I have heard Serge Benhayon say many times, “Expression is everything”, and have always felt it to be true. It has been presented in many Universal Medicine events and there have been many opportunities in the various workshops to feel into this, practise it with other people, and experience what a difference it makes to how I feel about myself, the world and other people.
More recently Serge Benhayon has even started explaining the connection between expression, time and space (Universal Medicine: The Way of the Livingness No. 5). And slowly and steadily I have developed myself out of a mindset that was stubbornly defending my particular kind of stoicism and the belief that what I felt wasn’t really worth anything, let alone saying it out loud.
But no matter how much sense something makes, change isn’t always easy. For example, there are questions I ask myself and put in the way between me and my expression and they go something like this:
- Do people really want to hear how I feel about something?
- Is what I have felt actually true?
- Is what I have felt actually worth sharing?
- What if people think I am an idiot?
And then there is this long list of self-imposed judgments and they go something like this:
- What I feel is not important enough.
- What I have felt and want to say does not make sense to other people.
- What does not feel right to me only concerns me; other people don’t feel the same way.
- What I feel is ridiculous in the eyes of other people, even the ones I am close to.
And then there are these niggling doubts as in:
- What I feel is too embarrassing to express, it will expose me and make me look ridiculous.
- Maybe my feeling was actually wrong and I better not say anything.
All this was put to the test the other day. I was in a group setting where a few people described a situation that had occurred a while back and I could clearly feel that what they were saying came with a hardness and did not feel right. But, following my own recipe as per the ingredients above, I did not say anything. Other people spoke in support of the original account and what they had to say made a lot of sense to me. Yes, it was very convincing and so I censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again – or so I thought.
The next day I received an email from another group member who, like me, had also not said anything when we had all been together as a group and when I had censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again.
Never to be seen again?
Not really… everything was opened up again. It had, of course, never gone away and I could feel an immense sadness in me – sadness about not having said and expressed what I felt I needed to say, regardless of the outcome.
What happened then was quite amazing: as I allowed myself to feel the sadness and magnitude of what had happened over the course of the afternoon, I realised that –
- What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.
- What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.
- What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.
- What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.
- Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.
- What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.
It is actually all very simple. I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even. And I had developed this habit of repeating myself when I thought that something I had said hadn’t been received the way I thought it should have been – just in case the other had missed something! And ‘something’ meaning how brilliant or clever it had been!
And now? With the support of Serge Benhayon and through the teachings of Universal Medicine, I am truly learning and beginning to appreciate and experience that expression ‘is’ everything and that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people… I can feel a spaciousness in me – so much spaciousness that I even went looking for something to do and wrote this blog.
With thanks to Serge Benhayon, everything he stands for and presents, and to Universal Medicine.
By Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah NSW
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
I am so delighted that you “went looking for something to do and wrote this blog” and that I found my way to it today. In fact, I found myself nodding in agreement all the way through. And the main thing I got out of it is the realisation I have actually changed so much over the last few years since my introduction to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and holding back my valuable expression, just in case I embarrassed myself, is a pattern of the past – and that delights me too.
It’s amazing what a few rounds around the Sun can do, isn’t it? We gain experience, have more wisdom and there are things we just don’t do to ourselves any longer. And shutting down our expression is one of them.
What if everything there is is to express what we feel? I can relate to what you say about holding back and having lots of doubt but as you also say that what we feel is not even for us to hold on to, it’s always there to help others grow and evolve and holding that back will have a very negative effect on both ourselves and everyone else that gets robbed of the opportunity to advance themselves.
We are indeed part of a greater all and when we hold back, we are in effect throwing a tantrum and saying that we want something for ourselves; in other words, we are at that moment steeped in individualism, to the eyeballs and then some.
Expression I agree is everything we express without words, as well as in our moves and movements and I am forever learning when it comes to expression. Yesterday an energy came through that made me constantly doubt myself and when I called this out to another, it just came right back at me to doubt myself even further. On reflection though what I am feeling now is how something within me has not been truly healed for this to happen, or how I moved or expressed leading up to this point was not in such a way where doubt could not enter. On reading this ‘What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else’ on some level I agree, but when it comes to expressing to another, it always helps to be super clear in what we are saying (lesson I learnt yesterday!).
When we express to another, the way we express is of utmost importance, of course – are we trying to garner sympathy, make a certain impression, do we have an agenda? All these emotions leave an opening, of course.
“It had, of course, never gone away and I could feel an immense sadness in me – sadness about not having said and expressed what I felt I needed to say, regardless of the outcome.” I have significantly become aware of this recently. It is very revealing how often I feel sad about burying my feelings however, it was a great rebirth for me to resurrect myself by simply renunciating I was numbing myself from feeling just how amazing I am if I just take moments to feel this in my body — we are vehicle of expressions that are capable of being very intelligent and holding and this needs to be appreciated. I have observed if I am not confirming that all can be so very supportive for me I will taken by the usual lessoning way of being I have given my power away to in the past.
Bottling up what we feel and what is there to be expressed is a form of self-abuse and, just like preserves, it starts to go off, ferments and smells bad after a while. Our body was not meant to be a container for unfinished business.
I have held back my expression for many years, I had fear around saying the wrong thing or people not liking me, it has been such a healing process to let any pictures and ideals go around my expression and just let it flow. I am noticing the more I express the easier it becomes, and if I don’t express something I can feel the tension in my body because of this.
Our body is not a preserving jar, not there to bottle things up inside – but we do and are much the worse for it.
Just yesterday, I was met with ‘You have misunderstood’ ‘That’s just your imagination’ etc. and basically a complete denial of what I said I had been feeling – which I hadn’t expressed previously, so I felt supported by your list, particularly the first 2 points, and then realised how personal I was making my feeling and expression to be and making it more prone to hurt. There’s so much to uncover in this topic. Thank you for writing this blog, Gabriele.
We are on very slippery ground when we think we need to defend what we are feeling; there is no right or wrong in the matter, it is what it is and over time, we learn to express what we feel more and more easily.
‘What I feel is always true’ – I love this because no matter how much we might want to not feel something, and dismiss or deny it, in the end the truth of what we feel always surfaces, in some form. The sooner we can be honest with ourselves and others, the better, because when we’re not, everyone suffers – we just prolong what we know is not true and not working, causing complication, drama and unnecessary pressure on our bodies and in our relationships.
We worship delay in its many forms – I will start this diet tomorrow; next year I will give up alcohol; I will not swear when I see the children next; when I’ve finished this pack, I won’t buy any more cigarettes. But tomorrow never comes, as the vernacular goes.
We have to be more aware of what it is that we call ‘expression’ and what it does in the context of let’s say a conversation. Does it elevate the conversation or the other or both? Does it bring more awareness? Does it dump on the other? Does it give us a sense of relief? The fact that our conversations are not of the first kind, makes clear the fact that they come from self. It is a politely camouflaged me me me exercise.
Expression is everything, but we have to be careful what we call expression is not just dumping energy in another one. The quality of our expression is also everything.
I have wondered about that myself at times; is it going to be used as an excuse to dump anything and everything on unsuspecting bystanders? Just goes to show how much we have twisted and raped our language when everything has to be prefaced with the word ‘true’, as in ‘true love’, ‘true expression’, etc.
“What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.” My truth to be told. Lack of expression not only affects the body, but the mind and ones’ self-worth as well. Thank you for this, well-written. It feels as though you write for myself.
“What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.” This sentence alone is life changing.
It’s the vibration of doubt, self-doubt and delay that beckons, our prison for far too long.
It is such a relief when we can let go of all the expectations on ourselves to be and express in a certain way in the world in order to get acceptance, approval and recognition.
It is the lack of expression during the day that leaves us discontent at the end of the day, with all the behaviours that follow from such emptiness seeking any sort of stuffing.
And stuffing is the correct terminology here – anything at all will do but doesn’t really, of course.
What I feel is true… at least to me at the moment when I feel it. That´s the best way to start honouring what I feel or think for whatever reason. Without the claim or demand one is feeling to be the absolute truth for all times and everyone, it just is what it is for the moment and then comes the next moment where we may learn, realize and feel something else.
Every moment counts and deserves to be honoured as it can easily and readily bring more awareness and new insights.
Lack of expressing how we feel is very harming for the body.
It is a poison that the body then has to deal with. That poison can express itself in many ways – relationship problems, health issues, grumpiness, overeating…all because we didn’t acknowledge what was there for us.
What an important clue to a lot of our ill mental health problems – worth looking into further?
Good point – an accumulation and festering of poison in the body can wreak havoc.
“What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.” – This one is a big ‘Ouch!’ for me as well Gabrielle, and reveals just how much pressure I too have put on myself to look intelligent or witty to others, and how I feel like I have to be the one to fix everyone else’s problems and come up with the ‘solution’. But this way of living is not only not true, it is really exhausting!. I just love reading your honest account of realising the immense value of our expression and honouring our feelings, no matter what. I am slowly learning to trust how I felt even if I get it totally wrong, as it builds trust in myself and my innate ability to feel the truth in every situation.
Perfectionism is a plague and a weapon that we like to use against ourselves – what is wrong with making mistakes and learning from them? After all, we don’t admonish toddlers when they learn to walk, or do we? And what is the difference? How come we expect perfectionism once we have grown up?
I felt tension leave my body as I read your list of how expression can be. We can make it so complicated when really it is quite simple:
What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.
What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.
What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.
What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.
Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.
What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.
It is then up to us to start living this, to the best of our ability.
I’m really enjoying your blogs at the moment Gabriele. This blog being a great exposer of how ideals and beliefs get in the way of us expressing what is needed.
Thank you, Gabriele. I can relate to this blog so much, both to the long list of reservations about expressing my truth, and also the joyful turn around in starting to express what I feel no matter what. Now that I have started, I cannot imagine withholding so much of myself ever again.
We don’t need to justify what we feel, we are only here to express it. Sometimes it’s not easy but it is simple. I am noticing that the more I express, and push over the false walls of judgement about myself that i have built, then the more I want to express. I get a taste of how lovely it feels in the body and then I feel able to express more.
And there is no need for or attachment to a certain outcome; the expression is what counts and it completes a situation and leaves us free to move on, without being drained by unfinished business.
Beautiful, Simone. Yes, once we relinquish the self-judgement it is so lovely to start to speak what we feel, and every interaction becomes a fresh learning opportunity and exploratory playground.
Sometimes it is worth stepping out and saying what can be felt, even if there is incredible fear of rejection or ridicule or whatever. The simplicity of your expressive voice and the movements of your body is what counts.
Thank you Gabriele, for when we make space for our truth it opens us up. Hence when we express what we feel, we make space, and it opens us up. Actually it is simple.
Truth, love, harmony, joy and stillness, our divine qualities, are simple and we know them inside out because we come from that.
This for me says it all Gabriele – ‘What I feel is always true…’. Our relationship with what we feel, with embracing truth, with our bodies is what determines the quality of our expression. For when we express the truth we feel, we are allowing the vibration of love to move us, reflecting this quality for all to see, hear and feel. I have found that it is only when we have pictures of what love is or how truth is meant to be expressed or received, that we hold back, hindering our movements, which also exposes our need for recognition and acceptance. For with every word expressed from the truth we know and feel from within, from our bodies, is a spark of brilliance bringing light to any situation along with freeing up the space for more love to be.
What is highlighted for me here is that first and foremost are we standing by our feelings. That’s step 1. The next step is can we or do we allow ourselves to express what is felt? Step 2. If step 1 and 2 are in harmony that is amazing medicine.
There is so much in this blog which makes sense to me, with regards to the pressure we put on ourselves and the thoughts of what others will think of us. It is so liberating to let all of that go and to get to the point where we do not have to explain ourselves to others or have them agree with us.
We paralyse ourselves with all the expectations and self-imposed demands until we have been muted, have muted ourselves; with the exception of those moments when we can be reasonably sure that what we have to offer will be accepted if not welcomed with open arms – quite often a version of nice.
