I Wanted to Belong to Life

I wanted to belong to life so I looked around at what was on offer.

“Join me” . . .  said the sporting club, we will cheer for you and you for us, we will leave it all on the field and you will learn to be your best. So I joined and belonged to everyone – but not to me.

“Join me” . . . said the religion of my parents, we will eat, drink, pray together; you will be part of a community that has thousands of years of history to belong to. So I joined and belonged to the community – but did not belong to me.

“Join me” . . . said the fiction writer, you will be swept away by my stories and have things to discuss with those around you, so I joined and had stories to tell – but none my own.

“Join me” . . . said my friends, we will drink together, party together, have meals at fancy restaurants and get up to mischief in the small hours of the morning, so I joined and belonged with my friends – but not with me.

“Join me” . . . said my partner, we will start a family, you will be Dad, I will be Mum and we will be parents, partners and lovers together, so I joined and belonged to the relationship – but not to me.

I wanted to belong to life but got stuck along the way. I felt frustrated and tired – very tired; I was tired to my bones, tired to a place that all of my efforts amounted to naught and all I was left with were the things that “took the edge off.”

BUT . . . I wanted to belong to life and to begin with, hated what Universal Medicine presented.

Universal Medicine presented it was important to care about me, it said to consider belonging to me before I could really feel belonging with others. It presented the power is in you but that tiredness you feel is the result of avoiding that power . . . I wanted to belong to life but when you are tired, when you are sceptical, this is not what you want to hear.

BUT . . . I wanted to belong to life so I tried what Universal Medicine presented.

It has been challenging at times, it has taken commitment, my life is not and will never be perfect, but I can meet with family and friends and that meeting is what I appreciate more than any food we eat. I can work with clients and the quality of the work can mean more than any pay cheque.

I have a religious way of life that places God and me on equal footing in terms of light and responsibility for the wellbeing of myself and the world.

I have found a place within where I belong that no one else can touch or call into question. A place of humility, a place of sacredness and a place from which I no longer NEED to belong because I am with me always.

I wanted to belong to life but really, really, really wanted, and now belong, to me.

By Joel Levin, Australia

 Joel Levin Joel Levin, is a student of life, himself and The Way of The Livingness. With a deep interest in what makes people and groups productive, effective and joyful to be around.

For the full back catalogue of Joel Levin’s writing, visit: www.joellevin.net

Related Reading:
Living Religion: my Livingness is Religion
Living Religion: a Relationship with Self, Love and God
The Outlier – Thanks to The Way of The Livingness

694 thoughts on “I Wanted to Belong to Life

  1. I find it incredibly inspiring to consider myself as being on equal terms with God, as being “…on equal footing in terms of light and responsibility for the wellbeing of myself and the world.” It’s not a responsibility I feel I step up to in every moment but it is for sure something that I am working on making much more consistent in my life.

  2. The things we do to our body, because we want to belong are quite harming. This actually gives away that it is not of truth, because the truth would never damage our body.

  3. Great blog Joel, I could so feel the need we have to be accepted and belong, yet the cycle continues because we are always searching, and through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have found my inner essence which is who I am and where I belong.

  4. This is a before and after in its written form. I have seen the photos too that show the changes from that frustrated and very tired person you describe here, who made changes where I now know the committed and deeply religious man you are.

  5. To be me thus to belong to me, is one of the greatest gifts and teachings inspired through Universal Medicine. I’m finding how the continuance of self-possession really is the key to a healthy and purposeful life.

  6. There are so many things outside of us that seek to ‘grab’ us in some way, and because we as human beings seek to belong in some way, in fact we yearn for this and hence we can fall hook line and sinker for these outside distractions. However, these will always remain as the ‘outside’ distractions and nothing more or less. And as Joel has so beautifully shared here, it is all about returning to our relationship with ourselves first and foremost, and this is the foundation of our relationship with our Soul and with God, and hence our true home is to belong first and foremost to ourselves.

  7. What a sweet, poignant and touching blog, Joel – I cannot believe that this one has escaped by blog reading frenzies! 🙂 Absolutely love it, and it has hit home for me – so beautiful to be reminded of how important we are and how important our relationship is with ourselves as this is what truly brings the meaning to life and all interactions around us.

  8. We make fitting into life so important, but what kind of life are we fitting into? When I recognise that I belong to myself and that my choices determine the quality of my life, it becomes truly extraordinary.

  9. It is beautiful how you share, your search to belong to things and others, when in truth you wanted to belong to you. I know how this feels as I was on this search for along time too, and was always tired. Now and again I loose this focus and find myself tired. As soon as I connect back to myself, the tiredness fades.

  10. To belong to me, means I can drop all that striving to belong to a spiritual group that holds a version of the truth of who I am. Conversely, to feel the truth of who I am within my inner heart relieves the need to look outside of myself.

