misconception that holds nearly the whole world in its grip. I subscribed to this for a long time although I could feel it was not true and even held both ideas at he same time for a while, but it is absolutely clear now that we do not give or receive love. We emanate love and when someone resonates with that then that’s cool and visa versa..
Thank you Alison, sharing with us what is profound – love – a beholding abundance of truth.. That can in fact not be taken away from us – we can only deepen or withdraw from this instant connection. Hence we are the One. The more we choose to be that All.
Well said.. a simple reminder of that love is inside us, we don’t need it to get to it, just accepting and appreciating that it is who we are.
Are we so far away from Love that we need to step back and see where we are at, so we can at least be honest in how we have all understood Love to be some sort of out there feeling that has nothing to do with our essence?
We are everything that we need in any moment. We are the only One, that can save ourselves.
We are the one we have been searching for, looking of the one, the one to love us, we are all the one as we connect to the oneness of our love.
Upon reading this blog this morning, I can feel just how the word “one” is all encompassing. it may be a small and somewhat singular syllable, but there is such power and truth that we are all indeed made up of the same essence and divinely connected as “ONE.”
It is most definitely time to go onward and really love ourselves unconditionally, we only delay the inevitable whilst we go around looking outside of ourselves.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ – everything else.” – The teaching of Serge Benhayon that all we have to do is be the love that we naturally are diffuses the notion that we have to do something to get love in life from others, as it is there inside us all along. No searching needed.
The simplicity of where true love lies can be so confronting because it asks for self-responsibility to initiate. It seems simple to externalise love so we don’t have to take full responsibility, but it’s pretty clear where that leads us – to loveless complication and beyond.
A very familiar story Alison. I too looked outside for that perfect relationship, but there was strings; Expectations on how we were to be in relationship, shying away from expressing how I felt; thinking that this relationship was it and bring me everything I need. There is still much to work on but knowing that how I am with myself in my own relationship is the starting place for how all other relationships are, has made an enormous difference to my relationships. What I have certainly learnt for myself is that romance is so last season.
To confirm and embody the love that we are is to not give space to where we are not living that. To notice where we are not living that love provides an opportunity to come back, connect and embody it once again.
” Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care. ”
I had the same experience, love is something you live and once love is lived, love expresses itself, emanates and radiates.
Yes Susan , we are the One. Realising that is the most incredible journey and a return to who we truly are.
If we (the world) stopped bastardising the word Love and connected to the energy of True Love we would fix the majority of our woes in one go!
We are all Mr and Mrs Love working really hard to be all that is not love whilst claiming the opposite – that is why we get so exhausted.
I always find it fascinating how easily we overlook ourselves having all the answers to everything. I spent a large proportion of my life never even considering that I had a body dangling below my neck and that IT was really the one thing I needed to look after.
Appreciation of who we are is the essence of life itself and once we see every opportunity and or moment as a moment to learn, grow and discover the what is we leave less room for the what is not, showing us that we are indeed the ONE and that everyone else also has their own journey to discover, learn and explore that they too are the ONE. Very cool.
What love is inside me, all the time I was looking for it in all aspects of life outside of myself especially in my relationships.
I have spent my whole life waiting for love to disappoint me. Staying on guard without even being aware I was. Living this way has created such hardness in my body, you could call it self created armour. With the walk back to love I’m now peeling back the armour bit by bit, being blown away at the hardness that I have avoided seeing and so appreciative of the love that lives within.
Our health and well-being really is in our hands, and there’s no reason we can’t treat ourselves as ‘the Ones’, Kings and Queens in the high quality we establish in every movement and interaction.
Due to the fact that we have separated from the true Oneness we all deeply know and belong to, we have made life instead about the plight of the ‘the one’, the individual that carves for itself an existence separate to all others. In this way we have yearned to be ‘the one’ in the sense that in this separated state we crave recognition and identification, rather than reconnecting deeply to the truth that when we live in connection with our Soul, we live in connection with all others and together we make up ‘the One’ – the light and love of God.
Beautifully said – recognising that we are already love and that no one can take this away from us nor make us feel it unless we ourselves choose to connect with it is truly empowering and gives us the opportunity to re-focus ourselves on the love we already are and bring our expression back to that quality rather than focusing on hurts, needs or ideals instead.
I love your suggestion of bringing the focus back to ourselves being the One rather than giving our power away to some other one because the truth is we are all the One.
Alison, this is very lovely; ‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’ If we were taught this as young adults this could change everything, we don’t need to go on the search for ‘mr or mrs right’ and could instead focus and build the connection and love with ourselves, and then go into relationships if we felt to from here.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”
To focus on what is not is strong programming in the human race. To learn to refocus on the what is – love – is an art form and one that is much needed. A loving work in progress and one that I remind myself aLL the time to work on.
The kind of relationship that we have with ourself is fundamental to the quality of relationships that we then have with others. The clarity that Serge Benhayon brings to what love truly is and how we can re-connect with the innate love that we are is gold.
This is so important in what you have shared here and while talking to a young person today it became apparent that practically everyone does this ..looks outside for love and to be confirmed by another instead of knowing how to do this for ourselves first. So when the ‘love’ goes we don’t feel good about ourselves again. And this will be the never ending rollacoaster of life until we are truly aware of it and know how to get off of it and … how to truly love ourselves. This is possible. I know from experience and as yourself with the support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Beautifully expressed Alison. And the truth is we all do really love ourselves deeply. When I ask others if they would prefer to be someone else they all have replied no. What we do want is actually BE ourselves in full.
Yes it is in the confirmation and appreciation of who we are that we expand and thus the negative self-talk gradually falls away. There is no trying this, just the simple commitment to moving in acceptance of our awesomeness.
One of the greatest teachings that Universal Medicine offers is that we are all the one, as we are all one.
That love is an energy, a quality of being and not something outside of us is a revelation worth exploring.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” – yes, since a young adult i’d kept an eye out, hope for ‘finding the one’ only to find years later how misguided this ideal was and also a complete waste of energy really…because ‘finding the one’ is finding the one love of ourselves to prepare the way for that love to be with another.
Love is an emanation from within and never something anyone else gives to us.
Very beautifully shared Alison, illustrating the fact that if we are searching for Mr or Mrs Right to find love we have already overlooked and disconnected from the true love that is ever-present within us, as this is everything that we are. We are the ones that are born into this world to share the love we are.
True Allison, the conditional version of love makes us feel needy and it is dis-empowering on every level. In a sense it is a way of life that is incomplete as we leave ourselves behind and are constantly adjusting our way of being to another person or more. And our being just is!
Love fits everyone equally as God never leaves us we are the ones that need to reflect in the mirror the Love we are so God can re-connect starting with our inner-heart. Connecting through the inner-heart starts with the Gentle Breath Meditation as most find that we are to far from our divine connection. So we slowly return through being gentle then self-loving before returning to Love.
For more on the Gentle Breath Meditation go to;
FREE GENTLE BREATH MEDITATION
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=Free+Gentle+Breath+Meditation
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” Such is the magic of appreciation. The settlement, ease and space this brings to our bodies is exquisite to feel. In that space is pure and absolute unconditional love – the Love of God expressed through us.
Very beautiful Lucy – yes this is a Love that IS absolutely everything.
Could it be that when we confirm the ONE we are in effect confirming the ALL and that is what true service and brotherhood is all about.
Absolutely Kelly. I love how the truth feels.
Beautifully said Kelly, connect to us and we connect to the all.
Most of us have been indoctrinated into believing that there is A One that will save us. It is a revelation to know that WE ARE THAT ONE – each and every single one of us.
True Elizabeth, we are the one who is returning to a true religious path back to God.
The science of relationships in truth is about oneness. When we are in oneness with ourselves so can we be in Oneness with everyone else – and so we are all THE One. Together we make up a whole.
‘I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’
There are times when I can feel a little bereft when I am not with someone but reading this and knowing I have started to live this is such a supportive reminder of what is true and reconnecting with myself knowing no-one else but me can do this. There is so much illusion in this world around what love is it’s glorious to read and feel true reflections of love.
We are offered everyday to re-connect to our essence of being. We are constantly being asked, in one way or the other (times obvious and not so obvious), to deepen our relationship with ourselves.. To understand what we are living for and how this relates to our body. That there is a love inside our body that needs attention and to be brought up to the surface for us to feel from and live. There is nothing more stupendous than our own love.
Nothing more stupendous. It is worth taking the chance and simply surrendering to that love so we can feel its warm embrace.
It is true that we are the only ones that can claim that we are love, which we are but this is something we can forget or ignore. We have the ultimate choice to be at the mercy of everyone else and if they have a good day or not, or, to be loving ourselves and claiming this is absolutely normal and we are worth it. This is responsibility.
It’s an interesting concept to consider ‘our’ love – like it is something that we own and perhaps have a finite amount of rather than it being an energy that we align with and that is infinite and unconditional in its expression… And to say we switch it on or off or turn it up or down shows how much we control and hold back something that is always there ready to be expressed…
Gorgeously shared Alison. The most fundamental relationship we can develop is the one with ourselves first, as within us all is an infinite world of love to explore. As has been wisely shared through the ages and again today through the presentations of Serge Benhayon, we are the ‘Ones’ that bring love to this world when we connect to who we are within.
Sometimes I just pick a blog out of the blue and it is just what I need to read and this blog is certainly been one of those, and as there are no coincidences, it just so happened that my wife was the last comment left. What are the chances?
I love this! Yes we are the one, we are able to live in the most divine connection all of the time, if we choose it. I am amazed at my ability to resist this simple truth and live counter to it. I can also appreciate that I know how it feels to feel love in your body from yourself, I often feel a delicious warmth in the centre of my feet! The expanse of the chest the warmth of the chest all so tangible and physical.
I love this question –”could we be the One” as it stops us in our tracks and asks us to step up to the true power that we all have and the important role we all play in this world.
Love starts with us first and foremost; it reflects the love we are all held in and with; it has no expectations or demands. This love is self-fulfilling.
Yes absolutely Alison we are the one. How is it that our most natural expression – love – has been so bastardised and re-interpreted to be so far away from the true meaning of the word love?
We are usually so occupied with feeling deficient, seeking recognition, striving, driving, achieving… to compensate for our lack of love. That we don’t seem to know that we are the one whom we love and who loves us wholeheartedly. Love is the healer of everything that is not love we have identified with and we are the one to give it ourselves.
It is absolutely true that the more we focus our attention on building love for ourselves, the more aligned we are to accessing confirming thoughts, and the self denigrating thoughts become less dominant.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? ” A great question Alison. Having a loving relationship with ourselves first paves the way for amazing relationships with other people, but because we are ‘full’ of ourselves, these wont be out of neediness for the other to fill us up.
We are all equally the one – how cool is that!
‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me…’ this is responsibility inspiring and purpose-filled quote, thank you.
A job we should do with commitment, responsibility and most of all, complete love. The more we bring to it, the more that naturally gets expressed for everyone else.
We are the One who are the many remembering the Oneness we become when we let all others back into our hearts.
Thank you Alison, it is true and crazy how we have come to develop a good relationship with that which is not love and we easily dismiss all the amazing experiences in life. It is through the constant appreciation of this that we can once again claim back our natural way of being in flow with what’s needed in our own evolution.
To consider that we ‘are the one’ and not that we have to wait for Mr or Miss Right to come along is a huge consciousness changer.
What a turnaround from such an embedded paradigm … love within first …. Turns everything on its head really!
Sure does cjames. Through our connection to our love within, we get a real taste of what truly living is all about.
Most of us associate the word love with choice, but with the choice of the person with/to whom to express/exchange love. What Serge Benhayon presents is that love is a choice of being that each of us take individually. As this blog reveals, this insight changes many things about love, its possibility and whereabouts.
It is like solving the greatest riddle of all time when we realise what we have been searching for so long has already, always been within us, and this awareness brings out much joy. Seeing that I have hardly ever connected or lived that bit hurts, and yet I still choose what is not every now and then. Beating myself up for choosing what is not is like a ghost chasing a ghost when neither really exists.
the lightness of being – and the realization that we are the One, simply resolves all the ideals, beliefs, thoughts, images of that we need someOne to feel loved, whilst it is actually the true opposite.
It is through the constant appreciation of our being-ness that we know we are the one with a unique quality and purpose to contribute for the good of all.
We are indeed the ONE, to love, behold and cherish and no-one else can do it better. Thank you for the reminder.
I recently had a picture and belief about myself shattered. I always thought I was someone who was challenged to let people in and to really express love – I’ve questioned the love that I’m capable of. I can easily run with this story and in doing so keep convincing myself that I am that way. But what if I’m not? What if I’m hugely loving and it’s me and my mind that caps it and holds it all back? I’m not yet convinced but I’m definitely open to the possibility that I don’t have such issues, that it is not who I am but only a pattern of behaviour that I have made my everything instead of being a very small part.
A truly gorgeous blog Alison. Love is bastardised left, right and centre and the tentacles of the lies we’ve been fed about love hang on tight because we don’t want to accept that love is our responsibility.
Exactly – our search and cry for love ends – when we recognize truly that all the love is inside us. And so, the more we allow ourselves to feel all the love that we are – the less and less we seek or need it to come from outside. Simple. as the teachings of Serge Benhayon are constantly reminding us of that truth.
Instead of focusing on NOT self bashing or criticising ourselves, why not fill the space with appreciation, care and confirmations?
Knowing we are the Ones require a step by step living to re-familiarize our bodies to feel this confirmation. So in every occasion I will not hold back in expressing truth, whether it would be accepted or not, not in reaction but in respect to my knowing, and thus also a respect to others in reflection and inspiration. Expression has no expectation, it is not needing anyone to get it or to change, as a respect to ourselves naturally extends to a respect to others’ choices.
Us being our Ones makes perfect sense to me as looking outside for another to fulfill you makes no sense.
It’s taken love to a literal, new meaning and one with more freedom, loving without restrictions with our neighbours, our partners and the shopkeepers. The way we have been taught to love calls love to only treat those close to us with special attention – but it can’t be held back for anyone or it can’t truly be for the one.
We are the one we have been longing for, the one we have searched all our lives for, the treasure that has been covered over by the what is not, now to be uncovered as the what is “the one”
It is by real fact: We are love.
We can see: We are missing love.
We can see: We are not living from that love.
We can see: All that we want is to be that love.
Hence, this blog shares with us : it is in us, we need to choose it from within us, as then the need will disapear to get it from the outside. Simple. And how to do this and strip away all that is not love (that we have previously chosen) is supported and given to us in tools by Universal Medicine.
Searching for love outside of ourselves certainly takes us further away from true love. I have experienced this myself. Now, I am learning to reconnect to the love that resides with me and I have stopped the search for love all together because I know I am already love.
Pretty much everything we call love in society is everything but love. This is very sorry state of affairs as we all feel the pull to return to the love we already are, but keep meeting the reflection and expressions of false love aka emotions. To meet the energetic vibration of true love is one of the greatest joys and gifts you can ever experience and I deeply thank Serge Benhayon for consistently living and offering it so that I too have been able to connect, live and offer it.
There is a great irony here that we are ‘in love’ with all that is not love as a clever method to keep living void of the love we know but do not yet express. With this understanding we can begin to see that we cannot be ‘in love’ with anything but love and so what we think is love is just an attachment to a particular vibration that does not pull us to be the ‘more’ that we are – which is true and divine Love.
It is really rather disgusting how we have bastardised the Divine word “Love” such that we can’t really use it without adding the prefix true love or divine love. Love and Truth are always one and all the other imposters are all that love and truth are not. This is not to judge having emotional attractions, addictions and our choice to be all that love is not, but it would be lovely (ha ha) if we could be more honest about it.
Imagine if we said “I need you because I am feeling empty and want you to give me what I am not giving myself even though you are not giving it to yourself either and it is something we are anyway and not something we can give” rather that I love you…. or how about “I so enjoy eating this cake as it allows me to numb myself, feel less than who I am and gives me a sugar boost of energy as I am exhausted from all the work I do to avoid being the love I am” rather than I love cake – wouldn’t that be refreshing and give us more of a chance to add the second E to love ie Evolve.
Haha – very true. But it seems when this level of honesty is on the menu, we have suddenly lost our appetite.
To me, your mirror line blows the iconic Micheal Jackson song out of the water!
The reason your line holds more power is because it comes from an understanding, a lived way.
Micheal Jackson on the other hand, lyrics as seen bellow, seems void of a genuineness.
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change”
This song sounds great but the major problem with it is the lack of livingness in it. This is because the man that sung, wrote and represented these words was not living them at all. Micheal Jackson was not looking at the love he was bringing or more accurately not bringing. He wasn’t looking to adjust the way he was living accordingly. He was not self reflecting, he was self critical to the point that he publicly mutilated himself, which simply added to the mess we find ourselves in today. This “mess” that we call the modern world, thrives on the likes of people like Micheal Jackson because they sell the lie, the concept that we need others to approve of us, that outside is more important than what we feel inside. Its beautiful to hear a true voice that is bringing a powerful and age old message: to look no further than the mirror to adjust the world.
We are the One! Beautiful Alison, what a powerful reminder of who we truly are.
We are taught that love can only exist between lovers, “the One”, family and people of our kind, but love is a way of living, love can be lived and is brought even greater to those close to us when we understand it can’t be reserved for only them.
So true Harryjwhite, if we reserve love for a selected few then this cannot be a true form of love because love is not limited, restrictive or judgemental.
Thank you Alison I so needed to read this today. A reminder that it is far more successful to accept and focus on the love that I am rather than everything else that is not love. In the ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts I completely loose sight of appreciating anything about myself or others. But today I can say that I feel lighter and more me when appreciating myself. The more I appreciate the more I prefer to appreciate than to not. It’s like a daily dose of medicine for the whole of me.
There are so many beliefs that get in the way of this and so many pictures about what love is, that constant looking outside of ourselves to be filled by something instead of first allowing ourselves to be filled with our own love and then taking this out to the world.
We are everything we ever wanted.
and much much more 🙂
Accepting the fact that we are the One means that we are prepared to be responsible for everything in our life.
Yes Alison, so much of what we see in life focuses on a Love that is hard to get, out of our reach, or trapped in a gorgeous moment on a beach. Sometimes we see through this and know this is not the way to go, but then take this as a licence to hide away in ourselves too. Neither of these routes works out well. The truth is, as you show, that when we realise we are ALL one and an equal part of the same whole, then we can’t hold ourselves less than anyone else. So naturally we deserve love and understanding as much as anyone does, and it’s our job to deliver this present to ourselves.
To actually and not just potentially be the one I need to move in a different way, a particular quality that is fueled by the energy of love, ie impulsed by the only one source that delivers true love, harmony, brotherhood, truth, joy, union… – our Soul, God, the universe. The moment we move in such quality we are expressing it, developing and magnifying it. The moment we align to what is not love we are back in the loveless dilemma we all know just too well.
Love as an embodiment re-connects us to the oneness we are all a part of. In the separation from our nature we go in search of it outside of us.
To live every day with the notion or potential of being THE ONE is quite a remarkable approach to life with many unfoldments and revelations to be experienced inevitably leading to being THE ONE – to become who we already are.
I love that we are already whole and that through our life cycles we are just returning to this way and re-configuring our movements to confirm this amazingness that is nestled within our hearts.
It is indeed about ‘where we choose to put our attention’ or what source and quality we are aligning to. We either live life from the outside in (the what is not) or from the inside out (the what is); the latter meaning to live as the one from the presence of who we are (love) and express this quality in the world.
Your mention of the power of confirmation and how important it is in our relationship with ourselves and with others got me wondering…. what if all of the major issues problems and tensions in this world including all the wars etc would simply not be if we had more confirmation of who we are and what we feel in ourselves and with others?
I have no doubt this is true Joshua. There would be nothing to fight for because we would all feel that we are everything.
Starting with the notion of already having and being everything we could ever long for shifts one´s approach to life radically. The way most people live is from a deficiency or emptiness looking outward to be filled with what they miss or expect giving them fulfilment. This is the very nature of how we have made life to be, a creation from disconnection to the all we belong to. Living life from the potential of already being everything allows for a very different scenario whereby we don´t seek for what is missing but bringing forth to life from within what we want life to be.
This is lovely Alex in living this way we truly learn that there is nothing missing , but the world works at convincing us that there is something missing in us , which of course is a complete lie .
What a great blog! It is such an amazing feeling to know we do not have to look outside of ourselves for true love. There is no other half of us but each of us is whole as we are and the love we have been searching outside of ourselves for is actually inside of us, and always has been. Thank you Alison.
Such a simple recipe to live life, thank you Alison, a very beautiful blog to read;
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else”.
When I first heard the term ‘we are all THE ONE’ I found myself re-coiling with the thought ‘well l’m definitely not and nor do I want to be!’ On closer examination I discovered this was primarily because in my experience anyone who even thinks to proclaim themselves as someone significant, immediately opens themselves up to ridicule, pulling down etc. Who do you think you are, who made you so special etc.
What l’ve come to understand however is that we ARE all the one… every last one of us, each of us special in our own right with something of significance to contribute to the whole. What it doesn’t mean is that any one person is more special than another, or more important in the whole than any other. This sort of THE ONE I can accept responsibility for. Claiming it and living it is another matter, and that’s a work in progress.
I love how I get to read exactly what I need to when I need it! I’m being called to a deeper relationship with myself and being shown where I invest in relationships with others to give me what I haven’t been giving myself, so this is very timely.
Thank you Alison, very very deeply shared from the bottom of your heart — sharing what is truly there and truly amiss. Nothing else will replace the love we hold within. It is a matter of re-connection a practise to re-connect to all that we already are – Love.
‘love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.’ This is a trap we all fall for until we recognise we are love and we are the ‘ONE’, no Mr or Mrs Right can give us this, only we ourselves can remember the true essence of our being and yes we can reflect and inspire but love can never be given to us by another.
Yes Alison, we the ‘ONE’ and this means we are an equal part of everything – the whole magnificent universe. And so like space it only makes common sense that this oneness stretches out infinitely – there is no end to the Love we can feel and be. We are not designed to settle for where we are ‘at’ when everything in this world is eternally expanding.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ” I had fallen for this too constantly looking for love outside of me, it was only when I met Serge Benhayon did I come to understand that love is within us, and begins with self-love to be able to feel it in others.
Most of us have grown up feeling and chasing a false form of love through acceptance and recognition for what we do, and the devastation, the highs and lows, of attaching our worth to others’ opinions of us or their behaviours. Eventually we realise that true love between us can only come from the inside of us first: we cannot truly love another unless we love ourselves first. Without self love and appreciation we’re constantly at the mercy of the world around us and its opinions of us.
‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? ‘ It is just not possible to fully accept and appreciate another if we do not already feel this and know this in and for ourselves. How awesome to realise this early in life and to have parents who live this way and can support their children to be love rather than feel the need to search for it elsewhere.
This is such a universal experience “the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised” as part of looking outside of ourselves for conditional love, it’s an enormous illusion yet so much of our culture actually confirms this as if it’s a truth – and we live as if it’s a truth.
When we accept that love comes from within, not from some external force or outside of ourselves it allows us to accept that we are indeed our very own fountain of love.
You can go a millions roads, take a thousand routes, try a hundred drugs but nothing can stop the fact that your wellbeing and development all comes down to you. There is no better place, more suitable time, easier audience or friendlier crowd. Each day is just a test to see if you will shy away from living in a loving way. Thank you Alison for reminding me this fundamental fact of life.
I so love your blog Alison. Yes, we are the one we have been waiting for, who would have thought that all those years and lives have been spent in search for what we have carried within all along. This truth has been shared over and over through the eons, but until we stop to feel this truth we will choose to live in ignorance, that what we are searching resides in our very being.
When we start a new relationship with the knowing that we are love, living and expressing from love then it allows the other person space to be themselves. But if we approach them seeking for love, it could feel suffocating, imposing, restrictive and even demanding. I have had a few relationships in the past like that and it doesn’t feel loving.
Great point Chan about the effects of seeking love from others often feeling “suffocating, imposing, restrictive and even demanding”, it can happen across the board in any kind of relationship. Imagine a world where everybody took responsibility to be the love that they are, 7+ billion bodies emanating love – relationship counsellors would be out of business!
This is so true and something I am realising more and more where do we focus our attention. For instance, if whilst with another person an old pattern, ill ideal or belief arise do I go into to this or see it for what it is and choose to be love instead. If I go into the old pattern etc it feels horrible and pulls me off track but if I stay with me I can clearly feel that this old hurt etc is not me anyway. ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’
Gosh! Pretty much the whole world has misunderstood what love is all about. I love that you have brought the focus on the need to love the person who is looking back at us when we look in the mirror. There is no end to the love and cherishing that we can have for ourselves and once we have connected with that love in us we are easily love everyone else. Seems like this is a great place to start with our education system, that is to support children to love themselves in full and of course we can only do this if we adult love ourselves. What a great responsibility we then have to deeply love ourselves.
I agree Elizabeth, to teach children about love, respect or equality the teachers (parents and adults) have to be living what they teach, otherwise it feels like we are telling them lies and our words will feel hollow and powerless.
It’s funny how what we truly seek is patiently waiting within ourselves. I am finding that it is from our foundation of care and nurturing we begin to accept more love into our lives because we are opening up our own hearts and letting our connection to our body lead the way. Every moment offers us a choice to nurture and express from within with honesty and sensitivity to what we feel. It is a key element to explore living life with responsibility and reflects that we truly are all the ONE and that which then interconnects us all.
This is so beautifully done. Yes, we are the ones we have been waiting for, for all the love we have been seeking from others has been within all along.
When we re-connect with the love that we are in our essence we have a foundation that doesn’t need recognition or others to be a certain way because we are complete, and that doesn’t mean we don’t care about others but in fact can care and love even more truly because we don’t put conditions on how much we will love another.
We are all already love, we have disconnected from this truth long ago and are finally claiming ourselves back to be the son of God that we truly are.
Love can only be something “To Be” that is to embody and to behold as love cannot be given or taken from us. If we allow ourselves to first begin this loving quest with finding and confirming that we are our own Mr and Mrs, love rather than romance will then be the foundation with a partner.
It is not love that hurts but the withholding of our expression of this love. When we understand this, we understand that not only are we ‘the one’, we are also all the One expression of this divine love.
Great blog Alison. I too always thought love was something you had to get from some-one else and was always in search of it. It was such a relief when I heard Serge Benhayon present on the fact that we are love and we simply needed to reconnect to the love we innately are. This can never be taken away, no matter how many partners or friends or family members leave us.
So beautifully expressed Alison -this underlying truth, that only we can Love ourselves is written large in human history, popping its head up persistently. Not only is so much of our philosophy about finding that elusive partner, but also to do with seeking the eternally wise saviour. On both counts it’s us, who as you show are perfectly equipped to come through and step into our glory – we are all the one who is here to change history.
Woohoo we are the ONE. And when we claim it undoubtedly others know they are the ONE TOO.
Conditional love – even at its best is not love.
Alison, this is so beautiful, ‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’ I would say a definite YES, looking for love outside of ourselves does not work from my experience, having a loving and appreciative relationship with myself feels much more solid and true, we are rarely taught this by our parents and at school, if this were taught our relationships with ourselves and others would be very different, we would have more confidence in ourselves and relationships with others would be based on true love rather than based on need.
If love is one whole thing–one love in this one unified life, then love in its expression has to be equal to all! How we express is important but how much another is willing to receive is also their choice. I always ask myself if there is a reflection of a resistance to receiving this love fully, where is the resistance of myself expressing this love fully? And there I will venture to love deeper 🙂
I love this article! And have only started to practice, ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ And to find this is so true! To not go down the road of neediness that has never given me the love that I craved: the love that I am.
I had never considered that love could be a normal way of being with everyone and like you, thought it was only reserved for a privileged few. Looking back those few got a raw deal because my idea of love was full of conditions, holding back, withdrawing etc. It took me a while before I understood that the love I was able to express started with the love I was able to give myself and that was the beginning of things turning around for me and my relationships.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are…” Such a powerful sentence Alison. You are so right though, as there is nothing or no-one that can confirm this love to us more than we can confirm it to ourselves, and it is this love that will transform how we are with everyone and with everything we do in our lives.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” I agree its time to bring focus back on ourselves, bring back the self love first, not looking for it outside of us, its all within us,we need to choose to connect to it.
We have a choice as to where we focus on love or not and life is very different depending on our choices even though the specifics of life might in theory ‘look’ the same. The truth is nothing out there can love us and in fact the love we crave is in us, and as we learn to live and embrace this we become the living embodiment of the love we are. Thank you Alison for reminding me today that it’s about choosing love.
It is interesting to see in how knowing this truth not always makes us live it. We are bound by our choices and the momentum we hold, but as you share in this blog, the love we hold is so much greater than the love we receive when we are on the quest for it. It comes to be an obvious choice, and it is all coming from the appreciation of our own being that this love can grow.
It is interesting what you say Alison, do we emphasize on the what is or on the what is not in our lives. I know I can feel it in my body as a tension, a strain, when I give more attention to the what is not while my body feels as a flow when I am in the what is. I do appreciate my body more and more for the perfect guide it is to stay connected and focussed on the what is instead of straying away into the what is not and in that bring hurt to my body because of me simply choosing so.
