My past has been heavily entrenched in music. I was always drawn to it as a form of expression – from waking up first thing in the morning singing the latest nursery rhyme taught at kindergarten, to learning to play my favourite pop songs on piano or guitar. I joined the school choir, and I was always playing music on the radio or my favourite album: I worked for a number of years in a CD shop, married an amazing singer/songwriter and have hung out with a lot of musicians. I loved every minute of it… or so I thought.
I can’t remember there being any particular big ah-ha moment, but about six years ago I stopped: I stopped listening to and singing other people’s songs, and I stopped playing the guitar. I was still being exposed to music but I stopped engaging with it. I felt I was coming to a point where I was beginning to develop a new understanding with music and I felt I needed to stop for a while, and give it a rest.
During this time I have discovered so many things about music. I realised music had become a great place for me to hide and allow myself to be emotionally played with.
I also started to notice how much popular music was changing. My husband and I have often conversed about how compressed and layered the music is now; so much so that people are being trained or further removed from hearing a true voice. For example, if I listen to an old Elvis Presley track from the 50’s and then stick on a track sung by any one of the numerous pop stars of today, it feels like the purity and warmth of the true voice that was there with Elvis and the simple production qualities of that time have now been lost or forgotten.
The tricks of the music trade today are similar to that of the images we now see all around us where flaws are rubbed out and altered to achieve an image that seems to me to be so unattainable.
We end up worshipping someone else’s image instead of worshipping and deeply connecting to our own natural beauty and divine expression.
The same happens with music. Well, thankfully not all music. If I put on any albums released by Glorious Music, I no longer feel bombarded or imposed upon. There is room for me to listen without someone trying to entice me into their emotional pain. I no longer need to be perfect, for perfection is not the goal. Truth is what I hear, and it doesn’t hurt to listen to it.
As soon as I pressed play the first time I listened to the first album, I wept. This is the truth in music I was looking for all along and at last I felt validated. I had come home to me. A true blessing and inspiration, so profound and ever expanding; something we can all be a part of!
My brother once told me I was a better piano player than he was. I remember being perplexed at why he would be saying this, considering he was more technically proficient, more knowledgeable in the theoretical aspects and got higher marks than I did in music exams. He said, “Because you can feel the music and express it in your playing”. My husband has said similar things about my singing.
I have been pondering for a while, wondering when it would be time for me to come back to music as an expression. Is it possible for me to express the real me through music, and to truly enjoy music without succumbing to the emotional hooks I was previously drawn into?
Well, thanks to Glorious Music, I can now say, “YES!”
by Suzanne Cox, Customer Service Profession, Ocean Shores