Understanding My Behaviours through my Experience with Universal Medicine

I came across Universal Medicine a couple of years ago, back in 2016. Since then I have had countless sessions with practitioners and lived with people who study the teachings of Serge Benhayon.

At that time I was just about to turn 21, returning home from a year abroad and had heard of Serge Benhayon, read one of his books and was quite intrigued to find out more.

What I found was that attending the workshops and presentations held by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine required an enormous amount of honesty and a willingness to understand my behaviours, and sometimes change those into self-loving and humanity-loving ones.

During the first year of my engagement with Universal Medicine I found it difficult to face everything I was feeling. Throughout my life I had built a persona of a ‘positive,’ ‘nice’ girl who would do anything for her family, friends and anybody really.

Through my work with Universal Medicine I began to realise just how manipulative these behaviours can be. The ‘nice’ is used as a form of protection to make sure that I am liked by everybody around me and remain on the ‘good’ side of people.

More so, this behaviour guaranteed that I was seen as something more than others. As ‘nice’ people we can often hold an arrogance of ‘better than.’ On a superficial level, we come across as better people, kinder and more caring because we put others first. This veil though can hide layers of anger, resentment and bitterness as it was in my case.

Through my process I have come to realise some unhealthy habits when it came to relationships with people closest to me such as family – I always used to end up right in the middle of any argument, any dispute, trying to save the situation and make sure peace was kept.

Growing up and studying psychology, I blamed all of my ‘issues’ on my upbringing. For as long as I can remember, I held things which have happened against my parents, my brother, cousins, aunts, uncles and pretty much anybody involved in my development.

For a while, the more I noticed my not so nice side and behaviours, the more the blame of others increased. I did not want to let go of what I was so sold out to – the nice girl. I was content in my lifestyle, but the drinking, smoking, bulimia and constant self-consciousness was whispering that what I had carved out for myself, may not actually be it.

So, increasing my honesty and awareness only meant that I can begin to see all the ways in which I am not loving with myself. It is then up to me to start taking steps to change these behaviours… and this is where the difficulty comes for me.

But, two years down the line and with enormous support from my practitioners, fellow students, friends and Serge Benhayon – who has treated me with nothing less than utmost respect and fathering care – I have started to take small steps. With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.

All of the ‘childhood issues’ a degree in Psychology might have cemented, have been completely debased by the teachings of this wise man and I no longer hold a grudge against my parents and family members. In truth, I hold a deeper understanding of why humanity is where it is because using ‘childhood incidents’ as an excuse to stay in self-abusive patterns is a very convenient way to remain irresponsible and not address the choices we are making as adults.

Thank you Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Miranda Benhayon, and every single other person associated and working with Universal Medicine, I feel much more empowered to live my life from honesty and my own way.

By Viktoria Stoykova, Operations Assistant, London, United Kingdom

Further Reading:
Being Nice
We are not our hurts
Our tendency to blame others and the freedom responsibility brings

574 thoughts on “Understanding My Behaviours through my Experience with Universal Medicine

  1. Protecting others just tells others in a non verbal way that they are not up to whatever it is you are protecting them from; it disempowers them rather than protects them and feeds a need in us to makes us feel like we are useful, needed, perhaps even loved. I take my hat off to you and deeply appreciate your blog.

  2. People behaving good and nice are hard to fault because it is our desired behaviour in society but when the good and nice are a way to survive in life and are actually not coming from love and someone who loves themselves this is just a facade.

  3. “With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way..” Yes, we are never given more than we are able to deal with.

  4. I don’t know a lot about psychology, but without taking the aspect of esoteric into consideration, I don’t quite see how it can truly support people with so-called ‘issues’. It feels like it will have to have something/someone to blame, but ‘blame’ is not ok, so we would forever be naval-gazing, trying to get somewhere, trying to become something ‘better’ just like a dog chasing its own tail.

    1. Yes, I feel we are all trying to explain why we feel the way we do and all the mental health professions work to look at those explanations but if we don’t take into consideration the energetic and consider the relationship between soul and spirit we will never offer freedom from patterns of behaviour that are dysfunctional in our lives.

    2. Having tried many previous ways to deal with my ‘issues’ – and failed – Universal Medicine is the only way I have found to allow complete healing.

  5. I resonated with blaming others for our hurts, when we are just as much accountable to this. For me, anger was my go to, and I needed to control things, so I wouldn’t get hurt. I feel from time to time, this can still play out, it is forever refining.

