Discovering my True Strength being the Delicate Woman I am 

All through my life until recently, I equated my true nature of being delicate as somewhat of a liability, a weakness, certainly not the strength I now know it to be. I hardened up as a supposed shield to protect myself in life. I later discovered that protecting myself like this was actually no protection at all.

I trained to be an aromatherapist 18 years ago after returning to the UK from living abroad, where I was working as a dance teacher. I’ve always enjoyed caring for people, so this seemed a natural progression. Physical and bodywork therapies, such as massage, have always been important to me, and I enjoyed giving massages to family and friends. My hands are sensitive, with an inbuilt radar, knowing exactly where to go to find areas of tension in the body.

In those days the techniques I learnt were all designed to go as deep as possible e.g. deep tissue massage, Shiatsu etc, using elbows and very strong, hard pressure, with the intent to bring relief, but this sometimes made clients wince, and also caused some pain in my own arms and shoulders. This was put up with by both myself and the client, as there was the belief that it was doing good. I now understand that these types of intense bodywork are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.

Life for me then mirrored my work, which was far from a gentle pace or quality of being. As many people recognise, life can be hectic and busy as we rush to fit as much as possible into the day. Stress, a lack of true nutrition and fresh air, together with insufficient water and late nights, all took their toll on my health and well-being.

I was not present with myself, living more in my head than my body, and lacking confidence. I had low vitality with numerous low grade health niggles and I often felt tired – exhausted even. If I had known then what I know now, life would have been very different and much more joyful.

It was only after I came across the teachings of Universal Medicine, as presented by Serge Benhayon, that I discovered a new way to live that I had never come across before. It was revolutionary to discover simple self-care techniques, such as the Gentle Breath Meditation™, and several esoteric healing modalities, including Esoteric Massagea beautiful massage that is completely gentle, but offering powerful healing.

I also learnt ways to live that were not taught at school, nor anywhere else in my life. I could write a whole blog on each one, but in summary, these points really supported me and continue to be a work in progress:

Observing life and not absorbing it by not taking on board the external stuff.

Taking more responsibility for myself, not blaming others, not being a victim / martyr or taking things personally.

Learning to respond, rather than react, to situations and people.

Breathing my own gentle breath.

Not giving my power away – remaining strong within me.

Staying connected to myself consistently through being aware of my body.

Being gentle with myself and others.

• Understanding from Serge Benhayon “Expression is Everything”, so I’m now learning to express how I am feeling.

Learning to be the true me, knowing that everything I need is already there inside me.

Leading on from this was my learning about relationships, particularly the relationship I had ignored in the past, the one with myself…

The key to this new, gentler way of living for me was becoming more aware of my body and actually listening to the deep, inner guidance that lives within me. Living more from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. It was about developing a trust in myself and in my own inner wisdom. I learnt that at the core of our inner being, in our inner hearts, is our essence, which cannot be tarnished by anything outside ourselves. This is something everyone has and can tap into.

The modality that really supported me in this was Esoteric Yoga. At first I found it very uncomfortable to feel what my body was communicating with its various signs and symptoms. For example, when I was lying still during an Esoteric Yoga session, my legs would be feeling restless and irritated. I thought I was living well, being very health conscious, but there was a deeper energetic level to health that I had ignored. Something simple – like opening and closing a door gently or not – took on a new meaning. It indicated how present and connected I was with myself and to my body. After a period of time, the uncomfortable feelings became less as I became more aware of how I was living and started listening more to my body. My Esoteric Yoga sessions reflected this back to me, almost like a biofeedback system.

It was amazing to feel the delicateness in my body, similar to a beautiful rose with a deep, inner strength and grace. Being connected to this quality of gentleness makes life flow so much more easily.

I have now transformed the way I work completely. I no longer practise my old therapies. I now offer Sacred Esoteric Healing including the beautiful Energetic Facial release – a favourite of mine. My massage work is no longer hard work, but a joy with a lighter touch, which transforms issues rather than burying them, and I no longer have aching shoulders after doing a massage.

Sue Goodson at age 62
Sue Goodson – Age 62

Receiving Esoteric massage has helped me to develop more awareness, so that instead of ‘checking out’ or going to sleep during the treatment, I can feel my whole body and focus on releasing any tension that is there. Surrendering to my true, inner delicateness feels very natural.

