A bold statement you may think but allow me to elaborate. Last year I signed up for a basic four week computer course with Simon Asquith. Up until that point my relationship with computers had been, what can only be described as ‘rather strained’. My relationship was ok as long as I stuck to basic emailing and didn’t try to do anything new, but as soon as I tried to do anything new, I invariably ended up spending what felt like an inordinate length of time repeating the same dead end moves over and over again, getting increasingly more frustrated, until I eventually had some sort of minor breakdown.
And as far as my relationship with social media went, well we were not even on speaking terms, I had blanked her from the very beginning.
On gathering online in week one, it was of no surprise at all to find out that the other 3 woman on the course were of a similar age to me and a brief chat was enough to reveal that we all shared similar experiences and feelings about our relationship with computers and social media; that is, apart from one of the other women who had been working with Simon previously and whose relationship with computers was enviably healthier.
So after our initial sharing I was keen to get on and learn, I sat poised, ready to put pen to paper, eager to write down some steps that would enable me to ‘friend someone’ on Facebook or tweet a funny incident on Twitter. I could feel the frustration in my body rise when Simon suggested that we delve a little deeper into our relationship with computers. I didn’t have time for that, or so I felt. So it was with some reluctance that I sat and listened to what the others had to say.
What I found astonishing is the speed with which things transpired for everyone in the group. With the gentle and masterful guidance of Simon, we were each able to start to unpick the stitches – that up until that point, had held a rather taut canopy over our view of our relationship with computers and indeed technology in general. What I began to clearly see, is that I was actually invested in my relationship with computers and social media being difficult. You see, when I got honest with myself, I discovered that I like to see myself as someone who doesn’t ‘run with the herd’ and so as the herd were all running with social media, I was intent on running the other way!
In an instant I was able to recall that I had been the last person that I knew to get a mobile phone and then having got a phone, (reluctantly and purely out of necessity) I was the last person to get a smart phone. Specific instances seemed to be automatically coming up from my body, as if some invisible secretary had been sent to find files that would serve as evidence for my newly awakened suspicions. For example, I recalled being asked by a security guard for my mobile phone number and with a silent drum roll, I shared that I didn’t have a phone. I then waited rather expectantly for some sort of recognition. The level of surprise in his voice about the fact that I didn’t have a phone, was hardly detectable – but like a junky who has just found a spec of heroin, I snuffled it up none the less.
Similarly I recalled getting lost on the way to see my son play basketball. I pulled over and asked someone for directions, they used their phone to look up where the courts were and enquired as to how come I didn’t have that facility on my phone. Ah wonderful, another opportunity to show how special I was. What seemed to escape me completely was that in order for me to seemingly stand out from the crowd, for what amounted to a matter of seconds, I was actually choosing to make life pretty damn hard for myself!
What I have come to understand from attending presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is that the part of me that I can feel that is on the constant lookout for any skerrick of recognition is called the spirit, and it is forever looking to know itself through identification. The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul, which is the inner-most part of all of us. When I glimpse my soul, I can feel how voluminous it is and how it needs nothing to confirm itself, it is, in itself a living knowingness.
As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others. I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came.
As if I hadn’t accumulated enough evidence already, another more recent scenario resurfaced from my body. I had gone to lunch with work colleagues and the conversation had turned to Facebook. I was the only person on the table who wasn’t on Facebook and I could feel myself absolutely relishing the attention that I was getting. I was confirmed, again just for the length of time that the spotlight was on me and my spirit was loving the time and attention!
What I was getting to see more and more clearly was that it was actually ‘me’ that had set up my whole dire relationship with technology and social media. My relationship with technology and social media was simply a reflection of a part of me that wanted to stand out from the crowd.
What I have shared so far, I shared effortlessly with the computer course group but what I am about to share, had to be manually wrenched from my own throat. For most of my life I have felt like I was in competition with others, l felt that life was a bit like a horse race and I was constantly vying for position. As part of the imagined race, I had at times done things to hinder others’ attempts to get, what I perceived to be, ‘ahead of me’. What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me. There, I said it.
As these revelations came out of my body, I could feel invisible blocks being lifted, I knew that my relationship with technology and social media had already changed. However it was not just my relationship with technology and social media that had shifted, because the revelation that Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves. Once we go into thinking that it is the object or indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.
I cannot finish this article without thanking Simon Asquith for the tender care with which he held and guided the group and for the opportunity to see and feel the true beauty and vulnerability that is naturally held within all men. When the group commented on the extraordinary wisdom that Simon was bringing through, he graciously side stepped the compliments but the truth is, it is his dedication to the way that he lives that allows such love and wisdom to flow through him.
By Alexis Stewart, a woman who is coming to feel her true worth, partner of an increasingly beautiful man, mum to a stunning boy, dedicated student of The Way of The Livingness, Care worker, Yoga Teacher
Related Reading:
I am Amazing just for Being Me
From Recognition to True Love – One Student’s Unfolding
Our Relationship with Ourselves is the Start of All Things
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
I adore the honest and funny way you write. I also love what you have shared on social media. It is confirming and evolutionary for me and for many others, that is a win win situation for all.
And just imagine if every teacher, everyone who instructed anything, knew that, as Simon demonstrated, all we have to do is hold people with love, and they will learn whatever it is that they are there to learn.
I really enjoyed reading this super-honest account of how your spirit had created an ‘issue with computers’ in order to keep the identification and competition going and feed itself. It helped me see how I do similar things in different areas of my life and is a great reminder of everything that occurs in our life is a reflection of our inner relationship with ourself first. Living in reaction to outside events keeps us from feeling this fact so much, and we lose the opportunity to evolve through reading the source of why things are happening in our lives when we do so.
The natural ability of a Teacher of Gold to support a student to come to their own learning.
Imagine how life would be different if we considered that we can choose to make our relationships with things and people difficult or easy, depending on what level of understanding and awareness with hold.
Whether we live to blend in and belong, or live in a way to stand out and be different, recognition, acceptance and approval is always what we are seeking, no difference.
This is a great reminder that there is always something for us to look into if we find things complicated, because it is really us who make relatively simple tasks complicated, and that is normally in direct reflection of the way that we are living.
Sally I agree, when something has become complicated, then that in itself is a red flag that we need to take a closer look at whatever it is that has become tangled, because life is actually very, very simple when it’s lived in truth.
When we fight something (be it technology or anything else for that matter), it is a sure sign that we are butting heads with an energy within ourselves that is not wanting the growth or expansion in awareness that we are reaching towards. Complications and feeling like things are difficult are signs I look out for to see if I am off track or needing to investigate deeper the way I am approaching something. A clue to support us in our growth…And sometimes this can still be difficult to overcome, hence why it is important to seek the right support to guide us with confidence.
Funny that how technology can have such an impact in our lives – the reality of it is that our current world operates predominantly via technology, and it is about us being able to handle this without allowing any fears we might have of being inadequate, perhaps unintelligent, or unable to use technology to take over. Simon was a wonderful support to me too in overcoming this notion that I was not smart enough to use computers and technology and above all he helped me understand that it is not about being smart or not, but it is about understanding how a certain ‘beast’ (technology) operates, and once you have an understanding of this, then it is no longer a beast, but something you can work with. The fears come from ourselves and how we hold back in an area that we know we can master and handle gracefully.
I find it incredible how our deeply held hurts and reactions play out and affect the most seemingly unrelated areas of our lives. It is a common problem that people, especially those in Gen X and older, can feel uncertain on the computer. But the stories that we use to avoid dealing with our tech limitations needs to be felt and worked through by each of us. Simon Asquith is the master of simplifying and playfully supporting us to do this.
Beautifully said Fiona, it is about simplification of something that has been constructed purposefully complicated.
It’s amazing what we can realise about our behaviour from reflecting on our relationship with different objects or things we use (or don’t use!) in our life…
Fiona I agree and I keep coming back time and time again to something that Serge Benhayon has said many many times and that is that ‘everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy’.What this means practically in my life, is that everything that I do or don’t do, everything that I say or equally don’t say and everything that I think or don’t think, has a starting point and that starting point is energetic. No-thing comes out of nothing, every-thing can be traced back to it’s origin and so my constant pondering is ‘what has set this thought/action/sentence in motion, or what has prevented the thought/action/sentence from being in motion?
A stunning article, not so much about technology but the way we can use something to stand out in the crowd and be different. As I read this I reflected on how I used travel in this way as well as a multitude of alternative healing workshops. Very exposing.
We’re all on our way back to a ‘button free’ existence and so as you say Shirley-Ann, it’s great to appreciate the things that push our buttons so that we can investigate why.
..If we are lucky enough, fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time with the right people, we can feel what nurturing in education can be like… And then we have the potential to bring it to our children and our grandchildren.
‘Luck’ and ‘fortune’ are words that we use purely because we don’t allow ourselves to admit that we know that it is it our movements that are governing life right down to the minutest detail. Once we do admit that it is us and us alone that are bringing every-thing into being then the words ‘luck’ and ‘fortune’ will become obsolete.
there are such beautiful people in our community who just by being who they are, bring a presence and grace to whatever they do.
