Living From Love, Not Hurt

I recently attended a Livingness 1 Workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine. I have attended this and other workshops previously and, whilst each one has held an abundance of light bulb moments, the clarity and understanding in me from this particular one has been exceptionally profound.

I realised that the hurts I’ve absorbed through false beliefs of my ‘failings’ as a woman, mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, employee and neighbour, are how I have encased myself in a seemingly impenetrable suit of armour, burying my natural essence underneath. These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.

Our Essence, you see, is the love we all seek, searching all corners of the globe, stuck in the belief that it’s ‘out there’: in some hidden valley, on top of a mountain, in the deepest ocean, or with a partner, having children, a new body at the gym, a better house or car, a new pair of shoes, that ‘must have’ dress, or chocolate bar after chocolate bar. When all this fails to fulfil, we have turned our quest to outer space, sure that it’s ‘out there’, as deep, deep down, we all know it’s somewhere.

But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer. Take the most amazing sunset/sunrise you have ever seen, the most delicious food you have ever eaten, the joy felt looking into a new love’s eyes, the miracle of childbirth or simply the joy of a child and multiply it by a gazillion… that is our esoteric Essence.

In my experience, the steps to let go of this searching and allow what is inside to flourish have begun with my relationship with myself. This is not something that I have suddenly ‘got’ and am now sitting pretty. This is my life on a daily basis, how I am with myself in each and every moment. It’s about the choices I make when I get out of bed in the morning and how I place my feet on the floor; when I feel what to eat instead of eating what I feel, when I choose what to wear based on what will support the gorgeousness of me and when I connect with everyone, not from my hurts but from my Essence.

Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.

As I went back to work yesterday, full of the knowing of my Essence and the beauty of connecting with people in this way, it wasn’t long before I bought into someone’s pain and allowed it to trigger my own. Almost immediately I began thinking of foods I could eat (mainly the sugary or salty kind) that would allow me to block out the feeling of yuckiness that had invaded my body as I bought into the “it’s all too hard” mentality.

But you know what? It isn’t! The commitment to drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon as well as other Universal Medicine Practitioners, students and friends, I have discovered more of what innately lives inside me. It has always been and continues to be here for me to choose it each second of my unfolding day.

There is no Pollyanna approach here, simply the reality of the truth as presented by Serge Benhayon.

By Julie Ferguson, Brisbane, Complementary-to-Medicine Practitioner

Related Reading:
We are not our Hurts
True Relationships – Being Love First, not Demanding it from Others
The Power of Healing Our Hurts

645 thoughts on “Living From Love, Not Hurt

  1. When we bury our hurts we make them appear bigger than they truly are and in holding onto them instead of letting them go we reconfigure ourselves away from our natural and loving expression.

    1. yes when we don’t deal with our hurts then they take over and before we know it, everything we do seems to come from these hurts. But this is a simple inversion of the truth that we have an essence, which is simply and purely love, and not one ounce of hurt resides there.

    2. Linda it is a really good point that I hadn’t considered, that by not dealing with our hurts they can appear much bigger than they are, kind of like the household chores I put off that I complete very quickly, but the longer I put it off the bigger it seems.

  2. Julie thank you for my ‘ouch’ this morning
    “These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.”
    From this sentence I have to be honest enough to say to myself that I am playing this game too. And this is also a huge exposure of the type of energy we are using to keep ourselves small, rather than admit there is a grandness that we all are evolving back to and this is a completely different energy that we are not logging into.

  3. This is a pretty cool revelation ‘These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence’. As we as this ‘But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer’ Gosh if we came to truly understood these things alone WOW what a difference in the world it would be. And all of this comes down to ‘how we are with ourselves in each moment’.

  4. I love the commitment of waking up and just being up for life, knowing there are a lot to deal with but we are ready for it, because dealing with everything allows us to be in life, not away from it or on the periphery. Committing to life deeply we truly live on earth and to not needing to be here one day.

