A Four Week Computer Course with Simon Asquith that Changed my Life

A bold statement you may think but allow me to elaborate. Last year I signed up for a basic four week computer course with Simon Asquith. Up until that point my relationship with computers had been, what can only be described as ‘rather strained’. My relationship was ok as long as I stuck to basic emailing and didn’t try to do anything new, but as soon as I tried to do anything new, I invariably ended up spending what felt like an inordinate length of time repeating the same dead end moves over and over again, getting increasingly more frustrated, until I eventually had some sort of minor breakdown.

And as far as my relationship with social media went, well we were not even on speaking terms, I had blanked her from the very beginning.

On gathering online in week one, it was of no surprise at all to find out that the other 3 woman on the course were of a similar age to me and a brief chat was enough to reveal that we all shared similar experiences and feelings about our relationship with computers and social media; that is, apart from one of the other women who had been working with Simon previously and whose relationship with computers was enviably healthier.

So after our initial sharing I was keen to get on and learn, I sat poised, ready to put pen to paper, eager to write down some steps that would enable me to ‘friend someone’ on Facebook or tweet a funny incident on Twitter. I could feel the frustration in my body rise when Simon suggested that we delve a little deeper into our relationship with computers. I didn’t have time for that, or so I felt. So it was with some reluctance that I sat and listened to what the others had to say.

What I found astonishing is the speed with which things transpired for everyone in the group. With the gentle and masterful guidance of Simon, we were each able to start to unpick the stitches – that up until that point, had held a rather taut canopy over our view of our relationship with computers and indeed technology in general. What I began to clearly see, is that I was actually invested in my relationship with computers and social media being difficult. You see, when I got honest with myself, I discovered that I like to see myself as someone who doesn’t ‘run with the herd’ and so as the herd were all running with social media, I was intent on running the other way!

In an instant I was able to recall that I had been the last person that I knew to get a mobile phone and then having got a phone, (reluctantly and purely out of necessity) I was the last person to get a smart phone. Specific instances seemed to be automatically coming up from my body, as if some invisible secretary had been sent to find files that would serve as evidence for my newly awakened suspicions. For example, I recalled being asked by a security guard for my mobile phone number and with a silent drum roll, I shared that I didn’t have a phone. I then waited rather expectantly for some sort of recognition. The level of surprise in his voice about the fact that I didn’t have a phone, was hardly detectable – but like a junky who has just found a spec of heroin, I snuffled it up none the less.

Similarly I recalled getting lost on the way to see my son play basketball. I pulled over and asked someone for directions, they used their phone to look up where the courts were and enquired as to how come I didn’t have that facility on my phone. Ah wonderful, another opportunity to show how special I was. What seemed to escape me completely was that in order for me to seemingly stand out from the crowd, for what amounted to a matter of seconds, I was actually choosing to make life pretty damn hard for myself!

What I have come to understand from attending presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is that the part of me that I can feel that is on the constant lookout for any skerrick of recognition is called the spirit, and it is forever looking to know itself through identification. The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul, which is the inner-most part of all of us. When I glimpse my soul, I can feel how voluminous it is and how it needs nothing to confirm itself, it is, in itself a living knowingness.

As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others. I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came.

As if I hadn’t accumulated enough evidence already, another more recent scenario resurfaced from my body. I had gone to lunch with work colleagues and the conversation had turned to Facebook. I was the only person on the table who wasn’t on Facebook and I could feel myself absolutely relishing the attention that I was getting. I was confirmed, again just for the length of time that the spotlight was on me and my spirit was loving the time and attention!

What I was getting to see more and more clearly was that it was actually ‘me that had set up my whole dire relationship with technology and social media. My relationship with technology and social media was simply a reflection of a part of me that wanted to stand out from the crowd.

What I have shared so far, I shared effortlessly with the computer course group but what I am about to share, had to be manually wrenched from my own throat. For most of my life I have felt like I was in competition with others, l felt that life was a bit like a horse race and I was constantly vying for position. As part of the imagined race, I had at times done things to hinder others’ attempts to get, what I perceived to be, ‘ahead of me’. What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me. There, I said it.