The thing about getting attention or recognition for something is that we have to be in misery in the first place to crave that sort of thing. So whether we get it and feel elated or we don’t get it, either way we are actually in misery.
You are right that the spirit, the individuated part of us is desperate to be noticed for being unique. It doesn’t matter if that being homeless, the way we dress or having a quirky habit. It’s all like a drug that the sprit believes it needs to survive. Understanding this helps a lot in life, as the choices the spirit makes can be self-harming and not make sense to the human part of us. It’s not logical but it makes sense when you can see the currency of the spirit is individuality, self, recognition.
So often we put up blocks saying I can’t do that but have not actually fully given it a go. It feels like we so often start out defeated rather than actually fully giving things a go. I know this has been the case for me with love giving up on it without actually living what I know is true in full, it is a set up that guarantees we will fail. So are we actually willing to go there and give it our all before saying it’s not possible?
Alexis one thing I appreciate about your writing is in how much of you you share. In a world that feels like people increasingly blank themselves out, it’s wonderful to be able to feel the person you are, and the qualities you have and openly share in your writing – for me that’s delightful!
And I appreciated this line about the spirit and the way it plays the game of recognition “it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others”. How much do we avoid the beauty of oneness!
Yes Alexis, everything is related to everything all of the time. We learn everything we need to at any given moment through reflection.
I love how a simple computer course can have such a healing effect on us, its beautiful.
“What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.” Love your honesty Alexis. i know people who pride themselves on not being into Social media or computers – or maths – the list can go on. Delving beneath the reason why we don’t want to get into something reveals so much – and gives us opportunities to evolve.
We make things so complicated and difficult. We run programs in our mind to tell ourselves everything is hard, when the truth is completely the opposite. All we have to do is choose to make things simple. Take action and embrace any obstacle we face, but see apparent difficulty as a creation of our mind and the illusion that it it is. Thank you Alexis for this blog and showing how the way we self sabotage just does not compute.
Hi Alexis, some great points here, and it’s an interesting study to what’s underneath our decisions and how things play out. We can get caught up on the physical surface of why we think we do certain things, that we just don’t want a phone etc, but it’s actually very much to do with our relationship with ourselves and evolution.
Indeed Melinda and something that I keep returning to, is something that Serge Benhayon has presented repeatedly and that is that ‘everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy’ and so if I am resistant to something, there must be an energy that is impulsing that resistance and as all resistance is a sign that there is an energetic force at play that is working directly against soul energy, then this is a clear flag that there is something for me to look more closely at.
Great point that Simon raised it can be so easy to blame the computer or technology for our misgivings or failure to learn when we haven’t built a true relationship with ourselves first and have not considered this as part of the learning.. I know the more I use something on a regular basis the more comfortable I am with venturing into knowing more about it but I can also see where there are blocks that i don’t even try to explore. This is where a loving caring teacher like Simon is a great support to shift these blocks by showing how simple and easy it can be if we are loving and supportive with ourselves first.
Surrender to the immense love that we are. Support ourselves through every challenge. Evolution is then for all.
Evolution is always for all.
I understand that everything in life is about relationships, but the way you used this word in this blog Alexis made me consider, that perhaps what you share here about computers has a lot to offer me in relation to how I am with others. I often think I am doing everything I can, but am somehow doomed to experience ongoing issues. What I am not seeing is that I’m creating these difficulties myself with my self-fulfilling prophesy style beliefs. What if there are simple and practical things I can do right now that would make my day to day life easy? It’s might not compute but you’ve helped me see, it’s completely possible.
Just imagine if teaching with this degree of love was the norm… imagine how much we would truly learn
If parenting with this amount of love was the norm then we wouldn’t have to be taught anything.
Wow. Great unpicking of our thirst for recognition and identification.
“…our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” – Great realisation Alexis and one I agree with for sure; we have the opportunity to learn and grow from everything if we are willing to see the part we are contributing to any situation..
A deeply inspiring article Alexis, exposing how the spirit constantly likes to identify itself and how this stops us evolving when we choose to live this way.
The spirit, the part of us that seeks recognition and identification at any price, doesn’t care whether we do it via excelling at something or playing dumb – the end result is the same and we are finally at the receiving end of people’s fleeting attention. And so the cycle gets perpetuated – as we scheme and somehow manoeuvre ourselves from one such occasion to another.
Gabriele if only people’s attention was at least ‘fleeting’ then our unquenchable thirst could be better understood, but most of the time we are fishing for attention in a sea of disinterest.
What Simon is embodying is the way that everything should be taught… With love, wisdom, understanding, and always holding everyone in equality.
This is our natural way.
So true Alexis, a beautiful testimony to where honesty and transparency take us, all of us that is. When one does, it gives permission for all others to follow suit…
All other relationships are a reflection of our relationship with the aspects of who we truly are. This takes the focus and blame off the other or object. Much needed at the moment as blaming and aggression feels horrible.
Matilda, ‘surrendering control’ is something that I keep coming back to, to work on, as it is something that I have cemented into my life since I was a teenager. I brought control in, in a desperate bid to try to limit the potential unease I would feel if things didn’t go the way that I wanted them to. So what I have now surmised from that, is that I have to have very set ideas about how things should be or people should behave in order for me to want things to be a certain way. The antidote therefore is for me to let go of any pictures or ideals about how I imagine things should be and just allow them to be the way that they naturally are.
There are many ways in which we hamper ourselves and interrupt the natural expression of our qualities in life. Surrendering control and listening in to what my body reveals is key for me in staying real, honest and in a developmental and respectful relationship with myself.
Matilda, ‘surrendering control’ is something that I keep coming back to, to work on, as it is something that I have cemented into my life since I was a teenager. I brought control in, in a desperate bid to try to limit the potential unease I would feel if things didn’t go the way that I wanted them to. So what I have now surmised from that, is that I have to have very set ideas about how things should be or people should behave in order for me to want things to be a certain way. The antidote therefore is for me to let go of any pictures or ideals about how I imagine things should be and just allow them to be the way that they naturally are.
If we make our connection to one another our priority then everything else will naturally follow, the trouble is, we have made everything else our priority, which is why very little of any real value is flowing.
Thank you Alexis for such an honest and clear account of your learning on the computer course. It is awesome how much we can expand our awareness when we are willing and how much we can change old patterns that are really not supporting us but actually hindering our growth and evolution, our return to soul.
The more that we connect to our soul through our livingness the more we notice the shenanigans of the spirit and the way it has been running the show offering no evolution just indulgences for self. Our soul is all knowing with no need for recognition or identification just a reflection of true movements that offer true evolution for all.
and if our movements don’t ‘offer true evolution for all’ then it’s our spirit that’s behind the wheel.
What takes a great amount of strength is being able to admit in public with so much honesty the way of life lived under your spirits’ control. But what makes this such an easy thing to do, is when the soul has been re-connected with because then the folly of the spirit is clear and plain to see, and then to expose this is actually a freedom that wants to be expressed again and again.
So well said Shami, you have summed up how I feel beautifully.
Although I can relate to the social media thing and have chosen to find it all tedious, and difficult (which deep down I know it isn’t, as this gets proven to me over and over), I have recently discovered that my relationship with maths is similar to this situation – telling myself that math is too hard. This has set me up for a life of being less, and shying away from opportunities just because there may be math involved. By putting the spotlight onto this lie, I am actually finding that I enjoy math, and although my re-introduction with it is at a very basic stage, I am willing to see where this leads.
Julie your sharing has triggered a similar acknowledgement in me, also about maths. In fact I have a resistance to numbers per se and as numbers feature in so many things this resistance has kept me away from getting involved in many things, including my own financial matters. There is a huge part of my life and life in general that I avoid simply because of my self imposed beliefs about numbers. To add that for me however it feels different to my previous relationship with social media, my poor relationship with numbers started with a belief that began at school about my ability with maths, as opposed to my resistance to social media which stemmed from a thirst for identity. Hmmmm on second thoughts both have their roots in identity.
Simple and amazing but still definitely not built into my foundation… on the way and inspired by articles and comments like these, thank you.
To explore the layers upon which we make a particular choice is to take responsibility for the patterns we have set up and gets us to the nitty gritty of our impulses… the more I do this the freer I am and I find it really inspiring.
A beautiful sharing Alexis thank you, I am so inspired by your blog to look into my own relationship with social media and my reluctance to further take part in it. Simon brings so much love and wisdom to all that he offers , I am wondering about taking a course with him to get over my own blocks.
Jill social media was, in some ways a red herring. The fact of the matter is that I had built up an identity around the subject of social media but the truth is, it could have been a million other things and indeed, over my lifetime I have been identified with an endless amount of different things. I can think of no better investment other than in some sessions with Simon to start to break down these false beliefs.
I have had a slow burning relationship with computers, it was really bad back in the early days and I put off buying my own computer as long as I could because if I owned one, I would have to figure out how to write. My block has been all around my perceived writing and reading abilities. I had no problem getting the newest phones because talking was not an issue, I refused to send any kind of text messages that were beyond a few words though. Emails were a huge challenge for me and also taking directions that required me to read, which was everything! hahah. Anyway, its beautiful that there are people like Simon out there to support us to look at the real issues, rather than hide behind the excuses. I am proud to say that my reading and writing has improved dramatically and I now am writing and sending emails with much more ease, the beautiful thing is, there is always more to expand and there is no end point.
