Understanding My Behaviours through my Experience with Universal Medicine

I came across Universal Medicine a couple of years ago, back in 2016. Since then I have had countless sessions with practitioners and lived with people who study the teachings of Serge Benhayon.

At that time I was just about to turn 21, returning home from a year abroad and had heard of Serge Benhayon, read one of his books and was quite intrigued to find out more.

What I found was that attending the workshops and presentations held by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine required an enormous amount of honesty and a willingness to understand my behaviours, and sometimes change those into self-loving and humanity-loving ones.

During the first year of my engagement with Universal Medicine I found it difficult to face everything I was feeling. Throughout my life I had built a persona of a ‘positive,’ ‘nice’ girl who would do anything for her family, friends and anybody really.

Through my work with Universal Medicine I began to realise just how manipulative these behaviours can be. The ‘nice’ is used as a form of protection to make sure that I am liked by everybody around me and remain on the ‘good’ side of people.

More so, this behaviour guaranteed that I was seen as something more than others. As ‘nice’ people we can often hold an arrogance of ‘better than.’ On a superficial level, we come across as better people, kinder and more caring because we put others first. This veil though can hide layers of anger, resentment and bitterness as it was in my case.

Through my process I have come to realise some unhealthy habits when it came to relationships with people closest to me such as family – I always used to end up right in the middle of any argument, any dispute, trying to save the situation and make sure peace was kept.

Growing up and studying psychology, I blamed all of my ‘issues’ on my upbringing. For as long as I can remember, I held things which have happened against my parents, my brother, cousins, aunts, uncles and pretty much anybody involved in my development.

For a while, the more I noticed my not so nice side and behaviours, the more the blame of others increased. I did not want to let go of what I was so sold out to – the nice girl. I was content in my lifestyle, but the drinking, smoking, bulimia and constant self-consciousness was whispering that what I had carved out for myself, may not actually be it.

So, increasing my honesty and awareness only meant that I can begin to see all the ways in which I am not loving with myself. It is then up to me to start taking steps to change these behaviours… and this is where the difficulty comes for me.

But, two years down the line and with enormous support from my practitioners, fellow students, friends and Serge Benhayon – who has treated me with nothing less than utmost respect and fathering care – I have started to take small steps. With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.

All of the ‘childhood issues’ a degree in Psychology might have cemented, have been completely debased by the teachings of this wise man and I no longer hold a grudge against my parents and family members. In truth, I hold a deeper understanding of why humanity is where it is because using ‘childhood incidents’ as an excuse to stay in self-abusive patterns is a very convenient way to remain irresponsible and not address the choices we are making as adults.

Thank you Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Miranda Benhayon, and every single other person associated and working with Universal Medicine, I feel much more empowered to live my life from honesty and my own way.

By Viktoria Stoykova, Operations Assistant, London, United Kingdom

Further Reading:
Being Nice
We are not our hurts
Our tendency to blame others and the freedom responsibility brings

569 thoughts on “Understanding My Behaviours through my Experience with Universal Medicine

  1. I feel I am a much more loving member of my family, a better friend and a more dedicated and conscientious worker as a result of being more honesty about my own behaviour and my need to be nice, acceptable and liked. It is debilitating in childhood and equally debilitating in adult life.

  2. Understanding behaviours in terms of our hurts and rejections can be helpful to a point, and then there is our choice to reject ourselves and separate from the love that we are.

  3. Universal Medicine has supported me immensely to see, but more importantly understand my extremely unloving behaviours towards myself and others without judgement, criticism or punishment. No more laying of blame outside of myself has been pivotal in my healing all the unresolved hurts that had been laying deep within. I am now in control of my life and the choices I make from the connection I now choose to embrace with myself and my body.

  4. The blame game is such an ugly one, that simply poisons everyone involved. They key is to change the energy which is like stepping out of the loop in which such energies and others too, just go round and round.

  5. When we change the energy source we are aligning to in our bodies by re-connecting within to our inner essence its like being another person, the true and loving person we innately are that has been buried under all that we are not. It changes everything, and feels amazing. Sure, we then get to see the what is not and have to let go of lots of patterns and behaviours but they were never serving us anyway, and the more they are let go of the more we can appreciate our true and loving selves once again.

  6. ‘the more I noticed my not so nice side and behaviours, the more the blame of others increased’ – absolutely amazing that you stayed with yourself consistently and with honesty, to break through the ‘nice’.

  7. How often do we collude with nice because we think it leaves us alone, but it is incredibly insidious because it hard to call out someone who is being nice because of the solid veneer that protects the niceness. We can feel it is fake, and the art is to not pander to, or entertain what does not feel true.

