Parenting Our Children

I am married to an incredible, beautiful tender man, with 3 amazing beautiful children that I am forever appreciative of. What we share as a family reflects to me the importance of expression and communication, for what we share is a result of us all feeling supported in a space where we can share what we feel without holding onto or bottling things up, where we are able to work on not judging each other and on exposing any ideals or beliefs around how we think a true family should be or look.

Universal Medicine has played a huge role in my life: I have been attending Universal Medicine presentations, courses, retreats and having sessions with Esoteric Practitioner Association (EPA)* approved Practitioners, including Serge Benhayon, for 17 years.

Serge Benhayon (Founder of Universal Medicine) leaning against a fence
Serge Benhayon | Founder of Universal Medicine

During that 17 years my life has changed enormously: I have gone from drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, smoking marijuana, being extremely ill, having absolutely no vitality and being majorly underweight to being and feeling alive, vital, healthy, no longer moody or needing any form of stimulant to get me through the day. My weight has been stable for the past few years, I wake up looking forward to the day, eating in a way that truly supports me – not eating to hide or dull myself – and it has been all of this which has enabled me to parent my children in a way that offers true support. I know that without the changes and choices I have made and continue to make for myself, my parenting would be extremely different and certainly not as loving as what it is today.

My life was previously one of constant chaos and overwhelm, mostly due to, actually all due to, the choices I was making, however today my life is completely the opposite of that, in which I take responsibility for each and every choice that impacts on my health and well-being and all my relationships. As stated, Serge Benhayon and his family, together with Universal Medicine and its presentations and practitioners, have been a huge part of how I am now­, and without what was offered to me I do not feel I would be the woman or parent that I am today. The changes in my own life and how I now live with this deep sense of regard for myself have allowed me to bring a deeper regard to my whole family, including how I parent my three children.

How my husband and myself parent our children is loving, nurturing and with understanding. We are not perfect and neither are our children, however they are deeply loved and it is because of the love we hold ourselves in and correspondingly the love we are then able to hold them in, that we are choosing to raise them in the way we do. The love we all share as a family (and with others) has grown immeasurably as a result of how our love has deepened from all we have learnt through Universal Medicine.

We made the choice to parent our children as opposed to raising them; to parent them in a way that truly encourages them to live all that they are without the ideals and beliefs of how we think they or their lives should be; to understand that we do not own our children and that we are simply custodians of them, sharing with them a way of life that is true.

For us a big part of living a life that is true is to support the body to be light – not feel weighed down, bloated, imposed upon by outside stimulants or distractions – consistently feeling what is needed next, establishing and building routines and rhythms that encourage us to feel and care for our own bodies, whether that may be what time we go to bed, the types of foods we eat, the hobbies we may have, and being open to share and express what we are feeling.

Neither my partner nor myself eat dairy, gluten, wheat, yeast or sugar, nor do we use any stimulants like caffeine. Our diet has refined over the years as we have individually felt to, each at different times omitting different foods and introducing others: for our children it has been no different, now being that we all eat the same foods. None of our children have ever been fed dairy, gluten, wheat, yeast or sugar, a choice we made after making adjustments to our own diets and feeling the benefits and true vitality that came from not eating foods that contain these ingredients.

At no time have our children been malnourished, underweight or overweight; they are the weight their body needs for them to be themselves in life, to live who they are without feeling stimulated, anxious or overwhelmed from foods they may have consumed. Therefore, because of the choices we have made for ourselves and for them, they are not seeking stimulation or comfort in food; they are not standing in front of the refrigerator or pantry looking for something to fill an emptiness or void within them, they are not wanting to snack constantly throughout the day, neither are they seeking comfort in distractions outside of themselves such as television, iPads or computers. We use computers and iPads for educational purposes rather than as a tool for babysitting, or a way for them to avoid, bury or hide from what they may be feeling or what is going on around them.

3 young children smiling as they all look ahead laying on a trampoline
Nicole Serafin’s children

Making the choice to parent our children has been a constant, forever unfolding path, one that we are always adjusting and discussing as a family. We make choices that consider us all as a whole, and the foods we eat, the hobbies and distractions we may choose – no matter how insignificant we feel them to be – have an impact on the entire home and everyone in it. The way we live in our home does not just affect us, but affects everyone around us – both directly and indirectly in the home and outside of our home – and when we step out of our front door we take these choices and our way of life to all of humanity: it is this responsibility we have to consider when we are parenting our children.