I recently recommended this blog to a friend. When we were talking about computers and our relationship with it, I immediately thought of your blog Alexis. It is such a brilliant blog.
I too can vouch for the deep sense of calm and understanding that Simon brings when it comes to IT stuff. He has a way of being at ease with it, whilst acknowledging that it can be a tricky domaine to manoever in. And with his ease, he holds your hand as you explore it and come to terms with accepting that we are far grander than anything of IT could ever present. Thank you Simon for your wisdom and sharing of it with us all.
Brotherhood is our natural way, forging on alone is going against nature.
Wow. A difficult relationship of any sort is actually a hinderance of our own making. Your blog helps me to see that letting go of these abusive ways is as simple as being honest and understanding with myself.
I’ve just started a ‘Simon’ computer course and everything you have stated, Alexis about Simon Asquith’s presentation is my experience. Firstly what Simon presents is not just the nuts and bolts about how it works, but our actual relationship with technology. He has a very insightful and wise understanding that it is first about our relationship with technology, the opportunities technology offers us has a humanity and to expose any blocks such as what you have shared Alexis that gets in the way. Once we bring all this to the ‘workings’ of the computer, it is a whole new experience, I have discovered, it is one of openness, and ease, and not to leave out a confidence that is emerging…no more mystery around the computer. It is not mysterious at all.
A brilliant exposure of the smallest of detail can bring recognition and approval from another, rather than accepting ourselves. Thank you Alexis – an inspiring read.
“I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came”.
Yesterday I attended my first IT online class with Simon and Wow, it was an unravelling and so gently powerful! Like Alexis I’m seeing my problems with technology have actually been more about a pattern of disregard and not completing things and holding back in other areas of my life too … it was so important to feel that before diving into the practicalities of how to get things in order!
It’s fantastic to re-read your blog this morning Alexis as yesterday I attended one of Simon Asquith’s great ‘Media Classes’ – (soon to be re-titled Master Class for sure!). What was shared was the essence of your sharing, which is the experience we are having is based on our own approach and relationship with our computer. The computer can’t offer more than we are willing to share of our own willingness. Like all relationships we are pivotal in the quality that is reflected back.
Yes, yes and yes and when we don’t bring our love and care to something then it feels dead and lifeless. The love and care that we are speaking of is actually ‘us’ and so what we are in fact saying is ‘when we bring us to whatever it is that we are doing then we are in fact bringing love and care’.
Simon, the alchemist, in the undercover role of the IT guy. I love that!
Which really goes to show that the alchemy hat can be worn by anyone, regardless of their exterior garb and as more and more people return to the truth of who we all are, then so too will the number of alchemists increase and be peppered throughout all levels of society.
What an amazing blog, exposing our insatiable need for recognition in any way possible. It is our reluctance to evolve that is keeping us behind, and in this is keeping to seek recognition. We are able to be so much more when we allow ourselves to feel our wayward ways and get to feel the truth that we don’t need recognition as we are held by the love for ourselves and the love that is from all around us, our universality as human beings.
You have expanded on this beautifully Benkt. We are regal beyond measure and yet shuffle the Earth as if we don’t have two brass farthings to rub together and all as a result of our own choices.
We learn so much more when we work in groups rather than on our own….
Being on our own is a very unnatural and in some ways untrue state of being, as the truth is that whether we have anybody in close proximity to us or not, we are forever and always part of the complete whole, which encompasses the entire lot of every-thing and every-one.
Yes and a lot of this is due to a willingness to open up and for me relinquish the ‘going it alone’ mentality and pride.
Something that fuels many of us to go it alone, rather than collaborate in a group is the glory that we anticipate as a result of triumphing alone. However the truth is there is never any true glory when we triumph alone because true triumph does not exist in anything that we do by ourselves.
Simon would have been amazing to work with.
Thank you Alexis, your sharing here lead me to realise it’s not the things we don’t know or understand that hold us back but the attitude and approach we have. This fear and anxiety is what provides the main obstacle – as thick as the China Wall – until we decide to drop it all and just come to the day’s events with a clean slate.
Exactly Joseph, we get caught up in what’s in front of us, overlooking the fact that it is what’s inside of us that is bringing about what we experience ‘in front’ of us.
Its great how in the course Simon asked you to go a little bit deeper and look at your relationship with computers, what is the energy you are bringing and moving when using a computer, its an interesting question which can be applied to anything we do – as there is always more than the physical so to speak, there is the energy that is driving our being.
Harry yes indeed, there is so much more than the physical. We come from formlessness and are returning back to that same formlessness but for now we are in form and the form is supporting us to know who we are and know who we are not.
It is never too late to learn new things and what is great is that everything is a reflection if we choose to see it. We can then either embrace it and learn from it or fight and resist it. The choice is always ours.
Everything is indeed a reflection because if we didn’t exist then neither would the reflection.
That is a great point. So the question arises what are we reflecting?!
Bingo!
Thank you Alexis for sharing this. It confirms so much of what I have been experiencing lately in that I have invested in life being hard. Because in the victimhood, ‘sneaky’ behaviours, withdrawing and temper tantrums I get identification. And the spirit absolutely loves all of this and cannot get enough. The more I listen to my body in these moments of loving/relishing in identification the more I feel the truth of what that love and investment in being recognised truly is.
Leigh, thanks for pointing out that ‘the spirit can’t get enough’ because it can’t, it’s appetite for identification is absolutely insatiable and it will take anything, literally anything at all that sets it apart from others.
It is always good to have this reminder of the insatiable spirit, who will do everything possible to not feel the fullness of love it has separated from to live in a lesser form. It does not card if it trashes the body in the process as there is always another one to hop into next lifetime to repeat the process all over again (until we make the choice stop the cycle and return to love in full).
Part of truly taking in what another offers is to allow ourselves to be students, that way we are open to the reflection that another brings.
Funny how we can feel stagnant or stuck on one area of our life and so we cannot in effect move on in other areas either – and then when something clears from this one area, it is like a rubber band effect where everything then has permission to move on with seemingly amazing speed. There is a time that we must allow for ourselves to explore those areas and give permission for it to unfold, in its own time…
Well said Henrietta. The truth is there is no such thing as ‘one area’ of our lives because life can’t be segmented as such. Our life is simply One life where each assumed ‘segment’ bleeds into the other, so you are spot on when you say that one area affects another. Certainly I have found that clearing my block with computers and technology has lifted a massive block from my body, and that block was in fact affecting all areas of my entire life because the block was with me all ways and hence the space that the removal of the block has left is also with me always.
How often do we try to address a problem, issue or area of doubt whilst trying SO hard to not look at the actual CAUSE of this issue…. Only to find that a quick band-aid approach doesn’t work and we’re going to circle back to the same point anyway!
I love your style of writing Alexis – this line was a corker – “Specific instances seemed to be automatically coming up from my body, as if some invisible secretary had been sent to find files that would serve as evidence for my newly awakened suspicions.”
But jokes aside, when we make a decision to be honest and get real about something, the body and Soul come together to support you to find and see the truth. It is the magic of God at work.
The depth of honesty shared here is without doubt inspiring, pattern busting and transformative. Since first reading this article, I have put myself under a microscope to investigate my true levels of honesty and it has been revealing and shocking… it has also meant I have had very clear choices and support to change and the ongoing impact is huge. What I find amazing is how simple life is without the veils of lies and facades I have lived enmeshed with – the truth is simply that… the truth.
I love how you went to Simon for some straight forward valuable tips and he asked you to go to another level that was so, so much more, which you did. I can turn up to training and have an attitude of, just give me what I what want to know and then I can carry on doing a ‘good job’. But when I don’t observe and read a situation and what it’s calling for – when I want to stay unaware and settle for plastering up the cracks – then everyone loses, big time. Same is true when I’m being asked to just deliver solutions and I don’t heed the call to bring through what’s actually being called for, because it does require me to live in a way that isn’t about recognition, but a humble and beautiful allowing of what is there to be expressed so all benefit and grow.
We can create difficulties in life to not have to feel amazing… sounds silly but I have experienced this too and life on earth alone is one big example of this: how we can make life very difficult for ourselves. Yet why? It does make sense that it is to avoid simplicity and evolving back to living lovingly from the impulses of our Soul and in that way inspiring everyone to do the same.
It really highlights how powerful our choices are – it’s like the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ or in this case – what we choose comes with responsibility because what we express will then be the love we and everyone else can also choose and re-choose from.
‘,,,that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves…’ – this is so true and I really love what is shared here – and wow I can really see the truth in this. The fact is we have a relationship with everything and it is all on different levels – and this is a great reflection to where we are in ourselves. I know my relationship with food and my spirit wanting to be rebellious sometimes is reflective of me not truly nurturing myself – wow everything comes around to show us where we can deepen.
