A Lesson in Surrender – Be like a Feather

Have you ever observed how a feather floats through the sky, so smoothly and with grace, no matter what is going on around it.

There is not a speck of control as it silkily glides through the air and surrenders to the wind, letting it guide its movements.

In this surrender it becomes one with the wind, no longer individual, but part of the grand symphony of nature’s elements, trusting completely that it will be taken care of in its movements and when it stops.  

Yesterday I spent the day feeling like the feather. I was totally surrendered to my inner connection, the solid, grounded wisdom that lives within, observing all that was happening around me.

I felt exquisitely beautiful, very open with people and able to understand life with ease.

In this surrender, I was moving and expressing as my inner connection impulsed me to be. It was very freeing – I felt safe and supported and there was a confidence within my body that I would naturally know what to do next.

During a lovely and open discussion over dinner with my family, one of them reacted to something I said and responded with a sharp and pointed reply and asked me to stop talking.

In the past, I would have had my own reaction and I would have been very hurt, closing my heart and stepping away from the love I was naturally feeling. This hurt and shutdown would stop me from being able to observe and detach from the situation. I would go into doubt and let thoughts flood my head with the flavour of “Nobody wants me,” or “What I am expressing is too much.”

I would retreat into a corner of my heart and tentatively wait for someone to give me a sign that it was safe to come out again.

This time was very different. It was a defining moment in my learning of how to observe and not absorb.

When my family member spoke, I was able to observe what was going on and support myself to not take the words personally, but to feel and look deeper at what was happening before my eyes.

I did not react and I realised what we were talking about had triggered an old hurt. The retaliation I felt in the comment was because this person was feeling vulnerable as the conversation went deeper, asking us all to go to another level of intimacy with one another.

I could feel the anxiousness come in for them, and the resistance to being more intimate, in case they were not met in this next level of openness and in the way they had allowed themselves to show more of their inner self.

I did not go into sympathy for the hurt they were feeling and no anger exploded in my body.

I was bathed in the holding quality of love from my inner connection and so I remained like the feather – surrendered and knowing what I was to do next was already taken care of.

As I sat, I registered an exquisite open feeling in my body; thoughts did try to enter of “How dare they say that!” but I kept saying no to those and kept coming back to the feeling of warmth that was expanding from my heart.

I held my family member in absolute love, remembering the gorgeous, tender, precious, loving being they naturally are.

Their heated emotion transformed and any anger or hurt they were feeling dissipated from their body. They looked tentatively into my eyes and I met them with a fullness of love and understanding that melted their hesitancy away.

Dinner continued with a more open, intimate and loving discussion. This was a very defining moment for us all, grounding a new level of connection and way to relate as a family.

I was filled with appreciation for my choice to remain like the feather – surrendered to the exquisite love that surrounds us all and to the solid, unwavering wisdom that comes from our inner connection.

I have enormous appreciation for Serge Benhayon and his teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Without them I would not have re-connected to the truth of how to “Observe and not absorb.”  Thank you Serge, for the ever expanding love and guidance that you bring to humanity.

I have enormous appreciation for Natalie Benhayon, who first presented the analogy of the feather and surrender. This has deepened my understanding of surrender and supported a profound healing. Thank you Natalie, you constantly inspire me with your commitment and your beautiful lived way.

by Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse, Melbourne  

Further Reading:
Learning to observe and not absorb life
The Power of True Surrender

899 thoughts on “A Lesson in Surrender – Be like a Feather

  1. Today I remained open and was very honest with someone, and in that space, I let go and the interaction we had utterly melted me, as they came back with their own openness … it showed me the power of grace and surrender and how letting go any idea of how it should be, or that anyone be right, brought understanding that allowed a space for a more deeply honest connection. It was deeply healing and I love the analogy here of the feather, as it is the perfect metaphor for surrender.

  2. This is very beautiful Bianca. It highlights that when we react, we are reacting to a previous hurt that has been not dealt with being triggered. Even that realisation for someone is life changing. For that in itself removes the personal, thinking that someone is saying something to intentionally hurt. It also highlights our choice when someone is in reaction. Is that all we see, or do we see much more of what is going on? And do we choose to react in response – and we all know where that ends! or do we choose not to react or take on any of what is being said and simply observe. To observe is to bathe another and ourselves in love.

  3. Exquisite – the power of love and of our willingness to love and to the divinity we know within. In that connection and in that commitment, the door is sealed and we offer God’s love to everyone.

    1. Beautifully said Katerina. It is so true that in our surrender to the love of who we are, the love of God, we are moved and respond with whatever is needed for the All in that and every moment.

      1. And when we do that our movements are like that of a feather, flowing with rhythms of the Universe.

  4. I observed the other day the leaves gently floating down to the ground with such grace, no effort, just allowing themselves to be carried. I loved what you so beautifully shared Bianca how with surrender comes the wisdom of observation, nothing to fix just like the feather being held in love, and holding each other in that same love.

