Have you ever in your life looked at something and thought, “Where do I start?” It could have been whilst cleaning, de-cluttering a space, moving house, starting a project, writing an assignment… the list goes on. Many times I have gone into overwhelm (and sometimes still do), asking myself this question and making the task bigger in my mind than it truly is… which if I do that, of course I will not know where to start!
I had a very similar feeling recently, only this was not to do with writing an assignment or de-cluttering, it was to do with what is going on in the world. In a short space of time I had read, seen and signed petitions on various news’ stories of devastating things that are happening to people and animals around the world. Not long after reading and seeing this, in fact during reading and seeing these different news clips, came the familiar feeling of overwhelm – of “Gosh, where do we start?” and I noticed an old pattern of feeling helpless arise. The question then came back to me: when such abuse and devastation is happening within the world, “Where do we (as humanity) start?” and “How on earth do we stop or change the abuse that is happening in the world?”
What I noticed was, when I gave myself space to feel into this a bit more (pulled myself out of being in the overwhelm and observed instead) I did not feel helpless, I did not go into sympathy. Instead I knew the answer. It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?
This then becomes manageable, tangible and feasible. For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others.
This is possible – we just need to make the start.
So, where do we start?
We start with us.
Continually and forever inspired by the lived way of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Vicky Cooke, London
Further Reading:
One Step At a Time – Anything Else is Just Too Tricky!
It’s time for the world to wake from its Sleep
An Unnatural Disaster
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
This is a great discussion to be having Vicky, ‘It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?’ I have come to the settlement that for most of my life I have been choosing an abusive energy against myself. I have been super hard and when younger tried to annihilate myself. By meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have transformed my life turned it around so that everyday I take care and I am relearning how to appreciate myself on deeper levels with the understanding there is always more to discover about this innate beauty within. From this understanding I know that my friends, family and work colleagues can feel a difference in me because they tell me so and how settling it is for them when they are around me. So from my experience I can say that the positive changes I have made to my life is supporting others to feel more positive about their life, there is an astronomical science to this way of living which will catch on because it is what everyone is searching for, the truth of the words, to love and be love.
It is so easy to be distracted by what others are doing Shirley-Ann, that’s why there are so many distractions in the world because we are all so busy dabbling in other peoples business we don’t have time to look at the mess we are sitting in. A friend suggested to just keep swimming in my lane do not look left or right but straight ahead and by applying this tactic, I have enough of my own mess to deal with without looking outside at the mess other people are in. It’s working within my family, they have watched how I am transforming my life and they are encouraged to transform their lives too.
Absolutely Vicky, by being anything less than our Loving Soul-full essences we are a huge part of all the calamity we are currently living in, in other words we all have to be responsible for every action.
Abuse is abuse regardless of the shape it takes. Addressing it in our personal lives stops it from feeding the greater forms of itself in the world around us.
Many people are not aware that they are being abusive with themselves, cleaning up our home environment is a great place to start, ‘ how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?’
I love your blog, Vicky! Such a great question with such a simple answer. Where do I start? We start with us. Isn’t this where it all starts? And if being totally honest this then brings us to the truth that we end with us too. Us as you say, is not only us as in me and you, but all of humanity. We are where we start and we are where we end as it’s up to us to start living in a way that is inclusive of all humanity and it ends with us when each and every one of us has mastered living in such a way as to be inclusive of all humanity. We start with us to evolve back to us.
be, this is my understanding too that everything starts with us first, we cannot change anyone or any situation. When we reign ourselves in with self mastery and live from a way that is harmless to ourselves, then naturally there will be no harm in our bodies to harm another. This is the domino effect that will change the world.
Only when we have learned to care for and truly love ourselves are we able to inspire others with how we are living.
It is easy to look the other way and stay in our comfort to avoid the responsibility of the impact each and every one of us has in every moment.
We are the answer, it does start and finish with us… humanity. It is how we are with ourselves first which then ripples out to all others, not just on this planet but the entire universe.
If we micro manage our own lives then that in turn macro manages the world because the world is the sum total of all of our choices, it’s literally all of us and all of our choices put together in the one pot. And when we realise this, it’s actually really easy to see how it is literally impossible to fundamentally change anything without first changing ourselves because we are the everything, the everything is made up of us.
Alex as always you have summed life up in a nutshell. So beautifully shared.
“What I noticed was, when I gave myself space to feel into this a bit more (pulled myself out of being in the overwhelm and observed instead) I did not feel helpless, I did not go into sympathy. Instead I knew the answer. There is no space in overwhelm, overwhelm is a state of energetic suffocation which is why our breath gets effected when we go into overwhelm. And as space communicates intelligence then it’s easy to see how it’s impossible to come up with a solution when we are feeling overwhelmed. If we do come up with a solution then it’s often one borne from panic rather than clarity. If we are able to remain connected to our bodies then this helps us to stay in space and the answer to our conundrum is much more likely to become apparent.
Alexis what a great sharing that we can all relate to that is, ‘There is no space in overwhelm, overwhelm is a state of energetic suffocation which is why our breath gets affected when we go into overwhelm. And as space communicates intelligence then it’s easy to see how it’s impossible to come up with a solution when we are feeling overwhelmed.’ There was a time when I hated to go in a lift. I would tense up, so of course my breathing would change. By observing what was actually happening to my body by bringing awareness to it, I was able to regulate my breathing so that when I went into a lift I was able to breath gentle and by focusing on that I didn’t feel the overwhelm.
A great tip Alexis, that it is key to stay with our bodies, to stay in presence, ‘If we are able to remain connected to our bodies then this helps us to stay in space and the answer to our conundrum is much more likely to become apparent.’
It all starts and ends with us, we are the beginning and the end of everything because collectively we are the everything.
Gorgeously simple Vicky, “we start with us”. And for me this has meant and still means a lot of compassion towards myself, dropping the self-critic and judge and placing no blame anywhere.
It really brings it back to personal responsibility, and that this is actually worldly responsibility. By living the love we are and not accepting abuse we clean up the world one person at a time.
I know Melinda that we are sold the lie that what can one person do on their own to change the mess the world is in. What has been offered by way of this blog, is to understand that we do all count and that by cleaning up our own mess, we could be the pebbles that start an avalanche.
This keeps it simple, ‘By living the love we are and not accepting abuse we clean up the world one person at a time.’
We can stand back and judge others for what they are doing (or not doing) which only feeds the mess all the more – or we can step up to the challenge ourselves and as you said Vicky start with us.
Yes, don’t moan about it, be the change you want to see in the world.
Suse great comment, it’s a bit like our running shoes are on the starting blocks and we are fidgeting with our position or setting off a false start, having to go back to the blocks to go again. It’s all a delaying tactic to not get on with our evolution. Not realising that we are going there anyway but you have a choice in which way you get there, in delay or by starting the journey by just stepping forward. Just step forward focus on our feet and who knows what glory awaits us all.
In the past if the question – ‘where do I start’ – arose, I would quickly feel overwhelming threatening and the chances are I would go into avoidance mode, making the situation even more complicated. These days I am able to turn the complication into simplicity by stopping, taking an honest look at the situation and then choosing one little thing to begin with, and then another, then another. Any change in my life starts with the very first and simple step I take, as does any change in the world.
Ingrid I agree with you, change one thing and marvel at how everything else can unravel.
When we ask ourselves the question, ‘where do I start’ it already comes with overwhelm. Because when we connect to the purpose we know exactly what to do and when to do it.
Not knowing where to start happens when we procrastinate. It feels awful in our body but when we just focus on making a start without clinging onto overwhelm, every job, big or small becomes an ease and flow.
Focus on making a start, just prioritise where to start, and keep moving forward.
Thank you, Vicky. This tells me how overwhelm is actually a choice, a distraction tactics.
Fumiyo I hate how humanity has been lied to on so many different levels and in such subtle ways with one purpose only to stop us from evolving back to our natural state of being. Instead we are all kept in a prison of life and our emotional energy that we are encourage to dwell on is used as a life force for as yet to be seen, unseen beings – Entities. if we were to see them in their grotesque form we would stop immediately feeding them our life-force. That’s why they remain hidden because they are too cowardly to show themselves but we do know they are there because we can sense them and when we were children they were around us all the time scaring us, so we start life feeling very unsettled and so make bargains with them to give us security in a scary world.
I love the simplicity yet bold statement. Everything starts with us. We could spend our entire lives making it about others, thinking they will do it when the other are thinking the same about you. It only tales one to break this chain. Are you going to be that One?
Ir is so important to look inward before looking outward because we will find it so hard to cope with what we see outward if we do not have an understanding of ourselves and how we are part of the world we see, yet also part of the future we know we are moving towards.
So very true Lucy – if we don’t have “an understanding of ourselves” and the part we play in this world, we don’t have a starting point for change, either in ourselves or in the world. I am sure that we all would love to heal the world’s problems, today, – I sure would – but I also know that until I make a start on healing mine, I won’t have the understanding and foundation to support anyone else.
Lucy I agree with you. When we look out and see the mess we are in, it’s easy to give up because of the overwhelm of I cannot change this mess. However, I have discovered if I clear up the mess I have made by being in anger, frustration, judgement etc., then I’m no longer contributing to the mess and if we all took this personal responsibility then our world would change. Someone has to make the first move.
The smallest details such as keeping our focus on how we are breathing is always a great place to start, no matter how big the task we have in front of us is.
Thank you Vicky, you have brought simplicity, power, and purpose to one of the most important questions we ask ourselves “how can we can change the world from abuse to love?” We start by becoming the love we innately are and living that for the all. We tend to look for solutions outside of ourselves to do with world problems, but war and abuse starts with people, so it’s on the inside of each person that needs to change by reconnecting to and living from the love within.
Simplicity, power and purpose are key ingredients in any project we undertake, ‘We start by becoming the love we innately are and living that for the all.’
It is easy to get overwhelmed when we look at all of the horrific things people do to each other and it’s understandable why we turn a blind eye out of reaction to feeling how much it hurts us. I have done this ever since I can remember but now I’m choosing to know how ugly it can get and to call it out even if it’s to myself.
Yes, very simply, lovingly and making another choice on the small things we can do something about so it has a ripple effect in areas we need never know!
Burying our heads in the sand, not wanting to see the atrocities in the world is enabling them to continue, by seeing the mess of the world, nominating and hating this, we are supported to make changes that support a more loving way of living.
Whenever I don’t know where to start I come back to my relationship with my body and make sure I am really settled…and then it doesn’t seem to matter where I start, it is the fact that I do that counts, and everything sorts itself out from there.
Staying with the body is important, then it can guide us.
It seems to me, that we as human beings do not realise the power we have to change the world which is not surprising, as when you look around at the state of global affairs it’s all very overwhelming; there is so much that is needing to be urgently addressed. Any change, whether within our lives or wider out into life, comes from the next choice we make and the next, for with every change we make there is a naturally occurring ripple effect, and therefore the more changes, the more life-changing and potentially world-changing ripples we produce; yes, we have the power.
Yes, I agree with you Ingrid, we certainly do have the power and going into overwhelm and procrastinating is a way to deny our power.
Ingrid thank you for sharing the ripple effect as it feels to me like dropping a pebble into water and watching the ripples span out further and further. We have seemingly forgotten that we live in cycles and all the cycles are interwoven into the most amazing geometric pattern which will return us to the beginning again.
Before we can bring about true change in the outer world we must first go deep within and shift the barriers we have put in place that prevent us from seeing things as they truly are so that we may more clearly feel the gift of what we bring that will help dissolve the mess we as humans have created on this plane of life.
Very true. We feel we have to do, that is what we have been programmed to have as our ‘go-to’, yet the most healing comes when we simply be, because in that space and from that body we will know exactly what, when, and how to do what needs to be done. From this space of being it is done without the exhausting drive and overwhelm.
Liane so beautifully expressed that we have no idea of the gift that we each bring to humanity. This is not something we value in ourselves or others. Thats because from young we are not cherished in such a way that we remain open to the stars and the universe that originally breathed us forth and that we will one day return to.
Where to start is often easy to identify, it is rather the question of how willing are we to get started and let go of the familiar, comfortable but limiting habits.
And how much does our choice for this limitation limit us to see that there is a greater and grander awareness than we have currently lived.
So true Alexander, we usually know deep inside when it is time to make changes in our lives, but the potential road block is, ‘how willing are we?”. Letting go of all that which has been a big, but not necessarily supportive, part of our lives can be very challenging as we are usually being called to let go of what has kept us in comfort, and disconnected from the truth of who we are.
Ingrid it feels to me what you are saying is that we have bought into the lies of creation which is the comfort and the disconnection. We place our attention on everything other than what we need to focus on which is the reconnection back to our soul.
Very interesting Alexander, this is so true and when we connect to purpose we know exactly what to do and what is needed.
Alex it can sometimes feel quite daunting to let go of something you feel has been a huge prop in life. Because if we let go then what… It is to let go and discover that actually there is far more to life than we realise and hanging onto to old patterns, ideals, beliefs what ever it is we are using as an excuse or justification keeps us locked away from the true beauty of life. I can put my arms and legs into the air and say I have and continue to play this ridiculous game.
Often we look too far ahead and thus don´t see where to start; the start obviously is always just the next step, hence the answer is always very close, maybe too close, ie. we may need to turn towards something within we have tried to avoid for a long time by looking outside – in other words: we know ! and thus we also know how to distract ourselves away from that knowing.
Alexander we definitely do know how to distract ourselves from knowing we are masters of distraction.
I also find that when I lose myself in overwhelm, I have lost my self. I love when I am connected there is so much space and I am in the flow of life and in this more is done without the trying or doing, its just done.
Yes, and how great is that awareness, that message from our own bodies? It is not coming from anyone else, it is our bodies saying ‘hey, where did you go?’
‘It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life’ – you could not have nailed it better than this. If we don’t start with us, we will be waiting for others forever and nothing will be done or there will be no difference in the world.
Shushila, I can feel an ouch in your words
“If we don’t start with us, we will be waiting for others forever and nothing will be done or there will be no difference in the world”
There is a gorgeous Album – Space sung by Racheal Kane and Benjamin Hurt, they remind us that we come from a place of true magnificence we just have to look up at the stars to remind ourselves of our true home. They sing about the surrender back into space, and feeling the grandness of the universe, they sing about where we come from and will return back to. We need the constant reminder of where we truly come from as we are constantly bombarded by a force that is determined to keep us in separation to the magnificence we all come from. Thank Heaven literally that there was one person who was willing to stand up against the forces of creation and say this is not it and live in a way that is totally contrary to everything we have been led to believe was true, but actually is a huge lie.
Love the concept of starting with us – it just brings so much simplicity to it. I am moving home and certainly felt the overwhelm of ‘where do I start’ but it really is about coming back to us and knowing what is needed and when.
Yep it starts with us. And I think the reason we over look this, is that we prefer to go into overwhelm about the ‘dramas of the world’, than to look at the ‘dramas of our own lives’. It can serve as the ‘perfect distraction’ to stop you from looking at what is going on for you and what drama you may be creating in your own life.
It certainly does start with us Vicky, I used to feel overwhelmed too but now knowing that it all starts with me living love and that this will naturally be reflected to the rest of world has changed everything for me. Every single one of our choices do matter.
I know that question so well. I know I have looked at many things and thought exactly that. But starting is all that is needed. One foot in front of the other, then the other foot follows right back.
Absolutely, it starts with us. There are so many areas of our lives we have let slide from the truth or the standard of Love we know we and those around us deserve. It does not need to be a big drama, but it does need a consistent commitment to live that level of connection, decency and respect to the best of our ability as our normal. This lays a quality in our foundations that feeds us back the quality we know is needed in the world.
The title of this blog reminds me of the words of a dear and deeply wise friend at a time where I felt lost. I said I felt like I just did not know anything anymore and he said ‘that is a great place to start’. I can feel that in surrender the next step will show itself without effort or trying. It is the fact that we acknowledge that we are not ‘it’ and do not need to ”know’ that brings us the next true step in life.
I love this Carolien, what you have shared what your friend shared with you as it gives us permission to just be and feel what we are feeling. The truth is we do not have to ‘do’ anything. It is not about doing it is about being.
I can so relate to this blog Vicky, I am in the process of clearing our clutter in my home, it feels overwhelming when I see how big the job is, but if I just make a simple start and take it step by step I know it will all beautifully unfold.
Doesn’t matter where one starts from, all that matters is the direction of movement. All else is a given.
Feeling overwhelm at any point in life only occurs when I am trying to put the breaks on my journey of evolution. When I take my foot off the breaks there is nothing in life I am not equipped to handle and trust plays a huge role in letting go of overwhelm.
I love the way you dealt with your overwhelm of what is going on in the world by bringing it back to how you are with yourself.
And, how often do we think about resolving world issues but forget to look within and start to live the love we so desperately want to see in the world? Bringing it back to how we are with ourselves is the first step and this crucial step is often missed when we go into overwhelm and searching for answers outside ourselves.
Starting with this moment right now is the most effective way to initiate true change and evolution, and it’s not difficult or hard.
Yes overeating is an abuse against ourselves. Being much more responsible as to how and what we eat and how much we eat brings with it a new level of care and consideration and a deepening level of respect that allows more solidarity within us to face whatever is before us.
It is important to be open to honestly feel the extent of the abuse that we have accepted as a humanity, as then we feel the purpose that is needed to bring focus to how we live our every day and the level of love we are willing to live with by saying ‘no’ to abuse of any form with ourselves and with others.