  5. I love the claiming that I can feel in these words. “But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer”. I so agree with you Julie, that there is nothing that compares or that we want more than to feel and be with our essence.

  6. It’s such a go-to pattern – to let yucky energy in and then try to numb out how this feels. It’s like having too many drinks and keeping on drinking, or feeling full and carrying on eating. Allowing myself to feel what energies I’ve let into my body – sympathy, anger, frustration etc, allows me to see just how familiar my hurts are. The hurts have particular flavours whose familiarity I seek as a comfort even if they come with harmful consequences not just physically but harm my relationships. Living from my essence is a completely different way from which to live that is divinely wise.

    1. Yes I can feel the importance of clocking tension when we feel it and not discounting that we feel it. From there we can at least start making a conscious choice on how we handle it. Thankfully life is a groundhog day, repeating the same opportunity for choice, a fresh choice, every moment of every day.

  7. I love your description of the essence that we truly are Julie. We cannot fathom our own grandness but we can take steps to live it.

  8. Living from love brings a quality to our whole way of being that deepens the more we choose to commit to appreciating and confirming the love we are without compromising ourselves.

  9. That bit about work…we are constantly inviting others to match the energy we are in, it’s like cell osmosis in a way but with energetic quality which is brought through how we live. Just by being me and focusing on my essence others have the chance to align and bring balance or not. Thats pretty cool.

  10. I was told many years ago that when we are born we are given the grace to be able to feel everything and know everything. Is it no wonder that for most of us seeing babies and young toddlers catch at our hearts, because somewhere we too had that joy and innocence they possess naturally. How different life would be if we fostered that yumminess that children have so that they don’t feel they have to give it up in order to fit in with family life and school. I know a few teenagers that have been actively encouraged to hold onto what they know to be true in spite of society encouraging them to enjoin and lose themselves in the ‘teenage’ scene. They are super kind, gentle, very responsible, hard working young men and woman and it is an absolute please to be around them and know them. They are so full of life and vitality which you don’t see so much any more in anyone.

    1. Yes, we so do a disservice to our teenagers and society when we pass off the behaviour’s of teenagers who are self-abusive, verbally abusive and struggling with life as ‘normal’ teenage behaviour. We don’t offer loving guidance and boundaries that support them to respect themselves and us all so we see behaviour that reflects this lack of love on our part. It’s wonderful to know teenagers who are supported to stay true to who they truly are and a joy to be around them.

  11. We can hold ourselves to ransom for our perceived ‘failings’ which in the end just distracts us from the otherwise innate and whole love that we are.

  12. We have to understand that it is holding onto hurts that make us rely on or go to those behaviors that are detrimental to our health and wellbeing, the moment we bring awareness to this and are willing to let go of that which is in the past and no longer belongs in our bodies the more we create space to live from the essence of who we truly are. And that is a blessing for all.

  13. Absorbing another’s emotions is poison to the body. Choosing to honour our selves and stay connected to our essence allows for us to observe what is going on and get a handle on the situation. From this understanding, staying with ourselves, we can maintain an equilibrium and not get caught up in the complications that could otherwise ensue. In a sense it is about getting ourselves out of the way and coming from a place of love.

  14. Julie, a great blog highlighting that it is worth building a consistency in our daily choices to develop a solidness of connection with our essence and live from this true quality and foundation.

    1. Yes, it makes a solid foundation to stand on that supports us in moments where we get swept up in a drama or an emotional situation. The foundation catches you and reminds you that you are not, never will be and never have been, alone.

  15. To let go of the search outside ourselves requires us to become open to the possibility that it’s not out there but within us. This is a hard nut to crack with all the prince charming, happy ever after, we have been drip fed since birth. What started the turnaround for me was feeling a glimpse of my essence and knowing that was what I missed.

  16. When we are willing to be honest with ourselves we will discover the truth, that who we are within is far greater that any hurt that we play into. When we live from our love we meet another in honor of the essence we all are within, as such offering true connection as we develop real relationships.

