“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People

I have heard Serge Benhayon say many times, “Expression is everything”, and have always felt it to be true. It has been presented in many Universal Medicine events and there have been many opportunities in the various workshops to feel into this, practise it with other people, and experience what a difference it makes to how I feel about myself, the world and other people.

More recently Serge Benhayon has even started explaining the connection between expression, time and space (Universal Medicine: The Way of the Livingness No. 5). And slowly and steadily I have developed myself out of a mindset that was stubbornly defending my particular kind of stoicism and the belief that what I felt wasn’t really worth anything, let alone saying it out loud.

But no matter how much sense something makes, change isn’t always easy. For example, there are questions I ask myself and put in the way between me and my expression and they go something like this:

  • Do people really want to hear how I feel about something?
  • Is what I have felt actually true?
  • Is what I have felt actually worth sharing?
  • What if people think I am an idiot?

And then there is this long list of self-imposed judgments and they go something like this:

  • What I feel is not important enough.
  • What I have felt and want to say does not make sense to other people.
  • What does not feel right to me only concerns me; other people don’t feel the same way.
  • What I feel is ridiculous in the eyes of other people, even the ones I am close to.

And then there are these niggling doubts as in:

  • What I feel is too embarrassing to express, it will expose me and make me look ridiculous.
  • Maybe my feeling was actually wrong and I better not say anything.

All this was put to the test the other day. I was in a group setting where a few people described a situation that had occurred a while back and I could clearly feel that what they were saying came with a hardness and did not feel right. But, following my own recipe as per the ingredients above, I did not say anything. Other people spoke in support of the original account and what they had to say made a lot of sense to me. Yes, it was very convincing and so I censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again – or so I thought.

The next day I received an email from another group member who, like me, had also not said anything when we had all been together as a group and when I had censored and banned what I had clearly felt, never to be seen again.

Never to be seen again?

Not really… everything was opened up again. It had, of course, never gone away and I could feel an immense sadness in me ­– sadness about not having said and expressed what I felt I needed to say, regardless of the outcome.

What happened then was quite amazing: as I allowed myself to feel the sadness and magnitude of what had happened over the course of the afternoon, I realised that –

  • What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.
  • What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.
  • What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.
  • What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.
  • Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.
  • What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.

It is actually all very simple. I could feel that all my life I had been putting this expectation on myself that when I say or express something, it better be brilliant or at least very useful or quotable even. And I had developed this habit of repeating myself when I thought that something I had said hadn’t been received the way I thought it should have been – just in case the other had missed something! And ‘something’ meaning how brilliant or clever it had been!

And now? With the support of Serge Benhayon and through the teachings of Universal Medicine, I am truly learning and beginning to appreciate and experience that expression ‘iseverything and that expression does make a difference to how I feel about myself, the world and other people… I can feel a spaciousness in me – so much spaciousness that I even went looking for something to do and wrote this blog.

With thanks to Serge Benhayon, everything he stands for and presents, and to Universal Medicine.

By Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah NSW

536 thoughts on ““Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People

  1. It is such a relief when we can let go of all the expectations on ourselves to be and express in a certain way in the world in order to get acceptance, approval and recognition.

  2. Understanding the phrase “expression is everything” is indeed very hard when we think we think, when we think we are the source of what we express. But the Ageless Wisdom also informs us that we are not a source and that we do not think, it is all coming through us and we are vehicles of expression. Our choice is which of the two possible sources are we going to choose to be a vehicle of?

  3. It is the lack of expression during the day that leaves us discontent at the end of the day, with all the behaviours that follow from such emptiness seeking any sort of stuffing.

    1. And stuffing is the correct terminology here – anything at all will do but doesn’t really, of course.

  4. What I feel is true… at least to me at the moment when I feel it. That´s the best way to start honouring what I feel or think for whatever reason. Without the claim or demand one is feeling to be the absolute truth for all times and everyone, it just is what it is for the moment and then comes the next moment where we may learn, realize and feel something else.