  11. Beautiful Joel and now when we meet you we meet who you are and not all the ‘things’ you were attached to.

  12. Yes, wanting to belong is something well known to me and it took me years and years to come to what you have shared here, that the only thing I really wanted was to belong to me, to reconnect to who I am.

    1. Yes, I can relate to this too Annelies. Now I know how to reconnect to who I am and feel I belong to me. That sense of feeling lost is no longer present and the need to search for things to fill the gaps are no longer there either, this shift has been huge and it is thanks to Universal Medicine that I now have the tools to reconnect to who I am.

  13. Thank you Joel, touching true and loving.. It is so true, we only get very tired if we avoid living why we are here — to be our unique expression and take responsibility for the energy we live, either love or non-love.

  14. Once we connect to our inner sense of belonging we have no need to belong to other cultural organisations that fulfil this need for so many. Once we can let go of this neediness we can share our joy and sense of lightness with everyone else.

    1. Helen, so true letting go of this neediness frees us to stay connected to the joy we truly are and the sense of lightness in our bodies.

      1. True Amita for that seemingly insatiable neediness of constantly looking outside ourselves for what lies within has us looking and moving totally in the wrong direction.

    2. Beautifully said Helen, and in my experience this is a gradual process that is on-going…an incremental unfolding that in each step reveals another layer of freedom from a need, and hence a showing of my true colours to share with the world, as opposed to a sense of seeking to belong to something external.

  15. The craving to belong leads us down many blind alleys until we are introduced to the person we have been missing all along – ourselves! Love the way you have expressed this Joel and brought such a clarity to a painful subject.

  16. It is the most amazing feeling when we finally return to ourselves and let go of the search to belong to things outside of us. Also, it is interesting to reflect how many things in our world are constantly enticing us to join them, as a way to distract us from returning to the connection with ourselves.

  17. I am humbled by the depth of awareness you share Joel – of how we give our power away to people, events, organisations etc through joining them in various events but not taught how to remain in connection to our innermost essence and belong to ourselves and be with God.

  18. Reading this made me think how we can sometimes join a group as a result of seeking an identity, a way of defining who we are as an individual, so somewhat ironically enjoining a group to delineate who we are as an individual… And I really get what you mean about coming home to yourself, re-connecting with your innermost essence and from there feeling a fullness that doesn’t need to belong to something outside of you, but is open to sharing that essence.

    1. Wow Fiona, yes to that. We want to belong and belong and belong, but rarely consider that what we miss is ourselves, our truth, our love, our expansion and power.

  19. Thank you Joel. I Iove the simplicity and intimacy with which you write and the truth you are willing to share.

  20. Another powerful and insightful blog Joel that resonates deep within my body as I re-read the truth of your words. Thank you!
    “I have found a place within where I belong that no one else can touch or call into question. A place of humility, a place of sacredness and a place from which I no longer NEED to belong because I am with me always”.

  21. It can be hard to remember that we belong to ourselves, particularly when life gets too close and we feel there is no space for us. But in those times, if we just take a moment to appreciate one tiny thing, this brings in the space we need to feel ourselves again.

  22. Enjoining another in what they are doing or saying does not necessarily mean there is any true connection there; connection is something that starts within us first that we can then share with another. Universal Medicine truly offers tools and guidance on how we can simply re-connect with our inner-most and bring that quality back out into all our relationships.

  23. ” I have found a place within where I belong that no one else can touch or call into question. A place of humility, a place of sacredness and a place from which I no longer NEED to belong because I am with me always. ”
    What a learning thank you for sharing Joel.

    1. Yes we all do want to belong, when we loose sight of our connection we end on a search. Bringing it back to our own connection brings it back.

  24. ‘I have a religious way of life that places God and me on equal footing in terms of light and responsibility for the wellbeing of myself and the world.’ Wow I love reading this. It evaporates all victim and blame stuff instantly and brings a responsibility to me that is based on God knowing who I truly am and that I can be trusted despite any of my man-made self-doubt. Feeling the trust placed in me, this knowing ,is very confirming of who I am, like we all are and how stark the irresponsibility most live is so obvious.

  25. I belong to me. And with this knowing I also honour the fact that this ‘me’ is not an isolated fragment existing on its own, but rather is part of a stupendous All we each make up an important piece of.

  26. This is such a profound sharing – wanting to belong comes up in so many ways, and the more I have thought about it, the more I have felt the need at times. Surrendering to the feeling and being ok with it, is far more settling than resisting and trying to talk myself out of what I have felt. And like a miracle, things shift – feeling what we are avoiding is like magic, yet it is a choice, one that gets confirmed as we accept who we are as we are.

    1. I agree Sandra – if I am in to resistance to something it becomes even more of a battle with the mind and my body just gets more contracted. Surrendering deeper to whatever is presented is like a miracle and a deeper level of healing is experienced.

  27. I used to think that belonging to something and identifying with a certain lifestyle, was obligatory and I struggled with this but thanks to Universal Medicine and as I become more aware of energy and how it plays out i become steadier in myself and realise that, in truth the quality of the true me is central to everything and as you say belonging to me is all that really matters, from there on in all else falls into place.