  17. “In my experience, the steps to let go of this searching and allow what is inside to flourish have begun with my relationship with myself ” Letting go of the searching outside – something I too excelled in for many years – feels the simplest way to return back to the true me. ‘The kingdom of God is inside you’ is even a truth found in the bible.

  18. I have discovered that when I finally let go of my hurts that I had been using as a protection against the world that there was indeed something very special about me. This feeling in my body I could not deny. And I came to the understanding that this was my essence, that it had been there all the time but I had buried it underneath all the hurts which I had stacked on top and my hurts were what I had been concentrating on; they took all my attention. Reconnecting back to me, back to my essence, is like coming home after being away for a long time and feeling how familiar everything is and how natural it is to just be me.

  19. We certainly do put a lot of energy into things that don’t support us – as you have listed and shared here – I did all of those things not to feel what was missing and try to fill it with something else. But what a lot of energy that is that can go towards self loving choices.

  20. Living life from a place of how I feel despite what the world tells me I should be doing or what would make me accepted, is a choice from a strong connection with ourselves, this is our livingness of the love felt within and the process of expressing it honestly on the outside. We may feel a bit different from others, but our choice to live from a connected body is a reflection many are thirsting to see and feel.

  21. ‘Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.’ This is beautiful Julie; we make space for all our relationships to be more true when we build this deeper relationship with ourselves – such a powerful flow on effect that is felt by everyone.

  22. This is a very beautiful example that we haver already everything that we need, we only need to tap into it and stop chasing all the ideas and images about life that we have.

  23. I love how you have presented that it always is a commitment whether that is with abuse or with love. We are having a relationship with something. And the question is what with.

  24. Nothings ever too hard I am understanding, but that doesn’t stop me throwing in the towel and running for the cupboard sometimes. But recently I have started a self talk with myself that really did work when I was in a state, not wanting to feel something and going into a complete tantrum like a three year old. Was that everything in life moves, changes and shifts, even hurts are not as static or solid or rigid as we give the power of belief and illusion to them. In a years time what hurts me now will be a distant memory. And as I reminded myself of this, and asked what my responsibility was, the hurt and the issue dissipated. And this happens so often, once the hurt has been nominated, it moves and 10 minutes, 30 minutes later it’s like it never existed yet was being held onto for years.

  25. Hurts are strange things. On the one hand, they are like inbuilt automatic mechanisms that put us on alert in specific situations in the name of not wanting to repeat the experience of being hurt again. The problem with hurts is that this is not just it. Hurts are also what stops us to surrender to beauty and to love, hence to the beauty that life has on offer for us. It is a bit like hurts offer us a ‘safe path’ where we can build a distant relation with life: life cannot reach us and we cannot reach it either. When we choose hurts to dominate our movements we are saying no to life and to ourselves.

  26. How easily I forget sometimes the magnitude of my essence and how easy it is to come back to it each and every time, simply by choice.

  27. The real, raw And honest truth – that we are everything we have ever sought for and that it is only a simple return to that, forget all the foolishness we have made life to be, and start to re-know this fact and you safe yourself very dearly and trustfully lovingly.

  28. I love the Livingness 1 workshop, the last time I attended it felt so powerful to feel my own love and power of that love held deep within and feel the same love equally in everyone that attended the course that day, knowing that we as humanity are that love.

  29. Commitment is commitment, no matter what you choose to give your Will to, to focus on, good or bad, its commitment. I love that you have reminded me of this because sometimes I think things get too hard but I never gave up when I was trashing myself back in the old days and so, I should be extremely impressed that I am able to continue to heal, by choice, my old patterns.

    1. I agree Leonne for when we take responsibility for how our own life has and is unfolding we bring far more understanding to where we are at and why.

  30. Good point – seeing we already have a commitment to all the things that undermine and sabotage us, how about committing to what is true and thus supports us to live joyfully and in harmony.