Body awareness and delicateness are my true strengths now. My body shouts loudly and clearly if something is not right. By honouring my body, by listening, I have much more energy, vitality and well-being. I am appreciating how I no longer need to walk around protected with my body, which used to feel like an old fashioned corset laced tightly around my chest.

I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to this quality of delicateness, which is strong and powerful, like a graceful flower blossoming. The strength of being in my delicate essence affects everyone around me in a most beautiful way.

By Sue Goodson, 63 years old, Massage practitioner, wife & mother, Lightwater, Surrey, England

Related Reading:
Esoteric Yoga: The Yoga of Stillness
The Gentle Breath Meditation™ & Discovering my Inner Self
Trusting and Expressing From My Essence

802 thoughts on “Discovering my True Strength being the Delicate Woman I am 

  1. We are taught to look to the outside world for answers to our concerns and problems, this is a deliberate attempt to keep us away from our inner knowing. When we become more aware of this inner guidance we transform our lives.

  2. Feels very nourishing and inspiring reading your experience Sue. When you shared about your delicate nature something ignites in me, my whole body say ‘yes, I’m that too’. Thanks for opening up to the most precious woman you are.

  3. Sometimes we need reflections outside of us to see what we are capable of, such as the care we would offer to a newborn baby, our child, or a person who we felt was in pain or nearing the end of their life. We will often bring more tenderness and care to those we deem more vulnerable and tell ourselves to get on with it being far more rough on ourselves than we would with another in a perceived ‘more vulnerable position.

  4. Until we consider our relationship with our bodies and question if the way we have been living is as gentle and tender as we could offer ourselves, then we may well miss out on a level of tenderness that our body craves.

    1. Lucy as I read your comment, I could feel within myself another layer of hardness, and can feel how I have used hardness as a suit of armour to battle against the injustices of the world. Your comment is a reminder to be gentler that there’s actually no need to fight I’m beginning to see that this is another set up to distract me from returning to the delicateness of the one soul.

  5. This belief that we have to be in pain to heal pain is riddled in areas of our lives that we don’t clock until we start listening to the stinking thinking that perpetuates the ‘pain is good for you’ belief.

  6. It’s really beautiful to read how you’ve developed your connection with yourself and discovered how powerful we are in our delicateness. I’ve been such a doer in life, it’s lovely to stop and feel the wisdom in being open to what our body is communicating to us and move from this quality.

      1. I like this definition Alexis. I know when I am doing without quality, my body hardens and I stop appreciating myself – a definite hammering that I give myself!

  7. This just shows how important it is to truly understand about energy, as when we ‘think’ we are helping another or making things ‘better’, we could actually be completely imposing and making things worse! ‘I now understand that these types of intense bodywork are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.’ I have searched many differences, places and areas to find the truth with regards to energy and healing, and I can without any shadow of a doubt, and wholeheartedly say that I have only found this with Universal Medicine.

    1. Yes to everything you say here. This week I’m realising how deep the ‘better’ goes and how toxic it is. No-one I have heard has ever spoken about this aside from Universal Medicine. Indeed bettering oneself is often praised when actually it undermines us. Dropping the trying to be better supports me to see how I am already everything.

  8. In the past I gave my power – what I now know as my natural inner strength – away so very often, usually without realising it, and in the process came to live much of my life in victim mode. Living, or should I say existing, as a victim became an ingrained pattern as I felt life was happening to me, and not because of me. To know that it is the choices I make in my life which build the foundation that supports me as I move through my days has made it so clear that I am no victim, but a very powerful and very delicate woman.

    1. Ingrid I don’t know that many women who use their natural inner strength and delicacy, instead they seem to be more like men and use hardness and aggression to get through life. I wonder what life would be like if we as women used our natural inner strength and gave ourselves permission to show just how sensitive and delicate we are.

  9. Fitting in as much as we can into a day is incredibly stressful for our body and undermines our well-being immensely.

  10. I would say that most people would not consider that the words ‘delicate’ and ‘strength’ belong in the same sentence, but you have certainly dispelled that belief. To come to know that there is indeed a strength in delicateness, is a really life-changing realisation, and when acknowledged and accepted, it feels so very natural to share that you are feeling delicate, knowing that in no way, are you being weak.