Our children are an absolute pleasure to have, be around and parent; we are offered an opportunity to forever observe what they need, where they need support and what we can do to encourage them in their own evolution.

As a family we live in a quality and a way that consistently reflects to each other that there is always more, that there are always others that are affected and impacted by the way we live, and that we all have a responsibility to live in a way that is true and considers everyone equally also.

With this choice there is no time off, there is no self, life is not just about you, everything you do and say has a knock-on effect, it affects the all.

Life for our children is about living, enjoying and loving who they are, knowing it is ok for them to be who they are, to express what they feel without holding back in any way, learning how to be themselves and to nurture and love others, without judgement, criticism or comparison. They love to play, laugh, sing, dance, connect with others and be in nature. Our children are all born gentle, loving, tender and precious, and why should any of that change as they begin to grow and become young adults? All children should be supported to love, honour, appreciate and accept themselves for the incredible gentle beings they are.

Our children have their moments as do any of us; no one is perfect, nor do we expect them to be, but we do provide boundaries and consistency, and in the love they feel it does not take much for them to come back to themselves and leave their tantrums behind.

The way we choose to parent our children I know for many raises eyebrows, but with that comes an understanding and an appreciation; others get to know us and our children, and from that they gain a greater awareness of the love and quality in which we live and the love and quality in which we parent our children.

Yes, our children eat a diet that may seem limited to outside observers, but it is limited to healthy and nutritious foods – with no junk food – and our children thrive. Yes, they do not watch television or sit for hours aimlessly in front of a computer or on an iPad, and yes they have routines and rhythms; they have conversations with us about what they are feeling, and we have family meetings to share what we feel is needed next for the family as a whole, what is supportive and what is not. What can be observed is that they are some of the most joy-full children I have ever seen, and this is not limited to my personal experience but from what is shared with me from teachers at their school, day care, friends’ parents and passers-by in shops and supermarkets.

I am so very blessed to have such a joy-full glorious, amazingly loving family, a family that is deepening and developing in so many ways.

Nicole Serafin sitting on the couch laughing and being playful with her partner and 3 children
Nicole Serafin and Familly

Our children are forever a point of reflection, and they are always teaching and calling for me to live all that I am, and in that livingness they can also live all that they are.

So, call Universal Medicine whatever you like, I know in my heart The Way of The Livingness is the only way, and our family lives, breathes and is True Religion.

Serge Benhayon, thank you for being the ever-shining reflection and love that you are; it is with this reflection and inspiration in my life that I love and am all that I am.

By Nicole Serafin, 44 yrs, Wife, Mother Hairdresser, Tintenbar NSW

* The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is the internal accreditation arm of Universal Medicine. It was instigated by Universal Medicine to monitor and accredit the modalities that were founded by Universal Medicine. 

Related Reading:
~ Building True Relationships and Positive Parenting
~ The Purpose of Parenting

634 thoughts on “Parenting Our Children

  1. We as parents, really do need to look at this as a role model for parenting. I am sure the results speak for themselves in terms of the confidence, openness, vitality and honesty your children live with.

    1. Yes and perhaps not panic that this has not been our normal or what we have done! It does take dedication to want more honesty in our lives because all to often we will see something we don’t like and then our head is back in the sand!!

  2. “As a family we live in a quality and a way that consistently reflects to each other that there is always more, that there are always others that are affected and impacted by the way we live, and that we all have a responsibility to live in a way that is true and considers everyone equally also.” If everyone lived with this principle in mind how different the world would be…

  3. I love this; ‘being open to share and express what we are feeling.’ It feels so important to be able to be open and honest with each other. From my own experience this allows there to be intimacy and an understanding and love for each other.

    1. Yes, me too, appreciating that if we don’t have reflections in our lives we can bumble on thinking there is no other way and leaving ourselves open to intergenerational trauma.

  4. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presents a way of being that is very different, and often confronting to what we are used to – it just exposes the limitation we have been agreeing to all along by following whatever is presented as the ideal, or even just a socially accepted norm. It irks us because it only highlights the fact that we have betrayed ourselves by giving our power away.

    1. Fumiyo, I feel that we are just waking up to how much we have been lied to and the lies have led to a form of control that is so subtle that it has gone under the radar of our observation so that we think we are leading socially accepted ‘normal’ lives, when actually we are completely controlled.

