I have always had a lack of finances, but then I have always had a consistent ‘lack of everything’, as nothing seemed to flow in my life. But how could my life flow when my long time habit was ‘overspending’, always playing catch up with my finances with any savings just being short term? This pattern was a big reflection of my life-force energy (kidney energy) and how I ‘overspent’: for example, I over-gave to others and put other’s needs before my own (so I could feel needed), which left very little energy for myself and suffice to say, left me exhausted.
What’s Kidney Energy got to do with my Finances?
This pattern continued for many years until about 6 years ago, when I started attending courses presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, which brought me so many realisations, along with a deeper understanding of my past choices. I realised that I had been living in a way that was draining my life force (my kidney energy) and that this was being reflected in my relationship with my finances!
I started to become aware that there were many ways that I had consistently been abusing my body and that had contributed to the draining of my kidney energy (energetically and physically). These included:
- Lack of commitment to life – sums up my life in a sentence; because I always believed that I did not belong ‘here’, and that there was no space for me to express all of who I am, which meant that I was not able to trust that I could fully support myself and meet my own needs. This created the huge tension and anxiety that I lived with, which without doubt, completely and utterly drained my life force, leaving my kidney bank on empty.
- Lack of quality sleep – mostly I underestimated the importance and function of sleep and would stay up late; not very wise, considering I was ‘overspending’ daily, meaning my body would have needed to go to bed extra early to recuperate, to recharge, to refuel and bring back into balance my ‘overspending’. In the morning I would wake exhausted, without enough fuel for the day ahead, and so I found myself tanking up on another fuel to cope – sugar!
- Lack of nourishing food – the sweet taste of sugar was my saviour and my downfall. It got me through the day, but at what cost? I became addicted and so dependent on sugar – and all kinds of comfort foods, including dairy and bread. Over-eating, eating too fast and eating sugar all drained my kidney energy.
- Lack of self-worth/Lack of Connection – I have always carried a feeling of ‘not deserving’ and not being ‘good enough’, and on top of that I was my own worst critic/self-basher and super judgmental, especially if I felt I got something wrong. I can feel now how harming and how harsh and unloving this was for my kidneys, which all negatively impacted my posture, how I carried myself and how I moved.
What’s The Connection?
What’s the connection between exhaustion and lack of finances? For me it was holding back my true expression – it is exhausting holding back love, the love that we are born with. It is exhausting not ever expressing feelings, and it is exhausting and toxic taking on the emotions of others. It is exhausting when we say to life, “I’m not playing or committing to this life game”, which immediately impacted (reduced, sucked and drained) my life force.
What I came to understand was that the kidneys energetically represent our life force, which in turn is linked to our finances. The relationship between money and kidney energy is a reflection of our relationship with money and our self-worth: how we are using it, what we are using it for, and our ability to use it to truly support ourselves and create abundance in our life (not just from a dollar value, but abundance in all areas of our life such as food choices, work, relationships) and this process for me began with self-care, simply taking care of myself, and most importantly ‘giving to myself’, because ‘I was worth it’.
Self-Care, Sacred Esoteric Healing and Esoteric Massage
Through self-care I began to feel what truly nourished my body and what didn’t. Giving to myself included all the support I now allowed in my life, such as attending the Sacred Esoteric Healing and Esoteric Massage courses.
Attending the Sacred Esoteric Healing courses, followed by the Esoteric Massage course (modalities presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine), I found an amazing support for my entire body, particularly from having Esoteric Kidney Massages. My kidneys have loved and appreciated the kidney massage after all the abuse and disregard of my body over the years. These courses were a fantastic support to help clear and heal so many of my old ways, my old behaviours and choices, and a big turn-around for me – spending energy wisely.
Space For Love
This ‘lack of everything’ I ran with for years equals ‘lack of love’. I can now feel so much more space for myself to express more of who I am. I have created the space for love (and life) to flow… and love does not overspend, love expands, deepens and is all encompassing, bringing simplicity, truth, connection, commitment, trust, support, appreciation and abundance into all areas of my life.
Love – self-love – has been my medication that I am never going to give up on again.
With the currency of love and appreciation flowing through my veins, my financial bank and my kidney bank are flourishing and fuller, and expanding by the day, now that I have my own private and discerning bank manager – moi – and the bank manager is saying YES to Love and to ‘playing’ in life again.
By Jacqueline McFadden, Esoteric Healing Practitioner, Scotland