At 62 my life felt as though it was falling apart. This feeling of inadequacy and not knowing how to deal with life had been present throughout my entire life. As a child I felt unable to take care of myself and to feel what was truly OK for me: I could not understand why it was so difficult to love and be loved. I spent my entire life looking for love.
This pattern continued until I was forced to change at the age of 47. I began to see that I did have choices in the way I lived and experienced life and with this I began to change the way I felt about myself. I tried various self-help groups and therapies and they all appeared to work for a short time.
However, when my mother died I knew I had reached a breaking point. When I was younger, I had turned to drink as a way to ‘get me through life’ and later on I replaced the alcohol with numbing out on television and films. At this time, numbing no longer felt like an option. I needed some help and support and so I booked a session with an esoteric practitioner.
I was introduced to the ‘Gentle Breath Meditation’ and over a few weeks, as I began to open up, I knew that I needed to know more. It was suggested that I read The Way It Is by Serge Benhayon.
These two things – the meditation and reading this particular book – gave me little moments when my body calmed down from all the restless activity that continually went on in my head. This subtly but profoundly began to change my whole life. I felt more connected to myself and to the world. It felt as though I now had some command over how I was in the world – a way ‘to be’, without constantly losing who I was.
Within a year of my first session of Esoteric Healing – a gentle and non-imposing session that allows the client the space to connect to their body and let go of the busy-ness of the day – I attended Universal Medicine’s Heart Chakra 1 and 2 workshops at the Sound Foundation in Somerset. I found these workshops challenging and beautiful at the same time. I knew that what was presented by Serge Benhayon was undoubtedly ‘the truth’. I had wondered before about the meaning of life but not really looked in any depth as to whether or not I was living a life that was truth-full and true.
I was struck by the very ordinariness of Serge Benhayon. I am not sure what I expected, but probably someone who fitted into a certain stereotype. He was no superstar – he was just a normal guy but he had an extraordinary warmth and love that shone through, and a directness that was disarming. His manner was the same whomsoever he was talking with – a sense of equality that made you feel totally at ease. This man was without arrogance. He had a sense of humility and grace, and a love that was easily felt.
Through Serge’s example of family life and the way he lives his life, everything that he offered always felt possible. I could see that all we need to do is to keep life simple and to respect our truth.
Subsequently I attended Sacred Esoteric Healing (SEH) Level 1 and Level 2. During SEH Level 2 I was very aware of the profound and deep healing that was taking place. This course offered the opportunity to let go of childhood hurts and issues, and to release some of the pain held in my body. My body shape changed as my body had re-configured and the excess weight around my hips seemed to fall away.
I have been inspired to change my own life in a way that is truly amazing. I am now building different relationships with myself and with family and friends. My relationships now are based on honesty, where I lovingly reveal all those little things that I have held back on and kept hidden for so long. I was so ashamed of who I was deep down inside but now, as I open up, I realise that we are not so very different from one another – that no one is perfect and that it is OK to be me.
I have developed a new relationship with myself and have built self-respect and self-love into my life, which means I can also offer respect to others and allow them to find their own path. In this way I am able to understand and relate to everyone. It is wonderful to now experience real relationships where I do not need to be anything but myself.
Everything that I have heard Serge Benhayon say over the years has made sense.
I have an overwhelming feeling of coming home … back to the roots of where I came from in the first place. I am gradually building a foundation where love is the essence of my life and who I am.
by Susan Lee, Colchester, England