“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People

I have heard Serge Benhayon say many times, “Expression is everything”, and have always felt it to be true. It has been presented in many Universal Medicine events and there have been many opportunities in the various workshops to feel into this, practise it with other people, and experience what a difference it makes to how I feel about myself, the world and other people.

More recently Serge Benhayon has even started explaining the connection between expression, time and space (Universal Medicine: The Way of the Livingness No. 5). And slowly and steadily I have developed myself out of a mindset that was stubbornly defending my particular kind of stoicism and the belief that what I felt wasn’t really worth anything, let alone saying it out loud.

But no matter how much sense something makes, change isn’t always easy. For example, there are questions I ask myself and put in the way between me and my expression and they go something like this:

  • Do people really want to hear how I feel about something?
  • Is what I have felt actually true?
  • Is what I have felt actually worth sharing?
  • What if people think I am an idiot?

And then there is this long list of self-imposed judgments and they go something like this:

  • What I feel is not important enough.
  • What I have felt and want to say does not make sense to other people.
  • What does not feel right to me only concerns me; other people don’t feel the same way.
  • What I feel is ridiculous in the eyes of other people, even the ones I am close to.

And then there are these niggling doubts as in:

  • What I feel is too embarrassing to express, it will expose me and make me look ridiculous.
  • Maybe my feeling was actually wrong and I better not say anything.

All this was put to the test the other day. I was in a group setting where a few people described a situation that had occurred a while back and I could clearly feel that what they were saying came with a hardness and did not feel right. But, following my own recipe as per the ingredients above, I did not say anything. Other people spoke in support of the original account and what they had to say made a lot of sense to me. Yes, it was very convincing and so I censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again – or so I thought.

The next day I received an email from another group member who, like me, had also not said anything when we had all been together as a group and when I had censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again.

Never to be seen again?

Not really… everything was opened up again. It had, of course, never gone away and I could feel an immense sadness in me ­– sadness about not having said and expressed what I felt I needed to say, regardless of the outcome.

What happened then was quite amazing: as I allowed myself to feel the sadness and magnitude of what had happened over the course of the afternoon, I realised that –

  • What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.
  • What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.
  • What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.
  • What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.
  • Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.
  • What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.

It is actually all very simple. I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even. And I had developed this habit of repeating myself when I thought that something I had said hadn’t been received the way I thought it should have been – just in case the other had missed something! And ‘something’ meaning how brilliant or clever it had been!

And now? With the support of Serge Benhayon and through the teachings of Universal Medicine, I am truly learning and beginning to appreciate and experience that expression ‘iseverything and that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people… I can feel a spaciousness in me – so much spaciousness that I even went looking for something to do and wrote this blog.

With thanks to Serge Benhayon, everything he stands for and presents, and to Universal Medicine.

By Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah NSW

491 thoughts on ““Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People

  1. Gabriele, I am so glad that, from your spaciousness, you went looking for something to do and wrote this blog, as you have beautifully highlighted many of my patterns around my lack of expression. I can relate very much to what you share about doubting my feelings, wondering if what I have to say would make sense to another, and a very ingrained pattern for me is to be scared that I will lose the train of thought of what it is I want to share, and will end up with egg on my face. Being now aware of the games I indulge in to justify withholding my expression, I have a choice as to whether I continue in the same vein, or I can choose to express what I am feeling without doubt or needing another’s consent.

    1. Better a smidgen of egg on the face than bottling it all up? And after all, we are in the company of people who are also learning, and that means all of humanity – sooner or later and at everyone’s own pace.

      1. What a great point Gabriele – worthy of remembering every single moment and this would neutralize any judgment of any comments: “we are in the company of people who are also learning, and that means all of humanity”. No one is greater or more important than another we are equal in our place and contribution to humanity.

  2. How I value and feel about myself directly relates to my expression, and how confidently I express myself or not through my body movements and when I am speaking. The more self-caring and tender I am the more joy I feel in my body and the impulse is there to express the truth of what I am feeling from this connection.

  3. What a beautiful inspiring blog Gabriele; I love it and can feel the truth and beauty of our true expression from this connection within and the magic of this everywhere. Having held back my expression all my life beginning to allow this is so freeing and expansive and allows a magic to flow.

