Could We Be THE One?

Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.

It wasn’t just a normal way of being with everyone but something that needed time, consistency and a track record of trust. Take away that trust and the love would seemingly dry up like a puddle in the sun.

This was how I lived in my relationships: I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.

This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.

But that was love, right? Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.

Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.

As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. 

Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life. Things would feel great when I was getting the attention, acceptance and recognition I was seeking, but when it inevitably dried up, I was faced with the saddening reality of how I truly felt about myself – that I never felt quite good enough no matter how much I seemingly ‘succeeded’ in life.

Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.

This is a far cry from the relationship I once had with myself, the world and everyone around me!

Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.

These layers of the ‘what isn’t’ love, such as the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised, can seem overwhelming, yet in reality they’re all minute in comparison to the amazingness of who we truly are.

The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.

When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.

Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love? 

Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.

By Alison Coleman

Further Reading:
Self-love vs self-loathing
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
To honour another you need to love yourself

1,237 thoughts on “Could We Be THE One?

  1. Finding out the true truth about love. I wonder why we aren’t we allowing ourselves to know this from young instead of going through the ups and downs and emotional roller-coasters of ‘love’, and of course that first this comes from within, therefore no need to look for it outside … not meaning that we cannot have deep, purposeful and loving relationships. If I had the Ageless Wisdom teachings when I was younger I know the first part of my life would have been a lot simpler and a whole lot more lovely. 🌸

  2. Ironic really that when we first hear or talk about love we think of love with another person or partner but never the true love we hold within ourselves. No wonder we can feel so empty and alone, of course, if we are looking outside for something to fill or fulfil us when really the pot of gold lies within.

  3. Because of the false beliefs and ideals of love we can have a lot of investment in our relationships and the people around us, always waiting to receive love from outside of ourselves. This can lead to a lot of misery and upset because life doesn’t run to our pictures. And, in that false belief of love we are missing those daily moments and opportunities to love ourselves and feel/be our own love.

  4. ‘Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’ So simple right! But something we are not readily taught especially from someone who lives this; however Serge along with many are changing this ✨

  5. ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ In the not choosing to be this, but in the seeking of receiving it and in the giving of it out we have created another currency called need.

  6. ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ Ditto. Having now learned this, choosing to be love, I feel, is our ultimate individual responsibility.

  7. ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This is so true from my experience also, I can feel that in our society we are taught that love is outside of ourselves, if we knew that love was within us we need never be on the endless search for mr or mrs right. Being in a relationship would be something we would choose if we wanted to, not something that we needed as we would already feel the love within us.

  8. Why do we always search outside of ourselves for love – or “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? great question Alison.

  9. Love being something you choose to be is incredibly powerful. It takes my victim of fate way of living and the anxiety -including the highs and lows – away too. I used to enjoy the rollercoaster ride but am coming to appreciate the steadiness of love from within way more.

    1. It is but a choice. Choosing to say yes to Love. It really is that simple. No emotions. No drama. No ups. No downs. But a steady consistency.

  10. Coming back to this blog feels very restoring to me. Certainly the hurt of not feeling good enough sometimes may seems quite strong, but how great being honest and aware about where we are at. By making this choice we can feel the hurt in its rawness, let it go and see our truth within, the fact that we are much more than our hurts. Every time we let go and heal we can open up to a deeper level of love, which never ends and it’s for all. It’s the one we craved for so long.

  11. The art of learning where to place our attention.. do we focus on what’s going well, our strengths, qualities; the beauty and depth in our lives, or the bits that we haven’t nailed, are a bit messy and/or are a work in progress? Even with the messy bits, there is still a beauty in what is there for us to learn through it.

  12. Do you know something is very wrong to me when we grow up thinking and feeling that love is not innately within us, it shows just how lost we are. I can really relate with all you have shared here. On reflection it was not until I met Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I finally had a true reflection of love to enable me to connect within what I knew to be true within. Years on I now have much more self-love for myself and also a genuine love for others, not based on emotion which I grew up to believe what love was! I am in no way perfect, never will be, and am always learning but I can appreciate just how far I have come.

    1. I would say the same Vicky until I met Serge Benhayon I would always look outside for love and felt unworthy of being the love that he has spoken about for many years. A love that is there innately in every single person and yet we are so far removed from it that we believe that we would not be worthy of it – that’s just crazy. Now because I am developing self-love from the inside out I have a huge appreciation for the people I meet and feel truly blessed when I get to connect to people I know and have just met.

  13. It changes everything when we realise that honouring our love within is all that we need to be with to live who we are, to be truly fulfilled and it is this that set a real foundation for all other relationships to develop.

  14. It makes sense, that our truest and greatest love is the one we can hold for ourselves. Which I know is easy to say, but very much different to live, especially when life is hard. Which is why this is such an important teaching that Serge Benhayon has given.

  15. Yes it really does offer us an opportunity to see and feel our full purpose as to why we are here. When we focus on the Love that we are, we can feel and sense what is not this. The more we claim what we are, the more we will have access to the enormity that is on offer.

  16. We learn that love comes and goes and that we can select whom to love and not to love. When we start to love ourselves we start to understand that love lives within us, and the more we embrace this love we are made of, the more everything around us is held in this love and we realise that there is no difference.

  17. To also realise that it is the choices that we make that determine our life and not that someone else will come and ‘save us” is deeply empowering.

    1. Totally agree David – understanding what true responsibility is and how our choices impact not only us but all others is very empowering as you say, and very honoring of us all.