I agree Carola and recently it was so clear to me in a way I had not felt before that I do not like conflict or confrontation .. in fact I discovered I will do anything to avoid it, but in doing anything to avoid it it is still allowing it to happen! And not saying no to abuse. A slightly uncomfortable but great learning for me.
The more I accept life as it presents itself, the more I feel my responsibility in what is going on in the world.
Sometimes, the question of ‘where to now’ is a great one since it invites us to reflect upon what is holding us. Finding our north means a lot.
It feels like you are saying that where to now can only be truly felt if we know, claim and appreciate where we are now as well as nominating what it is that is holding us there.
Starting something that feels overwhelming is daunting, but taking the first smallest step and then the next breaks the overwhelm and a momentum is gathered to do what is needed.
Yes it is like sowing a seed, it doesn’t need to be anything big or grand, simply focusing on the quality of what we do as opposed to doing more will have a ripple effect as the seed grows and establishes itself.
This is huge, ‘simply focusing on the quality of what we do as opposed to doing more will have a ripple effect…’ imagine if this was taught at school, or in work places everywhere… the world’s productivity would shoot up as would the quality of our relationships.
If I ever find myself becoming overwhelmed by what I perceive is coming at me I stop; press the pause button. And in that moment I have given myself I ask – what it one simple thing I can do right now? – and I take the first step. Then I take one more simple step, and another and before I know it I am slowly coming out of the overwhelm and life is coming back to its flowing simplicity. One step at a time is my motto for life – yes I do forget it sometimes but it doesn’t take too long before I am reminded of the power of this simple message once again.
I agree Ingrid, I have just started a new job and have found myself falling into overwhelm a few times, it’s a really horrible feeling. I am now trying to the best of my ability to break everything down into chunk sized pieces, to walk my way through projects one practical step at a time. I have also found that if I don’t focus on everything that I don’t know then this helps me to not get overwhelmed.
It is easy to get overwhelmed by the abuse in the world but if we start with not allowing abuse in our own lives then overwhelm is no longer there. Stopping the abuse in our own lives prevents us from adding to the overall abuse in the world and that is how we do it.
I agree Elizabeth – well said, as this really begins in developing a loving relationship with ourselves, with our essence, with our love within, through which we then feel just how precious and sacred we are, and any form of dishonoring of this connection is an abuse to who we are.
When you look at the world it is overwhelming and it is hard to stay connected and present and not run away. But building that relationship with Love in the body means one step at a time is all that is needed. The quality of the step becomes the focus not the quantity of steps.
I remember having the same feelings of overwhelm when I looked at the state of humanity and when I was feeling this way, I also felt immobilised and felt that the task was too big. Now, like you Vicky, I dropped overwhelm and I understand that everything we want to change in this world starts with us. This brings the responsibility back to me and this feels very empowering and honouring.
It is not the where but the when to start – it is always now, and now, and now again, hence it is every-where.
And what I am really starting to realise with this Alexander is how much it has to do with our movements and momentum of movements. If we are not present with ourselves (our mind completely with our body in our movement, even when we are sitting down, and not looking to the future or being in the past but just completely in the moment) then it is so much harder to go into overwhelm.
I had a moment like that today where I thought where on earth do I begin after being presented with a massive task. I find keeping strong in my purpose for the good of all instead of just for me is always a good place to start.
I like what you have shared here Joshua, for when we don’t make a project about ourselves, searching for recognition or acceptance via our acts, then the product of our work tends to take into consideration everyone it will have an impact on and the quality is then a higher vibration too.
The moment I’m wondering where to start, I know I’ve made life complicated and I know I’m disconnected from the rhythm of the day and what needs to be done. It’s like when I stand in front of my wardrobe and I don’t know what to wear – the answer is not in wardrobe or in the clothes but in the movements that led to the disconnection.
hmmm, I will have to remember that. When we are connected there is a communication about what is needed from the get-go. So, making our movements and the quality of those movements an initial focus is planting a quality seed to nurture.
We like to think that we don’t know where to start, because when we’re in that, we don’t actually have to start, don’t have to take responsibility to deliver what’s needed, and then, conveniently, we don’t have space to feel what’s next, to expand and step into what else is there for us to deliver and express. ‘Not knowing’ is a way of staying safe and keeping small – but eventually we get to feel how restrictive and constrained this way of living and moving feels, and the impact on our bodies. Then the choice to align to the pull to create space, to feel what is next, and move with that higher purpose, becomes more obvious.
Every time now when I realize that something is not the way it should be, a person doesn´t feel the way I know them to be themselves, a quality is missing in a group conversation etc. I am reminded that I can bring and therefore am resonsible for bringing the quality that is required. That´s how we bring the change we see is needed for life to become and be.
Yes, the starting point is always with us – Every small step and choice taken to nurture and love ourselves through responding to our innermost connection. There is no saviour to do it for us, we are our own saviour.
“So, where do we start? We start with us”.
As you say Vicky, we start with ourselves and from there all else can change.
So, simple isn’t it Elizabeth and when we stay stuck in overwhelm it immobilizes us and we are not able to move let alone evolve ourselves of out misery.
There’s a great beauty about making our first step about Love and quality – it sets the tone for all else that follows. This tone is the true measure of life not the tasks we achieve or mountains we climb.
It sows a seed that is then nurtured in all other aspects of our lives. I am noticing that if I take time to stop and consider how I start my day, then I am more likely to be aware how I end my day and then it starts to sandwich everything in between, till there are no mountains, there are just rolling hills!
When we allow ourselves to go into reaction at all we see going on around us we get instantly pulled into the chaos and it is, from my experience, very hard to step back out of it. But if we are able to stop and simply observe, it becomes clear what the next step is. Taking one step at a time allows us to stay present and continue to observe just in case the next step needed is in a completely different direction.
I love your words of wisdom Ingrid and beautifully delivered. The key is to observe and not react, this makes a world of difference, Thank you.
In a world where we tend to expect others to fix things, to make changes, to make life better, we as individuals have let go of the fact that our life is our responsibility not anyone elses. And as there are more than 7 billion of us in this world it makes sense that how we live affects the whole world, so then it naturally follows that to make changes to what is unfolding in the world we need to make changes in ourselves, one step at a time.
I love everything about what you have shared here. It can be daunting to say the least when we realise how embedded in abuse our culture, our society currently is and to consider how on earth could we ever shift this or make a change. Yet in realising that how we live our everyday impacts the greater whole immensely, is incredibly empowering. To feel the power we all have to bring greater love and care in to our lives and our relationships by saying ‘no’ to abuse, is inspiring and highlights just how much we all do make a difference and play a huge part in shaping the world we live all in.
Hear, hear Carola, beautifully expressed and inspiring. This highlights that every choice we make matters to how our world is shaped, and I agree we all play an important role in this.
The presence of self-care is a great way to start the path of daily development towards wellbeing in all areas of life.
Yes it does shart with us, that highlights the fact that it is actually never about us and that in looking at our own lives the ripple effects of that are huge. People see someone who is living in a different way – making choices that are taking responsibility for how they are living. It just makes sense.
It’s very empowering to talk about how we can initiate change in our own lives and do very practical things that will inevitably impact the people we meet, and then the effects can ripple out from there.
Yes and it feels like it really offers us a foundation to stand on when the waves seem to get a bit high or the road gets a bit rocky. That reflection can support not only ourselves but others.
Turning within and starting with ourselves is the most enriching and full-filling experience we can have, and yet it is often the last thing we think to do!
Love what you have shared here Vicky – and especially in the last few months I have been feeling some overwhelm with how much I have on my plate and how much there is to do…and so, little by little, I am learning to stay focused and prioritise, but most importantly learning to turn inwards and seeking the strength from within. This is the best way to start, starting with ourselves, and our deepest connection that holds us in more ways than we can imagine.
A very simple, clear and practical message for us all Vicky. Thankyou.
In the past I have taken part in several protest march in the street claiming for our rights, demanding politics that the systems changed. But these events left me exhausted, frustrated and not really fulfilled as it was never enough. To be honest it was an excuse to express my anger by playing the victim role and pointing at others as the perpetrators of this chaos. I had this feeling of overwhelm many times, like nothing ever was complete. Today I stopped to support these kind of revolutions outside and I’m more focused on seeing what is my part in the creation of the systems that we have. True it is that it is unfair, dehumanized, rough and hostile but nothing different to when I judge myself, I overeat or I expect myself to be in a certain way, rather than to just appreciate myself for the precious woman I am. This is my work today and my new revolution which never ends but feels very enriching.
Brilliant article Vicky. It feels so simple but profound. Sure we can’t change everything overnight but we can start within ourselves and this is a huge start that benefits all.
It is easy to be overwhelmed if we look outwards to all that is abusive in this world and yet do we pay as close attention to the seemingly lessor forms of abuse that we may be overlooking in our own lives?
“Where do I Start?” – great question to ask Vicky and in relation to anything really… and what i’ve noted for myself is feeling whether i’m asking that from a heady, mental plane, or more so from the body that’s balanced, steady, full, honest. Because from the body the starting point is always known. And the (above) question becomes somewhat redundant.
Taking that most important first step is the way to approach anything in life, particularly if we are feeling that something needs changing – like the world. Trying to figure out how just one person can make a difference can be rather overwhelming but if we start from the beginning, with us, and take one step at a time the changes begin to unfold with no trying whatsoever.
Let´s start with our movements. No matter what´s the issue, we will always find a disharmonious movement as the cause of the problem. Before trying to address the issue, we need to change the quality of movement to be one of harmony to the best of our ability – no perfection required but a sincere approach to shift one´s attitude and hence way of feeling, thinking and communicating.
Absolutely, the quality of our movements are having an affect far wider than we may realise. When our movements are born of love all else aligns to this rhythm.
Where do I start is related to the overwhelm or time that comes with the task. An interesting approach is to start with one’s attitude or posture, e.g. seeing the bigger picture can help to recognise the parts or details for what they are, and get a sense for the flow in which they need to be taken care of.
There is a lot to do, as there is so much wrong in the way things are in the world, but it is not in doing a lot that this is changed, but rather by doing what is needed. And what is needed first, requires us to be a certain way, so that what we do has the quality that brings true change.
I love what you have shared about the overwhelm of where to start. It can seem so big and complicated. Yet the moment you take a step back and depersonalise it – stop thinking it is for you to fix and solve it all, there is an ease in the body that ensures it knows its next step.
Thank you Vicky, it’s true by looking at the sheer magnitude of what’s going on around planet earth in terms of abuse it feels too big to address, however we are addressing it by starting with ourselves. We may still add our support to local or global issues but true change does start with ourselves.
” Where do I Start? ”
When I read this writing , I was thinking of a baby . If a baby said ” where do I start ” . If a baby can do it surely its possible.
Beautiful John. This question brings me back to the simplicity of knowing that just being us is more than enough and makes a huge difference.
Starting with us is very powerful, for the most insidious abuse is the abuse we do against ourselves
The best thing I have found with starting something is to be very focussed and present with that one thing, no matter how many other things are waiting to be attended to. Otherwise I get overwhelmed and don’t start anything or try to do too many things at once which never ends well!
We can start by being honest with ourselves as with honesty we always feel what needs to be addressed. There is always a ‘first step’ no matter what our situation is or how bad we think things are…honouring this first step is all we need to do.
” This then becomes manageable, tangible and feasible. For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others. ”
Yes this is very true, it all starts with oneself and all that we participate in actively or passively contributes to the all.
By the time I get to ‘where do I start’, I have already delayed the initial moment when the timing was perfect to do something. Add a few of these together and you can have a case of overwhelm and the sense of dread of all you have left undealt with. When I respond instantly to what I feel needs doing, this question does not enter my head and the way to go about it comes effortlessly.
Love the simplicity of starting with us, because through small changes many things are possible, we have a responsibility to ourselves and the rest of humanity.
Hear, hear Sally this is very beautiful. It is easy to stay stuck in overwhelm and think everything is too hard. But when we start with us, changing the world is easy but it takes all of us to be onboard one by one. So, if we all wait, who is going to lead the way?
‘Where do I Start?’ or ‘how shall I do it’ is a question often asked in moments when we have a first realization or understanding and seeing the need or chance for change, but are still held by the pattern of the issue we are in the process of unraveling – somehow it seems we are blank. Interesting enough we often find the answer in the issue itself. When I have been e.g. disregarding and loveless, I will need to start being attentive and caring, just the intention is already enough to initiate the process; and actually we know that but haven´t chosen to make it our activity or movement, we are in resistance to activate it, as that means to let go of the familiarity and identification the issue provides us. Thus it is not really a problem of knowing what to do or how to start, but much more understanding one´s resistance still being at play, even when we had a realization and think we have the intention to change.
Fantastic observation Alexander. What you shared reminds me of how when I have used sheer will power to change a behaviour that was no longer supporting me without feeling into the ‘why’ of me choosing that behaviour, I inevitably went back to that unsupportive way. Many times I would wonder how I got there, but because that underlying source was not flushed out, I simply repeated it out of comfort and familiarity.
We are not responsible to fix the world, this we cannot do, but we are responsible in how we live with ourselves. As our choices become much more loving in the way we car for ourselves this sends out the vibration of love, that in due course, as more and more live with this connection this will change everything.
It is said that the buck stops here – pointing the finger or going into overwhelm signal defeat and giving up whereas taking responsibility for our own choices changes everything, even if we don’t get to see the results personally or in our lifetime.
Very good point Gabriele, we want to see the result and the outcomes in our own life because then we know what we did, offered, contributed to worked. It, perhaps, offers us our personal ego fix that we did that. Perhaps taking a moment to consider ourselves as part of a much bigger cog, one that cannot see the whole picture but can feel the value of our part in it, is a far more supportive way to approach the situations that present themselves to us in our life.
No matter what our situation is, there is always a true place to start that everyone can do.
At work I witnessed an elderly client being settled for the night, this meant changing her pad and moving her up the bed. I came in to help and was horrified by what I witnessed. The way the staff handled the woman was so rough and quick I felt it was absolute abuse and they had no idea this was the case. They would have thought they were just doing their job and very normal. I stood at the end of the bed and held her feet. When they left I connected with the woman as I could see how distressed she was, she said she felt like she had been handled like she was a lump of meat, she felt very deeply comforted when I confirmed her experience and appreciated that I had held her feet.
Abuse is happening all the time all around us, the more I am calling out my own self abuse the more I am able to see the abuse that many do not consider abuse, as I feel they are so numb to what is happening,
The cool thing is that even though many people may have numbed themselves to what is going on for them and others, if we continue to share and call out what is our own self abuse as Mary Louise has described here, then other people get to see an example of what is possible to do for themselves in their own lives, and bit by bit they may begin to do the same for themselves.
The change and magic one person can bring to their community is incredible, and most importantly ‘starting with us’ and being absolute in our commitment to supporting others, standing up for what is true and speaking out against abuse is confirming for others that they too don’t have to ‘fit the mould’. And thus we get to experience the power of two, three, four or more people changing the game.
Knowing there is a greater purpose beyond our own immediate needs is very supportive to make loving choices. By choosing to not harm me in any way I’m adding this foundation, therefore reflection for the world to be able to choose the same for themselves.
Going into overwhelm is making the potential of your power in that moment (of what is required from you truly) less.. This is disempowering yourself from the situation as you were actually shown that you are capable, but you need to turn up the volume, as we can stand still same to that we can not not move. So it starts now with you right now..
Mmmm maybe much to do on the home first front around self disregard and self abuse. Maybe when we clean up our own backyards, workplaces and communities the ripple goes out wider.
Inspiration for living, inspiration for loving – ourselves, all the way, more and more – yes, there is no end to how much we can love ourselves – and no end to the ripple effect this then has on everybody else.
Saying no to abuse is a great place to start any change in our lives.
I can relate to feeling overwhelmed by the concept of needing to start somewhere, but with the intensity of the world and everything going on every minute of the day, how on earth can we make a difference.
But, like you, I’ve come to understand and appreciate that it literally does start with us, ourselves, how we care for, live, accept and appreciate who we are first, and then all of those qualities naturally flow on to the way we are with others, and so on and so forth. That’s where we start, with ourselves.
Yes absolutely and what I have seen over the last few days is when we do start with ourselves this then reflects something to others. Also just by holding a space for someone to be themselves and express without being judged creates not only a change for that person but a reflection that we can all do this in our lives both for ourselves and others. True connection is key.
Here’s to loving ourselves deeply, truly, madly, deeply.
Gosh, so simple and so powerful: it starts with us, it starts with love and admitting we are part of a much bigger picture than this life here on earth. It starts with something that might seem a detail but has a big ripple effect: self-love.
I really love the simplicity of what you are offering, its magic!
Starting with ourselves, with building the quality in the way we live, how we are with ourselves and from there all others truly does make a difference. Let’s not underestimate the power and impact of the way in which we live in even the seemingly smallest moments and interactions…
Our divine spark starts with God our return to True religion starts with us by choosing to reconnect or being religious!
We start with love so that every step taken thereafter becomes infused in and with the light of our true making.
I recognise this feeling Vicky that you write about here and it occurs to me that perhaps getting caught in the overwhelm, is a way of avoiding looking at our own lives and where we are allowing abuse to be the normal.
Overwhelm is an emotion we call on to not take responsibility for the fact that we are love but are not living it to the degree we know we are capable of living it.
When answering that question, we have to consider whether we come to it from a linear kind of perspective or a circular one. If we come from a circular one, it does not matter where we start because we know that where we start is just a door that is communicated to other doors.