  5. Life in this moment is asking me to surrender and let go of trying and having to do it all alone. I am not fully there yet, as this old momentum is deeply ingrained, yet I can feel how I am being held and supported.

  6. In the past I have always gone into sympathy with another, thinking that was the correct response, but in fact it just meant I absorbed their stuff. In other words I took it on, therefore not serving the other and most certainly hurting my body. The only way to not absorb is to stay connected with oneself and have no need or desire to fix anybody, which we usually do to make ourselves feel good and which distracts us from dealing with our own stuff.

  7. ‘what I was to do next was already taken care of.’ … reading this I have a deeper understanding of surrender, it’s to take care and stay connected and open in this moment and the next is taken care of … it removes all striving, all angst and all ‘what if’ or ‘what next’ and brings it simply back to feeling and being in that moment. A beautiful reminder today Bianca thank you.

  8. I used to think that surrender meant I had to surrender to something else, someone else and therefore give my power away. One day the penny finally dropped and I could feel that it is a deepening into oneself surrendering into the infinite space we hold within.

    1. This is beautiful Lucy, I love how you have come to understand surrender as going deeper into oneself rather than giving yourself away to something outside of ourselves.

  9. I held my family member in absolute love, remembering the gorgeous, tender, precious, loving being they naturally are. I just read a few words from Serge Benhayon yesterday; that true success is how loving we have been with others….

  10. What a beautiful lesson in surrender, and a powerful reflection and confirmation of just how surrendered you were by not going into reaction yourself with the sharp words of the family member. Holding ourselves in love is the key, because then we can hold others in love too.

  11. To be like a feather in the wind is a great analogy to how we can move in the world of energy we live in. Are we able to move with the flow of the energy we have chosen to live or feel we are pushed in a way that asks us to move differently, in another energy that does not naturally belong to us and is moving against that what is there to investigate and become more aware off.

  12. Does our primal animal trapped in a corner, come up as a self-defense response and then verbally attack another. When we don’t react and as you have expressed, when we hold everyone dear to our heart there are no corners.

  13. The more I practise staying with my body and awake and aware of what I’m feeling, the easier it becomes to observe and read situations as they occur, without reacting to them. It’s amazing that we know exactly what to do and when to do it. When we stay connected to the simplicity of what we can feel, instead of reacting to another person acting differently to how we’d like them to act, it offers space for potential expansion.

  14. I can feel the love you hold, Bianca, as you allowed yourself to observe what was unfolding before you. I have been through a similar experience at work, and reading your blog has been a healing confirmation for me of the power of observation.

    1. Yes Susie, and that brick in the air will only go one way and that is down to the earth in a straight line, considering life to be linear and bounded to only this earth.

  15. ‘In this surrender, I was moving and expressing as my inner connection impulsed me to be. It was very freeing – I felt safe and supported and there was a confidence within my body that I would naturally know what to do next.’ Awesome Bianca when we chose to let go of control we are taken care of in ways that we could never have imagined.

  16. Love the analogy of the feather gliding through life completely surrendered to its lack of control, trusting that it will be taken care of on its journey. This is so powerful as it allows us to choose to not react in situations and therefore not add to or escalate any reactions.

  17. Bianca, how lovely for you to feel and stay with yourself in the situation for what it is, by observing and reading how things can change for self and others. I feel on the few occasions I allow this way into my body, how life becomes so much simpler and love can then prevail in my life as a much deeper level of interaction and communication.

  18. Thank you Bianca, it was truly a significant moment to be able to stay with love in such a situation and not retreat into feeling hurt. It’s an enormous learning to observe and not take things personally. It’s very inspiring what you have shared because that same opportunity is there for us all, to be settled deeply into our own love no matter what is going on around us.

  19. I feel the support the wind offered the feather as it found its way to the ground. This is something that cannot be seen, only felt and trusted. I wonder if that is why we struggle so much with surrender in our own lives, because we have placed far more importance on what we see and therefore discount the power of what we feel.

  20. You could read this article once and never come back to it having gained so much awareness from it the first time. Today when I found this article it was a reread and it was like I hadn’t read it before. The analogy is perfect and so often I have found myself taking on things that are going on around me which then makes me a part of it all. What I am forever learning is how to surrender to what has happened and allow myself to settle or my body to be still in the moment I am in, thus gaining my full self ready to step into the next moment which is already there. The longer I stay anywhere else but fully aware of how I am feeling then I know I don’t see or observe everything that happens before me and I start to carry it.

  21. This is a beautiful analogy as it represents so well what is possible when we do surrender to who we are within, where we are at one with the pulse of the universe with God as such we are moved by our Soul in honor of the love we all are. This is the movement that confirms who we are and brings the truth that is needed in this world.

  22. ‘Observe and not absorb’, these 4 powerful words are life changing when you apply them everyday, they also give you the space to bring a deeper understanding to another instead of judging them for their choices or behaviours.

