Parenting Our Children

I am married to an incredible, beautiful tender man, with 3 amazing beautiful children that I am forever appreciative of. What we share as a family reflects to me the importance of expression and communication, for what we share is a result of us all feeling supported in a space where we can share what we feel without holding onto or bottling things up, where we are able to work on not judging each other and on exposing any ideals or beliefs around how we think a true family should be or look.

Universal Medicine has played a huge role in my life: I have been attending Universal Medicine presentations, courses, retreats and having sessions with Esoteric Practitioner Association approved Practitioners, including Serge Benhayon, for 17 years.

Serge Benhayon (Founder of Universal Medicine) leaning against a fence
Serge Benhayon | Founder of Universal Medicine

During that 17 years my life has changed enormously: I have gone from drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, smoking marijuana, being extremely ill, having absolutely no vitality and being majorly underweight to being and feeling alive, vital, healthy, no longer moody or needing any form of stimulant to get me through the day. My weight has been stable for the past few years, I wake up looking forward to the day, eating in a way that truly supports me – not eating to hide or dull myself – and it has been all of this which has enabled me to parent my children in a way that offers true support. I know that without the changes and choices I have made and continue to make for myself, my parenting would be extremely different and certainly not as loving as what it is today.

My life was previously one of constant chaos and overwhelm, mostly due to, actually all due to, the choices I was making, however today my life is completely the opposite of that, in which I take responsibility for each and every choice that impacts on my health and well-being and all my relationships. As stated, Serge Benhayon and his family, together with Universal Medicine and its presentations and practitioners, have been a huge part of how I am now­, and without what was offered to me I do not feel I would be the woman or parent that I am today. The changes in my own life and how I now live with this deep sense of regard for myself have allowed me to bring a deeper regard to my whole family, including how I parent my three children.

I felt moved to write this appreciation of our family and how we live when I became aware that Esther Rockett, as part of her ongoing hate campaign waged against Serge Benhayon and anyone associated with him and Universal Medicine, has written online blogs and disseminated materials making various poisonous suggestions that children who are growing up in families with parents who are associated with Universal Medicine are in danger and are “deprived of nurturing and responsible parenting in the name of ‘healing’ and ‘self-love’.”

How my husband and myself parent our children is loving, nurturing and with understanding. We are not perfect and neither are our children, however they are deeply loved and it is because of the love we hold ourselves in and correspondingly the love we are then able to hold them in, that we are choosing to raise them in the way we do. The love we all share as a family (and with others) has grown immeasurably as a result of how our love has deepened from all we have learnt through Universal Medicine.

We made the choice to parent our children as opposed to raising them; to parent them in a way that truly encourages them to live all that they are without the ideals and beliefs of how we think they or their lives should be; to understand that we do not own our children and that we are simply custodians of them, sharing with them a way of life that is true.

For us a big part of living a life that is true is to support the body to be light – not feel weighed down, bloated, imposed upon by outside stimulants or distractions – consistently feeling what is needed next, establishing and building routines and rhythms that encourage us to feel and care for our own bodies, whether that may be what time we go to bed, the types of foods we eat, the hobbies we may have, and being open to share and express what we are feeling.

Neither my partner nor myself eat dairy, gluten, wheat, yeast or sugar, nor do we use any stimulants like caffeine. Our diet has refined over the years as we have individually felt to, each at different times omitting different foods and introducing others: for our children it has been no different, now being that we all eat the same foods. None of our children have ever been fed dairy, gluten, wheat, yeast or sugar, a choice we made after making adjustments to our own diets and feeling the benefits and true vitality that came from not eating foods that contain these ingredients.

At no time have our children been malnourished, underweight or overweight; they are the weight their body needs for them to be themselves in life, to live who they are without feeling stimulated, anxious or overwhelmed from foods they may have consumed. Therefore, because of the choices we have made for ourselves and for them, they are not seeking stimulation or comfort in food; they are not standing in front of the refrigerator or pantry looking for something to fill an emptiness or void within them, they are not wanting to snack constantly throughout the day, neither are they seeking comfort in distractions outside of themselves such as television, iPads or computers. We use computers and iPads for educational purposes rather than as a tool for babysitting, or a way for them to avoid, bury or hide from what they may be feeling or what is going on around them.

3 young children smiling as they all look ahead laying on a trampoline
Nicole Serafin’s children

Making the choice to parent our children has been a constant, forever unfolding path, one that we are always adjusting and discussing as a family. We make choices that consider us all as a whole, and the foods we eat, the hobbies and distractions we may choose – no matter how insignificant we feel them to be – have an impact on the entire home and everyone in it. The way we live in our home does not just affect us, but affects everyone around us – both directly and indirectly in the home and outside of our home – and when we step out of our front door we take these choices and our way of life to all of humanity: it is this responsibility we have to consider when we are parenting our children.