We actually know where we need to start, even though we think we don’t. What I have recognised for myself is that starting is the key. For once we start people will come along to assist us along the way. But if we don’t…nothing changes and we miss out on all those gold nuggets along the way, all those incredible people we get to meet and know and also how we can then do the same in return for others. The natural cycle of evolution begins with us simply starting.
We can only ever start any change with ourselves. Change ourselves and we change the world.
Yes even asking ‘where do I start?’ is already avoiding simply getting on with it!
And delaying the inevitable all the more.
Yes it’s so true, when in a situation where it doesn’t look like the desired result is in sight, then the only thing we can do is come back to simplicity, and our knowing of what is within, which is a release of an investment of any outer results confirming our worth. It is the that we step into our next true steps.
Nominate somethings not right and then if we move with awareness and self, we are back….. Simple
Although I feel if there is an unresolved issue or hurt being reflected it will get reflected to us again and again until we lovingly hold the idea and clear the disharmony – heal.
Love the simplicity of this.. nothing is too overwhelming if we break it down into moments and stay with our bodies to feel what’s needed in this moment right now, then the next and the next.. step by simple step. When we try to change several things at once overwhelm is waiting there to take us out and give us the perfect excuse to give up and withdraw or exhaust ourselves by trying to do it all.
Bringing simplicity to the potentially complicated, love it, there is a way out of overwhelm and the more we practice this by being present in our bodies and giving ourselves space, by being with ourselves as we move, the easier it becomes.
I really like this simple blog Vicky – just make a start – it matters not where you start to build more love in your life one step leads to another and the more loving we are with ourselves the more love will be felt in the world.
I agree and whenever I feel an overwhelm I know to put things back on the ground. In other words go to the next thing I feel to do. Overwhelm tries to hit you and make you feel like you can’t move or do anything or what’s the use etc and yet this is the very point you should be moving. Overwhelm is a sign or reflection for me to stop thinking about things and make my next move, action my next movement in whatever way you feel. It’s important for me not to dwell or stew in things like this for to long, movement is the key out of overwhelm that tries to make you feel stuck.
As our life is lived within us, so will our life be lived outside of us.
Vicky, what you are sharing here really makes sense; ‘For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse’, how beautiful to love ourselves so deeply, the ripple effects of this would be huge, there being so much love in the world that abuse would stand out like a sore thumb.
What I have been learning lately is, how reaction and judgment change nothing, but instead they actually make it worse. We look at the world and see the problems, but we are the ones that make up the world hence its problems.
It does start with everyone, equally so and in their own time. That is the only way that things as they are at present will change, from the inside out and not the other way around.
I agree and those that see this are called upon to take a strong and ever changing lead. That way there is a stronger and stronger reflection for us all to make or have the choice to make that same change. We are watching each other all the time, whether you are conscious of that or not.
This is such a grace to life that you bring with this blog Vicky, as indeed the only place where we can start is with ourselves first. Any subject or projects started without this assessment first will fail, or at least will not bring us the true answers we are looking for and thus we are kept in the same momentum that is causing all the abuse in the world in the first place.
I can really appreciate after a day working today, how when there is a lot to do, if you start with one thing and keep a consistent and steady pace with the task ahead, a natural flow and ease happens as well as a rhythm and it actually starts to feel really beautifull. I guess this confirms when we come from our bodies and let our body lead instead of our head, we are letting go of the struggle and doing of ‘life’.
I see how we can easily look at the problems and how do we fix them but what you present here Vicky is that we can actually look at how we are living and a constant refinement. Then our lived way inspires others to do the same. How inclusive.
It is easy to see how overwhelming how the state of our world and humanity is but knowing that we can each make a difference by starting with ourselves makes it possible to understand that change can happen, if we make that start for and within ourselves.
The state of our world is as a result of what we have allowed to become our ‘normal’, as such reflecting the nature of the relationship we hold for ourselves. In saying ‘no’ to abuse in our lives we say, ‘no more’ to abuse in this world. In embracing an honouring relationship with ourselves, we say ‘yes’ to honesty, truth and love, through which we will see this love reflected through every aspect of our lives. Such is the responsibility and true power we each hold to bring true and lasting change to this world.
As they say, “the buck stops here” – whatever we don’t like, abhor or condemn, it starts with us. In one way or another we might have even contributed to what is now anathema and it is our choice to not allow it in us or in our sphere of influence.
“It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life” all too often it can be us pointing to something outside, something to fix and not actually being aware of and fully embracing the responsibility that we each have.
If it starts with us then it has to finish with us and as we are the same, same no different as we all have to end up together, at the start or the place where we feel True Brotherhood!
But are we different? Different, so we are able to change, so change we will, but we will still be the same, same but no different from our inner-heart, and this is where we are always divinely connected, it is only when we choose to become different and thus lose our connection that we forget about oneness and brotherhood.
When we start with how we move in each moment we let go of the need to be somewhere else or having something finished. It’s our presence within our movements that will define how we move thereafter and the key to the quality of energy we move in. These movements will then mark a precedent for how we continue to move throughout life, and as a point to continually learn from and explore without perfection, but understanding that we can always make a choice to change our movements and start anew.
The simplicity of your blog Vicky is the key that keeps us on track with our purpose and not allowing ourselves to be overcome by overwhelm and stress. Staying present and observing our environments and all that goes on around us, allows us to remain connected, calm and clear in our day to day lives and the simplicity and answers for everything are right there.
I have found that if I am in overwhelm I am in my head and best thing to do is to go for a walk and feel my legs and my feet. After that I approach life as one moment and then anther moment and as each impulse comes I tend to that and life becomes a dance of joy again and then I am not adding to the woes of the world.
‘How much do we care and love ourselves within our own life?’ I have a little ‘love you’ note on my windowsill given to me by my daughter and it reminds me not to be harsh with myself. My inner dialogue has changed so much over recent years but the negative and harsh thoughts can slip in so easily and subtly that I find it hard to catch them sometimes so I love having the reminder.
The power of observation allows us to understand life is a cycle and so we need to go with the flow of what comes up instead of trying to control it, for as long as our inner-connection is there everything is constellated in order for us to evolve.
The moment we accept our unique power in full, we know, that everything we do will make a worldwide difference. For a human brain almost unimaginable, when it is not connected to the body, which is the vessel of communicating the universe through us.
Beautifully said Stefanie. As it is through developing a loving and honoring our relationship with our bodies that our true and loving movements will pave the way to the future we are all returning to – living our Divinity.
Yes we can wallow in regret or get overwhelmed at our huge mess. We can complain and bemoan all the choices we’ve made, but this just adds to the trouble we’re in. The way forward as you show Vicky is through small but definite steps, knowing that each one has a massive ripple effect. So, in effect, whenever we are doing one task, we contribute and change every thing that’s at large. It is super important to keep the grandness of who we are, with us in every step that we take, as this helps us appreciate the choices we make.
A lot of the ‘doing good’ in the world comes from this feeling of devastation we can get when we see all the abuse in the wold. But actually what you say Vicky it is much wiser to start with ourselves first and reconnect to that quality of life that resides in the inner-heart and from there there is absolutely no need to go into the doing. From there we understand that it is all about our being that will eventually restore our true nature in our societies and in the world, our true nature that does not allow for any abuse whatsoever.
I love it Vicky! The problem with the overwhelm is the paralysation that comes with it… and there is always a space to start with, which is always Us. Simple. And now it comes a question to me.. Why do we choose to overwhelm? Maybe to not assume our part in the whole mess? Maybe to delay a bit more the indulgence we live in, which is what is feeding it? It’s not my work to point anyone but honestly reflect on my own part. This is the only way I find I can start… step by step.
In order to improve the outer world, we must first improve the inner world. This is not to be approached with a set outcome in mind but more a gentle unfolding of the love that we are, being lived in our every move. This process is much like a flower’s petals opening to greet the warmth of the sun. Only with an absolute knowing of this inner beauty can we prepare ourselves to look out to the ugliness and know that such splendour will transform it.
The Micro will change the Macro scale .
Knowing the inner beauty…I love that.
Mastering the little steps we take is an art – then we are more solid and stable in our walk to return to who we are. If we leap, bite off more than we can chew or try to be somewhere we are not, we can wobble and lose footing thus becoming lost and not knowing where to start…
The key for grounding a foundation is appreciating the little steps you are talking about. The more we do that, the less chance is there to fall back into behaviours we actually outgrew.
A wise offering Rachel in mastering the little steps first; this then in itself takes care of the bigger steps if needed to take.
Brilliant blog Vicky. Hopelessness and overwhelm leave us stuck in the mess, responsibility allows us to lead the way out.
“where do I start?”
This question immediately raises panic or anxiousness with the sense of helplessness of the situation. To pause and be aware of our own breath and bring the focus to just one thing, is the beginning of space in the area in question and within the body.
The complication we accept then becomes this open myriad of other pictures, scenario’s and such that then cloud our perception of a certain situation or relationship. Allowing ourselves the grace to feel what is truly going on within our bodies returns us to the truth and the simplicity of honesty, that is a beautiful gift we all can receive anytime and anywhere, simply by changing our movements.
Great, thank you Vicky. Speaking up against abuse is crucial as we have become so used to so many forms of abuse that they have become normalised and not considered abuse anymore, we have let ourselves blank out hurtful remarks and situations and ways of behaving. Raising awareness and raising the standard of what we will accept or not lets us bring a greater sense of decency and respect back into our lives and from this we can build, we have a firm place to start.
Where do I start is one of those frequent questions that no doubt we all have asked, but if we are with ourselves fully present in our bodies, the answer comes from within and we know where to start, but first step is asking the question.
Keeping things simple and allowing myself to be in the flow of life is key to not going into overwhelm or complicating things in my head.
I certainly have days like that where I wonder where do I start. The only possible answer to that question can be that we start with our own breath and whether we are breathing our own breath or that of another or a situation that we are a part of. We have to breath our own breath and find our own starting and finishing point.
Simple and true, when we breath our own breath we are with our body and when we are with our body we move with ourselves.
I recently observed how accepting people are of abuse, such as shouting, being disrespectful, the silent treatment, anger, frustration, dismissiveness and the list goes on. So, I agree Vicky, we have to start by saying no to abuse whenever we experience it, witness it and feel it no matter how small the abuse may seem. I am learning to expose abuse for what it is and like you shared…’it starts with us’, being willing to expose and eliminate abuse in all areas of my life.
I can definitely relate to making something more complicated or daunting in my mind than it needs to be! Sometimes things may be a challenge but I find bringing myself back to the quality in whatever it is that I’m doing helps me to see more clearly what is really needed of me next…
I have just heard a message from a friend in London where someones teenage boy she knows went missing they found him and he is well however the news that he had was not so good. There is a new thing that is happening called country lines where a group of people are recruiting young people off of the street between the ages of 13 to 15 and sending them off to the country to train them up to sell drugs. They are recruiting young women and training them up for the sex industry and training them how to lie, the young people are accepting this because they are being given them the latest iPhones, trainers and clothing. Again after hearing this it could be easy to go into reaction. Making people aware of this is necessary especially young people but it is how we live and how much we love ourselves … what we reflect and how we meet others including young people that makes a difference. True value and self-worth can never be bought by another.
I so often think where do I start? At work, for a start, things can look pretty daunting at times and I generally I have two ways of doing it, the old and the new. Quite often I slip back into the old which is sympathy for myself or the world or a pretending that I don’t really care, or the new where everything I do, no matter how small has an impact, so at work every little thing I do is a step towards the end result and the quality I live my life has an impact on the world.
Love the simplicity of this blog, it is empowering to understand that each one of us has the power within to create great changes in our world, simply by embracing responsibitity of what is that we align to whether it is from truth or not as this carries an imprint within capable to inspire in another the love within themselves.
Through Serge Benhayon, a man who truly and deeply loves himself, the amount of abuse in my life has drastically dropped. I choose to follow the example he provides. In turn I have noticed my interactions with others over time abuse is being curtailed in their lives. The more I learn to love myself the more the world can change, awesome.
The more I call out the feelings of helplessness and overwhelm the more I am committing to life. So instead of taking myself to the pantry to avoid what it is I am to face I give myself some space to respond which brings me back to being present and a feeling that I can do what is being asked of me without any pressure that I may have put on myself.
Brilliant Vicky, it absolutely is like the mess you describe. Things can seem so overwhelming at first, especially if we try to think ourselves out of the state we got our body in which only makes it worse. It’s radical and takes loving discipline but what supports us most is just to make our next move loving and full of care. It can seem small but in these little movements live the future of the world.
Beautiful Joseph – and so simple and profound when we realise, and become willing to accept that; ‘It can seem small but in these little movements live the future of the world’. We have created a world where the subtle becomes overlooked in preference to the ‘grand gesture’.
The power starts with us.
I, being a part of humanity can start by taking the steps every day by the sheer guidance of the body in full expression without perfection but with a deep knowing that this is a process rather than a destination to fulfil. In walking every step, there is no room for overwhelm and anxiousness, as what was stagnant in feeling and in action when overwhelm took over, now has the opportunity to be lived and the livingness opens up the next feeling, the next absoluteness to be expressed.
We have already started when we bring our awareness back to our bodies and address the quality we are moving and living in. This we can all do and it travels far and wide.
‘Do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale?’ Do we allow ourselves to even see the abuse we are accepting and to what level we are allowing abuse.
This is a great question you highlighted Fiona. What you’ve shared is something I am becoming more aware of and learning to be more willing to see where abuse exist in my life that I haven’t let go of or dealt with.
I wonder what it is that makes it so hard to start when something is as big as say “stopping domestic violence”. Perhaps it is that we have to admit what we have allowed in the past, or perhaps we know we have sat on the sidelines, or perhaps it is our attachment to our own comforts and ease (i.e. its not our problem). Whatever flavour of not starting there is, it is clear the moment we decide to start, the work, and thus the change has begun.
Where do we start, is just a knowingness, like the knowing the order of letters in a word, it just feels right and when we commit it all flows.
I agree Vicky it is easy to look out at the world and see how destructive we have become with ourselves and others, and to go into sympathy and overwhelm, but this only serves to bring in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, and where do we go from there. The devastation would only lead us on the path of giving up, so as you have so elegantly stated, it has to start with us first as an individual, and how we live in every moment.
It is very easy to go into overwhelm when we look at the world, I really can’t understand on a physical level how humans are capable of such atrocities, so bringing it all back to us and how we move, breath and act is a great way of at the very least not adding to what goes on in the world.
We all know where do we start even if not everyone would start in the same place.
There are certainly parallels between abuse and a lack of appreciation… If we wake up each day, undertake the same activities, small talk and work that we did the day before without any appreciation for what we can provide for people through how we live or our relationships, then it’s very possible to neglect both ourselves and others because we think we’re just ‘not worth’ loving. But this is the complete opposite of what’s possible; every move we make has ripples, and actually the responsibility we have in society is empowering, inspiring and requires us to look after our body (vehicle) so that we can be our most amazing every day.
“Where do I start?” For me it is the consistent steps I make to pause, appreciate and move in a way that supports my body and my relationship with self because it is from these movements I begin to see how simple life can be and how important we all are to the whole. Thank you Vicky a beautiful blog indeed.
With all the abuse going on in our world today it is easy to see how feeling ‘but what can I do?’ would easily be what could be felt, but by you sharing this blog bringing it back to each one of us, starting with ourselves, makes it possible to bring the change we want for humanity and our planet, something we each can contribute to by the looking at the way we are living.
Yes, well said. Our own contribution to humanity is living in a harmless way, and this starts with taking a look and responsibility of whats going on in our own home, in our own back yard and the relationship we have with ourselves.
Going into overwhelm is a sure way to stop us from making a start because it can feel like a dead weight pulling us down and restricting our movements. But when we let go of overwhelm, making a start with anything in life comes with ease and joy.
Thank you Vicki for the great reminder to ‘start with us’ when we don’t know where to begin!
Starting is the important thing for everything follows on when we do.
Yes, and in that flow we are given what’s next. Movement is powerful.
This is such a beautiful blog Vicky, so very powerful in its simplicity. We are so used to running by all the needs and demands that are so manifold in the world, but the simple truth is that it starts with us, as you so succinctly say.
Building a connection with our body is so important as from this the knowing is there.
I agree Ruth as the body is a great marker for us .. the marker of truth, as Serge Benhayon has presented, and where we are truly at in life. By being with the body we do then not get caught up, or caught up less with everything that goes on around us and in the world. Building this connection also reflects a steadiness, consistency and commitment to others around us showing there is another way to live and be.
This is such an important message, the state of the world can easily put us into overwhelm and helplessness and we can counter that with the understanding that what we can do starts with us, looking at how we live, what changes we can make in our own lives.
I had a day like that today where I asked myself “where do I start” and the answer came very quickly that I needed to start with the quality of breath that I was choosing to breathe. Once I had connected with myself through my breath the day flowed really well. Sometimes we forget how important the breath actually is.
Imagine if we counted all the moments and minutes we wasted – I think we would be horrified! What if our time is not our own and it’s not our right to waste what we have been given?
Definitely something to be with Meg, as I felt with my body more the other day what are we being a vessel for? Love or what is not love.
The clutter around us is often a reflection of the clutter inside us. And hence we begin by de-cluttering on the inside so that it is easier to know how to declutter on the outside.
Understanding how we start in life lifts a huge weight of our shoulders and gives a purpose to life that bring a reflection that is true to our-self.
