Re-Connecting With Mum and Dad

by Jennifer Smith, Registered Nurse, Maclean NSW

I have just come home after spending 9 days with my parents, younger brother and Panda (the family dog) in my childhood home. This is the longest I have been with them since moving out over 20 years ago. Over those 20 years, not only has there been physical distance between us, but also a distance had been created with our relationships. Not through the fault of anyone. We had all just let it happen that way.

For me, I had made my life so busy with travelling and socialising with friends initially, and then finally it was all about work, career and making a business. Whenever I went to Sydney for anything I would try to “fit in mum and dad”. I would go and have a meal at home or a cup of tea – always just a pop-in visit. I was too busy doing a course of some description to improve or better myself, or improve work prospects. I had such a drive to improve and impress.

Although I knew my parents well, they almost seemed like strangers at the same time. What I didn’t realise until recently, was that by distancing myself from them, I was doing that to myself.  By keeping so busy with all of this doing I was making a stranger of myself to me, too.

As I have attended Universal Medicine courses and sessions with their practitioners, I have been able to more clearly see this pattern. By gradually making more nurturing and loving changes for how I care for me, I have begun to meet me –  and discovered a Beauty-Full Woman.

Prior to my holiday at Mum and Dad’s, on the last pop-in visit we met for brunch. My family were sitting in the cafe and I was the last one to arrive. As I sat and greeted them all, I felt an overwhelming sense that I was deeply loved. It was so lovely, but deeply sad at the same time, because I had kept myself in a state that I could not see or feel that. After then, I knew that when I next had leave I had to be with my parents for more than a pop-in visit and a cup of tea.

It was like no time had passed at all. Dad and I walked in the early mornings. Mum and I went bra shopping. We ate meals together. Nothing flash, just us all being together. Yes, living with Mum and Dad, even for a short time, did bring up some childhood issues for me, but it just felt so different. I was more able to accept them just as they are and not judge them or their relationship and not react, as I would have previously. They also showed great acceptance of the changes I have been making.

I can now see how amazing my family is and the love that happens every day, rather than seeing things that I wished were other than what they are.

I am so pleased that I have got off my bum to re-establish a true relationship with my parents. I missed them when I left, in fact I now realise that it’s 20 years worth. That’s ok though, for the re-connection is on a new basis for me and I know that it will now be different for all of us.

472 thoughts on “Re-Connecting With Mum and Dad

  1. Re-imprinting our relationships for the true better benefits all, as it allows a fresh start and opportunity to deepen with each other.

  2. In allowing ourselves to be together in openness and love, there is nothing more needed, as sharing ourselves, who we really are is everything. When we begin to focus on living love for ourselves and healing our hurts, we bring to all our relationship a greater understanding of love, and that this is what we all in essence crave, long to live and share with each other.

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