When I first heard Serge speak about ‘Expression is everything’, I didn’t fully understand what he was talking about, it wasn’t until I began to make steps to no longer hold myself back and start expressing more, I then began to feel the ‘spaciousness’ you speak about Gabriele. Our expression flows more simply when we stay connected to our bodies and don’t allow the head to get in the way and lace us with pictures and ideals.
To simply express, to not have it be a big deal, it changes the game really. I’ve often felt what I express needs to fit a particular paradigm, to be useful, to be witty, to be smart, to please another etc. … but in all this I’m putting a pressure or a picture on what I feel and what I can express, rather than just simply expressing. Something to more deeply explore here, to feel and express just as it is.
The moment we have an agenda of some kind, everything gets distorted, no matter how benign we might construct that agenda to be.
Great point – holding back expression as a marker of waywardness, the unwillingness to contribute and thus, fostering the self = individuality at all costs.
Something that really stands out to me, apart from the fact that I could tick the boxes for myself for all your reasons for not expressing, is that this way of shutting down and not saying anything is so pervasive. It’s like a worldwide epidemic that has been around for thousands of years. Come to think of it – how much of the world’s ills could be reduced or resolved if we had all been taught to express the truth from our bodies … Thankfully, it’s never too late for any of us to start truly expressing and enjoying every revelation along the way.
That is true, it is never too late to start and we learn as we go; life as one big school that never gets boring.
I can very much relate to your list of questions and list of self-imposed judgments Gabriele. I find it interesting how much our thoughts get in the way of our expression. When it comes to expressing myself, often my thoughts win over what my body is telling me. My body is often screaming out, ‘express truth, express truth’ but because I have been giving more power to my thoughts I tend to hold back expressing truth. From this I can instantly feel the tension in my body and what happens next is the list of self-imposed judgments replays again and again in my head, this could go on for days until I choose to stop, observe what is going on, learn from my choices and be gentle on myself. This allows me to appreciate that the next moment is another opportunity to express truth and this space to express is always continuously available to us all.
The mind censors the body in a dictator-like fashion.
Yes, the heart is far more intelligent than what is contained to the space between our ears. And science is slowly catching up with what The Ageless Wisdom has always known.
Is it (as yet) too scary to really go there? And if we did, and we eventually will, what would happen to our models of education, health care, institutionalised religion and daily life in general?
I’ve felt very silenced as I have grown up over the years and expression was so huge that I could feel this lump in my throat when I wouldn’t express in full, then I’m left with this internal dialogue wishing I had said this or said that and in this I’m destroying myself……
Since being a student and through the teaching of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, my expression has just gone to another level. My expression is more tender, more loving and simple, I don’t hold back like I used to.
Now I am observing that there is another level of expressing I’m being offered to people of authority – its never ending but beautiful to observe and what is being offered….
Same for me Shushila, my expression has deepened and expanded since I started to embrace and live the teachings offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. They have supported me to expand my awareness, to be more self-loving and gentle. I now recognise when I am in my self destroying mode/energy and I am able to stop, let it go, choose a more loving energy and learn from my experiences.
“What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are” – I love this and the points listed, they feel, so personal to me too. This ‘feeling is always true’ recently appeared between my partner and I and so lovely to observe how strong it felt in my body. Normally I would allow myself to be dismissed by the other but this time I honoured what felt true for me.
It is a work in progress and I will continue to observe, feel and express myself in everything. No doubt I will stumble at times but know things are changing in my expression as I allow and give permission to express more.
When we allow ourselves to express we open up more space within us to be available in fully for the next moment that presents itself to us.
“the belief that what I felt wasn’t really worth anything, let alone saying it out loud.” This has been a big ‘ouch’ for me and learning to let go of reactions from others I am learning to listen to what my body is expressing and whether if feels true or not.
So so true and the many lines that are said by us to us to stop anything being said or done can be endless. This article has highlighted a couple of my favourites and when I say favourites I don’t mean that they are great to use I more mean they are there straight away. I have been catching my internal critic more and more often and in place I have been appreciating what I have felt, truely appreciating and from this I have been supported to have more time and space to express. It is like the critic brings the walls in and you have no space while appreciating breaks them down and allows you are greater freedom.
Gosh there are so many things we can hold on to about expression that are there to block and hold back what we feel. Protection is a massive one for so many these days so there is no wonder why expressing our innate fragility and delicate ness and beauty and hence inner strength is rarely an expression made by many in the multitude we make each and every day.
I stopped on these lines Gabriele, ‘What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else. What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.’ as I got to feel very clearly how so much of how I express comes with justification and a need to be validated and seen as bringing value, rather than just expressing me and feeling and just being with what is there is be expressed, and living in a way that ensures we align to and express the truth of who we all are and where we come from.
So great to really take a look at what blocks we allow to get in the way and stifle our expression.. ‘is what I’m feeling true?’ is a big one, and so is ‘oooh that was awkward.. I don’t want to draw attention to that, to make that person feel even more uncomfortable’.. but when we allow ourselves to run with those thoughts, we get stuck in the same merry-go-round of nothing changing, everything staying the same, sweeping things under the carpet. Wanting to be liked and accepted is a major impediment that stifles our expression, because we either pretend we can’t feel something, or sweeten it so that it’s easier to hear, when most of the time people just want the truth that they know we can feel.
Deep down we all want to be told and know the truth but let all sorts of other things get in the way.
Ironically although we may not want to admit it expression is not a choice. We cannot choose to not express anything for we expressing even when we hold back it is still an expression. An expression that is like all our expressions, it can either support and confirm another to speak from their heart too or not.
So true and great point – holding back expression is an expression by and in itself just as much as not making a choice is already a choice.
Great point indeed! Everything is an expression – what we can choose is the kind of quality we want our expression to be…
How gorgeous and very profound Gabriele. If we do not express what we have inside to express we to are missing out on the experience of expressing it! Whilst it sits there as a potential to express it is not a reality until we let it out. Humanity has so much potential we just need to choose to express it so.
Expression for me has been something I have allowed many pictures to bombard and feel it has to be perfect before I express. This is just an old story that keeps me stuck and in delay, or I can begin to make steps and accept and appreciate that we all have something of value to express, learning to do this has been life changing for me.
Our particular angle regarding anything, our wisdom and lived experience is gold. Its value only increases as we are able to express and share it with the world. It is not such an easy process to get there and by sharing what we discovered, we serve other people.
I love this Gabriele. You have laid out so clearly just how impeding it is to hold back on expressing what we feel. As soon as we question what we feel, doubt our sensibility or even what we are capable of, we instantly give up on confirming who we are, and give way to instead being fed thoughts that keep us from expressing and living truth, who we are and what we feel. Expressing our truth is just that – ‘ours’ to be shared, as it is a quality represents us all, a quality we all know, and ultimately it is our expression of universal truth that serves to free us all. It’s crazy just how much expectation we place on ourselves to essentially, simply ourselves and express what we feel – not just when we speak but also how we move ourselves through the day. This is I am still learning to master, but can feel greater freedom on my body and being when I do freely express without expectation, and the how far more honouring it is for all.
Getting it wrong has been a big one for me along with some of the other reasons you had cited for not expressing, coming to understand that getting it wrong is ok, was a big one, for through that experience the opportunity for much learning can follow.
When it comes to talking, I am pretty forthcoming with expression and everyday my writing improves but sometimes these thoughts below do enter my mind.
Do people really want to hear how I feel about something?
Is what I have felt actually true?
Is what I have felt actually worth sharing?
What if people think I am an idiot?
It’s inspiring to hear the result of what expressing yourself actually brought. I am yet to write a blog, so this is a great key to help me to continue to unlock the block, thank you.
It feels like we need to rise above those self-sabotaging whispers; they don’t come from a true place but will muscle their way in, given half a chance.
And I’m very glad that you wrote this blog Gabriele!
We can place such mountainous expectation upon ourselves, and what a travesty it is when this holds back that which oftentimes, may be an acute awareness and sensitivity to things – an expression that will offer so very much to those who receive it.
This blog really shows that we all have something to share and that its important that we honour this. I can relate to many situations of holding back what I know to be my truth. When I have delivered it in the half truth it gets messy however when I deliver it in the full truth of what I feel it is often well received and offers everyone the opportunity to also express their truth.
I love how you say that what we express doesn’t have to dazzle people, nor gain their consent, approval or recognition! It gives grace to ourselves to speak what we truly feel and gives that same grace to the other person to take it or leave it, no imposition either way.
Our doubts and self imposed judgments on ourselves can cut us down and erode our potential big time.
I have learnt this too over the last few years whilst working with people in groups, what I feel does count and matter, it’s important to express what I am feeling and I don’t need to know the next or even have the understanding of why I feel the way I do, it’s just there and there to be expressed responsibly.
The more I express what I feel the more love I feel in and of myself and for others, the more I want to repeat that experience again and maintain it. But should the consistency of ignoring my feelings come in and take up my expressions in the day they too try to convince that I should keep holding back and not expressing what I feel. One of the most beautiful things about developing a relationship with expressing how I feel is that when I don’t I get to feel the pain of making such a choice. It makes the choice of ‘Do I say something or not?’ very simple.
For me when we hold back expression what we truly know, we are holding back the next part of evolution, because when we hold back we stop being part of the whole and we need to be part of the whole to move forward, as everyone’s expression is equally important.
Gabriele, I very much related to what you have shared here. There is probably not many that wouldn’t. I especially like… “What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval”. With no expectations or judgement, but with a developing trust in yourself.
Like you Gabrielle I am learning to experience and appreciate that expression is everything and that when I do express it makes a huge difference to how I feel. I am also learning to not be affected by the reaction or response to my expression, a work still in progress.
Yes, hard to know what’s worse – talking for the sake of talking or not expressing at all. And there being a difference between talking and expressing, of course. In both instances, either party suffer.
Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine have helped me very much too, supporting me to re-connect with what I’m feeling and to express it. Now when I have self-doubting thoughts I’m much more able to recognise them and to consider what purpose they actually serve – is it helpful or is it just hindering?
In the past week and a half I have been saying what I feel to say, rather than the recipe book of censorship that I have used diligently for 56 years. It is surprising the difference it feels to simply say when something doesn’t feel great and share it with the appropriate person/s concerned. This is has been a work in progress but worth every aspect that feels like ‘hard work’ or something to be avoided at all costs. Expression rocks, is the new black and expanding love in my life.
Learning not to sensor expression is possibly the biggest learning I’m having. Perhaps it is more true to say that I’m un-learning the censorship to my own expression. I know from experience it starts as an external impost from others, then from the tone that has been set I adopted the protocol and have kept it alive, brewing along, making what I feel second to any other person’s thoughts, opinions, influence and comfort. Thanks for a great insight and reflection to simply express what we feel is true for us.
“Un-learning the censorship of your own expression” is a very apt way of putting it, thank you Sandra. It just occurred to me that the same thing happens with negative self-talk where we continually judge and criticise ourselves, this also being a form of censorship, of cutting down and negation.
‘Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.’ This is a point that stood out for me. That silence we keep, just to avoid a further silence if what we have expressed is not agreed with or others make no comment on it. We have so many reasons/excuses for not speaking up.
But none of them valid, would you agree? This silence hurts us and others.
Expression really is everything, it’s not just words – it’s energy. Our words, or our lack of words, is an energy, and energy can move things, change things, cut things, and always affects everyone around us. I wonder what a conversation, where we held back what we knew was true, would look like if we could see energy, and what a conversation when we spoke the truth would look like if we could see energy.
What a great idea – what would it look like if we could see the chasm between people from what is left unexpressed, the turbulences created by lovelessness and disregard, the stagnation and blockages from holding back in our own body?
Without self-worth, we believe ourselves to be less than others and often seek their approval. Deferring to another is false: as it elevates them at our expense. Self-worth is building an inner connection with our true essence and taking tender loving care of ourselves until we truly feel our own worth and equal-ness to all others. And when we do, it’s as if we’ve truly come home and can be fully ourselves in every expression.