I agree Shirley as well as what other people have shared here like not going into reaction, starting with one thing at a time, being present with our body, honesty is really important because if there is overwhelm and we do not allow ourselves to feel it that is when we can get into a spin so to speak. Whereas if we feel this and call it out, even silently to ourselves, it initiates a stop and gives us the opportunity to then not choose or go into this.
Yes, it is worthwhile questioning how long we are going to indulge in feeling helpless and victimised before we see that the power is in our hands to change the way we live and therefore the world around us.
The simplest way to tackle any task is first being present with ourselves and then choosing just one thing to focus upon and begin dealing with it – this works wonders and what appeared to be a mountain is found to not even be a molehill!,
The kinder I am to myself, the less I want to harm myself.
When I read this Sarah the question that came to me is why on earth would we want to harm ourselves in the first place!!! Is that not completely absurd? But we do in the forms of overriding what we feel, disregard, accepting abuse, being addicted to things, It is not within our innate nature to do any of this .. so I guess this just exposes how far away we are living from our truth in the first place in order to be able to harm ourselves.
Where to start… with complete observation and absolutely no reaction whatsoever. Reaction is what gets us nowhere as we get blinded by our own emotions.
I remember a friend of mine a few years back feeling overwhelmed by what was happening in her home country of Israel. She was full of grief and shame. With help she began to realise that she was taking responsibility for her whole country and carrying it on her own shoulders. Way too much for one person to do! We are responsible for our own body, our own life and the way we behave and express. Beyond that, we do not have any control. But how we live affects everyone, so we can do our bit.
‘“Where do we (as humanity) start?” and “How on earth do we stop or change the abuse that is happening in the world?” ….With Love in its true form.
Where do we start – with our breath.
We start with connecting to our self, listening to our body and the knowing of what next is obvious.
Years ago I was wanting to write something but could never quite begin. A blank page can seem daunting. Reading somewhere the advice to ‘just write…… about anything’ made an impression on me. Just making a start enabled the creative juices to flow and once into the piece I wanted to write I could delete the earlier rambling writing.
Looking at a huge issue to be tackled can bring me into overwhelm, but just beginning in a small area supports me to continue. Recently I needed to clutter clear my garage. Just making a start with a few boxes enabled me to slowly and gently continue over a few days. Understanding I didn’t have to do it all in one go enabled me to do it little and often …… as you say Vicky, ‘we just need to make the start.’
I am coming to the end of submission time for my studies and have found myself sometimes going into overwhelm at the amount of work still to do and the questions just seemed endless. To break this behaviour I have found that I need not make it so hard and simply answer one question at a time, because thinking to far ahead just sends me into overwhelm and panic and my body feels it too. Allowing the space to simply feel my posture in the chair and the light delicate moves of my fingers on the keyboard brings it back to simplicity and the stress and overwhelm leaves and the answers to the seemingly endless questions flow. The body knows the rhythm in which it moves with absolute clarity.
Hi Kelly 💕 yep I have found this too I am currently clearing both my office at work and the space at home with lots of paperwork involved!! I am just starting .. with one thing and slowly slowly it is getting clearer and the space and my body feel so much better.
Beautifully said, we start with us and the quality that we live in and letting others in.
I noticed that even my reactions to seeing these world events come with a judgement and this is also a form of abuse that adds to the abuse. It takes a wise person to be able to observe and hold the love in the face of all that is happening within the world currently.
Where to start? When I get caught in this the only thing that brings me back is doing one thing well and completing it, then carrying this quality to the next.
Thats what I do too Abby, it only takes one thing done well to change everything, because then the path is cleared to do the same with all the other tasks and it never looks as daunting and can actually be quite enjoyable. We are after all made to work, and our bodies respond with pleasure when we do this in our own flow.
I am finding more and more openings to conversations as I go about my day, with people in shops it happens a lot. By expressing how I feel about social issues and really listening to the other person we can have an exchange whereby we both know where to start.
“It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?” A beautiful reminder that we all are part of the bigger picture on earth and each of us has our own responsibility making it really simple and affects the whole and this takes away the overwhelm and makes it practical.
Yes, it starts with us, in the simplest of ways. Even bringing awareness to walking from the front door to the kitchen, by feeling the quality of the placement of one foot and then the other foot can bring a stop to any sense of overwhelm.
Absolutely Stephanie. Every step we take makes a difference. But it is in the quality of the steps that we have the potential to either bring about true change, or that will keep us from ever evolving.
Without a connection to our body through movement and breath we invite overwhelm and anxiety in.
Spot on Kathleen, connection is key – it’s a simple choice to always come back to our breath.
Sometimes I get this ‘Where do I start?’ feeling with my issues or things in my life I know I need to work on – but equally to the approach to issues on a wider scale, if we don’t allow the overwhelm to take over and instead give space to make changes one step at a time, then life opens up and we can reflect back to the world that our issues or areas that need work need not weigh us down or become impossible, but can be moved through with grace and at the same time not dropping our commitment or responsibility to and in life.
A good place to start is with the body and breath – with connection to one’s self, and from there, the rest is known.
I used to feel the same overwhelm when I was looking at the state of our world, but now I understand choosing to feel overwhelm was an excuse to not take responsibility for life and for what we have created collectively. Once I realised this, I no longer felt overwhelmed by the state of the world but feel totally empowered and know exactly where to start.
It is so powerful when we feel overwhelm to stop and come back to ur senses. Overwhelm can only come from us not being present in the moment and with our body and being and instead have submitted to the madness of what human life is presenting to us in every corner of life.
For me it always starts with myself or should I better explain with the connection I have to myself. If I chose not to have a connection I am in overwhelm or in anxiousness or in a drive . . .
Could it be that as we move in a way that connects to our inner-most or our ‘true connection’ then that movement guaranties that we stay in our deep connection? Then our ‘true connection’ is something that needs to be paid more attention to because if we move in a way where we get distracted then we lose that connection. So how do we stay in connection with our inner-most? Maybe it is our will that hold this connection? As life flows we show respect and decency towards our self and others and this never stops!
Greg this is something I am learning and feeling in my body more and more (although this very much feels like baby steps at the moment!) that is how important our each and every movement is as these can build up to a momentum of taking us out to then be in the questions or overwhelm of ‘where do I start?’ e.g. if we rush, are stressed, in anxiety, not truly connected with our body. However, when I am truly with me and move in a way that does not feed stress, anxiety etc but confirms my presence within my body I am a lot less likely to as the question ‘where to I start’ as this is naturally known and tasks or a way of living that is needed will naturally flow in accordance to the Universe.
Spot on Vicky, it is the movement that we align to before the question. So that our movements are never in the energy of self-doubt then the ‘where do we start’ never eventuates and if it does we take a step back to see where our movements deviated away from the ‘presence within our bodies,’ thus what deviated us away from our inner-most. Then could it be possible that when we discover what has deviated us away from our essence or inner-most this can then heal that area of our life so we have a clear understanding of how to evolve from being disconnected?
This shows how important every little thing is and how we treat ourselves impacts us and the world. So if we treat ourselves with care …. this naturally ripples out, and we chip away each and every one of us until there is no abuse in the world, that’s how it works all of us each doing our part, inspiring each other as we do. Thanks for so simply joining the dots Vicky.
The overwhelm of not knowing where to start can as you have shared Vicky become a block to making change. In truth we are only responsible for ourselves and our own way of living and being in the world. This blog breaks down something that can be so huge into something so simple which will build an outpouring of love that will be felt in to world.
This really does help me understand the true responsibility we all have to love ourselves deeply, to be shinning stars to inspire humanity, so we can all get there in the end.
Many great things happen when we overcome the “where do I start” thoughts and just get on with what we need to do. In those moments it does seem we are not really making things happen, but allowing things to channel through us. I have experienced many occasions where I could wonder how I did something, but it is easily explained when we stop trying to own the things that we think, and instead accept we are vessels that energy passes through and it is only what we have aligned to that allows this thought or that.
Indeed Stephen, feeling overwhelm is actually a moment where we have disconnected from this inner knowing that comes from the connection with All, the connection with the all we can choose to be in correspondence with or not.
You know that moment when your having a clear out and there is a point where everything is total chaos and you could easily just walk away, give up but you can’t because then your house would be a total state so you just commit to getting the job done then you find very quickly and easily the mess clears, order and space and harmony returns.
Starting with ourselves is a very beautiful and self honouring feeling as it offers us the space to expand our own deeper understanding of what the world is ‘calling for’ – and when we begin to allow this greater wisdom into our lives we let go of the need to fix – and can therefore honour others as they also begin to feel the ever present pull of the Universe.
Brilliant in its simplicity Vicky… we start with the first simple step, and continue the journey in the same step by step manner always moving forward and with a focus on what is to be felt or to be done next.
When we are not connected we attempt to take short cuts, and we use the excuse we did not have time. If, we did not have the time to do right the first time, when will we have the time to fix it later? When we are connected, the starting point and time are never an issue.
A beautiful things about changing our life is that we don’t have to do a big overhaul so to speak, and in fact examining exactly where it is that we stand and taking small steps from there is far wiser and gentler approach to take.
Exactly, Harry, it is certainly not about doing an overhaul but as someone else shared it can just start with the tiniest thing but if we do that every day with consistency then this starts to build a more loving and supporting foundation for ourselves .. which in turn then supports others.
Even just coming to an awareness of the world outside of us, being willing to really see the full extent of what is going on is a start – if everyone woke up and was willing to truly see the extent of the suffering in the world, then we would be at a starting point where true change could occur for until we choose to see it in full we can continue to sweep it under the carpet.
I am really getting to understand the importance of not going into sympathy with others as it doesn’t help. By all means throw the life line in, but stand on the edge and wait for the tug on the rope that says pull me out of this mess I have got myself into.
It is so easy to get caught up in the overwhelm of how much there is to do in so many situations, and to then be so overpowered by it that we do nothing. Whereas when we bring it back to ourselves and focus on the small things that are very ‘doable’, gradually the bigger things get taken care of step by step.
Our connection to ourselves is everything. This is the only place we can ever start from that will not, in the end, make us feel overwhelmed and dis-empowered.
Beautifully expressed Kathleenbaldwin, when we choose to connect to ourselves, there is no room for overwhelm but only love and purpose.
This blog so clearly shows why it all starts with each and every one of us. Universally most don’t accept it when children say, ‘But they made me do it.’ We stop and support the child to see in fact that no one can make them do anything – that’s is all in their hands and their choice as to what they do at any one time. Over time as children realise and accept this, it usually leads to more harmonious relationships between the children involved which then flows on to the more loving tone of the family/friendship group/classroom/club – wherever the relationship is.
It’s the same for adults – more harmonious relationships lead to a more harmonious life. People are more magnanimous towards each other and so the care and connection with one’s fellow human beings ripple out and around the world. It’s definitely the way each of us can start to make a true and lasting difference. May the accumulative effect of valuing and respecting ourselves and all others keep growing so every aspect of abuse is seen, dealt with and eliminated from our lives and thence the world.
The best place to start is to be totally present in our body and listen to the impulse of what next.
True change always starts from within ourselves, by first us taking responsibility for our choices in the. That is in everything from the way we live and the quality we interact with others. Starting with decency and respect, making that our true foundation and allowing anything that is not from love to be exposed and renounce for good.
If we view things as a start then we will ultimately see an end, but like what happens when we rest and close our eyes at night, without doubt we open them again in the morning, so everything is a constant cycle, and doing a task such as beginning an essay may seem hard if we sit with the view that we have a task ahead of us and we start with nothing. Why not start feeling the cycles that were before us and the ones to come knowing that the current project will be taken care of – knowing there is more?
When we the question ‘where to start?’ arises we know that we have lost touch with ourselves already before we arrived at the question. Thus, we need to start by coming back to then know how to proceed.
We started lifetimes ago, and the journey is a continuum – so as you say Alex, with the question is the acknowledgement that we have disconnected a bit from that, and all we have to do is reconnect and then hey presto the next step will become obvious on our return back to the truth.
This is beautifully simple Ariana and great to remember. When we feel overwhelm come back to connection before moving on.
Sometimes there are days, for example after a very busy time, where one can be fragile. In such a case it can be helpful to just stay fragile and to simply get started. If it is not the right spot to start that will usually be apparent quite quickly.
I agree Christoph. Pushing through or using drive to get something done just does not work, the quality of the work or task along with our body is greatly compromised. I love what you say here, if you are fragile stay with that fragility. With fragility there is strength not a weakness as we have been led to believe.
The outward is always a reflection of the inward.
Very simply shared, “outward is always a reflection of the inward”, when we work on ourselves first then this would be a true reflection to others.
yep I love what Abby has shared as well it is so simple .. if the outward is not right …. check where the inward (within) is at
We start with our body and the ease of our movements tell us exactly what to do.
“This is possible – we just need to make the start. So, where do we start? We start with us.” I love this. Plain and simple. One step at a time.
“Where do I Start?” – there’s nothing like focusing on the breath and establishing what quality it is first to then actively make it gentle and breath that quality into the cells of the body – I don’t know where i’d be without the simple teaching and practicing of The Gentle Breath Meditation by Universal Medicine.
Thank you so much for the blessing of reading this today. When I consider how much is designed to not encourage love, care, kindness, decency and real engagement in making life about all those things for ourselves and others I often wonder where do I start? Yet it is each and every one of us that contributes to this mess or not. I am putting both feet in the ‘not going to contribute’ camp and to make my life about being aware of if my actions follow through my pledge. No perfection but a commitment to consistently pay attention to being the change I want to see in the world, not just for myself, but for all others equally.
How simple it is then to change the world, knowing that the values, respect, love and adoration the we live with is the microcosm that affects the macrocosm. Never, ever underestimate the power of physically living love.
I agree, I have felt this feeling, overwhelmed by everything that is going on in the world, in the past I used to give up and compromise and attempt to ignore it, now when I feel the tension I will more likely re-commitment to understanding that how I live has ripples and there ripples can support this world or cause harm…I get to choose, and this more than enough, because ripples of love felt, inspire others.
That is true, there are plenty of purposes coming out of this situation.
Yes we start with us. And we can start with the tiniest little thing. Just making one new choice consistently is enough to make a difference. This then has a ripple effect and makes it easier to make new choices in other areas.
Yes Rebecca, I remember the first thing I started was to honour my sleep and go to bed early, the was the first step I took, which then lead on to the Gentle Breath Meditation and other things followed that supported my self care choices.
Is there a start button any-where and once started do we stop or do we simply move in a way that continues to expand our consciousness, and thus we are continually evolving and never stop? Even though on some days we seemingly stop, but is not this a part of a learning curve and thus a part of our unfolding towards our evolution? As you say Vicky, when I gave myself space to feel into this a bit more I did not feel helpless, I did not go into sympathy.
Well said Greg, there is indeed no start of stop button it is but a continuous flow and how we respond to life I guess depends on what flow we are in. If I am connected and with me I can observe but not absorb and if I am out then I can absorb (although I feel I do this less and less now). So when we have a moment of ‘where do I start?’ it shows us where we are truly at … and need to get back into that flow and true connection … something I am constantly learning and definitely not perfect at!
So true Vicky, our body needs to be in a flow that comes from our connection to our inner-most. And the inner-most is what can be felt when using the Gentle Breath Meditation! This connection then takes the “guess” out of the equation so as you say we ‘observe’ and then respond without reacting. So could it be possible we start with our Breathe?
Putting everything into perspective and within our responsibility and reach. Thank you, Vicky.
Keeping it simple and close to home, in fact the home inside us, our essence, that if given time and space to feel the true value of ourselves knows what to do, is so right Vicky, and does stop that feeling of helplessness and that we have to change the world. And frantically doing good works to try and improve the situation doesn’t work either. It has to come from inside us with respect for ourselves and others and expand outwards, and it is that energy that will change things.
I read this and cannot but appreciate how powerful reflection is – people clock everything and just one person reflecting another way is seen. When I don’t want to appreciate how powerful reflection is it’s because I don’t want to be responsible and want to discount its power.
Karin, it so true people clock everything, our reflections are powerful. If we can appreciate how powerful reflections are we can truly understand the level of responsibility we need to the choices we make and the way we move, as others are constantly clocking everything.
It is true Karin – we all clock everything through our body, although we may choose to ignore the fact by choosing to be in the head and stuck in mental energy, which has us forever going round and round in ever decreasing circles of stress, reactions and contraction of the body, closing down our awareness – another way of irresponsibility.
Self reflection is one of our greatest assets as it is key in taking responsibility for our own behaviour.
Where do I start? If I stay totally present then I know where to start and do not get overwhelmed, the minute I disconnect from my body I am thinking about the thousand and one things I need to do all at the same time and I am totally overwhelmed and get nothing accomplished.
To bring the responsiility back to ourselves, regardless of the situation we find ourselves in is certainly not something that most of us have been willing or even aware of, and that it may be exactly that that could and does begin to implement a change in our circumstances, and consequently everything else that is going on around us.
Things are actually much more manageable when we just get stuck in and find a rhythm of how to work, be in relationship, look after ourselves and constantly learn along the way (which replaces the normal ups and downs of life).
There is only one person responsible for how our day started and what we did or didn’t get done, us!
I wonder if the question of “Where do I start” can be answered with “What is there to do right now”?.