  4. Gabriele, thank you. Reading this today allowed me to see a constraint I can place on another, I’ve taken on an idea that what I saw has to have some value or use to another and cannot just simply be an expression of how I feel, so in fact I can often contort how I feel to fit into what I think might be useful to another or serve some purpose or other. Now to simply express that is very different, there is no trying and I know when I do this life is so much simpler, but the habit of contortion is still there and reading today reminded me to unpick it some more and just simply express and be me, nothing else needed.

    1. Yes, I have also noticed this – there is an expectation of how something should be, turn out, lead to other things, be of a certain quality. This now feels very contrived and laboured, certainly the opposite of true expression, what you describe as ‘constraint’.

  5. Imagine if roses decided to hold back their expression and remained tight buds without ever opening up into full bloom and sharing freely the glorious beauty contained within.

  6. We are vessels of expression and to my experience when I discount this fact I am ignoring who I am from nature and with that am feeding my lack of self worth which in turn will cement that non expressive way of life into my body. I do know that this way of living brings a stagnation in my body and with that introduces illness and disease to it.

    1. It is certainly true that illness and disease start long before there are any physical symptoms and cementing non-expression in our body might well be the start of it.

  7. This is a really powerful blog – our expression means so much and we can put a lot of things in the way of it coming from our truth! Great to nominate some of those hindering mindsets here and offer greater space for our true expression to flow.

  8. Thank you for sharing this here Gabriele. It seems to me my life has been a journey of learning to express myself and I have come a very long way. However, I am still my own harshest critic – and even those projections of ‘what others may think of me’ is just a way of keeping myself down and in the ‘be seen and not heard’ box. What I would say is that it is a joy-full thing to be working on our own expression – and crucial too – for if ‘expression is everything’ then it affects all that we do and are in life.

  9. What I am finding is all those self imposed restrictions never get voiced – they stay in my thoughts, when they get a voice my body gets to feel their quality much more obviously. Doing this with the list of realisations you’ve shared I got to feel where my expression gets stuck – in the expectation that my expressions have to bring results and make changes that are instant. But life doesn’t work that way and by demanding change, problems to be fixed or offering solutions always backfires, doesn’t work or requires a lot of force to control which feels completely wrong to my body. Exploring the quality of my expression through how I feel is super powerful and goes to show that it is very simple as we have our own quality controller within our bodies.

    1. Yes, agreed – not only do “we have our own quality controller within our body”, it is our very body that fulfils this function admirably and without fail.

  10. I felt an immense sadness reading the start of this blog. How many of us censor ourselves for many if not all of the reasons you have identified Gabriele. Seeing it from the outside looking in, it is such a tragedy to observe anyone holding themselves back. The equality that is so naturally between us all is ignored and negated. I love the list that follows – all the confirmations of of why holding back is so ‘last era’!

  11. Thank you for sharing a great blog Gabriele, one I could well relate to, expression has always been difficult for me, for a start not knowing how I was actually feeling, then when I did share keeping it brief incase the person got bored by my sharing, in the past I have been a listener to other peoples talking thereby keeping myself hidden. I was in a group of people the other day and the friend I traveled down with was sharing about a small procedure she had had, I was amazed at the detail she went into and as I looked around no one looked bored. She also spoke slowly and with confidence. I was impressed as I sometimes rush the small amount I have to say so as not to bore people, I just realised it is just a way for me to keep myself small.

    1. That sounds like a great insight, another little trick of the inner enemy that tries to “keeps us in our place” and not be a nuisance or boring in the eyes of other people. So what if we sometimes might be or are? Would that be their concern or ours?

  12. The perfect article to read this morning as I prepare for a job interview. I can feel that to go trying to impress another is to go with a falseness and is in total disregard of my body. To stay fully in my body, with acces to the joy I hold brings a spacious feeling of quiet confidence in myself, an expression, that no matter the result, is my truth. A space I choose to enjoy as I prepare.

