From Religious Confusion to Religious Truth 

My confusion about religion and God began at a very early age, probably from day one. My father didn’t believe there was a God but that there was a logical explanation for everything in the Universe.

His own father had been raised in the Catholic faith and from very early on was expected to be the priest in the family, but at 17 this pressure turned him away from the Catholic religion and he ran away to sea. He later discovered Rationalism and when he became a father himself he brought his own children up, including my father, in this belief.

I never had really understood what Rationalism was all about, but my readings since have presented that it is a branch of philosophy where an idea is validated by logic rather than religious means such as revelations, meditation or emotions. A Rationalist is said to believe that all knowledge can be understood through a process of reasoning without any external sources, particularly without the need for a God. But the few times my father voiced that there was no God, it didn’t make sense to me as I could feel so clearly inside that there was. My confusion grew even stronger as my father was totally connected to nature and the Universe and their cycles; I felt he loved and honoured people for who they were, never judging anyone and treating everyone as an equal. To me the way he lived felt so aligned to God and in fact as I grew older I used to say that he was living how I felt a true Christian would live. But of course in my mind that clashed with what I came to understand were his beliefs… beliefs that I chose not to question.

Then on the other side, my mother was raised as a Swedish Lutheran; she spoke little about her religious beliefs and she appeared to only go to church when someone had died or for weddings. It took me a while to realise that she had put aside her beliefs and in part aligned herself with my father’s views, although he never forced them on anyone.

So this was the scene that was set for the early years of my life. As a young child I would have unexplained experiences that I would share with my mother; for example, that I knew that there was no real death but that we would ‘wake up’ again just like when we went to sleep, but she would instantly tell me that my father didn’t believe in that, and so I learned to hold back from sharing these inner knowings with him. I chose instead to defer to what I perceived to be his greater wisdom and began to align to his beliefs as my mother had done, shutting down all that I naturally knew and felt. He was such a wonderful and seemingly wise man, so it was obviously very easy to accept that he must be right and what I felt and experienced at times, must be wrong. So onto the pedestal he went and as a result, down went my trust in what I could feel and innately knew. Sadly I never had the conversation with him about religion that I now would dearly like to have, and I know that if he had known how I had shut myself down, he would have been horrified.

My father never pushed his beliefs onto others as he respected their views, so when I decided I wanted to attend Sunday School he did not try to convince me not to go, and off I went for my first ‘religious’ experience. So it was at about age 8 that I slowly began to garner some insight into what religion was about, but interestingly I can’t even remember what religion it was. A year later when I chose to start Bible studies something inside me woke up and I could feel so clearly that what was being presented to me did not feel true, and I left, never to return.

As the years rolled on by and I began to read about certain religions from Catholicism to Buddhism, I began to feel like I did in Bible studies – that there was little or no truth in what I was reading. But when I read about the teachers that these religions were named for, I felt something very different; that these men did bring truth to the world. So the question naturally arose; what happened to their teachings?

I came to the conclusion that they had been bastardised and used simply for power and control of the masses, and in doing so the truth presented by these wonderfully wise men was distorted for the purpose of keeping the people in separation; from themselves, from others, from the truth and from God, and not to bring them together in love, equality and brotherhood as had been presented as the way forward for mankind.

The stories of wars, atrocities and genocide in the name of religion continued to confuse and at times horrified me, and slowly I began to distance myself further and further from religion and God until the point when I could not say the words without squirming, at times avoiding saying them altogether. But when someone asked me what religion I followed I would say that I was an agnostic as claiming to be an atheist just didn’t sit right. It was like there was a part of me that was keeping my religious options open just in case.

And I am so pleased that I did because as a result of leaving that door open, the confusion that I lived with for nearly 60 years is now finally dissipating and my clarity about what religion truly is grows every day. This most welcome change to my understanding of religion has come about as a result of connecting with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine 12 years ago. When I attended my first ever workshop with Serge, I felt with every part of me that I had finally found what I had been looking for all of my life and that I was finally returning home, even though at that stage I did not know where home was and what was waiting for me there. From the workshops and other presentations by this very wise man I began to reconnect to the real me, who I had buried under the mountain of the many ill ideals and beliefs I had chosen to take on, including my ones about religion.

