All through my life until recently, I equated my true nature of being delicate as somewhat of a liability, a weakness, certainly not the strength I now know it to be. I hardened up as a supposed shield to protect myself in life. I later discovered that protecting myself like this was actually no protection at all.
I trained to be an aromatherapist 18 years ago after returning to the UK from living abroad, where I was working as a dance teacher. I’ve always enjoyed caring for people, so this seemed a natural progression. Physical and bodywork therapies, such as massage, have always been important to me, and I enjoyed giving massages to family and friends. My hands are sensitive, with an inbuilt radar, knowing exactly where to go to find areas of tension in the body.
In those days the techniques I learnt were all designed to go as deep as possible e.g. deep tissue massage, Shiatsu etc, using elbows and very strong, hard pressure, with the intent to bring relief, but this sometimes made clients wince, and also caused some pain in my own arms and shoulders. This was put up with by both myself and the client, as there was the belief that it was doing good. I now understand that these types of intense bodywork are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.
Life for me then mirrored my work, which was far from a gentle pace or quality of being. As many people recognise, life can be hectic and busy as we rush to fit as much as possible into the day. Stress, a lack of true nutrition and fresh air, together with insufficient water and late nights, all took their toll on my health and well-being.
I was not present with myself, living more in my head than my body, and lacking confidence. I had low vitality with numerous low grade health niggles and I often felt tired – exhausted even. If I had known then what I know now, life would have been very different and much more joyful.
It was only after I came across the teachings of Universal Medicine, as presented by Serge Benhayon, that I discovered a new way to live that I had never come across before. It was revolutionary to discover simple self-care techniques, such as the Gentle Breath Meditation™, and several esoteric healing modalities, including Esoteric Massage – a beautiful massage that is completely gentle, but offering powerful healing.
I also learnt ways to live that were not taught at school, nor anywhere else in my life. I could write a whole blog on each one, but in summary, these points really supported me and continue to be a work in progress:
• Observing life and not absorbing it by not taking on board the external stuff.
• Taking more responsibility for myself, not blaming others, not being a victim / martyr or taking things personally.
• Learning to respond, rather than react, to situations and people.
• Breathing my own gentle breath.
• Not giving my power away – remaining strong within me.
• Staying connected to myself consistently through being aware of my body.
• Being gentle with myself and others.
• Understanding from Serge Benhayon “Expression is Everything”, so I’m now learning to express how I am feeling.
• Learning to be the true me, knowing that everything I need is already there inside me.
Leading on from this was my learning about relationships, particularly the relationship I had ignored in the past, the one with myself…
The key to this new, gentler way of living for me was becoming more aware of my body and actually listening to the deep, inner guidance that lives within me. Living more from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. It was about developing a trust in myself and in my own inner wisdom. I learnt that at the core of our inner being, in our inner hearts, is our essence, which cannot be tarnished by anything outside ourselves. This is something everyone has and can tap into.
The modality that really supported me in this was Esoteric Yoga. At first I found it very uncomfortable to feel what my body was communicating with its various signs and symptoms. For example, when I was lying still during an Esoteric Yoga session, my legs would be feeling restless and irritated. I thought I was living well, being very health conscious, but there was a deeper energetic level to health that I had ignored. Something simple – like opening and closing a door gently or not – took on a new meaning. It indicated how present and connected I was with myself and to my body. After a period of time, the uncomfortable feelings became less as I became more aware of how I was living and started listening more to my body. My Esoteric Yoga sessions reflected this back to me, almost like a biofeedback system.
It was amazing to feel the delicateness in my body, similar to a beautiful rose with a deep, inner strength and grace. Being connected to this quality of gentleness makes life flow so much more easily.
I have now transformed the way I work completely. I no longer practise my old therapies. I now offer Sacred Esoteric Healing including the beautiful Energetic Facial release – a favourite of mine. My massage work is no longer hard work, but a joy with a lighter touch, which transforms issues rather than burying them, and I no longer have aching shoulders after doing a massage.
Receiving Esoteric massage has helped me to develop more awareness, so that instead of ‘checking out’ or going to sleep during the treatment, I can feel my whole body and focus on releasing any tension that is there. Surrendering to my true, inner delicateness feels very natural.
Body awareness and delicateness are my true strengths now. My body shouts loudly and clearly if something is not right. By honouring my body, by listening, I have much more energy, vitality and well-being. I am appreciating how I no longer need to walk around protected with my body, which used to feel like an old fashioned corset laced tightly around my chest.
I now know that my true power is found in the connection to myself, to this quality of delicateness, which is strong and powerful, like a graceful flower blossoming. The strength of being in my delicate essence affects everyone around me in a most beautiful way.
By Sue Goodson, 63 years old, Massage practitioner, wife & mother, Lightwater, Surrey, England
Related Reading:
Esoteric Yoga: The Yoga of Stillness
The Gentle Breath Meditation™ & Discovering my Inner Self
Trusting and Expressing From My Essence
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Sue shares some really pertinent and valuable points in this blog, like staying observing life, and responding to life, ‘Learning to respond, rather than react, to situations and people.’