Our children are an absolute pleasure to have, be around and parent; we are offered an opportunity to forever observe what they need, where they need support and what we can do to encourage them in their own evolution.

As a family we live in a quality and a way that consistently reflects to each other that there is always more, that there are always others that are affected and impacted by the way we live, and that we all have a responsibility to live in a way that is true and considers everyone equally also.

With this choice there is no time off, there is no self, life is not just about you, everything you do and say has a knock-on effect, it affects the all.

Life for our children is about living, enjoying and loving who they are, knowing it is ok for them to be who they are, to express what they feel without holding back in any way, learning how to be themselves and to nurture and love others, without judgement, criticism or comparison. They love to play, laugh, sing, dance, connect with others and be in nature. Our children are all born gentle, loving, tender and precious, and why should any of that change as they begin to grow and become young adults? All children should be supported to love, honour, appreciate and accept themselves for the incredible gentle beings they are.

Our children have their moments as do any of us; no one is perfect, nor do we expect them to be, but we do provide boundaries and consistency, and in the love they feel it does not take much for them to come back to themselves and leave their tantrums behind.

The way we choose to parent our children I know for many raises eyebrows, but with that comes an understanding and an appreciation; others get to know us and our children, and from that they gain a greater awareness of the love and quality in which we live and the love and quality in which we parent our children.

Yes, our children eat a diet that may seem limited to outside observers, but it is limited to healthy and nutritious foods – with no junk food – and our children thrive. Yes, they do not watch television or sit for hours aimlessly in front of a computer or on an iPad, and yes they have routines and rhythms; they have conversations with us about what they are feeling, and we have family meetings to share what we feel is needed next for the family as a whole, what is supportive and what is not. What can be observed is that they are some of the most joy-full children I have ever seen, and this is not limited to my personal experience but from what is shared with me from teachers at their school, day care, friends’ parents and passers-by in shops and supermarkets.

I am so very blessed to have such a joy-full glorious, amazingly loving family, a family that is deepening and developing in so many ways.

Nicole Serafin sitting on the couch laughing and being playful with her partner and 3 children
Nicole Serafin and Familly

Our children are forever a point of reflection, and they are always teaching and calling for me to live all that I am, and in that livingness they can also live all that they are.

So, call Universal Medicine whatever you like, I know in my heart The Way of The Livingness is the only way, and our family lives, breathes and is True Religion.

Serge Benhayon, thank you for being the ever-shining reflection and love that you are; it is with this reflection and inspiration in my life that I love and am all that I am.

By Nicole Serafin, 44 yrs, Wife, Mother Hairdresser, Tintenbar NSW

Related Reading:
~ Building True Relationships and Positive Parenting
~ The Purpose of Parenting
~ Esther Rockett is no Expert on Universal Medicine – A True Family Story about Universal Medicine and Parenting

553 thoughts on “Parenting Our Children

  1. Nicole, this is really beautiful and helpful to read, ‘what we share is a result of us all feeling supported in a space where we can share what we feel without holding onto or bottling things up, where we are able to work on not judging each other’, I can feel reading this the importance of not bottling things up – that things are talked about and dealt with, it feels gorgeous that you offer this understanding and love for each other in this way. You are all amazing role models.

    1. I agree, the bottling up seems so prevalent in families. We need to make more space and time for true expression to be a priority.

  2. “We made the choice to parent our children as opposed to raising them; to parent them in a way that truly encourages them to live all that they are without the ideals and beliefs of how we think they or their lives should be. ” To be able to make a choice like this and stick to it is a true blessing. Your children will grow up feeling deeply supported and loved and confident to be in this crazy, upside down world. You’ve given them an incredible head start. Thank God for Universal Medicine.

  3. ‘Life for our children is about living, enjoying and loving who they are, knowing it is ok for them to be who they are, to express what they feel without holding back in any way, learning how to be themselves and to nurture and love others, without judgement, criticism or comparison.’ This encapsulates everything for me, children with these qualities grow into adults with these same qualities and the more there are the more harmony we have in our world.

  4. The fact it is all choices is humbling and exposing. What is beautiful is when we align to loving choices the ease that unfolds in my body is so beautiful and lovely I wonder why on earth I have fought so long to deny myself what is so easily available.

  5. ‘Our children are forever a point of reflection, and they are always teaching and calling for me to live all that I am, and in that livingness they can also live all that they are.’ This is a beautiful way to be with our immediate family, which can extend to our friends, colleagues and neighbours…we can always have a point of reflection from others and do so in return, so that we may live the all of who we are.

  6. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has presented and shown by example so much useful information on taking more care of myself and how simple and effective it can be and I am in no doubt that my wife and my children have benefited enormously from having a more stable, consistent, vital, joyful father and husband and I know that they would say the same thing if asked.