    1. Every moment counts and deserves to be honoured as it can easily and readily bring more awareness and new insights.

  5. “What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.” – This one is a big ‘Ouch!’ for me as well Gabrielle, and reveals just how much pressure I too have put on myself to look intelligent or witty to others, and how I feel like I have to be the one to fix everyone else’s problems and come up with the ‘solution’. But this way of living is not only not true, it is really exhausting!. I just love reading your honest account of realising the immense value of our expression and honouring our feelings, no matter what. I am slowly learning to trust how I felt even if I get it totally wrong, as it builds trust in myself and my innate ability to feel the truth in every situation.

      1. Perfectionism is a plague and a weapon that we like to use against ourselves – what is wrong with making mistakes and learning from them? After all, we don’t admonish toddlers when they learn to walk, or do we? And what is the difference? How come we expect perfectionism once we have grown up?

  6. I felt tension leave my body as I read your list of how expression can be. We can make it so complicated when really it is quite simple:

    What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are.
    What I have felt does not need to make sense to anybody else.
    What I express does not need to make anybody’s day, resolve a conflict or fix a problem.
    What I express does not need to be smart, clever, intelligent or convincing.
    Expressing does not mean that I have to pull rabbits out of the hat and dazzle anyone.
    What I express is simple, straightforward, true for me and does not need anybody’s consent or approval.

    It is then up to us to start living this, to the best of our ability.

  7. I’m really enjoying your blogs at the moment Gabriele. This blog being a great exposer of how ideals and beliefs get in the way of us expressing what is needed.

  8. Thank you, Gabriele. I can relate to this blog so much, both to the long list of reservations about expressing my truth, and also the joyful turn around in starting to express what I feel no matter what. Now that I have started, I cannot imagine withholding so much of myself ever again.

  9. We don’t need to justify what we feel, we are only here to express it. Sometimes it’s not easy but it is simple. I am noticing that the more I express, and push over the false walls of judgement about myself that i have built, then the more I want to express. I get a taste of how lovely it feels in the body and then I feel able to express more.

    1. And there is no need for or attachment to a certain outcome; the expression is what counts and it completes a situation and leaves us free to move on, without being drained by unfinished business.

    2. Beautiful, Simone. Yes, once we relinquish the self-judgement it is so lovely to start to speak what we feel, and every interaction becomes a fresh learning opportunity and exploratory playground.

  10. Sometimes it is worth stepping out and saying what can be felt, even if there is incredible fear of rejection or ridicule or whatever. The simplicity of your expressive voice and the movements of your body is what counts.

    1. Truth, love, harmony, joy and stillness, our divine qualities, are simple and we know them inside out because we come from that.

  11. This for me says it all Gabriele – ‘What I feel is always true…’. Our relationship with what we feel, with embracing truth, with our bodies is what determines the quality of our expression. For when we express the truth we feel, we are allowing the vibration of love to move us, reflecting this quality for all to see, hear and feel. I have found that it is only when we have pictures of what love is or how truth is meant to be expressed or received, that we hold back, hindering our movements, which also exposes our need for recognition and acceptance. For with every word expressed from the truth we know and feel from within, from our bodies, is a spark of brilliance bringing light to any situation along with freeing up the space for more love to be.

  12. What is highlighted for me here is that first and foremost are we standing by our feelings. That’s step 1. The next step is can we or do we allow ourselves to express what is felt? Step 2. If step 1 and 2 are in harmony that is amazing medicine.

  13. There is so much in this blog which makes sense to me, with regards to the pressure we put on ourselves and the thoughts of what others will think of us. It is so liberating to let all of that go and to get to the point where we do not have to explain ourselves to others or have them agree with us.

    1. We paralyse ourselves with all the expectations and self-imposed demands until we have been muted, have muted ourselves; with the exception of those moments when we can be reasonably sure that what we have to offer will be accepted if not welcomed with open arms – quite often a version of nice.

  14. When I first heard Serge speak about ‘Expression is everything’, I didn’t fully understand what he was talking about, it wasn’t until I began to make steps to no longer hold myself back and start expressing more, I then began to feel the ‘spaciousness’ you speak about Gabriele. Our expression flows more simply when we stay connected to our bodies and don’t allow the head to get in the way and lace us with pictures and ideals.