The description of wanting to get on and into the heart of the matter is one I have wrestled with for a long time. I’m not much for planning but sometimes it does pay to take a step back and analyse the situation. That in the long run can save a lot of wasted energy, particularly if we have a sort of spell to break for want of a better description, talking and reflecting is one way I have found that I have gained greater understanding and an easier way to do things. A clearing of a pattern of behaviour which is old and unwanted.
It’s incredible to observe how the need for some sort of individuality can completely rule the show, and in ways we would not have obviously detected.
This is an amazing revealing blog of recognition of behaviour I see in myself. To stay seperate from others and not support them in any way by not living and sharing who I truly am, it is a huge subject to tackle and get to grips with to evolve ourselves and so evolve others.
Yes to this… taking responsibility for ourselves and in so doing giving everyone else the space to do the same, so that we can evolve together.
What became clear Matilda in reading your comment “Yes to this…taking responsibility for ourselves and in so doing giving everyone else the space to do the same, so that we can evolve together” is that the converse is also true, in that for the years that I didn’t take responsibility for myself I repeatedly encroached on the space of others, thereby hindering everyone’s ability to freely evolve together.
The fact that you booked to go on this computer course in the first place shows that you were willing to let go of the recognition you once relished in being a ‘technophobe’ … no wonder you had an invisible secretary downloading files of previous incidents!!! Your Soul obviously must have known what a clearing and healing this would be for you and so was getting prepared. And who would have thought going on a computer course would be a clearing and healing! This a testimony to Simon Asquith and the space he was holding for you during the course .. as well what you were willing to let go of.
We can deny and protest all we like, but the situations in life we find ourselves in are no coincidence. I feel you have hit on a raw nerve for us all Alexis, where often our perceived weaknesses serve a purpose in keeping us trapped. Like a kids story book that gets read every night, we keep repeating the story to keep ourselves ‘safe’ and protected. But all this actually does is block our development and growth and what we have to bring to life.
I am starting to understand how my relationship to anything in my life is important. Thank you Alexis for exposing the fact that the spirit wants recognition. I have branched out a little more in to the world of technology but need to do a lot more!
Thank you for your transparency Alexis! It’s so beautiful to read the words of a woman willing to be seen just as she is. Always so refreshing to hear the honesty of others.
I love how the computer session Simon offered is far more than just about the computer. I can be so easy just to show someone how to do something without talking about the energy and understanding what truly is underneath what they may be experiencing. In this way just making life about what we do is actually a way of being irresponsible and hiding the reality of what choices are being made.
It’s amazing that a computer course can lead you into putting the pieces together to see an old pattern used by the spirit. As I sat and asked myself what my relationship with my computer was, it wasn’t as purely functional as I would have suspected. There were a lot of feelings and beliefs mingled in there too. I think this is a great question for all of us to ask ourselves as we are spending more and more time on the computer at work and at home. If there is anything our spirit is running at these times we need to be aware, so we can question it, discard it and allow a fuller us to be present with our computer.
I love the depth of honesty in your sharing that encourages me to look more deeply at my own motivations and at my relationship with my laptop
Wow, we all have so much wisdom to share, and it is tapping into this rich source within people that makes life so interesting and fun. On the surface we can make many things appear a certain way, and this can comply with any temporal standard, but it may not contain the richness of our Soul which is deep inside us.
Thank you for sharing how beneficial this course was for you. http://computerpricepro.com
“However it was not just my relationship with technology and social media that had shifted because the revelation that Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” I can relate to the resistance to go deeper with technology, getting frustrated the moment it goes wrong, but this is also a reflection for me in life that if things don’t go my way and I am not in control of its outcome then I get frustrated and give up or blame the computer instead of my lack of commitment and willingness to stay with it.
Just learning a new job and part of that job involves learning a new computer system, and every now and then I get this overwhelming feeling to say to hell with it, but what I realised was that it was asking me to be present and to deal with things that I was resisting.
Absolutely Julie and the things that we resist on the outside, correspond to things within our bodies that are not harmonious and so when we struggle with something on the outside, there is a struggle on the inside. When we choose to not address something on the outside then that thing stays unaddressed on the inside and we carry it around with us until the time that we are prepared to address it. The only real question is when.
It is a great step to take, to be honest about our need for recognition and the lengths we go to get this, often in compromising ourselves from being fully supported and able to concur our daily lives.
Our relationship with technology is really no different than any other relationship that we have. It needs to be worked with and nurtured into a true state of health
Well said Elizabeth. We will come to realise that our relationships with every-thing are significant; we currently dismiss our relationships with inanimate objects but it is about the relationship that is coming FROM us out to whatever it is that is significant, be that something that has a heartbeat or not.
I loved what you have shared in such a honest light hearted way Alexis, I can relate to not wanting to follow the herd, making myself separate, special. I am learning more and more about my Spirits cunning ways of looking for recognition, it does not need to be just in the bigger moments of life, but like you have shared. “A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came.”
What I find astounding is that we are actually all already connected with everybody, it’s simply that we all are actively involved in the process of attempting to disconnect that sets up the illusion of separation.
Our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves, is something worth pondering on deeply as there are many things we come across that don’t make a lot of sense and are too easy to walk away or hide from without truly getting to the bottom of what is going on.
In the past I have dismissed the areas where I lack knowledge in technology as just a part of who I am, and yet I can see how certain technology, like a well functioning smart phone can be very supportive. I used to take pride in not using phones and only initially got one as a hand me down. Yet when used responsibly they offer a way to connect with people. All aspects of technology have to be judged on their merits, and if I feel a resistance to such things it is worth questioning how it may feel to overcome that. Often I find I feel more open and expanded in my body, like a burden has been lifted, when I learn to do something new.
Stephen I can relate strongly to the feeling of openness and expansion in the body that you describe when you learn to do something new and conversely when there is something that I either flatly refuse to do or I’m constantly putting off, this then causes me to feel somehow contracted on the inside.
This sounds like a course that I ought to attend Alexis. Thank you for sharing how beneficial this course was for you. What you share about the way many of us want recognition by refusing to move with the times, I had never considered that this may be the case but I can understand it.
Very inspiring to read and so much to relate to. A couple of points in particular stood out, as in finding recognition in anything and feeling the spirit relish in the slightest reaction from others – in those moments it’s worth the effort even if the behaviour is makings life harder for us. Also being honest about not wanting others to evolve faster – this I found super helpful.
This article has inspired me to another level of honesty; a willingness to observe all the moments I deviate from truth and with great understanding and gentleness calling them out as lies, knowing that these are strategies I have developed to cope with life and that they do not in fact support or serve me well at all.
Such gems of truthful observation in this blog – and your ability to be honest about not wanting to feed your perceived competition of any potential evolution is inspiring.
We often look for ‘quick fixes’ to problems or areas of our lives that we know are underdeveloped, and it would be so easy to write off a sticky relationship with technology as ‘an age thing’, ‘wanting to keep life uncomplicated’, ‘avoiding the unnecessary’ and so forth, but if you were to learn the skills without looking a little deeper into WHY your relationship was like this, whose to say you wouldn’t look for another area of life to provide recognition for being ‘different to the norm’ and that the same underlying issue would play out elsewhere?
Another great testimony and support for honesty. The foundation of this being in our relationship with ourselves… how much do we try and deceive ourselves?
Could we apply this same level of honesty to all the manipulations we choose to engage in, as a way of resisting, denying or delaying the return to the truth that calls us constantly back.
What an amazing teacher, not only learning new computer skills, but understanding a whole lot more about yourself is a lesson that definitely will last a lifetime!
What you share her can be true for many things – when we feel that things will be tough, then we usually are faced with setting ourselves up rather than approaching things without any baggage so to speak. I find this to be true in so many things, and that by letting go of a tension of what I expect the outcome to be, things are so much clearer and simpler.
“I could feel the frustration in my body rise when Simon suggested that we delve a little deeper into our relationship with computers. I didn’t have time for that, or so I felt.”
These lines stood out to me because they are nearly the same as what I was feeling in my session a few years ago, its about going there, for there is always so much more than one might see under the surface of these seemingly simply issues.
One of the things that touched and inspired me about this article is the transformative power of honesty and the willingness to explore in the shadows for the ‘gremlins’ that are trying to hide truth, in this case, ‘part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me. There, I said it.’ I know that the attempted cover up of anything in me is not only futile because this struggle manifests in my behaviour and reactions to others, but also takes up so much energy and attention off course. There are always more shadows to explore but understanding the benefits of ‘going there’ makes me much less fearful and reluctant.
Working with Simon Asquith changed completely how I feel about computers and indeed technology in general. I used to be very intimidated with technology but thanks to Simon I now see computers and social media as a great way to connect with people. It just goes to show that if we make it about people there is an awareness that there is nothing outside of ourselves that is greater than what is within us.
such a profound series of experiences, revelations and life changing understanding… Simply by being held in love during a computer instruction session… Extraordinary paradigms shifts and life changes are available to us anywhere, any time
Every aspect of our lives has the potential to teach us a moment of deeper connection with the Divine, or to entice us with the familiar way our spirit has used for centuries to keep us in the spin and creation of a world that we are not even from.