  13. Expectations that we put on ourself can be such an impediment to the free-flow of our natural expression – and I can speak from experience too here! Serge Benhayon has helped me so much to build a deeper awareness of ideals, beliefs, pictures, expectations that I’d put on myself that were affecting the way I would otherwise lovingly be expressing. And this goes for more than just the words that I say or don’t say. It’s a work in progress and I feel like it always will be something that I’m developing and building greater awareness of.

  14. Like that one: “Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone”…just had the experience of meeting someone and observing how much I think I have to impress her. Say something very intelligent for example, and my body felt tense and my talking and mimicking was drawn up. When I started to give up on the mask and become more natural, I felt the anxiety about what she thought about me and what I say, I felt the anxiety of losing control over the conversation and what the other may think about me. This was good to observe. I did not judge myself but just observed what was going on and the next day when we met again and we talked I found myself a little bit more natural and detached from controlling. I guess it is a training… I will learn while I practice to let go of the rabbits and habits.

    1. Love that alliteration – rabbits and habits. And yes, no rabbits needed and habits get taken care of by honesty and awareness first, then understanding, practice and patience.

  15. ‘What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.’ If we taught our kids this at an early age, treated them with true equalness, it would make such a difference to the adults they become.

  16. “What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are” – this feels very important for me right now. Having suppressed and held back for so long, my expression may not come out right, but that does not mean what I felt was not true. I can feel how it is the self wanting to have the ownership of what is to be expressed that gets in a way of me allowing it to be there in full, spontaneously. If I am truly embracing and embodying the fact that I am a vehicle and the energy that I am choosing to align is what I am expressing – good or bad – sure, it would expose what energy I am then choosing to align to, but it wouldn’t matter how it would come out, would it?

      1. Worrying about how my expression would come out in itself exposes the fact that I am rather attached to being the owner of what I express rather than just knowing myself as a vehicle and being aware of and having a best go at taking energetic responsibility.

      2. I can very much resonate with putting an expectation on myself to be a certain way – and actually creating an issue where there is not one. In trying to take a kind of shortcut without looking at the very first choice I had been neglecting over life times, I wanted to be all expressive and loving and super-duper. It was never that I had an issue expressing myself, it was always about not making a choice to be love, knowing myself in full.

  17. I love this quote Gabriele truly inspirational – thank you: “It is actually all very simple.” If it isn’t simple then self-doubt has a foot hold, what a great indicator to call my-self back from the thoughts and simply say what is there to be said.

  18. Self censorship is the phrase that comes to me. Three years ago I experienced a situation that was problematic, but didn’t know what to do about it. I recall how difficult it was for me to express what I truly felt. My tendencies up to that point were ‘silence’ ‘padding’ truth with ‘niceties’ or reacting, all of which would leave me feeling disharmonious, frustrated and hurt in my body. I was shown that until I expressed what needed to be said clearly, without censorship, expectation or concern about how it was received, I would remain stuck in an old cycle. I took the opportunity and broke this pattern for the first time, supported by another, by saying what needed to be said honestly, clearly, without inhibition, fear or nervousness. The impact was immediate, profound and lasting. Above all, I learned that when we hold back from expressing truth, we hold back everyone.

    1. Self-censorship is the best word for it and your example shows that we don’t just thwart ourselves, we gag others as well.

  19. Without self-worth, we believe ourselves to be less than others and often seek their approval. Deferring to another is false: as it elevates them at our expense. Self-worth is building an inner connection with our true essence and taking tender loving care of ourselves until we truly feel our own worth and equal-ness to all others. And when we do, it’s as if we’ve truly come home and can be fully ourselves in every expression.

  20. Expression really is everything, it’s not just words – it’s energy. Our words, or our lack of words, is an energy, and energy can move things, change things, cut things, and always affects everyone around us. I wonder what a conversation, where we held back what we knew was true, would look like if we could see energy, and what a conversation when we spoke the truth would look like if we could see energy.

    1. What a great idea – what would it look like if we could see the chasm between people from what is left unexpressed, the turbulences created by lovelessness and disregard, the stagnation and blockages from holding back in our own body?