It’s quite remarkable how when we turn the focus inward and begin to look at our love for ourselves, that all our relationships get affected. When we are full with our own love, that love can pour out of us. That love is love, there is no fine print that comes with it – no needs and no conditions, simply liven all its glory.
It’s beautiful to consider that we have love pouring through our body all the time – all we have to do is choose to align with that and allow it to be in all our expressions and activities. It’s not something another can give to us, nor that they need to, but something that we can simply share with others once we have re-connected with it in ourself.
Beautiful said Fiona, and it makes it that simple as it is just that choice we all can make in every moment, to choose the love that is constantly there for us to say yes to. When I look to our nowadays society I can see the repercussion rejecting this love has on our human values and that it is not a wise thing to do.
The way we live human life seems to say that we have limited choices and have to mostly accept life and the things we experience as “it”, but if we have the entire universe pouring through us at any one time then it’s truly unlimited what we can choose, experience, and be part of at any given time.
Alison, this is such a great article, I would say yes to your question, ‘is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?’ I and my peers spent many years looking for ‘Mr.Right’ and would put all of our focus and attention into this search, this was a very rocky road and felt full of disappointment, heartache and feeling lonely, sad or let down. We did not consider that we could love ourselves and so didn’t need this love from outside of us, this would have changed everything and would have saved wasting years of looking for ‘Mr.Right’.
Perfect Alison – just the confirmation I needed to read this morning. The analogy of the puddle in the sun caught my attention in the sense that yes, our common perception of love is that it is rare and evaporates quickly – but the truth about love is it is more like the sun itself, endlessly shining and evaporating (healing) that which is not love once we choose it as our way. I also love your statement about responsibility for loving ourselves and feel how this exposes the fact that we are not victims of life but responsible for our choices to either be love or be in the illusion of seeking it. This also says to me that whilst we can experience hurts, we only do so because we have chosen to be less than the love that we are in the first place and are hence responsible for this too. There is no real need to walk in protection in life but instead to walk in the fullness of our connection to love, where hurts cannot touch us.
If we do not start with our relationship to self first we have already given our power away. This not only brings in delay but halts our own evolution and growth. Committing to ourselves first lays the foundation for all other relationships thereafter and that’s where the true beauty and joy begins to blossom.
Great question Alison; we spend so much time thinking about and looking for ‘the one’, but if we are looking for someone to love, listen, appreciate and be super respectful to us who’s to say WE can’t have this relationship with ourselves?
Self- love is very important and many people poo poo it, some people say, that’s so last era, but for some self-love is still something they need to work on. Loving themselves, and this I feel is to be honoured and appreciated. For we can’t bypass or skip this bit and jump straight to love, we need to literally build a body of pure love and that starts with deepening our self love until it becomes love – it forever keeps deepening, there is no end, where we can stop and put our feet up. It’s forever expanding and growing.
How can I love anyone else if I don’t love myself and how could anyone else love me if I don’t love myself first? These are questions I have always asked myself and now to know we are love already and what we have to do is remove all that is not love, no search required, is definitely a move in the right direction.
In my experience too the kind of relationship that we have with ourself is what sets us up for how truly loving we then can be with others.
This certainly puts on its head the romantic Hollywood notion of finding ‘the one’ and living happily ever after. “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for”. It certainly could. And then what a joyful, loving and powerful self we can take to all our relationships.
I love what you are saying here about how we are love to begin with so it is never a matter of going in search of love but rather a matter of expressing the love that we are. This changes everything because normally people feel devoid of love and then go around wanting people to fill that vacuum when there is no vacuum to begin with. To realize this is life changing.
Yes Elizabeth I agree, to know we can re-connect to this grand love we all have within stops the endless search, this is a game changer when truly lived.
I love this! It’s all about loving the reflection in the mirror! We are the ones to love ourselves and embody that quality in everything we do.
It is our own responsibility to be love, and be loved and I don’t mean pleasing others but knowing love for what it truly is as a holding quality of energy that is encompassing ourselves and others equally.
An article on love that turns back to us rather then run off into the world. This was also my awareness of how love was “As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ” The way love is that is spoken about in this article makes much more sense and in fact actually works. The endless ‘looking for love’ or chasing love never work and would always turn back to the same place, almost like you were starting again. In a way this is true as looking for love from another or try to give them love always had a point of lifting you up and then at some point you were down again and then you would start the process again. Bringing love consistently to yourself and appreciating all you feel builds back the foundation of love for you to stand and step from and also in turn bring that love in yourself to others. You don’t stop ‘loving’ the world, you love them more and more.
Aren’t we fed the biggest load of rubbish about love? Seriously! You only need to watch a film clip to see what sort of message we are constantly being sent. It’s insane and it’s deep, really deep. I feel one of the worst ones is the idea that love is all about compromise. Why did we start believing this? Surely we’ve cottoned on to the fact that compromise ends in resentment…and therefore doesn’t actually feel like love. There is a simplicity in love that takes away all the ideals and beliefs we’ve bought in to, there are no conditions, no rules, it just is what it is, and it’s available for all.
It was quite a revelation when presented with the notion and finally realizing it for myself what it means to BE love and sharing this beingness instead of ‘doing’ love like in seeking to be loved by someone and doing my best to love them back. Love is not a doing but a state of being. That´s very different from what we get presented by the ways of the world.
Inside out not outside in … if we look outside for love, we set ourselves up, there is always a condition or something to chase, and while I now understand this well, I still find living it to be very much a work in progress. We are so programmed to look out, and in order to come back to the understanding that love starts with us first, we need to look inside and express this out, and there is an adjustment and a letting go, as each external measure we’ve used or craved is let go to come back to simply being us, that’s all that is needed.
When we bring focus and purpose to our own reflection in the mirror we can begin to get truly honest with how we are living life. I found the most beautiful way to honour me and my body is through the simple daily movements I make with simple tasks. How I move when I get out of bed, is it gentle and purposeful or am I sluggish and racey? Asking myself these questions and being aware of past choices I have made have given me a greater awareness for my body and how I care for myself and this is a great learning tool we have on offer always
Beautiful words of truth Alison. Love is who we are and it is always our choice whether we share this with the world or not. However if we choose not to, we set ourselves up for a blind search for this seemingly allusive substance, forever seeking externally and thus being driven by the unquenchable thirst we suffer from when we deny ourselves the love that we are.
Loving ourselves first is so important. Yet this basic tenet of life is not something understood by society. We are called selfish for putting ourselves first. Yet, as I witnessed in a lifesaver training recently, when wanting to rescue another from danger you don’t put yourself in peril. For then you are of no use whatsoever. You can throw a rope or a ring to someone and pull them out of dangerous waters – it’s not always necessary to jump in alongside them. And if you have to techniques are taught to ensure your own safety first.
Just the blog I needed to read Alison. It’s from love and appreciation of ourselves that the love and appreciation for all others grows.
Humanity has accepted and tolerated so much “in the name of love”. We need to come to a true understanding of what love is and one of the great untruths about love is that it is emotional. There is not one ounce of emotion in love and this really does expose how we have been sold a lie about love and that we have accepted this lie.
“And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” Very much so, as it does not allow us to see the beauty in everybody but keeps us in a state of scanning and checking everybody out in relation to our likes and dislikes. We sell ourselves very short if we only look for the one and we miss out on the beauty that is all around.
Looking back, there were a few years at the end of school when I felt lonely, comparing myself to my friends who had girlfriends and thinking that the only way to feel less lonely/happier would be by having a girlfriend. Your blog would have been a helpful read back then – and I feel fortunate today to understand that energy is everything and that love comes from the body…it’s not something to seek outside of ourselves.
The potential to be the one is ever present. The choice to be so is what shapes our lived output.
Like a food you know is isn’t helping you, but still lures you in to have ‘one more go’ our traditional idea of Love can be a hard one to let go. Sure we see the false gestures and trappings aren’t right but do we really stop and accept that Love is actually something we already are? If we go back for a ‘quick bite’ of the old idea – what is it about us that wants to make our day unclear? Reading your words this morning Alison, it feels like a way I complicate life to avoid what I am here to do – but this just causes me strife.
I can remember all the times in my life where I have felt a lack of contentment, confidence, self-assuredness and natural joy and instead felt everything but that. I can remember seeking love in a relationship with another and how that would be the ultimate dream come true if that relationship became a part of my life only to realise that it did not remove the emptiness within me. It would only cause it to be highlighted and shown for what it is, because if you truly bring love into the relationship then all that is not love naturally gets shown.
Beautiful blog Alison. The one relationship I miss the most is one with God. From realising this I am also missing another very important relationship and that is the one with myself. I never thought about this before, prior to Universal Medicine but it is in deepening the love within myself that will bring love to the world/humanity.
It is true, all our endeavors in seeking love outside of ourselves are deemed in the end to leave ourselves empty, it isn’t in any way attention can keep us feeling full. It is the attention, care and love we give to ourselves that will change our need for love.
I agree with this Alison, ‘Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life’, I have observed the rollercoaster that my friends and I went through as young women looking for love, we would look outside of ourselves for this, always wanting someone to give this to us, there would be great days, although these would be few and far between and then very low days. It feels very different now loving myself and so not having these big up and downs. I feel more steady and content.
I had this notion in my head that I had no idea what ‘being the one’ was. But that’s actually not true as being the one, so far to me, is being the one that is love in any and eventually every moment. I don’t have to be me for anyone other than myself which is a pressure I have experienced and believed, that I had to be love for them in a way that I was being the love that they themselves couldn’t be. But this perception is very draining and the more I try to be love for others I prevent them from seeing that they can also be ‘the one’ in their own lives. The more I am me for me inspires others to change more than if I do things or try to be the one for them.
‘ I don’t have to be me for anyone other than myself’ This is certainly not the belief that I grew to accept as I travelled through life as a child and then a young woman. By being me for me first I am naturally me for everyone. This becomes more obvious as time goes by.
Further to above, it is not enough to leave such a concept as a theological proposition to be debated by academic scholars. Rather, live according to such a tenet and see what it brings you. If you find it serves you, and that you find that life starts to bring you deeper revelations in this regard, then all the more power to you.
Indeed Adam, living the love and wisdom we hold empowers us and what naturally follows from this is the ripple effects of this power, also touching people’s lives.
This teaching is certainly a diversion away from the Christian teaching that there was only one Son of God, but one that inherently makes sense if one was to argue the nature of God.
It could be that simple couldn’t it? Start with ourselves, experience that, then share it around. What a super simple process.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” Absolutely, this is the main loving relationship, if we don’t work on the foundation on this we will have a rocky start. Something I have been working on building which has supported and deepened all my other relationships.
Our surrender to who we are within, to the great love the resides within all, is what guides us to know that regardless of where we are, who we are with, what we are doing this love is always present, always holding and always inviting us to explore and deepen our connection to the majesty of who we are.
As I deepen my understanding and commitment to remaining connected with my body, the fact that thoughts trigger emotion is there for me to experience every day. A simple choice of thinking ahead is enough to open the flood gates for past and future thoughts to affect my body. Yet when I commit to the present moment, there is only the deepest joy for the still, steady beauty that is there. How much more can we support another when we come to them in our steadiness, rather than in a state of unrest from wandering thoughts. As shared here, deep appreciation for myself and the beauty I bring is what supports me to choose, breath by breath, my steadiness that is there in the presence.
Great blog, thank you for that, the self-loving foundation is so vital to be able to love others.
I still find I can take more care and pay more attention to things that I am doing for others. When it comes to doing the same thing for myself, I am less bothered. It’s interesting that it seems I matter less to myself than others. Why should that be? I know that since I have been choosing to appreciate myself each day this attitude is changing and I am seeing how important and central my relationship with me is.
‘When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.’ This is gold Alison and key to deepening the relationship with yourself and then offering this love and appreciation to others.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Well said Alison the fact we do not want to recognise this and instead choose to fight it with all our might is the exact reason the world is in the mess that it is.
Brilliant Alison, you show how we have life and Love the wrong way around. Far from being something others posesss this Love is our responsibility to claim as ours, to step, to walk, to talk, to flaunt. Talk about empowering – we are divine kings and queens, and we are here to live this truth.
It’s such a clear and relatable description, I am still transitioning out of conditional love and I had to laugh when I read about the holding back, distancing and at times complete retreat. It’s all quite a dance of waiting for others to be love, offering ours, withdrawing it, but there is nothing pleasant about the roller coaster. Thanks for the inspiration through your blog to be solid in the love I am and let go of looking outside of myself.
Beautiful to feel you reminding us all of the love of our life that is staring back at us everytime we look in the mirror. It is the search for recognition and this love outside ourselves is that which makes us forget this undeniable truth.
Could we be the one… only if we choose to be, moment by moment.
Having spent my life comparing myself to others and striving to be more than I was, putting the focus on appreciating myself rather than ‘beating’ myself up for not being good enough is a complete game-changer. I have discovered that this is such an enhancing way to live.
By segregating love into only certain people whom we trust, we miss out on so many qualities of people all around us who might be genuine, sincere and are bringing extraordinary amounts of joy to the world. It is also proven that with even the ones we ‘love’ there is instability, tension and sometimes arguments.
Love this blog! Brilliant sharing of the fact it’s all inside us just need to focus on bringing that out!
‘Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.’ A beautiful surrender to you.
Yes the surrender into this is the key.
I thought I knew what self care and self love was, and according to the usual definition of it I did. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine bring a much deeper and expanded version of this understanding, one that I actually knew in my heart but did not think was possible or even appropriate for this life. This self care and self love is true in the absolute sense of the word and there is a process in reclaiming it. I may have a long way to go to live this absolutely but acceptance and appreciation in what I have already reclaimed is pivotal for the continuing journey.
Starting with the person in the mirror. It reminds me of a song from the past, but it’s the perfect place to begin. Who do we have the most influence over? When I finally stopped trying to fix everyone else and embraced the idea that changing myself didn’t mean I was at fault, (which was the way I used to think) but that I could make different choices and be curious about the consequences, then my whole world started to change.
Love is a quality of our being, no need to go looking for it outside of us, yet once we connect to our love it the greatest joy to share and confirm this love with each other. This is a place we all meet in equality.
When I was little I loved everyone. It was like a warm embrace I held all in from my enormous heart. This felt completely natural and harmonious. Then as I grew up I learnt to direct love to certain people, to hold it back with some or do things for others. Love when it becomes emotional like this, feels needy, manipulative and exhausting! Serge Benhayon has consistently lived the love I knew as a child. There is no on or off switch and not an ounce of emotion. This is the love I know to be true.
I was feeling how this title alone could set some people into a flurry. Religion has told us there will be ‘the one’ who comes back to save us. That must mean that the rest of us are less worthy or have too much sin to be the one. What if we are all the ones who will save us? What if we already have everything we need to be the one? What if this belief that we have to wait for someone spectacular to appear from heaven, is stopping us from realising that we are all equal sons of God?
Quite a set up really, and lacking in any true responsibility.
‘Finding love’ is not it – like you are saying Alison. Love is a choice and quality of being, not something we go in search for or get from someone else. Essentially, we cannot give another love as they too are already it and love is already the maker of all they are. This is quite a huge realisation and one that can transform relationships as their is then no pressure or need to receive from each other but to share what is lived and already within.
‘Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are’ I love this sentence, it is definitely time to bring our focus back to who is right here, right now and embrace that amazingness in full – that amazingness is what will change the whole world around.
It is fascinating how much we are taught and brought up to direct love to those closest to us and somehow hold them in more love. But how can we truly love someone if at the same time we are judging, resenting and annoyed at someone else? How can we love someone more than anybody else, if love is simply love? We seem to have got soo caught up in the emotional love we have largely lost sight of the fact that love is equally in all of us and not something we can direct to one person without sharing it with everyone. If we think about it this way we cannot go through our day at work just carrying on, getting caught up in life etc., and then expect to come home and deeply love and appreciate our partner or family – the quality we are in one area directly affects all other areas – and the same goes with love!
The idea of supporting myself and not looking to others to provide the love I crave is relatively new, but now that I am making it a focus, it feels very solid and foundational. I am looking after myself and that feels lovely and I have put myself on an appreciation program which counteracts the negative inner chatter. These simple small acts mean I am not so needy of others.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” – It’s a big yes from me!
This is really beautiful Alison, thank you for sharing this paradigm-shift of how we can understand love and relationships. For me too the clarity that Serge Benhayon has presented on what love is and isn’t has made huge difference to how I approach and understand myself and life – it’s like being reminded of something you knew deep down but had forgotten or been overriding..
I can so relate to this, in the past I used to always look outside for love. Writing this now what I can feel is that subconsciously I actual believed that I could not love myself and needed to find someone else that could!!! This should be a fundamental teaching in everyones lives, how to take care of ourselves and to deeply love and nurture ourselves and I also feel this is key what you have shared ‘When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do’ … this is a great place to start if we have no idea where to start with self-love.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” This is true for me as well and what an amazing present it is.
Why do we ignore the very thing that will basically give us all that we ever need? It seems crazy when we stop and consider how much we actually neglect ourselves,
Just makes perfect sense, when we fill ourselves with love it can’t help but spill out into everything that we do.
Alison, this is what we are taught about love as we grow up: “As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.”…and when we then get to realise that it is something that is already inside of us and we just need to be it, we can feel rather fooled, taken for a ride, that we could have missed something so natural!
It is beautiful, to see the truth of love that we are. Seeking what is love outside of ourselves is leaving us empty. The emptiness continues as long as we don’t make the choice to not hide any more.
A very wise man once remarked to me that I missed myself. I instantly knew that this was true and through building and reconnecting to me, I now no longer feel the constant emptiness that I used to try and fill with all manner of distractions. Its great to realise that ‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me..’
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ This is what I continue to work with. I am dropping the habit of focusing on what’s wrong, which invariably is very small in comparison to all there is to appreciate in my life.
How many of us have loved with an underlying fear of it not lasting? Do we create what we fear? I love your statement Alison – ‘I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life’. This is so beautiful, empowering and expansive. Today I have claimed ‘true love’ within me and within my relationships with others. Claiming this love is up to each of us – this is our foundation.
When we are faced with a reflection that delivers truth and we do not get the attention and recognition we are seeking for what we have done, we are then given a moment to reflect on what is the true meaning of love; a blessing sent from God.
Me too – I used to think I had to have special someone to love, more than the rest, to direct love at, and never thought love was the essence of who we are. I can feel how there still is a ‘trying’ for me when it comes to being love, but self-love is a movement that reminds and confirms to me that essence within to be expressed outwardly.
‘is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love? ‘ – Wow this is pretty huge. I sure did spend a long time looking for ‘the one’ without truly considering that I was it first. And in discovering this, I have learnt to deeply love myself and I am in a beautiful and ever expanding marriage with a man who truly cares for himself and for me.
We are the ONE individually and together we are the ONE. This may sounds to be a contradiction but to me it is a reality I can clearly see and experience in my every-days life as I am not alone on the planet but I live with many people like you and me. We do influence one another in many ways and in that I can see this ONE-ness we in general do not appreciate yet for what is actually can bring to us. In this time I can sense that we are holding one another in certain ways, as being given in the many rules and regulations that are in place, that to me are not truly contributing to the exploration and evolution of the power we are able to access when we unite and start to live that ONE-ness in person and in humanity as a whole.
Yes, Alison, when we drop all the pictures and ideals about a romantic kind of love as portrayed in the movies, and connect deeply to the stillness that resides within us, true love becomes an every day experience as we live as one with God and become The One for ourselves.
Appreciating ourselves, deeply in every moment in the knowing that we are Love, divinity and otherworldly is key to living a fulfilling life – one of true equalness and true service.
Much more empowering way to view love, God, and religion than the belief that we are but sinners owing our allegiance to a judgemental God.
Definitely more empowering, but a view that some prefer not to have because of the responsibly that comes with it… there is much here for us all to learn, accept and embrace – we can run away from the beauty of it if we decide to see it only as a chore and responsibility. But if we choose to embrace it, it is amazing to feel what awaits us.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” – Serge Benhayon presents with such clarity on the topic of Love, helping dispel many harming ideals around what we think it has to be or where it has to come from and with that empowers everyone to reconnect with the innate love that we are in our essence. This is priceless.
Feeling and knowing we are all the love that is universally available is possibly the most incredibly magical experience we have access to. As this truth and reality unfolds for me it does feel magical but it isn’t a mystery or a secret we are the Ones that bring this truth to ourselves.
We want someone to know us in a deeply intimate way but if we ignore our own feelings how can we know ourselves what is deeply intimate. Could another be connecting to us on a level that we have yet to go to with ourselves and as such don’t see the deep love they bring? When first meeting Serge he loved me (and still does) far more than I had loved myself. Not in pity or to show off but to inspire that such care and love from within is very possible. When we love ourselves we show others that we are each the one for ourselves and equally for others.
‘Love hurts’ and ‘it is better to have lost and never loved’ have been such strong themes and beliefs in my life that to discover and experience that Love is not that is like discovering that the world is not flat.
Love is an energy that we tend to reject (as in self-love) and desire (as in Ms. or Mr. Right’s love) at the same time. We tend to only see the last bit and wish it were the only thing as far as love is concerned. Yet, it is not true. We are personally responsible for the first and most important bit. No one can do this for us.
Thank you Alison for a great article, romantic love is looking outside of ourselves for the one who can give us what it is we desire, and when we don’t get the love we are looking for we feel hurt and rejected. It is amazingly simple when we come to know the truth that what we long for was deep within us all the time, just waiting to be connected to. How wonderful is that.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ Very true Alison, this is something I am learning as well and what a game changer it is – for starters, the relationship with others and myself begins to take on a deeper quality.
Love is who we ALL are at essence and the greatest healing comes when we reconnect to that for in truly reconnecting to ourselves we naturally reconnect to all.
Absolutely, that relationship with ourselves is what I am finding to be the most fundamental of connections. It stops us being needy, overdoing it, going on wild goose chases! Now why didn’t I know this from birth?!?!
I have always felt a discomfort whenever I come across people who openly express they only care about their own family, for as much as I admire their honesty I can feel how this form of love is false, that if love comes from within as Alison beautifully describes in this blog, then the love you have emanating from you couldn’t actually ever be reserved for just your “loved ones”. In fact the very idea of loved ones would mean that you don’t have any true love for anyone. Just a false emotional erratic idea of what love is that isn’t actually true. And when we have love within us, bult from our love for ourselves, then we have everything we need and the only possible next step is to love everyone else. Not in a going out and hugging and proclaiming love for everyone manner, but in a beholding, respectful and compassionate way of living that never see anyone as less important.
It is in getting the understanding of true love that we find that it is something to live, not something to search for.
Ten years ago a very wise Esoteric practitioner put to me, nobody else can love you if you don’t love yourself first.
We are all part of the one, the encompassing. When we separate that is when we loose the connection to oneness.
Great blog Alison, thank you. The art is certainly about love, pure and simple; the love we have for ourselves and others;
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else”.
No amount of love to or from another can save us. It is the love we have for ourselves that brings about salvation.
It’s amazing the importance we put on having a relationship when so often the relationship is the very thing that is taking us away from the love that we are, as we become more empty looking for someone else to fill our void.
We cannot fully love ourselves without looking at the judgment we are holding of ourselves as this judgement is a simple invitation to abuse, and when we are busy abusing how can we possibly create the space to love?
I Am Love .. before anything else. This is a simple fact that we are here to remind ourselves and each other of, in every moment we can, for all we truly want in life is to be love and to love and so we need to return to the knowingness that we already are and always have been. It’s Absolute!
Ahhhh Alison – every word of this blog is brilliant and I know is so true. Part of me would love for there to be a problem with someone else, or an action they should not do, and way that maybe is just not right. But you blow that out of the water and demonstrate that is so not true. It’s down to us, to me and to you. No matter the scenario, symptom or situation we all have the ability and capability to bring Love, stillness, and harmony. Knowing we are the ‘one’ who’s job is to bring this to everyone can help us see we are actually connected and literally one family. So how powerful it is when we bring power and light to any dark moment day or night.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” That’s the commitment we build in the body that then is our foundation to truly love another as we love ourselves. Confirming and appreciating we are the ‘One’.
The love we hold is expressed through our movements, our voice and our every living way and it is from this expression a ripple effect is shared wherever we are and with whomever we are with. Our bodies are the true leaders in love and connection and the great responsibility we hold.
We are so indoctrinated into thinking that we need to go out and find the ’one’ that is perfect for us…that life partner, one true love that will make us complete. In the U.S about 40% to 50% of marriages end in divorce (1), this statistic is telling us something about the way we are approaching love, could it be that the romantic love we have so heavily identified with maybe isn’t it?
Universal Medicine is leading the way in educating the public on the true meaning of the word love. This can only be taught by those that live it, for it is our body that holds the complete intelligence on this matter.
This article is a great exploration into rediscovering the word LOVE and reclaiming its true purpose.
1.www.apa.org/topics/divorce/
It sounds crazy that we live so guarded about how much love we show the world, when in fact if we show it all we can’t be hurt.
A great point – we keep love on reserve, that we make it something special. What I am learning through the presentations and the lived way by Serge Benhayon and many others is that love is far more grander than what we have settled for, yet actually ordinary, our normal way of being by default.
Some great points in this article. Until we start to actually build a loving relationship with ourselves and live from that, it is hard to comprehend that the searching for love is futile and only serves to trap us in the need to have someone in our lives. Is it any wonder that when the dust settles we wonder why we hooked up with someone in the first place and then just settle and make the best of it.
We are all the One in truth as we are all a part of the all encompassing Oneness. It is when we separate and start living for self alone that we become divided, and the One becomes fragmented.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Someone who is so close and always there and knows us best!
To be the one whom we love and who loves us wholeheartedly seems to be the last thing we consider while we are so occupied with feeling deficient, seeking recognition, striving, driving, achieving… to compensate for the lack of love. Love is the healer of everything that is not love we have identified with and we are the one to give it ourselves.
“I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me,” Initially I have found this somewhat overwhelming but the more I accept, live and embody this the lighter and more expansive I feel and with that open to love.
To be THE ONE it requires us to really being here in life in full, embracing who we are and what it is for us to express as our contribution to the all for all. Everyone actually is the one but before we live that fact it is a potential that needs to be activated otherwise we don´t live as The One.
‘Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror’ I love this line! I clocked the other day when expressing my love for another that it was rich, full of joy and came completely from my whole body that I don’t apply the same love to myself in the same way! It’s definitely time to love myself back. (I deserve it!)
When we start to get a glimpse of the fact that we are ‘pure all-encompassing and beholding LOVE’, that it is our true nature we also realize how far we have strayed away from being who we are; and then the work begins, the path of return to being love in full.
Yes see how wrong have we got it! I grew up to understand the same; ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This could not be further away from the truth. Thank Goodness for the sensibleness (not sure if this is a word!), knowing and wisdom of Serge Benhayon who has been the first person in this era ‘to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’
It sounds simple when you read or hear it doesn’t it, that love is an energy we embody from within ourselves that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care. But this is what the world is not currently living hence all the mess. That is the pure beauty of Serge Benhayon, what he brings is absolute gold and what we (humanity) have been calling for for a long time. Once we know these truths, age old ill consciousnesses can be broken and we can start to live in a way that feels loving and true for us.
This blog highlights the very real situation that many of us face when we are alone, a situation that can be heavily avoided these days with technology and entertainment.
There are so many ideas and pictures that exist in our society of what love is, all that involve us having to get or achieve something or being lucky for it to be love. Yet in truth it can never be love unless we are connected to ourselves, as who we are within is already absolute love. A love that can never be measured, is unconditional, never leaves us, knows all that we are, and is our eternal and constant guide for us to live the Divinity that we naturally are.
The trouble with living life in anticipation of being hurt and with even a shade of mistrust – we are not then being open to true connection and are erecting barriers between ourselves and others.
The Search for love is ending, when we choose to see the true love that is there for ourselves. The one is there all along, just a choice away.
Yes, isn’t it crazy how we spend so much of our life searching for what we already are, looking everywhere except within.
Finding love had been an arduous process until I found the presentations by Serge Benhayon. Finding the truth about love and then living it has been a learning curve that I have joy-fully accepted. Now I have become aware of how my daily choices affect me and those around me.
For me it is a tragedy that we have been sold a version of love that is nowhere near the truth of what it really is. The old adage that “love hurts” in my experience is completely false. The only thing that hurts are our investment in needs in others, something outside of us. Learning to connect to myself and in learning to love and appreciate myself means that I no longer have any need from anyone to fill a void, but in having developed a greater foundation of love and self worth means that all my other relationships are enriched too as they are approached in an ease and in a natural expression of love and appreciation. .
So much truth written here it’s a blessing to read. The quest for Mr/Mrs Right taking away from knowing the love that we are that we could share with all others is so true. What a distraction I see still get in there some days when I get a spark of potential idealised bliss from an image of what could be -rather than loving and celebrating the love I am discovering I actually am.
Yes Alison finding I was the missing piece in the puzzle, that hollow part inside me that I could never fill, well not for long anyway, was to have that loving relationship with myself first. It makes such common sense to live in an honouring relationship with ourselves and live the love we naturally are.
So true Alison the more we appreciate, confirm and accept our natural joyful and loving nature the less space there is to think negatively about our self. If psychologists were to teach this to their clients instead of rehashing their past with them true healing would be possible.