  8. ‘I no longer hold a grudge against my parents and family members’. This is great. I can feel how it is the norm to blame others and to not take responsibility for our lives and how we are. It is very empowering to know that our life is the result of our choices and that it is us who are responsible.

  9. And it never ends as we become more aware of our behaviours that do not support us. Evolution is recognising and accepting the beauty and grace in every moment we sense a behaviour is abusive and no longer serves us; it is a commitment to then live the truth of who we are in that moment.

  10. ‘With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.’ I once heard someone say that we never get more than we can handle, Just today I was feeling completely overwhelmed by everything that has been happening in my life and was feeling so vulnerable that the smallest thing could set me off in tears, but when I stopped and allowed that connection, knowing that there is a constellation that happens whenever we are connected and a bit like joining the dots, people came to help just when needed and everything turned out fine.

    1. However, whatever is hidden can be felt, energetically – hence the importance of us being super connected with our bodies, which never lie, allowing us to understand the truth of what is actually going on around us.

    2. It is horrible because it is not really hidden in that we feel it is not nice at all but then are trained from a young age to override what we have felt. Therefore you not only get the poison of nice (which is very different to truth of love) but also the guilt, separation and self doubt if you are not trusting yourself and clear about what you have felt.

      1. Yes true Nicola, it teaches us to not be 100% absolute in what we feel, and to override it with what we hear or see.

  11. The veneer of nice we protect ourselves with can keep us stuck unless we chose to heal our issues and take responsibility for our own life rather than blaming others for the mess we find ourselves in. For me, as for many others, this was only possible when I started attending the presentations of Universal Medicine.

  12. The more we are encouraged to stop and observe our behaviours and that of others, the more we bring an understanding that heals our hurts. Then we are empowered to move beyond the Blame Game, to take responsibility for the nonsensical and restore a way of life that holds all in equal respect, including ourselves and all our family members.

    1. Understanding that everything is energy first and that we all have free will to make our own choices deeply supports us to not engage in the blame game, which just drains us and pulls us away from our own truth.

  13. Universal Medicine has helped me immensely to understand both myself and the world what is really going on, and has brought an ever increasing depth of honesty and love to my life, my family and every one around me with a responsibility and commitment to life.

  14. Thanks Viktoria for dismantling the ‘nice’, the arrogance and willingness to control what surrounds us from that imprisoning character I also chose during a great part of my life. Letting go of that pattern has not always been easy as there is a trend to think that being nice and good, is the best thing we can do for ourselves and others, which is a complete lie and a prison in itself. What I’m realising during this process is that the more honest and less investing in any appearance or result, the more respectful to others and free I am. As you well say : ‘I feel much more empowered to live my life from honesty and in my own way’.

  15. It is no surprise that a large proportion of those who choose to study subjects such as psychology, mental health, counselling etc. are often seeking to understand their own lives. Such a great opportunity to then support others, not from the subjects of study, but from a true understanding of life from the presentations of Universal Medicine presenting the Ageless Wisdom and allowing us to return to the same deep knowing we have always had but chose to turn away from.

  16. Universal Medicine has supported me to see how I used to relate myself to behaviors and not who I truly was. I would say I was a ‘nice’ person -but in truth this is someone who is willing to hold back what they truly observe. Very cunning.

  17. Realising how we are ‘nice’ and the falseness that goes along with it can be exposing. However, it also reveals so much about what we investing in.

    1. I’m deeply appreciating that, exposing the truth may be uncomfortable and confronting but equally, so liberating and a gorgeous opportunity to clear out what doesn’t belong, allowing more space for what does – LOVE.

  18. We’re not perfect but it is a bit startling sometimes when we realise how we have behaved in families, and can see through the games we’ve played. But that’s ok, it is our learning and to go gently with ourselves as we learn the behaviours, we can make different choices.

    1. Wise words Gill – ‘go gently with ourselves’….how important to treat ourselves with tenderness rather than self-criticism and even abuse.

      1. ‘We’re not perfect’ …… so true Gill. What a load that takes off ourselves & everyone equally so in knowing that we’re not perfect & we don’t have to be. We can just stop ‘trying’ to be something we’re not naturally meant to be. It’s through that endless trying that the games develop, the manipulation & control seep in and the unloving behaviours affect our choices. As you have shared, it’s in the letting go of the trying to be perfect that we can then make different choices.

  19. This is so true Viktoria … “using ‘childhood incidents’ as an excuse to stay in self-abusive patterns is a very convenient way to remain irresponsible and not address the choices we are making as adults.” This is how many of us choose to live – run by past hurts, but once these are seen and understood for what they are, our lives completely transform and responsibility becomes an inspiration.