  21. ‘Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.’ This is a point that stood out for me. That silence we keep, just to avoid a further silence if what we have expressed is not agreed with or others make no comment on it. We have so many reasons/excuses for not speaking up.

  22. Learning not to sensor expression is possibly the biggest learning I’m having. Perhaps it is more true to say that I’m un-learning the censorship to my own expression. I know from experience it starts as an external impost from others, then from the tone that has been set I adopted the protocol and have kept it alive, brewing along, making what I feel second to any other person’s thoughts, opinions, influence and comfort. Thanks for a great insight and reflection to simply express what we feel is true for us.

    1. “Un-learning the censorship of your own expression” is a very apt way of putting it, thank you Sandra. It just occurred to me that the same thing happens with negative self-talk where we continually judge and criticise ourselves, this also being a form of censorship, of cutting down and negation.

  23. In the past week and a half I have been saying what I feel to say, rather than the recipe book of censorship that I have used diligently for 56 years. It is surprising the difference it feels to simply say when something doesn’t feel great and share it with the appropriate person/s concerned. This is has been a work in progress but worth every aspect that feels like ‘hard work’ or something to be avoided at all costs. Expression rocks, is the new black and expanding love in my life.

  24. Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine have helped me very much too, supporting me to re-connect with what I’m feeling and to express it. Now when I have self-doubting thoughts I’m much more able to recognise them and to consider what purpose they actually serve – is it helpful or is it just hindering?

  25. Having an expectation about the way we express puts a tension and pressure on ourselves to try to be something we are not, and it keeps us in our head so that we are not able to express from the truth we feel in our body which results in us suppressing our natural expression.

  26. Great blog, this is an inspiration for many people, as it is for me Gabriele. Thank you. Specially the line where you mention ‘not expressing because you doubt whether what you want to say is right’ has blocked me. But then again, we should also access whether the thing we want to say, does bring evolution or confirmation, and is not judging or degrading in any way, or just does not add value or is a plain recall to cover up our lack of self worth. That is our responsibility. This means for me personally that I should talk a lot less than I do right now.

    1. Yes, hard to know what’s worse – talking for the sake of talking or not expressing at all. And there being a difference between talking and expressing, of course. In both instances, either party suffer.

  27. Like you Gabrielle I am learning to experience and appreciate that expression is everything and that when I do express it makes a huge difference to how I feel. I am also learning to not be affected by the reaction or response to my expression, a work still in progress.

  28. Gabriele, I very much related to what you have shared here. There is probably not many that wouldn’t. I especially like… “What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval”. With no expectations or judgement, but with a developing trust in yourself.

  29. For me when we hold back expression what we truly know, we are holding back the next part of evolution, because when we hold back we stop being part of the whole and we need to be part of the whole to move forward, as everyone’s expression is equally important.

  30. The more I express what I feel the more love I feel in and of myself and for others, the more I want to repeat that experience again and maintain it. But should the consistency of ignoring my feelings come in and take up my expressions in the day they too try to convince that I should keep holding back and not expressing what I feel. One of the most beautiful things about developing a relationship with expressing how I feel is that when I don’t I get to feel the pain of making such a choice. It makes the choice of ‘Do I say something or not?’ very simple.

  31. I have learnt this too over the last few years whilst working with people in groups, what I feel does count and matter, it’s important to express what I am feeling and I don’t need to know the next or even have the understanding of why I feel the way I do, it’s just there and there to be expressed responsibly.

  32. I love how you say that what we express doesn’t have to dazzle people, nor gain their consent, approval or recognition! It gives grace to ourselves to speak what we truly feel and gives that same grace to the other person to take it or leave it, no imposition either way.

  33. This blog really shows that we all have something to share and that its important that we honour this. I can relate to many situations of holding back what I know to be my truth. When I have delivered it in the half truth it gets messy however when I deliver it in the full truth of what I feel it is often well received and offers everyone the opportunity to also express their truth.

  34. And I’m very glad that you wrote this blog Gabriele!
    We can place such mountainous expectation upon ourselves, and what a travesty it is when this holds back that which oftentimes, may be an acute awareness and sensitivity to things – an expression that will offer so very much to those who receive it.