As these revelations came out of my body, I could feel invisible blocks being lifted, I knew that my relationship with technology and social media had already changed. However it was not just my relationship with technology and social media that had shifted, because the revelation that Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves. Once we go into thinking that it is the object or indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us that has set it in motion.

I cannot finish this article without thanking Simon Asquith for the tender care with which he held and guided the group and for the opportunity to see and feel the true beauty and vulnerability that is naturally held within all men. When the group commented on the extraordinary wisdom that Simon was bringing through, he graciously side stepped the compliments but the truth is, it is his dedication to the way that he lives that allows such love and wisdom to flow through him.

By Alexis Stewart, a woman who is coming to feel her true worth, partner of an increasingly beautiful man, mum to a stunning boy, dedicated student of The Way of The Livingness, Care worker, Yoga Teacher

Related Reading:
I am Amazing just for Being Me
From Recognition to True Love – One Student’s Unfolding
Our Relationship with Ourselves is the Start of All Things

577 thoughts on “A Four Week Computer Course with Simon Asquith that Changed my Life

  1. We make things so complicated and difficult. We run programs in our mind to tell ourselves everything is hard, when the truth is completely the opposite. All we have to do is choose to make things simple. Take action and embrace any obstacle we face, but see apparent difficulty as a creation of our mind and the illusion that it it is. Thank you Alexis for this blog and showing how the way we self sabotage just does not compute.

  2. Hi Alexis, some great points here, and it’s an interesting study to what’s underneath our decisions and how things play out. We can get caught up on the physical surface of why we think we do certain things, that we just don’t want a phone etc, but it’s actually very much to do with our relationship with ourselves and evolution.

    1. Indeed Melinda and something that I keep returning to, is something that Serge Benhayon has presented repeatedly and that is that ‘everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy’ and so if I am resistant to something, there must be an energy that is impulsing that resistance and as all resistance is a sign that there is an energetic force at play that is working directly against soul energy, then this is a clear flag that there is something for me to look more closely at.

  3. Great point that Simon raised it can be so easy to blame the computer or technology for our misgivings or failure to learn when we haven’t built a true relationship with ourselves first and have not considered this as part of the learning.. I know the more I use something on a regular basis the more comfortable I am with venturing into knowing more about it but I can also see where there are blocks that i don’t even try to explore. This is where a loving caring teacher like Simon is a great support to shift these blocks by showing how simple and easy it can be if we are loving and supportive with ourselves first.

  4. I understand that everything in life is about relationships, but the way you used this word in this blog Alexis made me consider, that perhaps what you share here about computers has a lot to offer me in relation to how I am with others. I often think I am doing everything I can, but am somehow doomed to experience ongoing issues. What I am not seeing is that I’m creating these difficulties myself with my self-fulfilling prophesy style beliefs. What if there are simple and practical things I can do right now that would make my day to day life easy? It’s might not compute but you’ve helped me see, it’s completely possible.

  5. “…our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” – Great realisation Alexis and one I agree with for sure; we have the opportunity to learn and grow from everything if we are willing to see the part we are contributing to any situation..

  6. A deeply inspiring article Alexis, exposing how the spirit constantly likes to identify itself and how this stops us evolving when we choose to live this way.

  7. The spirit, the part of us that seeks recognition and identification at any price, doesn’t care whether we do it via excelling at something or playing dumb – the end result is the same and we are finally at the receiving end of people’s fleeting attention. And so the cycle gets perpetuated – as we scheme and somehow manoeuvre ourselves from one such occasion to another.

    1. Gabriele if only people’s attention was at least ‘fleeting’ then our unquenchable thirst could be better understood, but most of the time we are fishing for attention in a sea of disinterest.

  8. All other relationships are a reflection of our relationship with the aspects of who we truly are. This takes the focus and blame off the other or object. Much needed at the moment as blaming and aggression feels horrible.

  9. Matilda, ‘surrendering control’ is something that I keep coming back to, to work on, as it is something that I have cemented into my life since I was a teenager. I brought control in, in a desperate bid to try to limit the potential unease I would feel if things didn’t go the way that I wanted them to. So what I have now surmised from that, is that I have to have very set ideas about how things should be or people should behave in order for me to want things to be a certain way. The antidote therefore is for me to let go of any pictures or ideals about how I imagine things should be and just allow them to be the way that they naturally are.