Self censorship is the phrase that comes to me. Three years ago I experienced a situation that was problematic, but didn’t know what to do about it. I recall how difficult it was for me to express what I truly felt. My tendencies up to that point were ‘silence’ ‘padding’ truth with ‘niceties’ or reacting, all of which would leave me feeling disharmonious, frustrated and hurt in my body. I was shown that until I expressed what needed to be said clearly, without censorship, expectation or concern about how it was received, I would remain stuck in an old cycle. I took the opportunity and broke this pattern for the first time, supported by another, by saying what needed to be said honestly, clearly, without inhibition, fear or nervousness. The impact was immediate, profound and lasting. Above all, I learned that when we hold back from expressing truth, we hold back everyone.
Self-censorship is the best word for it and your example shows that we don’t just thwart ourselves, we gag others as well.
I love this quote Gabriele truly inspirational – thank you: “It is actually all very simple.” If it isn’t simple then self-doubt has a foot hold, what a great indicator to call my-self back from the thoughts and simply say what is there to be said.
“What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are” – this feels very important for me right now. Having suppressed and held back for so long, my expression may not come out right, but that does not mean what I felt was not true. I can feel how it is the self wanting to have the ownership of what is to be expressed that gets in a way of me allowing it to be there in full, spontaneously. If I am truly embracing and embodying the fact that I am a vehicle and the energy that I am choosing to align is what I am expressing – good or bad – sure, it would expose what energy I am then choosing to align to, but it wouldn’t matter how it would come out, would it?
I am not sure what you mean by “but it wouldn’t matter how it would come out, would it?” Can you say more?
Worrying about how my expression would come out in itself exposes the fact that I am rather attached to being the owner of what I express rather than just knowing myself as a vehicle and being aware of and having a best go at taking energetic responsibility.
I can very much resonate with putting an expectation on myself to be a certain way – and actually creating an issue where there is not one. In trying to take a kind of shortcut without looking at the very first choice I had been neglecting over life times, I wanted to be all expressive and loving and super-duper. It was never that I had an issue expressing myself, it was always about not making a choice to be love, knowing myself in full.
‘What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.’ If we taught our kids this at an early age, treated them with true equalness, it would make such a difference to the adults they become.
Good point; if we encouraged our children to truly feel and validated them, they would not grow up doubting themselves.
Like that one: “Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone”…just had the experience of meeting someone and observing how much I think I have to impress her. Say something very intelligent for example, and my body felt tense and my talking and mimicking was drawn up. When I started to give up on the mask and become more natural, I felt the anxiety about what she thought about me and what I say, I felt the anxiety of losing control over the conversation and what the other may think about me. This was good to observe. I did not judge myself but just observed what was going on and the next day when we met again and we talked I found myself a little bit more natural and detached from controlling. I guess it is a training… I will learn while I practice to let go of the rabbits and habits.
Love that alliteration – rabbits and habits. And yes, no rabbits needed and habits get taken care of by honesty and awareness first, then understanding, practice and patience.
Expectations that we put on ourself can be such an impediment to the free-flow of our natural expression – and I can speak from experience too here! Serge Benhayon has helped me so much to build a deeper awareness of ideals, beliefs, pictures, expectations that I’d put on myself that were affecting the way I would otherwise lovingly be expressing. And this goes for more than just the words that I say or don’t say. It’s a work in progress and I feel like it always will be something that I’m developing and building greater awareness of.
The perfect article to read this morning as I prepare for a job interview. I can feel that to go trying to impress another is to go with a falseness and is in total disregard of my body. To stay fully in my body, with acces to the joy I hold brings a spacious feeling of quiet confidence in myself, an expression, that no matter the result, is my truth. A space I choose to enjoy as I prepare.
Thank you for sharing a great blog Gabriele, one I could well relate to, expression has always been difficult for me, for a start not knowing how I was actually feeling, then when I did share keeping it brief incase the person got bored by my sharing, in the past I have been a listener to other peoples talking thereby keeping myself hidden. I was in a group of people the other day and the friend I traveled down with was sharing about a small procedure she had had, I was amazed at the detail she went into and as I looked around no one looked bored. She also spoke slowly and with confidence. I was impressed as I sometimes rush the small amount I have to say so as not to bore people, I just realised it is just a way for me to keep myself small.
That sounds like a great insight, another little trick of the inner enemy that tries to “keeps us in our place” and not be a nuisance or boring in the eyes of other people. So what if we sometimes might be or are? Would that be their concern or ours?
I felt an immense sadness reading the start of this blog. How many of us censor ourselves for many if not all of the reasons you have identified Gabriele. Seeing it from the outside looking in, it is such a tragedy to observe anyone holding themselves back. The equality that is so naturally between us all is ignored and negated. I love the list that follows – all the confirmations of of why holding back is so ‘last era’!
The more we care for and be gentle and tender with our bodies the clearer we can feel what is true to express and what is not.
What I am finding is all those self imposed restrictions never get voiced – they stay in my thoughts, when they get a voice my body gets to feel their quality much more obviously. Doing this with the list of realisations you’ve shared I got to feel where my expression gets stuck – in the expectation that my expressions have to bring results and make changes that are instant. But life doesn’t work that way and by demanding change, problems to be fixed or offering solutions always backfires, doesn’t work or requires a lot of force to control which feels completely wrong to my body. Exploring the quality of my expression through how I feel is super powerful and goes to show that it is very simple as we have our own quality controller within our bodies.
Yes, agreed – not only do “we have our own quality controller within our body”, it is our very body that fulfils this function admirably and without fail.
Thank you for sharing this here Gabriele. It seems to me my life has been a journey of learning to express myself and I have come a very long way. However, I am still my own harshest critic – and even those projections of ‘what others may think of me’ is just a way of keeping myself down and in the ‘be seen and not heard’ box. What I would say is that it is a joy-full thing to be working on our own expression – and crucial too – for if ‘expression is everything’ then it affects all that we do and are in life.
This is a really powerful blog – our expression means so much and we can put a lot of things in the way of it coming from our truth! Great to nominate some of those hindering mindsets here and offer greater space for our true expression to flow.
We are vessels of expression and to my experience when I discount this fact I am ignoring who I am from nature and with that am feeding my lack of self worth which in turn will cement that non expressive way of life into my body. I do know that this way of living brings a stagnation in my body and with that introduces illness and disease to it.
It is certainly true that illness and disease start long before there are any physical symptoms and cementing non-expression in our body might well be the start of it.
Imagine if roses decided to hold back their expression and remained tight buds without ever opening up into full bloom and sharing freely the glorious beauty contained within.
Gabriele, thank you. Reading this today allowed me to see a constraint I can place on another, I’ve taken on an idea that what I saw has to have some value or use to another and cannot just simply be an expression of how I feel, so in fact I can often contort how I feel to fit into what I think might be useful to another or serve some purpose or other. Now to simply express that is very different, there is no trying and I know when I do this life is so much simpler, but the habit of contortion is still there and reading today reminded me to unpick it some more and just simply express and be me, nothing else needed.
Yes, I have also noticed this – there is an expectation of how something should be, turn out, lead to other things, be of a certain quality. This now feels very contrived and laboured, certainly the opposite of true expression, what you describe as ‘constraint’.
What a beautiful inspiring blog Gabriele; I love it and can feel the truth and beauty of our true expression from this connection within and the magic of this everywhere. Having held back my expression all my life beginning to allow this is so freeing and expansive and allows a magic to flow.
Increasingly it is true that to hold back anything felt from expression, whether that is outwardly done or not, is very detrimental to our bodies and how we feel.
Better a smidgen of egg on the face than bottling it all up? And after all, we are in the company of people who are also learning, and that means all of humanity – sooner or later and at everyone’s own pace.
What a great point Gabriele – worthy of remembering every single moment and this would neutralize any judgment of any comments: “we are in the company of people who are also learning, and that means all of humanity”. No one is greater or more important than another we are equal in our place and contribution to humanity.
Love this Gabriele.. we only have to express what we are feeling – it is so simple – yet we load it with all our preconceptions, judgements, ideals, over-analysis, so we end up not expressing anything. But in the simplicity of true expression we all bring and have the opportunity to learn and grow together.
Great point Annie, by us stepping up and learning to express we also confirm and support others to feel safe to express, likewise if we all hold back everyone misses out.
The greatest delusion is when we sit in life, tired and angry, judgemental or apprehensive and think that we are not saying anything, just because we restrict the words that come from our mouth. Whether we like to understand it not our every cell and particle, is constantly communicating everything to everyone alive. Like the most open book, or a speaker in parliament our body shouts out how we feel inside. We absolutely affect everyone with this unspoken speech every second we are alive. Your expression here Gabriele asks us to be clear – what are we sharing with others in our way? Is it the truth of God’s Love or more entertainment of the issues, and problems which really are just a big fat lie?
What we feel is true for us as individuals and no one can discount that. As I learn to stay in my body and express from there I know that if negative self-talk starts to happen then I am in my mind and that is not at all helpful. Expressing comes in so many forms, the way we move, talk and write being just a few. It is the quality in which I do all these things that makes the difference.
‘expression ‘is’ everything and that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people…’ A transformative journey Gabriel that led you to simply express as you. And yes it is amazing to express from deep within our own being and without inhibitions.
Absolutely fantastic, love reading your blogs Gabrielle. How we express ourselves is everything, how we hold ourselves, do we value our worth and what we bring? Or are we stuck trying to make a mark, to gain some form of acceptance, I know the latter has a lot of pain and complication where as simply valuing what we bring in our everyday expression is enough!
Trying to gain some form of acceptance does not just bring pain and complication, but it makes us totally dependent on the reaction or response from another/others. It doesn’t get more powerless than that, does it?
An awesome blog Gabriele, and one I can relate to so well. When we run with all these pictures, ideals and beliefs, the world misses out on who we truly are and the gifts we uniquely bring.
This would have to be one of your best Gabriele. Well worth expressing. Your list of realisations are universal and very relevant to me. They are great reminders that we are amazing just as we are, no need to try to impress.
Ah, trying to impress … what a slippery slope that is; thanks for the reminder.
I had an experience recently where I didn’t express something at the time to someone serving me at a stall at the market. As we continued our interaction, I could feel I had to go back and say what was there to be said. As I did, my throat was croaky and I kept coughing. I stopped for a moment, and continued and as I expressed what I hadn’t, my throat cleared. What I had to say was very pertinent to the woman serving me, and she was deeply grateful for what I’d shared with her. That was a great experience for me to see that “everything is energy”, and “expression is everything”.
That must be about as clear as it can get – we literally choke ourselves when we don’t express what is there to be said.
I agree Gabriele, what we truly feel does not need to make sense to everyone in that moment. Sometimes these are the things that we ponder on later and realise the wisdom in what has been expressed so when we express our true feelings, nothing is really lost as it may be a gift for someone else.
I love the fact that you call the expression a potential gift for someone else; it makes it super clear that holding back doesn’t work.
I loved all your clear and simple realizations in your second list, especially the last one: What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval. Mostly it is about giving ourselves permission to express ourselves after many years of doubting and holding it back.
I love the revelation you have had that there is no need in double guessing whether to express or not but simply express when there is something to be expressed. It makes it simple and as you say brings spaciousness to our bodies.
It seems so convenient to not express that what we feel, and to lace that decision with aspects we live from our deep ingrained lack of self worth. But in fact this way of behaviour is not convenient at all as the results of not expressing our truth does comes back to us when we are faced with the end result of our holding back, in which we are actually hurt twice.
What I can feel from your second list today is that it is the deep self-love and self-nurturing that sit at the back of allowing myself to express in full, that forever knows and is connected to who I truly am and allows me to make mistakes with no judgment.
Gabriele I love the simplicity with which you present expression, it’s just what we feel to say, doesn’t have to be earth shattering, or quote worthy, but a simply the honouring of your bodies reading and feeling in that moment. Without the self analysis, critique and judgement, as expression is as natural to the body as breathing.