  20. Its a huge choice to be able to take the step to heal the hurts we have carried from childhood. It’s a very big step into self-responsibility. The end result is that no one is blamed for the choice made after the hurt and we no longer see that person as the person who has caused the hurt, but as another making a series of choices. We are able to remove ourselves from this and see the bigger picture. True healing in action. Its no surprise then this brings out the reaction in others, for we don’t like to see the lack of responsibly in our own choices.

  21. I agree “In truth, I hold a deeper understanding of why humanity is where it is because using ‘childhood incidents’ as an excuse to stay in self-abusive patterns is a very convenient way to remain irresponsible and not address the choices we are making as adults.” I could have hung on to the issues that I was hurt by as I grew up, and there are many reasons that things are hung onto, but the truth is I am the only one who can heal my hurts, and I have, and I am. I hold no malice towards my family or anyone around me in my informative years. Letting go of the hurt has catapulted me into joy, acceptance and self empowerment, which continues to deepen.

  22. I dare say that a large proportion of the population feel held back by their emotional state, thoughts or behaviours, or has bought self help books, been to counseling or psychotherapy. I know I experienced much of this and I suspect I’m not that unusual. So what you present here Viktoria about the potential offered by Universal Medicine is of immense value for so many, I know it has helped me immeasurably.

  23. Through my association with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have come to realise and understand some my unhealthy addictions to life. The worst one I feel is that I just function in life I go about my day in the function of getting through the day by focusing on what I need to do and at the moment it feels as though I’m wearing a strait jacket there’s no room for freedom of movement. And I hate the feeling this produces in my body that is aching to be more free flowing. This shows me just how much I want to control life rather than letting things unfold this feels like a big ask from a mind that has always been in control of my body for all these years, the great thing is I’m more aware of the hold my mind has over my body. I would never have got to this clarity of understanding if not for the support of Serge Benhayon and his family.

  24. I love this Viktoria; ‘With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.’ It feels really empowering and makes me realise that we do not need to fear anything – that what we encounter allows us to learn and grow.

  25. This is gold. To understand ourselves and why humanity is as it is. Surely this is what life should be about – honesty and willingness to go beneath the surface to expose and clear hidden hurts and resentments. And when we do, we’re no longer shackled to our past, but free to be in the world with openness and love.

  26. All that we created on this planet are actions from the spirit, not from the soul. So having a mom and dad is not what we have in other layers of existence. So why do we want to be ‘good’? We are invested to have a ‘nice’ family for example that blinds us from what is really there to see.

  27. And the tool kit that Universal Medicine supplies keeps on expanding, providing yet more ways to observe ourselves, explore and expand our awareness of who we are and how we maximise the wise and loving essence in all of us.

  28. “…who would do anything for her family, friends and anybody really.” We are taught that this is the good way to be – yet what about doing stuff for ourselves? what about looking after ourselves? It’s so topsy-turvy the way the whole thing is set up – a massive, massive set up, that is perfectly designed to hold us back from our true power.

  29. “I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.” There are very young women in the world with that level of foundation and inner confidence – thank you for the inspiration that you are offering. A bright light amongst the often dark lives that so many are living.

    1. Yeah I was work shopping with another woman who really didn’t have self worth issues it was so refreshing to experience this it is incredibly unusual.

      1. And yet when we see it or experience it in another, or in ourselves, it actually feels utterly normal…how it is meant to be…a space in which the truth of the person blossoms.

  30. Understanding why we behave the way we do brings revelation, we get to the root cause and can make lasting change; managing our behaviours maintains the status quo – nothing changes.

      1. It isn’t until we are willing to surrender and be open to the truth that we realise the enormity of the lie we have been living. However, would we rather be free of the lies and live the love that we are, or continue with the lies?

  31. Its true that the mental health industry in general and in fact the world is geared towards managing but not to truly understanding behaviour. Management is not sustainable whilst we are truly willing to look deeper at what is really going on underneath.

    1. Management is a survival technique where as truly looking under the behaviour for the root cause of the discontent it is always invariably to do with a lack of connection.

  32. To truly understand ourselves and hence other people too, requires us to relinquish judgment, comparison and jealousy in order to arrive in a place of neutral observation. From here we are empowered to see a multitude of reasons behind every action and hence bring greater awareness to the quality of our choices and their subsequent outcomes.

  33. There are thousands of people who have received the wisdom that Universal Medicine offers, every word presented or every healing technique received, in my experience has built an inner understanding and an experience that has changed and evolved every aspect of life.

  34. ‘So, increasing my honesty and awareness only meant that I can begin to see all the ways in which I am not loving with myself. It is then up to me to start taking steps to change these behaviours… and this is where the difficulty comes for me.’ This can be the very reason that we resist returning to the awareness we left behind and is otherwise waiting for us.