It has been a very big revelation to me to realise that I wasn’t a true friend to myself, that I didn’t have that relationship with myself, that I didn’t love myself. So how on earth could I be a true friend to anyone else. And then I met a true friend, Serge Benhayon, whose friendship and love of me, has inspired me to have the same love and friendship of myself..and now I am able to be a true friend to many.
A deeply precious return to all that we are is well worth choosing – the other option is to continue in the misery of searching for something out side of ourselves that we will never find. For what we miss is our connection to the love we are, which is with us the entire time, awaiting our return.
We all want love and yet we are already it. Most have forgotten what true love is and yet they know at heart which is why they can never be satisfied, for the emotional imposters that we call love but are anything but love.
‘Could We Be THE One?’ – Yes! I have often looked outside myself and still do from love from others instead of not needing people – but deeply loving, celebrating and cherishing myself. Knowing I am the one, and all the love I could ever possible want is grander than at this time I can possible imagine, I can feel a hint of it, and know it, that this is huge and deeper depths to always go to, never ending, inside of myself. When I connect to myself – there is no need – a relationship with myself is something I am re-learning. How to deeply adore and cherish myself to boot, and not allow abuse.
There is no excuse to feel rejected or hurt especially when it is actually up to us to heal and come to an understanding of it. So often we seek love from others, just as we blame the world for all the hurts we hold onto. It is a silly game really when we feel the fact that it is our own love that can ever suffice.
Great blog Alison; thank you for the gentle reminder that it is all about choice and responsibility;
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ – everything else.”
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ – This pretty much sums up the emotional roller coaster of what we think love is. Something outside of who we are, when in actual fact, it is something we already are. It’s a huge game! We are sold so much by way of romance and images of love being something we need to get from others, yet all the while we have the Kingdom within. The search is over people, just be Love.
How complicated we make it when we look for love outside ourselves because it has to meet certain expectations or ideals we put in place, when the simplicity is that we are love we have it within us and there is no need to look for love outside, but share that love we hold within.
I agree Alison, that we need to appreciate and accept who we truly are, and not look to others to give us that deep and abiding love we all look for outside of ourselves.
Thank you Alison, this is truly beautiful to read, when I focus on the ‘what is not’ I get stuck and can only find more of the same, when I focus on the ‘what is’ in my life everything unfolds beautifully and there is a deep appreciation and acceptance within me and with all my relationships.
Whilst it was clear from the way I was living, prior to being introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, that, seemingly, I had no understanding of what love actually is, that it’s not something we find on the outside, it’s what we innately are and the more we connect with ourselves and surrender to our gorgeous selves that well of love just keeps getting deeper. This is very evident to me, however, now that I’ve chosen to love myself from the inside out, I know without any doubt that this is not a new revelation to me. It’s something I’ve known all along, but because I’d disconnected from this knowing, this wisdom, I couldn’t feel it anymore, therefore, it took someone else who, incidentally, lives the fullness of their love every single moment of every single day to remind me, with love.
‘Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care’ ….. ditto for me too.
It took me quite a while to fully appreciate and feel in my body what self love actually is, even after Serge explained it multiple times at workshops and presentations. I had to actually start loving myself and feel what this felt like on a physical level in my body, to live with self love day to day before I could honestly say I understood what he meant.
Brilliant de-bunking of some big ideals or beliefs that are widely held about how love should look, bringing it back to the simplicity of true spherical love.
Laying this foundation of loving choices builds trust and from here we are able to see with understanding, behaviours and patterns that no longer serve us and hence make changes that feel truly supportive.
What i can really hear from your blog Alison is that if we are living in the belief that love is something you went in search of giving and receiving, which by the way was how i understood life to be, then we are signing ourselves up to a life of ups and downs, of moments of elation, adventure and the happiness of distraction yet equally there are low moments, where we feel lonely, wobbled by low self esteem and frustrated with our lives – what Serge Benhayon presents about choosing love for yourself is what creates the anchor that then leads to a steadier and infinitely more enriching way to be, rid of the neediness and dependency that bounces us from one moment to the next.
Excellent blog! Living in the constant need for attention, recognition or love does leave us feeling hurt and empty, riding the “good times” but the inevitably coming down on the “lows”. It’s a big momentum to break but if we see this as an illusion we cant search for love outside of ourselves and the many layers of seeking simply fall off, there is nothing to prove when you know you are love.
Our life is like living with a star, who hides and protects who they are, like a famous actor who has a costume to protect their identity. They walk around as a ‘man of mystery’ (perhaps with a false beard!) to avoid the paparazzi, yet do it so often, they have forgotten who they are. What if we took a moment and saw that we can stop this charade? and that it is actually safe to drop our guard? Then we would see as you beautifully say Alison, that we are glorious beyond belief and have all the power and the love already living underneath.
Brilliant blog Alan , fantastic really!! Its so cool and true to read this ; Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.
The first time I’ve seen it written out in a way that is understandable for all. Thank you so much. Love is a confirmation of who we are.
I love the concept of confirming and appreciating ourselves more for who we are so that the way of being and the expanding quality that this invites, leaves no space for negative self talk. To have this kind of relationship with ourselves first is a beautiful foundation to support and hold us in each step we take.
Looking for love outside our self will never support us to know love. I agree, we need to re-connect to the love we innately are, then we have no need for this love from another.
This sentence spoke to me this morning Alison – The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ This is so very true for me. I used to spend a lot of time focusing on what I didn’t do well. These days I have switched my focus to being appreciative and it has changed the relationship I have with myself. For the first in a long time I feel I am in my own corner, supporting me. One result is I am less needy of others since I am giving myself the love, acceptance and tenderness I used to crave.
We are definitely the one, the one that is from love, that when we choose to heal, what we have put in front of it can’t express anything other than love.
Thankyou Alison, this is so masterfully written 🙂 It can be quite a surprise to realise the love we long for and have been looking for was right inside us all along. Our separation to ourselves has been so complete that we have all lost touch with the fact that our essence is actually love. What an amazing wake up call we have received from Serge Benhayon, alongside the tools to live this love everyday.
Before coming to the teachings I always believed I was not worthy of love, this is what I put out and this is what I got back. What I have learnt over the years is that it is not something to wait for it to come from the outside but an expression from within that I need to allow to be emanated out and this then is confirmed back in the quality of relationships I hold with others.
Conditional love was really what I called love for most of my life. Meaning it really was full of neediness, expectations and wanting others to fill up an emptiness that was so deep within me that it would have taken the contents of the pacific ocean to fill up and then some. But it was only when I began to fill up myself, build a relationship with me that was meaningful and full of love, that I was able to change and feel the true meaning of love.
Accepting and appreciating ourselves for who we truly are, rather than focusing on the mess-ups – who we are not – turns the whole world on its head. If appreciation and loving ourselves was taught in schools and homes, life would be so different for so many.
Being Love and appreciate oneself for the love we are and bring to the world everywhere were we are is living life in full. Sounds simple and in truth it is and is available to everyone of us equally if we choose so.
How different true love, as taught and lived by Serge Benhayon is, compared to the age old romantic, but outside of us, love we have been fed in books and movies! True Love has so much more depth and honesty, that we first need to share with ourselves by reconnecting with our inner knowing.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else”.The choice is as simple, and at times difficult, as that. The key for me is if I make a ‘what is not’ choice (and inevitably at times I do) that I do not stay stuck there, but lovingly and gently bring myself back to connection with my soul and inner wisdom.
Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” Yes absolutely Alison, we are all the One, there is no longer a need to search for love. The more I love and accept myself, the more love I have for everyone else, not out of need or recognition but from a growing love I can feel within me,
Thank you Alison, this makes so much sense of what love is, in a world that has bastardised the meaning of that word to such an extent there is little of real truth left in the use of the word. You are spot on, the one great love we are all seeking is with ourselves, to know our own love, which is everyone else’s love too… it is one love, and what lives within us and can be expressed through us is truly divine.
This blog makes it so simple, Alison. We spend so much of life focussing on the ‘what is not’, when all the while the ‘what is’ is there to be connected to, like looking all your life for a precious gem and then finding it in your back pocket. By choosing to feel the ‘what is’, we can no longer deny that we are precious, joyful and full of everlasting love.
What I love (!) is that words and their true meaning is finally being restored back to their true meaning thanks to Serge Benhayon.
True revelation, love is something we embody not something we go looking for
‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?’ Absolutely, I agree, I am starting to claim that I am love, that is who I am, whilst this is innate, I accept that I am still learning, and remembering, to live this in full.
What if we take our awesomeness and share it with another person, rather than take to them an empty being that is desperately seeking fulfilment… surely it’s a much more respectful and beautiful way to initiate a relationship.
There is and can be no one. If a religious tenet is to be true, then it should apply to all equally – why else would we all be here? It makes no sense that there is one chosen person, one chosen people or race, etc. for when you break us all down biologically and even genetically we are all ultimately the same. In fact, science shows that the differences we see on the outside are actually due to only a small handful of different genes. The point is, if you want to look at religion, it should make sense to the science presented before us and vice versa. Similarly, when you look at life philosophically, and ponder on the common rights of humanity, it should equally make sense to religion. Thus, if one was to really ponder on the existence of God, it does not makes sense by virtue of the nature of our existence, that he would only consider one human being to be his son. This teaching simply does not make sense. However, if you were to say that were there a God, he should treat all human beings as his equal sons, then that at least starts to make sense with our biological makeup.
There is such a consciousness out there in humanity that we are one day going to be saved. That God is our saviour, he will in some way save us from all that is going on here on earth. But that is the biggest illusion that we can live by, and myth that one day will be busted. For us to deeply claim within each of us, the amazingness that we are all and each of us ‘the one’.
Holding ourselves in protection and the hardness that comes with it is a recipe for disappointment if not resentment in any relationship; as you rightly point out, the way through is to build love from within out and not wait for it to come to us.
To Love ourselves is key. To seek Love from others is inevitably going to fail or dry up at some point, shatter this image or that for we are investing in something false, fleeting and unsustainable.
True Love beholds another and needs nothing from them and True Love fills us with the purity and livingness of God.
I can see how being dependent on love coming from outside me kept me in a constant state of anxiety, swinging from caring to trying not to care, from feeling good about myself to feeling devastated and trying to pick up the pieces, and being judgmental if someone appeared to not love me so that I could see how flawed they were, and no wonder; what a merry-go-round to live on and so completely exhausting. There is so much power in discovering true love and knowing that we come from love and it is our essence. Not the emotional roller coaster that we think is love, but the solid foundation of knowing who we truly are.
This is what true love is about, no seeking but living deeply the quality that is love for ourselves first, in living this we show all that we are.
It is about taking the responsibility for ourself, seeing that we are the only ones who can live the love that we are, no one else can do this for us.
The problem with love is that we are all too familiar with conditional choices thinking that this style of making decisions lead us to un-conditional ones. Love confronts us right there. Love is or it is not. There is no middle ground here.
Love is not like a dam that only requires you to open it. It is an energy we build in the body and we begin getting familiar with it by making self caring and self loving choices.
What we deeply know is love is not what we call love.
When we get to relationships there is no THE ONE. All that there is, is THE ONE that will reflect you and offer you something particular that you may need in this incarnation in order to evolve. That does not make it THE ONE. There is no THE ONE.
Stating that we (meaning all) could be the one sounds like a contradiction in its own terms. Yet, it is not when we accept that being the one means that we are all the same and belong together.
Serge Benhayon was also the first person to introduce to me that it is possible to love yourself, in a way that is natural. It made sense as nothing else ever let me consider the possibility. Discovering this love for myself has led to a great unfolding of living love in life.
It is absurd really to consider that we focus on the tiniest of occurrences and can blow this well out of proportion, give it undue energy and use it to identify us, judge ourselves or for the drama it provides when all the while we are held in a sphere of Love and we need only surrender and choose Love and what is false falls away.
Well put – we are ‘the One’ and it is true that no matter what is happening in life, we have a choice to Love and appreciate ourselves and honour what we are feeling or to disconnect from Love and to be left in the emptiness of our so choosing.
I Love this blog – a great reminder to Love ourselves and to Love ourselves some more.
What I am finding at the moment is that when we allow the what is not us to run our lives for so long we can believe that that falseness is who we are, we take it up as our truth. But the more I keep connecting to the love that I am and understanding how that love choses to be in life I can stand in the mirror with no one around and ask myself why do I feel uncomfortable showing off my love to myself? When who I truly am does not hold back nor reserve this love for special occasions, it can’t help but express and shine. How we move and the way we are in life is a big give away as to who is running our life, the what is or the what is not the love that we are. This I feel is something that we need to foster in society once more, that ability to watch and read our own and the movements of others because the more I practice this with myself there is more understanding of certain behaviours and if they are not coming from my true self then it is taken far less personal.
Far too much of our life is spent focusing on what we perceive to be wrong with us. If we do dare to appreciate ourselves then people tend to consider it a weird sort of thing to do. The more people who learn to appreciate themselves and each other the more we will see how natural it is to appreciate. Appreciation is a major key to having healthy relationships as well.
What a beautiful piece of writing Alison. Very poignant and one I certainly can relate to. The real ding ding moment was in reading:
‘Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.”
This is so true. In all those moments where someone says something that I don’t agree with and I feel crushed I have been realising (through the work of Serge Benhayon) that yes there are hurts there as I expect another to like or agree with me in that instance but my choice now is more often to feel the hurt, express what I feel, be honest with myself and keep living the truth of who I am.
We are indeed the one… And every relationship that we have in our whole life depends on our understanding that this is the primary spark, the igniting point for any true relationship, and that is the foundation that we have with ourselves.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” It really is that simple, we have made it an art form focusing on the what is not love instead of what ‘is’ love.
What a great understanding to come to Alison, ‘that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’
Appreciating and confirming ourselves helps to deepen our innate love within, and helps stop us searching outside, ‘When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.’
It is great to re read your sharing Alison and realise there is much more depth here than the first read. We are fed such untruths about love in songs, movies and novels etc. that no wonder we have such a shallow way of looking at it. To love ourselves first makes so much sense, for how could anyone fulfil our needs and expectations on any level who does not first know themselves as their one true love. Therefore we don’t put the pressure on each other to do the impossible. Knowing that there is not one special person but rather the whole of humanity that love encompasses .
As a simple observation, when I feel love for myself and accept that love comes from within, not outwith, it is then that I most want to share company and share who I am with everyone else. So love that we accept we are made of is something too big to keep to ourselves, in fact it can’t only be shared with one other person, it is made for everyone.
What a dramatic change in life it has been to know – love is not something I search the world for looking for that perfect partner. Instead love is who I am. There may be times I forget that, but it is without a doubt my true north, and no matter how far I stray, I am always brought back to that love, for it was always in me, just waiting for me to connect to it.
Re-reading this great blog this stood out for me, “The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” Becoming aware of this choice through the presentations of Universal Medicine and choosing the former my life has changed dramatically. I used to live my life constantly looking out for what was wrong in my life – not loving – and endeavouring to ‘fix’ it. Consequently the result was that there was always more that was not love. Now, instead, with focusing appreciating my life – the love – thee is ever increasing more love and less to ‘fix’. How good is that?
It seems like everything in life is set up to distract us or take us from finding what true love actually is. Has there ever been a movie made about true love radiating from within each and every one of us equally, or are they all like Hollywood emotional versions of the same word? I certainly had no idea
of the fact that I am love and the only way to find that love and love for all was through self love. Even that, someone that loved themselves was instilled in me to be a bad thing like they were up themselves. It is such a gift to have truth is my life thanks to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom.
We are the One. United we are one.
In life we put a LOT of focus on other people, we want others to be the one to save us, to pick us up when we’re down, sweep us off our feet, to ease our troubles, or even just be ‘the one’ we’re looking for. I love your message here – let’s take it back to us and take full responsibility for ourselves – the rewards from taking responsibility are so much more richer and fulfilling.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”- such an important point you make. True healing occurs when we start to appreciate who we are – our essence within – and value the qualities that make us unique. When we focus on the hurts we just add to it by reinforcing that it is who we are which is not true, for we come from love.
I have heard that saying so many times, that love hurts. And even felt/thought I had been hurt by love in the past. The truth is Love cannot hurt … for it is Love! But the lack of the relationship we have with ourselves, the lack of self-acceptance, self-worth, the lack of self-love; all of this leaves gaps that allows us to feel hurt. If we love ourselves to the max there will be no room/gap for hurts and this love will also overflow into all of our relationships.
The emotional roller coaster, which we all have called love, is exactly what I felt about love my whole life. So this was normal and I would continually ask the question what is love and what most of us present as love is ‘that’ true love? In just about every avenue of life, emotional love is what is commonly referred to as love, but no one could ever give a valid explanation about love. Then the works of Serge Benhayon presented the energetic truth in words concept and this has delivered the real meaning of love for thousands of students. For more on love go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/whats-on-in-the-world/when-you-say-i-love-you-does-it-come-with-love.html
‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life’. Spot on Alison, and beautifully expressed. When I am loving myself, there are no expectations of others or any investments, because in loving myself I Know I am enough and that I have all the answers/support inside me.
Thank you Alison for this wonderful blog. Love can never hurt, not true love.
Absolutely Simon, what hurts us is not being ‘love’, but we have to reach a point of ‘true love’ to get this understanding! Emotional love always find a way to argue this point about ‘true love’ and therefore exposing itself as not being any sort of love!
Alison, I love the thought that I am my own all encompassing and beholding love, it takes out all the search for love on the outside, because it is there right inside me, I am it already, and all I have to do is just let go the layers of protection and allow myself to feel it. Could this be the true meaning of surrender? To surrender to ourselves by accepting, appreciating, trusting and letting people in through connection. After all, is this not what everyone wants, because truly we are One.
When we can begin to accept that we are already all that we need to be, we can begin to live from that place of knowing. And if we focus on this, the ‘what is’, rather than the ‘what is not’ we begin to appreciate who we are and what we bring to the world. A very different picture than if it is the other way round.
I love this, Alison. When we start to allow ourselves to feel the ‘what is’ and no longer focus on the ‘what is not’, the love we have been searching for all our lives emerges from within us. To connect to this, in my experience, is the greatest joy of all. My experience of it is a bit like finding a precious jewel in my back pocket that had been there all the time.
I’ve done a lot of this over the years with friends and family – “This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.” if they did something that I did not like. I would start off feeling the connection, and then they would do something that was like a red flag for me, as in something I judged, and then they were out and I would withdraw ‘love’… or so I thought it was. But I now see it always came with conditions… and those conditions started with how I would or would not love myself in relation to things that I chose or saw myself. So all relationships were tarnished with that from the start. Serge Benhayon has definitely raised the bar on what love truly is and what being in and having relationships are all about.
Great point to raise Alison , – ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ To be, and live love feels very different to the need that I used to misinterpret as love.
Understanding that “love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” Is so different from the romantic notion of love. No wonder so may marriages do not work, we rely so heavily on one person to give us everything in a way that is exactly how we need it – this very notion is flawed because love is meant to come from us, from within and be shared with others.
Our definition of Love in society and how we go about obtaining it – is a wonky proposition at best.
We seldom stop and explore the basis for our emptiness that prompts our seeking in the first place – perhaps if we did we would connect – and discover all we are missing in the first place.
A great reminder that by appreciating and honouring our true quality, we will not fall for the many fillers on offer that will never complete us or return us to the Love we are missing being in the first place.
I agree that often we seek everything outside of us as a distraction from the amazingness we already are but perhaps have held back nor lived in every moment.
Love begins and ends with us, knowing that love can never be something we look for in another but simply it is a natural quality that lives within us all equally. When we love, confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are it is natural that we come to the conclusion that we are the one we have always been looking for.
There is a lot of focus on security and struggle in the world, but rarely a focus on love – to our detriment.
I know the needy way of relating all too well, and can feel the falseness of love that is. It is in listening to our body, and feel the love from within that we can build. And we are indeed the one we believed we were searching for.
You bring through such an important point in this blog: that we must ask ourselves “what is truly love?” and get honest about what is not. It can be shocking and even a bit painful, but answering that question for ourselves without reservation is one of the most freeing things we can do. It begins to remove the ideas and ideals we may be holding about what we think love is and should be, and creates a space for true love to be felt from within.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” This search sets us up on a merry go round of neediness from the outside world to confirm something that we simply are already. It is reinforced by the way that we are shown love appearing in stories and tales. It shows up in the saying we have about love, that say that love is something that you need to fight for, bleed for, and get hurt by. But the truth in love is that it is so simple. It is just us.
Could we beThe One? Could we love ourselves enough to accept that we could be the one? I know prior to Serge Benhayon’s presentations this was not a concept that I had ever considered yet it is the most natural thing to do…self love. Self love offers an opportunity to see all the areas in our lives that are not loving so that we can learn what is a truly loving way to be.
Great sharing Alison and what really jumped out at me was on where we can put the focus, on the ‘what is’ instead of making it about the ‘what is not’. This I have been putting into practice also and it has a huge impact on the quality you have with yourself. This Self-Love that I introduced after attending one of Serge Benhayon’s presentations has absolutely been the stepping stone of realising and feeling that we are indeed Love and it is this quality within that is true and not the conditioned love we have been lead to believe it true.
“Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.” Yes for me that’s what I be,over from a young age and that was my experience and nothing in life had proven otherwise. So I was always in protection not able to trust anyone or any relationship.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” This is true for me too, prior to this I was caught in that love is what you give to others and get back from others, I had no understanding of energy and how we embody it and that it starts with loving the self first.
The irony is we spend lifetimes searching for love when in fact it is there inside of us all bursting to come out, if only we allow it. Thank you, Serge Benhayon, for showing us the way home to love
We use trust or lack of it as an excuse to love or not love someone else. When we focus on building our own inner trust, learning to be loving and tender with ourselves, make choices that nurture our wellbeing and health, then we discover that loving other people is not a matter of trust but one of support, acceptance, appreciation. Loving other people then becomes a natural extension of how we love ourselves, a consistently trustworthy flow of steadiness that forms a living foundation to life.
It is funny really how we search so high and so low, only to see that in the end we are ‘the one’ as you say Alison. We are all ‘the one’ and from ‘the one’ – in truth we are ‘one’. The oneness we had in mind on our search is more like a fraction of the true oneness we know. What a joke that has been played on us to even consider ourselves as individuals and self-sufficient in any way. This is so far from the case. From one one to another part of the one – thank you Alison.
With absolutely appreciation for Serge Benhayon, as you have expressed Alison, for grounding the true and ever present nature of Love on earth. I have not heard of another human being presenting the wisdom that Serge does and my whole life has been transformed from acknowledging and living the truth of what these presentations offer. And the fun thing is, there is no end point! I am not cured or 100% healed but continuing to learn from life and the reflections constantly on offer.
Alison, you’ve summed up our screwed up view of what love is beautifully, in saying that;
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’
This completely takes out the need factor from relationships, once we realise there is no deal or wager for giving and taking love or a tally of fairness where we have given too much and so we stop and wait for the other to give a little. We have a choice and it is down to our responsibility to be that fullness within ourselves and share that with another with no strings attached. Meaning, no conditions on what we share and that we don’ expect anything in return.
Thank you Alison I relate well to your blog. I too saw love as a giving and receiving, coming from need, rejection and covered it up by holding people at arms length. With a love that comes from within steadily growing need and rejection can be released and this love taken to everyone.
I love this, Alison. The greatest love affair can be had with ourselves when we finally choose to connect to our essence rather than allowing our so-called hurts to influence and dominate our thoughts. What we subscribe to in terms of ideals and beliefs about ourselves can create an unrealistic set of pictures that we can never live up to, so finally ditching those frees us to be ourselves, which is simply divine.
Same for me Alison, it was an automatic habit that I searched for love ‘ out there, which needless to say was a hopeless and thankless task always leaving my very needy and insecure. Plus the belief I took on was that I was clueless when it came to relationships…Thankfully I learned that the most important relationship is the one I have with myself, and the more I appreciate and adore myself, the more I accept the love I am and was born.
“This was how I lived in my relationships: I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.” I can completely resonate with this, I would constantly wait for hurt or disconnection in my relationships. Leaving me very much in hardness and protection mode.
“Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.”
This is a life changing teaching because so many of us are on that same roller coaster, forever searching for love outside of ourselves, needing someone to fill up our own emptiness that all we need to do is to start to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the one.
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.” That truth should be known by every psychologist – it would change everything they do.
I slowly start to understand the power of appreciation of myself and in that als the appreciation of one another and in that for everything that we are instead of where I used to come from, from pointing on the things I am not and where we are not going so well, like identifying myself and humanity with that. It is so different when I consider myself and with that all my fellow brothers as divine beings, finding their way back to that way of living we belong to or that I only identify myself and all of humanity on the things we are not and doing not so well.
There is no relationship that can ever fulfil us if we are not bringing our fullness to it
The most important relationship we have is the one with the person we see in the mirror. All other relationships come from that which we first establish with ourselves.
I often look in the mirror and say to myself wow you are so gorgeous and I get to be with you all the time every day, 24/7 – I must be the luckiest woman alive and then on top of that I have my super gorgeous husband and all my amazing friends and colleagues… but wait there is more, laughs the kookaburras and yes you are certainly a hard worker says the bee as it buzzes by…. we are love and are surrounded by love which is always there… it is just that we are sometimes not there!
Gorgeous sharing Nicola, with your last line standing out: ‘ we are love and are surrounded by love which is always there… it is just that we are sometimes not there’. So true, as I lived most of my life checked out.
It is the most delicious, delightful and joyful feeling knowing what love truly is “an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” With absolute appreciation to Serge Benhayon for presenting and living this for all to understand what true love is.
I used to think someone would come and love me at sometime in the way that made me very special and exclusive. But there was a deserving and being worthy of this love and a working at it all for it to happen.
It is life’s greatest gift to understand how simple love is and it is equal in us all and we choose to honour the love we are – no waiting or wanting just appreciating, loving and being us.
You say: “As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” – the really strange thing is that love is, as you share, who we all already are – therefore if we are not being that, and expressing the love that we already are, then we are choosing NOT to be love. So in truth we are constantly rejecting love and choosing not to be love. The minute we stop that we are by default love!
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else’, that’s a stand out line Alison and one that really makes me realise how the world is so focused on the ‘what is not’ even when we think we’re focused on the ‘what is’.
The question has to be asked how we have managed to get so far from the true meaning of the word love. I mean the way that most people use it, isn’t even close to its true meaning. If we were to understand and use the word love as it was intended then it would naturally harmonise life.
Alison it’s a joy to read this as I’ve recently allowed myself to admit how little I was prepared to be in a relationship with myself. I was still looking outside of myself for the love I desperately wanted rather than focus on the love that I am, the understanding and acceptance and celebration of myself.
Gorgeous Alison. I loved the end paragraph. Realising we are all love, and from there, living that. Super gorgeous. “Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” When this happens, what more could you want as you are already full. sharing love with another then becomes something so gorgeous.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” I love this – thank you as it is the Love that forever holds us even in the ‘what is not’.
Understanding the truth of love means we would never have a condition put upon another, nor could we ever be hurt. If we could learn to hold ourselves in that infinite love we are already held in, we then learn we can hold that for all others equally.
I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room recently and the old tune ‘When I fall in love’ was playing. It was a favourite song of mine as a teenager, but I was shocked when I listened to the words and the message it carries – it’s saying that I won’t allow myself to fall in love with you until you show me that love first, which is exactly what many (most) of us do in a ‘you first’ approach. Pretty crazy when, as this blog eloquently presents, love starts with ourselves. If I love myself then I have the foundation that allows me to love everyone, not only the person that I choose to be my partner.
Love, for humanity becomes a complete and equal sharing with others, which brings a true purpose that serves all equally.
Wow we sure do choose to complicate life don’t we? Our quest to find love out there is relentless, we are willing to spend any amount of money to search the world, buy clothes, lotions and potions to beautify ourselves in an attempt to find Mr/Mrs right. We will do anything really except take responsibility and look within at the hurts we hold on to buried under the pictures we have of how love and life should be. When in reality it is simple, stop, reconnect with our essence and let go of our hurts and choose to be love. My experience has been that the deeper my love is for myself I am more able to express true love and accept truly loving relationships in my life.
In the same way we can sometimes disconnect to a conversation we are having – like loosing a moment of what was communicated and then having to fill in the gaps, hoping not to have missed the overall message – in the same way we also disconnect to ourselves partially. The sad thing is, we not only miss out on what was communicated, we also miss on what was communicating.
‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’ Yes, yes, yes! I am THE one for me, and the more I let go of all ideals and believes the more I discover it is a joy to be me and it is a joy to be with me and it is a joy to be with others with me. I just love how being love is spreading out to all.
So much of our lives wants to make this choice more complicated and more intricate and protracted than it needs to be. To learn to choose love and then interact with life, which then resolves the issues that we are taught we have to resolve before we can choose love.
Great point to ponder upon Alison – “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” It puts a different spin on any relationship we might enter into and it asks us to really reflect on our relationship with our selves, awesome, thank you,
I certainly know that my desperate search for Mr Right kept me away from building the one foundation that could sustain loving, supportive and responsible relationships. I wanted to be rescued from myself which looking back on it was such a futile endeavour since I went everywhere with me!
Knowing that the quality of my every interaction starts with the quality with which I treat myself has been life changing.