As I was reading this blog, I could feel many similarities for myself. I could also feel that my own personal hiccup to me saying what I feel is an underlying insidious energy of needing to be perfect and right. Whilst both of these ways of being are much less lived by me now, there are now deeper more hidden remnants of it that are being continually exposed. I can only now appreciate the beauty of such discoveries, as each time an aspect is revealed, then begins a new way of being that no longer includes the behaviour. The beauty that I am that is being revealed is a joy I never dreamed could be mine to live from.
This expression is great to re read Gabriele. I have always related to your words here too, they are the very things I have thought or said to myself over the years and occasionally catch myself doing still! A great re awakener too!
“Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.” Oh yes. This one hit home and it exposed a wanting to be noticed but when we wait until we have thought of something ‘meaningful’ to say the moment has passed. When we express freely what we feel we can often stop and ask ourselves ‘Where did that come from?’ It is the energy that we choose to flow through our body that results in true expression – so the ‘everything’ is energy.
“Is what I have felt actually true?” – this is the one I get stuck with lately. Someone would offer what they felt which would contradict my version, then I just didn’t know what to say. How do we come to a point of true harmony and understanding without compromising, patronizing, judging or holding back even further? I kept questioning what I expressed, how I expressed, where I was coming from – and ended up in a huge pool of self-doubt. I got to feel my judgment of myself and how I often make it impossible for me to let the feelings be expressed with no filter or hindrance. This is an ongoing learning for me and your sharing here is a massive support. Thank you, Gabriele.
I wonder whether it would be supportive to feel into the response – maybe it was actually a reaction to a truth you expressed and the other person couldn’t handle that?
Thank you, Gabriele. What I feel is that there were layers of honesty and we both were not willing to get to the bottom of it, stubbornly so. We both were holding onto hurts.
I can be very good at over analyzing what I should or should not say. But when I see it written down as a list I realise just how ridiculous it is. That our whole holding back process is what is ridiculous, not what we actually want to say/share/contribute. And the amount of time we waste worrying about everything and everyone, it’s insane. What are we really avoiding by holding back so much of who we are?
Such a great blog Gabriele. Very relatable. I have always had an inner battle with speaking up. I often do speak up despite regardless of the tricks I play on myself, and it’s not always well received, and that can at times, be hard to swallow, for the need to be liked by all is particularly strong. But, with practice, I’m finding that I can say how I feel about something with less and less judgement or attack, so those receiving my thoughts, feelings or opinions are not imposed upon so strongly, and space is created for them to contribute also.
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When we are willing to engage and express our feelings with others, we contribute to the whole, it’s a commitment to life, our purpose and our collective expansion.
Expectations come with a picture or imagined outcome, and we are very quick to shut down our voice when our head gets in the way with self judgement and criticism. I have allowed myself to be a victim of my own inner critic, but like your self Gabriele I have an awareness that is building a rapport with my feelings and expression is flowing naturally.
I love that you went looking for something to do and wrote a blog … and one that nailed the thoughts, doubts and self judgements we use to hold ourselves back from true expression… one that is personal and yet in the same breath, can be profoundly powerful in it’s natural ability to heal and inspire both self and others.
Thanks Gabriele, what you’ve shared is priceless really. If everything is expression then you have outlined so much that we allow to stand in the way of our own free expression. And not for a moment does it feel as though what you’re saying gives free reign to ANY sort of expression, but to that which we feel is true for us. Not discounting this is a very good start…
Great blog Gabrielle; I love what you have expressed here and I could not agree with you more, thank you;
“expression ‘is’ everything and that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people”.
Gradually I am learning to fully express, no matter the consequences.
When I don’t express what I have felt and ‘the moment passes’ it stays with me like an annoying bubble and I am inclined to replay the situation. When I do express what I have felt it does not get stuck and I move on.
Great observation – the situation remains unresolved and the stuck energy does not go away, it can’t. And thus we are the hostages of an unfinished scenario that needs to present itself again.
Yes great observation Mary, it is so true. Not only does the situation ‘stick’, leaving us unable to move on, but the energy of what ought to have been expressed becomes stagnant in the body. I find I feel quite tired and stuck when this happens.
‘I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even.’ I know this one too Gabrielle and often I was disappointed in myself that I did not say that brilliant line or came with the solution for a problem. And this disappointment was food for my lack of self worth. It is great to know it is never about me but about expressing what is true and to know I am have an equal say because of being a part of the whole. Expression is a learning and very revealing process in life.
I love coming back to this blog and pondering on the wisdom you have shared with us Gabriele. I am learning to not hold back in my life and express more everyday, I have for too long been invested in another’s approval of me and being ‘nice’. I know this pattern of mine does not serve anyone or myself and letting this go I notice there is an openness and space available to express more freely and not be attached to another’s reaction.
It is impossible to fulfil another’s expectations, but somehow we keep trying and set ourselves up for failure and expression constipation.
An amazing part about Expression is Everything is the fact that what we express can be for the benefit of another person, it can actually be wholly for them.
The thing is, if we do not at least express, how do we reveal what lays underneath.
True, expression is not just the spoken or written word, it is every move we make and the thoughts we think, the intentions we have.
The tension is felt by everyone, I agree, and can lead to further tension and possibly misunderstanding even; I am sure we feel a lot more than we are aware of, we are just good at pushing that down.
All the excuses to not express are very known to me, but as you say, holding back expression will never improve a thing. Knowing this and feeling that the recognition I am sometimes after in expression is never making me feel more, than the love that I am. So it is actually very simple, just not hold back, and share what is to be shared. Without expectations.
What an enormous shift Gabriele, to have shifted from “What I feel is too embarrassing to express, it will expose me and make me look ridiculous.” to “What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.” It really shows how claiming our own expression brings a confidence, connection and understanding within oneself (rather than laying us open to self doubt and self criticism).
Great summing up – and I appreciate that you have included confidence in the list; in the past I would have thought that confidence depended on how much I know about a topic or how eloquent I can be, but I have found that these things are rather shallow and become meaningless once true expression is developed.
What I would like to add – as you describe Gabriele, we don’t need the permission of other people to express. When we feel something and express it, that is our truth and this doesn’t have to be confirmed by anybody.
Reading your comment Alexander i could feel how important it is to express what we feel but not do it not with judgment. So the quality we express in is important. I just talked to my room mate i share a room with. She was sharing something with me and suddenly a small comment of mine sneaked in which wasn’t lovingly said. And even it was true the way i said it wasn’t not ok. I realized and apologized. We need to become honest how we speak with another.
I agree – it is the energy we speak in and with that is as important as what we actually say; we can be saying ‘the right thing’, but if it is loaded with one emotion or another it is not truth but rather self-serving and in disregard of another.
Great sharing Gabriele – expression is really everything. If we don’t express, then we don’t contribute anything to this world, we are basically not existing. That is the reason why I like so much the possibility to express on all the Unimed Blog sites. It gives me the chance to express what I feel.
I agree Alexander commenting on the Unimed Blog sites is a great way to learn to express what we feel is true and than bring it in all areas of our life.
‘Expression is everything’ is one of my favourite sayings from Serge Benhayon. I only knew what this truly meant until recently and I can feel the power and joy when we live embracing this truth more and more in our lives.
Just participating in a retreat in Vietnam where we constantly work in big groups of people. I realized i still hold believes that hold me back in my expression like that i don’t have something important to say and compare myself to people who always say great things. That i don’t have a talent to speak like them. And this is all not true I know but use it as a excuse not to take responsibility to participate in the way which is needed to bring my part to the group and step up in my expression also in a group of 200 people.
Knowing that it is only a trick to keep myself small.
Thank you for your honesty Janina, I too can play the game of being less in a group and feel like others can express better than I can. Quite silly really when we all have our unique expression and each one of us holds a key to support the whole. Time to let go of this game and for all of us to express without any holding back.
It is a game we playing Anna, i agree. In holding back my expression I did let myself be seen as powerful as I am. Even i knew that is is about expanding my expression and to take the opportunities to expand. Once we express with the power that we bring and let ourselves be seen we will stand out and this will cause reactions. This is what we avoid.
Thank you for sharing this Gabriele – this has provided a healing for me and I’m sure for many others. I can relate to all the doubts and thoughts running, providing all the excuses not to express, as I would also feel that unless it’s profoundly life changing it wasn’t worth saying. Yet I’ve found when I say the simplest things (to me anyway) they can often be the things that make the most difference to people and vice versa. Yes, expressing without censoring or having an agenda. It’s a responsibility we have, as we never know who needs to hear what we feel to share or when.
I agree wholeheartedly – and isn’t it incredible how complicated we make things and what expectations we have of ourselves when true expression is so simple and utterly uncomplicated.
Absolutely Gabriele – keeping it simple and not overthinking or not thinking at all but coming instead from the heart.
Expression is indeed everything, I can feel how I have made it a big and heavy thing, which indeed as you portray so nicely in this blog needs to be perfect, and perplexing everyone who is listening. This is holding me back very much so… But exercising it more and more brings such a joy to it, as I know how it feels when I don’t, which is pretty awful actually.
Agreed – expression is light and has no outcome or agenda, it just is what it is, loving and truthful.
Gabriele, I so easily relate to your lists of reasons for not expressing what you were feeling. I used to live by very similar lists, holding back my true expression for fear of the many different reactions that were possible, but of course I wasn’t saving myself from anything as my body would hurt every time I held back those unspoken words. Today I live with the knowing that “Expression is Everything” and from understanding these three wise words my expression has been freed from the fear and now flows much more freely and in turn this is reflected in my body.
I have found this as well – not expressing does not protect us from anything at all, quite on the contrary. And it leads to endless complications.
I have just participated in a workshop from Chris James about singing and expression. We did group work where we expressed to another how we feel, learning to speak from our heart and not our head.
We could nominate things that stand in the way like the belief “what i say is not important”. We need to become aware of these beliefs to reclaim our powerful and natural expression.
Ah, that’s an important one – the belief that what we have to say is not important or that we don’t count somehow; makes me wonder where we pick that up? It certainly does not feel like we are born that way.
Incredible really how we stifle our expression thinking and idealising what it is we should be delivering – that certainly makes things very complicated and leads to nothing but delay and self-doubt, as you describe so well.
Exactly, And if others indulged in delay we would have no blogs! So thank goodness they don’t.
‘I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even.’ I can so relate to this Gabriele and what a perfect set-up for keeping ourselves silent in so many circumstances. Learning to express and letting go of how others receive it has been on ongoing journey for me but the key was starting to express when I felt there was something there to say and not listening to my internal critical voice. I may not get it right all of the time and accepting this has been a necessary part of the process.
It always amazes me that we don’t expect a toddler to learn to walk in one day and yet, when we don’t “get” something straight away and make mistakes, it is easy and nearly a default position to come down on ourselves like a ton of bricks. Why is that and does it really make sense?
No it doesn’t make any sense, instead of allowing ourselves the grace to have L plates on we expect perfection every time – no pressure there then!
What I have realized is our whole society is holding back to the max. When you sit in a group of people and everybody can feel that something is not right not many address it. Only because there are, let’s say 12 people, and nobody addressing the issue it is still there and affects everybody. I have experienced when I feel something but don’t express it, it is stuck in my body and gets on my nerves. That is one reason for me at some point to start even expressing more. And I feel I am constantly asked to express more and more wherever I am because I reflect to people that it is possible and safe to open up and express themselves.
Good point, we are all holding back and it is easy to feel in the body, just as you describe. And the longer we wait and sit on it, the greater the possibility that it will come out in a way that we did not intend, i.e. with frustration, anger, disappointment etc and then nobody can truly hear it as the message gets filtered through their disappointments, judgments and hurts.
This is so important to understand Gabriele. If we express at the time we feel what we feel we have the opportunity to express it in a clear and emotion free way, simply describing what we have observed. The longer “we sit on it” the more tension is built up in the body and when we finally say it some days, weeks later it comes with a load which has built up because we have not expressed it at the time we felt it. If we start living in that way we are able to bring simplicity into our life.
