At War With Ourselves

“We can never deal with the problems of the world if we don’t deal with our own personal problems first.” Serge Benhayon (1)

Have you ever looked out at life and felt overwhelmed or saddened by the conflict around us? There is war on the news, conflict and unrest on the streets, conflict and tension in workplaces, and there can be tension and unsettlement in our homes and our personal relationships. And for all this conflict and tension we can get so used to it being around in every walk of life that we consider it as ‘normal’, and just the way it is. Yet deep down inside us we know that this isn’t our natural state.

I know that for conflict and tension in the workplace, I have mediated, facilitated and supported many workplace teams and employees to see whether there is potential to bring a settlement to the issues in hand. I have also done the same in relationships with others – tried to come to some agreement or resolution. But I have found it infrequent that a workplace team or home situation finds complete settlement. What I have observed in others and in myself is that unless we look at the conflict or tension within ourselves first and foremost, no matter what we do, we carry that tension into every other relationship.

But what if a way to bring change to wars and conflicts we have in the world, in our communities, workplaces or homes, starts with looking at the war within ourselves?

Let me explain.

I have recently become aware that one of the biggest wars is the war within myself. This can stem from a number of things, but it literally feels like I am fighting myself – fighting my body, and fighting something deep inside of me. I could use excuses to blame those around me, or to blame a situation, or circumstance, but when push comes to shove – in the end, it is me fighting with me.

An example of this is when some part of me wants to eat something and my whole body is screaming, “No! Not that food again!” I may stand at the fridge with this inner battle going on – there is no one else involved, only me with me. Or I may become aware of something in the way I am living my life, a habit or pattern of behaviour which in truth is not supporting me – and once I am aware of it I resist the choice to understand it in full, or I may see it for what it is and I still resist simply letting go of it.

This sets up a chain reaction… one where I feel frustrated – with myself. My jaw tenses up, I get a sharp uncomfortable pain under my right rib, and, I get hot and sweaty. And I can be that stubborn for this to go on for a little while; sometimes hours. On top of that, I get even more frustrated because I have been feeling frustrated for hours, which brings in more tension. When I am feeling like this, I know this as being at war with myself.

As I am writing this I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person on earth that can in their own way, feel at war with themselves. If this is so, isn’t this the place to start when faced with a world that has a lot of war, tension, conflict and hostility? I certainly know I can feel pretty grumpy, perhaps even hostile, when I’m having a war with myself. In my experience when I am at work, or at home with family or friends, this has a ripple effect and creeps into all my relationships, no matter how hard I try and contain it.

What I also know is that during the last 14 years since I have been attending Universal Medicine workshops with the presentations by Serge Benhayon, that there is another way, and the more I lovingly understand and deal with this conflict within myself, the more the ripple effect also affects wherever I am, in that relationships at home, in life and work, have changed. So much so that people often comment, “Whenever you are around everything feels so simple and easy, and we work well together.”

So where do we start with this war within ourselves?

One of the greatest things we have, yet we can be at war with the most, is our physical body. Yes, right under our very nose we have pure gold, something that is beyond wise, that when we allow it, has a natural rhythm. It actually knows how to respond to any and every given situation – and I mean any and every situation – whether it is choosing a food to eat, or buying a pair of shoes, or knowing when to go to bed, or whether or not that new job is true for us.

The body knows everything.

To tap into this inordinate wisdom, we need to first start to build a relationship with our body – moment by moment, day by day experimenting through daily living choices, staying focussed, paying attention to the body as we move and understanding how it communicates to us.

Part of the war with ourselves is that we can be at odds with our body and thus make daily life – and indeed all our life – harder as we fight against our natural rhythm; or we can surrender to the wisdom of the body and allow it to show us and lead the way. There is so much to learn from our body. Who needs to go to school (ha-ha) when our body is one of the greatest teachers and sources of intelligence and wisdom that we have?

‘The more you get to know about your body,
The more you get to know about life, This is called self-mastery.”
Serge Benhayon (2)

 I also have come to know through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, that the war within myself is a ‘tug-of-war’ where I am resisting the fact that I know I am grander than the boundaries of my physical flesh, as within me and within us all there is a spark of light that shines so brightly. Through connecting to this spark of light, my essence, I feel at home, and this feeling brings a settlement to my body – and at this moment there is no war, nor conflict.

So I am learning that healing the war inside of me starts by learning to live from my body, and building a consistent connection to my inner essence. And the more I am able to do this, it not only brings a settlement to my own body, it brings a settlement to the relationships I have with others and to those around me at work and in life. What if this is a way to bring about true change to all conflict and war?

By Jane Keep, London, UK

Further Reading:
At war with ourselves
Developing a Relationship – with my Essence
What are we Really in Control of?