    1. There is such a sweetness in accepting your delicacy. By its very nature delicacy brings a lightness, a deep and profound warmth that just has to be nurtured, but it is a quality that is hard to describe. Having utterly rejected it as weak and then getting to a point where I could actually feel it again, but then to live with it as a natural and normal phenomena has taken some time and a lot of healing. I have found it to be one of the most powerful foundations in my expression and it is something I now treasure every day.

  11. I am amazed at how strong delicacy is – it is difficult to try and stomp on it because when a woman connects to that quality, nothing a person can say or do can bring her down.

  12. I certainly have been someone who has underestimated the power and strength of delicateness. The more I connect with my delicateness the more I feel its power.

  13. Like a delicate rose your beauty shines through. There is nothing more breath-taking than a woman who’s walking in connection to her essence, it’s in your eyes, it is in how content you are with yourself.

  14. It kind of makes sense that when there is no solid connection within that knows itself already, the outer makes the point of hardening up to know itself as a form,

  15. I also used to be a massage practitioner at one stage… Once I massaged half of the New Zealand all-black rugby team in a night… It was anything but delicate and gentle. You had to almost pirouette on your elbow for them to appreciate what you were doing… Even to notice you I guess 🙂

  16. We all have the opportunity to experience the delicateness of the body in everyday life. Simply applying two main components of Esoteric Yoga, presence with the body (i.e. feeling) and gentleness, instantly allows you to feel the delicateness and make you want to care for it (and yourself).

    1. I have definitely come to understand the power of delicateness through participating in Esoteric Yoga sessions. It is very hard to ignore the delicateness that is revealed when you make the choice to connect deeply with your body, and the deeper you connect, the more delicate you feel. After years of ignoring this most natural of qualities in my body, I now embrace it as I know that it is simply part of the beautiful landscape that is me.

      1. Ingrid, like you I have discovered delicateness though the Esoteric Yoga sessions. Just a simple movement of my legs, but within that movement was such tenderness and delicateness, it’s quite stunning what our bodies will reveal to us if we get ourselves out of the way and allow it’s communication. I had no idea that underneath the hard protective layers I had built up over the years there was such tenderness and delicateness to rediscover.

  17. Delicacy is a quality I would not have associated with myself. To re-discover there is strength in delicacy and this quality is innately within me waiting to be connected to, has been a revelation..

    1. I agree Kehinde, our touch is very telling of the current of energy running through us. Is it delicate and beautiful, or not ?

  18. “Breathing my own gentle breath” This simple technique alone practiced with dedication transforms lives. To breathe our own breath and not the breath of others, supports us to stay connected to ourselves, be observers of life and not absorb the emotions and dramas of others.

  19. If we look at our world today most of us are living from our heads, not present in our bodies at all. We lead very stressful lives which we have made ourselves by the choice of the collective. I really don’t understand how we have made life so stressful and it all seems to stem around the word ‘Profit’, everyone is talking about making a profit. We collectively have made a ‘profit’ monster that has an insatiable appetite and we are literally, in my opinion, killing ourselves to feed something we have all ourselves generated. This makes no sense to me at all.

  20. Sue, thank you for sharing, it is so true that real power is found in the connection with ourself. Being delicate and sensitive are the gateways to such true strength and power.

  21. Renouncing the “no pain no gain” axiom and allowing ourselves to feel delicacy and the power inherent in that is a great joy. It’s as if we have not allowed ourselves to connect with the more subtle feelings yet when we do we feel our own preciousness and deliciousness and begin to appreciate the beauty that lies beneath the hardness and the protection.

  22. In my experience too being more aware of my body and of my sensitivity, has actually helped me to reconnect with the wisdom within me too and with this awareness comes a true strength.

  23. What I love about what you describe Sue is the simplicity: no dramatic changes but simple choices to listen more to your body and be guided by that instead of your head and mind. The mind and all of our preconceived ideas about how things ‘should’ be can sometimes appear really hard to let go of – but that is part of the trick of the mind; we ‘think’ that things are fixed, that that’s who we are and it’s impossible to change. Our essence within remains the same, untarnished, but the external layers we put in the way of that essence are impermanent and can definitely be let go of. They actually start to drop away by themselves when we start loving ourselves more.