I agree Gabriele “It is truly inspiring to be around people who express truthfully and don’t bottle things up..” and I just had to nominate when I hold back in the way I gave feedback to somebody. It just doesn’t feel right to hold back our expression in anyway! We are here to communicate and need to learn to stop filtering our expression, only because we have an expectation or assumption what might happen if I say this or that. If we express in a loving and non judging way it is easy for people to hear what we say then there is no need to automatically react. Even if they do react this is ok too and a great learning for both.
Most important is to let go any reasons why we should not express what we feel and what is true for us.
And causes so much more harm than if we were to clearly express what was first felt at the time because as you’ve both shared it then comes with an emotional charge.
We are definitely living in a world of holding back, but the more that we express, the more that others will too.
It is truly inspiring to be around people who express truthfully and don’t bottle things up – we can all feel it anyway when what is said or not doesn’t gel with what we are picking up on and that makes true expression a no brainer really.
I agree Simone, the more we allow ourselves to express and to connect with people eventually they will start open up too and expressing. This is beautiful to experience seeing people dropping their protection.
So true Simone – it inspires others to open up and do the same.
“Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.“
I really was laughing when I read this line!
To express simply what we feel and observe is more than enough – we don’t have to impress anyone or put up a show.
No need to put on a show, I agree. It is bizarre how many expectations and ideals we can have of what things should be or what other people should behave like.
Janina this point is so important! How many people think part of expressing is impressing other people? We often think it needs to be flashy and big, but all we really need to do is be ourselves.
Yes Meg, in the past i did not express because i thought i am not speaking in a certain way which i valued as intelligent or that you know a lot about what ever subject.
Today i can appreciate my way of expressing simply what i feel, no need for special or foreign words to prove myself in any way. And if i don’t know something i ask. I don’t feel “not good enough” or less anymore not knowing something.
It’s amazing what we hold back in the presence of super intelligent people, thinking we can’t match it, it’s taken me a while but I would now much prefer to be able to speak wisely and with love about a topic rather than be super clever and have a non-stop tap of knowledge. It’s all a matter of what you put the most value on.
It is great once we start appreciating our own unique way of expression and not compare ourselves with others in any way.
Totally – and not only that, what I realised the other day is every moment and expression in my day can be used to deepen and discover more my expression as a woman – that’s pretty cool!
Yes this stood out for me too. Absolutely love this line. It sums it up perfectly. No need to try to impress or be anyone other than who we naturally are
You could be writing my own story with what you have described here Gabriele. I am learning to realise how much it hurts to hold back expression and that second guessing myself and what I think others might want and then trying to fit that role doesn’t get anyone anywhere. As I am learning to let go of the fear of speaking up I am finding that often the results aren’t the catastrophe that I had originally feared and in fact others have been grateful for my input. The more I am understanding that I firstly need to create the foundation so that I have an awareness of what is truly needing to be expressed in the moment, the more solid and supported I feel in my expression. Thank you – I’m confident I will be back for a re-read of this blog at some stage as I have found it very helpful.
Like everything, it takes a willingness and then lots of practice, but seeing the rewards are immediate in that it feels so much better in our bodies when we express truthfully, it also is a lot of fun.
Totally agree with what is written here – Thank you Gabriele. It is time to get myself out of the way and allow what comes up is to be expressed. To take energetic responsibility and open to the awareness that everything is about us all and not about me.
It is great when we can put our hesitations and self-concerns to one side and align with what is needed, for all of us.
We have constructed so many reasons why we should not simply express what we feel and observe in a situation. Gabriele you have exposed the reasons for you which many of us can agree too. One strong one for me was: it is really important what I feel and have to say. I had to let go of that belief to be able to start expressing openly. This took me many years and I was supported very much through the workshop from Chris James/Australia.
Beautiful Luke and extremely well expressed.
I love how you are claiming that what you are feeling to express is valuable. I appreciate everything that is shared here in this blog as there has been so many consistent acts in everybodies lives that have dismissed, crushed, attacked, denied or subjugated the truth in what we all feel and that sadly it is still an everyday occurrence.
It is as though we have accustomed ourselves to crush what is truth and love in ourselves in order to fit in and not rock the boat.
Amazing Gabriele, I love what you have expressed! I love how you expose these diminishing thoughts that either obscure or stop our natural expression, and bringing focus that our expression is everything.
It’s so true Gabriele, what we feel is what we feel, no right or wrong or feeling in the order of importance. I had to understand this about feeling anything. Sometimes, in fact most of the time, when we feel what’s going on, it’s a subtle feeling and we should never doubt that we felt something and what we felt was true.
That is so real – the endless monologues around possible repartees in situations long gone that always sound so clever in hindsight but are just based on the big hurt of not having expressed our truth, regardless of whether it will be openly welcomed or not.
Such a great list of ‘expression enablers’ in this blog, Gabriele, each one with its own ‘Doh!’ factor as I realise just how much I’ve held myself back through a set of erroneous beliefs and filters that impact the extent to which I measure what I’ll say about what I truly feel. One to print out and stick on the wall! Many thanks.
Love the idea of ‘expression enablers’ supporting us to express in full. Thank you.
This is a brilliant blog to revisit, there is always something more for me to reflect upon. ‘Expression is Everything’ as presented by Serge Benhayon is such a simple yet powerful saying and I can feel as I learn to express more and more just how important expression is to our overall health, well-being and energy levels. I also have had expectations on my expression and wanting it to be perfect for fear of getting it ‘wrong’ or hurting another – I am learning there is no ‘wrong’ if I am connected to me I will express from my body and my lived experiences.
It is truly never-ending, I feel the same; there is always more to become aware of, more to gain in clarity and more to enjoy.
There’s so much in those 3 words “expression is everything” a lot to ponder on and assimilate. Gabriele your expression here felt so freeing to me like I could just peel away layers and throw them aside. Holding back hurts us in a variety of ill ways yet our expression may just hold the key to a deep healing for ourselves or another if we would allow it out.
Holding back does hurt, I agree; it can feel like poison in the body in my experience. True expression on the other hand is very freeing and deeply healing on many levels.
which doesn’t help anyone
makes me wonder why we do it.
It’s awful that we can hold ourselves back like this. All the doubts you had Gabriele have been my doubts. It would be better to be a fool than to hold all our expression inside and then we find, when we are truthful, that it was not foolish at all.
I can also relate to your apprehension when it comes to expression, however I am also learning to value what I express because it is not only healing for myself it may also help another who is listening
Beautifully shared Sally, this is so true. I have only recently realised the harm in not expressing. It is huge, I am slowly changing that by trusting what I feel, by practicing and not worrying about getting it perfect but to just simply express no matter what. This feels amazing, like Gabrielle shared, it creates a feeling of spaciousness.
I was very similar to you Christine, I also had a lot of ‘fears’ in expressing how I feel. One that stands out for me is feeling guilty when people react to what I have to say and another one is the fear of being dismissed by others. The points that Gabrielle shared I can relate to all of them.
I am also learning that ‘ expressing is everything’. I can so relate to your blog Gabrielle, I used to not express how I feel to others incase I offended people or stirred things up. By doing this I was storing all that I had not expressed in my body, I often feel tension and annoyed with myself for not expressing. I go into beating myself up about it at times and when the tension got too much I would have to ring a friend to talk to someone about it. Now, I am learning to express how I feel, this process was difficult at first but slowly with time I have become so much more aware of how I am feeling and allowing myself to speak up. This feels empowering, like you shared Gabrielle, by expressing to people doesn’t mean that they have to get what you are expressing. As long as I communicate clearly what I am expressing in a loving way, in a non-imposing way and without the need to be understood, then simply just expressing from my heart is enough.
I agree – expressing in a way that doesn’t impose on others and without an attachment to the outcome is truly liberating and feels so much better, not only mentally but also physically; the pressure is off and the congestion and turmoil are gone and it is then easy to get on with other things.
Thank your Gabrielle for expressing such familiar justifications for not speaking up to say what we feel. The realisations are very liberating and show so clearly the truth and depth of ‘expression is everything’.
I love your blog as well Gabriele, especially your sentence “What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.” So true – Important is that I express what I have felt and don’t hold back. That’s the key. Thank you very much for your awesome blog.
Thank you for such a powerful article, you’re realisations about expression are pure gold and a great support in inspiring me to not listen to what I can allow to get in the way and just speak what I feel to be true without any expectation or intention.
Expressing Gabriele I can relate to everything your wrote in your amazing and honest blog because I had similar excuses to not express what I felt. It is very interesting how this excuses had me seemingly under control and what I do to give them this power to be true. Actually I dismiss my feelings instead of honoring and appreciate them. Yes expression is everything and yes it is true “that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people…” and it is on me to let this happen by not dismissing what I feel in every moment.
Gabriele one of the things that I love about your blog is that when you gave yourself time to express to yourself how you felt (the sadness and then your realisations which came afterwards) you felt spaciousness in your body. It seems that the body loves us when we allow ourselves to feel.
Even in how we hold ourselves, how we hold our bodies can express how we truly feel or our expectations on how we should be as I have just learnt throughout the situation I experienced while reading this blog. Because I was holding myself to this expectation of getting involved with another I felt how rigid I had become. It’s like I expected myself to be the saviour of the moment but my body wasn’t wanting anything to do with it! I can still feel the effect of how holding myself to being a certain way has but never before have I been aware of it like this before. I feel freer by asking myself how I feel about leaving the situation to them as in their own words have explained the situation, they know why there are in that situation so why do I need to jump in? It’s like running into a burning building when everyones already outside!
Gabrielle I was amazed that you also could have been writing about me in your blog! I have always questioned what I have to say (in my mind) is it what others want to hear? does it make sense to others ? is it important enough to mention? Until recently I have done the same so no one gets to know who I am,, what my opinion is what makes me tick, and I often have felt a sense of frustration with myself for not sharing. Now since joining the Expression Group I get to express everyday.
Quite incredible really that we can share the same inhibitions and limitations but never question them and accept them as ‘normal’, as a normal part of life. I certainly did until I was introduced to the Ageless Wisdom through the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Dear Gabriele I so love your blog here…it made me smile the way you are expressing is truly amazing!!! So authentic and I can so relate to it and also have just started my way into expressing no matter the outcome 🙂 thank You so much for sharing this with us – in the way you did…again I love it and truly appreciate it ❤
Gabrielle, I can totally relate to how you felt about expressing, or not expressing. Reading your blog has reaffirmed this truth for me “What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.”- thank you
Powerfully expressed Gabriele, thank you. Those lists you shared of why not to express I’ve held on tightly to for myself also, this blog is of great support and inspiration to get rid of them.
I love this blog Gabriele, I can relate to all your excuses as to why not express, I have used them all and still do at times. I am endeavouring to not allow these stories to have the upper hand and to express regardless of how it may seem to others. Still a work in progress and every time I express in full and feel the spaciousness this affords my body I feel inspired to keep getting myself out of the way and express, express. express.
I love the list of realisations that you came to Gabriele, thanks for sharing these. As I read them I could feel pressure lifting, it’s amazing how much expectations, beliefs and ideals we can put on ourselves that hinder our natural expression and flow.
It feels as though we are very willing to shackle ourselves in whichever way and then accept this debilitated state as normal.
I agree Gabriele we find many excuses to “shackle ourselves” because once we start expressing we stand out and are seen by others. Starting to express means to take responsibility for myself and all others. The more I express the more I see and feel how much more needs to be addressed and said wherever I am at home, at work and in a training.
Me too Fiona – I love the list as well and I’m also sure, that there are so many beliefs and ideas around this topic and it is really time to expose them, Because if we have these beliefs, they control us in the background and then we are not able to express, which is very harming to our body.
Gabriele, I could feel the clarity and the freedom of your expression as I read what you wrote; how from many times of holding back you now embrace the opportunity to express what you feel to be true. I can relate to so much of what you have shared, an inspirational reminder that yes: “Expression is Everything” – three words that have changed everything for me – thank you Serge Benhayon, and to you Gabriele for sharing your beautiful expression.