  5. This article shows how it is one thing to stop drugs and alcohol and feel that you have returned to a fulfilling life once again – and it is another thing altogether when that life returned to is full of joy and love.

  6. It’s beautiful how you describe how honest expression and communication is nurtured between you all in a non-judgmental space, where you are genuinely listening to each other and being open to learn…

  7. I have first hand experience of seeing how manipulative children and parents can be with one another. A young child is manipulating the parents, the parents are manipulating each other and the child vying for the attention of the parents to somehow compensate for their loveless relationship. And this is just one family, how many more families are there in the world that have a similar story to tell? Families can be extremely toxic behind the façade of ‘Happy families’ that we all put out there.

  8. I work in a shop that has a children’s corner where there are many toys to play with and to buy so I see a lot of children of all ages with their parents and grandparents, sometimes the whole family comes in. It is obvious that a lot of parents don’t know how to relate to their children in a way that honours both themselves and their children but how would they if they had not been honoured themselves? I feel this parenting and family relationship area needs a huge overhaul if we are to ever have a society that is healthy and harmonious. I am not exempt from this dysfunctional behaviour myself because although I maybe in my sixties now there are still lots of hiccups in various relationships I have with family members. A growing awareness and willingness to change are essential to developing healthy relationships and of course developing a more loving relationship with oneself is key. I find that workshops and sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners very supportive in this regard.

  9. We have to find our own way in parenting and not follow a prescribed route, because each and every one of us will bring to the job different skills and have different requirements, based on the characters and personalities of the children we have been charged with. The one size fits all approach simply doesn’t foster healthy, engaged, accountable and loving adults.

  10. Such a beautiful and inspiring sharing Nicole of what it is to live as a true family and to parent your children in a loving and deeply honouring way.

  11. Life is full of choices and I didn’t realise how true this was until I met Serge Benhayon and came to the understanding that for most of my life I had made some disrespectful choices that had a very negative impact on my body. Through the workshops and presentations I have attended I have turned this around so that I am making some beautiful self loving choices and my life is completely opposite to what it had been. I have found that being responsible for my actions rather than being a pain is actually so worth the end result of more joy and vitality.

  12. I always enjoy reading this, it’s a joy to see a family doing so well and living such love and equality together. What struck me was when someone is empowered to heal their own life, as you were Nicole with the support of Universal Medicine, that empowered person is then able to take that to their family and loved ones and the self empowering way of living is then shared with others. It’s a responsible way to live and parent knowing that every choice we make affects everyone else, because if you look at society that is what makes it decent and cohesive, and it is sorely needed worldwide.

  13. Its such a simple comment – to not eat in a way that dulls us. Yet its a common pattern, tried and tested over many years, perfected so I don’t have to really feel the tension of what is really happening. When I do feel everything that is going on, then I’m open to what is really going on for the kids, my partner and myself.

    1. I agree with you totally Eduardo, I remember as a small child asking my parents why they bothered having me as they clearly did not love me. When we allow a religion to dictate to society about birth control then we have families with far too many children and without the resources to properly care or parent them.

  14. It is beautiful to give a voice and to include them in what is next for the family, and areas that need more commitment, because quite often they see things very clearly that we don’t see ourselves, and children will call things out providing they are brought up to do so.

  15. Thank you Nicole, it’s obvious reading your blog that you are very dedicated parents and that the children are thriving on many levels. It’s wonderful that your children are fed such a healthy diet free of junk food and unhealthy ingredients, it’s a very supportive foundation for little bodies to grow from. At the moment childhood weight issues and obesity are a growing problem, we need to as a society, rethink our diets and return to a more natural way of eating by eliminating junk food and unnecessary ingredients like sugar. To me your family is a shining light for supporting children to thrive with a healthy diet.

  16. Parenting children is rare these days, mostly we are all guilty of just letting them grow up and handing over responsibility for parenting to a screen or a child care company. This leads the child to not know who they are and leaves them to find their way in the world without the essential foundations. Universal Medicine’s model of parenting should be studied. It puts love back at the top of the list and teaches the child that the answers are within not out there somewhere.

  17. Indeed commit to that loving connection in one’s self, what a beautiful reflection that is for our children.

  18. Let’s face it humanity as it is, needs another way because the current model is not working. Recently I read a news article that said children under six years of age are being prescribed anti-depressants here in the UK. This blog demonstrates the total opposite end of the spectrum to the news article and the children they are reporting on.