Maybe? For me with ‘What is there to do right now?’ question I feel absolute honesty is needed as from experience I could start doing something when in truth I was not connected, listening or in tune with my body where instead something else was needed to be done instead. I could also have a tendency to go into drive with ‘what is there to do right now?’. But I guess ultimately with both questions this is about are we in the flow or not and if we are this would never or might never be asked. The other thing is, it is not about perfection, but instead an opportunity to learn and evolve. Great to have this discussion.
Yes that is awesome Christoph. With that question l can feel how to move forward with a willingness to serve.
The ripple effect is amazing and far reaching in it effect and as each one of us accepts and lives from love in our lives, saying no to abuse in its various ways, the ripple effect grows and grows, as more and more self loving choices are adopted by people as a way of life.
When we think of what needs to be done within our human limitations life can be overwhelming if not threatening, but when we connect to the more that we are, the not human but divine aspect of us we change perspective and things are seen and understood in a completely different light that supports us to relate to life from something that is greater than all the devastation.
This is so profound Alex and so true. If we approach a situation from a position of contraction every thing will be an issue or a difficulty. Even the simple task of breathing will be a problem.
I love what you have both brought here. This not only brings into consideration our very way of being i.e. do we see ourselves as small, or our tense in our bodies (living in contraction) but also the importance of our perspective on life .. something I feel is not considered or discussed very much as it could be. Currently I would say we take a lot of things on face value. It also highlights the importance of true body confidence, self-worth and self-esteem as if we are lacking in one or all of these this will affect our ability to be who we truly are and therefore how we either respond or react to life.
True change always starts from within ourselves, by taking responsibility for our choices in the way we live and the quality we interact with others in with a foundation of decency and respect so anything that is not from love can be renounced for good.
When I listen to my thoughts they often lead me to overwhelm especially when I have been living disconnected to myself, but when I listen to my body it always guides me to be more loving and shows me how easy it is to take one step at a time leaving overwhelm behind with each step.
Yes, our mind can be not very smart at times.
Starting is part of our approach to life, and whether we wake up and say “Let’s do this” or we wake up and delay or put off what we need to do, and our approach to life determines the quality of our day and how quickly we are going to embrace everything that’s ahead of us that day.
Could it be possible that it is as simple as stating with respect and decency towards our self first so that develops into a lived principle and then this becomes how we treat others, which will flow into all areas of our lives?
‘For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others.’ Great way forward to stop abuse, just have to get all on board which may not be that easy. Thing is, if one person starts, as Serge Benhayon did, then the domino effect can be huge.
We can stand too long in the overwhelm of wondering what to do, and in this we lose the connection with the flow of just doing it as it unfolds and presents.
Where do we start, when it comes to global matters? This is a great question Vicky and love the way you have presented here…it is about starting with the little things, the little steps and watching the quality of everything we do and say and how we move etc. It starts ‘small’ in ourselves, in our homes and from here goes out globally. How we are with the small things will always have an effect globally, but what we forget is the quality of the foundational steps that build us towards to bigger steps – these cannot be undervalued.
Overwhelm can be crippling, but it is a beautiful reminder that when we focus on the simple and most important things, like listening to our body and what it is asking for, and then acting on it, the pressure of the overwhelm begins to lessen. So gradually in time, everything is taken care of.
Change comes from the parts that make up the whole, we are all a part so when we start the whole must change to, this brings it back to our responsibility, and recognising ourselves as part of the whole.
You can feel the quality in those who have reclaimed themselves back from abuse. There presence commands respect and decency, you feel safe around them and free to be yourself.
Saying no to abuse … and that means not allowing abuse in our own behaviour and lives.
Your blog reminds me that we always start with energy. The energy we start with dictates our next move, step by step. We don’t need to have everything worked out from the beginning. Every step taken towards truth and love is a success.
That’s so true, we don’t need to have everything worked out at the beginning, if we begin with quality then the next step and the next step after that is guaranteed.
Very true Leonne, and we seem to have misinterpreted the meaning of success in our society and what you’ve shared makes it so simple and clear.
I love the simplicity in this. When feeling overwhelmed, come back to the centre. The body that’s surrounded by all of life. Then I can go deeper into myself and from there go forward. Trying to fix life on the outside first never really works or at best is temporary and at worst, covering everything up.
We can choose overwhelm or we can choose simplicity. Often when I do not choose, overwhelm will choose me when life seems to be a series of unending tasks. But when I move one step at a time, and I am with my body, there is no space for overwhelm or anxiousness, then I will know how to deal with all the moments that come, as I couldn’t deal with anything that has not happened yet.
Pretending that we don’t know where to start is simply another technique that we employ to stall our own evolution and boy oh boy do we know how to do that!
Overwhelm can easily kick in when you try to tackle everything at once. You need to know where to start and take each step as it comes, in its right timing. Then you are only dealing with what is before you and without the weight of the whole thing.
Any mountain must be climbed one step at a time.
So easy to fall into complication and overwhelm, it seems to be our ‘go to’ in these busy times. And I have noticed we can champion it as somehow showing that we are are working hard or trying to make a difference.
Simplicity on the other hand is right there as a choice to be made also and as you say Vicky, stopping and observing makes the space for that, and in that space offers the next step to be taken.
It starts with the “I”. It is so easy to look outside of ourselves for answers or to blame. Responsibility is the key word. Taking responsibility for what we have created in this world, by how we have been living is the first step.
The ‘Where do I start?’ can be a great place to be, as it is an indication that we have the awareness that something needs re-imprinting.
A ZEN saying, states that the longest step of any journey is the first step? How true is that when we procrastinate?
Vicky, this brings it back to simplicity, but in starting with ourselves, we can make a difference to all the horrible things that are going on in the world. With each person that says no to self-abuse, and yes to decency and respect, the way is lit and they can inspire others to make the same changes.
The slogan ‘Yes, we can.’ once was very promising for the American people but because it came as a false hope stirring emotions it lacked the inner willingness to set free what is known within and to act upon it, personally and collectively. It is not hope we need but willingness, a willingness to take responsibility for one´s own part in the bigger picture.
It is so simple when we start with our selves. For instance, if we care for ourselves then we are able to care for another. If we do not allow abuse, then we will not abuse another. So obvious that starting with ourselves is the way to change on a bigger scale, it is a shame most of humanity have not yet cottoned on to this simplicity.
When I change how I am with myself I see the change in others. It’s not selfish as supporting ourselves supports the wider world around us then around them and so on.
In Science, in Nature we know the microscopic has an impact on the macroscopic, that everything is connected, yet it would appear that the human race has chosen to live outside of this evolutionary science.
Where do we start is such a great question and one that at 1st can seem very overwhelming. When I go into my mind to think about it the overwhelm and the giving up come in thinkign its all too much. Yet the moment I go to my breath and my movements and choose to focus on their quality then things naturally become to fit into place and the overwhelm receeds and suddenly the space opens up to do what is there to be done. And then when that is done the next thing comes along. The Gentle Breath Meditation as presented by Universal Medicine is a great place to start!
We start by being ourselves in our fullness…how simple and how glorious.
We definetly start with us as there always so much going on ,drawing us away and sometimes into overwhelm when it comes to the mess humanity is making on this planet . We said it is up to us individualy to connect and live our truth and love first and never give up as the world definetly needs this reflection.
“It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life” – definitely Vicky and unless there is honesty and admission to assess what game(s) we are choosing to run us, then we remain stuck in this cycle of abuse and depravity from the void of simple love, decency and respect.
So true Zofia, being honest is a critical part in this as it is easy to not be, to deny, to overlook or pretend everything is okay and then as you say nothing changes. There are still many more areas in my life I could be honest about and I love what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presented re absolute honesty.
All the support is there for us to ‘address’ things in the moment, when we allow delay, everything becomes so much more complicated.
‘It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life…’ for if we allow any amount of abuse in our own life, we are also ‘tolerating’ it in the wider world also. I am observing more and more where I am ‘tolerating’ behaviours that I find abusive in my relationships and more and more I am choosing to speak up. Interestingly, I’m being criticised by others, not by the person I’m addressing, but others who feel I am being too harsh – great confirmation of how our investments in relationships deter us from ‘rocking the boat’.
Where do we start when there is a mountain to scale? We start with the little steps, we start with the foundation that lends the way to the top, and we focus on the quality of each step. Every little step counts and is to be appreciated. And sometimes looking too far ahead is overwhelming, and so you stay focused on the task at hand, and then when you do look up, you get to look back and see how many steps have been laid down already, and so securely and lovingly in quality, and this then feeds the energy to keep going, And then you look forwards and see the purpose of where you are headed and then this pulls you along. And then you get to the end only to realise it was not that steep and not that long and that everything was set in place to support you to get there. And then you look up again and see there is another mountain to scale, this time twice the size, and ten times as steep…have we learned our lesson or do we go into overwhelm again?
‘Where do I start’ can be a response when we do not choose to meet each moment as it arrives. Making the choice happens in the moment. When we choose to be in one moment at a time and make that moment everything then the outcome will be perfect. Every moment counts and by taking one moment at a time then there is no overwhelm, no judgement between moments or valuing one thing as more than another.
I agree Christine what also has been brought more to my attention and awareness today is every movement counts as well. For if we are in the flow and our movements are in a constant and consistent true flow there is no start or stop moment the movement just continues. But if our movements are coming from outside of ourselves (moving in an energy that is not true to us) then there is no true flow .. hence we feel like we are continually stopping and starting things/tasks etc rather than it being all one movement.
This blog has come at an opportune moment Vicky, so thank for your simple reminder to stay focussed on the present and pay attention what needs doing in the day and not allow my head to rush off into the future or waste time on the past. It really does make a lot of difference when faced with a huge workload.
If we kept it simple and did not fall for complexity that we so enjoy creating, we would realise we know exactly where to start, and that starting point is forever in the same place – within.
When I wonder how to start the only way to start is simply starting and going forward step by step because I found then I know what to do. If I look too far ahead overwhelm comes in and when I don’t start I don’t know what to do.
In any argument the first thing we often do is criticise the other person and their ‘fault’ in the relationship/situation, but what if the most effective antidote was looking at US first and foremost, our actions, movements and lessons there to be learnt, before even mentioning the other side?
I love what you have shared here Susie. Because either way if is a relationship with another or to do what is going on in the world it all comes back to us first our actions, our movements, our choices, our expression (or not!). Not to scrutinise or criticise but to learn, change and heal.
Love the simplicity that is being offered here as I relate fully to ‘where do we start?’ as so often when I ask this question there is only one place – which can only be with ourself. How I am with myself and my body is what matters.
“Many times I have gone into overwhelm (and sometimes still do), asking myself this question and making the task bigger in my mind than it truly is…” What this reflects to me is the fact that if we keep thinking about where to start instead of taking the first step we never get anywhere, yet at the same time the importance of the quality of energy in the step we take. Considering this fact then makes it not about controlling the step we take knowing the detail of how that will play out in the what is needed, but taking the step with the deep appreciation of the fact the quality of that step will change the world.
I know, me going in overwhelm about anything, is only to delay what I know to be true. When I stay present I know how to be and what is needed.
We could in fact ask, “why did I ever stop?”. And that isn’t meant to mean that we are always doing/in motion. More that we are designed to never switch off…and thus a “where do i start?” can only exist if it was preceded by a switch off.
Brilliant point Otto. It’s in the stop that we can be buried alive, while thinking that we are living.
A strange segue perhaps but it reminds me of music. How we so often say ‘lost in the music’, ‘taken away by the music’ etc…which begs the question; so where do we go and if we are ‘lost’ who/what is running us? It’s the same with a stop. If we leave the building (our bodies) then what comes in the back door.
This is such a beautiful little read Vicky, a great one for just keeping it real and simple and then nothing becomes a problem.
We don’t want abuse, but we have to be very honest with ourselves about why and how we add to abuse if we truly want to eradicate it from our lives.
Change although can be inspired from other it actually always starts from with. We all occupy space and have a responsibility to hold the qualities of the world we all deserve to live in. So yes, I agree it begin with us and in our homes.
Making us responsible and very empowered… a point of inspiration or resistance… our choice.
When I am in overwhelm I have already left my body and then escape into my head in order to feel like I am in control but as soon as I start connecting to my body in my movements I unwind the coil I have created and I get back in the flow again
I can often feel ‘where do I start?’ Or more accurately for me ‘how do it start?’ . It happens regularly at work because I’m in a new job and pretty much everything being asked of me is way out of my comfort zone so I am constantly be asked to step up. What I’m learning is that if I let myself indulge in the thoughts of ‘I’ve never done this before, I don’t know what to do’ then the feelings of overwhelm are fed and will magnify massively bringing about a whole way of being, moving etc that is confirming that I’m not able to do it. Whereas if I nip any doubts or wobble in the bud and stay present with myself, I feel my natural confidence and know I am capable of doing anything being asked of me. It’s all a choice on which thoughts I choose to run with and how to move my body.
Observation is a great antidote to reactions that can elbow their way in and send us into overwhelm. Even after the event we can make the space to recognise what’s gone on, and understand it from that distance and know where to start to address it.
Accepting abuse is devastating and for me it feeds this feeling of ‘there is something wrong with me’ which then feeds self bashing and lack of self care. When we say no to abuse the level of care we naturally feel to take of ourselves completely changes.
It feels to me there is no better place to start than with our-self and for me, with my body.
Very simply shared but a great impact. We start with us, looking after our selves and giving ourselves that respect and saying no to any abuse. This then is a true reflection to others.
Thanks, Vicky. I was doing some research last night about the prolificacy of child pornography in the world. In the past I would immediately have gone into overwhelm closely followed by a desire to bury my head in the sand, however this time it made me feel a greater responsibility in the way that I choose to live, knowing how powerful it can be when I reflect the divine love we are all made of.
It is so true Vicky that when we start to care for ourselves in small ways, it has a surprisingly big knock on effect. I started to notice how my thoughts could often be self destructive so decided to not allow the negative chatter. It changed my whole feeling when I was kinder to myself.
It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating? This here is a great reminder, something to print out and stick on my fridge!
The where (do we start) delays the when: The start is always NOW.
I like that Alex- simple and to the point. It’s something I’m learning a huge amount about at the moment – if I’m thinking that I’ll put something off or that I’m resisting doing it, I’ll do it straight away. This is work in progress so I can’t honestly say I do this every time, but each time I do supports me to do it the next time and the next and the next…. This builds the confidence and trust within me, and each time brings more space and clarity into my body.
Brilliant. And when we start, the where will immediately be revealed.
Love this Alex, we are always starting in this cyclical life of ours. We cannot define a start point on a circle therefore we are alway starting.
Right on Alex!!
“Where do we start? We start with us.” If everyone were to take this on whenever faced with a problem of not knowing where to begin, it could literally change the way life was approached in general and therefore the outcomes of so many situations. Self responsibility changes our focus and brings it back to the fundamental things in life which then has a knock on effect in everything that we do.
Vicky thank you for not holding back such an important insight you have made about overwhelm . . . “When I pulled myself out of being in the overwhelm and observed instead I did not feel helpless, I did not go into sympathy” That means to feel empowered instead of feeling being a victim or powerless. How wonderful is that!
This is a super confirming article that so shows everything we each do adds up to the whole of what humanity experiences on earth. I also know that all I have control over is myself and the depth of awareness I am willing to allow myself to feel and see things. What has been written in this blog clearly shows it’s my responsibility to oversee the quality I allow to be expressed through me because of what I am experiencing at any time and that it is the same for everyone else on earth as well.
‘It starts with us’ is a great way to approach life – it stops us complaining about everything and everybody else and invites us to look deeper inside. For me starting with my posture, and looking at how my body is feeling, am I being gentle, am I touching things tenderly? How is my breathing? External thoughts make me go hard, gentle breathing reminds me to be precious, delicate, and to feel the innate stillness I so often forget.
I notice also Carmel how a simple adjustment in my posture can make such a big difference in how I feel. For example when sitting driving ( it is so easy to go into my thoughts) I will straighten my spine, my chest feels more open, I feel my hands on the steering wheel and how they are placed there, I can feel my legs, and I feel more present, all it took was a second.
Often when it comes to doing something we have delayed, we can be in that feeling of dragging and the longer we let it go the harder it is to get started on it. However, when you finally complete it – there is that great feeling of lightness that comes. My lesson – to do it when the impulse is there, not let it be a drain.
Your right Vicky simple message – to stop the abuse on a macrocosmic level we say NO on a personal level in how we live and interact with life.
‘…or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?’ Such a great, albeit uncomfortable but essential question. Uncomfortable because we do know that any level of abuse – no matter how small we want to make it to try and pretend, that each bit of abuse contributes to the abuse we see around us so in fact there is no such thing as acceptable levels of abuse.
Vicky, I completely agree and I would add that it is very important to discern the intent behind petitions.
It’s interesting how we can create a bigger issue in our minds than is present in reality – perhaps we actually identify with this and as much as we may complain about it we are also getting something from it.
The answers to the problem of the world rest with us and have to come from us, from the way we live, think, speak and act. Everything else is a solution that gets superimposed onto the problem and does not address the root cause of why something is happening that we abhor. Solutions normalise a problem.
We can and will turn this ship around, that is guaranteed, the only thing that is not guaranteed is when. The when Is dependant on how bad we’re prepared to let things get before we’ve got the balls to admit that it is us that has created the catastrophic mess that we currently call life. Then and only then will we be able to take the responsibility that’s needed for real change to occur as opposed to the snippets of fruitless change that we try to apply through petitions and charities.
It can be overwhelming to feel how untidy our homes can become, with mountains of washing that need to be cleaned but I find that if I start with one small area without focusing on the whole it’s amazing what unfolds
We start with us and never stop.