A whole world dedicated to love being something we get from another, and not just any other but someone quite specific like a “soul mate” or the “love of my life” – that special “one”. They may be on the other side of the world and you just hope you find them! There are decades of music, movies, and novels etc exploring this concept, all dedicated to love being outside ourselves when the very “one” we have been so desperately looking for is the one in the mirror!
Love love love this. I am the one for me. You are the one for you. We are the ones for each other. Love it.
What a beautiful blog Alison. When I read what you express I feel warmth in my chest and connect to the possibility that I am already with the love of my life. Thank you.
Living in constant appreciation of who we are and the choices that we make creates more space in our bodies for the love that we are until it becomes a normal way of being.
The Livingness is everything!
The world has been set up to believe that love is outside ourselves but this is the illusion we must break out from as true love is within us all equally and all that is required is to connect to it within our bodies, appreciate it and accept it that we are all the sons of God.
Our relationship with love has to be with self first. A child who has never been shown an once of love feels the enormity of the smallest gesture of love. We all come from love and miss love. It is our ‘not being love’ that causes all the pain in our lives. Immense gratitude for Serge Benhayon for the re-discovery that I come from love and love is what I was missing. Self-love is the only place to start our journey back to love, which is not selfish but the start of our journey home!
Self love offers a forever deepening foundation of developing the relationship with ourself, and as you shared Alison, “… feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life…”
I use to believe that love was the amount of attention or recognition I would be receiving from others when in fact it is our natural way to be. Thanks to Serge Benhayon for presenting the true way of love that we all have inside us.
I have grown up fighting loving myself, floating around in life, basically avoiding responsibility. Looking for a partner to fill my needs, hoping they would have a house I could live with them in, instead of anchoring myself. It makes me think of the stories we are read as little girls of knights on white horses coming to rescue princesses, that go on into adult years, there’s lots of well known movies and TV shows that still play out these roles. We laugh it of as being sweet and innocent, no big deal, but the more you look at what’s behind it, it’s actually evil, it takes us away from our truth and our Soul.
One thing I have learnt and am learning is not to go on a mission to love myself, as it becomes driven, mechanical and hard, the choices come from ideals and thoughts in my head, rather than the tenderness, innate wisdom and love in my body and God.
Love this, Gyl. Whilst we ‘go on a mission’ in search of love we overlook what is right there at the ends of our noses and in the moments that we do glimpse it, we dismiss it for being too simple because that would undermine all the time we have invested in the ‘mission’. This is convoluted madness that only we can break the cycle of.
It really is simple, choosing love or not. The question is why do we complicate it so much? And why do we find it difficult to love ourselves so deeply, when it’s the one thing we all crave for and adore.
Dear Alison, thank you for writing this blog, I can very much relate to what you share, I have not been choosing to love myself, and give my power away, and those choices are reflected around me. The thing is it is our responsibility, life’s not just going to change, unless we make the choices to deepen and choose love and care everyday. Stepping back, and looking at the world, so many of us are discontent with life, how we feel, our everyday, but we are not making the choices we can easily make to change this, instead we look to someone or something else to take this away, or give up on ourselves and humanity and just accept this as our reality, or really, comfortably accept this is how life is; as it means we would have to change, feel all the loveless choices we have made, feel the truth of the amount of abuse and lack of love that’s out there, but at the same time take responsibility for our love and grandness.
Thank you Alison for the deep yet simple wisdom that you share here!
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love…” This is huge Alison, that we are already love. It takes a while to really sink in and then it got me to thinking that, if we are already love what are we putting in the way so that we are not being the love that we are? Not only what are we putting in the way but why are we putting up these roadblocks to the love that we are? Are we too grand even for our own selves to feel and hence we try to dull this? So many questions from this beautiful blog, thank you.
Another gem from your article is this ‘When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.’ – how absolutely true this is – like attracts like and if we choose to live from a quality of love we inevitably create more love. Simple!
‘Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.’ – what a great realisation and way to live, one that puts the responsibility back on self not another to be the love we are and not seek a conditional love to try and complete us. We are love already.
‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’ As I was reading your blog I could really feel how searching for ‘The One’ to love us and cherish us is such a massive abdication of our responsibility to ourselves. We spend every moment with ourselves, it makes sense that we build that relationship to be one of true love, you would never have a super intimate relationship with someone you don’t like, so why accept that with yourself?
I understand this need for trust before letting love in. For myself it came from experiences where hurt and betrayal were devastating to my core. And so I learnt to put up a shield of protection, thinking that no one could hurt me anymore – unless they worked really hard to prove that they could be trusted. What I have come to understand now, with the great help of Universal Medicine, is how this shield hurts me more than anyone else could, because it stops love from coming in or from going out. It is a self made prison. And, what’s more, is that this need for trust is actually a need for perfection, which no one can achieve and is unrealistic to impose on to another. So, now I am learning how to see the truth again and to let love in.
And when we have started to build this relationship with ourselves, from acceptance, to appreciation and love, we have an amazing foundation upon which all our other relationships are built. It is super refreshing not to be be caught in the game play of needing something from others.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” Absolutely, Alison, that is key to living the fullness of the life that is possible for all of us. In our innermost we are love, amazing enormous love, and it is up to us to choose to live that love, or not, we have free will, it is up to us, we are the only ones who can choose whether we are going to accept and appreciate this, and live it fully. We are THE ONE.
Much of the world is geared up to ‘looking for love’ outside of ourselves or searching for it, when all the while it is within. We can make it very complicated, but with a little self-love and nurturing we begin to tap into what has always been there and a relationship that will last a lifetime.
In loving ourselves in full, it releases us from the imagery that it is greater to be loved by another; and so we are freed from expectation and need in the way we relate, and can then actually be love for another.
It’s true Alison. There is so much that we can focus on in the attempt to distract ourselves from the inevitable responsibility of being the one.
Agreed, there is much that we give our attention to that moves us away from our foundational relationship with ourselves – the relationship that supports and informs all our others – why is that?
Hello Alison and I agree, “As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” This is how I thought things were and from all I saw I continued to try and make ‘love’ work. It wasn’t until I was introduced to the fact you can’t ‘be something you’re not’, in other words if don’t love yourself deeply how can you love another in the same way. It made and makes perfect sense and you can relate this to many things. Bring ‘it’ to yourself and then it is there in your every step and so Alison as you say love is something to appreciate and feel in yourself and then as we are saying your every step and touch is filled with this from there on.
Alison, I love this article, what you share here feels like true love, conditional love is so very different and we are always reliant on somebody else for this type of love, loving ourselves is the natural way, just as we did when were babies and young children.
For most of my life I thought that loving another was in the doing and no matter how hard I tried to gain this love from another it was never enough. Knowing I am love and that I am enough I am finding that there is no need to search or seek love, for every thing lies within and I feel content. It is a process of eliminating that which is not love, letting go of any areas of comfort I am living in and saying ‘Yes’ to taking responsibility for all the choices I make.
Another really important point you raise here is the perception that “love” is reserved for a few, it is something we have for our family or partner but not anyone else. It’s as if love is not allowed, but one thing I have come to understand since being involved in Universal Medicine is how love is actually only possible with one if it is with all others, so in simple terms we can’t truly love our family if we are not equally loving with ourselves and all others. This transformed everything about how I approach love, opens up the ability to connect with others and allow that feeling of love, that is naturally there to be there.
It is a common thread for most of humanity, that we have understood love to be something that we seek from another outside of ourselves, to confirm who we are. To ‘love yourself’ as I always understood it , and I suspect for many others, was to be big headed and full of your own self importance. But how wrong I was, and it is with enormous thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I now have a very different understanding of what this means. To love yourself in truth simply means you are love, and there is no doubt as to the connection you have to the divine. When you know and live this from inside, there is love present in every moment, whoever you are with.
We are often waiting for a hero or a messiah or a guru for prince charming, Merlin – many folktales and bible stories hold one above all others – but to me it misses the point, yes absolutely there is energy and some are more developed in the ways of understanding energy but no one person has all the answers. There is no special one there is only all of us. Each of us has something unique and special to offer each other and humanity.
Prior to meeting Serge Benhayon my experience of love had been one of a roller-coaster of emotions and broken relationships. Now with the greatest gratitude to Serge Benhayon presenting that love is an energy that I can choose and my life is now one of an ever deepening consistency of loving relationships.
I have to agree with you Alison, that we are the one, the one that holds the love we equally hold in our inner heart. When we consider this to be the truth life would be never the same as from that moment as we connect to the source of energy that takes care for us and makes us aware of the divine beings we are.
If we consider that a Son of God is pure love in all that they are and all that they do and that love is holding of us all equally, how cannot we not all be but His equal Sons because that means we too must be from that same love. Is it possible then that we do not choose to be love and embody its potential and that, that is what defines a fully realised Son of God (like Jesus) from someone who is yet to awaken that same connection within themselves?
It feels so simple to know that I am the love that I have been searching for , for so long and it is only through loving and appreciating me that I can then be this for others too.
To know true love is life changing and a journey back to oneself, it challenges everything we were made to believe love to be, it brings us back to our own doorstep where no search is required anymore.
There is no division when it comes to Love – no special few or chosen ones. We are each of Love and we may each return to its living wisdom when we choose Love for ourselves and live the Love we naturally are.
To deeply know ourselves and to live the love we are allows no opening for emotional arrangements we seek in Love’s place.
Self- Love is the basis of any relationship. The more we love, honour and appreciate ourselves, the more we will appreciate and confirm this in all others.
It is true that no matter how far and wide we seek outside of ourselves for Love – we will never obtain it,
for Love is a living way and a quality we must first choose for ourselves.
It is possibly one of the biggest lies on earth that we could give or receive love. What have we allowed, whilst we are and have always been love, as the way forth?
Very easy blog to read and one that makes a lot of sense. Chasing love from outside of ourselves and expecting others to love us more than we love ourselves is a recipe for misery, and a rollercoaster of emotional turmoil. Having listened to Serge Benhayon for some years now I have seen for myself how important it is to know yourself and love yourself first before entering into a relationship, otherwise our relationships will start out from a place of need with a lot of expectations from the other person.
Reading this I wondered what life would be like if before we went into relationships we needed to pass a love test… not a love test for the other person, but a love test of ourselves. There is a responsibility in loving ourselves first and then expressing that love to our partners, friends, family and anyone we meet equally.
“Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.” How true, Alison and how freeing it is when we come to accept that we and only we can truly love ourselves. It is our own responsibility to ourselves to connect to our own innermost and feel the great love that we naturally are, then bring this love out and live it, for all to see and share. No more expecting someone else to be the One, to love and support me, I am the only One for the job.
“is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me”….this is one of the best-est things in the world to know. It has revolutionised my life as I used to outsource the job of loving me and handed it over to friends, family, partners and through listening to the presentations of Universal Medicine, I have (mostly) taken back the reins, and realise I am the woman for the job! No-one else. It is up to me.
It’s been quite a turn-around to realise I am already 100% amazing – I just piled up a lot of debris to hide this fact. Living life already arrived is so different to striving to be better. I feel striving is like climbing Mount Everest, exhausting and damaging to one’s health – and you don’t have a clue who you are. Whereas knowing you are already complete is beautiful. There’s constant work to be done to discard what’s not love but this doesn’t come from a drive but a completeness, a stillness that’s always there.
‘Take away that trust and the love would seemingly dry up.’ Wow, this described me perfectly. I put people through such tests to see if they were trust worthy. But what’s a miracle is I am now feeling we live in a body of love and I can be love 24/7 if I choose to say yes to love in every movement. I can be love no matter what’s presented. Love is no longer a scarce commodity afforded to me by years of relationship with someone having to prove their trustworthiness. Love is endless and forever expanding.
It’s interesting isn’t it – when you look in the mirror you are always going to be there staring back. If you get that relationship with yourself right, what a foundation for everyone and everything else.
It’s been life changing having Serge Benhayon deliver the true meaning or definition of what true love is.
I didn’t really fully grasp this concept until I attended Universal Medicine presentations. I had been so indoctrinated with the romantic poisons of society, that that phrase ‘the ONE’ could only be related to finding the ONE in a partner. But I now know this to be totally different. That we are all THE ONE, yes true, I am the one who is going to take me to salvation, no there is not going to be anyone that comes and saves us. Yes we are all responsible for ourselves. This is not quite what humanity wants to hear or know, although having said that, there are many like myself and others who are very much aware, willing and wanting to know and claim we are indeed THE ONE!
I know in the past I have looked for someone to make me feel like the one, and now through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presentations I have realised that love comes from within me first, before I can truly love another. This has made a profound difference to all my relationships, because I am not reliant on another to bring me the love I already have.
I have noticed when I look at the titles of the blogs, I have avoided yours Alison and chosen to connect to another one. I can feel a little reaction when I read the title, no I won’t look at that one today and now realise that is something I need to address with myself. Could I be the ONE? I have also heard Serge present it and I know we are all love within, but there was a tiny percentage of me that still felt a little hesitancy, really? Me? Writing this is shifting that energy so I can claim YES, ME as is all of us full of love equally so. Thank you very much Alison.
I love the way you have expressed your realisation of how love is already there within Alison. I too appreciate deeply Serge Benhayon for revealing the truth that love is ‘an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’ This has changed my life!
“…where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” –
it is indeed remarkable how much we are used to focusing on the ‘what is not’, much of our lives revolves just around what we are not and trying to manage thereafter, thereby it is by choosing the ‘what is’ that the ‘what is not’ is exposed for being nothing but hot air.
“This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.” Alison I can feel how I have done this too and the absolute harm we do to ourselves when we hold back and go into protection. Love is there for all, we can’t reserve it for one special person.
I also laced conditional love with an insidious whisper that if I did all my jobs then it was something I deserved from others and spent many years waiting for it to be delivered. It is incredible to think of the vacuum I created there in the ‘waiting’. Working with Universal Medicine has supported me to shake off these shackles of passivity and rekindle the spark inside that has always known that love is innate and that it is our responsibility (and a joy) to fan and nourish it.
The false versions of love have been done to death in the media, films, songs, poetry, soap operas, real opera, and in our everyday relationships… but through Universal Medicine and the presentations by Serge Benhayon I am now learning and rediscovering for myself the truth of love – and nothing has felt so true, so real and so unimposing, so beholding, and absolutely consistently holding of us all – .. and reminiscent of something I once did know as a small child. A huge thank you to Serge for holding steady to the truth of love so that others can remember this once more for themselves.
Knowing that you can never truly lose love, only disconnect, drown it out, distract from, shun, walk away from it ourselves, doesn’t change its all encompassing presence one iota. Therefore it requires only a simple step from us to return once more.
‘When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do…. we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being’ – Absolutely Alison, and thus we begin to naturally make more considerate and caring choices, which offer us more opportunities to appreciate and enjoy the relationship we have with ourselves. This can become a very supportive cycle, where we make choices that we can appreciate and thus want to make more choices following that! It totally cuts through any ‘negative self-talk’ that we allow in.
You talk about “the belief that love hurts” and it seems so absurd now, after the many workshops with Universal Medicine and listening to Serge Benhayon – not that I really thought that love could hurt but I had never heard anybody talk about love in a way that made sense to me and put an end to all that searching and looking outside of me.
It seems so ironic that what we want most and often search for in others is actually within us all along.
It is interesting the connection you have made about trust and love. We equate being able to trust someone with whether they are loveable and as you say, if they disappoint us the love dries up like a puddle. It is ironic that I have put so much expectation on others to be steady, consistent and trust worthy and yet have been far from that with myself. If I asked myself if I had always ‘been there’ for myself it would be a definite ‘No’. I am feeling this is where we need to start rather than needing to have trust or love proven by anyone else.
As I read about your previous understanding of love being reserved for those ‘special few’ I could definitely relate to what you shared. I can remember a time when I was little when this would have been a strange concept. I can recall the feeling of loving everyone, being very sweet and open. This is what feels natural and it is easy to see in some children. However we are then taught that love needs to be directed to certain people; family, close friends, partners, kids and this is what love is. Love becomes an exchange program of giving and receiving, where we are filled up by others and in exchange we fill them up. Strange as it sounds, there was also a familiarity (not a naturalness) with this belief too, like I have subscribed to it and gotten some benefit from it before.
I sometimes wonder why we find it so hard to stop and take the time to really look inside to find the love that is already there within us. Why does it seem so much easier to believe it is in someone else? If we really want to commit to a loving relationship there is no one more available than we are! Perhaps this is part of the problem, that a loving relationship with ourselves is a full time commitment, not just special moments after work or on the weekends. I have found that building a loving relationship with myself is a process of building love and breaking down a lot of ideas around love that have stopped me from even considering that I am the ‘one’.
This blog was expressed in such a gentle and simple way. It made so much sense and would be a great explanation to anyone who is starting to realise that the cycle of chasing love outside themselves just doesn’t work. For most of us we are so caught in that game we can’t even think that there is something wrong with that way of being in ‘love’. If it’s not working it is because we haven’t tried hard enough, there is something innately wrong with us or we just haven’t found the one.
Love is the One thing that binds us all and yet its the One thing that can elude us if we seek it from outside of ourselves. Living in the hope that we can acquire love be it from another or from something we do takes us further away from the love we in-still already. Learning to love who we are first, sets a domino effect of light, love and joy in every movement we make and that has a spherical effect on all facets of our lives and relationships.
Joy and love are what I was always searching for and thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon I also now enjoy and understand why I was so lost. The Way of The Livingness brings more to my expression to share the joy, love and harmony I now live every day, and this is to the best of my ability because I can also get caught out with my movements. My movements have become a choice to reconnect to the divine in every thing I do!
Lovely blog, there is such power in recognising we are made of love and that it is not something we go out to get, instead we create connections with others and build loving relationships. Also, it is revelatory to me to see that love is something we must share with everyone if we are to avoid the pitfalls of creating false ideals of love as an emotional quality which I feel can occur when we make love all about finding the one.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” I would say Yes! Each time I look for it outside myself, demand it at times even from someone else and even if it is given to me, never it is doing what deeply loving and appreciating myself can do.
I don’t think any of us really knew what true love was until we came to the teaching of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon, I know I certainly didn’t. My experience has also been as I learnt to deepen my love and appreciate for myself my need for others to fill the emptiness within me disappeared as I filled myself with love.
Alison this following question I like very much: “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” I only can answer this question with YES as it is my own experience that this ingredients (full acceptance and appreciation) are the best to feel the love I am – hence with that there is no need anymore to look desperately outside for love.
Beautiful blog Alison on what is love. If we accept love that comes from outside of us then it is conditions we have placed on it to accept it. A great example of this was how Serge Benhayon loved me with words of wisdom that came from heaven and, I did not accept this from my body to start with, even though I wanted too. Some time down the track I eventually did. I did not accept his great love because I had not accepted mine.
We expect love from the world yet we don’t equally express it back. Is this not an crazy?!
I love the reminder that we are The Ones, to not hold back our love and share it with all openly…. no holding back the reflection … this world is really searching for a reflection that fills the emptiness that is being felt.
Love is our normal way of being. Often we carry hurts that get in the way of us actually feeling the innate love that we are and which is found inside of ourselves. As we deepen our self-love and connection we start to see that first of all we are this love and true love is found within and not outside of ourselves.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be” Yes, that was my belief for most of my life too. That was how we expected life to be, keep looking, and eventually I would find Mr. Right, the one who would fulfill all my dreams and expectations. What a crazy belief and search that is, when the truth is that we all have that love within ourselves. We just need to connect to our innermost, and there it is. I know I was astounded when I first experienced that. How beautifully we are supported in this, and how simple life can be when we truly connect with ourselves and express from this place. All the seeking we have been doing has really been fruitless, we may think we have found love when we meet someone, but how often have we been disappointed, felt let down when the one we think we had found as the special one does not come up to our expectations. The great love that we are ourselves is the true love, the key is to nurture the body that holds this amazing love with lots of self care and attention, this builds our body into the body of love it is meant to be. How beautiful it feels to be living in a body of love. This is then what we take out to meet the world.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE”. Absolutely, Alison, that feels right to me. It is a great practice to look at oneself in the mirror each day, to see in our eyes the great love that we truly are, yes, this is the pure, all-encompassing and behold love that you speak of. When we do that, we can see the truth of what Serge Benhayon has been presenting, WE ARE LOVE. How beautiful it feels then, when we come to really love ourselves for the beauty that we are and the beingness that we can be. We need to nurture this body which holds that love. That is what we need to work on, staying connected to this beautiful being that we are, through that we are connecting with the All, from the love we are, then that love expands to encompasss all of humanity. Once upon a time I was led to believe that loving myself was very selfish, but when we see the result of loving ourselves, we can see that is a lie, we cannot love another until we do truly love ourselves. One is a result of the other. What a beautiful way of living it is that Serge has presented.
I love the confirming and appreciating of ourselves you highlight Alison. This is great to read and feel the resonance of this truth in my body.. There is a world of difference living the truth of ‘we are the ones who initiate true love for ourselves from with-in’. When living this and honoring our selves then there is an openness to share our loving selves with everyone and then that is what is reflected back,
Understanding that there is no special one, there is just all of us and we have individually and collectively the power to destroy, as we can see evidenced in how we are living, or evolve into something much more loving.
If we all deeply felt and knew we were The One, and that we were all equally The One, we truly would be One true brotherhood.
It is so true to me Alison that only until we have build a level of love in ourselves we are also able to receive it for as long we are looking for love when we come from our hurts, we are looking for a ‘love’ that confirms our hurt but with that confirms something that we are not and true love will never being able to do that as it firstly has to nominate the hurt in the first place.
I loved the title of your blog Alison, “Could we be THE one?” my response was absolutely yes we’re it; we are the gorgeous, tender love we have been searching for. This may sound strange or even narcissistic, as we are told that we are to ‘love thy neighbour’, but if we don’t develop love within our own bodies and lives then where is the love we are going to love our neighbours with?
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?”
Absolutely Alison, all our external pursuits searching for love, connection and intimacy will always fail, as they are fed from a picture or images of what love is and that love is something we receive from another, the world is full of people living together in arrangements fulfilling each other needs, in this arrangement which is not love but that’s what we have settled for, as that’s what everyone else is doing so its considered normal, yet we have sold ourselves very short of the true love that’s available in our own hearts and bodies.
I find that my relationship with my partner is directly influenced from my relationship with myself; in fact it’s one and the same. As I build more deep self acceptance and appreciation for myself I start to feel that for my partner, as I am able to surrender in and with my body I am able to receive more love from her and surrender together. Without deep commitment and responsibility to love and care for oneself, its not possible to have true loving relationship with another, as we can only share love together we cannot get love from an external source.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”
This is a very powerful choice Alison, as the ancient saying goes:’ we can focus on the cup being half empty or half full’, by slowly bringing more appreciation and acceptance into our lives and building the self love and care we fill ourselves with more of this and there’s less space for the things that are not supportive or loving to our lives.
Your words Alison – “As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be” – yes true love itself , and its vast enormity, can only be really understood when you start choosing to be love yourself … which happened for me when i started to look at the type of love i thought was love, but was in fact not (those ideals), and more of a lived way of being that had the utmost care for oneself at the basis. No hearts, flowers, romantic dates, just deep self-care towards a pure love that exists without need or expectation. Love is something that resides within, and lived out every day.
“…love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” How beautiful Alison to realise that love is but a choice. What we have been missing all along is the simple choice to be the love that we seek. Being this love, rather than seeking it, we are then able to be love with ourselves and others around us. Love then becomes an emanation that can constantly expand rather than a moment in time.
Accepting ourselves as being love is something we could all benefit from as it strips away any guilt or shame around our unloving behaviours and sees them in the simplicity that they are not of our true nature.
As I sit here today and consider the life changing events that have taken place since meeting Serge Benhayon there is no doubt that understanding the fact that I am already love, that it is my choice to build on the foundation of love within myself has been one of the biggest revelations as it changes everything. The fact is it shows that my choices, and the way I live either support me to connect with that love or disconnect from it and into the turmoil that I thought was normal life. The stability of knowing and gradually living the fact I am the one, provides a true steadiness. This is medicine, this is what life is really about.
Love is who we are at essence and is not dependant on any other. It is also does not contain one ounce of emotion and is one of the most harmfully bastardised words we have. People use this word to talk about all sorts of emotions that are nothing to do with love and even say ridiculous things such as I beat you up because I love you, I love xyz food or drink (which harms the body) and so on and so forth. This corruption of our language causes enormous harm and separates us from our true selves.
How true this is that what we seek and miss is our connection with ourselves.
To ‘Love thyself’ could change everything for Humanity.
Even though when Serge Benhayon presents that love is something that we embody from within, first through self-love, and it sounds new and possibly like a grand adventure you are about to embark on, the really is that this is a very well known way to be with ourselves, it is ancient in fact and we are masters of both living with it and living against it.
not being loving of ourself is almost the norm I find in daily life, I feel the way I have lived is in canstant search for love. Having learned that it is something that is coming from outside of who I am. But knowing the truth again that we are the greatest love in our life is unfolding a beautiful path of evolution. And getting to know the true way we are supposed to be living.
‘Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.’ Beautifully expressed Alison and an awesome reminder that it is time to embrace we are all truly ‘the one’.
Having a relationship with ourselves is completely about having a relationship with the Love that is within, not just about how nice our skin is or how shiny our hair is looking. It is a beautiful divine relationship. Connecting to this provides a foundation to do what is needed to be done.
The idea that we will all eventually lose love, and that we are somehow then left without love is so very normal, and yet not at all true for anyone who has self-love. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine for offering that love is within, and helping anyone who is interested in such a way develop that for themselves.
The idea of love has become such a complicated affair, as you have captured here. The truth of love is that it is so very simple. It is who we are, it is what we are, simple as that. The moment we project it beyond ourselves is when the complication begins. This does not mean that we cannot or do not love another, but when we project it ‘out there’ we being to think that that is where it originates from. Bring it back to where love is felt: within ourselves, and the simplicity of love returns.
Alison thank you for this reminder that I am and everybody else is already Love, when we surrender to this truth our life and relationships flourish. When we deny and reject this truth everything becomes hard work as we create unnecessary issues to feed the lie.
We most certainly could be ‘The One, ‘could be The Love’ we are looking for, and we are. Great blog Alison.
What Serge Benhayon revealed for me is that love is something that I can connect to within myself and to be able to do that it simply needs caring for the body and establishing a rhythm in my life with my daily chores – something that can be developed by anyone. So we can build a body that is capable of expressing love (the love that we innately are) – and that is worth putting effort into.
‘Mr or Mrs Right’ is actually looking right back at us when we look in a mirror. The realisation of this comes from building acceptance and care for ourselves into our every days. From the attention we give to our daily physiological well being to the thoughts we choose to let run in our heads. The shift from self-dismissal to self-acceptance to self-appreciation to self-love is a process I definitely want to continue and deepen.
It has always been a puzzle to me why relationships start off with two people telling each other everything down to the smallest detail in complete trust and surrender and then end up as two people, sometimes behaving like virtual strangers or even adversaries, living side by side and never even considering that they could share intimate and deeply personal details with each other. Universal Medicine makes it very clear though that we need a foundation of self love and connection first and that no so-called love from the outside can ever fill the ache its absence leaves.
Considering the falsities we all live in, it’s quite extraordinary to hear the truth that Serge Benhayon presents. Our world seems to be sinking into more and more false ideals and beliefs about love, work, ourselves etc, so much so that we are collectively living disconnected from the truth. Your blog really highlights one of the many areas we have all been living in illusion with, and Serge highlights the profound and pervasive disconnection from truth that we as a one humanity are living from. Serge Benhayon is the only person I know standing up and presenting the truth.
Alison, I have come back to this blog for a re-read as it is such a relevant topic for us all to understand. Finding out that we are actually the love that we are searching for is such a big realisation to come to. The old patterns are so deeply entrenched it can take a lot of time and effort to let go of the old beliefs. What a sad situation for most of us have been raised in such a way that we find it hard to accept our glory. Yet once we start to open to the possibility that we have pure love in every single cell in our bodies it’s like we have entered Aladdin’s cave and there are brilliant gems to be discovered everywhere.
I’m even realising that NOT being loved isn’t True at all… There might be moments that people are angry or in any other emotion, something that I tried to avoid at all costs, but in fact this is only temporarily in most circumstances. Space and openness support a lot in re-establishing an open connection again.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care…” awesome statement Alison, this was the first time I had heard this too, and was a treasure it is to have this wisdom shared with us so we can then set our feet upon the path back to true love.
I have Serge Benhayon to thank for being awakened to the truth that we are all indeed ‘The One’! All equal parts of the whole; all holding within us, all that we could ever find outside of us.
What you have offered here in this blog Alison is absolute gold and it exists not in a mine shaft that requires much effort and process to extract its essence. It is right here within. Magnificent!
What you present here completely dismantles the need for any form of dynamics in our relationships.. THIS IS HUGELY SIGNIFICANT as ALL war is birthed from a dynamic stemming from an undealt with hurt or trauma. The resolution to this world dilemma (as you have shared) lies in the restoration of ourselves – to connect to all that is of love and truth within ourselves and others, see everything else but give it nothing.
‘I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life’ – I believed this too – but now I know it is not true. When we make love about our beingness – about who we are, not what we do – it becomes an essence we live from and there is no ‘picking and choosing’ who deserves our love, or who we can trust enough to share it with. In relative terms it is bit like air. Air does not say ‘you are not worthy of me, so I withhold myself from you’ – it is freely available and given to all.