    1. Julie I just heard a story of an 8 year old girl that tried to commit suicide by asphyxiation. It’s very disturbing what children are experiencing and it’s a growing trend.

    2. Yes, there are so many things coming up that need extra support for children now and often requiring medical intervention. Yet it would be good if connecting and a parenting program were also given as a compulsory requirement.

      1. I feel what we are witnessing is a society totally out of control. Thank heaven for Universal Medicine literally showing society there is another way and now we have been given a clear choice in the way we parent ourselves and our children.

  19. To me your way of parenting is an amazing and inspiring example for other families, you would stand out because our norms today seem to be what the majority does instead of living from what we each feel to be true. I also noted your words “that we all have a responsibility to live in a way that is true and considers everyone equally also.” This kind of responsibility is not really spoken of, that each choice we make affects us and then all we come into contact with.

  20. It is a blessing to read this blog and know that there is a family that is parenting their children with such pure and deep respect, which is pure Love. I know you are not the only family that parent their children like this, and I know this is a very healthy way of doing it. I don’t understand how can anyone judge this, and I know that this can only be possible from and/or for misinformation. If there is anyone who doubts the love that this and many families live in their homes, I feel they should not judge without knowing just one of them first. The care, joy and love that I have witnessed in those families is worthy to be respected and shared like you do Nicole.

  21. What I feel reading this is there is an equality in how we can parent so that we give space to children and adults to be themselves, and to learn to express that in the world.

  22. ‘The way we live in our home does not just affect us, but affects everyone around us – both directly and indirectly in the home and outside of our home – and when we step out of our front door we take these choices and our way of life to all of humanity: it is this responsibility we have to consider when we are parenting our children.’ This is a great point, because it teaches responsibility in living openly and transparently and that every choice we make has a ripple effect.

  23. It always amazes me that when children are raised like you raise your children, there is worry and investigation and when there are kids being parented with huge amounts of unhealthy sugary foods and the iPad is the baby sitter, there is no complaint at all. We say ‘everyone their way’.

    1. So Lieke what is really going on here? Why are families who are raising their children not to be addicted to sugar and junk food, not to be addicted to a screen of some sort whether an iPad or television are being questioned, is there something deeper going on where we as a society are being encouraged to checkout and dull ourselves on sugary drinks and fast food because in the dulled state we do not question the control that is being exerted over us. When we parent ourselves and our children in such a way that our bodies feel lighter and full of joy then we are able to clearly see the game being played by the consciousness that is controlling us, and so the lies are exposed.

  24. When we become attached to how a relationship needs to look, we cut ourselves off from the ever expanding quality and deepening on offer. This attachment is a form of control, because we are holding ourselves back to delay experiencing the greater love that is on offer.

  25. I admire and respect that you know from the inside out what works for your family and you are not interested in being influenced by outside opinion to dull what you know from your body brings that joy and vitality.

  26. Its beautiful to hear a family that is firmly held, providing the support for your kids to grow (and the parents) to grow. This is quite a feat today, where so often the parenting is left to schools, TV or worse still Social Media for our kids to understand their place. Taking responsibility in an open and equal relationship – yes please.

  27. Being willing to heal and address the false beliefs in us, provides the greatest platform for Love to be. Our global family is the perfect opportunity to see the beauty of us loving us. Thank you Nicole and your family for showing the way.

  28. We really need to parent ourselves first before we can parent children in a way that truly supports them. As we are custodians of our bodies in this life, responsible to care for them so that divinity can be expressed, so too are we custodians of our children.

    1. Thank you Fiona I really enjoyed reading your comment, particularly about being a custodian for our body and for our children so that our divinity can be expressed.

  29. Nicole, thank you for sharing how your family live in this article, it is very beautiful that you are so loving and honouring with each other and from what I observe daily the loving way you live is not the ‘norm’, how you live shows us how deeply loving and joyful families can be.

  30. What a great inspiration your family is to others. The fact is that kids don’t need to be wired up on sugar all day – they can eat in a way that nourishes and supports them. it is that simple and I love what you share here about constantly looking at the diet and simply eating what supports the body at that time.

  31. “Our children are an absolute pleasure to have, be around and parent; we are offered an opportunity to forever observe what they need, where they need support and what we can do to encourage them in their own evolution.” This is beautiful Nicole and such a simple way to parent, being the eternal observer, over seeing and supporting your children’s evolution without pressure or expectations. What I have noticed when children are supported in this way is that there is a joy and sparkle in their eyes and they radiate a light that is rarely seen, especially when they move into their teens and older.