    1. Being open to the truth means being open to accepting that we have been wrong, that our choices have been based on a lie, an un-truth. Where we are in our lives may feel ‘comfortable’ however, whilst we continue to stay inside ‘the cave’, however amazing that cave may feel to us, it’s still a cave and we can’t imagine how gloriously divine it is to step outside into the sunshine until we choose to do so.

  35. For me the world got so much bigger through the presentations of Serge Benhayon. I realized how focused I had been on my life and how things were going there and didn’t really care about people in other parts of the world. The realization that we are all connected and can only get things done when we work together in brotherhood made so much sense and was palpable in my whole body. But also the realization that there is so much more than the physical we can see with our eyes and that we are part of the universe.

    1. Love this expression, the ‘world got bigger’ the me and the I makes our life super narrow and small, beginning to consider the All, our impact and purpose in life, this brings a sense of space for sure.

  36. I have found that a lot of my detrimental behaviours come from an underlying hurt and reaction to what I have seen, felt or sensed. There is a lot going on in the world and we are not here to be perfect, but the more I see each moment that presents itself as an opportunity to learn, the less reactive I am and the more willing I am to see it for what it is.

    1. Beautifully said, I can see this occurring in my life, the more I am open to learn, the less I react…with less reaction it is much more simple to have clarity about the next steps to take.

      1. It sure is Samantha. What I love is how much we can learn when we are open to it that seemingly tough obstacles or situations melt away so quickly when we let go of needing them to be a certain way and allow them to just be what they are.

      2. Yes when the challenges come, they can feel like a bump rather than a mountain, or some times, even like just another day, same day quality, rather than any bumps. I have lots going on in my life, some things that there is no way I could have handled them 10 – 20 years ago, but now I can with a deep level of love, joy and steadiness in my day.

  37. To focus attention on others takes us further away from ourselves and we stay exactly where we are. It is our behaviour that matters and when we put our own house in order, many so called issues cease to exist.

  38. “I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way’” To have this level of surety from within Viktoria is a great marker, for when we do, we no longer shrink back from life or feel embattled by it, we embrace it in full.

  39. Once we start to acknowledge the behaviours we have taken on, those ways of being that are not who we are, then we begin to truly heal.

  40. The Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon can be confronting to people because it has at its very foundation energetic integrity and energetic responsibility – neither of which are foundational from very young or in our everyday lives … and so we are faced with all our irresponsible choices but the key is that it is offered in a loving way if we allow ourselves to feel this true support and not react.

  41. The name of the game here is in understanding that all our behaviours, thoughts actions and words are all impulsed, either by an energy that holds all equal in light and love, or by an energy that milks our emotions to the ‘nth degree. When we are empowered to know how to actively come home to the love within us, we can finally take responsibility for our destiny once more, and relinquish our need to blame others for what we set in motion a long time ago.

  42. There’s an important part of the title of this blog “…through my experience…” I find that it is the lessons that I live rather than the lessons that I hear which have much more chance of sticking with me.

    1. I love the fact that you have picked this up as it is really important and also great for me to read right now. Although another can offer us a learning or expansion with something if we do to actually feel it, try it out or live it for ourselves there is not real learning, healing or understanding. Similarly it is trusting and honouring ourselves when something does not feel right.

    1. Ditto Otto. Life has taken on a whole new meaning to what I had been living prior to attending the Universal Medicine workshops. What they present is true education without a doubt.

      1. And I just attended another month of presentations and yet again a whole new level of understanding, awareness and wisdom is offered to us all. Universal Medicine makes this crazy world make absolute sense! And if that is fully understood and embraced then it is a very liberating, inspiring and powerful gift for all of humanity.

    2. Yes, understanding forces that affect our behaviour is a great teaching and awareness to have, highlighting that not everything we experience and react to stems from, or can be blamed upon unresolved childhood issues.

      1. So could we say that ‘blaming unresolved childhood issues’ is actually an indulgence that allows us to avoid responsibility? Could we say that many forms of therapy and psychology are in fact selling irresponsibility? Something that I certainly and gladly bought for years preferring to be allowed to carry on with my life as it was, than to stop, look in the mirror and accept that these were my choices, that I am responsible for, thus it is up to me to move the changes in my life.

    3. Yes Otto, understanding the forces that affect our behaviours is fundamental to life and without Universal Medicine and this profound education, I would be less able to hold myself as I do in life.

    4. Absolutely Otto … The two must always go together. Understanding the forces affecting behaviour is the key and this is what needs to be shared and taught from when we are very young as it brings great understanding to the whole of life.

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