  35. When it comes to talking, I am pretty forthcoming with expression and everyday my writing improves but sometimes these thoughts below do enter my mind.
    Do people really want to hear how I feel about something?
    Is what I have felt actually true?
    Is what I have felt actually worth sharing?
    What if people think I am an idiot?

    It’s inspiring to hear the result of what expressing yourself actually brought. I am yet to write a blog, so this is a great key to help me to continue to unlock the block, thank you.

    1. It feels like we need to rise above those self-sabotaging whispers; they don’t come from a true place but will muscle their way in, given half a chance.

  36. Getting it wrong has been a big one for me along with some of the other reasons you had cited for not expressing, coming to understand that getting it wrong is ok, was a big one, for through that experience the opportunity for much learning can follow.

  37. I love this Gabriele. You have laid out so clearly just how impeding it is to hold back on expressing what we feel. As soon as we question what we feel, doubt our sensibility or even what we are capable of, we instantly give up on confirming who we are, and give way to instead being fed thoughts that keep us from expressing and living truth, who we are and what we feel. Expressing our truth is just that – ‘ours’ to be shared, as it is a quality represents us all, a quality we all know, and ultimately it is our expression of universal truth that serves to free us all. It’s crazy just how much expectation we place on ourselves to essentially, simply ourselves and express what we feel – not just when we speak but also how we move ourselves through the day. This is I am still learning to master, but can feel greater freedom on my body and being when I do freely express without expectation, and the how far more honouring it is for all.

  38. Our particular angle regarding anything, our wisdom and lived experience is gold. Its value only increases as we are able to express and share it with the world. It is not such an easy process to get there and by sharing what we discovered, we serve other people.

  39. The more we learn about energy the more awareness we have in understanding the depth of truth in the words “expression is everything.”

  40. Expression for me has been something I have allowed many pictures to bombard and feel it has to be perfect before I express. This is just an old story that keeps me stuck and in delay, or I can begin to make steps and accept and appreciate that we all have something of value to express, learning to do this has been life changing for me.

  41. How gorgeous and very profound Gabriele. If we do not express what we have inside to express we to are missing out on the experience of expressing it! Whilst it sits there as a potential to express it is not a reality until we let it out. Humanity has so much potential we just need to choose to express it so.

  42. Ironically although we may not want to admit it expression is not a choice. We cannot choose to not express anything for we expressing even when we hold back it is still an expression. An expression that is like all our expressions, it can either support and confirm another to speak from their heart too or not.

    1. So true and great point – holding back expression is an expression by and in itself just as much as not making a choice is already a choice.

  43. So great to really take a look at what blocks we allow to get in the way and stifle our expression.. ‘is what I’m feeling true?’ is a big one, and so is ‘oooh that was awkward.. I don’t want to draw attention to that, to make that person feel even more uncomfortable’.. but when we allow ourselves to run with those thoughts, we get stuck in the same merry-go-round of nothing changing, everything staying the same, sweeping things under the carpet. Wanting to be liked and accepted is a major impediment that stifles our expression, because we either pretend we can’t feel something, or sweeten it so that it’s easier to hear, when most of the time people just want the truth that they know we can feel.

  44. I stopped on these lines Gabriele, ‘What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else. What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.’ as I got to feel very clearly how so much of how I express comes with justification and a need to be validated and seen as bringing value, rather than just expressing me and feeling and just being with what is there is be expressed, and living in a way that ensures we align to and express the truth of who we all are and where we come from.

  45. Gosh there are so many things we can hold on to about expression that are there to block and hold back what we feel. Protection is a massive one for so many these days so there is no wonder why expressing our innate fragility and delicate ness and beauty and hence inner strength is rarely an expression made by many in the multitude we make each and every day.

  46. So so true and the many lines that are said by us to us to stop anything being said or done can be endless. This article has highlighted a couple of my favourites and when I say favourites I don’t mean that they are great to use I more mean they are there straight away. I have been catching my internal critic more and more often and in place I have been appreciating what I have felt, truely appreciating and from this I have been supported to have more time and space to express. It is like the critic brings the walls in and you have no space while appreciating breaks them down and allows you are greater freedom.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s