The day Serge Benhayon first mentioned the word religion I began to squirm once again and all the old religious ideals and beliefs came pouring back in, and there was a voice yelling, “No, this can’t be a religion!” But even though there was a part of me that wanted to run, there was an even stronger part that was saying stop, here is the opportunity you have been waiting for, to finally understand what religion actually is, to get to know the God that you knew as a child and to make sense of a world that most of the time hasn’t made sense.

So stop I did and I began to listen to what Serge was presenting and with the common sense and truth that I knew he was offering, slowly the walls I had built began tumbling down, especially when he presented the true meaning of the word religion. When he shared that the word has its origins in the Latin words, ‘re-ligare’ and ‘re-ligio’, meaning to re-bind, to re-connect, I could feel that this is what I had felt at the first Universal Medicine workshop I attended; that I was re-connecting to something that I had always known but that I had buried for a very long time, probably for many lifetimes.

As Serge Benhayon continues to share this Ageless Wisdom with us I have come to realise that so much of what I had felt and had known was true; that Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna, Buddha and the other wise messengers had offered humanity the truth; that their message was bastardised; that they did not ask for buildings to be erected in their name; that they did not want their teachings to be used for power and control and definitely not the reason to go to war; nor for God to be portrayed as a judgmental being totally removed from people’s lives, sitting on his throne in the sky.

They actually shared that it is in connection with our innermost, our inner heart, that we can feel and know God, wherever we are and whatever we are doing; it is in our livingness, and that in coming together to live this way in Brotherhood is a way we have known before and once chosen we will naturally live again. It is in the way we live in every moment as presented by The Way of The Livingness that we can build this connection to ourselves, and from this inner connection we can connect to others, to God, to nature and to the Universe. We are divine beings who are here to once again reclaim the true essence of love and remember that religion is in everything that we do and everything we express.

If you understand what religion truly is, then everything is religion.”

(Serge BenhayonEsoteric Teachings & Revelations, p. 46)

I have come to know that my religion is the stars in the sky that shine down upon me in the dark of the night; it is in the delicate bud of a flower that gently opens to the warmth of the sun; it is in the voice that whispered to me that what was presented in that Bible Studies class wasn’t the truth and that in connection to myself I will naturally connect to God and come to know him again as I did as the innocent and beautiful Son of God that I was as a child, and that I always have been.

Published with permission of family.

By Ingrid Ward, West Auckland, New Zealand

Related Reading:
Images of God
Waiting for God…
World Religion Day – but do we know what Religion is?

429 thoughts on “From Religious Confusion to Religious Truth 

  1. I can understand why someone who has been hurt by the reinterpretation of religion would decide to leave God out of their religious beliefs and practices, however that is really just ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’. God is within us all so to deny this is to turn away from the deep connection we have with ourselves, leaving us at the mercy of whatever is outside of us. Beliefs then become super important because they are the only way in which we can stay relatively steady in the chaos of the world we have all created.

    1. So true Lucy, we need the beliefs to make sense of the chaos, yet when you connect to the All that is within, there is no chaos but a stillness and an understanding of how everything makes sense.

  2. I had a chat with somebody about religion yesterday, they were so certain in their knowledge of everything they had read and everything that has been bastardised that they have completely renounced religion from their life. Even though I know that I haven’t completely embodied the real meaning of the word, I feel absolutely blessed to be open to the possibility of a true religious life.

    1. You can understand why people eliminate religion from their life because of the atrocious behaviors and abuse that has been committed in the past in the name of religion. Also due to this disillusionment and withdrawal from religion it is logical for many to question if God exists or not. But what we must never forget is that we all have free will, a will in which we make all our choices at our own discretion – and free will is something God cannot ever control.