  1. Benhayon, S. (2011). Esoteric Teachings & Revelations: A New Study for Mankind. Unimed Publishing, p.86.
  2. Benhayon, S. (2011). Esoteric Teachings & Revelations: A New Study for Mankind. Unimed Publishing, p.105.

681 thoughts on “At War With Ourselves

  1. When we let the body lead the way, it’s amazing how much simplicity and flow returns to our day to day living and that when we let tension and or the war to ignite again, we always have the opportunity to pause, honour and move in a way that will diffuse the war and return us home to the rhythm of our heavenly bodies.

  2. Reading this and being honest, I can feel a level of disbelief and mistrust in my body that I can look at by observing when I do follow what it’s communicating, how true the outcomes are.

  3. From quite a young age I was appalled by the fact of war. I first heard about war in this life when listening to a radio play on the ABC (no TV invented yet!) as a little girl, and hearing the terrible sound of air-aid sirens – when it was explained to me what it was I was so shocked that I had nightmares about bombs after that. Then later as a university student I used to participate in protests and marches in the anti-Vietnam war days – all the while not realising that I myself was part of the dynamic through not living from my divine essence.

  4. Are we not living like the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s with a feud within us that the origin is not remembered? Serge Benhayon has shown us the cause of the battle we have raging within and it is simply that person lurking in our mirror that causes all our problems!

  5. Although nature comes from the Latin natura “course of things; natural character, constitution, quality; the universe”, in Laviathan, Thomas Hobbes used the expression ‘state of nature’ to refer to a situation in which “the life of man, [can be] solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short”. Could it be that what Hobbes observed is what happens when we are at war with ourselves and say yes to everything we are not and gave to this situation a name that contradicts what he observed?

  6. I have come a long way though my next step is to express my joy with my body. I have a private relationship with joy but it is about sharing this with others through my body. The resistance I have to this is my war within.

  7. What the body says and what the mind says often contradict each other, and I so agree that by fighting our natural rhythm we are making our life harder. But when we find our life hard, we often blame the world/people around us. It takes much humility to be able to look at ourselves with absolute honesty.

  8. “What I have observed in others and in myself is that unless we look at the conflict or tension within ourselves first and foremost, no matter what we do, we carry that tension into every other relationship.” It all starts with how we are with ourselves , I can feel myself at war with myself when I come home from work tired and needing some rest, but instead of lying down for a while to refresh my body I instead go to the computer and loose myself adding to the tiredness.

  9. And how erroneous that we look outwardly and blame others when this inner conflict is taking place, when simply by dealing with the ‘resistance’ or tug within we are left with a great deal of clarity and the space to observe, other people are there to help us not bring us down.

  10. It all starts with settlement within ourselves and the more people attend to it, the fewer and less severe the outer conflicts will be.

  11. Super top blog Jane Keep and I like all the points you make about this war inside us.
    If we think about it, who are we fighting inside our mind, which then leads to all that tension inside our body.

    I was in constant battle with myself and as you say it then spills over into all our relationships and there is no getting away from this.

    These days – thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, this war business does not hang around for long in my head as I know how to deal with it. I have a strong marker of what it feels like to carry no war inside me and no tension in my body. It is a feeling of Absolute quality like nothing else I can describe. So when nonsense enters my mind and I am in that fight, I know what to do and what not to do. War has no room inside me to lodge and take up space.

    A wise friend said to me the other day in response to a question – ‘if you don’t feel that Absolute that you know and live so well, don’t do it’.
    It was a great reminder and confirmation that if I stick to that Absolute feeling that I do know very well and live most of the time, there is no space for conflict. I also know that this micro me is helping the macro big world just by making a commitment not to go at war with myself.
    It is harmful and has no purpose and that is why I do my best to stay away from internal conflict.

    1. Absolutely agree Bina. I love what you share here about absoluteness. Deep down we all know when something feels true or not – but how many of us live by that marker and allow it to guide us through our daily lives?

  12. Conflict with ourselves or with another, or with the system keeps us endlessly occupied and devitalised. We sometimes do not even realise that we are the ones causing our own demise, and therefore the demise of the whole race (hence the importance of Jeshua’s saying about doing unto others as you do for yourself, recently re-presented by Serge Benhayon for the new era). I let go, some months ago, a conflict I had been having in myself about the literature syllabus of the HSC (final year exam) and the harming consciousness it is written in. But once I took the observer’s position and understand how this came about and that there are no ‘victims’ I was able to let the conflict and criticism drop and move forward in a graceful way, while not selling out to its energy.

  13. This moved me to tears this morning. Bringing light to where I am at war with myself, and the invitation to bring more healing to this war by living more connected to my body, and my essence.

  14. I can feel this inner battle when I go into my mind to sort out my problems and then go into anxiety instead of feeling from my body and trusting its wisdom.