I love returning to this fantastic blog Gabriele. “What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.” Such a beautiful simple way to express exactly what needs to be at any given time. Thank you.
This is an important point Kelly that at time we feel something which other people avoid looking at or not see. So it is important to express it even if the group does not clap applause or jumps up their seats in enthusiasm. But never less they hear what needs to be said.
Expressing ourselves is so crucial, and I find that the more I express myself, the more space I have in my body and the more “settled” I feel.
The more we express in a moment the more natural it becomes in the next moment to express…it is natural like breathing…
yes, it is and will be again – and as far as our overall health is concerned, expression is as important as breathing, they keep us connected to the all we are a part of.
I love the bit about letting go of what you express needing to be ‘something big’ important, dazzling, quotable. It places such immense pressure on ourselves and totally limits what we can express, which is just what we feel. I too have felt the hurt done by going along with the group consensus and the damage this does. It’s just about being free in yourself to accept what you feel and express that with no expectations of what happens next.
It is great Vanessa to let go of expectations or wanting in a certain outcome with what we say, rather simply to offer what we feel and this has always an impact but is sometimes not so visible.
Yes, work in progress but so very important. Isn’t it incredible, all these layers and shades of judgment, comparison, old hurts and fears going on in the background? And that goes right across the board – the actual verbal expression sits on top and at the end of a whole chain of emotions and private deliberations; it’s a miracle that there is understanding and communication between human beings at all.
I agree Lucy – the contribution of each person is so important. Only when everybody expresses, the whole picture of something can unfold.
This is beautiful what you have expressed and something I am sure many can relate to, including myself. No one should ever stay silent, this is what I am learning even if it sounds stupid .. say it. Not expressing actually harms us and our bodies.
I loved Gabrielle’s article and there was a big ‘aaah’ at the line where she said ‘what I have to say does not have to make sense to anybody else’. Nor do I have to explain or prove anything. In the past if people didn’t get it, and asked for more, I’d waffle on and it didn’t work.Now i say ‘thats what I feel’. Its a bit like planting a seed, too much information (water) washes it away and it won’t grow. Little dribbles and it thrives.
Great image – when we waffle, justify and make excuses it is like a torrent of water that takes everything with it and drowns it out; when we just express what there is to express it is like a gentle dribble, the seed stays in place and can develop its potential.
I could also relate to the part about repeating something over and over because at first to me it felt like that was it, how could they not understand!? it was so clear! But the analogy you’ve used Catherine is spot on, if we keep waffling and going on and on the other person doesn’t get to sit and digest the original expression. Our expectations then can poison what was expressed and that had the potential to grow by demanding an instant result from the other. A good lesson it acceptance of another’s choices comes with this as I am learning.
I agree Vicky and i had situation where i asked something which didn’t make sense in a group. And later i appreciated myself for it. I rather express at times something which is not clear or makes sense than holding myself back in my expression because of the fear it is not good or intelligent or what ever. We don’t have to be perfect and never will be. But we are all here to learn to express as much as we can 🙂 when ever we feel there is something to say.
Yes, self censoring does not work and stops us from learning and developing; after all, we don’t smack a child because they haven’t learnt to walk in a day, do we? Why do we come down so hard on ourselves at times? Why not give ourselves the same space that we accord a young child?
We are all here to learn and to be hard on ourselves or on others does not help in anyway. Chris James told once in a seminar “Go out and make mistake” and that is a great motto to have…
Very true Vicky – when we don’t express we bury our issues deeper into our body, hence very harming.
Gabriele: truly amazing, timely and super supportive blog. What you have realised is something worth quoting for everyone as that is it. You have supported me to also connect to these realisations, exposing the need to “sound” amazing or be approved as an ideal.
This is a perfect blog to have stumbled across this evening, having only just come to the realisation and acceptance of the fact that I can no longer hold back my expression for fear of being wrong, or exposing the truth of how I am living. It is only by being willing to risk making what I think are ‘mistakes’ that I can let go, and not hold myself in such a tight bind, constantly judging whether or not it is acceptable to say what I feel to say, and how it will be received.
Expression is a biggie for me and something I practise with every day. As a child I have started the pattern of eating things when I did not express what I felt in myself and/or around me. This pattern is still in me, subtle at times, sometimes less subtle….but it is still in my body.
Yes, we go to extraordinary lengths to push down and back what is there to be brought out, even and especially with food – but to have the awareness of this pattern feels like a mighty step in the right direction already.
Expression is truly Everything! Everything we say, do and think is expressing something to others, so if we hold back and not say anything are we not then expressing an agree-ance to something we deeply felt was not true?
Good point, and yes – by not expressing how we truly feel we do end up agreeing to things that we know are not right or true or decent even, thus perpetuating the general discontent and unhappiness.
This is such a great point, I often think it is ok to wait with expressing something but really the effect of that stagnation in expression can be quite huge, in my body but also for everyone around me at the same time.
I loved reading this blog Gabriele, because I too have held back my expression for fear of upsetting another, or not wanting to be rejected, or to not feel jealousy from another, etc. I also know the spacious feeling as well when I allow myself to express in full, holding back doesn’t serve me or others and creates a nervous tension in my body.
There are countless times I have totally dismissed how I have felt in order to ‘not rock the boat’ or worse still, think that I don’t know anything or others know more then me because they sound like they know what they are talking about… It comes with such a sting to ourselves I wonder how we ever got into the habit of dismissing how we feel.
The habit of dismissing how we feel – where does it come from? Could it be that being willing to rock the boat or making others a little uncomfortable doesn’t garner any praise or recognition in the first instance, possibly never and that we got a bit addicted to getting back from others and underwriting what we actually already know?
Sure thing, there is no praise or recognition in rocking the boat or making people feel uncomfortable. I have a deep pattern of wanting things to be cosy, nice, light and undisturbed. I am breaking that now, which takes some times, but step by step I can feel how freeing this is. I have an unique expression and I should not hold this inside. This not only hurts me, but in fact affects all of humanity.
Gabrielle what you relate is so familiar to me. For a long time I had known that I was living a lie, unable to express my true feelings for a variety of reasons. Expression is indeed everything and is very liberating when it comes from the body, it creates spaciousness and lightness that is so unlike the constricted feeling I know so well.
I have discovered (with a lot of support from Curtis Benhayon) what a humongous freedom it is for me if I have no attachment to people understanding or getting what I express and how it is only an offering and a choice for them to accept or not. Wanting people to get it or for things to be a certain way is a major impediment to my expression.
You make a very important point here – at the same time demonstrating how much more our every expression is than just mere words, how much else is in the true meaning of words and how loaded our communications can be, if not mainly are.
I was always worried that I was not well enough informed to express an opinion on many things. However if I come from my own experience then that is an expression worth adding to the conversation.
Yes, that feels true – the moment we speak from the body we are actually on firm ground and we know a lot more than we think we do.
You express so beautifully Gabrielle. This is very inspiring to read. I also have realised how much pressure I have put on myself to express, similarly to what you have shared. And how crazy it is that we reduce what we feel, and that we choose to dis-honour our connection to our essence. I love how you have highlighted that by not expressing, it simply does not just go away. I have found how holding back my expression is held and felt in my body as a contraction and a heaviness. This feels so unnatural in contrast to when I do express from simply feeling to share what I feel is true with no attachment to the outcome or response. I am learning that when I trust and appreciate what I feel, and express from this place, there is a feeling of expansion and lightness within my body as I realise the truth being shared and expressed is not truly mine but ours to feel and when I connect to this I find that there are no expectations or attachments to hold me back.
I like the points you are making Gabriele, I can relate to them very much and it is great to be reminded how important expression is, and after reading your blog there is no excuse left not to.
There is a seed planted possibly in most of us that stops us from expressing in full. The world as it is today is the tree that has grown from this falsity. I am aware that my power of expression can burn this seed to ashes and allow true love to be expressed amongst us. You certainly do this through your expression of this article, Gabriele.
This is a great blog, naming ingredients that I regularly use to season many a conversation (or lack thereof). I know I need to express, and have felt how important it is no matter how awkward or unknowing I might in describing it when I start… its the consistency in doing this that will build my true expression.
What an awesome and confirming blog that shows how important and valued our expression is. I too have often held back my expression for many of the above reasons but the more I open up to the fact that our expression is needed the more I feel I am beginning to recognise I can no longer hold back who I am and what I feel. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully Gabriele!
Awesome blog, Gabriele! I can relate much to your reasons to not express. I have found that not expressing is rather painful in my body, like something gets stuck. In expressing everything inside stays flowing and when expressing in full it feels like I am expanding. I am experimenting a lot with expressing and also found that I can sometimes hide behind another in a group (thinking: oh she is always so good at that, she will say it). No more excuses, more expressing and experimenting to go.
Hi Gabriele, I have returned to your blog and am amazed how there is again another deeper reflection of what you say. I myself had been in a situation of holding back in a group and than to see how situations constellate so that you can feel how what you have been holding back does not go away. This was very confronting but also a huge learning and even more I clearly felt the support that was there for a new opportunity to express and how everything just falls into place exactly how it needs to be when we do express, without a need for perfection, fixing or anything like that.
I couldn’t agree more – what we hold back does not go away and neither do the hurts that we haven’t healed. So it is one step at a time, step by step.
Thank you for your blog. The funny thing is, is that at the end of it I went to comment and held back and trying to say to myself- “I have nothing to share” – When all I wanted to say was thank you for expressing your thoughts and invaluable realisations. Another aspect I felt when reading your blog and really connecting to people’s comments also, is quality. Feeling the quality of people’s expressions. I also know that expressing my truth leaves me feeling complete, fresh and strong ~ A joy-full expansion. Whereas not expressing is the opposite, and usually involves a stewing over the past.
Yes, I have found that also – not expressing leaves unfinished business and that then leads to a busy and dis-embodied mind, running its own show.
Gabriele what was so incredibly clear to feel was that when I read your original list of reasons why you held back in expressing, ‘you’ were not there, no where to be seen in fact, and yet when I read your second list of reasons why it’s always ok for you to express, there ‘you’ were, in fact ‘you’ were all over it!
Yes, I get it – the first list is a sequence of mental reasons, prejudices and opinions and the second one, the reasons why it’s okay for me to express, is felt and written from the body, lived experiences from all of me. Thank you for pointing that out.
Thank you for this blog Gabrielle. Your realisations are beautiful and they inspire me again to not hold back because other might not agree or have very convincing arguments. It is about honouring what I feel first and foremost that will create trust in your own expression.
Very true Gabriele, expression is everything. I had issues with expressing myself for many years, I ended up bottling it all up inside of me and only saying what didn’t upset anyone. This doesn’t work as eventually your health and well-being begins to suffer. I have been inspired to express more in my life recently and the way I feel now is completely different, it has supported me in so many ways. I know with every cell of my body how true the saying ‘Expression is Everything’ really is!
Gabrielle thank you for sharing these aspects of what holds expression back and what brings it forth. I’ve just experienced the bringing forth of saying what I needed to say after sitting and brewing for 12 months. As you say it is about what it is that is true for me, and not letting all the other head chatter get in the way. And yes there is more spaciousness in my body for expressing what I needed to say that supports truth. A clarity comes for observing the whole picture I discovered. This doesn’t mean a mutual understanding was reached or an out come was achieved…there wasn’t. Speaking up has allowed my body to rest deeper without the mental angst of thinking about the situation, and with that a great overall understanding of how it is for others is much clearer. I can accept that is how they feel without making my self any less and them any more.
Thank you Gabrielé. I love reading about blogs on expression. Such an important subject to me now. Expression is everything! I honour it as if it is everything. Choosing those right words that are it.
Due to my deep lack of self-worth, I too thought my expression was not worthy. However I was wrong. It’s everything in your day – it makes my day.