  32. It’s disturbing to read that families that raise their children in such a healthy and loving manner are attacked. I have experienced being treated as weird because I do not drink alcohol, even though it’s quite a poisonous substance for the body because drinking is so prolific it’s now considered “the normal” and expected. I have to wonder if filling up our kids with junk food and letting electronic devices parent them is now a new normal. We must truly question where society is heading when we consider anything healthy and loving as weird or cause for attack.

  33. Where I am working I see it is the norm for some of the staff to have a take away coffee in one hand as they administer drugs to residents. I feel no-one bats an eye lid except me because it is considered the norm.

    1. People are exhausted, and coffee is a growing industry to meet the demands of people who can’t function well physically without stimulants to prop them up. We as a society are not questioning what’s going on and we should be, it’s not normal to need coffee to get our body to work, in fact it should be sending off alarm bells because such exhaustion can be one step towards more serious illnesses.

  34. ‘I know in my heart The Way of The Livingness is the only way, and our family lives, breathes and is True Religion.’ gorgeous Nicole.

  35. To be raised not to seek food as a source of comfort is an incredible gift you are giving your children.

    1. It must give the kids an incredible confidence to know they can express how they feel and receive support, and not have to muddle through life without that understanding of themselves and reach for food or other behaviours to cope with inner disturbances. It’s an amazing foundation to set into place for the children.

  36. Our children are always a point of reflection… And as we all get older this does not stop… In fact it can sometimes get a little bit more intense ☺… But it is still a reflection.

  37. “The way we live in our home does not just affect us, but affects everyone around us – both directly and indirectly in the home and outside of our home – and when we step out of our front door we take these choices and our way of life to all of humanity: it is this responsibility we have to consider when we are parenting our children.” If everyone was aware of how our choices and behaviours impacted on everyone else, society would behave and be very different to today.

  38. “The love we all share as a family (and with others) has grown immeasurably as a result of how our love has deepened from all we have learnt through Universal Medicine.” I echo this statement Nicole. My love for people has grown exponentially since attending Universal Medicine presentations – and my interaction with my grand-children has also benefited from this big time.

  39. ” All children should be supported to love, honour, appreciate and accept themselves for the incredible gentle beings they are. ” This is so true and it can be seen from the photo the joy that your children are living.

  40. In life when we reflect another way, it is expected that others will react. Respect our own choices and respect the equal right of others’ to live theirs and have fun and lightness while being at it.

  41. In the end there will always be people who choose to see what they want to see, they will take umbrage, try an influence others and not stop till their issue has been proven ‘right’. It is time we stayed steady with what we know to be true from the inside, not the outside and what someone tells us is true or not. Love is the way to go and if there isn’t love is the leading impulse then I wouldn’t want a bar of it regardless of who was peddling it or who was criticising it.

  42. Yeah, this is testimony enough that there is another way…one that perhaps might mean a bit more effort in the short term, but my gosh, some serious long term benefits to being truly connected to your family.

  43. To me it is so crazy that parents who attend Universal Medicine are accused of not nourishing their kids, when there are so many overweight/obese kids these days in society. I see what goes in the average shopping trolley and it does not seem nourishing for the kids or parents.

    1. I agree Fiona, it’s a bizarre situation for children raised in such a loving environment with a nutritious, healthy diet to be attacked. No one despite their choices, heathy or unhealthy, should be attacked. As human beings there needs to be the basics of decency and respect in our communities, and leaving people to explore their own choices in life as a basic human right.

  44. ‘So, call Universal Medicine whatever you like, I know in my heart The Way of The Livingness is the only way, and our family lives, breathes and is True Religion.’ Nicole, I whole heartedly agree with you. For me, The Way of The Livingness has brought true understanding of myself and of others and in this way, I have been able to make changes in my life that are more loving, caring and responsible. I would have it no other way.

  45. In every relationship whether it is with our partner, children, mother, father, siblings, friends, extended family, etc I am being presented with opportunities to grow, opportunities to deepen the relationship to myself and becoming aware of what is not working is never an excuse to berate or judge myself and others but an offering of evolution accepting in full where I am at with no comparison knowing that change is inevitable when I align to deepen the love to myself.

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