All through my life until recently, I equated my true nature of being delicate as somewhat of a liability, a weakness, certainly not the strength I now know it to be. I hardened up as a supposed shield to protect myself in life. I later discovered that protecting myself like this was actually no protection at all.
I trained to be an aromatherapist 18 years ago after returning to the UK from living abroad, where I was working as a dance teacher. I’ve always enjoyed caring for people, so this seemed a natural progression. Physical and bodywork therapies, such as massage, have always been important to me, and I enjoyed giving massages to family and friends. My hands are sensitive, with an inbuilt radar, knowing exactly where to go to find areas of tension in the body.
In those days the techniques I learnt were all designed to go as deep as possible e.g. deep tissue massage, Shiatsu etc, using elbows and very strong, hard pressure, with the intent to bring relief, but this sometimes made clients wince, and also caused some pain in my own arms and shoulders. This was put up with by both myself and the client, as there was the belief that it was doing good. I now understand that these types of intense bodywork are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.
Life for me then mirrored my work, which was far from a gentle pace or quality of being. As many people recognise, life can be hectic and busy as we rush to fit as much as possible into the day. Stress, a lack of true nutrition and fresh air, together with insufficient water and late nights, all took their toll on my health and well-being.
I was not present with myself, living more in my head than my body, and lacking confidence. I had low vitality with numerous low grade health niggles and I often felt tired – exhausted even. If I had known then what I know now, life would have been very different and much more joyful.
It was only after I came across the teachings of Universal Medicine, as presented by Serge Benhayon, that I discovered a new way to live that I had never come across before. It was revolutionary to discover simple self-care techniques, such as the Gentle Breath Meditation™, and several esoteric healing modalities, including Esoteric Massage – a beautiful massage that is completely gentle, but offering powerful healing.
I also learnt ways to live that were not taught at school, nor anywhere else in my life. I could write a whole blog on each one, but in summary, these points really supported me and continue to be a work in progress:
• Observing life and not absorbing it by not taking on board the external stuff.
• Taking more responsibility for myself, not blaming others, not being a victim / martyr or taking things personally.
• Learning to respond, rather than react, to situations and people.
• Breathing my own gentle breath.
• Not giving my power away – remaining strong within me.
• Staying connected to myself consistently through being aware of my body.
• Being gentle with myself and others.
• Understanding from Serge Benhayon “Expression is Everything”, so I’m now learning to express how I am feeling.
• Learning to be the true me, knowing that everything I need is already there inside me.
Leading on from this was my learning about relationships, particularly the relationship I had ignored in the past, the one with myself…
The key to this new, gentler way of living for me was becoming more aware of my body and actually listening to the deep, inner guidance that lives within me. Living more from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. It was about developing a trust in myself and in my own inner wisdom. I learnt that at the core of our inner being, in our inner hearts, is our essence, which cannot be tarnished by anything outside ourselves. This is something everyone has and can tap into.
The modality that really supported me in this was Esoteric Yoga. At first I found it very uncomfortable to feel what my body was communicating with its various signs and symptoms. For example, when I was lying still during an Esoteric Yoga session, my legs would be feeling restless and irritated. I thought I was living well, being very health conscious, but there was a deeper energetic level to health that I had ignored. Something simple – like opening and closing a door gently or not – took on a new meaning. It indicated how present and connected I was with myself and to my body. After a period of time, the uncomfortable feelings became less as I became more aware of how I was living and started listening more to my body. My Esoteric Yoga sessions reflected this back to me, almost like a biofeedback system.
It was amazing to feel the delicateness in my body, similar to a beautiful rose with a deep, inner strength and grace. Being connected to this quality of gentleness makes life flow so much more easily.
I have now transformed the way I work completely. I no longer practise my old therapies. I now offer Sacred Esoteric Healing including the beautiful Energetic Facial release – a favourite of mine. My massage work is no longer hard work, but a joy with a lighter touch, which transforms issues rather than burying them, and I no longer have aching shoulders after doing a massage.
Receiving Esoteric massage has helped me to develop more awareness, so that instead of ‘checking out’ or going to sleep during the treatment, I can feel my whole body and focus on releasing any tension that is there. Surrendering to my true, inner delicateness feels very natural.
Body awareness and delicateness are my true strengths now. My body shouts loudly and clearly if something is not right. By honouring my body, by listening, I have much more energy, vitality and well-being. I am appreciating how I no longer need to walk around protected with my body, which used to feel like an old fashioned corset laced tightly around my chest.
I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to this quality of delicateness, which is strong and powerful, like a graceful flower blossoming. The strength of being in my delicate essence affects everyone around me in a most beautiful way.
By Sue Goodson, 63 years old, Massage practitioner, wife & mother, Lightwater, Surrey, England