How many Marriages & Relationships have been Improved?

by Joel L

The thing I have found confronting at times to accept and take responsibility for, is that there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.

I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times. In my relationship, we are both committed to our own ‘way of the livingness’, but even then we can still react when the other finds something that used to feel okay, no longer feels like it supports them.

This is not a Universal Medicine phenomenon, but rather something most relationships experience… as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules, at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.

After seventeen years of marriage and about eight years applying what Universal Medicine presents, there is no doubt our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be. There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.

I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?

That would be a list worth seeing!

669 thoughts on “How many Marriages & Relationships have been Improved?

  1. When we change the relationship we have with ourselves then the relationship we have with all others naturally changes as well. As we commit to bringing more love and care to ourselves this changes what we will accept in our other relationships and hence all our relationships have an opportunity to change and grow. This is beautiful and deeply supportive for all.

    1. Beautifully put Elizabeth – starts with how we treat ourselves, and then quite naturally starts to affect all our relationships. That is how love starts, and then grows exponentially.

  2. Working with Universal Medicine has totally changed my relationship with myself and therefore, guess what… changed my relationships with everyone else. Since it is me that I take to all my relationships, taking care here is a responsibility I now willingly embrace.

  3. It is interesting to see that we always have a choice, to say yes to what is presented to us or not. And the most important aspect in this is that it is only about us and never can we blame another for that which they offer.

  4. That is the beautiful thing about embracing responsibility and the opportunities to grow together, that it does continually feel like it is just the beginning, as we are continually deepening our relationship with love, and developing new foundations through which we bring more of who we are to share with each other. No room for stagnation, when there is a continual willingness to explore how we can bring more of who we are to life and inspire each other to evolve.

    1. Beautiful Carola, the key is our willingness to be who we are, allowing ourselves and others space to expand without expectations, jealousy or comparison.

  5. Yes Joel. There is probably not an area in our lives where the consequences of our choices are more and faster returning to us than in relationships. Especially when you have a partner that reflects back every time I chose not-love. A loving reflection to be more love.

  6. ‘I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.’ It can indeed as I have found out and this is where being fully open and willing to say yes to love no matter comes in. Sure we may be in a relationship with another but it is up to each of us to consistently choose love and then bring that to the other not demand it from them or rely on them for it – after all it is an equal partnership.

  7. It is an incredible thing to feel how strong I feel i am becoming because I what we choose to allow in our relationship.

  8. It is a beautiful thing to see and appreciate, the commitment to love is for us to deepen this in every relationship. It is the beauty of love that it constantly asks us to develop this deepening every step of the way, If we so choose.

  9. Since taking responsibility for how I feel instead of relying or blaming others for feeling loved or not loved has changed everything for me. I no longer seek love from others but choose to take responsibility for loving myself and building on deepening my quality of livingness. As a result my relationship with my family, friends and people I meet are more open, more connected and means more space for true love to develop and expand.

  10. I know so many couples that have got together under the inspiration of Serge Benhayon. Serge knows how to do relationships really well and though seeing him and Miranda together many are inspired to live this love, a love that is super delicate, tender and harmonious.
    I know without doubt that my own relationship with my husband has been hugely improved just by knowing Serge and Miranda.

  11. Whilst not in an intimate relationship, all of my relationships have dramatically improved since I have been a student of Universal Medicine. When you choose responsibility it becomes very challenging to blame others and blame is common to many relationships.

  12. As our relationship changes within our selves through being responsible and bringing more self love, the way we have lived changes and this then offers to our partner the opportunity to change so the relationship is continually being deepened with more love and appreciation.

  13. Yes there is no one else responsible if we don’t feel good and it is also the other way around of course, when we feel joyful we also have to see how we got to that place and appreciate ourselves.

  14. Joel, I agree with this; ‘there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.’ More and more I see that how I choose to live affects how I feel; from what time I choose to go to bed, to how much I choose to eat and how I move my body, these things all directly affect how I feel.