Alexis, I can so relate to what you have shared here, I too have sought recognition from not being very computer or social media savvy. This is very interesting to ponder on and helps me to understand what is spirit and what is soul, ‘I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others.’
Awesome Alexis, I really enjoyed reading your blog again. I loved what you shared. You certainly did delve deep and exposed so much in such a loving and relatable way. What a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow when we allow ourselves time to ponder on our actions and choices.
When such physical courses are delivered with an element of the non-physical, it provides an opportunity for much more than what the course contains.
Agreed Michael, in fact every-thing can be traced back to us.
This is a beautiful, accessible introduction to the truth about responsibility and the impact of embracing or resisting it in our lives. Couple this with honesty and there is less and less tendency to continue the games we play.
It is very easy and tempting to think that we need to get on with it and waste no time delving into the subject matter when the reality is that there is a background and at times bedrock of resistance and justifications to explore; once this is out of the way, learning and exploring are a joyful matter and things tend to fall into place a lot more easily.
Learning technology is huge, for me as an older person it was like learning a completely new language. Having read your great blog Alexis I am recognising that I need to appreciate here that I have a wealth of ‘computer savvy now and though there is still much to learn, what I already have mastered is pretty amazing. Excel is my next new language, something I have been a little (read lot:-) resistant to up till now.
I recognise how I delay jobs that entail implementing new skills because I fear the unknown and the possibility I wont know how to do things. Its never as hard as I imagine and there is always help at hand. I’m getting better at taking the bull by the horns and asking for help from the outset.
This is the gentle but persistent breaking of old ill habits that I find so inspiring. Keeping at it with the understanding that the habits took a while to ‘bed in’ and will not disappear overnight.
For sure the technology is great if you understand how to use it. So often there can be a ‘block’ to learning about it due to our attitudes or beliefs about something.
‘What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.’ This is so inspiring, first in its honesty Alexis and second because you turned social media from something to be rejected to seeing the potential for healing through your posts. beautiful!
I love that the support sessions in technology began with exploring the relationship itself, and not the ‘how to’ manual. It reveals how these relationships are reflections of our relationship with ourselves, and that in effect the world is our mirror.
Even though I am computer literate and have been using them all my working life I still resist new software programmes and don’t have a full understanding of how I can use my computer fully, which reflects my resistance to go deeper in all areas of my life, ‘everything is everything and nothing is nothing’ as I have heard Serge Benhayon say.
There is always more. This used to scare me so much – the fact that there was no finish line – nowadays for the most part I love each point of learning as it reveals the next.
Same here!
“Once we go into thinking that it is the object or indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.” This is pretty key for getting on with life isn’t it? How easy it is to blame other people or technology for our problems rather than take responsibility for our creation/response to them in the first place.
Alexis this is a great article and something for us to all contemplate, how many times do we avoid or have difficult situations with things like computers, phones, technology and put it down to the device rather than looking at our relationship with it and what is behind the seemingly roadblock to using them?
It is amazing to think that we can have relationships with objects and activities in no different way than people and that these relationships come with the same challenges and blessings.
The seeking for recognition or any tiny amount of attention from another can be done in the subtlest of ways but willing to be being honest with myself in calling it out is key as I create an opportunity to heal the root cause for the reason I was seeking the recognition in the first place.
This is a really revealing blog. I notice that it is often in the reluctance to learn new things that I can get stuck, and that trying new things opens up our world. I find there can be real stagnancy in not attempting to address new challenges, and that the only way to overcome that is to dive right in and give things a go.
The lengths we will go to in order to be different and stand out from the crowd are extraordinary, especially in light of the fact that it is to our own detriment and frequently most uncomfortable and awkward.
It’s great to see that something like an “issue with technology ” can even be understood and looked at in a deeper level, because mostly we would just bypass these things in our daily life and pummel through any frustration it brings. It just goes to show that every behaviour or emotion we have can be understood and never are we going to come out overwhelmed by something for too long.
Exactly Harry it makes sense really that everything is there to support us to understand more deeply our way of living in harmony or not!
Yes I agree Harrison, I am so impressed by what is on offer here with this seemingly common ‘technophobe’ issue- i love how she unpacks it, and the whole issue then moves forward, very simply and gently.
This blog exposes how whatever is revealed to us in one area, will actually be an underlying pattern in other areas of our lives too. In addressing one thing, the knock on effect begins to heal other areas too.
Each of us have so much we can offer our fellow brothers & sisters if we simply connect to the love within us and let that love be what expresses through our skills and abilities.
Wow awesome honesty Alexis and we all could grow hugely from this level of self-reflection and honesty, not to be judgmental in any way but to see the tricks and patterns we sub-consciously run with that impact on all areas of our lives and inevitably on others, and this is the way to liberate ourselves from their seeming vice-like grip on our lives so we can start to live truly free once more. You are a huge inspiration.
I was blessed to share a dinner with Simon Asquith and what he had to share around the resistance people have towards computers and social media was very insightful. I’m sure any course with him would be fantastic as his understanding of what lies at a deeper level is really quite something.
This is a great example of how healing comes in all sorts of packages and that everybody is capable of bringing incredible healing and true life long change from their trained or natural skills. What an exceptional IT course this was for you!
I am also someone who used to pride themselves of being different and disobedient to the popular or majority tastes whether it be in music, sport, work etc. Perhaps there was some truth in that as I could sense that there was something not quite right about how the world works. So when Serge Benhayon presented that there is a divine order to the universe which we can be obedient to, I reacted a bit I must admit. But really it makes sense that there is a certain flow, an interconnectedness between us all and everything in the universe and that we can be part of that whole, with no individuality or separation, and yet remain an equal part of that whole along with everything else – no less, no more.
It’s hilarious really when you stop to consider it that our spirits will take pleasure in even rejection or suffering as a form of identification!
Thank you Alex for a deeply honest sharing, I loved how so much of what is not you was revealed in the spirit’s antics, and you were able call it out. I can relate to wanting to stand out from the crowd, being different, all for recognition. It is so beautiful that when we connect to our soul we find it just is love with no need for anything else for it has its own knowing.
To be held with love and be asked to go deeper into the issue, there sits true teaching and learning.
You have hit the nail on the head when you say the spirit will seek out the slightest smidgen of recognition and run with that like it has had a hit of heroine – then waits and seeks for the next, and the next situation, anything in fact that will identify it.
Using the excuse, ‘I didn’t (or don’t) have time for that’ is an interesting one. If we really valued discussing our relationships and discovering the root cause of any issues or negativity then would we not create the space to look at this? When we use this excuse is it more a case of not valuing what we’re avoiding or ourselves, rather than an issue of ‘time’?
Our spirit has such a hunger for being identified in any way that it can. When I started to really notice the many many many ways I looked to create ways to differentiate myself from others, it was a very humbling moment. It is something that still continues to reveal itself in more and more subtle (and not so subtle) ways.
What you shared here Alexis is just another way of holding back to live our lives in full as when you would start using social media you “would enable others to evolve”! Computers, technology etc. is part of our evolution here on earth and it is up to us if we go with the flow and see the opportunities they give for human evolution and to apply it for that.
I can remember my mum having this tiny outdated mobile, clinging on to the past and stubbornly refusing to update it, and when she did, picking the simplest model. It is interesting how we can resist change, and how important it is for the younger generation to have understanding and patience to support the older generation for who this increase in technology is a kind of revolution – for me, it has been a part of my entire life and yet for many they can remember a time with no internet or phones and when cars were not common by a status symbol.
This blog is so relevant for me Alexis, I really value your honesty – indeed it’s amazing to be honest and understanding about the array of set ups that we make for ourselves in many parts of our lives – as you say ultimately they all come from the same place – our relationship with ourselves.
I have found that often when I get frustrated with technology, it is simply an outward ecpression of a frustation already within – that I have not allowed enough space, I am rushing or trying to hard, want an outcome to be quicker or better than it is.
An amazing learning from something seemingly as simple as a computer course. Social media and technology are such a large part of our lives now, and unpicking our relationship with it is so important.
It’s interesting that we seek help for an area of our lives that we feel there is an issue but then do we initially like what can be exposed as the real problem. This simply presents us with a choice to either accept what is found and go deeper or to react and dismiss that which has exposed the deeper truth. This is free will and such a beautiful thing to feel when that which is revealed is accepted and released from our body and the effect over our life diminishes.
Just love to hear a testimonial that appreciates Simon Asquith, and share the benefits so others can learn from it too. An opportunity for everyone to grow and evolve.
I love your honesty here Alexis and how this led to you getting to the root of your resistance with social media. We all win from your willingness to explore what was going on here.
So true! I found more and more that in fact everything in life can be taken as a reflection where I am right now and what can be the next step to develop from here.
You booked in a computer course and got a life-changing fundamental re-building…not bad!
As I see it, you could have done ‘just’ a computer course and learnt how to deal with technique, but your willingness to truly see what was going on and to look behind the obvious means you can now be thankful that it was more than that.