It feels like there are always going to be those thoughts that if we let them make us feel diminished in some way and we really don’t have to subscribe to them. As you say bringing our focus to what is true, to who we are, once again, we are love-filled and in no doubt as to be being ‘THE one.’
Beautifully simple Alison Coleman – but then isn’t that what truth is – pure simplicity? Every relationship I have has a been transformed by this understanding that I am responsible for being Love and not seeking it in another, nor giving or sending it to others. Living life in the awareness that we are the Love we seek turns everything on its head.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon, I was living my life in so much protection I couldn’t feel the love that was being offered to me by others, I had no foundation of self love from which to truly feel anything. The beautiful thing is, it’s just a choice away, choosing to acknowledge and truly appreciate the love that we all are, this is what matters in life, not what we do. When we are living the love that we are and bringing it to everything we do, all that we do is divine.
Just Love what you’ve shared here, Alison, pure gold. Card comapnies could make an enormous contribution to society if they produced a Valentine’s Day card with only these words “Could it be that a loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” …. but not reserved for one day, rather available every single day.
This is amazing to read and feel where I’m at with me. Starting a new job with new people I realise how anxious I am and how much I give my power away – how much I abandon myself. It’s no wonder I can feel like a little child who is lost; how undermining and frightening this is to be disconnected from the wisdom within – like a rudderless boat in a stormy sea hoping for rescue. Then what if people get impatient with me for not knowing things they think I should know and stop being nice? Or get angry if I make mistakes? But I’m no longer a child and can choose to be loving with myself even if this disturbs others who are not that with themselves, but would like to be. Being the love that I am I no longer feel I need others to be a certain way, I’m no longer imposing on them to be this way.
Taking away my need for the world to be how I like it releases the strain and frustration that comes with control. I allow myself to be love and reflect this back.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ‘
love is who we are is something which does not require any skills or has any form of expectation. But if this is the quality of love, why are we living mostly the opposite, interpreting this as love?
“But that was love, right? Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.” It’s a lie but one we’ve chosen to believe for whatever reason when the truth is our own love has been there all along and is eternal.
If we were to truly understand this, could we ever again overeat? Drink or eat things that not support us fully? If it was truly felt how everything we need comes from within, these behaviors wouldn’t have a stand. Reality shows, we don’t understand, don’t allow ourselves to feel this. No wonder we are exhausted, we have to fight the nature and one thing that is forever closest to us. Our divinity.
I knew that love was a state, not an action but I didn’t know that I am love. Knowing that love is a state is very helpful as you don’t bargain with love but knowing that second is what makes a true difference.
Love is not just an action, but a form of action based on a certain energetic state of being. Without the beingness, there can be no action of love.
‘Could We Be THE ONE?’ I love this blog, so simple with a message that transforms lives and ends the constant search for love outside ourselves. Thank you Serge Benhayon for teaching about true Love and how to bring into our daily lives and in every expression. It has been a revelation and blessing.
Alison, this is GOLD: “When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” – thank you!
I remember as a teenager growing up, I thought that love was when you had a crushing feeling in the chest and you felt sick! And that it was associated with nervousness and anxiety and lots of emotions. Thankfully over the years of exploring this, and finally when I too discovered the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have come to understand that this is indeed one version of love, but certainly not the true and REAL love that lives within and is an energy that we can embody and express. This understanding allowed me to finally be free of the oppression of the false love that I thought was the real deal. And guess what – no more crushing feeling in the chest, instead it is an openness; and no more sick feeling and lots of emotions, instead it is a tenderness and a beautiful sense of being held. And so if and when I today feel the crush in the chest or the emotions, I know that I have indeed ‘fallen out of love’ and just need to tenderly bring myself back as there is no need anymore to play the other game anymore.
The transformation which is possible to everyone through making the choice to begin making self-loving choices each day is incredible. I personally went from an extremely disregarding lifestyle to making it about being truly healthy the best I can. I have seen many other on the path of doing the same and felt the transformations in their lives too – all just through beginning to live more lovingly towards on self and living more of the love we naturally are.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” That is so powerful, Alison, I love it. Yes, yes, yes, it is we, and only we, who have the responsibility to love ourselves. And to look at ourselves in the mirror is to see just how wonderful we are, gaze into your own eyes, and we can see the great love that we truly are, it is enormous just what we are capable of when we trust ourselves, and we are there all the time, it is just a matter of truly connecting with oneself, and being with that self consistently. We are the ONE and only one to do that.
“Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life” I would say I was the same Alison. However I am far less needy these days. learning to love myself and also appreciate me – as well as others has made such a difference to my life. Why isn’t this information out there? After all we are told to put on our own oxygen mask before another’s on every flight, should there be an airline situation.
Re-learning what love is has been life changing for me. The body can be conditioned to experience a version of what love is but undoing this has been like pulling a thread of a scarf and the scarf becomes a ball of wool again.
I experienced a situation recently where a close friend demonstrated a level of love towards someone that I had been feeling less than charitable towards; it showed to me a marker of how I must hold everyone in the fullness of the love I have and that to do this is an incredibly powerful and profound way to live. That beholding love is what changes the world, increasing the dose, as we say, through how we are with one another, and the effect when someone who has maybe been unloving themselves and knows it and so expects the same back, is massive in what it can affect.
Love can only be truly developed by self love and self care is something the whole world should know.I had heard the question, how can you truly love someone if you don’t love yourself, before but I never truly understood it until having it simply explained by Serge Benhayon. It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘looking for love in all the wrong places.
An awesome blog Alison, thank you for sharing. And yes, love is an…” energy you embody (from within yourself)…” arrests the pattern of looking out to be met with love. Its all there within.
“…this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person…” Simple this truth may be, however I still have difficulty accepting that I am this love. When I am accepting of this truth I don’t go searching for love in the external, yet when I am not in the acceptance of this fact, no amount of external “love” can fill the felt void of its internal absence.
Confirming and appreciating our own qualities creates more space for love in our lives.
“Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.” This is how love is generally portrayed as this finite thing that is given and received, that love is a transaction. Love is the opposite of this, it is a quality and depth of being that must be first held within ourselves and then can expand to all around.
Allison what you share is great, I know I got caught in my early years in looking for love outside of me, feeling the need of others and being dis-empowered in life. I too got to understand from Serge Benhayon, love is in side of us, we do not need to look for it, we just need to connect to it and live with that connection of love. The love is then emanated out for others to feel and be inspired for them to connect to the love within them.
Yes, Alison- we need to deeply appreciate and love the one looking at us from the mirror each day as he or she confirms who we truly are and our preciousness. This is a far cry from getting accolades for what we do or how we perform, we get many more accolades for living from our essence and allowing others to feel this every day.
There are ideals that to really love oneself is selfish – this could not be further from the truth as love holds everyone equally, so if someone is truly loving themselves naturally this love will be shared with others.
This takes me back to growing up in my teenage years looking for the one, that person, that relationship that was going to fix everything. How crazy that the one was always with me, was me in truth and I simply needed to connected to me. Even more crazy is how it was only Universal Medicine support that helped me feel this, that its not common place. Like the answer to all our problems is staring us in the face and yet we look everywhere but the one way that is true.
This is gorgeous Alison. I am learning more and more that I am ‘the one’! Lately I have been taking extra care of myself, and this love feels so exquisite and I have been feeling so amazing that I now know that no-one else can provide this for me. Loving myself is the basis for life and all my relationships, and this love can only expand and deepen.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” It has been through the teachings of Universal Medicine and the ongoing support of Esoteric Women’s Health that over the years I have come to relearn this is the only way to live as there is very little else in the outside world that reflects and supports me to feel who I truly am other than choosing to love me First.
Alison, I love this article. In society we have such a warped idea of love – it is a very romantic idea about love with a certain man or woman or those close to us rather than us being love. When we are love it is a consistent love that is not reliant on another, it can build and always be there no matter what is going on around us, this is true love and we are then able to love others, we can be love not just with our partners or husbands but with everyone. I am feeling this more and more and it feels amazing, no longer is love an emotional roller coaster but is a way of being with myself and others that feels true, solid, joyful and supportive.
There is more to life than striving for acceptance or acknowledgement.
Love this part “I’ve come to understand that … nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me”. By accepting this we are well on the way.
For me the following sentences is the best medicine ever: “When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” Imagine we all would live like this – we would not think bad of others or would judge them – we would let them be as we would let us be who we are – just understanding and loving people.
To accept that WE are the ONE requires us to let go of the very ingrained belief that only special people are the ONE. Could it be that humanity accepted the teaching that only special people could be the ONE in order to avoid taking responsibility for themselves? And if we have done that then what else have we accepted in order to not be the ONE? It is time to examine the foundations upon which we walk.
The title of this blog says it all. It is ingrained in us from a very young age that there is someone out there for each of us that is “the one”. “The one” who will take away our woes, our issues and make us feel better when we are down. And people seek relationships based on this ideal and yet are soon disappointed as those issues continue to rear their heads and we are then left blaming the other person for not fulfilling our needs. When relationships are based on us knowing full well that we are “the ones” then relationships are from a true love (not neediness) and can then be about evolution.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” When we understand that true love is already there within it is not something that someone gives to us, we can then take the responsibility as to if we are feeling love or not. If I am not feeling love, I know for myself I need to look at why. How have I been living, what have I been doing and what has my relationship with myself been like if I am not feeling love? Through understanding that the depth as to the love I feel is a direct result of the choices that I make, I now know that I am the one accountable and responsible for love, no one else.
Thank you Alison, it is plainly obvious you could write a book on “Love” and all the virtues that come from the understanding God is Love. So this as a base line for the truth of Love, I patiently await the book!
I can so clearly remember the feeling of loss I felt when a relationship came to an end when I was younger; often turning to any means of dulling what I felt – an emptiness that I had been trying to fill with someone else was again staring me in the face. In truth the tap I was looking for was always inside me, I had but to choose to turn it on.
The world would look and feel completely different if each person adopted the potential that they are already love, this is what we are born as, and chose to live from that.
The impact of accepting this fact – wow – yes, this would be a game changer for us all.
We fill our own cups with love and we can then share that love with another. No one else can fill our cup. When we have that expectation it is imposing and can make any relationship yuck.
I find I can distract myself in many ways so that I do not have to realise that I am love. I get busy, I get racy, I get a lot done…but all of this can take me away from my quality and from realising the love that I am. I know that in this life I am here to be love, yet at the moment I’m busy doing other things. Why, I ask myself do I distract myself away from the most gorgeous thing in the world? Hmmm…good question!
‘the one who will be with us in every moment of every day’ and so is the love of the soul, always there waiting for us to reconnect to it and allow it to fully express through us. It is unwavering and with every step we take towards ourselves it comes 2 steps closer.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” Reading this blog and particularly this line, I can feel how deeply blessed I am to have come to know this truth about love via the presentations, books and workshops of Serge Benhayon. There are so many false ideals and beliefs around what love is that most are very exhausting and unnatural, to live with the knowing that true love is an energy and what I am naturally is a very welcome truth in my life.
Alison this is a great blog that I’d wished I’d read in my youth. So much energy misspent on trying to be attractive to another so that I could win the love I was seeking, when all the time the one I was looking for was me. Your words ‘I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me,’ are life-changing if fully embraced. The more I love me then the more I can love everyone, and there’s no need to seek love from the world any more. Love emanates from within. How cool is that!
There is nothing more satisfying that feeling love in my body.
Since my teens I have had the mental concept that one could not truly love another without loving oneself. However, it remained just that, a mental concept, however much I endeavoured to live that – there was always something ‘wrong’ about myself so could I love myself? Consequently by being self-critical and judgmental about myself, so I was with others. No wonder my relationships did not last, irrespective how much love I was offered. Then in my mid-fifties I encountered Serge Benhayon who, like you Alison, “was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” And like you, I have followed the same recipe and gorgeous outcome. Than God for Serge Benhayon.
One of the many revelations I have experienced through hearing Serge Benhayon share the Ageless Wisdom is that we cannot love another person in isolation. This is a falsehood and when we start to appreciate that love is not something we give and receive but something that we are, this makes perfect sense. If I am being Love then I am being Love with everyone – not just my ‘chosen few’. This is a life changing awareness – but then so much of what Serge presents is life changing in this way. Understanding this about Love challenged and exposed all the old beliefs and ideas I had about what love is – as untrue.
There was a time in my life when I would have read this and felt that however true the words might be, there was no way I could connect with my own love, despite many years of self help books and courses, I just felt dead inside. It took a living example to show me how to get there, how to discover that I too have an innate lightness and joy that I can connect to, express and deepen everyday in all I do. The living example is Serge Benhayon, who holds so strong to his own love so that it shines a light for us all to navigate our way home by, expressing the immense love he is in all he does, providing a multi-dimensional lesson on how to live in connection to our light, love and joy every day of our lives. Consequently caring for Number One is an essential part of my day, so that caring for Every One is me just expressing my innate love and care and today I can definitely connect with, agree and appreciate what is written in this blog. Thank you Alison, thank you Serge and thank you God for restoring Love to its proper place within our lives.
Love as a state of being, rather than an emotional drive. There’s a lot in these words. During the time that I was re-reading this blog I noticed how I still was looking for an answer, basically for Love within this blog. Meaning that I was looking for Love, for me, outside of me. It makes sense to compare, to be jealous, to compete, etc. when focused on the outside, as Love will never be found outside of us. Yet, we’re putting enormous effort into ‘proving’ and finding ourselves outside of us. Looking for identifications, rather than being the True us. Whereas Loving ourselves deeply and holding ourselves in awe and appreciation on a daily basis feels Gorgeous and should actually be normal.
I pondered on the belief that ‘ love hurts’, and how this inevitably plays out in our relationships. Actually, how ingrained is this belief, that we end up often in relationship arrangements instead of loving ones? As you share Alison, to embody love through self love and self care is a way to expose this false belief that love would hurt.
This is a great blog Alison, describing a true ‘U-turn’ moment when there is a realisation that instead of love being …”something you went in search of giving and receiving…” it is actually…” something you chose to be…”
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.”- Yes I too believed that love was something you searched for outside of yourself or it was acts of kindness, doing for others. This new found awareness that we come from love within has totally changed my understanding and interactions with others.
The inner emptiness I once felt is now being filled with my own love and it feels so beautiful and joyous.
Reconnecting to love within has shown me a different way to see and experience the world. To not be drawn into the emotional turmoil that gets rehashed on a daily basis is to leave me free to be all that I am, in joy and appreciation of all that surrounds and naturally supports me.
Saying we are the ONE will at this point in time possibly meet with a bit of resistance, as the world has been on a quest to find this elusive love forever, we are continuing see on a daily basis the results of loveless acts, so we are no closer on a global scale of reaching our goal. Love as a foundation with everyone knowing we are all the ONE will make for such a new world experience, sounds fanciful but isn’t that all we are missing.
Alison you have highlighted a conditioning the world has accepted as the way it is … that love is outside of ourselves. In truth I now know that to be false, we are love and it is felt when we start to be loving and precious with ourselves, and the reflection of love is felt with others. No longer do we have to go searching or feel that longing as we are love and it feels like now I have come home within myself.
‘Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.’ This is so true Alison and knowing it is equal us all allows us to see past these hurts in ourselves and others and brings us to a place of understanding and true connection.
I have always felt that love was a state, not an activity as I didn’t need to do anything when love was there. What I was missing is that I am love and what precisely love is.
loving yourself has been tainted as being narcotic or egocentric but when we understand that what we live is what we reflect to all then living in self-love and expressing the love that we are will be what we share with and reflect to others. There is no greater form of healing and it is the only way to truly love another.
The fear of loosing love and the idea that love is finite grows from the lack of self-love. When I care for myself one day and don’t care that much on the next, this is registered as a reality in the body, hence the fear.
I observe often what you describe here, Alison. People get hurt sometimes through little things and then instead of dealing with the hurt they avoid the connection with the other person. This always leaves a feeling of sadness in me, because in truth we are all deeply connected and just do not appreciate this.
“Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.” It took Serge Benhayon to show me a living example of true Love to fully appreciate the difference, so thank you Alison for making this very important distinction. True love never, ever hurts, it holds, it makes space, it allows, it uplifts and it is never needy of another or anything to fulfil it or return something to it. Meeting this quality in Serge Benhayon has supported so many, you and me included to truly reconnect to this Love that resides in us all but is seldom nurtured. Learning how to restore it as our default expression is essential, it brings a harmony, joy and stillness that is desperately needed in this world that once claimed can never be lost.
Looking outside of ourselves for that which we feel is missing has kept humanity from realising who we are for so long that it has become painful to see the error of our ways and such is our pride, we will simply choose not to go there. Not only does becoming aware of and developing our own love allow true relationships to develop but it frees us from the arrogance of the existence we have previously known.
Great question Alison, “Could we be the One”. If you would have asked me this equation some years ago I would have replied negatively, but now I am saying yes I am. Because of the presentations and workshops from Serge Benhayon I attended I have become aware of the fact that I am a son of God, that I am from love and have been able to reconnect with this inevitable fact that I am the One. And the funny thing is that I am not alone in being the One as I am with many as we are all one and the same, we only have to reclaim this and start to live accordingly.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” I love this question that you have posed Alison. While we are constantly searching for the ‘perfect’ relationship, the ‘perfect love’ then this only keeps us at arms length from feeling that we are the love we have been searching for…and more.
Once we know what love is, and it is not emotional love – there is a similarity but it is actually something completely different, we then can notice that we are love and that what is not love in us is not part of us so we can then, over time, let these items go.
We are sold this “tug of war” game of love from very early on and it is never going to open up the possibility of what is really waiting until we are shown where to look.
“nobody else can do the job of loving me’. This is so true, if we look at the way we approach most relationships we are asking or even demanding from others what we do not care to give ourselves.
Love is definitely something that we connect to within.
What “hurts” is us not being love, so when we are in any situation and we do not bring love we are hurting ourselves! How simple is that to relate to, when all the time we have been looking for love in the strangest of places and it is within our inner-heart the whole time saying, “why are you hurting yourself just bring love”. There is no judgment or criticism in our inner-heart or in love. Just live with the complete understanding we all have free will to be love or not. So when we feel like stopping all the hurting of our selves, just “be love.”
We are all responsible for our own connection to the divine inner wisdom that has always been there.
This is gold, the simplicity of truth, as you have stated Alison, that love is not something we can go in search of to give and receive, but something we chose to be.
And so true, if we don’t have that Love for ourselves first, it is impossible to love another, in which case the ‘love’ we think is love is based on something else, something that serves to fill an emptiness, but which will never truly be enough, and will never truly last as it is not based in truth.
Coming from this understanding that at our core we are Love, not a theoretical understanding, but a truly lived process of uncovering, experiencing and ever-deepening into the understanding of that love is what brings true enrichment to our lives, and connection and responsibility for all.
This is so beautifully expressed Alison from Serge Benhayon that love is an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care. This is such a super profound teaching for us all, the basis on which to live our lives. When we truly love ourselves and can feel that, we have to stop the self bashings, lack of self worth and all the internal negative talk that we are not enough. This reflects to all others we meet in our lives to show everyone that we all have this quality, we are all The One.
I have to stop and ask myself how is it possible that I also thought that Love was something that someone else gave you, gave me. That it was something that I had to be given? This was what I thought and it affected everything about my life, it’s only been in recent years and through the teachings of Universal Medicine that I’ve come to understand and appreciate the fact that Love is a quality that I build, it comes from me and does not need to be given to me. Now understanding Love is a way of being everything in life changes, starting with the relationship I have with myself, others and everything.
Alison, I love this, ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not,’ It is so common in society for us to see and talk about the negative things about ourselves, rarely do you hear someone talking about their qualities – this is seen as ‘big headed’, what a shame as this negative self talk keeps us small and stops us seeing and feeling how amazing we truly are.
“nobody else can do the job for me”. The flip of this is the fact that we must therefore already have all the tools to do the job for ourselves. What I mean by this is that whilst it is awesome and very important to get support from others, in the end, we get to see that actually we had it all, all along the way.
Being the one we are looking for and having a loving relationship with ourselves feels the most beautiful thing deep inside. From this ever expanding love we simply are complete and can then share this with every one else in the world what a beautiful way to live. We are all the one!
We are indeed all the One because the truth of the matter is that there is only One of us. We are all the United particles of God, so therefore, yes we are all, very literally, The One.
Alison you are spot on of course, if we don’t have that relationship with ourselves first, then we will not be able to have it with anyone. This is a fundamental point most of us miss in seeking the love we want from another. Love is inside us, something Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have been presenting and teaching for 15 years now… hence why so many now have so much love in their lives… just as you’ve described for yourself.
Searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right – no chance in the world when there is no foundation of self-love first and foremost; we cannot have another give us what we are not willing to give to ourselves.
Meeting the man of your dreams doesn’t fill the love void, usually after the honeymoon period what is reflected is everything that is not healed within yourself, it could be mistrust, rejection, self worth, it waits underneath the surface to be felt or let go of. Your blog presents that Mr or Mrs Right is defiantly not the answer to love but rather a relationship with self that then naturally is in all relationships.
Where in the world are we presented with the fact that we are love and given the practical opportunity to experience this truth, that love is nothing we need to seek outside ourselves but to reconnect to deep within, that there is nothing to achieve only to return to by letting go of what is not of our true making etc. etc.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine don´t just teach and talk but live and reflect the very truths revealed for everyone to come to their own truth in their own time on their own terms to finally realize that we all are the ONE.
“I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.” I absolutely love what you have shared here Alison. This particular step has been a long time coming for me and taking responsibility for loving me is something I check in with regularly as it is is all too easy to slip into the fantasy of ‘Mr Right’. In my experience when I become set on the love of someone else it feels awful in my body.
A great reminder Alison – “The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” Thank you.
The only one we are waiting for is ourselves – that’s a life changing concept!
Our relationship with ourselves is the most precious relationship we will ever have as it directly reflects the relationship we have with God, our Soul and every person equally. Yes, it is a relationship well worth nurturing as it returns us to true love.
Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? I have to say a big resounding YES, we spend our whole lives searching to be loved when it is right within, awaiting our return, and how magnificently beautiful is knowing and loving The One you are.
“I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.” this is how I have been in relationships at times too. Feeling like love is a roller coaster ride and a drama. Over time as I have developed self love and love for all not just the select few – I have found love to be more consistent and ever expanding with fewer ups and downs.
The words ‘love hurts’ really stood out when I read your blog this morning and it reminded me of an old “love” song with this title, one of many that has, over many years sold us the lie that love is a painful experience. We are love, innately so. We are love equally so. And we all come from the one great love. There is no pain in love. Our separation from this love is what hurts. Love simply loves.
‘we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do’ – it’s such a simple thing when you write it down, and yet it makes all the difference in the world.
Awesome blog revealing a powerful fact that the love we miss so much and often seek outside of ourselves simply lies within us. It seems so apparent that the life we have created is set to discourage us from going there, that it is arrogant to love yourself and that you should put others first. I can’t help but feel that much of this is because as others start to live in a way which is loving of themselves this offers another way to us all and perhaps that exposes the pain of the choices we have been making to not hold ourselves in this love that we know we are and have separated from.
I know this experience of riding the wave of what felt like love and taking everything from it that I could, all the while preparing for when the big hurt would come and trust would be demolished again. This roller-coaster way of being in relationships with people has only come to a stop when I re-learnt how to be in relationship with myself and with the divinity within me first. Then every relationship that I have does not need the drama of the ups and the downs because the steadiness that is coming from me is enough, more than enough, to hold the path back to true love with every person.
‘Could we Be THE one?’ An awesome question. Discovering we are ‘THE’ one we’ve searched for all our lives is a revelation, and magnificent truth. The penny dropped at last, no need to search outside of self to find that special someone, (it’s great when we do) but we have it all already within ourselves. Precious.
‘Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person,’ Wow how different my life would have been had I received this truth as a child.
Love….I have just come to the realization that this is who I am and all I can really do. I can’t stop it. I can’t hide it . It just is a part of me as is my arms or hair. But through life I have had a few knocks and have tried to protect and isolate myself and disconnect and all the many other things that we try to come up with to navigate the survival of life. Which don’t work and end up making things worst. The returning to love is the only way and is all our answers.
Alison, the words ‘be like a feather’ have come up for me several times since reading your article, it’s such a fantastic analogy and the beauty and sheer delight of being able to live like that is tantalizingly sweet in comparison to how I have lived for most of my life. I am now at a point however where I am able to see 360 degrees around most of my reactions and it is this understanding that enables me to exercise choice in my behaviours far more than in the past. I do know that ‘being like a feather’ is a choice.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” And this is the art of true medicine.
Alison, while pondering on your title “Could we be the one” the question popped into mind “Why couldn’t we be the one?” We are experts in placing limitations on ourselves – so it is in our hands to turn this around and start peeling them off one by one.
Love can’t be measured so where did we get this notion from?
Alison, as I read your first paragraph “Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.” my head is nodding in agreement 100%. For me, Serge’s teachings have helped me to start opening the very tightly fitting lid of the box that I was guardedly holding onto that contained the word LOVE. I look forward to the day when I can ‘let it ALL hang out!’
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.” So there is no need to go and get something outside of me, I can simply share all of me.
“love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.” It must be true when all the songs have texts along this lines? We get sold these illusions in so many ways, on tv, in the movies, books and people around you. From the presentations of Serge Benhayon I have come to know that we have all the love we are looking for inside us and we only have to connect to it to reclaim our own power and strength.
I love your opening line about love being only for a selected group, for a few special people. I had exactly that picture and in it also you can love 1 person more than another. I thought I could turn the ‘love button’ on and off without being aware of how tiring and against our innate way of being together this actually is. Every time when I give a training with a group the thing that gets to all of us is how we love to connect, to ourselves and to each other. We melt in this, for it gives us the freedom to be how we truly want to be together.
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if romantic movies started to be made where the relationship that is the focus is the one between you and yourself – showing that it is the most important relationship of all as it effects all your relationships – the more love you have for yourself, the more overflows into your relationships with others.
Self-care leads to self-love, self-love leads to love of ourselves first of all and then when we truly feel this, we develop love for all. Until we find love from within, we will always be searching outside of ourselves for it.
If we are all the ONE, then we don’t have to look up to people, compare with others, be jealous, no need for guru’s or thinking that we are better. All wars would stop. If we are all the ONE, then we are the same. Living from the knowing that I am the ONE and you are the ONE, brings true harmony.
“love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.” – This is such a big concept that deserves to be called out for the falseness that you have expressed. There is indeed an equality in accepting the love you are with yourself first and foremost, and then allowing that to be equally present with others.
How exhausting our lives are. We spend our time searching for the love that we have been told is elusive. When we think we might have found it, we enter with trepidation…surely it will fail! Doesn’t it always? We strip a tissue thin layer of the inches thick casement of protection, developed over many untrusting years. We imagine that is letting people get close…just not too close.
Meanwhile, unlooked for, there is all the love we have dreamed of inside of us. It is a blowtorch that melts away every guard we have laid on, for in that love we have no need to hide from anything and anyone. Finally we learn that there is nothing elusive about love, nothing to fear, and never was there anything to lose.
The focus on the what is brings a form of settlement that is truly still.
I have recently written a university assignment about creating a facade of narcissism (self-centredness) that when challenged easily crumbles leaving behind the ’empty self’. While I was reading your sharing, Alison, I realised that conditional love can also be a facade that we live behind, playing the game, but once this is challenged it too can crumble leaving us with the original feelings of emptiness we started with. This feels like an important step on the road to live a more true life. To be honest about the emptiness we feel that we are seeking others to fill up for us. It is so true that it is for us to fill with our own love, and this can be done through self-love, which reminds us of who we are, precious beings, worthy of not just being cared for, but Loved.
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person…” This has been an easy concept for me to understand but tricky to fully accept and allow in my life. What I have found is that the love that I experience from others is a reflection of the love that I have for myself. In that, when I feel a lot of love for myself I also feel this from and about others, however, when I don’t feel this depth of love for myself then I can’t feel it anywhere else. This so clearly shows to me that we have to be love in and with ourselves first.
Choosing to be love builds love in our bodies, our expression of love builds more love in our bodies so that gradually our physical bodies can be more and more infused with love. Amazing that we can do this for ourselves and change the momentum of lifetimes.
Indeed, we are all ‘the one’, we are all the love that we have grown up seeking and wanting to be. We have just got so caught up in the search and desire to be love we have missed the fact that we are in fact love and have it all within. So far from life being about accumulating things it is about discarding the hurts and layers we have taken on allowing the love we are to come out in full, unencumbered by any image or ideal about we think it should be or should look like.
Understanding that we are love and that we are from love is the most important thing to accept about ourselves, after that wee hurdle, all else is almost plain sailing.
The need that we go into relationships is so heavy and loaded that it is no wonder that there is much complications and lacking of real connection. Always thinking we are not enough and seeking the acceptance and recognition from others is one of the most crippling beliefs that there ever is. We have it hangng over us like a black cloud constantly raining but were not prepared to stop and look underneath the wet cold exterior we have been lead to believe is us. When we do stop and see that we are Absolutely Everything that we need to be and much much more there is no need for someone else to give this to us. The freedom in this is extremely empowering and liberating.