Connection to my body supports the quality of my expression. I honour and allow what is there to be expressed – It’s the ultimate joy to express what I’m feeling. Celebrating all day everyday through my expression.
Me too Rik, I can read blogs about expression every day because it is such a big part of our day. Our day is one big expression and every day I learn so many new things about it. I am on an appreciation program with mysefl now for three weeks and I appreciate every day my expression and what I learn. Just like you, celebrating!
Expressing something to appear smart or clever is almost a default for me but I can feel the pressure in that, how intense it can be to try and be entertaining or profound. It is quite different to just express as a natural way, not for any other reason than to be honest and clear and say how we feel, what needs to be said.
Well said Stephen – the simple truthful expression is the key and not how clever I might try to be, or what fancy words I use.
This is a wonderful blog Gabriele and this really cemented in me so much truth and elevates how I choose to express now. ” What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.” Thank you so very much.
Gabrielle, I had to come back and read your blog again today, to savour it once more and feel it’s depths. If it is felt it is there to be expressed and often I’ve not expressed and given way to convincing arguments (often from my own mind) and yet I know and feel what is true, and when I don’t express it does come back and life once again offers the opportunity to express the truth it never stops. And you know what it’s about speaking truth for all, it’s not for us, we’re vessels through which truth can be spoken if we choose to live in a way which allows it. We see this so often with children and now I’m re-learning this as an adult, to be my natural truthful self.
I loved reading your very honest blog. I think we all have our own recipe of points that make us not express what we feel, water it down or deliver it in a way that doesn’t represent the purity of the feeling we had. As I read your list I could feel how I expect to have what I feel dismissed or ignored. I could also feel an old pattern of wariness of expressing something from heaven and having people turn their backs on it. I could also feel a need to get it right. However like you, I am finding more and more that I need to express regardless of what happens after I speak. I am left with the contentment that I allowed myself to feel and having nothing left incomplete.
Yes, I have found this as well – even though there might have been a fear of some form of reprisal, it doesn’t actually matter at all once I have expressed truthfully. The expression itself was all that was needed and not any consent, recognition or accolades.
Thank you Gabrielle, I am also learning a lot about expression from Universal Medicine. One of the main things is that if you feel that something is not right, others will feel it as well. You don’t have to know the answer but if you can describe how you feel to others, that honesty leads to truth. Also by not expressing it keeps you locked in a particular mindset that never gets exposed. Now I am finding when I do speak up this mindset is revealed, and with communication with others, I learn about myself, and my attitude to life.
No matter which style or flavour in life there seems to be a running thread of having to join in with whatever group we may have around us at any one time. Be that the family, the work place, school yard, on the train etc it’s like there are unspoken (sometimes spoken) rules about how to express around each other. None of these rules contain ”stand by your feelings and how you want to be in life”. Recently I have experienced that when I don’t express how I feel – be that to say something or do something a certain way, the moment I hold that back it starts to spin inside me. Conversations of what I wanted to say repeat over and over in my head and tasks are as well repeated in circles of wanting to or wishing I had done things differently or the self-bash of not having followed my initial feelings. What I am finding is that self-acceptance does play a part in self-expression and that I have found that if I am moving in a certain way before the feeling that leads to the expression then however I move affects how I express. Great example being: If I get stressed, I walk harshly in a certain way – desperate to do something like eat to stuff the feeling down. If I catch myself in that moment of walking harshly, stop, then I am more likely to go do something that supports me rather than buries whatever I am feeling.
Gabrielle, reading your blog today has been eye-opening. I know the ‘Is what I have felt actually true?’ censor you speak of well, and often that comes up when there is something to say that I know may be uncomfortable for me and others, but the big thing I see now on reading this today is that if it’s felt it’s true and it is there to be expressed. And more importantly it can be simple, just express it, it doesn’t have to be earth shattering or clever or change someone’s life. I’ve put such pressure on my expression to be this huge thing, and in the process ‘shut myself up’ effectively and complicated it. It’s simply to express in each and every moment and allow life to be as it is. I do not have to change anyone, it’s for me to express the truth I feel in each and every moment. Thanks Gabrielle. This is a blog to be savoured.
What a great summary of all the reasons to freely express and so very practical and down to earth at the same time.
Yes, the expression “expression is everything’ is quite profound. And makes a tonne of sense.. The implications for holding back are incredible, it feeds a lot of self doubt for me. When explaining the quest, or not true, because it’s what we feel, and that’s not wrong, as for me, it’s now tangible… I guess it comes from many years of imposition from the world that has lead to no self trust and the shutting down of feelings and so no awareness of them. Then when we start to pay attention it feels foreign, and not true, as we haven’t had that basis before.
Refraining from expressing has been a long established pattern in my life. At first I shrank at the idea of having to post comments following the expression workshop. The long list you describe Gabriele is still running riot in my head but as I take more steps towards expressing I am moving forward while feeling the importance of doing so and sharing with the world. It does not matter that what I write does not make sense to some or is badly written, it is my contribution and it can only get better as I open up to the world.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with expressing your feelings Gabriele Conrad. I know this inner sensor too and have allowed this censor to control my expression for a long time in my life. Now I know and do feel that holding back my expression withholds everyone from the information I have received to share with the world through my unique expression by the way I am living my life and that can only be expressed by me. My feelings are not given to me to the benefit of myself but are given to me to serve humanity as a whole.
Yes, we support and nurture each other when we express what needs expressing rather than hold back.
I love your writing Gabrielle I can relate to all you have shared. I also had the feeling that what I felt was not worth saying, or needed to be brilliant or funny or no one would listen. I love your list, which shows how false this is. I shall remember this, thank you.
“It is actually all very simple. I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even.” – I realise I have also put this expectation on myself Gabriele. Great blog and I can relate to it completely.
Yes, looking at it from this angle makes it clear how crazy these expectations are that we put on ourselves and how we can use them to not express and stay silent.
Thank you Gabriele, this is an area in my life that I too have had to reclaim for myself. Because when you hold back from expressing the message to the other it is saying negative things to them; that they are not smart enough to know…or they are not worth saying what needs to be said. It creates and concretes separateness, and does not feel binding as equal.
It’s a great topic Gabrielle as holding back our expression seems to be a global epidemic that then results in all sorts of issues, build ups, tension, unresolved feelings and the list goes on. I have had many experiences where I have held back my expression for all sorts of reasons and it has felt awful in the body. Then there are other experiences where I have fully expressed and the expansion in my body is amazing and light. So I do agree that ‘Expression is Everything’ and is something I am constantly working on to unfold so that the world gets all of me in full.
I am dazzled by the simplicity of knowing that nothing ever has to be perfectly presented or make waves for us to be expressing
Knowing that and I am not daunted to come up with the perfect quote, or even fully understand what it is I am trying to convey… just that the expression of what I feel is important, and not to bottle it up and play nice.
Beautiful Gabriele, I can relate to everything you say and how important it is to not hold back from expressing, and all the learnings that come from it.
Gabriele with each day that passes I feel a deeper understand of the fact that expression is everything. My experience recently had been that, by starting the day with the intention and commitment to expressing honesty and truth, my whole day unfolds completely differently to simply doing life, getting through things etc. Of course true expression is not common and certainly not nurtured growing up so it’s an ever evolving experience, something that I’m actually starting to really enjoy. Through expression I now understand everything can change,
I agree, expression from our fullness and without attachment to an outcome is the true change agent, over time – maybe not even in our time. But so be it.
I loved reading all your realisations Garielle. They help me realise I am not alone.
I attended Universal Medicine’s “Expressions and Presentations” workshop yesterday, so when I saw the title of this article, I had to read it. I feel that many of us can relate to what is presented here by Gabriele in this article. However, after yesterday, I know now that what I feel is “a part of the whole” and if it is not expressed something else will get in and fill that gap. This is a huge revelation and I can no longer let this happen!
Gabriele, I went to an Expression workshop yesterday which re-imprinted the truth that expression is everything. When I am able to express in full it frees me from thinking about possible repercussions. So, as other commenters said, expressing gives us so much more time to live life in its fullness.
Yes, it gives us time and space to live and enjoy life rather than live in anguish and shrunk into a mute miniature version of ourselves.
I agree – when we express we are not bound to an unfinished situation or even several situations, and thus there is more space and time. Sometimes easier said than done, but definitely worth the ongoing dedication and commitment.
A brilliant blog and sharing Gabriele. Thank you for sitting down and writing it.
I can relate to much of what you have said, and also at times when I have clearly felt something, I have not spoken up at that time because of the thoughts and beliefs that I have allowed, such as – I am lesser, and much of what you have outlined.
It’s interesting because although anothers words or point may have some truth in it – if in the delivery, there is something else there behind the point, it changes it to feel not completely correct. I am working on refining this, bringing understanding and then just expressing what feels true, but also what does not feel true to me. And of course knowing that I am equal and my expression is also needed, without any holding back.
You are correct when you share about the spaciousness in the body. Expressing our truth definitely feels freeing and creates a spaciousness. I find that when we have honoured our feelings and given love more space to be then our body also feels more spaciousness as we are not carrying all the tension of what we have felt but not expressed.
Thank you for expressing this so beautifully Simone ‘The honesty in when people have honoured and expressed what they feel is like a breath of fresh air, gently blowing away anything getting in the way of intimacy.’
Hi Gabrielle, your sense of humor was lovely to just have a giggle at. To feel such spaciousness that you found something to do in writing a blog. Pure loveliness and all from expressing your truth. So does that mean expression allows us to feel more space within our day? And hence get more and more accomplished in our days? This may just be the key for productivity!!
Yes, it certainly allows for more spaciousness in the body and more space (aka time) in the day; after all, there is no bottled up expression clogging the body or the day.
Gabrielle – what you share here about all your fears and reservations is quiet common for a lot of people it seems. But I have been thinking more and more that if most people are always wondering what other people think about them, then they certainly have no time to think too much about anyone else. So it sort of seems like a waste of energy. I have started to let go of all this holding back and what if – and it gives me so much more time to appreciate myself and others. It is inspiring to read how differently you now share with the world 😉
This is such a support Gabriele – I have a keen understanding of what you present – I have often (most of the time) argued with myself that what I have to offer is not right, good enough, will cause a reaction, not dazzle enough, will be forgotten etc. So much wasted energy and mental craziness that it’s a wonder I have actually gotten to this point. It reminds me of the fact that we are taught to learn, by rote and repeat – nothing changes yet we somehow bludgeon our way through, the way that we always do things evidently just works. And yet reading this and feeling how different my expression is today is very powerful and I have still more to go. I have printed out your blog so that I can refer back to it when those thoughts skew what I truly want to say. Thank you for sharing this.
The way we are being taught and teach the next generation at present with a total emphasis on regurgitating by rote certainly has a lot to answer for when it comes to how constipated we all are around true expression, not forgetting that we have also swallowed this model hook, line and sinker.
Yes Lee, I agree with so much of you write here. When I was reading Gabriele’s new account of what expression is for her, tension dropped out of my body and I did a bit of a internal happy dance. It feels so freeing to think and express like this. But it takes commitment and dedication to those principles as it is quite the opposite on how we are taught/modelled on expression. Especially “What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else”. I know so many times I say something and I want to to make sense and for them to get it – so much wasted energy.
Absolutely Sarah, so much wasted energy in wanting them to get it and it causes me so much frustration. Why do I want people to get it any way, is it more true when someone does agree, do I want recognition or do I not accept where someone is, I am afraid to stand on my own.Pfff time to throw it all in the bin and express what I feel is true.
Thank you Gabriele, trust and allowing the true feeling that our body naturally feels as presented by Serge Benhayon “is always true“.
Gabriele when I read you explaining the lack of expression never goes away due to the sadness you felt in your body having not expressed, I realised when we leave something not expressed, that was there to be expressed, it leaves the situation incomplete and the situation does not become complete until when next given the opportunity to express that truth arises again and we express it leaving both the past and present moments now complete.