  10. There are many ways in which we hamper ourselves and interrupt the natural expression of our qualities in life. Surrendering control and listening in to what my body reveals is key for me in staying real, honest and in a developmental and respectful relationship with myself.

    1. Matilda, ‘surrendering control’ is something that I keep coming back to, to work on, as it is something that I have cemented into my life since I was a teenager. I brought control in, in a desperate bid to try to limit the potential unease I would feel if things didn’t go the way that I wanted them to. So what I have now surmised from that, is that I have to have very set ideas about how things should be or people should behave in order for me to want things to be a certain way. The antidote therefore is for me to let go of any pictures or ideals about how I imagine things should be and just allow them to be the way that they naturally are.

  11. If we make our connection to one another our priority then everything else will naturally follow, the trouble is, we have made everything else our priority, which is why very little of any real value is flowing.

  12. Thank you Alexis for such an honest and clear account of your learning on the computer course. It is awesome how much we can expand our awareness when we are willing and how much we can change old patterns that are really not supporting us but actually hindering our growth and evolution, our return to soul.

  13. The more that we connect to our soul through our livingness the more we notice the shenanigans of the spirit and the way it has been running the show offering no evolution just indulgences for self. Our soul is all knowing with no need for recognition or identification just a reflection of true movements that offer true evolution for all.

  14. What takes a great amount of strength is being able to admit in public with so much honesty the way of life lived under your spirits’ control. But what makes this such an easy thing to do, is when the soul has been re-connected with because then the folly of the spirit is clear and plain to see, and then to expose this is actually a freedom that wants to be expressed again and again.

  15. Although I can relate to the social media thing and have chosen to find it all tedious, and difficult (which deep down I know it isn’t, as this gets proven to me over and over), I have recently discovered that my relationship with maths is similar to this situation – telling myself that math is too hard. This has set me up for a life of being less, and shying away from opportunities just because there may be math involved. By putting the spotlight onto this lie, I am actually finding that I enjoy math, and although my re-introduction with it is at a very basic stage, I am willing to see where this leads.

    1. Julie your sharing has triggered a similar acknowledgement in me, also about maths. In fact I have a resistance to numbers per se and as numbers feature in so many things this resistance has kept me away from getting involved in many things, including my own financial matters. There is a huge part of my life and life in general that I avoid simply because of my self imposed beliefs about numbers. To add that for me however it feels different to my previous relationship with social media, my poor relationship with numbers started with a belief that began at school about my ability with maths, as opposed to my resistance to social media which stemmed from a thirst for identity. Hmmmm on second thoughts both have their roots in identity.

  16. To explore the layers upon which we make a particular choice is to take responsibility for the patterns we have set up and gets us to the nitty gritty of our impulses… the more I do this the freer I am and I find it really inspiring.

  17. A beautiful sharing Alexis thank you, I am so inspired by your blog to look into my own relationship with social media and my reluctance to further take part in it. Simon brings so much love and wisdom to all that he offers , I am wondering about taking a course with him to get over my own blocks.

    1. Jill social media was, in some ways a red herring. The fact of the matter is that I had built up an identity around the subject of social media but the truth is, it could have been a million other things and indeed, over my lifetime I have been identified with an endless amount of different things. I can think of no better investment other than in some sessions with Simon to start to break down these false beliefs.

  18. I have had a slow burning relationship with computers, it was really bad back in the early days and I put off buying my own computer as long as I could because if I owned one, I would have to figure out how to write. My block has been all around my perceived writing and reading abilities. I had no problem getting the newest phones because talking was not an issue, I refused to send any kind of text messages that were beyond a few words though. Emails were a huge challenge for me and also taking directions that required me to read, which was everything! hahah. Anyway, its beautiful that there are people like Simon out there to support us to look at the real issues, rather than hide behind the excuses. I am proud to say that my reading and writing has improved dramatically and I now am writing and sending emails with much more ease, the beautiful thing is, there is always more to expand and there is no end point.

  19. I recently recommended this blog to a friend. When we were talking about computers and our relationship with it, I immediately thought of your blog Alexis. It is such a brilliant blog.