A great article Alison. I alway thought emotions are love. I thought to have sympathy with the other person is love. Today I feel how uneasy I feel when I am in sympathy and how freeing it feels when I choose being the love I am and stay with me connected to my body. Sympathy or emotions is like leaving ones own body in order to be with the other person. But then love is not anymore possible.
Starting with a true and ever developing love affair with ourselves we lay the foundation for all our relationships, and when committed to this leaves us free of needing or demanding anything from others. It is amazing to enter into a relationship (any interaction with anyone constitutes a relationship) without there being an agenda about a feedback or reward system – when felt it is simply an expansion of our love affair with ourselves and life.
Thank you Alison, I had a chuckle to myself reading this blog. I can so relate to searching for so long for another to be the one who knew what love and truth were. When in fact all the time all II needed to do was to stop and look within and accept that I too like everyone else in essence are love and know what is truth.
I love how you’ve presented this Alison – that WE are ‘the one’ we’ve been waiting, searching and quite likely (at least at times) pining for…
And I would take this precious relationship with ourselves one step further. What if, once in touch with our own love and such a relationship with self (which ever-deepens…), we can in truth be ‘the one’ to others? Not in a way that fuels the false notions of love you’ve so well exposed (the neediness, the pining for another to ‘complete us’, etc…) – but rather, that by virtue of such a solidity and cherished relationship with ourselves, God and the all, that we are ‘the one’ to others through all that we reflect. Our very being saying to all: you also are, ‘the one’ – why hold back the greatness of love that is there for you, and for us all…?
Yes we can Victoria be the ‘the one’ to others, just as you describe, and beautifully expressed.
I wholeheartedly agree Alison. Learning to lovingly appreciate and accept the woman I am in the mirror has been the biggest gift I have ever given myself. We all are indeed THE one. Thank you Alison.
Holding ourselves back – for safety and protection is an illusion as when we are full of our light there is not a doubt or a fear in the world. It is always our own love that we miss.
Thank you Alison. Something I’m beginning to learn; reserving our awesome inner self – only for certain people and at certain times does not work and ‘the other’ which is to not let out how amazing I am does not work. The key to this for me I have found is intelligence. Surrendering to the amazing love within comes with an enormous intelligence, Am I willing to show it? It is not a form of intelligence like smartness – it is a natural exuberance that is actually quite simple but is a living intelligence.
The moment we don’t acknowledge we are love, a great big bundle of it, emanating, ooooozing just simply and magnificently love, everything we look at and experience is warped and twisted. I speak from experience when I share that if I look out of my eyes and I am not aware of being this love then the world looks different, it is like the angles of the pictures I receive are slightly warped. Things jar and I am much more likely to be reactive. If I look at the same places, people and situations knowing I am love, the angles, reactions and responses are completely different. I made it an experiment, so don’t feel you just have to believe this experience and follow, but it is well worth seeing, feeling and experiencing for yourself.
In recent days the conversation has once again turned to partners and finding the perfect partner. There is so much pressure to find ‘the one’. This blog perfectly illustrates the importance of valuing that connection with ourselves in order to be in any relationship.
I love this Alison. “…love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” This is how love is so often fed to us from all aspects of life. When I had it presented to me that love actually came from within it changed my life, I realised that I had to first love me and that love came from within me, it was not something given to me. This has changed all my relationships.
We can spend our whole life looking for the ‘one’, when the truth is that the ‘one’ is with us all the time, from the moment we are born until the moment we pass over. What is going on that we have been so tricked into believing that someone outside of ourselves is ‘the one’? To answer that question we have to consider what energies/forces are at play and how we have a choice to align with an energy that supports us to know ourselves in truth or an energy that takes us away from knowing the truth. This is basic information that everyone deserves to know as it explains everything that goes on in life.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror” I agree, as we have been conditioned to always look for the ” special one” out there and that is Exhausting! when we can start by loving and appreciating our own reflection until it is a natural way of being. We need more mirrors! Thank you Alison.
True love starts within, the more we appreciate and accept our own qualities the more we can shine the love to others, there is no stop!
Ah yes, good old Mr or Miss Right – the person of your dreams, there to sweep you off your feet and love you forever. But why should we need to rely on another person to bring us happiness, that’s not only a heck of a lot of pressure on them, but also means you give the power over your feelings to someone else. What you’re presenting in your blog is that when we love ourselves first and foremost, we don’t need someone else to do it, and so we can be happy and full no matter what, and share the love you feel for yourself with others.
We all know deep inside what love is. The fact that it hurts so much to see all that is not love in this world proves that we know what love is. How could we not know what love is because love is who we are. The issue here is that we have completely bastardised the word love and use it to mean all that is not love. Unimedpedia is a resource that looks at how words like love have been bastardised and bring truth back to them. Unimedpedia Love can be found here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html
An absolutely awesome resource Unimedpedia is Nicola, thank-you for sharing this. Anyone who seeks true self-inquiry is well met by this resource – we have accepted so much as ‘normal’ that is a far cry from truth.
Alison, I love the way you have shared the changes you have made in your life by viewing things from a different perspective – knowing you are from love, rather than ‘not being love’ and exposing all the traps that bind us when living in from this untrue way.
“These layers of the ‘what isn’t’ love, such as the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised, can seem overwhelming, yet in reality they’re all minute in comparison to the amazingness of who we truly are”.
The understanding of love and your experience of yourself gets fuller and more inspiring throughout the article and I am left with a deep appreciation and joy reading about the profound level of love, honouring and appreciation expressed in your words. Wouldn’t it be just delightful if everyone returned to this level of love and appreciation.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day” This is such a beautiful line. It has become so enormously normal that we do not love ourselves and that love is only found outside of ourselves, in family and partners, that we have to re-learn that we can love ourselves. Which is something very very lovely to do.
Reading this blog makes me wonder why we haven’t twigged that the version of love sold in valentines day cards really isn’t it. Through understand that everything is energy there are so many pockets of my life where I have sold out to a version of love that is so much less that what is truly available, I am still discovering and developing this everyday.
How glorious it is to know that we can never lose that which is with us innately so – the LOVE that each and every one of us is and that it’s never something that we can or need to gather from outside of ourselves
“I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life”. This is such a clear statement it rings like a bell as I feel the truth of it. How many of us even stop to feel that? There is often a great resistance because the accepted and practised way love is sought ad experienced in this false ideal of what it actually is, feels comfortable and easy to let oneself choose, whereas unconditional love, for self first and so others, is not such an easy choice, as we meet many uncomfortable moments.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Could responsibility truly be this joyful, this simple?
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” This was a life changing U turn for me also, a deep sense of responsibility that is continuously unfolding.
This blog is so spot on, I have loved reading it again. It has confirmed ever so simply, the truth. The endless pursuits of ideas and images of love are such a waste of energy, time and often money, when all we have to do is to be ourselves.
The search for love is over when we return home to ourselves, our own innate love that has been waiting patiently all along.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ This is a very strong and practical art Alison. A simple way of learning that it’a bout perspective and how we can change the thoughts we allow through by how we move our body and the choices we make. A question I often ask myself, ‘is this love?’ (be it a movement or thought) ‘or is it everything that is NOT love?’
We have it all, yet we look for that in everything outside of ourselves. It’s a dis-ease in humanity to be constantly wanting to be loved but not waking up to the fact that it is our duty to live and express true love in our daily lives. We have it all, like you said Alison, waiting to be realised.
Not only is it empowering to realise that the love that we thought we need to find is already within us, and the deep acceptance and appreciation which we seek is one that we can develop from within, but also for the friends and relations that have been made responsible for supplying the love we thought we are lacking it must be a wonderful gift to have this burden lifted.
When the search of Love goes full circle and we realise that we need to venture nowhere, all we need to do is be that which we naturally are, then our Love truly reaches far and wide.
If we each even just took one moment each day to appreciate the love we already are, the world would be a completely different place.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” As I bring this into my life more and more I would say absolutely yes this is what I have searched for – a true love of myself and then naturally this overflows to include others.
Alison this blog is pure gold. We are the one we have spent decades searching for. Mind boggling and utterly awesome. Thank you.
It is evident that the majority of the human race has been caught in the trap of looking for love outside of ourselves, and could it be the worse trap of all because it keeps us away from connecting to the true love that is inside of us, and has always been inside of us. So at what point did we choose to ‘look elsewhere’ for love? Alison, I can relate to your blog in as much as I perpetually sought love from others too, and it wasn’t until Serge Benhayon presented to me that true love resides within our inner-heart and it is who we truly are that I realised the truth, that we are all the One, and the illusion that we can find true, everlasting love from someone else is just that, an illusion, so thank-you for sharing your realisation that you are THE ONE 🙂
There is such a merry-go-round of searching for the ‘right’ person to love. Both sexes have a checklist of attributes that are their ‘perfect’ match, it’s such an empty search for the ideal person. If only we could see the one relationship that matters first is the one within.
It feels like such a trap that we are led to believe that we go in search of love, or wait for love to come to us, but all the while, love is sitting on our doorstep, inside of us.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror …” – this can be applied when we are seeking love from others, and it can also be when we have an issue with another person – it all starts with us.
Great summary for life Alison – “The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” We can so easily focus on the what is not, this is where we can feel bogged down, overwhelmed and down on our selves, whereas, if we learn to focus on the fact we are love, that everyone is, then we have a much better chance of feeling our innate wisdom, love and equality for all.
When we know that, at times, we can feel love throughout our body, we then can have a simple purpose: Feeling what is not love and choosing whether to continue with it or not. That purpose can be transformative.
Even if you have an amazing partner and super loving relationship, they cannot be there every second of the day, loving you and telling you that you’re amazing and worth it – in the end, the only person with you all the time is you, and so you are the only one capable of filling that gap or void we often feel needs to be filled by those outside of us, but can only truly be filled by our love for ourselves.
Yes – it is time to see our Mr/Mrs Right in the mirror every day, accept, appreciate and honor our connection to us and bring this into the world (serve) – instead of searching for something to fulfill our self created inner emptiness. This is not just a responsibility we hold for ourselves but for humanity. What joy to claim back our connection, love and power and to offer this reflection to our bothers.
Love this blog Alison. It is so powerful to know that we are THE ONE, if fact we are the only one, who can make our world be everything we have if wished for when it comes to LOVE. We can give our ALL to our very own self. Knowing this we need never criticise nor be down on ourselves for if we don’t like something we know we have the power to change that something within our self, whether it be an attitude reflected back to us or a situation we are not wanting to be involved in . . . we can know what course to take by tuning into our body and listening to the messages it is delivering and acting in accordance to those messages. This is loving our self!
What dawns on me reading this blog is how much I have resisted genuine love from others because I have not been willing to love myself. Loving ourselves is the ultimate game changer as from there we re-discover the joy and meaning of life and relationships.
If we are our own Mr or Mrs Right, it guarantees that there is always a special someone for us! That fairytale relationship is not a might have, but a birthright for us all.
Well said Simon
In a world where everything that is not love prevails it may be hard to fathom that we all are in essence love but simply not living it. No wonder that we believe we have to seek and find love somewhere just like all the emotional stimulations that only exist when we get involved with things outside ourselves. To realize that everything is expression and thus active for us to be experienced is a crucial key to making a choice from which source and in what quality to express. To experience love we need to express from and with love, ie. from a source already existing and not seeking from an emptiness (need) to be filled from outside.
When leaving behind the romantic, emotional versions of love we are set free to start having loving relationships.
We may need to examine where all these images of what love supposedly looks like come from and how we have fallen for them when in truth love is image free as it is a beingness, an energetic presence of who we are that can be clearly felt and shared. Meaning that as long as we hold a picture of love we are not in the fullness of its truth.
Presenting that love is an energy that resides within is particularly powerful when it is presented by a person that connects and lives from it every day of his life. It is Serge Benhayon’s Livingness that speaks of the way back to love for all of mankind.
Alison with your powerful blog you lead the way out of the old ideals and believes around LOVE. You showed us that true love starts with understanding, accepting, appreciate &loving oneself first. This leaves of course “less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.”
The usual seeking of the Mr/Mrs right is laced with pictures and expectations and is destined for disappointment. When we first connect and love ourselves there is no need for seeking.
One can never be lonely when one is loving oneself. A relationshipi then just expands this love and erases the neediness.
Investing our ‘love’ and sense of ‘being loved’ in others is a total set up, where we are forever craving the thing we want the most. You describe it perfectly Alison, in that, we are forever seeking this, trying to attain it and will virtually do anything to have it; along with a fear of ‘messing up’ or ‘losing it’. It is the images we hold of what love is that really get in the way for us, and when we understand love as a quality, we see it is not about any one person at all – but something available for us ALL.
Many of us have been hoodwinked into the idea that love is only for a special few. Through Universal Medicine I have come to know that love is only love when it is universal. It isn’t something that can be contained or limited. Coming to the understanding of what true love is and how to cultivate it within myself and then with others has been an absolute game changer for me. I am no longer looking for love outside of myself. The more I connect with me and truly honour myself through self-care, love for myself grows. With this growth, I cannot help but feel that for others. And the beautiful thing is that it isn’t gender based. The love I feel for a man who is a friend, is no different to the love that I feel for a female friend. Love is indeed universal.
“…love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care…” This is cornerstone comment that ‘U-turns’ the approach in all relationships. Instead of looking out for love, the greatest love one will ever find is the love thats within, and then this is then seen in all others. It changes relationships completely. Thanks for sharing Alison.
We are taught from a young age to love another, to love something, but never to love ourselves, and so we are taught to deny the immense sense of wonder that lives deep within ourselves.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This here is the one false belief & game we have all bought into. The fact that we seek love outside of ourselves creates illness, disease, disconnection and depression just to name a few.
Choosing to BE LOVE is the game changer.
Seeking love outside ourselves is an unattanable endevour
Amazing thank you Alison, I went to ‘Face Time’ today, very real and a great way to feel my depth of reconnection. There is no need for mirrors in this modern era, so no more hiding for me. I will now consistently look at ‘Face Time’ as a true reflection of where ‘I am at’ along with checking in when I shave and prepare for the day, although I could try to shave in front of the computer with Face Time. Where is the world getting to today? Let it be all of me!
If we deeply know, feel and emanate the fact that we are love, we can only ever meet another in that love.
Popular culture has much to answer for in its promotion of romantic love, a form of love that is a far cry from what love really is. It sets up false yearnings and ideals and beliefs that keep us on a merry-go-round of hurts, betrayals, abandonments and so on. A strong platform of self-love means these diversions won’t enter the picture as understanding takes the place of confusion, doubt and hurt.
” … Nobody else can do the job of loving me …” Teaching this to us as children would prevent all sorts of relationship issues on the cards for most of us as we grow up. There’s a great book from Sunlight Ink Publishing called ‘My No.1 Job’ and I highly recommend it for everybody.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ What a cracker of a line – fancy choosing to actually be love ourselves instead of seeking it elsewhere in or with others! This sounds like self-responsibility – the choice to take responsibility for loving ourselves first before we foist our love-less neediness on others.
It seems as if we need to first fall in love with ourselves before we can contemplate truly loving another.
Dating forever changed Alison. The endless search and its almost inevitable disappointment comes from the simple fact we have looked in all the wrong places. And what pressure and demand we place on others in the process! Always testing them to see if we can trust them enough to really open ourselves to be vulnerable.
Yet love has been present within us from the very start, to be found and developed for ourselves.
What then do we offer the world? What beauty? What do we offer people when we become the One who is so solid in knowing who they are, solid in love?
In becoming our own one we the One who inspires others to know they are the One too.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” This is one of the most worthwhile studies to undertake.
‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’ – The practice of appreciation everyday in my life has reflected back to me the fullness of me and the life that I live. It has supported all of life around me and connected the truth of everything in the eternal and absolute essence that it is. No longer is it separation that I make ‘my way’ each day and in each moment but now there is only the flow of the all. I started out as the ‘One’ but through appreciation ‘the One’ has become the ‘All’. Thanks Alison
When I had this realisation after attending Universal Medicine courses, presentations and workshops by Serge Benhayon – that in actual fact what I had been looking for all along was with me just waiting to be connected to. This was a show stopper because it threw everything out the window that I had thought, looked and seemingly found something that was supposed to be it but wasn’t it at all. Once I made it about my relationship with myself and nurturing this all started to change. So YES I AM THE ONE.
Such a beautiful reminder that the gorgeous beautiful person in the mirror is the one! How many times have I looked outside of myself for the love that I desired and ended up so disappointed and in neediness.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” And what an art to master Alison, retraining ourselves to attend to and cherish the quality of love and lightness we are innately made of and dismiss everything else that does not equal this gorgeous quality. It is most definitely a work in progress as my attention wanders so easily, but day by day, year by year it is slowly changing and these days I am amazed at how much easier it is to stay with my lovely lightness and avoid getting stuck in the ‘heavy weather’ moods of days gone by.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” This was how I used to view love too, something to be given and received. I never fathomed that it was a choice “to be, or not to be!” When we connect to the love inside of ourselves there is no need to look for it on the outside, as in the discovery we find that it is a deep, endless well that never runs out.
‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’
I love this line. It’s been a revelation to feel I can be love and observe what’s not love and no longer allow it in just through giving it no more attention. So different to an old habit of seeing what’s not love in my life, jump into the thick of it, think I was it and panic that I had to somehow get rid of it, that I was unpure until I was 100% pure and beat myself in the process!
Alison, such an astute blog, you really expose the game of love we play, when you speak of expecting love to fall away and riding those times of connection for all you’re worth, I could very much relate. For me, there’s been that bittersweet feeling I’ve often felt, even when feeling connected to another that I’m forever wary waiting for it to end and wondering what then, and now reading your blog today I can feel how that actually undermined any connection I had at all, as I was always waiting for the inevitable end. Of course it was and is (when I still do it), a way of protection and yet in that protection I cut myself off from my own love and so everyone looses including me. Now I’m learning that love is something we all hold, and can be expressed in any moment, there is no need and it’s limitless and is not dependent on having another person with you, this love is in us and when we’re connected to it, it’s naturally to share, and there is joy in this, but that sharing is not a need, it’s a spontaneous expression of the bursting love we are and have. So slowly I’m learning to live this more and it is changing my life and how I am with myself and people, it’s magic.
This is the best explanation of love I have ever read “an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care” and it can be felt that you know deep in your body what this truly means. It’s not just words.
Much of my life has been spent focussing on the what is not love. When I do this, that is all I see and the world is not a nice place. If I make a choice to see and feel what is love, it is amazing how much it surrounds me and is within me.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” This was huge for me Alison when I first had this presented to me. I felt the truth in that we can’t have love unless we are love, and that this comes first from and to ourselves. I had all of these romantic and idealised feelings of what love is without having any true sense of love for myself. This has changed massively for me and I now have a depth and quality of self love that is reflected in all my relationships.
Beautiful blog Alison. When we shift the focus from seeking love to being love, life changes.
It is absolutely time to give ourselves the appreciation we truly are 100% entitled to. This is what I’ve re-connected to that supports the love that I am. What comes from seeking to replace this truth with acknowledgment from external sources i.e. other people bet it romance or recognition for doing anything, brings the outcomes of unsettled, stressed, dissatisfied, unwell and lonely people that we see and know trying to make it through the day. If everyone stays with their own connection to their own love every moment of the day humanity would be vibrating in harmony not trembling in nervous tension.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ Until reading your blog I didn’t realise that this is what I used to think as well! That love is something you give and receive but I now understand with thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, the truth is this could not be further away from the truth! And as you share love is not given or received at all but something we embody and love .. that it is up to us to choose to be love and live this in all that we do. However, writing this now I can still feel and see that I am holding on to an ill belief or ideal that we can give and receive love.
That we have fallen for seeking love outside ourselves, ie. in and through another person (or animals) is proof of how much we have lost a sense for who we are. Realizing that we have the source of love deep inside us is in our Inner Heart is like waking up out of a dream where we have gone lost and found back home again.
Love in the common sense of being an affection or emotion in opposite to hate, anger or else is no love at all. Such emotional version is so diluted that nearly nothing of its divine origin is preserved.
Love and its meaning are definitely one of the most distorted things we have come up with when we reduced it to be less than the beingness and presence it divinely is. To restore the true meaning of love is essential to knowing who we truly are.
How many nights have started with thoughts about what I haven’t achieved during the past day? It’s so easy to be swept away by this tsunami of pattern, whole societies have bought into it. But in truth I’m made of rock-solid love that doesn’t even move when a tsunami hits. Starting to feel this is the most precious gift I give to myself.
When we realise we are the One we have been searching for, it dispels all the needyness of looking for the right one, and we can start to truly focus on a relationship with ourselves first.
Reading your blog again today Alison, I become aware of the gratitude that I am feeling for the confirmation of something that I have recently realised for myself – that I can be all of me right now if I choose, so why am I delaying, and making choices to not live in the fullness of me? Many things come to mind, including stubbornness, wanting to hide and fit in, lack of responsibility… but when we are connected to the power that we all hold inside of ourselves none of these things exist, it’s crazy therefore that we let these perceived notions get in the way of connecting to our inner heart which then gives us access to all the wisdom and love that we could ever want a thousand fold.
You write…”This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person”, this so reminded me of me when I was growing up, it’s a good job at the age of 57 I have decided to finally grow up!
Alison such pure unassuming truth. Glorious to feel.
Alison, this is a great article, I love what you present, that we are ‘the one’, so there is no need to search for anyone to have love, we can consistently love ourselves.
Once I connected to the fact that I am The One, it’s almost unbelievable how hard I’ve tried, and we are trying, to deny deny the fact that we are indeed The One. It’s very Precious to be The One, yet also extremely normal and natural at the same time. For me it’s learning to be consistent in connecting to the Love that I am. For a long time I was striving to reach a certain point, a picture in my mind. A lot of the time I can still fall back into this old pattern, yet I know now that this isn’t the Truth. There’s only one thing ‘to do’, which is surrendering to the Love I am and follow the impulses that are given.
“Love being at the core of every single person” is often a difficult thing to see, there are so many behaviours that block our view of this fact, yet what I see so often is behaviour that is a protection in myself and others. We have all grown up with a different version of love and the barrier has gone up, that fear of getting hurt that stops us presenting all of us as we are. Little behaviour changes can make a difference, the more I accept myself as fully loving the more I also see this love in others.
We are the One, and when in connection to who we are we realise that we are all an equally integral part of One-ness we all are from, Love.
I love this. I totally grew up with the same love-hurts perception and in my surroundings everybody was just focusing on the select few, missing out on everybody else. There was such an isolation and encapsulation putting blood family on the top and if you dare to love somebody more outside of that, for if it’s not your partner, the only accepted one…all emotional love at its highest. I still free me from these concepts and finding a new way back to my blood family where I too give myself space instead of, as I did in the past, not speaking up, giving up and just adapt…replacing love through recognition and replacing being-me through doing…reading others comforts and pleasing pleasing pleasing. No more, yes it still happens, BUT I am aware of it and name it and give myself the love and understanding and space to understand and let go the judgment and self-bashing that I am so used to…so much criticism. Learning to appreciate myself and coming from there I know this is it…and I honor every baby step taken from there. I love to connect with all people and share me with them….there are no strangers. Thank you for expressing that it’s about self-care and self-love and the more we care and love ourselves the more we can let go of the needy part and enjoy ourselves, may it be on our own company or together with others.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” This is so true as I know when I start expressing what appreciation I hold for myself the ‘what is not’ just melts away.
No one else can do the job of loving me for me. These words bring it all home. The challenge is perhaps in accepting the choices made that have been without self-love, and knowing that they were not made from the true you, but were maybe in reaction. Then the work can begin in letting go of those old hurts and watching yourself blossom under the light of transformation that opens out from your own ever-loving inner-heart.
This is so beautiful and true Alison and from meeting Serge Benhayon too the understanding of love being an energy we embody from within ourselves developed from building a foundation of self love and care and not something you search for in giving and receiving changes everything. Connection with oneself and hence everyone else from love is a very beautiful way to live life.
The false interpretations of love have tainted my constant personal drive of finding the one true love during my whole life. The exhaustion I felt in this never ending and never fulfilling pursuit has come to my awareness when I was presented with the universal fact that I only can be love and that I don’t have to look for love. Since peeling of the layers of all those false beliefs and being in the process of deepening my relationship with myself I can feel that love is all around me and that the love I feel around me is the reflection of the love I am and I am willing to live.
I never really thought about it but there are so many different versions of love in the what is not, untrue or in the illusion that life is, but only one version that is true in the what is.
That false image that “love hurts” really stood out for me while re-reading your blog today Alison. Yes we are used to saying that love hurts but allowing that image into our lives takes us away from the opportunity to truly connect to the love that resides in us and always will be there, no matter what is happening outside of us. That love will never hurt us, it is actually the fact that we are disconnected from this love that is the cause of all our hurts. Living in disconnection with that original source we come from hurts to the bones, but we are ignorant to that fact and instead have created the ‘love hurts’ story and in that keeping ourselves from truly connecting to the love that we miss so much.
Yes this is a huge point Nico – I was very comfortable to blame love and emotion for my hurts when in truth it was a case of me not speaking up, not wanting to see the truth of the situation, and not wanting to see love as it naturally is, a holding that can never hurt us. Yet we invest so much in this idea of heartache and unrequited love – but it is all to keep us from knowing that love truly is.
Beautifully expressed Nico. Everything in the culture around us – in music, movies, TV etc perpetuates the un-truth that love hurts when it’s the one thing that doesn’t. This image of the wounded, broken heart just holds us back from really letting people in for fear of one day losing it – when in fact love can never be lost because it is the essence of who we are.
Well said, Alison. When we consider how big Love truly is and that we are that also, all the “what is not’s” pale into insignificance. How much unnecessary angst and woe are caught up in the expectations of what we perceive love is and is not, of whether it is enough or if it will last? Realising that it’s always down to me and my relationship with Love that returns me to a true connection, enables all my other relationships to follow suit.
Serge Benhayon is also the first person who presented to me that love is an energy that is equal in each and every one of us and the way to access this love is to come to know it in ourselves first of all. When we have connected with and feel the love for ourselves, then it is easy to feel this with others. The love that we feel for others is not then laced with a neediness, but it is true in that it is a beholding of another in equalness.
Yes Donna, and what’s important in this teaching too is that we are all worthy of absolute love and care; no one is ‘more deserving’ or ‘more creditable’ of love, and we all have access to it as it can be developed in our relationship with ourselves.
Donna that was also my experience, that first we connect and allow the love within ourself to be built before we are able to hold another in love. Yet before meeting Serge Benhayon I was convinced that even if I was loveless with myself I could love another.
What if we considered all of life, from the starting point that we are all one? That the idea that we are separate disconnected individuals is just a surface picture, designed to distract and delay us from remembering our true power? How would our every moment, thought and day be different? You make it clear Alison that we have life inside out with our current insular ways. I’m grateful we are so wise as to have written this awesome blog, and the many comments above. Wow – we are awesome.
What Serge Benhayon presents brings ‘love’ to an amazing level of understanding. My understanding of love is that it combines many words to give a true representation or definition so there is no lies or reinterpretation, which would make love a lie, or the truth is that love is usually a concoction of ideals or a basic lie (conditional love).
Taking responsibility to be all the love we seek in others is nothing short of life changing. Once the significance of this is felt and lived, it affects the many around us. We no longer have expectations, need, control and want from others as the hole we try to fill with another’s love is filled by our own grandness.
Your blog is beautiful in showing were true love begins, and how ‘the one’ has an important job in what it reflects. Thank goodness the search is over….I’ve found the one.
True love asks nothing of us, there is no ‘need’ or emotion attached to it. Love is an expression of the truth we are.
I love this Alison, it’s very timely for me and where I have come to in a relationship with another. The end result of many days of discussion and uncomfortable-ness between us, we came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with the others downfall, it all had to do with the lack of love that ‘the one’ was receiving.
That’s awesome Kim. How gorgeous that you both came to this conclusion and what and incredible foundation for your relationship going forward.
Yes Ali, we are all the one’s we have been searching for and we are all of the One.
It is great to question the belief or idea that love is something we ‘do’, that we ‘find’ or get from another outside of us.
In truth we are love, our essence is love and reconnecting with that love is the most precious relationship we will ever have.
I love this line – it “is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me”. This pearler can deliver so much if the reader chooses to hear what is being offered. This is one of the core things I have really taken on from listening to Serge Benhayon that you cannot outsource love – it is your responsibility to bring it to yourself and really that you actually are LOVE. It is an energy that emanates from us, equally for all – and it is our responsibility to be it and live it. Just for you.
‘You cannot outsource love..’ Nope, we certainly cannot. But we can nurture it, activate it and build it deeper and deeper, warmer and warmer from the inner hearth we have within. All right there within us, no assessment, ticketing or any vetting needed. Just acceptance of the love we innately are.
Looking outside of ourselves for love will always fall short as we will be forever searching for something that is there from the get go. Loving ourselves in full is the way forward and offers us ongoing appreciation and expansion. Appreciating the details of our life and our presence in all that we do is the foundation for all relationships.
What a beautiful explanation of Love ! So many of us, certainly myself, have been misled to think it was something else in the past and it has caused so much misery and all the while it was a false understanding of the true nature of Love. If only they would make movies with this kind of love so everyone could be re-educated. Thankyou Alison, this is an inspiration. Here’s to looking in the mirror!