  28. The need to belong can own us if we are not prepared to stand as who we are and not change for anyone. It’s definitely something I’m still learning. What I find is that joining someone, rather than maintaining the integrity, steadiness and strength of who I am, is almost a game of hide and seek, like a chameleon blending in, it’s the ultimate form protection. But what in truth is compromised in this situation? And is it ever worth it?

  29. ” I have found a place within where I belong that no one else can touch or call into question. A place of humility, a place of sacredness and a place from which I no longer NEED to belong because I am with me always.” lovely Joel and l love the photo it verifies what’s said here. Thank you.

  30. So many seek to fill a void, a lack within themselves, and seek to do so by taking up one or many of the identities life so tantalisingly presents. This is all part of feeding an endless cycle of seeking from outside us, because we a not and never will be our identities. We are who we are, beautiful delicious and deeply loving beings. All we need to do is live it.

  31. When we try to belong to something because we feel empty inside we often are willing to just let go of what we feel is true just to belong and be liked. When we love ourselves this tendency gets much less and then we can truly be with others in our fullness.

    1. Beautiful reminder when we love ourselves then we can truly be with others in our fullness. We are no longer wanting to belong.

  32. I used to feel that I was looking through the window at a party I desperately wanted to go when the door was open all along. No longer – I am a bystander waiting for life to begin, I have claimed it and live it without perfection and love every moment. Thank you Serge Benhayon.

  33. What an amazing blog. We all want to belong and I know the efforts I’d made to do so are so tiring. It’s like I started off with the premise that I don’t belong when actually what if I do?!

    So all the efforts I’ve put into friendships (which has sometimes felt like a chore even!) have come from a place of trying to belong because part of belonging I’ve seen is having friends.But trying to be a friend and make the effort to be liked is not a relationship based on a quality that is true or loving. I’ve been inspired by people who are simply themselves and people who appreciate their quality love being around them – there’s not been a trying bone to be seen, only joy.

    And it’s not about me not being with people it’s about me feeling inspired to be with others, and also when to be with myself quietly. It’s about me being there for me, not worried about being by myself. I used to use people’s company just so I would be by myself with me. This is no basis for any relationship. Coming back to me is the belonging I have searched for.

  34. There is nothing like standing there knowing who you are and that you are enough. There is no need to be anything or act in a certain way – just be you, and that’s ok because at that moment you have everything and you want nothing.

  35. That wanting to belong is something that so many of us have, its something that we can think there is an easy answer for but until I came to Universal Medicine I never considered I had to first belong to me, to connect to me and then I am part of the all and that need to belong is no longer there as we all belong to the all.

  36. In my experience the depth of connection that we can feel or have with another comes from the depth of connection we have first with ourself and our willingness to then be open and share that with another.

  37. When we live in separation to our true self, we live in separation to all others also. In this space, the ache of the ‘loss’ will leave us craving to ‘belong’ and thus weak to the call of all that seeks to fill us with an external source void of the love that we are.

    1. So simply explained and so supportive to keep hearing. When we start seeking outside of ourselves we just need to make a U-Turn back to who we are.

  38. I feel like this is exactly what we allll want! We don’t want to feel like we have to do something to feel something, that’s why we’re all so exhausted, because we are trying so hard allllll the time. We’re so clouded by all the stuff in our faces pulling us in several directions. It appears, there is another way to go about it…and whilst it might feel like a secret, it’s the thing staring us in the face!

  39. Love what you have shared Joel, as I was one who Loved what Universal Medicine presented from day one. Then I started to understand that there was more to life than meets the eye and released changes were a-foot. “Universal Medicine presented it was important to care about me, it said to consider belonging to me before I could really feel belonging with others.” So after nearly 15 years I am still on a learning curve but at-least now I am starting to get a deeper understanding of what and how a True relationship with self is all about.

  40. I know that feeling of wanting to belong to something, I did search high and low, always looking outside of myself. The ache that it caused me within my body in doing so felt like it would never go away. It only did when I found how to connect deeply within myself.

  41. Beautiful Joel, when you look at it this way life can be like a stream of arrangements we get comfort from. Whether it’s sporting teams, countries or jobs, we have labels we can hide behind. All of this is a distraction from the true group we are in – being a Son of God. As long as we forget that this is who we are, we’ll fall and be sucked in to pale substitutes because we know deep down that we belong to a much bigger whole.

  42. “I have found a place within where I belong that no one else can touch or call into question. A place of humility, a place of sacredness and a place from which I no longer NEED to belong because I am with me always.” This is beautiful Joel – and it shows, that you belong to you.

  43. At the end of the day, there is not one thing in this world that can substitute the fulfillment and enrichment of living in connection to who we are within, where our relationship with God, the universe and all is one and the same, very much alive and known as our natural way of being.

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