    I have no regrets in meeting Serge Benhayon, his family or Universal Medicine. If I hadn’t met them, my life would not have been a pretty picture, burnt out, angry with the world and seeing a psychologist or a counsellor by now.

    I now love life with its ups and downs, and the process doesn’t happen over night. I too received the support from practitioners and the workshops. I have never learnt so much about myself and I’ve formed a truer and honest relationship with myself, much different than before.

  6. The teachings of the Ageless Wisdom does indeed help us to place the responsibility for all our woes at our own feet and to not use blame as a way to avoid this responsibility.

  7. Universal Medicine teachings answer our questions in life more than anything else I have ever known because the answers come from the Ageless Wisdom, and this is the wisdom we can all choose to return to.

  8. I find it a little disturbing how having studied psychology, you feel that your childhood issues would have been more cemented rather than solved, and I feel this sometimes happens when we blame others for our misfortunes. Taking responsibility for ourselves, as the teachings of Universal Medicine show us, gives us a much clearer picture that we can heal ourselves of our childhood hurts. This support will develop you into an amazing psychologist who can support many other people.

  9. Honesty is a much needed quality in the world today and what you have shared takes us much deeper than just not telling lies, inviting us to be super honest with ourselves and each other about everything.

  10. If I can see that my behaviours will be reflected back to me every day and in every way, this is a great way to explore what needs changing and what needs working on. It’s when we don’t want to see that we get stuck with the same reflections coming back at us over and over, like a stuck record.

  11. I have learnt and understand so much about myself and life since knowing Serge Benhayon. I spent years when I was younger under the care of a top psychologist in their field of work. They were a psychologist and a psychotherapist and I would say looking back that they didn’t help my situation; they didn’t get to the nub of my depression or mental illness. Serge Benhayon on the other hand with no formal education in the field of psychology has supported me in less time to be completely free of any mental health issues. That is phenomenal. With mental illness rising to such a degree that now children are suffering from mental ill health, I would have thought someone would be knocking on the Clinic door of Universal Medicine to ask how is it possible? And I am not the only one who has transformed their lives. Thanks to the support of Universal Medicine there are now thousands of us.

    1. It surprises me too that more people aren’t open to the work of Universal Medicine when there are so many profound healing stories – such as yours- that have enabled people to come back from both physical and mental illness and to live a purposeful life, contributing to society

  12. If one is willing to be truly honest, wish to truly heal and really know yourself then there is nothing more profound, supportive and practical that what is presented by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Healing Modalities.

  13. It’s interesting how we take on these roles within our families. I took on the role of being there for everyone and making myself indispensable to the family, as in I was the one they called upon to help with an issue or confide in. The trouble with this (amongst other things) is you get to the point where you can’t say no and give your power away but you think you are the one in control.

    1. I too conspired to be the person everyone came to, I felt it was my duty and my call. Yet I just disempowered people and powdered my own ego because then I felt needed, wanted, useful and that I had a purpose. Considering it now it is a pernicious behaviour.

  14. Understanding our past can reveal where we separated from the love that we are, whilst blaming can interfere with our own process of acceptance and understanding.

  15. Another great example of how far we can wander from who we truly are by trying to fit in to a picture of our own or one we perceive others have. There is nothing but chaos in this existence as we mutate and modify ourselves in a desperate attempt to fit in, get recognition and/or feel like we belong. The beauty and simplicity of living who we truly are, qualities, strengths, weaknesses and all, allows life’s magic to flow.

  16. Honestly, Honesty is the greatest stepping stone on our return to being a Student of The Livingness, especially when we start to understand the connection we have to essences and how being at-least honest deepens that connect-ability.

  17. The fathering care I also receive from Serge Benhayon is unlike any other. It is a gift to feel so appreciated and important. It has also allowed me to see the difference between truth and family and how we have used the term family to not treat each other with the respect and love we all know.

  18. Honesty, a beautiful word, a word of healing and healing brings clarity and power. I feel the Universal Medicine courses I have attended have offered me the space to explore honestly what I am constructed of and personally choose to clear out the debris that stops this vehicle working smoothly. I say thank you.

  19. It is so interesting to ponder how we “carve out” particular patterns and ways of being to bring relief to the tension that we are feeling in life. Whilst they provide the exact type of avoidance or relief we seek that do nothing to help address, or be with what is disturbing us.

  20. Accepting the level of Love that can be reflected by us is a part of our journey of returning to our essences or innate self, and once found, life is turned some-what on it head in the most glorious ways.