  3. Learning about the different religions and even now interacting with people from many different faiths I am at times asked if I am religious and I say yes without hesitation. Which is beautiful because previously I too would hide away from claiming that I am religious as to associate with something that didn’t make any sense nor did I want to be seen as a looney or as a sheep in the mind of another; judgements I had previously pinned onto those following a religion. The way Serge Benhayon presents religion makes so much sense in that it’s about being in relationships, which we are constantly in and can’t escape from, and there is more to us and life that is physical and we can and do have a relationship with this.

  4. The Way of The Livingness is the living way in connection to the all and so amazing and refreshing to discover in side us and is in marked contrasted to the confusion dogma and imposed beliefs of organised religions of the world. The grace and joy of living who we are in connection with our bodies and all that is around us that we feel and see in the beauty, grace, flow and discipline of God.

  5. “….in connection to myself I will naturally connect to God”. Beautifully and simply expressed, thankyou Ingrid. I love the quote from Serge Benhayon – “if you understand what religion truly is, then everything is religion.” Yes.

  6. We know truth, love and what religion truly means as children yet we are bombarded with so many beliefs and ideals from the outside that it is no surprise that we shut down. My children have been told in school who God is but all three of them have come home and questioned the teachings. I know my kids know God and even though they too are getting different messages about God from the outside I don’t feel the need to preach to them who or what God is. I know through choice it is the way I live that truly inspires them; the way I am with myself that sets the foundation for all my relationships including my relationship with God.

  7. How far have we strayed from the true meaning of the word ‘Religion’ when it simply means to ‘re-connect’? And then you feel something familiar, perhaps there is no words you can find to describe it, but you know this quality… How simple and uncomplicated compared to the confusion, control and fractious nature that has been caused in history by manipulation of this word.

  8. Reconnecting to what is innately within us is a personal journey but none the less we all come from the same divine spark so when all connected to this divine source, God, we will be equal and emanating the Love that we all are.

  9. It’s it interesting how we always know exactly what religion is not. Therefore no matter what we say, we must also know what religion is.

  10. Connection to God is not about going to a certain building or saying a certain prayer or sitting on your knees for a long time or clearing your mind and saying OMs…
    Connection to God happens in our body, though our deepest heart when we let go of all the barriers that we hold as seeming protections from each other, when we allow ourselves to be seen by the world and allow the world to see us completely, openly. As you have so beautifully said Ingrid: “religion is in everything that we do and everything we express”…now this allows us a breather and allows us to see that religion is far more than we realise, that we do not have to be constrained by the current common definitions of religion itself!

  11. “When I attended my first ever workshop with Serge, I felt with every part of me that I had finally found what I had been looking for all of my life and that I was finally returning home, even though at that stage I did not know where home was and what was waiting for me there.” I can relate to this Ingird, and felt the same kind of homecoming when I attended my first workshop with Serge Benhayon. It has and continues to be a revelation to me that everything I have always known is continually being confirmed as I deepen my connection to the divine that has always been within me.

  12. The Ageless Wisdom is not something for the select few, it is available to everyone equally. Question is, do we acknowledge it?

  13. The Ageless Wisdom has been presented through Serge Benhayon in a way that makes sense in the modern world. Mostly the teaching are based on simple and logical principles that it is a reflection of how convoluted and crazy humanity has become so far from accepting responsibility.

  14. When Serge Benhayon first introduced to the Student Body of Universal Medicine that The Way of The Livingness was a religion I was initially reluctant to consider myself religious because of the associations I had gathered over the years regarding religion. However, however much I was reluctant it felt true and as I came to understand and appreciate what religion truly means, so I am now proud to say “I am religious and I practice the religion The Way of The Livingness”.

  15. It seems as though the surest way to dismiss and deny the truth is not to argue or say horrible things, but to put out and promote a slightly altered version of what is really there to distract and discourage people. If every apple you were ever given was rotten, after a while you would surely stop trying. This is how I have felt with traditional Religion and life, so thanks for this reminder Ingrid that our connection to divinity is naturally written in everything.