  18. God is not responsible for our actions and choices. It is we who choose to be lesser than Him, in most cases knowingly so. Hence it has to be us, ALL OF US who have to one day take responsibility for living in anyway less than the love we truly are.

  19. There is so much hype from religions about ‘the one’ or the ‘chosen one’ that it almost feels like sacrilege to claim to be ‘the one’. Yet we are all ‘the one’, a divine spark of God. It just doesn’t make sense that most of us would be seconds or rejects, while a special few are the ‘one’. Perhaps it’s just that we don’t want to step up to the mark and reclaim all the love we are.

    1. Yes, it’s such a disservice we’ve done to ourselves to entertain the thought that to recognise ourselves as ‘the one’ is somehow sacrilege, when actually the opposite is true.

  20. Bringing deep care, and regard to ourselves and our body is not selfish but a choice that benefits all Humanity. Being and living the Love that we are shows the beauty and richness that is accesible for all, with no expectations, attachments and with full respect to the other’s choices.

    1. Yes, it is through the activity of this self regard that we build a relationship with respect, decency and a foundation of Love. This deepening never stops, it is a constant expanding which therefore cannot be arrogant. I will forever be a student.

  21. I can certainly feel how the word “Love” entails such a variety of meanings and most of them are coming from outside us. Such as ‘you give to receive something back’ and with that it is accepted compromising ourselves in order to sustain the relationship, making what is ‘good’ for your family, friends, partner…to show affection and loyalty. But what kind of rules have we created in our relationships that allows the denying of what we truly feel inside? and the poor relationship with ourselves in terms of self-care and self-love? Definitely this can’t be called love anymore but an exchange or an arrangement where maybe we feel safe and secure.

  22. ‘Could We Be THE One?’ Definitely YES, and thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing that ALL is inside us. It’s all a matter of choice to reconnect back to US and live the LOVE we already are.

  23. It is such a relief, stop the search! No need to seek the love that I am outside of myself or from another. But how beautiful it is to share and receive it back.

  24. ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ That’s truly an art but once we have mastered this art, not with perfection, life becomes completely different, there is so much love and joy to share, it is endless once we connect.

    1. “there is so much love and joy to share, it is endless once we connect” This is beautiful Annelies, to feel and express this in life, changes the quality of relationships with others.

  25. Yes Alison – ‘The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.’ – I too have found that focusing on the ‘what is’ has been a total game changer. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have been breaking down and letting go of conditioned ways of focusing on what we are not or think we don’t have is Soul destroying. However in truth nothing can touch the Soul we just layer ourselves with the what is not. To be able to sit and feel and know that I am amazing, have everything that I will ever need and then some, that I am beautiful and precious is very humbling to feel and know so much glory of who I am and that I am the One.

    1. And when we focus on the what is, its delightful to see just how much of it is available already. The what is not is but a small percentage, but can act like a small dark cloud that dulls the glory we all have inside.

  26. I remember at a Women’s group us discussing what love was and I shared I knew I was connected when I could feel a warmth in my feet. A person beside me was so relieved as she thought I was going to say the usual; when I hold my child’s or partner’s hand etc., something to do with another but it most certainly is to do with ourselves and how our bodies feel in connection to the whole universe.

    1. That’s so beautiful Vanessa and very revealing about what true love is about, is inside us and in everyone else equally so.

  27. Supporting me to be me, connecting to my own love, for me to be love, is such a foreign way of being in this world which is all about trying to find someone to love us, to make us feel worthy, when the truth is we are responsible for loving ourselves, how amazingly beautiful is that responsibility.

  28. “Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.” Love this we spend our lives searching for The One when all the time we are the One, we are the love we have been searching for and that love is right there in the mirror being reflected back to us. How blind are we when it comes to love?

  29. I love what you are saying here about how love is something that we choose to be. Knowing this, we can never complain about not having love in our life, because we can bring the love that we crave.

  30. The love in our lives is dependent on the love we are willing to express and the quality of that expression comes from the relationship we have with ourselves and with God.

  31. I had a Jewish friend and his experience was that some people were special, born special so the idea that anybody can be without limitations was a surprise for him.

  32. This made me smile when I think ‘I am Mr Right’! Its all there, not in the achievements, the quantity of what I do, but in the quality that I can feel super steady in me. Its always there, so how much do I value, appreciate, and treasure that? (Cause I’ve tried the dependent model, looking to the outside for fulfillment, and it’s an exhausting and impossible task to fulfill).

  33. We most definitely are the ones that are beholders of love and through our connection to our innermost we realise that nothing can compare to this superlative quality that represents the essence of us all.

  34. Looking back I can honestly say that I did not truly love anyone I was in so much protection, I was always waiting for something to go wrong. And I feel this is because we have set up our society to believe that love cannot last which is the complete opposite of the truth of true love the love of God. It is always there it is we who reject this love and suffer the consequences.

    1. Mary, this makes sense. To me it was a revelation that there is much more to love than I realised and this has opened doors to a very different way of living and connecting and relating and loving others as well.

      1. Christoph it has been a huge revelation to me, one which continues to deepen. I am just beginning to feel my love of humanity as a whole, and this is because I am allowing myself to feel the deep love I actually hold for myself. I know that none of this would have been possible without the continued support of Serge Benhayon and his family, as he was, as Alison stated the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.

    2. Your last sentence is so true Mary – ‘it is we who reject this love and suffer the consequences.’ Opening my heart and knowing that I am love first has opened me up to others and reduced the protection I was always carrying. It feels so wrong that we are not honoured from young to feel the love we are.

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