  24. “Esoteric Massage – a beautiful massage that is completely gentle, but offering powerful healing” It is beautiful to appreciate the power of gentleness and delicateness..

  25. ‘Surrendering to my true, inner delicateness feels very natural.’ Why do we learn from young that being delicate and precious is weak? Is it because our quality in this is actually very powerful, and that we are unstoppable in bringing our power to the world which cannot be denied by anyone really.

    1. Agreed Annelies, it is taught to us by every part of society and yet is is the thing we later realise we all miss and when we see true delicateness in anyone it makes one ‘melt’.

    2. The Livingness of God is the only true power on Earth and reconnecting to our innate delicate nature helps us to re-connect to the internal and eternal Livingness of God.

  26. “I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to this quality of delicateness, which is strong and powerful, like a graceful flower blossoming.” 10 years ago I would never have put true power and delicateness in the same sentence, they were like opposite ends of the spectrum for me. The power and delicateness you talk about Sue is something I now know for myself and is nothing like the what I used to think it was. The power is felt in the body and not the mind and the delicateness is in the way we move, touch and hold things, the tone of our voice, it is a whole body experience.

  27. What a powerful transforming from such hard and contracted way of work and doing to such gentle, ease and powerful way of working. I too have experienced the Esoteric Massage modality and it is so profound, the movements are so tender that it allows you to actually become more still in the body and truly surrender to an ease in your own body that allows you to be your absolute self. That to me I have never ever experienced in this life before anywhere in this world.

  28. Delicateness is true strength sort of reminds me of a spider’s silk thread which is super fine and delicate but is the strongest material on the planet. You would never think that to look at it!

  29. ‘I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to this quality of delicateness, which is strong and powerful, like a graceful flower blossoming. ‘ This is very beautiful. I have lived so hardened all my life, growing up I was ready for a fight! Now I’m moving away from being hard and am opening up to appreciating fragility is something so exquisitely precious that doesn’t need an armoury of protection around it.

  30. I observe too that we are as a society way more tolerating of aches and pains, like you shared with the deep massage that left your arms and the patient sore, than we are committed to being delicate and gentle in our every move.

  31. What a gift we are to humanity when we connect to our essence and live in this true way, thank you for sharing your gorgeous journey Sue.

  32. It is a true strength, the ability to hold our delicateness and remain tender in whatever environment we find ourselves. Life doesn’t teach us to be this way, but through surrendering and living in connection with our bodies we absolutely can walk through life this way.

      1. I love your pearls of wisdom Alexis, always so insightful with meaning that goes far beyond the simple words you have chosen.

  33. Connecting to our sensitivity and letting go of those layers of protection is an ever unfolding process, where each time we can feel when we brace our body in the old ways of protection.

  34. ‘I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to the quality delicateness, which is strong and powerful…’ I loved this statement and it says it all about who we can become.

  35. A beautiful call to us letting us know that there is a true strength within us that we need to re-discover and deeply live. Letting go of that which no longer works for you. And going ‘saying yes’ to that which we know is true.

  36. Sue this sharing is so simple yet so powerful. I could also relate to the protection and the hardness many women carry, including me once upon a time.

    I particularly loved the points you listed, they are simple, powerful and very relatible and a great reference point to refer to.

    I still to this day recall family members thinking hard massages are the way forward to relieving the body and yet to accept the responsibility on their part of the discomfort or pain in their body.

    A beautiful sharing.

  37. Delicateness is such a beautiful quality that we all have but often hide from others, which leaves us all poorer.

    1. It’s had a bad rap delicateness and fragility it’s a total set up as it is not weak but where our true power lies.

  38. ‘I now understand that these types of intense bodywork treatments are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.’ And how can a treatment be true when you as a practitioner have aching shoulders when you end the massage. I had the same with treating peoples feet with reflexology, my thumb started to ache by pressing too hard. Now I just use a gentle massage being very delicate with in myself.

  39. When we realise that vulnerability can at times be fragility and fragility allows awareness and then power to flourish we can become aware of our potential and act on it.

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