    1. Yes a great reminder Gabriele, many people are committed to abusing themselves, so if the same amount of energy was put into nurturing and caring for oneself their lives would become more loving and true.

  31. What a simple, powerful and wise message; live from love not our hurts. As you have suggested Julie we do this by allowing what is inside, our true essence, to flourish.

  32. I know that when I carry my body in the hurts then I don’t see things clearly, I see them from the protection and so I see a skewed version of things not the reality of what is going on and then I often react or personalise things and am not able to read situations clearly as they are tainted by my hurts.

  33. When we live from love we know deep within the quality we are with ourselves in each and every moment which deepens our awareness and connection to our inner knowing and our natural way of being.

  34. You are right Julie – it isn’t ‘too hard’ at all for we work harder in not being this Essence in truth. And to be honest, even if it is hard work, it is worth every moment along the way.

  35. Julie, this is so simple and very beautiful; ‘Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.’ This makes absolute sense and yet this is not something we commonly hear or read.

  36. It is indeed simple and just needs dedication and an understanding that in each moment I can build and can deepen the relation with me. It is 180 degree
    turn around of my life where my primary focus is the connection with me, and then everything outside me, including the connection with my partner.

  37. Julie what you say is so true, we put such effort into
    “drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.”
    I like you I now give myself the commitment to really look after myself and take myself into consideration all the time and it’s paying off because I can actually feel this other part of me that is truly beautiful to feel and now, of course, I’m wondering why did I leave it until my 60’s to discover this other part of me as you say my essence. Well my excuse is that I didn’t meet Serge Benhayon until my 50’s and its taken 10 years to let go of my own resistance to me! How daft is that!!

  38. It is a choice to either stay caught in hurt and reaction or to make love one´s priority. Just the intention of making life about love means a change of game. As soon as we turn towards love, love ‘turns towards’ us, ie. we give love permission to come our way and enter. Without such openness love is still at offer but we will tend to be blind and closed off and hence ignorant to it while we are focused on being protected and avoiding to get hurt.

  39. We have identified with our hurts so much that when we seek love we actually don´t know anymore what love truly is, ie the version of love we will settle for is not true love at all but an emotional substitute that will assure that we don´t need to open up again to what we actually are longing for as it would require to let the guard down and face our hurts, take responsibility and heal. As long as we are not willing to go there we will seek love outside and won’t be able to reconnect to the abundance of love within.

  40. Like day and night, either living from hurt and reaction or the love that resides within, is the difference of how life looks like and one´s whole approach to and relationship with every aspect of life. As every type of energy seeks more of itself so does hurt look for confirmation to stay in the hurt and protecting attitudes and so does love, resonating with and magnetically pulling more love. The choice is ours, what posture do we take, in every moment another choice confirming itself.

  41. What I love about the Universal Medicine workshops is that it does not matter if we have attended them before or not, you still get so much out of them. I recall how I used to wonder why some people repeated workshops, and then one year I decided to repeat a Level 1 Healing workshop – I wanted to support any new people who were doing it for the first time. When I attended the workshop, even though I was somewhat familiar with the techniques we learned, because Serge presents each workshop from a different angle and with a different ‘twist’, it was like I was attending a brand new work shop – I was delighted! This is similar to Serge’s books where there are so many layers of blessings that one can receive – each time that you read a book of his, there is something different you get from them and it is almost like reading a brand new book!

  42. Nothing in this world can deliver what we truly want – but it does a great job and giving us everything to distract us away from the fact that everything we seek is already within and we already are that everything.

  43. A gorgeous reminder of what love is and what is not. And so our hurts are just showing us where we have not been loving. Thank you Julie.. We need to come back to who we are and need to live the love instantly.

  44. Exactly Julie. The same dedication that we use to take ourselves off- track and then to hold ourselves together with can be used to choosing wisely and lovingly.

    1. Love your point Lyndy! Dedication can be strong for us, but we must ask – dedication to what? Dedication is certainly our strength when we follow the compass of our inner hearts.

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