  20. I too can vouch for the deep sense of calm and understanding that Simon brings when it comes to IT stuff. He has a way of being at ease with it, whilst acknowledging that it can be a tricky domaine to manoever in. And with his ease, he holds your hand as you explore it and come to terms with accepting that we are far grander than anything of IT could ever present. Thank you Simon for your wisdom and sharing of it with us all.

  21. Wow. A difficult relationship of any sort is actually a hinderance of our own making. Your blog helps me to see that letting go of these abusive ways is as simple as being honest and understanding with myself.

  22. I’ve just started a ‘Simon’ computer course and everything you have stated, Alexis about Simon Asquith’s presentation is my experience. Firstly what Simon presents is not just the nuts and bolts about how it works, but our actual relationship with technology. He has a very insightful and wise understanding that it is first about our relationship with technology, the opportunities technology offers us has a humanity and to expose any blocks such as what you have shared Alexis that gets in the way. Once we bring all this to the ‘workings’ of the computer, it is a whole new experience, I have discovered, it is one of openness, and ease, and not to leave out a confidence that is emerging…no more mystery around the computer. It is not mysterious at all.

  23. Alexis, I can so relate to what you have shared in this article, thank you for your honesty and for being willing to go there, it exposes a lot in my relationship with technology and social media.

  24. A brilliant exposure of the smallest of detail can bring recognition and approval from another, rather than accepting ourselves. Thank you Alexis – an inspiring read.
    “I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came”.

  25. Yesterday I attended my first IT online class with Simon and Wow, it was an unravelling and so gently powerful! Like Alexis I’m seeing my problems with technology have actually been more about a pattern of disregard and not completing things and holding back in other areas of my life too … it was so important to feel that before diving into the practicalities of how to get things in order!

  26. It’s fantastic to re-read your blog this morning Alexis as yesterday I attended one of Simon Asquith’s great ‘Media Classes’ – (soon to be re-titled Master Class for sure!). What was shared was the essence of your sharing, which is the experience we are having is based on our own approach and relationship with our computer. The computer can’t offer more than we are willing to share of our own willingness. Like all relationships we are pivotal in the quality that is reflected back.

  27. Yes, yes and yes and when we don’t bring our love and care to something then it feels dead and lifeless. The love and care that we are speaking of is actually ‘us’ and so what we are in fact saying is ‘when we bring us to whatever it is that we are doing then we are in fact bringing love and care’.

    1. Which really goes to show that the alchemy hat can be worn by anyone, regardless of their exterior garb and as more and more people return to the truth of who we all are, then so too will the number of alchemists increase and be peppered throughout all levels of society.

  28. What an amazing blog, exposing our insatiable need for recognition in any way possible. It is our reluctance to evolve that is keeping us behind, and in this is keeping to seek recognition. We are able to be so much more when we allow ourselves to feel our wayward ways and get to feel the truth that we don’t need recognition as we are held by the love for ourselves and the love that is from all around us, our universality as human beings.

    1. You have expanded on this beautifully Benkt. We are regal beyond measure and yet shuffle the Earth as if we don’t have two brass farthings to rub together and all as a result of our own choices.

    1. Being on our own is a very unnatural and in some ways untrue state of being, as the truth is that whether we have anybody in close proximity to us or not, we are forever and always part of the complete whole, which encompasses the entire lot of every-thing and every-one.

      1. Something that fuels many of us to go it alone, rather than collaborate in a group is the glory that we anticipate as a result of triumphing alone. However the truth is there is never any true glory when we triumph alone because true triumph does not exist in anything that we do by ourselves.

  29. Thank you Alexis, your sharing here lead me to realise it’s not the things we don’t know or understand that hold us back but the attitude and approach we have. This fear and anxiety is what provides the main obstacle – as thick as the China Wall – until we decide to drop it all and just come to the day’s events with a clean slate.

    1. Exactly Joseph, we get caught up in what’s in front of us, overlooking the fact that it is what’s inside of us that is bringing about what we experience ‘in front’ of us.

  30. Its great how in the course Simon asked you to go a little bit deeper and look at your relationship with computers, what is the energy you are bringing and moving when using a computer, its an interesting question which can be applied to anything we do – as there is always more than the physical so to speak, there is the energy that is driving our being.

    1. Harry yes indeed, there is so much more than the physical. We come from formlessness and are returning back to that same formlessness but for now we are in form and the form is supporting us to know who we are and know who we are not.

