How many Marriages & Relationships have been Improved?

by Joel L

The thing I have found confronting at times to accept and take responsibility for, is that there is a direct connection between the choices I make in each and every moment and the level of love or joy I experience.

I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times. In my relationship, we are both committed to our own ‘way of the livingness’, but even then we can still react when the other finds something that used to feel okay, no longer feels like it supports them.

This is not a Universal Medicine phenomenon, but rather something most relationships experience… as one person grows it gives the other person a choice. It’s not always easy, and while I understand the reaction of a person who feels like their partner is changing the rules, at the end of the day and in my experience, there is always a choice… to grow together, or apart.

After seventeen years of marriage and about eight years applying what Universal Medicine presents, there is no doubt our relationship is now more than I could ever have expected love to be. There is more allowing of the other person to be who they are, more sexiness in how we move together, more honesty and more playfulness. I also feel like we are only just beginning.

I wonder how many other marriages or relationships have improved by making changes that bring a greater depth of love to them, and each other?

That would be a list worth seeing!

707 thoughts on “How many Marriages & Relationships have been Improved?

  1. It is natural in my eyes for us to unfold and change our ways as we evolve or perhaps dig our heels in and go the other way and so it’s not helpful to label relationships as ‘failures’ just because a couple have split up or divorced because that may have been the best thing for both of them at the time…

  2. It is through living The Way of The Livingness, that we understand that it is our responsibility to develop and commit to our relationship with self first, as it is from this foundation that we can reflect our truth, our sexiness and wisdom to others to be inspired and be more of who they truly are. True medicine!

  3. Joy never expires! So it is up to us how much credit we give it. Simple, just like The Way of The Livingness. Thank you for writing this blog , that carries a truly profound message.

  4. Allowing another to be who they truly are is the only way that relationships can thrive and evolve and we cannot do this if we are not being true to ourselves. The Way of The Livingness supports us in every way to live true to ourselves and therefore enhances our relationships in every way

  5. Being open to develop and grow alongside someone in a relationship can be both exposing and very inspiring. Opting for comfy and familiar or being prepared to unfold and change? This can also be applied to our relationship with ourselves and I am opting for option 2!

  6. So true Joel. What you present brings it back to this question – do we really want other people to heal and be the grandness they naturally are? Or do we prefer to keep ahead of the crowd in an endless race to compete for who is the best? The second option is not really an option at all but a sure fire path to living in misery, isolation, self-doubt and pain. It’s time we finally saw that there’s no space for self in this world.

  7. It is through the teachings of Universal Medicine that I have come to understand, that the most important relationship that I have is with my own evolution, as the more I say yes to the volume of what is there to come through me the more joy and true intimacy there is in all my relationships.

  8. Thank you Joel for sharing your experience with growing in your relationship. I have to admit that in my relationship with my husband there is an expansion as well. I am sure that without meeting Serge Benhayon our marriage would not have that depth, intimacy, trust, joy, understanding, freshness, playfulness and supporting the other in being more themselves!

  9. “I have also found taking responsibility for my own joy and love whilst in a relationship can be confronting at times.” Great point Joel I can see that I can look for others when things are not going well and I am not feeling joyful myself, which is not only imposing it does not support a relationship to grow.

  10. Wanting someone else to supply the joy and to fill us up with love is pointless because we are the only ones that can do that for ourselves. The other person in the relationship only feels our neediness and demands on them. It is then an amazing opportunity and gift when the other person doesn’t play into it and holds them in the knowing that they are complete as is.

  11. Absolutely Joel, the responsibility of the choices we make in each moment. And not that this is a burden or critique on oneself, but a loving way of seeing how our actions affect others. The first responsibility comes with our relationship with our bodies.

  12. The inspiration of how our relationships change when we deepen our relationship with ourselves, getting to know and appreciate our qualities and being prepared to explore and work on the hurts we carry that trigger reactions and protection.

  13. There have been many times when my partner has shared how a certain behaviour I tend to go to is no longer feeling right for our relationship, and I could feel how I did not want to believe this or look into it deeper as it basically challenged my comfortable way of living together. But when I have allowed myself to get honest and really feel if this was true for us and then deal with what lead to the behaviour in the first place, we have grown together and connected more deeply than before. This exchange has worked both ways, even though it can at first be a bumpy ride when we are resisting the responsibility that comes with stepping up our level of love.

  14. I experience a constant lifting up exchange within my relationship with my partner. That is the true purpose of a relationship in my eyes. We are constellated because we are perfectly designed to support the other to come back to the grandness of who they truly are, why waste time in your own evolution and go for less and comfort in a relationship?

  15. Saying Yes to yourself and walking the path of surrendering to your essence is the best relationship advice you can give to someone. It has nothing to do with the other, why you feel or how you feel. It always comes back to your own choices of moving on and expanding, or staying stuck and wanting to have problems.

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