  21. Being nice I thought would bring me popularity, to not feel rejected and lonely but to be liked by everyone. It has worked to some degree but on a superficial level. What I am finding now is that as I learn to express the truth of who I am people are not buying into the niceness any more; people can feel and sense that there is more to me, they want me to express even if I am going to cause discomfort or ruffle a few feathers. Being nice is nothing but protection, a way of being to try and cover the power that lies within but people are not fooled by it no matter how hard we try to act and play something we are not.

  22. ‘Nice’ and ‘good’ are qualities to avoid as they mask a falseness and deceive. Better to be true to self and share that quality with others, then others get to feel all of you and you all of them.

  23. To understand our own behaviour supports us to understand other’s too, and chips away at the urge to judge self and others.

  24. Becoming aware of forces affecting behaviour is important, but never does it remove the responsibility we have to choose behaviours that best serve ourselves and others.

  25. As soon as we get in the blame game we have lost the plot and it is time to take our bat and ball and go Home! To paraphrase, reconnecting to our Inner-Heart and then we know the truth and thus can heal and reconnect to our divinity, or Home.

  26. Being nice and doing “good” is more evil, than someone punching in your face. I rather prefer the second option. As someone who is nice is like a fish, which always tries to slip out of your hands, you cannot grab it whilst it communicates something seemingly totally different.

  27. It is the comfortable way to blame everything and everyone for why we are behaving how we are behaving. It is convenient, but it will never support you to come back to your true power and essence which we all miss and let go of- which in fact is the greatest pain we all carry inside us.

  28. Understanding our behaviours, why we fit into our families in a certain way, what role we play, why we repeat things and what motivates us is a huge learning we can embrace throughout our whole life. This is how we learn and grow, and develop our wisdom.

  29. Being ‘nice’, being ‘good’ as a form of protection can be a very difficult habit to renounce because of the apparent benefits from being so and the honesty that is then called for on renouncing it. However, on doing so life becomes simpler, honest and true and thereby freeing and empowering.

  30. Thank you Victoria for what you have shared here,

    I too was “using ‘childhood incidents’ as an excuse to stay in self-abusive patterns ” and I agree it “is a very convenient way to remain irresponsible and not address the choices we are making as adults.”
    Since attending universal medicine events and receiving deeply healing sessions with Serge Benhayon and other practitioners I have come to a place of more deeply understanding and accepting myself and family with the knowing that we are not our behaviours but something much deeper and richer within.
    My behaviour and that of my parents can at times be incongruent with that deeper essence of who we are, resulting in a behaviour that doesn’t reflect the deeper loving aspect of our true self.
    It is with this understanding that I have started to become more aware and reconnect to that true essence or soulful part of me. As a result I understand that equally exists in all as we all have that deeper essence within but may not always choose to access it.
    It is from this place I feel more able to deeply love, accept and observe what is really occurring in my relationships with myself and others and as a result take more responsibility.

  31. Universal Medicine encourages absolute honesty and self responsibility and sometimes choosing to do this is confronting and challenging but the expansion and freedom to be all of who we are is the ‘Blessing’. Thank you Viktoria, your sharing exposes the web of illusion and delay many seek and it illustrates the absolute wisdom that you already held within and were willing to live by. I am also deeply appreciating Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all the practitioners which support and foster living honestly and from the heart first.

  32. Having fostered the blame on my parents, siblings and life in general, encouraged I have to say, by the psychiatrist I saw for many, many years. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon and his family and all the continuous support they have given me, that I came to understand that playing the victim was a huge excuse not to look at myself and the hurts I had been dragging around as an avoidance to not involve myself in life. I am continuing to deepen my understanding of the energy of life and how this plays an enormous part in its activity. None of this was part of my education growing up, and to me we are depriving our children of the basic building block of life by not explaining to them from day dot, that life is energy first before it is anything else.

  33. When we begin to understand that we have developed behaviours to protect ourselves from being hurt, we start to understand that everyone else has done the same thing. We begin to see that how we are through everything in life is seen and done through the veil of protecting our hurts. It really explains so much.

    1. By taking the time to talk about our hurts and heal them, we give ourselves permission to let go of the control we feel we need to get through life, so it becomes less of a box ticking exercise of we have got to get through life. There is no enjoyment in living this way. If we were to again be honest with ourselves, we would agree there is no Joy as we cannot replace happiness with Joy because happiness is so transient.

    2. Knowing we’re the same as all others and that everyone wears a protective shield of some sort supports us to not simply see or judge behaviour, but relate to the person behind the shield, their true essence.

  34. “With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way. What a beautiful understanding and place to be with expansion on our doorstep in every moment and movement we make.