  7. Gorgeous. It is said pictures say a thousands words and the photos of your family here speak volumes … it makes me want to pop round and be with you and the absolute joy and love your family clearly all are (not that easy as I live in the UK!). As you have said no one is perfect but we can choose to live all that we truly are which is what I can see you are supporting your family to do, as well as living for yourself. With regards to ‘The way we choose to parent our children I know for many raises eyebrows’, perhaps instead of judging others (which is easy) we should first look to ourselves and how we are doing and living (not so easy), but who are we to judge another? Thank you for standing for the truth and claiming the love you live.

  8. I have been learning a lot about what true family is and certainly recognize that simply having the same surname does not constitute a family. What we have tolerated and called family has allowed for so much abuse to go on. Nowhere is there more abuse, more crushing of a human being than in most families. This blog is a great example of how families can work to evolve each other rather than what usually goes on in them. We need role models like this of true family.

  9. “Our children are forever a point of reflection, and they are always teaching and calling for me to live all that I am, and in that livingness they can also live all that they are.” The true power of love and the living reflection it offers. Thank you Nicole.

  10. This is an amazing testimony to the power of the Ageless Wisdom to totally transform our lives from misery to joy . . . and a testimony to all those who have made the choice to move out of the misery and illusion of the world and lead the way back home. Beautiful to hear of how this operates in a family Nicole.

  11. It is great that there are some people in this world actually parenting their children and not leaving it up to schools as they are too busy or haven’t connected the bringing up of children with responsibility. Having family meetings on a regular basis is an essential tool in keeping the family connected and and the responsibility of each family member on an even keel.

  12. A beautiful appreciation of what Universal Medicine offers to us individually, that then streams and flows onto our family and friends.

  13. It’s so beautiful to read the responsibility with which you parent your children and the foundation of love you reflect to humanity.

  14. It is so important to stop and appreciate and confirm when we have chosen to make changes to our lives and the changes that this makes to our quality of life and to everyone around us.

  15. Amazing to open up to the true support and appreciation of others, it releases us from the burden of believing we need to do it all by ourselves which is total illusion.

  16. Anyone who steps outside the norm by raising their standards of self awareness and living in general will always ..’shake the tree’…. You are certainly doing a lot of shaking there Nicole …☺

  17. The most amazing thing about living the Ageless Wisdom is that it isn’t about adopting a new teaching or a new way of life, it is about returning to who we already are, and clearing the falseness of what we have taken on. Beautiful sharing Nicole.

  18. Beautiful Nicole, what is clear in your sharing here is the more responsibility we choose to take, the less room there is for indulgence, anger, blame and hate. The thing is there is no time for this any day, it’s just having children and a family highlights the impact in such a stark way. Our traditional technique to deal with this has been to remove ourselves or hide our head in the sand and continue on the irresponsible way we always have. You show us here this definitely does not work, but just prolongs the abuse.

  19. The presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are the most beautiful reminder that we all deserve true care, delicate understanding, nurturing and full appreciation. These aren’t things we deliver when someone is just a kid, but a life long dedication to ourselves and everyone we meet. Growing up is not a end of this because you’ve ‘got your lot’ but a depenening in every sense we have. Brilliantly said Nicole. Once we open up to this it feels awful to ever be hard on or with ourselves.

  20. Parenting is for everyone, not just those who have children, we all hold a responsibility to parent ourselves also, to bring love to ourselves that then may shine for all to remember they too are of that same love. We are all role models – so what reflection will we choose to bring?

  21. I can feel from reading your blog the deep honouring and caring that you bring to parenting. This is so lovely to read as I see more and more parents too tired and exhausted to really be with their kids. You are raising the kids while others just let them grow up. Kids need to be raised as this sets a true foundation for life.

    1. Hmmm. Well said, Elizabeth. Is our current parenting a classic case of short term relief and following a path of least resistance, without consideration for the long term consequences as we look at ever decreasing levels of responsibly and social collaboration.

  22. It is fantastic when parents get in there and raise their children, as many try to do but with their own exhaustion and other issues can find themselves using the television or internet to ‘take care of’ their children at least some of the time…but what are we exposing them to, is it innocent or are they being bombarded from screens a lot more than we care to admit?

  23. ‘… to understand that we do not own our children and that we are simply custodians of them, sharing with them a way of life that is true.’ – A very important sharing Nicole and makes me appreciate the way I also understand how to parent. Universal Medicine has supported me to raise our child in a way where she understands consequences, where she is her own person and not owned by me. It is a very different but at the same time natural way to parent.

  24. It’s interesting how we can look functional on the outside but be or feel messy on the inside. I know I did for most of my life – until I implemented the common-sense suggestions for living I heard at Universal Medicine presentations. Today, 10 years on, I’m still listening, and refining how I live. So now, how I live supports to support others to do same: live clean and productive rather than messy and all over the shop.