It’s true, when we actually give our selves a moment to stop, connect to our body and assess situations that seem enormous, we begin to know that feeling overwhelmed is a choice, not a given. When we steadily apply our selves, we find that we can achieve a lot more than initially anticipated and we have not wasted time getting all worked up about it.
Yes so true Rowena … what may start off seemly huge and overwhelming, if we just give ourselves a moment to come back to our body to stop, connect, even if it is something as simple and practical that brings a feeling of order into the body, such as as putting the washing-up away, or making our bed, this starts movement and traction towards attending to the seemingly bigger issue or job. Key is bringing yourself back to your body.
Brilliantly shared Vicky. It does begin with us. We all too often are not willing to consider that the current state of our world is a result of what we are choosing to live, ‘we’ as in each and every one of us. When we look at the world with eyes open we can see that there is a great deal that needs to change in order for us to live in a truly respectful, honouring, and harmonious way. The point is that world will not change until we ourselves embrace living this way first, through which we realise there is great power we each and all hold when we choose to claim, express, stand up for and live with love.
We learn to look outside for answers and help and then live by it thinking the world has to change first before we can change, all the while forgetting that we, every single one of us, make up the world we live in. So the very simple answer is indeed “We start with us.” It is a very simple equation and the outcome is enormous.
When we understand it as being a case of valuing ourselves and each other for who we truly are, we have the biggest world issues and the most trivial arguments, tackled in one simple sweep.
It is amazing how different the world looks when we make a stop and just observe, instead of instantly going into reaction to whatever it is that plays out around us.
Agreed, it looks and feels completely different, we don’t feel absorbed by the situations – there is a space betweeen what is playing out and ourselves.
Valueing ourselves for who we are first and not what we do.. now thats a show stopper.
Saying no to abuse begins within ourselves being willing to not accept anything less than absolute respect, decency, love and care.
I totatally agree the moment we accept less than the love that we are, we are syaing yes to abuse and slowly even subtly at times deeper levlels and more obvious forms of abuse slip and creep in. But when we use love as our marker and foundation then anything less stands out like a sore thumb and can be clearly seen for what it is.
And when we do this we start to see areas of abuse which we had not been willing to see before.
Sometimes with a long to do list, the question gets posed in my head – ‘where do I start?’, and then I decide to take a ‘look’ at social media (which can turn into a lot longer than a few minutes) and delay doing anything on the list. This delay, however, comes from the question – ‘where do I start?’, because the easiest way to answer that is to get stuck in.
Exactly. As soon as we ask that question, then we are opening ourselves up for delay.
So often I have heard people proclaim that the issues in the world are to be fixed by the government and that it’s their responsibility but guess what… we vote the government in in the first place so if the change that is needed is a change we all don’t want to make there is no way the government that would offer that true change would ever get voted in.
The place to start is Purpose.
I love the simplicity and truth of this Vicky – We start with ourselves first and re-build a strong and solid foundation to take with us wherever we are.
Super simple and super powerful, we start with ourselves one small step at a time.
So true Vicky – that change starts with us. Yes one can look at the state of the world and think it is all too much, but take out the people and there are no issues. So if it all starts with people, and people are a sum of individuals, then it makes absolute sense to start with us, what we accept and reflect.
Yes, it is all about the people. The issues are with people but they are very sensitive to role models and that is a great start.
Take out the people and there are no issues, a momentary pause on this HM & I can feel the depth of humanities arrogance.
Where do we start? I just saw a post on Facebook that had some military man saying, “it starts by making your bed in the morning” because if you get the little things right then all else follows.
I agree Kev except there are no little things!
I agree, if we commit to doing something consistently we naturally build on this without an effort at all.
Totally! The little things are as much a part of the big things as the big things themselves- so actually they aren’t that little!
Yep totally true and well noted .. the little things have an impact on everything! So I guess that means give the same importance to all we do in life no matter how small it may seem.
“how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life” The more we put back the emphasis of what happens in life on ourself and our choices then the greater the power of the question; “Where do I start”.
Where does the buck stop, it stops with us, so when we are fully responsible in life could it be we are full of bucks, because we do not have any expectations that we get a free ride? Therefore we are open to life and all that happens around us so we appreciate how amazing life can be when we feel how we are wholly responsible for every aspect of our lives.
Great sharing and it brings the issue back to the basics: to start with ourselves.
We can only start with being with ourselves first, to connect with our inner most as if we do forget that we get lost in the illusions of life and think that it is about the outer life we commonly have created to live in.
Indeed Nico, in the overwhelm we become consumed by ourselves, our situation, our predicament yet by choosing to consistently self care and honour ourselves we feel more connected to everyone as a whole.
‘For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others.’ The magnitude of what we have allowed in society through lack of self-love and lack of self-worth is a bit of an eye opener if we were to stop and really ponder on it. The trouble is most of us are not really open to going there, preferring instead to stay blind to it. However, the more of us who do have the courage to go there effects so much change simply by offering the reflection that there is a different way, allowing others to actually feel and see where they are at so that they become aware and can begin to make different choices.
Great point Michelle, the ramifications are indeed HUGE – seems we have an investment in the mess we have created and constantly recreate in our societies and selves or we would not perpetuate it.
Loving the simplicity being offered here, choosing to come back to the body, allowing our breath to impulse our next movement. The truth is always simple … we’re the ones allowing in any complication.
The thing about overwhelm, when we’re allowing our mind to ‘make the task so much bigger than it truly is’… is we’re creating a place for us to hide away and do nothing. Connecting with the purpose of doing something is a great place to start. Letting go of any expectations and feeling into what is there to express or what may be needed – something that we are all very well equipped to do, despite what we may think.
“So, where do we start? We start with us” – yes, and the breath we are breathing to give us the breath of the life we live ensuring its total quality is gentleness.
It is quite a quick turn-around from disempowerment to empowerment when we take the step to start… by bringing our focus back with ourselves first, coming back to our body, breath, choices, self care, self love, relationships… responsibility… and then to keep re-turning back to the body, breath, food, emotions-reactions, … to keep coming back is actually the most important step, and then you are on your way… Homeward bound.
When considering world events, the phrase ‘start with our own backyard’ comes to mind, and it really is about that… starting with how we are in the world, what do we allow and or accept as normal that is really abuse; how do we live with ourselves and how does that then reflect in our life, in our world around us?
When we start with making change happen in our own lives, others feel that and are inspired to also make change – or not. We can’t force another to change but being inspired by others is certainly motivational and well worth it.
Indeed when we get caught in the trap of wanting to fix things there is so much to do. There are so many reflections around us about the ills caused by our spirit’s obsession with individuality and trying to deal with each of them will be overwhelming, so most of us end up burying our head in the sand or numbing and distracting ourselves.
What a great example and insight offered here. Giving ourselves the space allows us to observe and feel that the way we hold and relate to ourselves, life and people is far more affective at turning round the lovelessness that is the foundation of all the ills we want to fix.
Thank you Vicky for simplifying this for us. When I go into overwhelm I also remember I am one of many, so starting with me is all I can do in this moment, and through our living example humanity will change one by one.
I love that it is so simple, ‘Where do we start?’ We start with us, this make so much sense because we cannot change the world without first changing how we are with ourselves.
Our responsibility starts with us looking at the choices we make and the energy that we are in as this is how we contribute to the world, it starts with us choosing love in each moment.
Life is love but we keep making unloving choices. Once we begin to consistently make loving choices then we get absorbed back into the body of life. We become love within love.
The more we put energy first before any job or task the sooner we will see the change we are all ‘hoping’ for or ‘praying’ for, all that looking outside is utterly pointless.
Sometimes we go round in circles and seek a way out, then something is presented, and its sheer simplicity and truth offers a way. Thank you Vanessa.
Great point Vanessa and for me this also brings into account quality and not quantity! Working with young people our service continually has to give figures of how many young people we have seen instead of the type or quality of work we are doing with them which I would say is far more important.
It’s connecting to the purpose which helps me get over the wanting to delay or get distracted. Once I start I find it easy to complete something.
This is so true what you have shared Elizabeth in that everything that is around us we have played a part in creating. While many … billions of us do not want to feel this, it is time we definitely started to take responsibility for it no matter how uncomfortable it is or feels.
Yes Vicky, when we take responsibility and start living and expressing the love we innately are abuse of ourselves and those around us ceases.
This question – and answer – feels so relevant today given the events taking place in the world. Don’t meet violence with violence, just be the love that we (and all of us) are.
it is so simple isn’t it… Just starting with the next step, and the next breath.
Where do I start? I start with my own breath.
Overwhelm really is a form of self abuse. Sometimes there may be deadlines but the way and quality we execute them in is always something we hold the key to.
‘Where do I start’ – Starting with ourselves is the only thing that truly makes sense.
“What I noticed was, when I gave myself space to feel into this a bit more (pulled myself out of being in the overwhelm and observed instead) I did not feel helpless, I did not go into sympathy. Instead I knew the answer. It starts with us.” I love how you’ve presented this truth Vicky, giving yourself more space to feel into it and observing instead of absorbing. This is an empowering example of how it’s done.
Such big issues in the world can seem too big to tackle, I like what you share about starting with yourself. Surely the most practical way to begin anything.
I find my thoughts often make things more complicated than it actually is and it feels like an excuse to delay taking responsibility and action towards clearing and doing what is needed.
There are so many ways we can begin, and looking at how we are with ourselves is one – if we are feeling exhausted and craving sugar, for example, we can look at what activities or what thoughts we are engaged with that deplete our energy. It can be insidious and so subtle we don’t even realise it is there until we stop and take stock.
The problem of where to start for many, keeps them immobilised for lifetimes but far from being a vegetated state, immobilisation takes considerable and constant effort, for it requires constant application to resist the natural pull to evolve.
Yes, Vicky, we can be living the future now, by being responsible for the quality of energy we think, speak and move in. The power to change the world is absolutely in our hands and our hearts.
‘What I noticed was, when I gave myself space to feel into this a bit more (pulled myself out of being in the overwhelm and observed instead) …’ I have noticed the significant difference in allowing space for things rather than time. Working in time, as anything other than a measure of cycles feels limiting and a pressure. Allowing space feels expansive and offers more and more potential.
Vicky this is a great topic, there is indeed such s huge amount of abuse in this world, some of it utterly barbaric, and it can feel overwhelming to view it. In a world of free will it’s truly only ourselves we can change, yet within that there is a lot of scope to inspire others to do the same. A person living connected to love is a powerful reflection to others, especially when abuse is the standard we have all currently accepted.
Where do I start? Connection!
Conscious connection to a source and quality that guarantees the quality of any outcome of all actions to be loving, empowering, evolving, uniting, …
I recently watched a documentary on white supremacy in America and the attack last week in Charlottesville as a result of protesting/campaigning gone violent, and it’s very easy to watch something like this which depicts shocking examples of racism, hate speech, abuse, fighting and other violence and feel disempowered to do anything about it. I don’t live anywhere near the incident, nor in the US, however every day we meet tens if not hundreds of people and have the potential to enormously care for them, be respectful and considerate or feed the same cess pit of abuse through being cold, protected, rude and so forth.
How powerful we are and what an amazing reflection we offer when we choose a life with self love as our foundation.
“It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life even on the smallest scale, which could be something as simple as overeating?” thats such a great point, the fact is if we don’t take deep care of ourselves first we will not be able to take care of and love another, in addition without that care we are always fighting life and can easily get overwhelmed. I love the fact that the more we build love the less we are lost with what to do.
There is so much corruption, abuse and conflict in the world. If we look at it all and we truly care it really is difficult to know where to start. But we can’t be responsible for all of it, and we can’t change the world in a day or a month or a year. What we can be responsible for is our own little corner of the world. By taking responsibility for how we live we have an effect on those around us. This is where we can start.
I shudder to think how much time I have wasted thinking how how to start something and then taking ages to do it only to find once I have started it it was not such a big task as I 1st thought! The more I just do what is there to be done the simpler my day becomes. I also find I do not have the drag or thoughts of I should have done that as it’s already been done! What is great is then it allows space for something else.
Why do we spend so much time sitting on the fence? Do we think that by delaying our commitment lessens our responsibilities? Or, have we become content being the goldfish in the bowl going around and around with never going anywhere?
Sometimes the ‘Where do I start?’ can be answered by sharing how you’re feeling with another or asking for support.
It is great that you shared about the feeling of overwhelm when seeing where the world is at at the moment, probably many would feel the same as you and I can relate myself. It is great how it indeed always starts with ourselves as how we are living is a reflection for all other to receive.
Recently I have felt how going into overwhelm is a choice and that it feels no different to other emotions like anger or sadness. I know now that we can either choose to connect to our inner joy or pull these emotions over us to hide from the world. It all comes down to deciding what we want, a pure simple life where we steadily deal with our problems with a joyful purpose or a life of emotional complication to give our selves a fake sense of importance.
We start with the simplest step possible – the first one that we are taking in the next moment. If we stay with that approach we can’t help but create ripples that can be felt wider, and who knows where what the impact of that will be. Much like a butterfly fluttering its wings – it could be causing a seismic shift somewhere else in the world.
It certainly does just start with us, anything we do, say,or think gives permission for another to do the same, to either step up or do something not so evolutionary.
Sometimes things can seem difficult and out of hand. But what I have realised recently is that it’s not the complicated lists of ‘to does’ or piles of junk that really effect me, but the energy that caused them to be. What I crave more than anything in my life is space and simplicity, in vibration. And as you lovingly show Vicky we can always choose to access this, no matter where we are or where we go.
Although posed as something to explore, you spell this out in no uncertain terms and with pure simplicity that cuts through all the games of the obviously horrific and insidiously hidden outplays of abuse.. – we must start from the beginning; “love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others.”
“For if we (every single person in the world) love ourselves so deeply, saying no to abuse, not tolerating abuse, valuing and respecting not only ourselves but every other person, then we would have zero abuse – no wars, no corruption, no lies, no greed, no harm to another or others” – The quality we hold for ourselves is the quality we embrace with. Let that be love.
Loved reading this Vicky, as the responsibility always comes back into our own hands, what we are adding to the world. Changing abuse can only start within ourselves first.
Spot on Vicky we can always ever only start with ourselves. Once we clear the way to truly read what is going on around us we gain an understanding and an appreciation of what life is continually offering in order for us all to evolve.
‘So, where do we start?’ … with us knowing that every single choice we make matters, the quality of our movements, whether we walk with an open body or our shoulders curved in to ‘protect’ us, …. it all has an effect on us and everyone around us – moment to moment, we are all contributing to life, this is where we can make a very positive difference and feel a settlement from knowing we are doing something to help address the horrendous abuse going on in our world, through our expression of love in our livingness.
The ‘Pause’ feels especially important here. Humanity are so caught up in distractions, being busy and doing which puts a stop to feeling the truth and their body. If we are able to pause in the moment, what is true and where to start becomes clear very quickly.
Sometimes in life when we feel this out of control or over our heads feeling, not knowing what to do next and which step to take, this is the time when we have to let go and surrender and from there feel what is needed
I can ask myself, ‘What if no task is ever greater than who I am?!’ Appreciation of who I am and the divinity I can connect with will lead the way through what may seem like complication and obstacles.
Overwhelm can be such an easy pattern to turn to and doesn’t make any changes at all, so it is really comforting to stay there. Choosing to make some space feels completely different, allows a release from the shackles of overwhelm, and a way forwards is shown.
The world has sold us that changing the world starts with putting a lot of energy into things that we want to be different. But it didn’t tell us that we are to do it with ourselves, otherwise nothing really changes. Being with myself is changing everything. I’m becoming more and more aware how people respond / react differently to me if I’m connected to me or not. Changing the world indeed starts with ourselves.
The issue tends to be that we make the task way bigger then it is and when we do it and it is so much easier then we imagined it becomes so obvious that the complications only come through our thoughts, not in actuality.
The question itself already exposes the way of thinking that has taken us away from knowing that it is always in our responsibility and power to instigate change – we are held in a consciousness of disempowerment that looks outside without first knowing the inside.
I can look back in the past at the many times I found myself feeling overwhelmed for what was going around me and can see it was more of a resistance to my own evolution. As the moment there was understanding of why the world is the way it is I was able to see the level of abuse that I was allowing in my own life and therefore contributing to that same thing I was reacting to! Thanks to Universal Medicine, I have been able to live with responsibility and to not accept anything less than love in my life and so do my part in changing the world.
Choosing any one thing, giving it my full attention, and working on it to completion, or as close as possible and then starting the next has been a key to beginning to come to terms with my own feeling of overwhelm recently.
Yes … I agree if we do not complete things and have many uncompleted things in our lives its a way we can must certainly go into overwhelm. So completion is a key .. and something I still really need to learn and put more practice into with my life.
We cannot sit back and wait for someone else to change the world. We are only one but we are one and what we can do we should do. It starts with choosing not to contribute to the stench, to the corruption, to the abuse on any level. That starts with a level of honesty about how we are living in our lives because if we lower the bar and let things slip then we lower what we call abuse outside our lives and so it goes on till we have the world we have and feel helpless in it. Self-care is a step in the right direction, to build a body that can commit to being engaged with the world without feeling the debilitating overwhelm that squashes our magic.
‘We are only one…’ – but one in One-ness has true power, so we should never underestimate ourselves and our choices.