  16. As a young person growing up I could never understand the contradictions such as, ‘Love thy neighbour as yourself’ and then it was OK to have a war because ‘God was on our side’ but the other side also claimed God was on theirs? And so the contradictions went on. It is such an amazing joy to know The Way of The Livingness and there be no contradictions

    1. Great examples of contradictions jstewart. The other contradiction that really stood out for me was the person that was a ‘church goer’ one day a week and for the rest of the week lived in a way that to me was nothing like what I felt a religious person would live; it always felt so hypocritical. This was really brought home to me a while ago when I met a business man who repeatedly told everyone that he was a Christian but to me some of the business practices that he undertook didn’t have one ounce of what I feel Christianity is, in them; he certainly wasn’t walking his talk – but sadly he is not alone in this.

  17. I remember when Universal Medicine being a religion was first mentioned, I too was very uneasy, particularly about how it might be portrayed, even though I could feel the truth in it.

  18. One of the key insights is that science is a way of accessing truth but science itself knows that its approach can only access a limited amount of truth. Therefore any method or tool or way to access a bigger set of true statements or skills would be very helpful and, if it existed, could well be named ‘true religion’. Would anybody have a better name?

  19. Even after all these years I still can get a sense of the “connection and understanding of life” that I held as child. Having this natural knowing I can now understand why I struggled to make sense of the world I saw around me because it didn’t reflect what I could feel inside. Sadly what I felt on the outside began to burrow its way into the inside burying the truth that I naturally knew underneath it. This is why we as adults have a huge responsibility to support all our children to retain this inner wisdom so that they may carry it with them as they grow – into wise adults

  20. Children hold such a deep connection and understanding of life, as kids we are much more connected to what we feel and there is such a beauty in this yet often we lose sight of this as we grow up and take on pictures, beliefs and get influenced by what is outside of us.

  21. There is a simple magic to living in a natural rhythm where our body aligns to what it knows to be true. In that there are rituals and ceremonies that also feel aligned to a greater order. This feels to be a living religion, a way of living life in relationship to all around – The Way Of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon feels to be the way, a way of living in religion, in connection, in relationship to the all.

  22. Serge Benhayon offers the world the true understanding of the religious confusion out there by bringing back the simplicity we all know inside us .” it is in connection with our innermost, our inner heart, that we can feel and know God, wherever we are and whatever we are doing;” It brings us back to the knowing and love inside us all and not outside of us unattainable and distant and of many different interpretations. Thank you for a great blog and sharing.

    1. Yes, it is quite a message to say that every human being has themselves access to a much larger volume of truth than they thought and then to show everyone how to access that larger volume.

  23. Re-reading your great blog Ingrid it is very clear that the process of education has not been about accumulating more knowledge and data but rather seeing through our false positions, reconnecting to the truth, letting the walls tumble down and realising that you can trust what you feel and live that. It is a process of letting go all that is not true to find that the shining jewel of wisdom was always there – you and God.

  24. Growing up a Catholic I was under the impression, (hey I might have got this wrong) but I was under the impression that if you weren’t Catholic and went to church on Sunday, well you were going to hell, and this I found weird as I knew some people that felt better than a lot in that church and I couldn’t believe that they would burn for eternity because they didn’t come to a place to worship God when I couldn’t even feel God in that place. Anyway The Way of The Livingness is the only religion that I have come across that has no prejudices or boundaries and recognises that we are all part of the all and definitely no one is to burn for eternity on the Lake of Fire.

  25. “If you understand what religion truly is, then everything is religion.”(Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p. 46) Wow, yes I am starting to understand what this actually means in my life.

  26. Now having a relationship with God that is of equality and having deep appreciation of the divine source I have been created from my understanding of what religion really is has changed dramatically from being brought up catholic. Returning back to my true origins and celebrating this feels amazing.

  27. It’s great you have explored many routes knowing that there was a true religion but then coming to the realisation that religion is actually how we are with everything – it is the connection we have to our bodies and to the all.

  28. “If you understand what religion truly is, then everything is religion.” and this clearly exposes anything that claims itself to be religion whilst causing separation within the everything.