I agree Marika. Through developing a relationship with loving who I am, I have discovered that there is an ever-deepening greatness of Love always waiting, embracing and guiding me to know what it true and what is not.
Thank you Alison I loved your sharing, yes we are the one looking back at us in the mirror, no one but us can give us the love that we have been looking for, for we are love and come from love.
Very beautiful Alison. There is always so much more to appreciate of who we actually are than there is of who we are not, and so there is always more joy to be explored, experienced and lived. When we focus on who we are not we are focusing on what is not real and we then lose sense of who we are. In deepening our relationship with ourselves, Love we are, we discover it is this connection that makes absolute sense, of everything, and feels complete with a joy that is unsurpassed. We then realise that there is nothing that can compare to the Love that is lived from within, from who we truly are.
Thank you Carola for that gorgeous reminder — when we focus on the negative we’re putting energy into something that isn’t true, and yet through our energy and focus we make it have a reality. And so in a distorted reality we then live. When we focus on the truth of who we are, and nurture the love that is within. Instead of created issues we have space, within and without, and even with commotion and a lot happening all around us, we can remain in this glorious and still space with ourselves and with everything that comes to us.
This is so true, it is time. To look in the mirror and see who we are. No need to look anywhere else.
Alison, this blog is an absolute gem – thank you so much for sharing your simple, super clear and relatable experience of the truth of what love is all about. What a relief to drop the impossible-to-fulfill search for “the one” outside of ourselves, and all the emotional turmoil that comes with it, and instead get real, pull up our socks and simply commit to choosing to build a loving relationship with ourselves – the love we wanted all along, that no-one outside of ourselves could actually give us.
Love your no nonsense response, Hannah, highlighting how much wasted opportunity there has been in searching for love in all the wrong places. Imagine if all that time was spent caring for and nurturing ourselves.
Thank you Hannah! Yes what a relief it is to realise we are and always have been ‘the one’. It’s time to call of the search party and just enjoy being with ourselves. Ahh….how much better does that feel? 😉
Gorgeous Hannah, a relief and the glory of rediscovering what we’ve always been looking for literally right under our noses. And so crazy to consider that for such a long time we have been looking elsewhere, never finding what we’re really looking for.
Beautifully said Hannah. We all crave feeling love and we all know it comes when we treat ourselves as such consistently.
Great point Susan – what a set up! Feels awful that we would replace love with recognition as the next best thing simply because we have not stopped to connect to the love we are within.
You certainly challenge all the concepts that most of us have grown up with and are surrounded by in that search for love outside of ourselves which comes from a need. The way you explain love allows us to feel the simplicity and ease we can find when we focus on our attributes – and as we focus on them and maintain more of a connection to what we all hold within in our essence we undoubtedly return to who we truly are.
And the beautiful thing I’ve discovered is that when we connect to the love and the innate qualities within, the qualities and attributes on the outside naturally begin to expand and emanate this same quality.
That is truly magical Angela – even the word ‘expansion’ allows us to feel that there is a quality, power and a beauty that this words expresses and hence enriches our lives.
The idea that love is something outside of ourselves and something that we can only get from another can lead us in an endless search, and one that is not fulfilled for long! Thank you for bringing us back to what love is – something that we all are equally and something that we need only look in the mirror to find 🙂
This is exactly what we do, we even try to convince ourselves that love is an action or a gesture regardless of the quality that gesture comes from.
Everything from the moment we are born tells us ‘love hurts’. Every song, every lyric, poetry, books, photographs, the way people interact… it hits us from every angle and it is simply not true.
Love never hurts us. We are made of love. It’s our disconnection from love that is sheer agony.
Beautiful Alison. EveryONE is the ONE.
What you present here Alison is the responsibility each one of us have for being the love we innately are.
All the seeking outside of us for Mr or Mrs right is an easy way to blame others for our loveless relationships and just a distraction to take us away from being responsible for love in our lives.
This all makes so much sense Alison… how can anyone else possibly love us the way we want to be loved? We are the experts of the love within us.
This is a beauty-full ending Alison… ‘Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” How gorgeous to see and feel that love looking straight back at us 🙂
Accepting that we are truly our own ‘one and only’ is such a deliciously revolutionary concept – I love it!
Love it, we are our own ‘one and only’. I feel it is time for some new and true movies about love….
Mariette that would be amazing! How often I was hooked on films depicting will they get together and live happily ever after?! How amazing to see films which don’t invite a feeling of longing for the one but confirm we are all the one.
I’d go see them, Mariette 🙂
Alison, it has been an absolute joy to see your love for all develop and deepen as you have come to this understanding of what true love is. Your reflection of love is an absolute gift to humanity.
Yes Donna, so true. It is through our connection to the Love we are that we bring forth for all to see and know a true reflection of what Love is.
True love has no ups and down, it is a steadiness that is there regardless of the situation and it never goes away.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” The ‘everything else’ is there prompting us to forget that we are love. To choose to see and appreciate the ‘what is’ all around us, reminds us that we are in fact, that very same love.
It is never love that hurts, but the separation from love that kills us.
And returning to the love we are is absolute, love is within all of us.
Yes Adam, the separation from love is root cause of all the evil that exists in our world.
Nothing short of a miracle to be able to express so boldly that, YES, we are THE Ones.
Treasure indeed Elizabeth, to be in connection to the love I am within is beyond measure and by reflection it is multiplied,and the joy is felt deeply.
The world is filled with images of what we could or should be – here we are divinely empowered to know we are everything already.
This is a blog I feel everyone on the planet needs to read as it takes us to the absolute fundamentals. ‘full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’ This is something that we need to be teaching our children from very young and something that every adult needs to know.
Absolutely agree michelle819, this blog outlines the basics for living life and each and every person deserves to have access to this simple, practical wisdom. No self-help books, no trawling the internet for “answers”, for when you take responsibility and make that commitment to yourself, there is a steadiness that comes from deep within that is with you equally through any storm, as it is when the sun breaks through the clouds and lights your way.
Michelle, that sentence resonated and jumped off the page as an absolute key to relationships. It’s a wonderful revelation but one I was completely blind to until I started to explore what loving me is – “full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.” Kerpow!
I love how you’ve expressed this Elizabeth, this is what we are here to do. To fully express the love that we are.
There is a cartoonist that pens ‘Love is’ and is all about giving or receiving love from another! We are the ONE that we can spend a lifetime searching for. We have all lost something or had a problem we could not solve, the harder we try the more elusive it becomes but when we stop and step back clarity comes.
I just noticed when reading your comment Steve, that the answer is given to us in the word.. as in “having a problem we could not ‘solve’ “, and there lies the answer – Love.
Beautifully shared and expressed Alison — the world constantly tells us love is found outside of us and that love actually hurts. And hence the enormous rollercoasters of emotion, stress and pain that we go on. We set ourselves up. Love can never hurt, love is actually who we are, and it is the missing of this knowing and trying to find it where we can never find it that hurts us hugely. Falling in love with ourselves, with the simplicity yet stupendousness of who we are, is what we all earn for, our own warm, enormous ocean of love.
Thank you, Alison, for clarifying that only we are “the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” The search is over when we finally accept and love ourselves.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Daily i find quotes & comments from these Universal Medicine blogs sites that stay with me, for I can feel the deep confirmation they bring and the appreciation they inspire – thank-you Alison, Yes, we are the ones.
“Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?” Yes Alison, Love is the being, the knowing that we are everything already.
Thank you for exposing so clearly the shallowness and yo-yo rhythm of conditional love while through re-connecting to loving ourselves we find love we are all looking for.
“I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.”. I’ve run away from this Truth nearly all my life to avoid accepting that I’m a feeling person and Love. Due to the disconnection I came to belief that this was me, but now I see and feel inside my own body how Loving I indeed am. There’s still lots of times that I react to something outside of me, but that’s not taking away the fact that I’m innately loving. And that there’s absolutely only one who can choose to be with himself or not… And that’s me.
We can spend our whole lives long searching for the one who will love us! “Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” I agree that it is time, for if we don’t love ourselves deeply first then why is there an expectation that someone else can fill the gap for us? When we tap into the love we hold within its quite startling to realise the enormity of it.
Hello Rachel, I agree and this goes across the board for “it is time, for if we don’t love ourselves deeply first then why is there an expectation that someone else can fill the gap for us?” We are consistently looking for someone else to ‘do the work’ when truly it is always and forever for us. Any “gap” we see or feel is for us to fill, this is very personal and goes into the detail of how you feel and live. So we may dedicate and focus on the bigger things but the detail is now the key.
Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed. This paragraph is an absolute gem, is pure wisdom!
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be”- Yes, Alison, I was brought up believing love was something you locked for outside of yourself- in someone else to fill your emptiness; or that it was shown by doing for others before yourself-eg being the “good catholic girl”- all images and beliefs which have kept me so separate from feeling the essence of who I am, and what I bring.
Acceptance and appreciation of self is so important and the foundation required before building a true relationship with others.
I’ve also found this to be true, yet it was not what I was taught growing up. There it was about other people first, no wonder so many of us feel
confused and on a constant search for what is missing in life, we’ve not built a strong connection with ourselves.
Alison what you have written makes so much sense , to learn to understand that the love comes from the inside and not from the emotional love ,with its images ,demands etc from the outside that doesn’t hold steady or stay with us. By developing our relationship with self and learning to love and appreciate ourselves is definitely the way back to love I feel . This article has made me understand the importance of developing that foundation in our selves more and more .
Alison, this is a great and glorious call back to truth, for in-truth we are the many who are One – one light, one love, one breath. As such we are each the mirror for another and the quality of that which we reflect will depend on the quality of that which we choose to live. Do we choose to live the enormity of the love that we are or, do we choose to live everything else but this?
Beautifully expressed Liane… “..for in-truth we are the many who are One – one light, one love, one breath. As such we are each the mirror for another and the quality of that which we reflect will depend on the quality of that which we choose to live.” Very touching and inspirational to read… ‘we are the many who are the One” and in this there is no separation, no differences – we are all equally ‘the One’.
We each have a choice to be The One or, the one who thwarts this. In One, all are held equal for all are seen and known for the love that they are. The one who seeks to thwart this is the one who runs from this love and in this bolt will look outwards for what it knows it will never find. It is the perfect decoy/delay for a wayward spirit that refuses to return to the one unifying light of the Soul for fear of the dissolution of the tiny self into the All that we are seeded from.
I agree Liane. We can only delay for so long as the truth is there waiting to be known – we all will return.The question is how much time are we prepared to waste?
And step one in ending this game is to first admit we are playing one.
Love this Alison. It was so gorgeous to read and such a needed reminder. “all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come” I can so relate to that. But how awesome appreciating what we bring and how gorgeous we are- confirming ourselves and not being afraid of falling out of love. Cause we are love.
To know we are the ONE for God is all in all.
I love what you have shared here … It’s so true ‘Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’
I have come to know that love and appreciation begins with connecting with the love within myself first before I can truly love and feel love reflected in other people and I’m becoming aware that I can also feel love is in fact everywhere, but it’s not possible to feel that if we don’t return to the love within ourselves first.
‘I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life’ – Claiming this feels amazing and the energetic responsibility we all have to make this our way feels profound. We all have a choice whether to sellout to the world or to know the truth that love is already within, for that is who we are – thanks Alison.
It does feel amazing Christine, its the best relationship ever, when we step into the energetic responsibility and simplicity in this life, knowing we are here to reflect our truth and glory to humanity as the ONE.
Last year I undertook an experiment of writing down how my body felt, and what was amazing was even if I was having an off day or in pain, underneath all of that was a physical felt sense of sweetness, expansion that I felt was my essence and everyday it was there exactly the same. It totally changed my life as I grew in confidence of who I truly am, love.
How beautiful Vanessa, and confirming of the love we are. Love never leaves us, although we at times may forget or disconnect from it.
I love this Vanessa, thanks for sharing. This is something I feel would be life changing for me.
Vanessa you have proved that underneath lies the access to our true selves, the rest is a result of not choosing to live this 24/7. Having felt this consistent loving support, it then supports us to trust we are the ONE and live it consistently. Great to have such a beautiful relationship of love with yourself.
A beautifully simple debunking of the myth of romantic love and why it can so often disappoint when we don’t appreciate the emptiness we’re trying to fill and the love we already are.
It is amazing how allowing love within ourselves to be felt opens up the way for new, deeply loving relationships
It really is Carmel – who would have thought that by loving your self you would attract the beautiful elections of your own love back to you. Actually The science of reflection is an amazing founding principle for all aspects of life.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be” – this is the biggest lie we have ever been sold resulting in the most unimaginably detrimental consequences to humanity. It is great and inspiring that you have freed yourself from this illusion Alison and can share this for others to know the truth as well.
I was just about to comment myself on that exact line jeanettegold, I so agree, that this is a lie we have been sold. That love is all about what you do, what you say, how much you give to someone or not give. That it is something external to you, that it doesn’t start from within you. When in truth love is within us all, it is about us reconnecting back to that in any given moment.
Love is an energy that runs through us, that connects us, that is the true fabric of what we are made of. All else is a cover up.
Yes Jeanette. We have all bought into this lie and we have all suffered much misery as a result. Being empowered in the knowing that we are already all the love we could ever need to be and all we have to do is choose to apply some to ourselves and let it grow so that it is applied in every way, every day changes the perception of life and trust in humanity.
Yes Jeannette the consequences of this lie are huge -people misguidedly vying for God’s love through war and terrorism, people accepting any semblance of love no matter if it comes with abuse. The devastation this lie brings cannot be underestimated, nor it’s prevalence.
This lie isn’t ever addressed in society, nor the fact that when someone truly loves themselves they could never harm another. This isn’t featured in political rhetoric. No mention of it in the ‘war on terror’ . No call for basic respect for one another whoever they are; no call for the understanding of another whilst understanding one can say no to abuse. The lovelessness in life stems from people not living being the love that they are. That people are sold and buy the lie, love is found only outside ourselves, impedes our return to love. So huge appreciation to all those who commit to living the love that they are and thus, expose this as a lie.
” Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” This is the most beautiful thing I have read and am really learning to do this more and more for myself everyday at the moment and it really does feel beautiful and allows for a deep contentment and love to be felt inside.
Yes it is time Alison, high time we brought our attention home to ourselves and the reflection in bathroom mirror and begin to appreciate and love ourselves, to embody a quality that lies in all of us, even though for some like myself it felt very dormant and discover just how awesomely loving we are. Thank you for bringing our attention back to the One we need to cherish most. Contrary to popular belief this is not a bad, selfish or narcissistic activity, it is a vital component of re-establishing our self awareness and our tender, nurturing nature that once awakened and claimed, becomes our normal ‘modus operandi’ that we apply to everyone, self and others alike without question.
Searching out there when the gold is inside of us. Absurd isn’t it?
Thank you Alison this is such a beautiful blog that says everything in such an all encompassing way. Focusing on the what is love rather than the what is not ie everything else is so confirming of who we are. It is thanks to Universal Medicine that this is offered to us and all makes sense and simply offers us changes in all of life and how we live it bringing us back to connect to the love we innately are and to appreciate and embody it for ourselves first and from this with everyone.
I love your sharing, Alison. A great call to bring focus to the one staring back at you in the mirror in a loving way.
You present a simple truth I like to come back to often. The fact that we can not offer love to another without equally allowing ourselves to feel it from within.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” Becoming aware of this choice is a game-changer.
Realising that I and I alone am responsible for discovering the love within, living that and not expecting anyone else to do that for me or provide the love I may not be feeling is radical and is life-changing and flies in the face of what we have been brought up to believe.
It sure is life changing Josephine – to drop that expectation of another to deliver that ‘love’ to us is a total game changer and makes me wonder why this is not the norm.
Absolutely Josephine, that realisation is powerful and blows many myths that abound around love right out of the water.
Thanks Alison and before teaming up with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon my life was a mess. I didn’t know up from down and my focus was on getting to the end of the working day and getting to the end of the week, only to feel down when I had to start the day again. Life was a rollercoaster alright and one that I had bought a never ending ticket too. I am blessed to not be sitting on the rollercoaster any more and in fact I’ve left the whole theme park. My life has more understanding, for myself and then everyone.
Great comment Ray… “I am blessed to not be sitting on the roller coaster any more and in fact I’ve left the whole theme park.” Love it! and so true… once you’ve stepped off the roller coaster there’s no going back.
Thank you Paula I agree and note that this is an ongoing relationship. In other words I say I have left the theme park and while this is true I am still dealing with the advertisements tempting me back to the ticket booth. In more words just because you have master the larger things doesn’t mean you pack up your swag and go holidaying. This process is ongoing and now it’s time to master the detail.
So true and so important what you say here Ray, there is no “happy pill” or the solution or right technique that brings as the living happily forever after…. this is the biggest illusion humanity lives in, believing to have to go somewhere to make ourselves better and to achieve the highest goods in life……. leaving the theme park is taking responsibility and walking the path of true evolution, being the forever student in an universal order that is already everything.
And on another note we are all constantly “dealing with the advertisements tempting us back to the ticket booth” and we have fallen for it over and over again. There is nothing that will take away the ticket booth, on the contrary they are growing better and more tempting. It is our responsibility to understand how we have been and are played with and choose differently besides of all that is offered. Learning to feel truth and living it is what makes the ticket booth fade as we are undoing the images we have been sold forever.
I too know intimately the theme park you speak of Ray, I had taken residency there up until the day it dawned on me the rides I was investing in were as good as being played like a puppet in a very sad pantomime. It was from then I began my gradual trek back to my true home, with deepest love and thanks to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for lighting the way.
We have been so conditioned to thinking that love is something that we earn from others and that we give it out here and there according to how close we are willing to be with the other person that the understanding that we ARE love already never occurs to us. How easily we are able to be manipulated in these circumstances! Alison, your blog delightfully challenges this style of thinking and the more people are willing to consider that love is always right there within, the greater the opportunity to understand themselves from a perspective of beauty, grace and power rather than as lacking and deficient. Thank you!
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”. I was just focussing on my feel when I read this line for the second time. I am actually realising how lovely my body is. But I can only feel that when I choose to be connected to it. There’s no one else who can do that for me! Isn’t that actually obvious. And as I’ve been running away from my body for most of my life, it needs a firm choice over and over again to connect to my body. And in doing so I am feeling more and more of the Beauty inside and is the Body revealing more and more to me. In this example with my feet for example. They might be cold at times, or hard. But that’s not who they are. They are extremely Tender and Joyful and whenever I Truly am with my feet, I feel very confident! Feeling confident and being connected to my feet, in fact one and the same! How simple, yet profound is this.
Beautiful, Alison. The endless pursuit for unconditional love outside of ourselves is exposed once and for all in its futility with this cracker of a blog.
There is so much shared on this blog Alison, that the love we search and crave from others has to come from us first is the nugget that is fundamental to me. The neediness of that love coming from another is so normal but actually a complete cop out as well! Caring, nurturing and loving ourselves so we can know how to be that with another person should be the first thing we learn, I feel like I am forever learning the depths of what that means.
It is interesting how we wait for love to hurt us, it is as if we are only willing to accept so much and then try to bring in things to sabotage the relationship. What you bring in your blog Alison is that unless we love ourselves first we can’t sustain a loving relationship with another. Looking back over my relationships I can see this is what I have done, not fully trusting the relationship because there was a lack of love and trust within myself first.
I can relate alisonmoir, from my experience no relationship can be truly sustained in love if we don’t hold ourselves first and foremost in love. We want the other to fill us up, warm those places within that we have left cold. That can never be though, it’s only the inner hearth that can warm us up with a love that does;t below to us individually, it is a universal love we all have equally and that we all have unequal responsibility to nurture and express. This is what underpins humanity’s woes and what will define humanity’s future.
Similarly for me too Alison, with the start of every new relationship the same story would run, that of needing proof of ‘their’ love for me, of course it would never come as I had no foundation of it for myself to begin with.
This is a big one: “And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” Thinking that the greatest love we can have in life will be coming from someone outside of us does indeed take us away from knowing that the grandest love is within us. It was never meant to be about someone outside of us when we felt the lack of love but about connecting with the love within us.
“Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life. Things would feel great when I was getting the attention, acceptance and recognition I was seeking, but when it inevitably dried up, I was faced with the saddening reality of how I truly felt about myself – that I never felt quite good enough no matter how much I seemingly ‘succeeded’ in life.” I can absolutely relate to this one Alison – it’s like an addiction that needs a fix the moment the attention, love or affection is taken away and quite ridiculous when we come to realise that what we’re looking for is already within us – we’ve just allowed ourselves to be fooled into thinking otherwise.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” I love the way this helps make sense of the fact that we are worth loving as we are always the one with ourself having access to feel who we truly are and therefore feel everyone else – simple. Thank you.
When we have that love for ourselves from deep within the searching for it from the outside ceases.
Love the mirror image. how many hours and hours of books, songs, letters have been written about gazing in to the eyes of another…when all along, we should be gazing in to the eyes of ourselves first!
We use the same word love for various emotional entanglements. Yet are any of these true? They may feel real, but are they true?
Looking in the mirror and loving who you see for who you truly are – not for what you look like has to be the foundation of love. Otherwise what are we taking out into the world? And are we kidding ourselves if we think we can love another but not ouself first?
Love this Alison…”Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE…” Golden words showing us that self love is where relationships all begin.
This is true so why do we continue to subscribe to living a lie? There is another way, a way that is true, that supports us to be the glorious beings we actually are.
When we begin to live the love that we are we realise we never had to chase it in the first place.
To understand that love does not come from outside ourselves is a revelation in itself! We have incredible power to change our lives by first simply loving ourselves deeply and without reservation and when this love extended to all others the magic happens.
Alison a fantastic article that makes complete sense, when you talk about the concept some carry of “love hurts” it struck a cord and reminded me of how I used to perceive love. It’s quite staggering that before Universal Medicine my understanding of Love was the complete opposite. Furthermore the very fact that I didn’t consider I was the one, has been turned on its head.
Alison this is GOLD… the relationship we have been looking for all our lives is actually the one with ourselves! To know we are THE ONE, was one of the greatest revelations of this life for me… it changes everything, in particular what I looked for (and found) in relationships.
This is quite a revelation. To know we have been waiting or looking for The One, and that person has been staring back at us in the mirror all along.
Yes Annie, it is revelation, and so simple I think most reject it outright and continue to pursue the ‘answer’ out there.
A lot of people spend most of their life looking for the “one” when all along the “one” is right there with them, because the truth is we are the “one”. What a lot of complication we put ourselves through when we don’t need to.
So true Elizabeth, ‘A lot of people spend most of their life looking for the “one” when all along the “one” is right there with them’, I spent many years looking for the ‘one’ outside of myself, thinking that when I found ‘the one’ that everything would then be great, that finding this other person would get rid of all of my issues and i would live happily ever after, i spent probably 15 years on this search, now I know that I am ‘the one’ and I feel very content and complete with no need to search for anyone or anything, i have instead been deepening my relationship with me.
I agree Alison, it is definitely time for us to stop looking outside of ourselves for answers and focus on the riches that lay with us.
Once we stop waiting for the world to love us before we take down the protection that we carry, we will be truly whole, loving and courageous beings.
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care”. So wise and true Alison and as you say it is our choice whether we choose what is love or we choose what is not love.
To see that we are indeed the “ONE” is a great start to realising the only person who can love us unconditionally is ourselves. To ask anyone else to fulfil our need for love solely is impossible! We cannot reasonably expect anyone to do this to the exclusion of everyone else. Love is for all equally so and this is one of the big insights we need to grasp for our lives to flow.
Great blog Alison, I love how clear you make it that we hold our own love within, and it is our choice to connect to that love first, before we make any choices.
There are times I still look for love outside myself or the confirmation that I am love, not in the obvious places such as from other people, it can be in anything such as a sign, it’s in these times I know my body is asking me to stop, and deepen the love I am with myself.
Love is simple.
“the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me,” I would say this is a huge factor in everybody’s life, for if we have that rock solid, steady love, deep care and support within and for ourselves, then we can stand steady no matter what the weather – like a lighthouse at sea.
‘The only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me’ – This is a powerful realisation and statement, Alison. So many of us are caught in the trap that love is something ‘given’ or expressed to us by OTHER people, and thus if we do not have relationships that are loving or supportive (which is the case in many, many relationships) then we are stuck, destined to have no love in our life. What you’ve shared is the importance of having a deep, true connection with ourselves so that we can love OURSELVES and appreciate the incredible relationship we have with ourselves first and foremost before looking outside for anything.
Absolutely Susie W. We are sold, and wilfully pursue, this whole notion of the special one. That magic person who can give us love and to whom we can give love. In fact we are so signed up to this ideal that often the reaction to the notion of self-love and self-appreciation can be one of selfishness, self-obsession, egotistic etc….It’s crazy – that we are so actively walking away from the deepest and truest well of love, all of which is already inside of us – patiently waiting for the day when we choose to look in the mirror – at OURSELVES.
Thanks Susie and this is so so true. It makes complete sense and is so simple when you look at ‘love’ like this and it can be like a dog chasing their tail otherwise. If you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places then it’s time to turn within or back to yourself and start to love there.
Wise words Susie W, there is a huge consciousness around love, how it should look, what it should feel like, then when those expectations are not met, we go into reaction and we shut down feeling what is there to be felt. It is not a good feeling when this happens. Complication, emotion and dismissiveness is what comes in. Coming back to oneself and the love that we know we are is the only way back, the antidote so to speak, when all those other energies do enter, trusting that love for ourselves first and that connection is key.
Absolutely Raegan, and these ingrained expectations could mean that when true love does present itself as an opportunity in the form of a relationship or friendship, we contract away because it’s ‘not it’ according to our ideals.
Love has such a grip over us, we go in search of it but Alison explains brilliantly that it is there within us all along. Love I am learning is found in every action I choose to make, and that strengthens my understanding of what love is. No more getting caught in the whirlwind of emotional love and that search for another to make me happy.
What has a grip over is what we think is love but is actually just a bastardised version of it. True love never leaves, how can it when it is who we are?
I feel a big reason to why many of us can’t accept being more than we think we are is because we have an image of what the one looks like. Once this image is dropped and we allow what is simply there to be we might be surprised that yes we are the one.
Yes Luke and I know when you have that feeling that something isn’t right that I need to stop and have a look at it or at least ask the question of what’s going on. So often and as you say the ‘image’ will keep leading us away from simply stopping. The only place life makes sense is looking from the inside out, if we chase images outside then you seem to be forever on the run.
Agree and the greatest images are the behaviours we enact. That give us the justification to label ourselves however we see fit. When in reality they are just an image we have chosen to adopt.
Great point Luke – if we have an ideal, belief or picture about what ‘the one’ should look like, how they should behave or any myriad of things that they ‘should be’ then that gets in the way of us connecting with the essence and love in all of us that reveals that we are in fact All ‘the one’.
Yep Luke. We get fed and take on so many images of the one. Yet, we were/ are right here all along.
Yes Luke it is the forever images and pictures we hold onto that inevitably keep us locked in this forever game of seeking perfection. Letting go of the images allows the beauty and surrender of us being as we are. We are at one when we allow ourselves to be the love that is there always.
Love is an energy that we embody and it can’t be found in other people’s attention, recognition, approval. It is quite astounding the things that we accept as love when we are not embodying it ourselves. I am so grateful to be learning about what love is and how to live in a way that allows the love that is naturally there to be lived with people.
Totally agree with you Simone, it is beyond priceless to be supported to reconnect with what true love is and feels like.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” I love that Alison, appreciation for who we are is so enormously important, and the more that we live that joy we feel in the appreciation, the more we build an ever expanding level of love and joy in our bodies that stops any of the tendency to go into negative thinking which is so damaging to our lives.
Absolutely Beverley – appreciation is key to deepening the love for ourselves.
I was out with a friend last night. She was sharing that she is going through a difficult time with issues at work and with her family. What she was able to appreciate though was that despite the turmoil around, she herself felt centred and at peace. This to me is an example of the self love we can connect to, that gives us a foundation and prevents us getting absorbed by what’s going on around us.
It is interesting the use of the language. We talk about Mr or Ms Right. When the things go down, we conclude that this was a wrong choice (hence that this was Mr or Ms Wrong). In matters of love, we make it about right and wrong. But we tend not to make it about truth. And truth, as Alison presents so clearly is that we are the one. When we understand this, we also understand that right and wrong are movements that are qualitatively different from another one called truth.
Love how simple bringing truth to life makes it. Simple really really simple.
Alison this blog so clearly explains the struggle we associate with finding love. It will always fall short if we are looking for it in another person and so the struggle and the games we play continue. ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This sentence from your blog sums up how I thought of love. The idea that it was something I could choose to be was not easily assimilated, and I had to take a look at what I thought love was and re-learn that it could be in my simple everyday choices.
wow Alison, I love this blog, ‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’ This is so gorgeous and feels absolutely true, I used to live with so much self doubt and did not love myself, over the past few years I have developed a caring, loving relationship with myself which supports me and those around me, I love that we are the ‘one’, so no need for all the searching for someone else to love us.
I find that I still get caught in the old romantic version of love. It is so easy to want someone to bring us love and not do the work ourselves. But how empowering it is to be able to embody love. This means we need never be without it and can carry it with us everywhere. And then we can share it, not only with a partner bt with everyone we meet.