I love the simplicity of this Jane. I have indeed noticed that when I do start with myself I can still get the ‘where do I start’ and often start jumping around form one thing to another, which invariably leads to a feeling of disempowerment and anxiousness. Committing to start somewhere as you suggest, brings a feeling of being settled instead. This is great because I notice ultimately it is not even about what I am starting with, but the quality with which I am aligning while I carry out that activity.
I had a similar moment recently where I realised if I stopped swearing that would have an impact on the world around me and they slowly but surely the more of us that live with integrity the more the tide of change is possible.
To look after ourselves with love and deep care will affect not only the relationship with ourselves but our relation to everyone else and the world around us equally.
Whilst we may think that not abusong ourselves is a very minor thing to saving the planet, it most certainly is not when you consider that the world would be a very very different place is no one abused themselves.
Abuse starts at home with the absence of self-love. Self-love is not arrogance but a truly loving attitude to oneself and a reconnection to the source of love within us all. Let’s not accept one more day of abuse. Let us all accept responsibility for being the love that we are and make the only true change that is necessary in our world – choosing to be love in all we do.
Indeed Richard, and I know that it works as I see it in many people who choose to let more love into their lives and make life about love first and in my own life too. Only from there we can build a better world in which the atrocities we all experience in our everydays life one day will disappear.
Self care is an essential minimum, a stepping stone to self love but so many are living without even the most basic amount of self care.
When we are in overwhelm we have already escaped into our heads in order to feel like we are in control but as soon as we start moving, connecting to our body, we can gradually unwind the coil we have created and allow ourselves to be in the flow again.
Thanks, Vicky – this is great to read. It does all start with us and with the quality we bring to things. And the fact that it is possible to do one thing at a time and not go into overwhelm because our focus becomes on quality, not quantity.
The world around us is made manifest from the world within us, it really is as simple as that and so Vicky you are absolutely right in saying that true change in the state of the world starts with us.
Babies don’t worry about where to start. They just start. And if they fall over, they start again.
This is so true Otto, as adults we tend to be afraid to start again when we fall because we hold onto the hurt we felt instead of letting it go.
I was reading one of Serge’s brilliant books this morning. “Admitting being wrong is not a bad thing to do if it means humanity wins as a result.” By holding onto our hurts, indulging self, allowing pride to stop us from being transparent, refusing to learn…we are hurting all of humanity. So, let’s follow the babies – and get back up and have another go.
Perfect sense indeed. Which then begs the question, why is it that so few of us are prepared to live this way – instead choosing to shroud our irresponsibility in comfort, blame and reaction. One day we will all have to face the massive ouch that all along, despite all the effort to apportion the blame, problem, solution onto someone else, the answers and way forward always have been inside us and known, in full, to us. Everything else is a dance of delay of our evolution.
Not just a great place to start…but the only place to start.
Overwhelm is a good sign of control – that one is trying to control life, it’s events and manage what is happening by themselves. The antidote… surrendering to the order and flow of life by being with the body and not living life from time in the mind.
Your comments about abuse ring true Vicky. If we’ve made abuse ‘normal’ within ourselves and our lives – and let’s face it, we all have one way or the other, it makes sense that we will be unable to eradicate it elsewhere.
I find I bump into overwhelm when I allow delay – when there is something for me to do, but instead of doing it in the moment, I put it off and the longer I leave it, the task becomes bigger and more onerous, so much so that it feels exhausting just thinking about it. Maybe part of the overwhelm is the knowing that had I done it when I first felt to, I would have completed it with ease, putting it off comes with a price, it almost always takes longer and seems much harder to complete.
Whether we choose to be aware or not, we are continuously contributing to the pool of energy that we are all living in, either with love or with harm. Therefore, we are immediately making a difference just by being aware of this fact and thereafter by choosing to make our contributions lovingly, to the best of our ability.
Goodness, I know this one well! I have felt it many times in my life, but the more I bring my focus back to my body and deal with the immediate things in front of me, step by step the bigger things in life get done as well. I used to do alot of gardening, and sometimes I would have to clear an area that was so overgrown, initially it was hard to see that I was getting anywhere. But cutting back the overgrowth bit by bit, and then clearing the weeds, eventually I got to see the ground in front of me as I cleared the way ahead.
It is so empowering to know that to bring the much needed change in our world begins with us, starting with ourselves, and just how powerful this is.
Thanks for these super simple and practical tips Jane ✨
I know the feeling of seeing horrific things going on in the world and wanting so desperately to un-see them but knowing that I can’t, and at the same time feeling helpless. Like you and many of the comments have said Vicky, we have to start with ourselves first – makes perfect sense.
Yes, Jane, once we have purpose and make a start, we connect to a flow that feels amazing.
Yes, we need to be precise about revealing the abuse we accept in our lives, even as you say Vicky, with how we eat, move and speak to one another. This can then bring change to the whole world, one choice at a time, as we re-learn how to make love first and foremost in our lives.
So true that it starts with us and not accepting abuse including from ourselves – that gives us plenty to be getting on with and in our journey with it we are then reflecting this to others and so the ripples spread.
Thank you Vicky, this is beautiful to read and such a great reminder to not get overwhelmed but to simply look at our own lives and change what needs to be changed.
Yes Elizabeth simple steps in changing our choices lead to great changes.
It was so easy for me to go into overwhelm with work, with life and with the state of the world by using it as an excuse to make things complicated. Often my mind makes things out to be bigger and more complicated than it is. When I choose overwhelm it feels awful. When I choose to just start and work my way through whatever I get overwhelmed with and choose to work through things consistently, gently and lovingly, I feel lighter and therefore, I get to see how simple and joyful life really is.
‘Where do I start?’ This is a great question to ask. In my experience when I go into overwhelm or reaction then I know I am not appreciating myself in full for what I bring just by being me.
True, we cannot deny our role in bringing harmony back to our own bodies.
Yes, Michelle, we underestimate the ripple effect of being connected to the divine power we all have within. Our lives are full of miracles and wonder when we embrace this innate authority.
Vicky so often that can be the case, “Where do I start” on just about anything, normally things that I’ve put off or things that I think I should know the answer to but have not done before. As others have shared there may be different reasons for that, what I love to appreciate today is the ability to follow through with what I feel, so if there is a feeling that a de-clutter is needed and I respond it can happen really quickly and simply. At the same time I have to ask if I want to avoid doing something then why is that?
Understanding overwhelm as the result of procrastination, of the accumulation of not doing things that are there to be done, when they are there to be done, has been very helpful for me in addressing where to start sometimes. Often I have to clear some backlog before I can see my way forward with whatever it is that’s ‘next’…. so that is where I start.
Its a good point Jenny – overwhelm is so often a result of the fact we did not do something at a particular time, and so have banked it up. It niggles away in the back of our head reminding us that its not only what we have to do in this moment, but equally the things we ignored along the way.
Exactly Simon… that buildup is the killer. Just nominating when this has happened also starts to lessen the overwhelming feelings and clear a way for where to start.
It starts with us and when we shine magic happens. It may not be visible to the naked eye but things start to change.
‘It starts with us’ – so simple. We are responsible for the life we live and just by committing to making the quality we hold about love first, we make a difference in the world. If everyone did this there would be ‘no abuse’ in the world as you have shared Vicky.
Indeed it all ‘starts with us’ and the quality we choose to breathe and move with. The rest is then taken care of by our choice of connection coming from a place of place and not trying to get anywhere, be anything or anything else just by simply being all the love that we are.
Vicky, this is a great reminder, I have tried to change things outside of me and this is exhausting. What we can change is how we are; ‘It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life’.
powerfull and so tender as you are Vicky 🙂
There is a Chinese saying that ‘the longest journey starts with the first step’. In view of the immensity of abuse and disregard in our world today, the first step is saying ‘No’ to abuse lies in halting the abusive way we treat ourselves. If every single human being took it upon them selves to do this, there would simply be no foundation for abuse to exist anywhere in our societies.
When we do not know where to start could it be that we are lacking purpose?
Yes, Jonathan. I find lacking purpose a real killer in ‘making a start stakes’! In a giving-up-ness I put things off, procrastinate and generally delay with distraction. When the purpose is there so is the feeling of wanting to get on with it!
The war outside is simply a reflection of the war inside and all wars are the result of our choices through the centuries, choosing to allow abuse. Now we are choosing a different way, standing up for what we know is Truth – when we no longer abuse ourselves from the inside out, then we can be role models for everyone.
Yes I agree Jane, to live love and truth more consistently offers a powerful reflection for others to be inspired by.
When we react to the world this just adds more to the mess that’s already there, it is more simple and easy when we can begin to observe life and be more accepting. Being more responsible is key with this and allows us to support a shift or a true change (eventually) rather than cementing what we don’t like by reacting to life and others.
I love this blog for many reasons, but just one of them is that it makes such a great point in so few words. It is that simple; if we could all just learn to truly love ourselves everything else would just fall into place.
Starting with our own movements and self care allows us to feel and observe life and not get bogged down by overwhelm because we have the space to feel what the next move will be. A great piece of writing thank you Vicky.
“Where do I Start?” – at the breath, and the quality of the breath focusing on its gentle quality.. to be gentle in thought, decision and action.
It’s understandable that we react to the horror we see in the world but reaction leads us to leads us to more abuse. Responsibility is the true antidote to abuse.
Often when people ask me why I study politics, they express a feeling of being dissatisfied with the way the world is and yet they feel powerless, given up to change anything and yet as you share, it starts with each of us.
Hallelujah I love a blog that is precise and to the point! Yup it is all down to us and it is that simple and that effective. So many people globally feel like you describe, totally overwhelmed. Politics and wars are at an all time low and that is saying something, considering our history and with the advent of the internet and social media we are negotiating a way of living that has never been more disconnected and distracted.
“How on earth do we stop or change the abuse that is happening in the world?” Could it be with how we connect to the Universe or Constellations so that we can read each situation for what it actually is doing so in reading it we disperse the illusion it comes with? So therefore if true it is our directness, or ability to shut down abuse and at the same time to not be suppressed, then we are exposing lies with truth are we not! Does this need to be said or can this be an internal dialogue, read each situation and the answer is there.
I agree Vicky, when we stop, breath gently and look again at what is going on around us and within all is manageable as you say! It starts with one.
Aah overwhelm, I know you well.
The simple truth of what you present Vicky puts paid to the many charities and voluntary groups that exist to try and ‘fix’ the world, creating endless, resource-consuming organisations that actually do nothing to arrest the ill-momentums we collectively live in.
Vicky you have beautifully taken out the complication we put in front of change. We can make every problem far bigger than the simplicity it truly is, all in an attempt to avoid the responsibility that change begins within.
The world is where it’s at because we don’t see how we contribute to the mess by our individual lives. I’ve also felt overwhelm after listening to news of the next horrible hate crime and think ‘where do we start?’ What you’ve shared Vicky keeps it simple, we are all powerful in making changes by how we live, our reflections and our movements on this planet.
I can feel it is in how I choose to be with myself and also the things that occur in my life. Do I call to account the abuses I see around me or do I stay comfortable so that I am not targeted. Do I bring all of my love to everything I do or do I hold back so that I am not hurt etc.
I was faced with the big picture at work today and it felt daunting. In that moment I had a choice to sink into overwhelm or stay steady and present with myself. The result was that although I know there is a whole load of work that needs to be done, it doesn’t all have to be done right now so if I simply stay with whatever needs my attention in each moment it will all get done.
Lucy, I have days like that too there’s so much to get done where to start? And by staying steady with my self and just focusing on one thing at a time, a lot can be accomplished. If I try to give my attention to a little bit of each problem then it becomes a complete mess as things get left out of the equation.
Great reminder, to start with ourselves and take each step after another.
That’s a great place to start.
Absolutely we can waste so much time while wondering where to start – I agree it does matter where we start we just need to begin.
I love it – and just what I needed today, thank you so much. Simplicity, and starting with myself
Our choices are the only thing we can change in life so it makes perfect sense to focus on these. We cannot overstate how massive an impact we will have on the world by doing this.
It is so easy to go into overwhelm, victimhood, giving up, blame, rebellion etc etc as it means I am not going to change anything but further contribute to the status quo while being completely identified by the chosen role. To even make the tiniest changes in my own conduct and everyday life is the way to start.
I love how the answers to our greatest problems are always the simplest ones.
We can so easily go into overwhelm when we think about how much there is to be done. But life a joy when it is filled with purpose from our livingness, and our activity only inspires the space for so much more. The quality of our Livingness is all we need to attend to . . . .the rest simply follows.
All tasks consist of a multitude of steps, changing the way the world is, is no different, it’s just there are an infinite number of steps that each of us must re-tread and re-tread we shall until every last one of us is back at the beginning again. Let’s hope it makes us think twice before we venture so far from Home again. What an absolute debacle!
This really does feel like making a stand within ourselves first and foremost.
Building more true love in how we are with ourself and in all our relationships makes a difference to everyone.
Overwhelm is self-perpetuating… we go into overwhelm, delay whatever needs to be attended to, and then more overwhelm as even more has accumulated while we delay! Life has so much joy, ease and flow when we do what needs to be done in each moment, everything completes and there is clear space to move on.
Starting with the micro i.e. us makes anything possible… it all comes back to our choices in every moment – abuse or no abuse.
Indeed, it starts with us – I find that what is happening outside is often a reflection of what is happening inside and when I start to work on my own stuff things settle more outside.
Its a great topic Vicky, and one I have heard so many people struggle with. Because we are at heart filled with goodness, it stands to reason we struggle with the cruelty that is unnatural to us all. But I am learning that the only true response is when emotion is set aside, and when love and understanding is foremost. The world is a bit crazy right now, but within us all is a deep well of love which we mustn’t keep hidden, to provide a response and a counter to all we know is not love.
Choosing to stay in overwhelm doesn’t support us in any way. I realise when I trust and listen to my body the overwhelm has no grip or hold, it dissipates quickly and I find I am capable of a lot more than my mind allows me to think.
Brilliantly said Vicky – the answer to every issue starts and ends with us and the choices we make.
This is so real and true Vicky, overwhelm is not needed, and does not serve us. Simply start with ourselves and the next step is shown to us.
I so know that feeling of going to do something new and not quite knowing where to start and how easily I can go into overwhelm if I let my self. When I take responsibility and just get on with it, it is always is a lot easier then what I had conjured up in my mind.
Yes! I too have that thought, and what I find is that you just need to pick something, don’t dwell on how big it all is, pick one thing, and start with that. When it’s a bigger picture scenario, like the world, then starting with ourselves is a sure fire way to let the domino effect do it’s magic.
We can start in the next movement we make.
Whenever there is a sense of being stuck or in overwhelm with where to start on anything – just one small step is all that it takes. For example re-connect to yourself with the Gentle Breath and from that quality spend only 5 or 10 minutes a day of de-clutter a room, a computer or paperwork and like magic there is a change in the energy of lethargy to a natural pull to do more as the body feel slighter and more harmonious.
Beautifully succinct Vicky – our greatest salvation starts here within and in turn the science of reflection weaves its magic.
I have often looked around me at all the problems that we have in society like family violence, bullying, sexual abuse and knowing that something needs to be done, have, like you, wondered “where do I start?” – and I suspect that most of humanity does the same. And then when we take our gaze even further out into the world the problems seem to escalate exponentially and that seems even more overwhelming. But bring our gaze back inward and we have the answer; we start with ourselves and as we do the effects of our choices will begin to slowly but surely ripple out into a very damaged world.
‘We start with us.’ No better place really. As the old saying goes a 1000 mile journey starts with the first step. If we want big changes we need to make the small ones first to make this happen!
It’s so important to not react to the way the world is and think we have to fix or change it. The change in truth starts with ourselves and this is proven in the fact that for so long we have tried to change the outer and it is never truly worked.
It is indeed very simple – a way forth that requires us all to be responsible for how we are living the quality of love or not love that we put into our lives: so this includes very much how we take care our ourselves and others everyday. Living as we are in constant connection with everyone and everything around us and beyond. Becoming aware of this fact in the way we live.
What a beautiful simplicity to the world of overwhelm of the abuse suffering and devastation of where we are as humanity today and bringing it back to ourselves with the love and care in our daily moment by moment movements towards the love we innately are. The ripple effect of this is enormous and so much greater than we can ever realise.
What if the question itself, ‘where do we start?’, is part of the overwhelm and chaos of what’s happening around the world in many homes, schools, governments and countries, and that in truth we know exactly how we can bring change and live a different way. As you’ve shared Vicky, it all starts with us and we can kickstart worldwide change through our own relationships and ripples.
It’s so true. We contribute to the abuse in the world when we abuse ourselves.
Amazing blog Vicky, yes, everything always starts with us!
True Vicky and we start with what you did when you’ve felt the overwhelm, We observe without any judgement, ideals of whatsoever and just feel what is in the way to love ourselves and from there we make the changes in our lives.
We do not have to tolerate abuse of any kinds and ‘yes’ we do have to be very careful and discern when to call it out but it is the energy that needs to be exposed for what it is and never is it to be taken personally.
Very true Vicky, any change whatsoever, no matter how small or large, starts with each of us individually. Understanding that the outer we have reflects the inner is key. It is the responsibility for this that we mostly shy away from seeing and accepting.
‘We start with us’ Super simple and empowering.
I love the simplicity here for so often we can be caught in complication.
Love it Vicky, self love and care is so powerful, it has had a profound effect on my life and how I am in the world, as you say it just takes us to start with us, one step/choice at a time and so the love builds.