  29. It seems that very many of us have a sense of the discrepancies and falsehood in our current interpretation of religion and that working with the true religion, The Way of The Livingness, is simply a coming home to what we have always known.

  30. Thank you for sharing Ingrid, for me one of the reasons why religion has been used to mean so many different things is because when we use it in its true meaning it is a very powerful and natural word for us all to use and claim. So to change its meaning and then put people off it is a very clever trick to essentially keep us away from connecting to ourselves, to the love that we are.

  31. It is interesting how you describe a pull towards the great world teachers who have graced our earth but not the writings about them. I too remember feeling confused and frustrated because I wanted to learn about these great people and what they truly brought to humanity, but would often find that what was written about them gave me little to no sense of who they really were as people and the lives they lead or the relationships they had, that is, they had become almost fictitious and seemed to disappear in to a state of myth or legend.

    1. Yes Shami, the connection to the world teachers who had been with us in the past was always very strong and could not be ignored, but the confusion began when often what was written about them didn’t make sense; I continually had this feeling that the truth of what I felt was being hidden and in the process the truth of these teachers, as you say, “had become almost fictitious and seemed to disappear into a state of myth or legend.” Now finally we have a world teacher in Serge Benhayon who is definitely not going to disappear without trace as everything he is presenting is being documented in great detail for those to come.

  32. The simple truth of religion is written here for all to read “ it is in connection with our innermost, our inner heart, that we can feel and know God, wherever we are and whatever we are doing; it is in our livingness.” For me there has never been anything more true written.

  33. Ingrid what stands out for me today is the fact that your “religious confusion started from day one” now this is something that I can relate to and I am sure many millions around the world, yet the more I understand true religion the more it makes no sense why we are confused. Let me explain, as True Religion is a natural part of our way of living as a baby then we innately know and are religious. It is of course no coincidence we are confused, even though it makes no true sense, as we are then raised byt that religion that is nothing like what we naturally feel it to be.

  34. I love the fact that the truth has no gaps, no contradictions and simply makes sense. It is known from deep within and has been lived before by us all.

  35. True religion for me holds all the love and Joy of the universe in a drop, a drop so potent that you never forget it, for it is your own very essence being reflected back to you, and never is it not.

  36. A truly religious relationship should be rational in terms of its observations. The problem with the approach of rationalism however is that it asks life to be understand purely from the ponderings of the mind alone, and God cannot be understood in this way. True religion can only be understood by movement and vibration, in other words understanding that everything actually has a quality of vibration, or energetic state of being. And yes, we actually are equipped to register such things, but that requires a dedication to resurrecting our true senses, which can in turn only be achieved by developing a body that is sensitive and in tune to such things. Thus it requires a certain livingness that cannot be achieved simply through the feeble pondering of the mind, which is limited in its assessment of the world by what it can see based on its interpretation of what we feel through the 5 senses.

  37. Growing up enjoying bible studies, but so much of it did not make sense but I felt compelled to find the answers to life, and everyone seemed to go to the bible for the answers and then later on in life I discovered other religions which were saying they knew the truth. Then along came the spiritual new age and more confusing information – thank God for Serge Benhayon who was the first person who I could trust knew what he was on about, and has been consistent in his delivery for ten years.

  38. What a great scenario to incarnate into Ingrid! You were given the space to see the true colours of religion and not have that bind put upon you. And then you had the further refinement of seeing that rationalism and humanism, as appealing as that can be, is not it either. To quite a large extent you had the space to see through any subtle illusion without having the grind of a punishing consciousness imposed on you. Having sussed all that out made way for true religion. The beauty of The Way of The Livingness is beyond compare!

    1. I agree Lyndy that my upbringing gave me such a wide perspective on religion and even though I made the choice to shut down what I knew to be true this knowing didn’t leave me forever. The key to opening the door back to this inner knowing was offered to me by Serge Benhayon and I took it willingly with both hands and now live it, without perfection, through The Way of The Livingness, a religion as you say “is beyond compare”.