We are taught to look to the outside world for answers to our concerns and problems, this is a deliberate attempt to keep us away from our inner knowing. When we become more aware of this inner guidance we transform our lives.
We have so much wisdom inside, just waiting for us to connect with, ‘The key to this new, gentler way of living for me was becoming more aware of my body and actually listening to the deep, inner guidance that lives within me. Living more from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. It was about developing a trust in myself and in my own inner wisdom.’ Beautiful Sue.
Once we re-connect with our natural way of being – that is deeply tender, caring and never imposing – we can truly offer a support that heals and not harms.
Feels very nourishing and inspiring reading your experience Sue. When you shared about your delicate nature something ignites in me, my whole body say ‘yes, I’m that too’. Thanks for opening up to the most precious woman you are.
Sometimes we need reflections outside of us to see what we are capable of, such as the care we would offer to a newborn baby, our child, or a person who we felt was in pain or nearing the end of their life. We will often bring more tenderness and care to those we deem more vulnerable and tell ourselves to get on with it being far more rough on ourselves than we would with another in a perceived ‘more vulnerable position.
Until we consider our relationship with our bodies and question if the way we have been living is as gentle and tender as we could offer ourselves, then we may well miss out on a level of tenderness that our body craves.
Lucy as I read your comment, I could feel within myself another layer of hardness, and can feel how I have used hardness as a suit of armour to battle against the injustices of the world. Your comment is a reminder to be gentler that there’s actually no need to fight I’m beginning to see that this is another set up to distract me from returning to the delicateness of the one soul.
This belief that we have to be in pain to heal pain is riddled in areas of our lives that we don’t clock until we start listening to the stinking thinking that perpetuates the ‘pain is good for you’ belief.
It’s really beautiful to read how you’ve developed your connection with yourself and discovered how powerful we are in our delicateness. I’ve been such a doer in life, it’s lovely to stop and feel the wisdom in being open to what our body is communicating to us and move from this quality.
We tend to think of doing as being a forwards movement but it’s not. When our doing lacks quality then it’s a hammering up and down on the spot.
I like this definition Alexis. I know when I am doing without quality, my body hardens and I stop appreciating myself – a definite hammering that I give myself!
This just shows how important it is to truly understand about energy, as when we ‘think’ we are helping another or making things ‘better’, we could actually be completely imposing and making things worse! ‘I now understand that these types of intense bodywork are crucially burying the issues that cause the tensions more deeply into the body.’ I have searched many differences, places and areas to find the truth with regards to energy and healing, and I can without any shadow of a doubt, and wholeheartedly say that I have only found this with Universal Medicine.
Yes to everything you say here. This week I’m realising how deep the ‘better’ goes and how toxic it is. No-one I have heard has ever spoken about this aside from Universal Medicine. Indeed bettering oneself is often praised when actually it undermines us. Dropping the trying to be better supports me to see how I am already everything.
I back what you say Vicky, Universal Medicine and the modalities it teaches are the only way to bring back truth, integrity, and true healing to our bodies.
In the past I gave my power – what I now know as my natural inner strength – away so very often, usually without realising it, and in the process came to live much of my life in victim mode. Living, or should I say existing, as a victim became an ingrained pattern as I felt life was happening to me, and not because of me. To know that it is the choices I make in my life which build the foundation that supports me as I move through my days has made it so clear that I am no victim, but a very powerful and very delicate woman.
Ingrid I don’t know that many women who use their natural inner strength and delicacy, instead they seem to be more like men and use hardness and aggression to get through life. I wonder what life would be like if we as women used our natural inner strength and gave ourselves permission to show just how sensitive and delicate we are.
Many of us women followed role models, like our mothers, and so followed the model of victimhood, became protected, and disconnected from our inner wisdom and delicateness. Thank God that Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon came into our lives to remind us of who we are in truth.
Fitting in as much as we can into a day is incredibly stressful for our body and undermines our well-being immensely.
I would say that most people would not consider that the words ‘delicate’ and ‘strength’ belong in the same sentence, but you have certainly dispelled that belief. To come to know that there is indeed a strength in delicateness, is a really life-changing realisation, and when acknowledged and accepted, it feels so very natural to share that you are feeling delicate, knowing that in no way, are you being weak.
There is such a sweetness in accepting your delicacy. By its very nature delicacy brings a lightness, a deep and profound warmth that just has to be nurtured, but it is a quality that is hard to describe. Having utterly rejected it as weak and then getting to a point where I could actually feel it again, but then to live with it as a natural and normal phenomena has taken some time and a lot of healing. I have found it to be one of the most powerful foundations in my expression and it is something I now treasure every day.
Allowing our delicacy back into our lives is very beautiful, and highlights how completely we have let ourselves be sabotaged.
His crazy it is that people give massages and put thier own bodies at risk of pain and difficulty.
I am amazed at how strong delicacy is – it is difficult to try and stomp on it because when a woman connects to that quality, nothing a person can say or do can bring her down.
Delicacy does have strength, and power.