As long as I can identify myself as individual my spirit is happy, whether that is for a positive reason (perceived success) or a negative one (failure or being less than). Soul on the other hand is always working with the whole, inspiring us to take up the responsible part in the big, all encompassing, never leaving anyone out, working together picture. I really appreciate your raw honesty about how you hung on to being special because you held off engaging with tech and social media.
If all teachers taught in this way, imagine how much we would be inspired to do!
What this says to me is that our “issues” are not truly reflective of what we really take issue with. So you have an issue with technology, one might say, but if you are prepared to look deeper as has the author of this blog, then you can always see that such an issue is but a symptom of something much deeper. Too much of our focus in psychology is based on healing conditions of the surface, without getting to the root cause of things. As Henri Thoreau said, “there are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.”
Oh! the tangled web we weave, through the craving for identification and recognition from others. If this continues be acted out in our daily life, this makes it very difficult to choose to re-connect back to our soul.
“….the part of me that I can feel that is on the constant lookout for any skerrick of recognition is called the spirit, and it is forever looking to know itself through identification. The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul, which is the inner-most part of all of us”.
I was going to write about identification, and then how the our relationship with anything is a reflection of our relationship with everything, that everything we do is part of the whole, we can’t live our lives in parts it affects us all, but I’m a but stumbled on what to write apart form the fact how often we seek identification even over what might be the most horrendous of things,it’s actually really really yuck when we think about it and feel when and where we do it, very selfish in fact. Identification, as we all well know, keep us separate from people and our Soul.
Often we have an idea that something is hard to do so we avoid doing it. When we actually get around to doing it we find it quite simple and easy. It is often just the thinking of it being difficult and our reticence of trying something new that gets in the way of giving it a go.
Yes. And how great and amazing to have people around who reflect to me that it can be easy.
The spirit is so sneaky it knows just how to get us in every aspect of our life. It is our choice to be honest and take responsibility for being consciously present and aware of when we are being run by the spirit and choose to reconnect with our true self and express in the full and completeness of all of us with no identification needed.
Wow Alexis, thank God you mended your relationship with technology, or I wouldn’t have got to read that incredibly honest, evolutionary blog. Thank you.
Hello Alexis, I appreciate the awareness you gained from the course, and now passing on to the rest of us.
As long as we are in reaction to life in any way, it doesn´t matter if it is conforming or rebelling, joining or going against the trend, we cannot be who we are, do not even know who we are as we are defining us by bouncing off what life presents to us. That is a set up the spirit chooses to be engaged in to assure that we don´t turn inwards and get to listen to the voice of our Soul that has a completely different relationship with life.
This makes totally sense. And as we are the ones who created this life and now reacting to it – we hold ourselves in a circle of illusion. Or step out of it, observing what is going on and and bring a change into ‘this life’ by not re-acting anymore.
So inspiring to hear of such tenderness even when leading, for that is true leadership.
how lovely that in such a seemingly bland environment as a computer class, just by the tutor bringing ‘ all that they are” into the session the benefits can be so far reaching… What an example for all of us… It doesn’t matter what our job is, if we choose to be as present as possible and with that conscious presence not holding back, we can transform anywhere any time
Goes to show we cannot really afford to be invested in anything.
I’ve found that the more I am open to learning technological skills the more I grow in confidence. We do not serve ourselves to remain ignorant to ways of operating or communicating.
Computers and the internet etc are configured to be complex, whereas our hearts seek simplicity. Now our task is to bring that simplicity and warmth and infiltrate it in all the areas that sorely need it, such as the internet and how we use computers. Well done Alexis for embracing this next stage being offered to us.
Through simplicity we come to know God and see God in everything.
Very funny Alexis, what you share about how ridiculous things seem when we become honest and look at what we will continue to struggle with just to have the identification that comes with it. And this we all have in different ways, so it’s worth exploring what kinds of crazy things we do for the recognition or investment in a picture we have going. and we might find that they only serve to work against the true freedom and space we could otherwise be enjoying.
Its fascinating how there is much more blocking our ability to learn than just simply not knowing the functionality of learning the procedure.
When you are called out for what the real issue is, what really lays beyond the obvious “issue” it can be challenging but if we are vulnerable enough to go there, it’s such an amazing shift that can occur. This blog speaks volumes about your willingness to be honest and go to what is the core issue, very inspiring.
I love to read about true teachers, I am inspired and my heart expands to feel that there are people in the world that teach with love and care, and inspire deeper understanding and expression.
There’s so much to learn, simply so, if we but are willing to listen to what we feel inside. Because as a society we’ve left this gold somewhere behind us, it’s amazing and very supportive if we support each other. Isn’t it beautiful to read how these five people were supporting each other to find their own answers to the questions being asked / provided.
Simon Asquith is a beautiful beautiful man
I so appreciate, Alexis, how you ‘fessed up’ to not wanting others to evolve more than you. Being honest like this sets us free, because all the withholding and lack of expression stifles us, keeping us in contraction and self-judgement.
Yes. This level of honesty is the only way out of patterns of thinking and behaviour that we know do not belong in us, but because we do not expose them they continue to have a hold and power.
The spirit can be so sneaky in how it runs the show – our underlying behaviours can be so subtle… it all comes down to how honest we are prepared to be when we take a look at ourselves.
I could really relate with your comment about not ‘running with the herd’ that I clung to for many years! It feels as though I did this because I could feel superior to hide my lack of self worth and bury my head in the sand, as I lived in separation to everyone else. As I develop a more open mind I am finding life is so much more fun and enjoyable as I learn to run with the herd and feel a sense of equality and support. It feels this is a more natural and loving way to live with one another in brotherhood as we all return home to be at one.
It is a huge insight you have shared in “What I was getting to see more and more clearly was that it was actually ‘me’ that had set up my whole dire relationship with technology and social media. My relationship with technology and social media was simply a reflection of a part of me that wanted to stand out from the crowd”. This is a valuable example of how we can examine the underlying factors affecting any issues before we firmly deciding we are not capable of something.
This is such valuable advice, to feel and recognise the underlying and often completely hidden attitudes that prevent us from opening up to a new skill playfully and joyfully. The spirit loves to feed negative thoughts based on old learned attitudes to life while seeming to make them acceptable and believable. But they are not, they are far from the truth of who we really are. Reconnecting with that knowing inside about the power and love that we are, and approaching everything with an open heart, expands us to embrace and take on the most difficult of tasks. Thank you Alexis for sharing your experience with this.
Ah yes, the badge of honor of not knowing how to use technology, but also the badge of being the know it all – the play off in this relationship between someone who is identified as not knowing and another who is identified as knowing is both insidious and the perfect arrangement – how amazing to find someone in Simon who is not playing the role of knowing all, and doesn’t allow you to stay in playing small, which then opens up the opportunity for your to grow and really learn
‘Once we go into thinking that it is the object or indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.’ – Well said, to have this awareness makes a huge differerence in how we choose to deal with things in our day to day living, and is something that I am forever learning to develop.
To look at life and understand that everything is about relationship, ie us having a relationship with everything in our life even computers, the internet or let´s say our fridge or toilet seat, allows us to assess the quality of those relationships. What do we bring to a person or an object? We can be sure it will be reflected back to us and define and confirm how we feel about it. When we change what we bring, ie change the way of relationship, we also will make different experiences.
If so much can unpack from our relationship with a computer, imagine what we can learn from our relationship with other things.
How awesome Alexis. What I sense from reading your blog is that we can learn lots of skills and adapt ourselves to ‘do things’ but if they are done with anxiousness or nervous tension we grapple with it, where as we might be really confident at some other things and can do them with ease, and use the skill for a purpose.
Thank you for sharing your relationship with technology; I’d never considered that we can shy away from social media and technology in fear of the reactions or response that our posts or sharings might gather.
Holding ourselves back from learning the next step with our computer skills reflects to other areas of our lives also, and reading this blog has me looking at my resistance to going further with my excel skills, also the internal dialogue of you need to be smarter. What has been highlighted is that it is easy to go to a certain level and stay there and then refuse to go any further, but what this shows is the refusal to move forward.
Julie, I would add to what you have shared here “What has been highlighted is that it is easy to go to a certain level and stay there and then refuse to go any further, but what this shows is the refusal to move forward” and a refusal to go deeper.
‘…I invariably ended up spending what felt like an inordinate length of time repeating the same dead end moves over and over again…’ just is was the case for you here so it is with humanity in life still creating the same problems for ourselves without stepping back to look at the patterns of behavior behind them and asking why do we perpetuate such misery as a choice.
I find it interesting what we get invested in in negative ways for recognition and how we stubbornly hang on to them for that reason. I love what you have shared here about your identification for not being ‘good’ with technology and you have opened me up to exploring any areas I might be doing this in too. Thank you.
I am just appreciating at a deeper level how everything we engage in rests upon the relationship we have built with our selves. What I find more and more awe inspiring is how, when supported in the way Simon Asquith supported you to explore a very automatic reaction, we bring to the surface our true innate expression that got buried in the coping mechanisms taken on as children learning to live in a paradoxical world. When we can begin to identify our true expression it becomes so much easier to realise when we are in harmony with our selves and when we are drifting off course into behaviours that basically isolate us from each other. Reuniting our selves with our true expression automatically includes re-uniting us with humanity again and every one wins.