Vicky what I love in your sharing ““Where do we (as humanity) start?” and “How on earth do we stop or change the abuse that is happening in the world?”” is that you make it not about you and your issue but about the far bigger picture, something that if we all spoke about it together would mean we could change the world.
So true Vicky when we give ourselves space we do innately know what action to take. For me defaulting to overwhelm has often given me an excuse for not taking responsibility for what I can do in whatever the situation is rather than feeling into what is required and simply getting on with it.
We know where to start. The question is not so much the where but to pull ourselves together, say no to abuse and make sure that our movements support us walking in such direction in full awareness.
I love the simplicity of this message, and couldn’t agree more. We have to start somewhere, and starting with ourselves takes away that helpless feeling of not being able to change anything.
Just by invoking ‘where do I start’ feels like a delaying mechanism to avoid or most times delay by procrastination, something. When there is a true purpose, what needs to be done just flows without the self-doubt that our head, tries to add.
I agree Vicky. Changing the way we live on a personal level is the only place from which to begin and in doing so we start a chain reaction that over time will bring about enormous change.
Gorgeously simple, direct and to the point, just as it is to start.
So simple and true Vicky, the more we focus on and live the love we are then naturally everything else changes. We can look outside of ourselves and want/demand it to change but if we first do not change the quality we live our lives with then nothing truly changes the scenery or picture may look different but it’s the same energy repeating itself.
Self care is not selfish it is a responsibility but how often do we see it like that?
Vicky, I love your blog, so super simple. We start with steps to loving ourselves, not abusing ourselves which then reveals the abuse we have been accepting from others.
Yes, how simple is that. By not accepting abuse in our lives and by not abusing ourselves means that we have already made a difference to the level of abuse happening around the globe. The first time I found out that this was my responsibility, there was no overwhelm which is what happened in the past, but a true sense of purpose. Thanks Vicky.
We do make a difference to the bigger picture but we tend to forget this and go into overwhelm when we look at the vastness of the problems in the world today. When we clear our old and very ingrained behaviours this has an affect on everything around us in both micro and macro form. So it makes sense to start with us first, and if each and every one of us did this we would have a very different world.
Agree Esther, it is that simple. True responsibility starts with loving and caring for ourselves and has ripple effects that go way beyond ourselves.
I hear you big time Vicky, I sometimes go into complete despair over what I read or see on the news. Last night I was watching the news and some guy is going to try and sail to the North pole as the polar cap is breaking up and they were saying that at some stage ships will be able to use this as a new shipping lane cutting out miles on certain journeys and I thought don’t these people know that surely by doing this it will increase the rate of the ice melting. Don’t we need this ice? Anyway it kind of freaked me out a bit so reading this and getting on with it is a great start.
Great question Vicky, but as you say if we ask it too often we never start. Constantly looking out at how terrible the world is can distract and disempower us. Better to turn on the torch light within to see how what we see out there reflects what is going on inside ourselves.
Vicky, this really makes sense; ‘It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life, what do we value and tolerate within our life… do we or do we not accept abuse in our own life’, it feels very empowering that there is something we can do and that it starts with us, rather than the overwhelm of trying to change what is outside of us.
Humanity is in the chaos it is because of the energy that has been chosen to live with so our first step is to choose the energy with which we live.
“how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life..”? We can attribute and blame a lot on ‘lack of self-worth’ but it is only an excuse to tolerate and perpetuate a way of being that in fact absolves us of the responsibility we are here to take collectively.
Life suddenly becomes very simple when we are willing to look at it this way. By bringing the focus back to ourselves and how we are with everything we do, we start to implement real and true change within ourselves, and from here everything else can then grow and flourish.
Indeed Vicky, we have to make it very simple and practical and start with ourselves first. We can make the change in ourselves and from that, it will permeate into society, the greater world;. it is the living by example into the tiniest details that will lead the way.
For if we are not how will anyone ever know there is another way to be in life in a way that lets us be all and everything we are naturally designed to be.
Beautifully put, Vicky. A simple recipe for true societal change, which makes individual responsibility a top priority for each and every one of us.
Crisp, punchy and to the point Vicky – yes, there can be no abuse when there is love…The abusiveness of our world which we experience and endure confirms the vast lack (of [self] love).
When I have a picture of what the end product should look like, I feel uncertain about my each step, whether they would lead me to the goal I envision, and the task feels impossible to achieve, and it becomes a big deal to take that very first step, or it would never start. Through attending Universal Medicine courses and workshop, I have learnt there is a different way to approach a problem or a project other than being goal orientated. Starting from a place of connection, being very honest with where I am actually at, and taking a small, gentle first step feels much simpler, and it has let me know what I do can never be without what I am.
When we moan and groan and go into overwhelm we cannot contribute to what needs attending to; the obstacles seem forever more insurmountable and we don’t ever start. As we cannot change or expect anyone else to change, it does indeed – start with us, every single one of us.
When we choose overwhelm it stops us seeing, living and feeling our potential. It feels like a dead weight stopping us from evolving.
Totally agree, We can choose to go into overwhelm from the horrific things we see are happening worldwide, or bury our heads in the sand because we don’t think we are being personally effected, or think this is how it is and there is nothing we can do, Or we can start by beginning to make the changes in our own lives that will not allow any form of self-abuse. Imagine if we who are shocked from the state of the World instead of turning a blind eye hoping it will all just go away, feeling we can do nothing, begin by taking self-responsibility for our own lives, starting with making self-loving choices and the ripple effect that would have. As you say Vicky “So, where do we start?” Where else can we but start, but with ourselves first.
Love this Vicky, we start with us and we take care of every nook and cranny in our lives, no perfection we just keep coming back to bringing the love we are into our lived way; it’s in simple care in every little detail and taking the time and space for that care, and refining in each moment what is needed and required next. It’s backing ourselves 100%, and living truth, it’s being us.
I love starting and I love finishing things too. I love working and planning at ways to make things happen and to make a difference.
I love the simplicity and wisdom of what you have presented here Vicky. So many of us react to the state of the world and bury our heads or try to make our little patch as ‘good’ as we can. But as you say, if each of us stop accepting abuse (self-inflicted or otherwise) a ripple effect would occur. We would once again know how powerful we are when we work as one.
I agree – I feel it definitely starts with us – with the choice of how we move, how we speak, the tone of our voice, how we now choose not to react and allowing ourselves to feel the momentum of what is not love, calling it out, saying no, that is not who I am. It may well be that the change has to begin with each one of us and our choice to see that Love is who we are first and foremost.
Yes we have enormous power to instigate change when we make those changes in our own lives. It may sound simplistic yet this is how we as a collective can work together and to see the quality of life we know is possible and can be lived. We have a way to go yet every moment we do choose the quality we move in.
Messes seem hard to tackle to me, when I don’t understand where they actually start. No matter how hard I try to tidy up there just seems to be more of the same at the end of the day. So what I have come to see and you show here Vicky is that the exterior junk is just a result of a deeper, inner confusion. When I address these knots, things start to truly get better. Thank you for helping clear this up.
It is very easy to look out and be disillusioned, feeling the impact of the suffering the world has created and endured… and feel the absolutely helplessness in light of such devastation, and the overwhelm when considering what needs to be done… so l love the concept of not saving or fixing the harm or abuse in mass but rather bringing it back to ourselves and taking responsibility for the life we live and not settling for less than what we deserve as a whole. One by one this will cannot but change the world.
Vicky I know that feeling of ‘where do I start’ well and also know that the antidote is simply to start because when we allow ourselves to be put off by feeling that something is too hard then that hurdle stays in our body and we lug it around with us until the time when we are able to not only make a start but complete whatever it is that is standing in the way of us and our evolution.
Bingo Vicky! If you imagine that God is a massive tapestry and understand that God is all there is, then we are each part of that interwoven tapestry. What then we each need to do is to look after our own patch of tapestry because it’s not actually possible to look after another’s patch. So it’s incredibly liberating and powerful to understand that the ability to change Life forever is in our hands.
It is a great trick of the human spirit to look out at the mess it is (we are) partially responsible for creating in the world we have set up for ourselves, and go into overwhelm and helplessness so as to give us an excuse (delay) to not correct such ill movements. And if we don’t withdraw from it we do the seeming opposite that is to go ‘out there’ and fight it all by adopting a more activist approach which is always fed from a reaction to what we are seeing and feeling and not by a true impulse to serve. Thus, such an approach has little regard for others albeit in the guise of charity and benevolence because it is more about relieving the tension we feel within us and not truly arresting the worldly unrest, which as you so correctly state Vicky, starts by dealing with it much more closer to home, within our own bodies. By coming to a greater settlement within ourselves, by virtue of adjustments to the way we walk, talk, eat, sleep and interact with each other, we are better able to bring this settlement outwardly to the world in which we live. Too simple? Then consider that there is a part of us that thrives on complexity in order to achieve the delay outlined above.
Oh Vicky, I love this blog for so many reasons. It is such a simple story, packed with such power-full messages. Much of humanity is in this overwhelm, particularly around the ‘state of the world’, and your offering is very true and pertinent. It has to start with us.
But the real Gold for me, is that you sat with the overwhelm, gave yourself some space, observed not absorbed the situation and there was the truth, instantly waiting for you. I have been spending quite a bit of time in overwhelm recently and it feels awful, and deeply ingrained. I can feel though that I have the opportunity here to re-learn how I am with this, and your blog is very timely and inspiring, thank you.
Well said Vicky and what a great reminder, it is that simple. Every issue, challenge or problem I may come across for myself and or others inevitability always comes back to me and how I deal with it.
Often I have felt overwhelmed by the state of the world and the mass unsettlement, it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I was reminded of the fact that it is the way we live that counts and nothing we do to try and change the world will truly change it, but by living in a way that is harmonious with ourselves and others at least we are not contributing to it.
I am very familiar with that feeling of overwhelm that can come when we look at a pile of work, at all that is happening all around and then just not knowing where to begin…and yet when I am content within myself and take the pressure off myself it is as easy as anything to work through it and know this is just what is needed. I like how you have given this a more global meaning too with how the world is and how it is up to each of us to support in ‘cleaning up the mess’ so to speak. Thank you Vicky for the reminder to give myself to space to see the bigger picture so that things can flow from there!
So simple Vicky, and yet so powerful, and very practical in that this lies in the reach of us all.
Simple but true it starts with our willingness to live with integrity and responsibly for our own thoughts and actions. Looking outside to pass anything off in our lives as someone else’s responsibility adds to the pool of any form of abuse.
A great sharing Vicky – it is easy to get stuck and consequently overwhelmed if we don’t make a stop and allow ourselves to truly observe and feel what is going on, and by that release any reaction or tension related to what we are faced with.
I read a quote by a great friend of mine a while back that spoke of how overwhelm was the feeling of potential that we have been gifted and developed. This makes so much sense to me!
A very relatable blog Vicky – it is true, abuse is irresponsible, stemming from a foundation of no respect or value of self or others and overwhelm is like a habit being frozen in the flare of headlights with nowhere to go.
“So, where do we start?
We start with us”.
We are here to learn to love ourselves and love all others that we share this planet with. We all have a responsibility to do just that.
Beautiful Vicky Cooke. Pure and simple life changing stuff…humanity changing stuff…if we choose it.
This is very true, but perhaps not always so easy to admit, that the abuse we see in the world starts with you and me and how we are with ourselves first because this determines what we all are then willing to accept which creates the tapestry of our lives together as a one human race.
I have lived hiding the fact that how I choose to live has a huge impact on the world, greater than I’d ever wanted to admit. Because if I admit this I get to appreciate what responsibility we each hold. My hiding in ignorance doesn’t change this fact. The more I appreciate how I influence the world around me – both when I am allowing the love to come through without hindrance, or adding to the world’s yuck – the more i cannot deny we are all agents of change and incredibly powerful. No longer do I feel disempowered or disheartened.
I am with you 100%, we are the change we want to see in the world, to leave it to someone else steps back and says “go for it”. Overwhelm comes in as a pattern for me but I have also seen it is a great excuse to sit back and hide, which in effect, changes nothing and therefore, in some way, gives permission for those atrocities to keep going.
‘Where do we start,’ could it be we start with the ‘Gentle Breath Meditation’, which has been an absolute blessing, and that is always something we can go back to? Or is it possible to be at-least with our Gentle Breath as a focus because how we breathe is important in staying focused on the way to being self-love?
This is such an empowering answer to come to – that all we have to do is to make changes to express who we are.
We will do an amazing amount of things to simply avoid feeling what is truly going on, even create a whole life to avoid it. As the article is saying the secret if you could call it that, is to stop and simply truly feel at any point. The ‘where do start’ is always the same, you at least start. Standing back and going into a myriad of other stories is only a delay to again simply not truly feel. If this has been our way of delaying with things then we will think it’s how we are when in fact we are far from that and in fact almost at an opposite point.
Starting with us may seem like an inconsequential choice that has little impact, but where else is the start better than this? We may even be surprised by the impact this has.
We do need to ‘just start’ … and when we do the overwhelm can start to go so quickly , its like a miracle.
Yes, because we open our eyes to see just how amazing we are and what we can bring.
The simple proposition that Vicky has made here to start with self care and not accept abuse in your own life makes a lot of sense. Humanity, though, seems to resist this simplicity in favor of feel good solutions that never truly deal with the actual origins or root of the problem in order to avoid taking responsibility for creating the mess we are in world wide. This is why Universal Medicine is such a powerful modality for complementing modern medicine as it gets to the bottom of why we are behaving in the self – harming ways we do in the first place, and offers practical techniques (such as the Gentle Breath Meditation) to help bring us back to our true loving way of being.
Simplicity: Dealing with the bigger picture by taking care of the part that makes the greater whole.
So true – I have spoken to many people overwhelmed by the reality of the world and disheartened or given up at any prospect of changing it, handing it over to other people to sort out because what can we possibly do. But you are so right – society and the abuse that is rife is not something distinct and removed from us – society is the culmination of every individual and their actions, therefor if every individual commits to living with decency, respect and no tolerance of abuse, then our collective experience of life as a society will shift on its head
When we try to address everything at once, we quickly exhaust ourselves and get nowhere, except perhaps a bit more disheartened than we were at the beginning. True change starts with us, and it starts step by step, looking at one thing at a time.
“…It starts with us. It starts with how we live, how much do we care and love ourselves within our own life …” This is a great statement that puts a spanner in the wheel of any overwhelm, bringing to a stop the disempowerment of overwhelm, and a re-turn back to self responsibility.
The feeling of overwhelm when we look at a task and go “where do I begin” something we could ask in that moment is “where am I now, and what is needed here?”
Yes. Just as simple as how do I need to start from me for me?
I like that Harry because, it takes us out of thinking we have to come up with the solution, brings us back to ourselves, and then opens it up to being about more than just you.
From everything that’s going on globally, to our relationships, and to the smallest detail in our lives, I’m understanding that the only place that can offer any true change is initiated with looking towards ourselves. I can’t make another change their behaviour, but what I can do is focus on my part, and my relationship with myself. The more loving in the way I am with myself, the less I feed and perpetuate the harm that is otherwise so readily out there.
Yes, it is that simple, we simply start with us and build love and care for ourself which we then automatically have for each other.
Agree Esther, it is that simple. True responsibility starts with loving and caring for ourselves and has ripple effects that go way beyond ourselves.
Problems exist when we want things to change around us, without being willing to change within first.
I totally agree, I find as soon as I do this I end up getting not only frustrated with myself but also those around me and then blame others for the state of the world and the situation rather than taking responsibility for my part and being the love that I know and so bringing the change myself.
Yes, so true Abby, we want the world to be different and when the world is different we will start to make changes within ourselves. It makes no sense when all this does is leave us living less than we are, caught up in our own issues and struggles. Making the commitment to change within ourselves has such a huge impact on our lives which then naturally ripples out to lives of others.
Space is as simple as just allowing yourself to move just that smidgen slower so you can feel your grace while completing whatever needs to be done.
I agree Abby. I read a blog the other day about the difference felt when preparing food the person was not in a great mood and was grating apple which was flying everywhere but as soon as her friend helped her and showed her how to do it a different way being with herself they totally felt how this changed and they had changed when trying this again and loved just being with themselves. It just goes to show also the powering of stopping and changing a movement or action that is unharmonious to then make it more loving for ourselves and others .. something I am continuously learning.
…”move so you can feel your grace…” my goodness Abby, this is the future, this is living medicine for sure.
I love the simplicity that you bring here Vicky, bringing it back to how we live each day in the knowing that the ripple effect from this really does make a difference.
Simple as that Vicky, I agree. Sometimes I forget that also. It’s easier trying to change the world than changing old ingrained behaviours within yourself. When I get into that mode I try to remind myself to start with myself. How I move, how I am with myself.
And coming from our rhythm supports us to complete everything that is needed in a true way which honours us rather than us letting the pile of pressures enter our body. This just causes exhaustion.
Yes, Matts, indeed we see it a lot, people trying to change the world but when I then look to how they conduct their life I observe that it is not supported by their bodies, their inner most but instead they are driven from a concept of the mind.
Well said Nico. Many use seemingly ‘good’ projects as a distraction in order to avoid dealing with the abuse they accept in their own lives.
That is true Leonne, I do see that too, people thinking they are doing good but at the same time allow the abuse in their private lives or even within the projects they are involved in. If we do not start with looking within ourselves first we will never find the answers on all the abuse we encounter in our societies nowadays.
I get it Matts, for me when I’m trying to change the world or someone it is a distraction away from looking at how I am living, how am I contributing to what is going on and what do I need to do to support by reflection in this situation.