  31. It is never too late to learn new things and what is great is that everything is a reflection if we choose to see it. We can then either embrace it and learn from it or fight and resist it. The choice is always ours.

  32. Thank you Alexis for sharing this. It confirms so much of what I have been experiencing lately in that I have invested in life being hard. Because in the victimhood, ‘sneaky’ behaviours, withdrawing and temper tantrums I get identification. And the spirit absolutely loves all of this and cannot get enough. The more I listen to my body in these moments of loving/relishing in identification the more I feel the truth of what that love and investment in being recognised truly is.

    1. Leigh, thanks for pointing out that ‘the spirit can’t get enough’ because it can’t, it’s appetite for identification is absolutely insatiable and it will take anything, literally anything at all that sets it apart from others.

      1. It is always good to have this reminder of the insatiable spirit, who will do everything possible to not feel the fullness of love it has separated from to live in a lesser form. It does not card if it trashes the body in the process as there is always another one to hop into next lifetime to repeat the process all over again (until we make the choice stop the cycle and return to love in full).

  33. Part of truly taking in what another offers is to allow ourselves to be students, that way we are open to the reflection that another brings.

  34. Funny how we can feel stagnant or stuck on one area of our life and so we cannot in effect move on in other areas either – and then when something clears from this one area, it is like a rubber band effect where everything then has permission to move on with seemingly amazing speed. There is a time that we must allow for ourselves to explore those areas and give permission for it to unfold, in its own time…

    1. Well said Henrietta. The truth is there is no such thing as ‘one area’ of our lives because life can’t be segmented as such. Our life is simply One life where each assumed ‘segment’ bleeds into the other, so you are spot on when you say that one area affects another. Certainly I have found that clearing my block with computers and technology has lifted a massive block from my body, and that block was in fact affecting all areas of my entire life because the block was with me all ways and hence the space that the removal of the block has left is also with me always.

  35. How often do we try to address a problem, issue or area of doubt whilst trying SO hard to not look at the actual CAUSE of this issue…. Only to find that a quick band-aid approach doesn’t work and we’re going to circle back to the same point anyway!

  36. I love your style of writing Alexis – this line was a corker – “Specific instances seemed to be automatically coming up from my body, as if some invisible secretary had been sent to find files that would serve as evidence for my newly awakened suspicions.”

    But jokes aside, when we make a decision to be honest and get real about something, the body and Soul come together to support you to find and see the truth. It is the magic of God at work.

  37. The depth of honesty shared here is without doubt inspiring, pattern busting and transformative. Since first reading this article, I have put myself under a microscope to investigate my true levels of honesty and it has been revealing and shocking… it has also meant I have had very clear choices and support to change and the ongoing impact is huge. What I find amazing is how simple life is without the veils of lies and facades I have lived enmeshed with – the truth is simply that… the truth.

  38. I love how you went to Simon for some straight forward valuable tips and he asked you to go to another level that was so, so much more, which you did. I can turn up to training and have an attitude of, just give me what I what want to know and then I can carry on doing a ‘good job’. But when I don’t observe and read a situation and what it’s calling for – when I want to stay unaware and settle for plastering up the cracks – then everyone loses, big time. Same is true when I’m being asked to just deliver solutions and I don’t heed the call to bring through what’s actually being called for, because it does require me to live in a way that isn’t about recognition, but a humble and beautiful allowing of what is there to be expressed so all benefit and grow.

  39. We can create difficulties in life to not have to feel amazing… sounds silly but I have experienced this too and life on earth alone is one big example of this: how we can make life very difficult for ourselves. Yet why? It does make sense that it is to avoid simplicity and evolving back to living lovingly from the impulses of our Soul and in that way inspiring everyone to do the same.

    1. It really highlights how powerful our choices are – it’s like the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ or in this case – what we choose comes with responsibility because what we express will then be the love we and everyone else can also choose and re-choose from.

  40. ‘,,,that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves…’ – this is so true and I really love what is shared here – and wow I can really see the truth in this. The fact is we have a relationship with everything and it is all on different levels – and this is a great reflection to where we are in ourselves. I know my relationship with food and my spirit wanting to be rebellious sometimes is reflective of me not truly nurturing myself – wow everything comes around to show us where we can deepen.

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