  35. I would like to thank all the students and friends involved or we know via Universal Medicine too Viktoria — it is a super loving community where you can be yourself and be supported whole-heartedly without question. What is also special is the care and nurturing that extends and inspires our families, work colleagues, shop assistances etc. The ripple effect is endless. All thanks to Universal Medicine and the Benhayon family. We should be studied not ridiculed.

  36. It’s so easy to blame our parents and childhood issues for how our lives turn out, thus avoiding any responsibility for the part we play in shaping our lives.

  37. Viktoria I can completely relate to this resistance to letting go of what we have sold out to.
    Could it be that by clinging to an identity, we are saying no to evolution, signing a contract to stay circulating in creation rather than exploring and reactivating the self love and responsibility that is the gateway to our natural unending potential….

  38. What I have noticed is there can be a blur between a person and their behaviour. Sometimes it is easy to misinterpret a behaviour as if that behaviour soley identifies them, and then it is easy for judgment to come in and lace what we see or the relationship we may have with them. The ability to put aside the behaviour offers an opportunity to see a person for who they are, and introduces understanding which is a worthy ingredient for any relationship.

    1. When we see someone for who they are first, we clearly see that who they are not is a behaviour, and we all have them. If we are seeing their behaviour as them and making a judgement, then we are the ones who need to stop and look at ourselves.

  39. “With honesty, a little bit more integrity in my life and a greater strength from within, I know that I can deal with everything that comes my way.” It is striking, how when we grow in our inner confidence how it is possible to remain so much steadier when unexpected and more challenging situations come our way.

  40. What could be more loving than offering truth in this life? I too can relate to good and nice with bells on but truth is a completely different league and can truly serve others where nice has no chance.

  41. The blame game and victimhood go out the window when we become honest and start to deal with the fact that we have been making choices from early that were in reaction to our environment and the people closest to us that did not in truth support but undermined us further. And frequently we then become the absolute experts at this kind of self-destructive behaviour and far outdo anything that anyone could have ever done to us.

    1. Very true, we know exactly to a tee how to self-destruct. It really does stop me in my tracks as I get a sense more deeply of the relationship I have with responsibility in my life and how there cannot ever be any blame or victimhood regardless of the events or situations we find ourselves in.

  42. The ‘nice’ girl isn’t living in harmony, she’s pleasing others. This can be seen through by everyone so it doesn’t work, far better to simply be 100% ourselves.

  43. It is gorgeous to hear the story of someone reclaiming themselves and their power in knowing what is true for them and what is not. It is sadly not something you generally hear in society today. Usually it’s the other way where the story is about how someone came to live so far from their truth.

  44. Yes, you could say that the field of psychology and counselling cashes in on people being identified with their hurts. Universal Medicine breaks the mould by focusing on self-responsibility and the power to make choices and claiming what we feel is true.

    1. Great point Janet. Ditto all the self- help books on the market. Taking responsibility for the part we play in life, our choices and behaviours is the path to true healing.

    2. Yes Janet, I’ve only consulted a psychological counsellor once and it felt false. On this occasion, I was presented with a line of questioning that dwelt on past hurts and even explored the possibility of sexual abuse. This in itself felt abusive and manipulative, not holding. Universal Medicine supports us to heal ourselves by taking responsibility in the here and now through our choices and by releasing blame.

      1. Kehinde2012 I spent years with a psychologist one of the top in the country at the time. We dwelt on past hurts and the psychologist became my crutch in life my go to and after a few years when they said I was sexually abused as a child I believed them. It gave me an excuse for my mental breakdown and illness. At last I had a label, at last I was a victim, I had an excuse not to live life but to play the ‘woes is me’ I’m a victim card. I played it very well until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who supported me to start taking responsibility for my life. It took a while but I live a life free of depression and mental ill health. Now that to me is a miracle.

      2. Yes Mary miracles are possible and you a living example of this. Serge Benhayon and The Way of the Livingness inspires and empowers us to live responsibly, free of crutches, whether it be an illness we identify with, psychologist we’re attached to or substance abuse.

      3. Great point Janet. By focusing on one’s hurts keeps one imprisoned in the past and without resolution. As you say Kehinde, “Universal Medicine supports us to heal ourselves by taking responsibility in the here and now through our choices and by releasing blame” and by doing so we are able to move into our future free of the past.

    3. “we are able to move into our future free of the past.” Thank you Jonathon. A rare quality to hold, but with the support of Universal Medicine, not rare at all. There was a time in my life when I thought I would never be free of past hurts and disappointments, now my body moves in a way that is full of Love, not my past.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s