  39. Many Christians, atheists, agnostics I have come into contact with feel they truly know what true religion is. But the movements and expression they choose in life do not reflect this truth they know in full. To live in this constant conflict requires a shut down to what our body feels and to our awareness, and that is to shut down the greatest gift life has given us. Similarly, someone who knows the living, breathing way of true religion, if we choose not to live in our fullness, when we shut down or hide expressing what true religion means to us in our movements, we are encouraging what is religion to continue to create deep tension in our bodies.

  40. its a great point you make Ingrid, that when we connect to the great sages that institutialised religions are named after, we connect to the grandness and truth that they lived. But institutionalized religion is a rape of this truth. It strips us of this divine knowing – there is nothing innocent about this. Institutionalized religion has the intent of cutting down our access to divinity so that the powers that be remain.

  41. God is everywhere and in everything even when we are acting in a way that is against the simple love that God is. Losing our relationship with religion and with God has been one of the greatest crimes against humanity. We only need to look at what the bastardisation of this has done of the last however many thousands of years. I watch at present the way the we target groups who have particular beliefs it just drives further a wedge between us, when religion in its truth ‘re-binds’ us together because it reminds us of who we are, which is so much more when we are unified together.

  42. Serge Benhayon makes religion so meaningful, real and personal, cutting through all the contradictions of institutional religions.

    1. So very true jstewart. It was by Serge Benhayon presenting the true meaning of religion that I finally realised that, yes it is “meaningful, real and personal” and that it is something that I have always actually known but chose to bury under the confusion created by what I had observed from the so-called accepted religions. By Serge returning the truth of religion back to humanity, it has opened the doorway to those like me who have lived in a very confused religious state, to now know what true religion is and that it all begins within each and every one of us.

  43. What an in depth and very exposing understanding of religion and what it truly is Ingrid beautiful thank you. From Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine “They actually shared that it is in connection with our innermost, our inner heart, that we can feel and know God, wherever we are and whatever we are doing; it is in our livingness, and that in coming together to live this way in Brotherhood is a way we have known before and once chosen we will naturally live again. Beautiful.

  44. It is amazing how as a child we often are totally connected to truth and how we choose to leave this because of our education from parents and society. Actually this is showing to me that we must have more lifes where we had left our truth many times so that in this life we have no foundation to built on. With the ageless wisdom Serge Benhayon is presenting I was able to reconnect what I already had felt as a child and now am able to built a foundation on truth.

  45. I appreciate coming to know true religion as presented by Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom, where religion means a reconnection with God through our innermost, bringing that love out in a loving connection to nature humanity and all around us, understanding that we all are one and love is who we truly are.

  46. There has been a lot of confusion around me and within me in my earlier life with many contradictions with thoughts and teachings too Ingrid. To feel I know there is a true religion with the Ageless Wisdom and the teachings of Serge Benhayon is to feel I have come home at last. There is no need to search any more, the answers are all here for everyone.

  47. It has been in taking notice of the words used in religious ceremonies and script that makes it sound as if God is ‘out there’ and that we are beneath him, and ‘less than’ which creates an immediate separation between God and man. But when we simply reconnect with our body, through our breath, God / Love is there instantly. Not ‘out there’, but in there. within our body. It then confirmed to me how religion attempts to control and disempower the masses. True religion is simply about reconnecting with your breath and then you are in connection with the body of God. Simple. No rules. Equality.

    1. This is a great point that you raise here Johanne about the words used in various religions making it sound like “God is ‘out there’”, and I am sure that if children hear these words repeated to them from very young it will naturally follow that that is where they believe God to be as well. How amazing it would be if instead every child was raised to know God is with us in every moment, not out there, but inside each and every one of us, always.

  48. Feeling, listening, deepening, and connecting to every detail my body senses and observes, and learning to honour that without reinterpreting it with my mind is an incredible ongoing education and development.

    1. Ah, yes, “learning to honour that without reinterpreting it with my mind” such a great point Jenny James, there is an acceptance there of all that is sensed – just as it is. Thank you.

  49. The deeper I connect with myself, the rhythms and cycles of my body, life and the universe I can’t help but feel that this is a religious way of living and being.

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