  15. To simply express, to not have it be a big deal, it changes the game really. I’ve often felt what I express needs to fit a particular paradigm, to be useful, to be witty, to be smart, to please another etc. … but in all this I’m putting a pressure or a picture on what I feel and what I can express, rather than just simply expressing. Something to more deeply explore here, to feel and express just as it is.

    1. The moment we have an agenda of some kind, everything gets distorted, no matter how benign we might construct that agenda to be.

  16. Like so many things that Serge says, expression is everything at first can, or so we can convince ourselves, be confusing but that is because there is a dishonest part of us that has long used lack of expression for its own agenda, maintaining individuality at all costs.

    1. Great point – holding back expression as a marker of waywardness, the unwillingness to contribute and thus, fostering the self = individuality at all costs.

  17. Something that really stands out to me, apart from the fact that I could tick the boxes for myself for all your reasons for not expressing, is that this way of shutting down and not saying anything is so pervasive. It’s like a worldwide epidemic that has been around for thousands of years. Come to think of it – how much of the world’s ills could be reduced or resolved if we had all been taught to express the truth from our bodies … Thankfully, it’s never too late for any of us to start truly expressing and enjoying every revelation along the way.

  18. When we deepen our connection with our bodies we will know when and what to express, I am now learning to trust this connection with my body, rather than the belittling dictates of my mind.

  19. The more we learn to feel the truth from within us and how everything comes from the energy we align to, the more we understand the true responsibility we have to move and express ourselves without compromise or holding back.

  20. I can very much relate to your list of questions and list of self-imposed judgments Gabriele. I find it interesting how much our thoughts get in the way of our expression. When it comes to expressing myself, often my thoughts win over what my body is telling me. My body is often screaming out, ‘express truth, express truth’ but because I have been giving more power to my thoughts I tend to hold back expressing truth. From this I can instantly feel the tension in my body and what happens next is the list of self-imposed judgments replays again and again in my head, this could go on for days until I choose to stop, observe what is going on, learn from my choices and be gentle on myself. This allows me to appreciate that the next moment is another opportunity to express truth and this space to express is always continuously available to us all.

      1. Yes, the heart is far more intelligent than what is contained to the space between our ears. And science is slowly catching up with what The Ageless Wisdom has always known.

      2. That is true, science knows the heart responds in a fraction of the time it takes the brain to register something, but although science has proven this, no one is taking it to the next step and exposing what this means about all our assumptions that the brain is where all our intelligence is and the heart is simply a pump.

      3. Is it (as yet) too scary to really go there? And if we did, and we eventually will, what would happen to our models of education, health care, institutionalised religion and daily life in general?

  21. I’ve felt very silenced as I have grown up over the years and expression was so huge that I could feel this lump in my throat when I wouldn’t express in full, then I’m left with this internal dialogue wishing I had said this or said that and in this I’m destroying myself……

    Since being a student and through the teaching of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, my expression has just gone to another level. My expression is more tender, more loving and simple, I don’t hold back like I used to.

    Now I am observing that there is another level of expressing I’m being offered to people of authority – its never ending but beautiful to observe and what is being offered….

    1. Same for me Shushila, my expression has deepened and expanded since I started to embrace and live the teachings offered by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. They have supported me to expand my awareness, to be more self-loving and gentle. I now recognise when I am in my self destroying mode/energy and I am able to stop, let it go, choose a more loving energy and learn from my experiences.

  22. “What I feel is always true no matter how convincing the arguments to the contrary are” – I love this and the points listed, they feel, so personal to me too. This ‘feeling is always true’ recently appeared between my partner and I and so lovely to observe how strong it felt in my body. Normally I would allow myself to be dismissed by the other but this time I honoured what felt true for me.

    It is a work in progress and I will continue to observe, feel and express myself in everything. No doubt I will stumble at times but know things are changing in my expression as I allow and give permission to express more.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s