‘. . .our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.’ Great to be aware of this Alexis.
How powerfully also, do we support each other by sharing not just our skill-set, but our deep understanding of an area of life expression. Knowing something of Simon Asquith’s amazing understanding of technology AND the people that utilise it, I can only but imagine the true learning his course offered. That you celebrate and appreciate it here Alexis is fabulous, and very confirming of what we can all offer each other, when we make what we ‘do’ about people first.
Very powerfully said Alexis. “…our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.”
For someone who has taken steps already in embracing technology – from the humble Facebook post to a smart phone… it could be all too easy to read this blog and say ‘that’s not me’… Until – you bring your powerful point of truth home here.
Truth is, we all have areas in life where we hold back – our willingness to go there and actually see what’s going on and what we are holding onto that hinders us, is everything.
Thank-you.
I have had computer lessons off Simon Asquith and he is so patient, understanding non-judgmental and loving as he explains for the 20th time an aspect of the computer that I was finding difficult . Not sure how he manages given I would often ask about same issue. The great thing is now I have a great understanding of computers thanks to him. He is a gorgeous man, one that I love dearly and am blessed he is a member of my family.
I love how difficulty in situations asks us to stop and explore why this is so? What are we letting in to take us away from our one true marker? Connection is the key: letting go and allowing the flow, connects us so effortlessly and on a much grander scale. Great blog thank you Alexis.
This is a very perceptive piece of writing… This ubiquitous need for recognition manifests in so many parts of our lives and in society… We can see it in where we want our children to go to school… How we want to be seen in society… This part of us that hungers for recognition and indeed separation… to celebrate the much feted individualism that has actually led us to the awful path that is humanity is on now , and that is so evident all around us, whereas deep inside us all there is the hunger for true connection, and in this our uniqueness is truly honoured
Chris, I am in the embryonic stages of coming to know what you have shared here: ‘deep inside us all there is the hunger for true connection, and in this our uniqueness is truly honoured’. The false ‘uniqueness’ that we strive for is the most one dimensional, grey, lifeless sham of uniqueness possible, even in its supposed, most glorious version. Yet when we begin to embody our true uniqueness, in connection with our soul, then we become as dazzling as a galaxy of stars.
Simon has helped me too so much around computers. In the past I always felt so ‘stupid’ around technology, I always struggled with screen time and certain programs and found I would much rather be outside playing in nature as a child and when I grew up I found there were always more interesting things to do than be on a screen. So computers and technology were never a big part of my life. When I did venture close to them I did feel intimidated by the complications and the barriers that seemed to be in place with certain things I wanted to do or get done. Simon helped me understand that technology is purposefully configured to be complicated and difficult as it was not originally designed to support us to stay connected to our hearts. Knowing this is not and should not be a deterrent to the use of technology or computers though, because given our current world and how it operates (almost completely based on technology and computer based everything), it is now for us to bring the true connection we have with ourselves to the world through technology. Hence there is a grander purpose in overcoming our fears around computers and screens, diving deep in and embracing this as another means to express our divinity.
With love at the helm then there is no-thing that can not be used as a vehicle for the Divine.
I find that Christmas and early January period very valuable. In that quiet time I can learn new and deepen my existing computer skills. Life is so much easier during the year when you have some knowledge of Photoshop and in my case programming and other skills.
Even with the anonymity, outlandishness and perversion of how ‘the internet’ sometimes (or often) communicates it is still all about people, it is people who make the internet hence it is about the way we connect and express that makes the difference. Without a voice or face to face communication can become abstract and reduced, lacking connection, but it is a choice to nevertheless be present with all the qualities we can bring as a fellow human being just as in meeting live.
Thank you for sharing this Alexis I very much enjoyed reading it and I love the way you express, how willingly you are to unravel long held behaviours.
This takes computing to a whole new level!
There is much to learn if we care to stop and feel the reflection of what is being shown to us in everything in life, not just specific areas like IT.
So amazing, you have made it so clear the differences between spirit and soul, The spirit is anything that seeks something for itself, and the soul is voluminous, and complete, which can appreciate the grace of others and be a part of the whole.
When we are open we can find wisdom and true learning in the most unexpected places.
A great article confirming that the quality in which we approach all that we do in life has a direct bearing on how we do things, how we feel when we’re doing them and the effect we’re inevitably having on everyone else. We are always contributing to the pool of energy that we are all living in and we’re individually responsible for the quality of that contribution.
How truth this is – ‘our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.’ It follows therefore that there is no incidental occurrence or gesture throughout our day without meaning for every moment is reflecting greater learning.
Deborah on reading your comment ‘ It follows therefore that there is no incidental occurrence or gesture throughout our day without meaning for every moment is reflecting greater learning’, it brought up the image of us all going through our lives as if we’re playing ‘Blind Man’s Bluff’, basically not even just blinkered but totally blindfolded, with our arms stretched out in front of us, frantically trying to work out where we are! Every-thing in our lives is constantly pointing back to us and yet we manage to completely and utterly choose to miss the point and in doing so, we make life extortionately hard for ourselves.
True Alexis – it would indeed be a humorous folly to watch if the end result were not so devastating to each other and to Humanity as a whole. The truth is that we seek the blindfold and we put it on at will and then we either claim we can’t see or deny we are without true sight.
The support you share from Simon Asquith is beautiful and something I have felt also.The honesty of what is really going on cannot be denied in our commitment and quality we bring to being all we are.
As a moderately computer-literate person, I was considering, whilst reading this blog, whether it would be something that I would sign up to. Actually – that’s a slightly unfair question in that I know Simon and so would leap at the opportunity to spend four chunks of time in his glorious presence – but, that bias aside it’s still worth considering. I feel that so many of us go through life “making do”, “getting by”, “managing” or, slightly differently, not bothering to expand, deepen, advance any of our skills or expressions etc… I see this so often, in me, in others…but what are we missing out upon? What are we denying ourselves? What are we protecting ourselves from? What are we hiding? Your course with Simon revealed and expanded so much more than just your computers skills and I feel that this is what ever ‘learning’ opportunity can offer. You opened yourself to learning…and learnt a whole heap.
I agree. Now I just need to choose to learn how to use the still and video camera properly!
Otto, ‘just enough to get by’ is ‘just enough of us to get by’.
I so agree Otto why don’t we want to expand and advance our skills. I have just come to really see this in myself how I get comfortable with what I know and don’t make the next step to see what is there, no expectations or pictures, just the next step of awareness and learning. I can feel the comfort in my job and in my relationships, it is so easy to think we are doing well when if fact we are stagnating, managing or getting by, staying on the back foot instead on the front foot of life.
It is interesting how the relationship we have with technology can show up other areas in our lives that need attention, and then when we clock it and clear it the technology becomes ridiculously easy.
So easy in fact Julie that I am still aware of the gap that the complication has left behind. It will take a little while for the gap to disappear and for the effortlessness to become my new normal.
Your attitude towards technology Alexis just highlights the extremes we can got to in order to get noticed that in the process keep us isolated from the rest of humanity. The paradox of it is that the more we learn to quell our defiant recognition seeking spirit and learn to re-connect with and live under the impulse of our Soul, the more we naturally stand out in the crowd not because we are standing apart, but because we are very much joining in, open hearted, vital and present.
It’s so easy to resist technology as it advances. It’s very easy to play dumb and fail to update our skills. I know I do this all the time. However with a little bit of application it is actually quite satisfying to learn how to do so many awesome things that can actually make our lives easier. It’s worth asking for support.
I am totally inspired by the impact of your honesty, Alexis. Whilst we try and keep anything under wraps we exhaust ourselves with the activity required in this and also the lack of self regard that says we have stuff to hide.
It is amazing what lessons are available to us from the most unexpected places when we are open to being shown the next step in our evolution.
What struck me is the simplicity of the questions from Simon Asquith. It is really logical and straight forward to start with questions about the relationship between computers (in this instance) and yourself. This shows the enormous depth that is in each and everyone of us. How supportive if we would hold and support each other to find out about the relationships we all have with all different kind of things and people in life.
It’s amazing the different ways we can find to identify ourselves as individuals and get recognition from, such as having or not having the latest gadget, dressing a particular way, driving a particular car, being the only one who knows something. It can be very subtle, but we all do it.
Simon is an amazing tech support person. He has immense patience and understanding and is a beautiful man indeed!
I have had to read your blog a few times, particularly this paragraph: “As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others. I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came.”
Mary the crazy thing is, when it all boils down to it, there is actually only one of us, we are all the collective body of God and so how ridiculous is it then for us to invest nearly all of our time in trying to feel different and separate from one other?
Our spirits can very much invest in making things difficult. I now use complication as a marker. When it is present in my life, when there is not a flow with a particular thing or activity that I am working with, I know that I am not living in a way that is allowing for divinity to come through me. This then becomes a full stop moment.