    1. I think we have all tried to defeat our demons with our minds but it never works, nor will ever work. After all when we look at it logically how can we think our way out of a problem which our thoughts got us into in the 1st place. The only way I have foudn that works is to look at my movements and change them, then my thoughts change and then I start to have clarity on the situation.

  15. This is such a brilliant sharing. I have certainly felt the tension within my own body – fighting the choices I have before me. And what I love about this sharing is the practicalities of honestly looking at this. To understand the relationship with the body on offer and simply listen.

  16. The simple truth that it takes more energy to resist love than to be it reveals the degree to which we are at war within ourselves. We are all love right to the deepest core of us yet for many we cannot feel this due to the enormous tension we live with on a daily basis.

  17. Rebuilding a relationship with our body really is the first port of call. It’s the thing only we are responsible for and yet for the most part we ignore it. When we acknowledge, accept and then appreciate that our body is communicating with us all the time, then only then will we feel the sometimes very subtle and sometimes very loud messages it’s sending us, dispelling the internal heady dialogue.

  18. “So I am learning that healing the war inside of me starts by learning to live from my body, and building a consistent connection to my inner essence.” It is from this exploration of one’s self that we not only begin to understand where our tensions and stress started but how we can truly heal, move forward and evolve without the inner battles and begin to feel an inner harmony that then is reflected outwardly too.

  19. When we have resolved this conflict within ourselves we can deal far more easily with all the tension and conflict going on around us. For me though this conflict within is still such a real thing, sometimes I’m winning and sometimes I am on the losing side.

  20. I have recently been experiencing not having a conflict with anyone or anything – it has been truly freeing. It does not mean that I agree with everyone or condone certain actions – it is just being able to observe, renounce and let it all go. I amazed at the consequences of this and it is well worth it.

  21. I keep coming back to the title of this blog and the opening lines – it puts everything into perspective. 1st we need to focus on ourselves and our movements, knowing that we start as the Gods that we are. Then as we walk it and live it, others around us get inspired to also be the Gods that they are too. So we do not need have any issues with anyone else, just reflect back to them that they too are a God and can choose to live it whenever they want and if not, then that’s fine, but it does not mean you have to change. It brings a whole new perspective to life starting knowing we are already everything and so do not need to go anywhere, rather return to living our Glory in full.

  22. If we all only focused on the element in us that seems to fight us, if we all just begun to unfold and unlock this eternal process, I wonder what the world would be like?
    Imagine our world leaders putting their country on a program of self-love and reflection, imagine arresting the fight within? Or at least acknowledging it? For while ever we focus on everything “out there” as being the issue, we will be lost in fixing and managing the false reality we have created.

  23. This article has been a wonderful reminder to stay open and loving in all relationships, equally so, and not get lazy and habitual on a relationship just because it is very familiar. It has been wonderful to keep awareness on any conflict that might enter, whether spoken or unspoken, and observe what is going on, reminding myself to attune to the essence and appreciate the person with whom any small thing may have arisen.

  24. Yes so often we can distract ourselves with what is going on for another or others, all to avoid deeply reflecting on what is going on within ourselves.

  25. That is so true, many of us are at war with our own bodies, polluting, overworking and over indulging in things from drugs to extreme sports, so if we can’t get this war under control there isn’t much chance of sorting out any of the other problems going on in the world.

    1. I would say that one of the challenges humanity faces is even seeing these things as not harmonious – sport, overdoing work, alcohol etc, as for many the absence of war means all is well, even though the way we fight ourselves, our natural essence and body, is actually the energy of war on ourselves.

  26. “…Yet deep down inside us we know that this isn’t our natural state….” This is a key indicator that shows us that in our essence, we are naturally harmonious … a state of being that is completely opposite to the behaviour of war and conflict. So no wonder we feel various degrees of tension as this is a form of reaction to what we see as being opposite to what we know.

  27. “…right under our very nose we have pure gold, something that is beyond wise, that when we allow it, has a natural rhythm. It actually knows how to respond to any and every given situation …” I love this statement as knowing this, raises the awareness about the way we live and the opportunity we have to deepen the relationship with ourselves.

  28. “One of the greatest things we have, yet we can be at war with the most, is our physical body.” So true Jane. Our body responds to us immediately whatever we do to it, and will do what it can to correct any imbalance or misuse to keep us in optimum health as far as it is able. But so often we ignore what it is telling us in order to keep doing what we want to be doing until such time that our body says STOP! And then we have a great opportunity for true healing if we are willing to listen.

  29. This is so true. To heal the unrest within ourselves will then heal the unrest within the world. It starts with us first. Every single one of us ✨

  30. The first quote from Serge Benhayon says it all. Outer change comes from inner change. And from the changes we make and then begin to live the ripple effect naturally flows on out to those around us and then out into the world. We must never underestimate the power we have as individuals to bring change to a world that is certainly in need of healing.