  25. I love that you are talking about how you parent your children. Children need to be parented rather than just be allowed to grow up in the vague hope that they will turn out okay. Parenting requires consistency, commitment and responsibility.

  26. A celebration of Universal Medicine and the impact it has had on your lives; as a way of living, I am inspired by what it will look like when we all take this kind of care and responsibility for our lives.

  27. You live true family where children are parented and not just raised, where one snack or visit to the pantry does not follow another and where you don’t aimlessly spend hours on end in front of the television or stare at a tablet or other electronic device. It is a strange world indeed when this lifestyle and these choices are regarded as ‘out there’ or worthy of criticism or even condemnation. On which planet do these critics live?

  28. This is powerful Nicole, to understand that as parents we don’t own our children but are here merely as custodians to reflect them a way of being that allows them to make true choices in life that are more in line with who they truly are, and this is the most loving gift we can offer anyone as in truth there is nothing more powerful and precious than living our essence at any given time.

  29. Our children are parented with the quality we choose to live in as parents, and all that you have described Nicole, the way you live, are qualities that speak of pure love and equality. Something to aspire too.

  30. ‘All children should be supported to love, honour, appreciate and accept themselves for the incredible gentle beings they are.’

    Your blog is a wonderful testimony to being able to parent in a way that allows children to unfold naturally especially when the world is set up to do quite the opposite. Just one example is that today I watched a pop video of a pop star considered children friendly. But what I was watching was someone portraying herself as sexually desirable and this is what people are asking for. So where are we as a society when we do not celebrate ourselves for who we are, which, as adults, can be naturally sexy but in no way reduced to being objectified.

  31. “So, call Universal Medicine whatever you like, I know in my heart The Way of The Livingness is the only way, and our family lives, breathes and is True Religion.” You are an inspiration Nicole.

  32. I am forever amazed at the difference between the pictures that I hold of what a good parent should be and what is needed by my children. The pictures are based on so many beliefs and not at all responsive of the true needs of the child. Every year I have the opportunity to challenge what I have accepted as good parenting and deliver something completely different and in this I am discovering who I truly am rather than living a role that I imposed on myself.

  33. Learning to say ‘No’ in all areas of my life but especially in my relationship with my children is something I am becoming aware of. There are so many ideals and beliefs around parenting and pandering to my children’s needs and dishonouring the woman is certainly one belief I have taken on but I know in every movement I harm and abuse myself I harm and abuse them as it is impossible to love my children unless I am being loving with myself and this means learning to say ‘No’ instead of saying ‘Yes’.

  34. The Way of The Livingness does certainly raise eyebrows but I have yet to see and feel anything in this world that is so consistent, truthful and a truly joyfull way to live. Sucess redefined, its not about amount of possessions but in the quality in our everyday activities and interactions.

  35. It’s crazy how we have got to a point that we think we are wise, strong and ‘grown up’, yet so much of what we do is harmful, small minded and not true. Contrast this with the way children are so playful, uninhibited, simple and sensitive and you would have to question who exactly is teaching who. Thank you for this Nicole and for showing the amazing way children, left uninterferred with, have so much beauty and intelligence we can all be inspired by and share in.

  36. Parenting children as you say Nicole is about holding them and allowing them to grow and express in their own way and how supporting this can be, it not only brings great responsibility to the all but also negates the images and or beliefs that we have been accustomed to over our lives and begin anew. Thank you.

  37. Equality is a big thing when it comes to being with children – whether they are your own or not they need to be heard and treated as if they are all knowing and very wise as they in fact are.

  38. Our world so needs parents to parent their children. Not only that but all of the rest of society needs to parent children because it really does take a whole community to raise a child.

  39. The greatest thing I have learned form Serge Benhayon about family is that we can observe and not absorb, we can choose to not get caught up in the dynamics which characterise families – and this is how we be a true family member and friend.

  40. It is a sad indictment on our society and the way we choose to live when it has become the norm to crush our children by way of deadening foods and behaviours so they cannot express in full the truth of who they are and, when we make a move to arrest this ill momentum and support children to preserve the exquisite light and love we are each born with instead of calibrating their expression of this to ‘fit in’ with the waywardness of the world, we run the risk of being ridiculed for not conforming to the established way, no matter that what has been established is in no way supportive of the expression of our true and authentic selves.

  41. I truly appreciate all the sharings on understanding parenting children by Serge Benhayon. They have supported me to a deeper level of the responsibility and the practical way to hold children in their essence of who they are and not impose ideals and beliefs which come from un-dealt with hurts and issues that many carry from childhood, which tend to exacerbate as we grow into adults and face situations again that weren’t resolved the first time around.

  42. What you clearly live and have shared here Nicole is amazing, a true testament to the teachings presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. There is no question you and your family look the epitome of vitality and joy… true markers of health we need to be revisiting as a society.

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