Seeking love in another one (but avoiding going there oneself) is trying to find a settlement within the unsettlement.
Which never works, there is always a searching and coping mechanisms to help us numb that feeling of constant searching.
Yes Eduardo, which can only lead to an even greater feelings of unsettlement.
This beautiful blog makes it very clear: we can be in a loving relationship with someone else only if we are already in the rhythm, the practice and the mood of that relationship with self. Thank you.
Eduardo, this is such a simple teaching from The Ageless Wisdom, but one, when applied transforms all relationships as we currently know them to be.
Hello Eduardo and it makes that much sense I really can’t believe I saw it any other way. All through my life once I had done something for myself then I felt a solidness, a trust with it. I would even make the comment, “I have to do this for myself” and yet when it came to ‘love’ I did everything but, strange? Universal Medicine turned me back and didn’t give me something new but put me back on the track I already knew. If you are ‘lost’ in something then simply turn back, no matter what the heading or the situation the answer is always within you.
A loving relationship with me supports loving relationships with others.
Exactly Eduardo it is very clear isn’t and interesting how the majority of the world including ourselves have been on a quest outside of ourselves for ‘the one’. I remember realising this years ago, I was in the middle of a break up and I was getting a cab home from a late night of work when the thought popped in, their is no one solitary soul mate, such a lie I had bought into about having a deeper connection with just one person in the world – a. how limiting and b. just straight out not true. How you are in connection with someone else is solely down to how open and unprotected you are, very simple.
If we do not choose to be love, the unsettlement is forever awaiting us.
We will feel emptiness including in our relationships with others.
Yes and that unsettlement initiates such a domino effect of activities that are completely loveless and keep us unsettled. Choose love. Choose to be the love that we all are (note to self ;-).
Super true Eduardo. We are forever seeking it.
Unsettlement is the best we can expect if we do not choose love, then the road of disharmony continues with twists and turns that become ever uglier.
Love the clarity with which you unpick all the energy we invest in ‘what is not’, looking outside of ourselves for love and validation when all the time we have the opportunity to build love and appreciation for ourselves as a foundation to support us in our lives when we recognise we are the One.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ”
Yes Alison, I was in this same believe and idea of what love was and only through the teachings of Universal Medicine did I understand that love is innate and that it is up to me to accept that, honour that and live accordingly to be able to feel it and shine in out.
I was so there too – looking outside of me for love. Yet why would someone love me – in truth – if I wasn’t loving myself?
That is a brilliant line you have pulled out Judith, so so true. The whole world shifts on its axis when we wake up to the fact we are the ones who can be love in full, no excuses.
I Love this blog and the truth of it. I too had not consider that Love was a beingness that we chose to connect to and it is within ourselves, each and every one of us. That is is not bigger, stronger or less – it is equally the same for all. When Unversal Medicine presented this I started to realise how fooled I had been. This sentence Alison is something that I have been working on too and it makes the world of difference with our relationship with Love -“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”
The teachings of Universal Medicine, teach us that we have the universe of Love inside each of us – which is the greatest medicine available to humanity. Hearing that, feeling that and beginning to live that has changed my life beyond words.
When we are at one with ourselves in the love of our inner-heart we feel this equal love within every other One.
Hello Mary and yes simply what ever we do for ourselves is by virtue of that there for another. So whatever you are able to bring to yourself is there in your next step, your next hello, your next moment and so quality time spent with yourself is time for everyone.
Beautifully said Mary 🙂 And it doesn’t mean that we don’t still see unloving behaviours for what they are – they do need to be called out and exposed but without any judgment which is possible when we see everyone for their essence first.
When we know we are love, then we know also all others are love, regardless of their outward behaviour. It does not excuse anything that is not love, but it lets us know without conditions that love is their to be chosen at any moment.
It’s amazing to see that when someone really gets what Serge Benhayon presents and then is able to really nail it with a piece of writing like this, so we can all expand and deepen our understanding and really get to the nitty gritty of the subject, and this subject is as important as any we could possibly think of because if we were all unconditionally in love with ourselves, nothing held back we would then see this love in all others, therefore conflict would be erased from the earth and we would truly be able to evolve.
Practical real writing that is able to easily connect to and relate to.
So true kevmchardy, when we hold absolute unconditional love as our norm, not only does it enable us to address the slightest deviation from this norm immediately, the thought of confrontation let alone war is totally alien.
What a beauty Alison! Reading this somehow made me realise I still have conditional love for myself, its easy to love me when all is going well,but if I slip up and let myself down, I jump all over me like a ton of bricks with no real love in sight. I need to love me for the totally beautifully imperfect son of God that I am, warts and all in the good times and the bad.
Yes Kevin it is the learning to love oneself “warts and all in the good times and the bad” that can be a wee bit challenging at times, but once you have learned to love one “wart” loving the next one is so much easier
Yes Kevin, warts and all. I feel like it is easy to love all the ‘nice things’ but not so much the parts of me that are less pleasant. Behaviours and choices that are self destructive. They are there in bigger and smaller packages and seem to get bigger the more I berate myself for them…this should tell me something right?! That they are actually all things to learn from and can stay little, till I feed them with an energy that is not loving at all and then they become issues and dramas and big things to be ‘dealt’ with. Loving ourselves keeps things in perspective and about learning what is love and what is not.
Good point Kevmchardy, we are all perfectly imperfect and no justification is needed. We are all students of life and we all make mistakes. When a baby falls over when learning to walk, we don’t get mad or beat it up like we do to ourselves, instead we hold it lovingly and support it to just take another step.
Well said, Rosie, we need to treat ourselves as tenderly and as lovingly as we would treat a baby
I share that all the time with kids I work with about learning, we quickly loose the ability to be ok with falling down and getting back up and that causes so much delay!
As you would any child.
So true Kevmchardy how quick we are to smother the fire when we slip up – bring greater understanding and acceptance to myself is an offering that serves everyone.
I’m familiar with the tonne of bricks response too kevmchardy. Learning to be gentle with myself and understanding when I do stumble is all that is needed…that and throwing out the ideas of perfection do not support me on any level as these ideas keep me in my head, calculating, comparing and separate from who I truly am.
When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are we no longer seek recognition or approval from others. We are then able to Reflect who we are to people without holding back our love.
Alison, what you bring to me this morning with this blog is the understanding that it is so important to recognise that it is our choice to live that love that already resides in us or not. We will not get it from someone outside and in that we are the only ones that can re-instigate that inner flame of love, that innately lingers in each and everyone of us, patiently waiting to be discovered by us once again.
When it is reignited internally, it glows bright for all others too.
Alison this blog is amazing. I still get caught up in looking outside of myself for love. It’s not until I be with myself that I get to feel the truth that I am love and this no longer remains words I just hear in my head.
Me too Alison. I get caught up in this too, looking for love outside of me. It feels sad and empty to do so and I can see more clearly that others aren’t making me sad but it’s my choice to leave me that does.
Same Karen. This line ” present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” this line just sunk it in a little bit more for me.
I know that one Karin, but more and more I am feeling that when I appreciate myself I no longer need others praise or pats on the back because I know I have done a great job.
It is who you are that is great Julie, and all that you do is purely and extension or expression of this greatness 😉
Recognising love to be an energy that we are all capable of embodying and living is very freeing. Living in a way to be able to feel that love within you and express it in all you do makes relationships about sharing, deepening and celebrating what you already are rather than seeking something from the other person that you don’t perceive yourself to already have.
Yes living this love for ourselves then relieves the neediness of constantly searching outside of ourselves for it and completely transforms all of our relationships.
To have finally let go of the all encompassing neediness that I live with for so was so very liberating, like the releasing of a huge load that was doing nothing but weighing me down and in the process keeping me from connecting to the love that I actually and naturally am. And yes this letting go has certainly transformed my life and my relationships.
The concept that we are already love, and that it is an energy rather than a doing is monumental and will change the world if accepted.
Well said Kate.
So true, Kate. Why aren’t we taught this when we are young?
Indeed katemaroney it removes any sense of need from our relationships and restores the beauty of self responsibility.
Gorgeous Kate, you write of a love that is true and equally accessible to all – and not only that, this love is not static, it is not an end point that is obtained in whatever way possible, to then be kept, coveted and protected at all costs. Love in truth is constantly expanding, ever-deepening and naturally shared with all.
Yes Hannah, and something that can be shared between all people, purely in the quality of presence we bring to our interactions. This is a very different understanding of love than that commonly held – that it is reserved for those closest to us and needs to be actively withheld in professional relationships or acquaintanceships.
We are indeed the ONE and only ONE to bring true change to our lives. Making the choice to take loving responsibility for ourselves has a flow on affect to every area of our lives. The mirror of inspiration this offers others is hugely healing and oh so needed today.
So true Kelly, no one else can or will ever save us. We have the image, at least I did, of someone, ‘the untouched one’, saving me or us but the reality is that each and everyone has a responsibility to be the one so that we can return to living the love we all are.
Alison this is such a beautiful blog, it had me appreciating in full that the love we are, the love we have for self is it. As you say when we come to know this it is ourselves we come to see as the one we have been searching for and it begins by connecting to this beautiful person we get to share our everyday with. Love it!
Thank you Alison, your explanation and understanding of what is love and what it is not very clearly, concise and full of wisdom.It is a beautiful blog to read.
I love what you have written here;
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed”.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” Yes, so simply explained Alison. It is learning to not focus on the negative thoughts constantly trying to influence our actions and make us believe that these thoughts are us.
It is energy passing through us. We have a responsibility to discern what type of energy we choose- from our soul (fiery) or not( astral).
Such a loving relationship with ourselves makes it easier for us to be and remain loving when others are choosing otherwise. When we start mastering that our lives change considerably.
They sure do Christoph, 1st as you say we have to start with ourselves and build a foundation of love, something we can refer back to. Currently there is a lot of abuse and unloving acts in the world which affect us if we do not stand with love. Something I have found is that the more loving I am being with myself the more observational I can be of live and of others and so I understand life more rather than reacting to life.
What you have presented here Alison is foundational and also explains why one can still feel lonely even when they have a partner.
Beautifully written Alison, you express so clearly what is going on in the world, a desperate seeking for the love that is already within us, waiting to be appreciated, nurtured and expressed. Your blog is like a rose in bloom and I am deeply appreciating the beauty and perfume it reflects, a beauty that is in us all.
Thank you for sharing this lovely blog Alison. “When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do”. This is something that I am deepening within my relationship with myself. Not seeing my worth as a person being attached to what it is that I do, but rather, that when I connect to my innate qualities I bring a value that is beyond measure is quite profound. The work that I do is now a product of this quality rather than me being a product of my work.
For most of my life Alison I knew without first practicing being love with myself, this could never be shared truly with anyone. But for most of my life this knowing felt too hard to live. I would know, but struggled immensely with really putting it into practice. Not until meeting with Universal Medicine, that I realized what the practical tools are to prepare this body to be simply a vehicle to convey what is love, so love is no longer a concept but it is what is consistent living and breathing every day. “Could we be the one?” What a great question that is Alison, and how could we/love not be?
This turns what love is on its head! From “love” being something that we depend on from others, to love being something we are and have a responsibility to live and share with everyone. We have so totally been duped by the romantic ideals of conditional love, a love that is ‘out there’ and not inside us all.
Absolutely Melinda, nearly everyone is searching for love or waiting for love to come along, when we are THE one after all as Alison so beautifully expresses and communicates.
I agree Melinda. I think that’s why it took me so long to start putting my own self-care first. I didn’t believe there was any value in it. I thought I had a better chance of getting love by doing more for others, pleasing them, not upsetting them, being an ever-changing chameleon. As soon as I started doing things that connected me back to myself like the gentle breath meditation and looking after myself in simple ways, I started to feel what I had been looking for all along; Me.
As you say Alison we need to look at the fact that we are ” the ONE”. There is no need to look outside of ourselves for confirmation of who we are, for we are Love first. No one can give us anything more than we already are. Thank You Alison.
very great topic Alison. We are love, so its hard to be love with someone and not someone else. This is always a great lesson for me and opening up to people at work and in other places, not holding back the love that I am is always a work in progress. When we are love we know so much, and it is quite empowering once we accept all of the grandness that we are when we let go of security measures, protections and ideals about love.
“LOVE” never hurts, what hurts is us not being love in every situation to the best of our ability. How amazing is the complete opposite being a saying or catch phrase that is so commonly used, no wonder we were so lost. Thanks to the inspiration of Serge Benhayon for his lived wisdom that has turned our blind eyes back to looking for the truth!
It’s crazy to think that we grow up with various images of what we think love should be, kind of like how we imagine we might look in certain outfits. Like it’s outside of us, something we need to conform to, or something we need to attain/achieve. When we work out that we’ve already got it, and it’s not going away, then there is a far greater chance we’ll be able to feel how it truly feels and not just what it might look like.
When we make about others, love can always reduce to an image of what it has to be. Yet, when we make it about ourselves, there are no images.
“ . . . nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.” Yes Alison, while we are looking outside ourselves for someone to love us we will always find conditional love and never enough to fill the emptiness inside. Once we switch to feeling the love within it expands as we confirm it an emanates out so others can also feel the refelction of this love within themselves.
Alison, I love the clarity in your blog which comes from the fact that you have experience everything you say and it is not just coming from your head. You present for us a very simple choice: to accept that “I AM already love” or focus on what is not love.
We are love and it is our choice to live in confirmation of that, to surrender to that fact and to appreciate how amazing it is to be living this love everyday and so it is that we are the reflection of the love in all others. Holding this and living this truth means it, cannot be changed by another person, situation or thought. We are the ‘One’
Great point Christine. When we realise we are the love we have been looking for, no one or nothing can take it away from us. We can therefore never be scared of losing love or not being loved. That then takes a lot of pressure off of our relationships.
And what a relief it is to realise we ourselves are what we have been looking for, true love, and as you say “no one or nothing can take it away from us”. There is no need to keep on looking, just connect deeply to ourselves, live that love, and be that love whoever we are interacting with. What a beautiful relationship can develop between two people who live the love that they are themselves, and share that love with each other. No more putting expectations on another to give us what we want, yes, it certainly takes the pressure off relationships.
I love your description of Love being an art. To me it describes the constant evolution of Love within as we become more master-full of this heaven sent quality we are all originally from.
I love the word master-ful Lucy…. The practice of walking this path knowing we are not searching for anything we are by divine design complete, the illusions this world present can drop away…. and that is a practice to walk in our power with the authority of a master working with all.
And loving your expansion Merrilee. ‘..we are by divine design complete’ are words to live by and accept for the absolute truth they are.
This is such a beautiful writing. Thank you, Alison. Me too – love being something we can simply choose to be, and not find, give or send was never what I thought love to be. Yet I feel love is still “Something that needed time, consistency and a track record of trust” – as this is how and what we are having to build through self-loving choices in order to embrace it with our whole body, having lived disconnected from the essence of who we are for so long.
A beautiful and very inspiring blog Alison, bringing simplicity and clarity to that ‘which is’ and that’ which is not’ love. Thank you!
“Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.” Serge Benhayon has revealed to me also the truth about love; what he shares about our interpretation and misinterpretation of it is transformative.
The ideals that we hold that there is something or someone outside of ourselves will offer us more than what we already are, will keep us searching. It is only through developing and deepening our love and connection for ourselves that leads to an absolute knowingness that all that we could possibly ever want, resides within and that there is nothing grander than this love.
Agreed Joseph, when stripped away of all the colours, trimmings and flavours of how we ‘think’ love looks what we are left with is heart of our being.
This is an astoundingly beautiful blog that brings us simply back to ourselves and the loving responsibility we have to be all that we are which in turn allows others to be all that they are. When we are all being who we truly are, ‘all that we are not’ cannot be.
Well said Jeanette. And this is the thing, appreciation and love for ourselves first directly impacts everyone around us and gives everyone an opportunity to do the same. If we think about how trends operate….how things take off, it’s because someone started it and another followed. What are we resisting with having self love become the latest thing to be trending.
What is needed for humanity is for us all to come to what you have Alison, by the exquisite reminders that each ONE of us bring each other by living from the love we are, so shortens the moments spent in search outside of ourselves.
Absolutely stunning writing Alison thank you. Thank you for ‘going there’, to feel the connection you have made with the love you are and to freely share and express from the All that we’re in connection with is as heavenly as it is powerful.
The way you describe Love as a simple energetic quality, a vibration that is at the heart of life, we can simply align to is beautiful Alison. And this is is what shines through and emanates in everything you share here.
Alison I am astounded by the depth and beauty of your expression. Thank you. I very much appreciate being reminded that I can choose to be in a truly amazing relationship with me every moment.
So true Leonne, I also loved the clarity in which Alison writes – this line was a corker – “Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.”. I was like oh yeah, so true.
Absolutely Leonne. We have the opportunity in every moment to treat ourselves with the utmost care and be in a truly amazing relationship with our bodies – we don’t have to wait for anyone to grant or ‘give’ us love.
“The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.” This for me is a golden and timely truth. How would our world look like if this was our choice for the way forward?
Yes this quote stood out for me also. I’ve been a champion at focusing on the ‘what is not’. Always looking at what needs to be improved, how I can better myself from a ‘I’m not good enough’ perspective, etc etc. These days I’m bringing more focus to the ‘what is’, how I am every day, what I appreciate about myself etc. It turns out, you move forward so to speak a whole lot quicker when you’re not berating yourself all the time. I recommend experimenting with it.
Yes, so true that we have in our lives what we choose to give attention to. The what is not love is dependent on our choice to feed it. It can never be greater than love, so I need never fear it.
Being at the mercy of receiving love from others is like being out at sea buffeted around by fierce, relentless winds or soothed by the rays of sunlight in between the storm; it is not within our control and takes us for a wild ride. The fact that we are love and to live in the embodiment of that love is so very powerful. Every person deserves to know this truth.
Great comment Emma. It really highlights the craziness of leaving our own feeling of love and being loved up to the whims of the world outside us, when we are pure love within.
It completely turns life as we know it on its ear.
Absolutely Emma. The craziness I’ve allowed in relationships because I’ve not lived being the love I am is huge. And when I say relationships I mean my relationship with myself, others, food, work, sleep everything, all because I seek the love that I am but do not live the fact that I am love.Yes, everyone deserves to know this truth and the only way I can express it is if I live it because otherwise it’s just words I’m trying to convince myself with, for a start.
This is so apt Emmadanchin ‘love from others is like being out at sea buffeted around by fierce, relentless winds or soothed by the rays of sunlight in between the storm’ – no wonder people give up on love if this is all they know and have as a marker, without realising that they already are the love that they crave.
Beautifully expressed, Emma, I love how you wrote that. Yes, expecting love from others, rather than being love ourselves certainly causes us much upset when we do not receive what we had imagined we should receive. But we should not have expectations from others, it is up to ourselves to connect to the divine love that is within ourselves, how much more powerful is that. The key is for us to truly love ourselves, and live that love with others. If both parties do that, then it is a very powerful relationship that can develop.
Well said. It is such a simple truth, yet so many people choose an emotional view of love, the wind and the sun approach. Love is steady, not something that sways.
Indeed, most worthy of a blog Alison, thank you. It is liberation to recognize, confirm and appreciate the fact that we are love and it is our love that provides the foundation and support for our lives. No longer do we need others, but rather we can simply bring our love to be shared joyfully with theirs. It becomes a compass for life because when we have a daily experience of our own love, then when our or someone else’s behaviour is not love, it really stands out where the work is needed to be done; to recognize it and simply walk away from it into the loving movements always possible for us from within our body.
The point you raise about focusing on what we do ahead of who we already truly are is quite a powerful point. Just by focusing more on what we do instead of who we truly are we are basing our measure of self-worth and the worth of others on the outer actions instead of feeling the true essence of each one of us. This is huge as this is what humanity has done for a very very long time and it has not truly worked.
So true Joshua. As I just replied to another comment, I noted how it starts with one person making a different choice, and for true change to happen that’s all we need. The word ‘trending’ is really applicable here, for we could, if we chose to, have self love and appreciation be the latest thing ‘trending’. By choosing it for ourselves, we give other the opportunity to also give it a go. That would be a worth while trend.
Now that makes great sense to me, Elodie to give self love a go. “By choosing it for ourselves, we give others the opportunity to also give it a go”. We are the reflection to others when we choose to nurture and care for ourselves lovingly, our radiance emanates out for all others to see the joy that we feel when we live this way. How different the world will become when more and more give self love a go.
So true Elodie. The speaking up of truth from any one of us gives ‘permission’ and inspiration for others to also express their truth.
“As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.” If we choose to be love then that knocks out the endless search for love outside of ourselves. We end the disillusioning and debilitating search for “the someONE” out there who is guaranteed to fill us up from the outside in. This feels empowering.
Alison thank you for offering what is a very clear and simple understanding of what ‘love is’ and what ‘love is not’. There is such a push for us to believe in images we create and then pursue on ‘what is not love’. This set up is so exposed in what you share. Yet the greater majority of people choose to believe and create immense realities about love being something that comes from another. Marketing, advertising, entertainment, fashion, food all play into the images of romantic love to sell product. We are being played like pawns on a chessboard.
Clearly there is no financial profit to be made on love when we truly connect to the love we are from with-in. But the true value to our selves and humanity is priceless.
“Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day…” That is such a simple truth, we are the ONE that is with us from the day we are born to the day we pass over. It makes so much sense to build our relationship with ourselves as a foundation of all our relationships.
I know Katinka I made my focus outside of myself for most of my life. But now it makes so much sense why my life was the way it was. I can really appreciate how simple life is when I bring my focus back to me, my choices, behaviors and my responsibilities
It is beautiful reading what you have written. Could we be the ONE we have been looking for to come along and brighten our lives for us? “When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being”. Beautifully said. I have found that if we are not taking care of ourself in this way, no amount of external attention is enough, and when we ARE taking care of ourself in this quality, we are already full and complete. Anything else is just a gorgeous extra. Yes we ARE the ONE we have been waiting for.
So crazy to think about this Golnaz, that we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for the one, or that something extra, a little bit of excitement that we think we are missing. Yet, all along, it is us we are looking for and once we establish a true connection with our essence there is nothing further required.
This is spot on Alison, if we keep focusing on what is not us our focus is just that – all we are not. Building that focus and appreciation of who we are already – not what we do but the quality we are in and how that makes us feel – the more we do that the less of our day is spent focusing on what is not us or our mistakes. It’s like having two full time jobs in two separate places, if we are working in one we are not at the other, simple.
I love what you offer here, Leigh. Such a great reminder, as I often find myself getting caught up in the doings of the day, rather than focusing on the quality of that I am in. I am learning how powerful appreciation truly is in confirming what and who we are already.
Thank you Leigh- appreciating ‘not what we do but the quality we are in and how that makes us feel – the more we do that the less of our day is spent focusing on what is not us or our mistakes.’ This makes a lot of sense to me.
Alison, you make it so clear, and I really got a greater understanding of the fact that if I don’t appreciate and confirm the love I am, I am by default leaving myself open to the neediness and search for love and recognition out there. It’s up to each of us to take responsibility for loving us and with that we bring our love to the world.
This is a good point Monica that “I am by default leaving myself open to the neediness and search for love and recognition out there.” Confirming and appreciating ourselves is also another necessary way of loving ourself. Thank you for this reminder.
Yes there’s no getting away from responsibility Julie and Elizabeth, no matter where we go, and how much we might fool ourselves, we hold the key within us and it’s up to us to live in a way which ensures that all times we do everything to confirm where who we truly are, to appreciate and to take the next step. I’m more clearly than ever each day understanding that my responsibility is to confirm and appreciate, anything less is a cope out.
The word that popped up in me while reading this beautiful blog was Responsibility. I am learning that there’s only one person responsible for what’s going on inside of me. That’s me. When I reacted to something or somebody in life, I used to blame the situation or the person. For me this was ‘normal’, the way it is. I am learning now that this isn’t True. Of course, my head agreed a long time ago, but as of recently I really start to take True Responsibility and see how dishonest I still was and indirectly still blamed a lot. It is actually very freeing to take Responsibility for this behaviour and with that empowering myself to choose again. Appreciation and a foundation of Love are very needed. Otherwise we’re lost… Thank you Alison.
I can relate to what you are sharing Alison. We learn that love is something we can give and receive, that we can pick and choose, that we can have or not have, that we can fall in or out from, that can hurt or elevate us, but we do not learn the truth about love, that love is love and that there is no on and off switch with love but that it comes back to whether we choose to be love or not.
Agreed. I also feel like it’s been helpful for me to learn that people react differently to love. Some can’t handle it and some, well, love it! But the important part for me is not to take it on if there is a real reaction – it is in fact a confirmation of me being Love.
Being the one not only calls us to be super loving with ourselves and everybody else but also calls for responsibility in every area of our lives.
Yes Esther, it is our responsibility to be, live and express the love that we are.
Responsibility is huge Esther. I have found that as I am being more and more responsible for how I am in the world, this includes loving myself and sharing this love, that my understanding of what responsibility is expands.
That continuous forever search for love was very elusive, it certainly took me on many journeys over many years and still I felt lost, confused, rejected, disappointed and full of self-doubt. Serge Benhayon as you share with us Alison, was the first (that I’d met also) to present that love is “an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of Self-love and care”. Amazing – all that looking ‘outside’ of ourselves and all the time we come into this world fully equipped with everything that we truly require for us to evolve and to “experience the amazingness of who we truly are”.
It is my job to love myself and you know what, I love that job, every day a little bit more as there is no ending point to the love that I am. And the beauty is, there is no weekends or holidays, it is a job for life, 24/7.
And it is a beautiful ‘job’, as it makes you feel so exquisite, precious and beautiful. Why do we ever want to take a break from that? That is something to ponder on, truly.
yes it is something to ponder on, why we want to take a break at times. Because when you come to think of it, it does not make sense at all.
I like that Mariette. Your comment brought a smile to my face. It is a great job and one we certainly should not be taking a holiday from.
Beautifully claimed, Mariette, I love it. And what a great job this is, deepening our love of ourselves, day by day, being willing to gradually discard all that is not love. Yes, “it is a job for life, 24/7”.
Beautiful Mariette. While this is my job too, I feel that I am still learning how to do it. I am deepening my self love consistently and further refining my definition of love day by day.
The merry-go-round of looking for love in all the wrong places, well any thing or person out there, is an exhausting and as you say Alison dis-empowering way to live. I know that needy emotion well but now I use it more as a sign that I need to deepen the love I have for myself. Thank you for making this such a super clear example of we are definitely the one.
This so great to read, and see that We are all what it is truly about. Loving get ourself would relieve life of so much drama, and not searching for the One would save quite some time. So I am coming to see that it is truly the way. Thanks for writing this, it is confirming to read, knowing the amazing man I am.
Alison, this is so well explained, thank you. ‘this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life’ is something many of us have experienced and your article shows how important it is to love ourselves first so that we can get beyond the not feeling enough.
I agree, Carmel. when we don’t feel enough we seek it in another person and this is usually disastrous as the relationship is based on need rather than each person bringing all of them to the relationship in a truly loving way.
Spot on Anne, there is such a difference when 2 people come together out of love with no need. When there is need it means you are compromising and allowing unloving acts rights from the start, whereas when you start with love you do not accept any less. This is sadly why we see so much abuse in relationships today and why we allow it.
I would tend to feel, Anne, that the majority of relationships are actually based on a need. Few of us have been brought up to feel we are really enough as we are, so yes, we do seek love and appreciation from others, build an expectation that the other will provide what we need. When this is not forthcoming, then relationships can falter and so often fail. It is sad that this is so, that most people do not feel that they are enough, there is so much lack of self love in the world, and people are constantly trying to prove that they can ‘do’ things, rather than appreciating that they are enough as they are.
Totally agree Carmel, having a solid foundation of love for ourselves in truth, developing our relationship with ourselves, sets us up to be unconditionally loving with others, not needing them to be a certain way.
So so true Carmel, Fiona and Anne, that is the true relationship we have been looking for, the one that begins with loving self. As you share Fiona from here we can then come to every relationship without need and offer true unconditional love.
This is so incredible, it’s so simple. It dismantles any expectations or neediness. I am learning to build my foundation of love inspired by the amazing reflections I receive.
Exactly Carmel. I have definitely experienced that conditional love. But as I learnt to appreciate who I am and what I bring to the world, I’m getting a better sense and understanding of how much we really are all equal in love and that it’s really not something you go out and get, or receive.
I have certainly experienced this. Now I feel empowered by taking responsibility for all my choices.
Yes Carmel, and when we feel we are enough, we are also more accepting of others and don’t expect them to fill the lack or emptiness we feel.
I so agree, Carmel, it was absolutely foreign to me for most of my life to feel that I could love myself first. I was brought up to feel that it was selfish to put myself first in any way, and subscribed to that belief until I first went to a presentation by Serge Benhayon where he emphasised the need for us to begin developing our body of love through care and nurturing of ourselves, developing true self love and a love for all others as a result. The way it was explained made complete sense to me, and it turned my life around amazingly by being willing to consider and implement that way of living.
Absolutely Carmel. Conditional love sets us up for rejection and feeling not enough. I have used conditional love to keep others at bay, as they will never meet all of the conditions I place on them. This is a far cry from the truth and openness of love.
No matter how much love we seemingly get from outside ourselves it will never match the feeling of truly loving oneself.