    1. Taking responsibility for our own choices also takes a lot of pressure off relationships, especially the one we have with “The one” – the person who is supposed to bring love into our lives as a romantic partner, when we ourselves are in fact our own source of love.

  15. Thank you Joel, studying with Universal Medicine and using their therapies regularly as a support has brought about immense positive changes in all of my relationships. This is because I am taking responsibility to heal the hurts I have that can create issues between myself and others. The hurts of past experiences can easily be dragged into other interactions and can create perceptions and get in the way of allowing a true connection. Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health have both supported me to also develop a much better and more loving and caring relationship with myself, which I feel is the foundation for my relationships to others.

  16. There are many connections between things (actions, choices) that have consequences for us (good or bad). Often times, we are not aware of them. Yet, the moment you start opening your eyes and realising that by-and-large A leads to B and C to D, you are free to free yourself from B and D if so you wish.

  17. Until I came across Universal Medicine and seeing the relationships people had with their partners that were based on constantly growing together and supporting one another. Previously I only saw couple’s issues get in the way and eat them up – this ended in separations or bitter/disappointed relationships whereby people’s initial love for one another faded. How amazing to read that ‘I also feel like we are only just beginning.’ Great for me to realise I do not have to limit my relationships by my old beliefs of them depreciating as the years roll on.

  18. A relationship is all about changes, about two individuals inspiring each other to be more through a constant reflection when they meet. The subject matter is of course infinite… it can be how to clean a bathroom to presenting in front of 100 people, to eating dinner together. The idea is that the relationship supports the evolution of both people in the relationship and also those around them. And this is not just intimate relationships but all of them…

    1. It is so beautiful to see a relationship where there is no comparison, just the willingness for 2 people to inspire each other to be more, always supporting each other and loving the reflection they receive from the other.

  19. What I have come to learn is that we can either be ourselves in relationships and allow them to unfold in their natural way, be that growing closer or together, or we can suffer on the inside and cling onto relationships that are damaging because they do not support us to be ourselves…

  20. Amazing how a true relationship is nothing like what is sold in movies or television shows, it involves evolution for self and all and no attachment – wow a relationship with no investments?

  21. When we deepen in our relationship with ourselves we deepen in our relationships with everyone, which is beautiful because in that there is no need for anyone else to ‘get it’….

  22. I love the simplicity and profoundness of this blog: if we deepen our relationship with our self, take responsibility for our choices and be more loving and caring of ourselves then our relationship with others will change.

  23. Since attending the presentations and applying the principles of the Ageless Wisdom my relationship with all others and myself has changed enormously. It has allowed me to go deeper with people and really enjoy all of my relationships.

  24. I love the simplicity and insight offered here. Are we prepared to grow together and be inspired by one another in our relationships, or are we resistant and a bit defensive of our corner? We are all always changing and any relationship can evolve or devolve, our choice.

  25. My joy is my choice and that is what I commit to living. When we are in a relationship, the I becomes the we and ultimately the all of us, it is teamwork, but the principle is the same–our joy is our choice. Choose love and joy and nothing but that, when this becomes the focus, everything is much simpler.

  26. We ought to consider the true quality of our relationships rather than focus on what it looks like on the outside, otherwise we can be hooked into thinking it needs to be a certain way instead of truly discerning what is actually supportive.

  27. I agree Joel. How cool would it be if we heard more positive stories about marriage and less of the typical jokes and digs most couples tend to rely on to get through. It’s outrageous how often I hear a woman make a snide remark about the man in her life or vice versa the man rolling their eyes about their wife and how he better do what she says because ‘happy wife, happy life’. It’s actually disgusting that that’s what we choose to accept. In saying that I find it happens far less in same sex couples which is interesting.

  28. Serge Benhayon and the presentations of Universal Medicine have inspired me to develop a true and loving relationship with myself and this now extends to my relationship with my family and everyone I meet.

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