  31. It makes sense that we need to live in harmony with ourselves before we can do that with others. Everyday we take our body into relationships, and it’s the quality we live in our body that is taken to those we interact with. It’s also very real and practical to be in harmony with our body, not to fight ourselves but to honour and respect our body, and that harmony then becomes a way we live and is not an ideal we would like to live with others but something very real and tangible.

  32. When I can feel tension and a war within I know how I am with others changes, I’m a little on edge and not at ease. I may look to ways of easing this tension but only staying with my body and the willingness to be aware of its teachings do I start to accept myself, life around me and move in the flow of the universe. No short-cuts or other measures ever work because when we are out of rhythm we are called back – else the world would be even more wayward and chaotic, we’d be forever lost to who we truly are.

  33. The worst part about being at war with myself, is when I am aware of the fact that I do know deep down in my inner-most-heart that I can live or move through life with an incredible sense of love and joy, and yet I still continue to create situations that are far less than this simply by moving in a different way – a way that does not support love to be here, expressed. So the war is between my awareness and my movements and the will that I have to go between them – causing a constant unsettlement, and thus an internal war. Maybe one day the war will end as I will stop fighting the divinity that is there…

  34. Acknowledging that there is a battle going on within would be starting point. Often we don’t acknowledge this. We only need to look at the numbers of suicides, or even the levels of chronic ill health that we are seeing now, or even the quality of the relationships that we have with all people. We are really not travelling well, but we have a tendency of thinking that everything is ok. When we look at the world around us, one of the hardest things to do, is to then have a deep look at ourselves and how we are living. For it’s in that, that how we then relate to the world begins to change. However this required a level of responsibility which we may or may not accept. But like you say Jane, unless we are prepared to look at ourselves first, how would we expect the world outside to change.

  35. “or we can surrender to the wisdom of the body and allow it to show us and lead the way.” aaah, said my body, let’s do that.

  36. We can often be distracted fighting causes and conflicts that are not even our own. Anything to avoid dealing with the inner conflicts within us.

    1. How true Jenny. How our spirit loves to get caught up in someone else’s drama, fighting causes, defending friends etc. There is only one thing that matters and that is the loving truth. All else is delusion and illusion.

  37. I am feeling very fortunate to be working in a team where we each feel supported by one another. It makes a huge difference to the lightness and joy we feel when we are working together which is a great reminder to me that all of my relationships when I deal with my own inner conflict and build more love and trust in my own relationship with me.

  38. If we are experiencing inner conflict it begs the question what are these different aspects of ourselves or being and does it point to a lack of integration of living who we truly are as a human being?

    1. I have found it so useful to observe any conflict happening within and to do a reading on why I am entertaining that state of being – am I resisting the grander place that is being offered? What is the reason for the conflict? Having faced that, one naturally leaps into a more expanded and harmonious place.

  39. I know when I am tense with myself, I’m almost automatically tense with what’s going on around me. The subtle trick is I presume it’s the outward tension getting at me, this is the reaction when I don’t take responsibility for the tension I’m actually already in. When I’m not tense, I can observe external tensions and they keep flowing past. Awareness and observation are like magic when it comes to conflict.

    1. This is so true Sandra, I am aware of this myself and can very much relate. Often this tension gets projected or transferred onto others if I do not deal with it or take responsibility for how I am feeling. I notice how quickly this then creates disharmony in my relationships. And I agree, awareness and observation are key in combating conflict and also taking responsibility is a big factor.

  40. A beautiful blog that enables us from possible entanglement and that shows us that we are free to go, once we connect to our inner-heart and stillness. Because the moment we are at war with ourselves all we need to do is come back to our connection to our Light in our heart and instantly the troubles fade away. Simply because connection is the one that we need, as we are asked to deepen and grow..

  41. If we do not feel settled within how can we even contemplate bringing peace to the world. As we know peace is but one step away from war once more. Harmony is the key. Yet how many of us feel harmony within? If we feel confident and good about ourselves we have no need to bludgeon others.

  42. It is the war within ourselves that tears the body apart and renders it unable to reflect and communicate the divine intelligence of the Universe to us, and so this war has been intentionally and deliberately directed to us to keep us impotent and in a reduced version of the truth of ourselves. If we want to carry placards saying ‘No’ to war we must first turn the placards towards ourselves and say ‘no’ to the war that rages within. Every thought and act of aggression, anger, resentment, enmity towards another is towards our own self, as Yeshua taught over 2000 years ago.

  43. Jane thank you for talking about the battle we feel from within, the frustration we feel with choices, that we know are not true, or a burning desire to go against what we know to be true. When we honour ourselves and allow our choices to come from the love that we are the disturbance we feel begins to dissipate.

  44. Our bodies certainly take a back seat in the journey of life. We override them with various thoughts on how we should be or what we should do or what is even perceived to be good for us. Putting our bodies in the drivers seat is what is needed.

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