It i just interesting to observe what happens in the meantime, when all that has been unexpressed stays in the body and what that feels like. And what repercussions it has on how we feel within ourselves and how we are with other people.
I agree it is very interesting to observe what happens to our body when something goes unexpressed. It is like there is a double whammy. The first hit to the body comes in what was not expressed, how this lessens our expression and in turn us, and the felt repercussions of this. The second hit, sometimes a bit more elusive, is the drain on our body having not expressed what was there to be expressed. It is like we have a situation not completed that there is a part of us lagging behind draining our energy and life force until the opportunity comes again once again to express what we have held back. As I write this I realise I could write an essay on all the snowball effects of not expressing, it is huge.
Absolutely Gabriel and Toni. Toni I love what you have outlined below. As you point out and, because we are forever going around in circles (as the Earth is literally rotating back to the same point) we are blessed with the beautiful opportunities of when that similar situation comes around again for us to express what we have held back.
So true Gabriele. When I leave things unexpressed it literally feels like I’m poisoning myself.
There is so much held in when we don’t express. I find that if I don’t express myself (and I have a lot of experience of this) then I tend to build up a lot of judgement of my self and others inside, and a lot of internal dialogue/monologue that goes in circles and can become quite destructive to ones mental health. Whew…so much better to just speak, write, dance, sing, draw, move or whatever comes naturally that allows what is inside to come out and be shared and seen/felt/heard…
Thank you Gabriele for opening the lid on this in your unique and quite exposing way.
I agree Paul. A lot of internal dialogue does happen when we don’t express and it is exhausting. I find that a lack of expression creates a heavy not spacious body, which then creates and feeds into our mind to be full of unnecessary and unhealthy dialogue, that for me can feed any beliefs or ideas that I have that I am lesser than an other, when in fact I know deep within that we are all equal and we all play our unique part in the whole.
Thank you Paul and Gabrielle for sharing about the critical voices and judgment that goes on in the mind, it is so debilitating where does it come from? How I feel about myself? It feels as if these critical thoughts are a roadblock not allowing true expression to pass. A critical voice that has nothing constructive to contribute, if I pay it no heed there is nothing stopping me from saying what I feel.
Thats a great way of looking at it Paul, the internal dialogue of not expressing muddies the waters in our body, makes me less energised, even sluggish and far less clear than I would otherwise be. All from not saying what comes so easily to a 4year old, sharing what is in my body. It is a skill that adults de-practice, if that were a word. We go from having it naturally to giving it up so we fit in.
You have nailed it Paul. As Gabriele’s account proves, we don’t have to have the ‘perfect’ answer to make it worth sharing. We are all the ones that suffer when the cap is placed on our expression. And as you say the non-expression of it feeds the bad thoughts we get about ourselves.
I can so relate to the internal dialogue..very tiring and draining. when I have that, I know it is a sign that I did not express…thank you Paul for sharing.
Your expression is brilliantly expressed, Gabrielle. Thank you for turning the light on for me! Truly awesome.
Thank you for your expression Gabriele. As you have expressed here, this is a work in progress for me, trusting to express what I feel and not looking for the recognition or reward having expressed. The more I express the easier it becomes to express.
You described me Gabrielle. My awareness about expression is steadily growing. I very recently expressed my feelings of frustration at work. This unleashed some fairly strong reaction despite the fact that there was no aggression on my part. I was simply looking for clarification. I do not regret speaking up. I agree with you it gave me a feeling of expansiveness afterwards.
Yes, I agree. The important thing is that expression is about what is asking to be expressed from the body and not from any need or desire to have things or circumstances be different. The moment that is sensed, other people then feel imposed upon and hemmed in and they also have been deprived of the opportunity to truly ponder on what has been presented.
Thank you Gabriele, your article brings to my awareness that holding back expression because I am invested in a result of how others should respond to me does not serve others or myself.
Hi Gabriele, I also have had a lot of self doubt around expression so I can totally relate to what you have written, but I am now feeling the benefit and importance of expression on myself and people around me.
I really loved this blog Gabriele, it really resinated in me and I could feel that even now at 4pm all the things that I wanted to say during my day haven’t gone away and are actually still sitting there.
Yes, these ‘things’ being energy don’t actually go away, do they? Just imagine what that does to the body after say, 20 or 40 or even more years of swallowing back down what needed to be expressed.
Gabriele I sooo relate to what you are saying. Thank you so much for not holding back and sharing your experience and your insight.
Gabriele, I appreciate your honest reflections about all the self-doubt around expressing. I can relate to this. I love how you then blow these out of the water stating what is actually true about your/our expression. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else or need another’s approval or to convince. It just simply needs to be firstly felt and then expressed as what we feel is always true.
This is great Gabriele. All of us expressing is essentially what’s going to start to make a difference in the world. Holding back means many things – but one of them is that all other people get to miss out on the sharing of ones feelings if they go unexpressed. This is the sadness as well. Freeing ourselves to just say what’s on our mind even if it’s “wrong” is the way forward. Express, express, express – every day!
I feel when I don’t express what I feel it is the start of giving up. A giving up on myself, the other and life, wow I never have felt this so clearly. Thank you Gabrielle for the space to write this comment.
The giving up in that is huge, and it keeps compounding and contracting the body when we don’t express. It is like we give up on ourselves and the world.
Gabriele I can relate so much to your blog. I feel how expression is everything the more I study the way of the livingness. I find expression extremely challenging and have had all the same thoughts you wrote about in your blog. I also feel the depth and importance of commitment I need and am having with myself, to practice expression in all I do.
I love what you have shared here Gabriele as I can very much relate to it and know of many who struggle with the same self-doubting and belittling thoughts. But these thoughts are in the end only thoughts that keep us small and let us not stand in our true might. If there is something that is there to be expressed it is there for the all to hear.
Wow Gabriele, very well expressed, I can relate to your blog in so many ways.
It is an absolute joy to share in the way your expression is evolving and thus allowing all who read it to also feel the blessing of it.
Every expression is a part of the whole and with every expression we are richer.
Thank you Gabriele for this very revealing blog, a great read. I like you, have sat and held back for all the same reasons. I feel I am just starting to let this go and truly express from what I feel with still some glitches. The more I appreciate myself the less that old stuff gets in the way.
You make a very revealing connection between expression and appreciation here, Paul. I hadn’t thought of it before, but it makes perfect sense. The more I truly appreciate me, the less I am inclined to dismiss myself as having nothing to contribute and nothing to say.
Thank you Gabriele for expressing so eloquently a dilemma that is so common, how we put the expectation upon ourselves and the realisation of the truth. Very supportive.
The more I express, the less resentment and judgements I have towards others and myself. And the more I do it, the less fearful I am to say what I have to say, because I know it comes from a truer place, not a pent up emotion.
What I find very common when I need to express is that I just reacted to something. I then have to re-connect to myself before I can actually express (say something usually). Expression is easy for me when I am not in reaction so the key for me is to observe and not to react.
Good point. In reaction there really is no true expression, just a dumping and an aberration in the many forms it can happen. I have found that once I have reacted I have an agenda of some sort, even if I am not aware of it at the time.
A good lesson to learn Christoph and a great reason why Gabriele. Thank you both.
Yes good point Christoph and Gabrielle, when in reaction my expression comes laced with the way I want the situation to turn out, usually from my head, and when I express without reaction my expression feels to come from my whole body and there is a flow and absoluteness to it.
Thanks Gabriele that was awesome to read. It gave me a chance to look at all the lists I have for myself, which were very similar to yours. I can feel the set I’ve put myself under to stop my expression. Putting labels of perfection on myself, and ridiculous expectations. My latest awareness I’m working on is to appreciate, celebrate and confirm my expression in every way I express it.
And I would like to confirm your expression as well and also keep outing this insidious and undermining belief in perfection and its unattainable tenets.
Gabrielle, this is gold, Thank you! I can relate to your sharing a lot, I too have lived most of my life holding back what I feel in my body not trusting it and also thinking that what I feel is not worth sharing with others. Since I started attending Universal Medicine I understand how expression is everything and the more I allow myself to express what I feel the more space and flow I feel in my body, which is truly amazing!
I found myself being distracted and had to re-read several parts of this blog – not surprising that what you share with us is very much a core tenet of my choice of behaviour, particularly in a group.
Learning to express how I feel (ie what I am feeling – and not the mental construct of why or how I am feeling it) with no expectation other than simply sharing my truth in a given moment, is a lesson I feel is worthy of practising over and over.
What I now also experience is that if I hold back in expressing, I risk getting a headache which can be so heavy that it feels like my head will explode. This is because I have felt it in my body, but did not express and I then literally take it into my head and keep thinking about it …
I am sure that this feels quite awful, but on the other hand – isn’t it amazing that your body is supporting you in this way and showing you very clearly when you are not honouring what needs to be expressed? And doesn’t it also demonstrate how poisonous that is to our being?
Yes Gabriele, that is very true. And it is a whole different approach when I look at the headache as a way of my body supporting me in my expression. Thank you for that.
By expressing we can develop being a true reflection for each other. There is no such thing as perfection, as I also often had: it has to be perfect, otherwise…!
By expressing we help each other evolve, which is actually the only thing we are here to do.
Coming to the realisation that what you feel to express doesn’t need the approval from others is beautiful Gabriele, instead of allowing the self-doubt in and then holding yourself back and being hard on yourself for not claiming what you felt to express.
It is crazy, isn’t it? Looking for the approval from others so that we may express – no wonder there is so much resentment and animosity even between people, it just doesn’t make sense.
I love the humour at the end of this blog, “so much spaciousness that I even went looking for something to do and wrote this blog.”
I can relate so much to what you have shared, Gabrielle, as I, too, can and do so so easily censor myself. And like you have discovered that what I feel is of value and the spaciousness when I do express and is a process I am still learning to trust.
This hits the mark completely Gabrielle – I too convince and cajole myself out of what I have felt – the judgments are often overbearing and can push my feelings – as clear as they are – away. This is a great expose on how we allow the thoughts of old patterns and beliefs to disrupt the natural order and flow of expressing feeling expressing feeling. So very simple.
So much of what you say rings true for me, Gabriele. My expression has been limited by my need to be recognised and approved of by what I say to others rather than by how I contribute simply from how I feel……I realise that I don’t actually stop and feel within myself, my body first before I speak, yet I usually do if I’m writing, it’s as if it’s somehow safer! So it seems to me it is a self-judgement issue – I’m capping myself before I even start to express, fearful of being taken the wrong way I over- emphasise, repeat myself and try to sound ‘right’ so I may fit in and feel acceptable. As you’ve written, what I feel is always true and so I am, through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, developing trust in the truth that is felt in me by expressing from my body first.
Thank you, Gabriele. Awesome expression. I love your downright honesty and simplicity. I can totally relate to your list of ingredients, and a scenario you have presented, and the sadness felt afterwards. A pattern I find myself often fall into is to wait and see what the others have to say first: if what I had felt was not in agreement with it, I judge myself for not getting it; if I was in agreement, I tell myself there’s no need for me to express – either way I am denying myself a rightful space. That’s actually quite devastating to feel.
It is devastating, you are quite right. We basically silence ourselves and we deprive others of our contribution and the deepening relationship with each other that we could otherwise so easily have.
I see what you are saying Jinya, “expression can only come from firstly allowing myself to feel and then honouring it”. The key is the feeling and honouring what one feels. Then it is much easier to actually express. It is an ongoing cycle between the 2.
I recognize the ingredients in this recipe list. And also the habit of repeating myself. Serge Benhayon and other Unimed students have been and are a great support in my journey in connecting back to my true expression. More and more each day I can feel what expressing brings to me and people around me and I feel so much Joy in the ongoing development with expressing everyday!
Ah, the cross of perfection! And what a cross to bear it is, I can so relate. Just to make sure that I haven’t missed anything, ticked all the boxes, left nothing unattended, rummaged around for all eventualities. Is that crazy or what?
That is such a great summary of how it all works – and what doesn’t work. I love it.