  23. A joy to return to this again and a beautiful reminder to go ever deeper as I realised that yesterday I reacted with surprise to a question, and consequently closed my heart, when I would have liked to have stayed open and ‘floated like a feather’.

  24. When we surrender, we go deep into the body and say no to whatever does not correspond to what are we truly surrendering to. It is like landing into something bigger in a movement of embracing it.

  25. When one person stays out of reaction, the world is redefined. With every reaction there is a ripple effect that spreads and spreads… take away the reaction and there is one less ripple in the world

  26. “In this surrender, I was moving and expressing as my inner connection impulsed me to be.” What I am finding in the surrender to my own body’s connection is a deeper awareness of how I care for myself and also a greater urgency to express at certain times too. There is a great power in our choice to surrender for it allows a greater depth of understanding of who we are and other’s experiences of life too and that is a huge blessing.

  27. ‘….surrendered and knowing what I was to do next was already taken care of.’ That’s such an important part of surrender isn’t it, to not worry about what is to come, to not try to control being able to reach a certain outcome. Everytime I read this blog I feel the beauty of truly surrendering and the power of choosing love in life.

  28. Thank you Bianca for a deeply beautiful and inspiring blog, to observe and not absorb instead of reacting is a time when we can hold the other person in love and without judgment. When we surrender the soul guides us by love and unfolds the wisdom that is needed in that moment. I am slowly accepting that I can and do read what is going on.

  29. Observing not Absorbing is the foundation for so much in life, it is beautiful that you were able to “read” what was really going on in that moment, rather than take it personally. I am still developing surrender and I am deeply inspired by those that are also uncovering the power of it.

  30. The willingness to see what is going on beyond an immediate moment is so crucial in life. When you can see that one moment is never isolated but related to a million other moments for someone it’s much easier to not take what happens personally but to approach a situation with more understanding that there may be so much more happening for that person than what is immediately presented in front of you.

  31. I love reading this blog and often come back to it when I need to be reminded of how to be loving and open in a situation.

  32. It is a powerful moment, when we recognise that our capacity to truly behold others in love is so great that the defences and reactions of old no longer hold sway, Bianca. Thank-you for sharing this, and the Grace with which you hold others here. How blessed are all within your sphere.

    1. It’s true – our capacity to love is endless, and there is nothing like being held in that true love no matter what mistakes we make or reactions we produce.

  33. Thank you Bianca, surrendering to the love within oursleves is a true healing for all, this is somehting that I am learning more and more and get to appreciate the simplicity and beauty of life much more than ever before.

  34. I find reaction and anger to be a quick burst, similar to a horse breaking through the barrier before it actually opens. When I do this there is no room for observing and the conversation is then moved into reaction. I’ve been working on pausing and giving myself a moment to feel what has come with the words and then respond. It makes a huge difference.

  35. Likening the act of surrender to a feather feels very appropriate. Many feathers make for wings and you know what you can do with those!
    To learn not to react is a very valuable thing. However, it’s not about being a robot and controlling ourselves. If we react, it can be a signpost to what needs to be looked at. There may be a deeply seated belief that no longer serves a life that is about surrendering to love. It’s all a good learning!

    1. Very true Jinya, it is not about being a robot and following or trusting without discerning. Reacting means we don’t like what we are feeling – but we should appreciate that we are actually feeling in order to have the reaction!!

  36. The alchemy of the God’s magic – no words needed – “I held my family member in absolute love, remembering the gorgeous, tender, precious, loving being they naturally are.Their heated emotion transformed and any anger or hurt they were feeling dissipated from their body. They looked tentatively into my eyes and I met them with a fullness of love and understanding that melted their hesitancy away.”

  37. I can really feel what it would be like to live life in the flow, as a feather responding to it with no reaction or struggle whatsoever. A beautiful analogy that’s very powerful too. Thanks for sharing.

  38. When I considered the picture of the feather floating in the wind, I felt a slight apprehension. I imagined being tossed around in the wind kind of scary, and also purposeless as a victim of circumstance. But I know I love watching feathers reflect playfulness and delicateness, so I read again.

    My heart filled with warmth with this paragraph: “I was totally surrendered to my inner connection, the solid, grounded wisdom that lives within, observing all that was happening around me.”

    All became clear and still. The surrender was no longer to the wind, but a surrender to the depth and the strength of the inner connection within that ensures the elegant, steadiness of the inner essence that is responsible for the harmonious and graceful glide in the wind or any other flow through life.

  39. Surrendering starts with connection. We surrender to what we have connected to. Surrendering is a movement of grace; a clear recognition and appreciation of a magnificence to which we are part of.

  40. Lovely to read this again and feel the depth of joy there is to be had when we literally observe and not absorb.

  41. Thank you for sharing how you clocked unloving thoughts passing through you and you chose not to entertain or engage with them but instead chose to be with the warmth of your heart. To observe, is a choice. To go into reaction, is a choice. And which energy to surrender to is a choice that determines all the choices that follow.

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