I’ve been often not a fan of computers or social media. I was in the ‘don’t go near them and that should make everything ok’. I would often offer this as part of my previous work and also personally, just don’t go on it. More and more I could see this whole world operating that didn’t seem to care if I was on it or not. In other words I wasn’t making any difference to it, but what I did while it was actually affecting me. So I took the tentative steps to getting and using a computer and logging into the social media world. It’s always a work in progress but I have learnt to become more and more active in all ways. I found it was just another way for me to be out in the world talking to people. The landscape has changed and more and more of us are online rather then offline. So if my life is about people, which it is, and that is one thing I enjoy then it doesn’t really matter where people are, I am there with them. I still have some hang ups about social media and computers but I just don’t make them bigger then they are and keep becoming more and more aware of what they are. I am not trying to fix something or get through to the other end, I’m just allowing the feeling to come up and then doing my best to breathe and let me body go. The Gentle Breath Meditation has been a great tool in this process.
Reading this and you saying that you were actually invested in computers being difficult has inspired me to consider what am I invested in making hard? One of mine is that work has to be hard so that people can give me recognition for what I do. Another is an investment in life being hard so I don’t ask myself, and others don’t ask me to be amazing and shine. Lots to reflect on with areas and patterns of making life hard in various pockets, whether it’s my ‘I’m not an office sort of person’ or ‘I prefer to work alone’. They all need re-evaluating to reveal what’s really at play in my investment to be small.
There is so much to learn about ourselves through technology. I resisted it all and social media was one area that asked me to been seen in the world, a big area of resistance. However more and more I realised how much it keeps me separated from everyone else and this wasn’t what I truly wanted. The more I choose not to put complications into my thinking about all of it the simpler and more natural working and playing with technology and Social Media it all becomes.
It’s clearly not just a computer course! Our living quality delivers much more and everyone then benefits.
’I cannot finish this article without thanking Simon Asquith for the tender care with which he held and guided the group and for the opportunity to see and feel the true beauty and vulnerability that is naturally held within all men.’ – Hear hear, I second that Alexis.
I find that anyone who is living in true connection to themselves can bring healing and evolution to everyone they meet and work with no matter what they do.
Such a wonderful inspiration here to revisit those areas of behaviour, ability and engagement with life that I have firmly assumed are set in stone. How much of them have I ‘chosen’ to be that way in order for my spirit to relish the chance of being identified as ‘special’ or ‘different’?
“I could feel the frustration in my body rise when Simon suggested that we delve a little deeper into our relationship with computers. I didn’t have time for that” haha I know that feeling when there is something I “don’t get” the last thing I want to do is work out why I just want it fixed! Yet whats amazing is that you’ve showed how much we often get in the way of ourselves. We are the ones that are the blocks not necessarily what we are using and the reason is, more often than not, down to getting some form of identification out of it. In many ways if we are great at something or seemingly useless we get recognized. It’s the middle ground we don’t like!
This raises an interesting point to ponder; when we say ‘I don’t have time’ to do certain things or talk to certain people, could there be more at play in terms of the reasons behind that avoidance… Could we be avoiding much more than just computers or technology, but a separate issue that is also affecting our relationships and behaviour in general?
Susie what you share is so true. I have realised recently that I often don’t pick up the phone, as I prefer to call people back when it suits me. I am becoming aware that there is a discomfort in me when the phone rings, especially if I know the other person will want to talk for longer than 5 minutes. So here is yet another thing that I avoid and so the question remains the same ‘what is it about how I am feeling that i am wanting to avoid?’
Yes indeed Susie, I have used ’I don’t have the time’ many times to keep people at a distant, particularly in periods where I have not felt too great and I did not want anyone to see me in a state of vulnerability, it was mainly about keeping the facade at all cost.
Technology has very much become part of the modern world is now an everyday part of life for future generations.
This is a beautiful testimony of Simon Asquith…it sounds like your four week course with him was profound as it supported you to make enormous shifts. The avoidance of anything technological is something that I recognise, but equally I can see it as a reflection of wanting to stay in my comfort zone and not expand beyond with what I am comfortable with.
So true to be reminded that any relationship with anything offers a reflection for us. Proven by the fact that you came to this amazing realisation that, on the surface of it, had nothing to do with computers or the internet.
I had a similar experience with technology for a while and was adamant that I wasn’t going to join the ‘herd’ and that I would continue to use the telephone and pen and paper to communicate. But I came to a point where I found that by not engaging in this part of life I was leaving myself behind, and that I was just stubbornly digging my heels in to keep myself ‘separate’. I needed to use a computer at work so I gradually learnt how to use one. We can become so attached and identified with what we are willing to do and not do, but in the long term it supports no one and nothing that we do, and simply holds us back from being all that we are.
There are so many different ways in which we create these scenarios for ourselves in order to seek identification and recognition. We have all done this and I certainly have – it is inspiring to feel the depth to which you are prepared to go to reveal the reasons behind your own choices here Alexis.
A silly example of my own version of not running with the herd – luggage on wheels. For years I held out against this growing trend, not wanting to look like some kind of travelling salesman. And finally I was convinced. Oh my goodness!! How ridiculous that I had been denying myself and my body such an amazing and easy gift. Now every time I’m gliding through and airport (which is very often because of my work – which makes the resistance all the more ridiculous) I literally LOVE my wheely luggage!
Otto, I love the example that you have given of a choice that you made from your head, based on an image that you had. If you had left the luggage decision up to your body then it would not have hesitated to opt for the suitcase on wheels, saving itself the pain of having its ankles bashed by the suitcase or the pressure on its shoulder of lugging the thing around!
“As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others.” This is an invaluable education for us, especially as we live in such a spirit driven world that places ginormous emphasis on being individual and standing out from the crowd however that might look, from a dire sickness to being the richest person on earth, our spirits continually seek distinction and individualism. Then enter the realm of the Soul, rich in love, stillness, wisdom and respect, the Soul wants for nothing and deeply knows the immense joy of harmony, universality and true family and once we touch this within our selves again, then we can begin the task of re-aligning a very wayward spirit back to its original purpose, to be a conduit for the Soul’s energy and the Will of God once more. And it can be a tough battle at times, because our spirits have become very addicted to standing out, getting that stamp of recognition, being noticed and like you say Alexis, soaks up very little speck it can regardless of the trail of destruction it leaves behind itself as a consequence.
True learning is when we go beyond the technical and knowledge to receive deeper insights and wisdom about ourselves.
Nothing is ever just a task. There is always something more than meets the eye and until it has been properly addressed the behaviour will not change.
This is great, thank you Alexis. All of our frustrations, our triggers and our reactions actually contain something deeper to show us about our relationship with life, and with ourselves, our subconscious patterns our underlying ideals and beliefs, and our investment in them. So rather than allowing the reaction to trigger it is worth stopping and connecting to the space in that moment and what is unfolding before us, as that is the point we can choose a greater awareness and true understanding of what is at play.
It’s amazing the recognition we can get from ‘not doing something’ being as strong as ‘doing something’ like in the case of actively part of ‘social media’ and its design as a portal for people to be recognised/seen by 100’s of people. Your post Alexis shows this inverted way and how both sides of the recognition coin are no different and the same whether in excess or stagnation!
“The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul, which is the inner-most part of all of us”. This is beautiful what you share, a confirmation that it is all within us, we just need to surrender to that knowing.
It is interesting how acknowledgement and identification can play out in difference ways – from being seen as successful and doing well, or in doing not so well, or just being different in some way even when that is to the detriment of the person.
Wow , thank you Alexis you could have placed me in that Group and I would have blended in perfectly. I have always considered I didn’t want to be someone sharing all, including what I had for breakfast with all and sundry. So no Social Media such as Facebook etc .I am really amazed with what you have come up with in regard to the way we not only hold up our evolution, but those around us. “Once we go into thinking it is the object or indeed the other person who is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact it is “Us” that has set it in motion.”
I really blown away (in a good way) by your honesty here Alexis. I have found this deeply healing to read and can feel myself letting go of the belief ‘I am a bad person’ because of some of the thoughts I have had about holding back because of not wanting others to evolve faster than me. It’s pretty hard to express because it’s so ugly, but it really does feel awesome to have it exposed and to be so honest about it.
Lucy, I completely agree that being really honest is, at times, very hard but the freedom that comes from it, is well worth the initial discomfort felt when getting these things out of our bodies. A bit similar to lancing a boil really, painful initially but well worth doing.
Shows the power that can be brought through when something is delivered with the wisdom of the universe.
I can relate to just wanting to get on with the task at hand, and not look into things deeper. I have this drive to just get things done and more often than not, just want to bypass the most important part which is the reason and the cause behind why I am doing things a certain way. It takes courage to dig deeper and I have to remind myself to be kind with myself instead of beating myself up for old ways and patterns of behaviour that I have been living with because, some I am aware of and others I am not and its not always easy to break old cycles.
‘…not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others.’ Whether we decide to shun technology, win awards, sail solo around the world, turn vegan, support a cause, play the good girl or boy, become a celebrity or live on the streets, if we’ve aligned with our spirit we’ll find a personal Mt Everest to climb to guarantee we get noticed or at the very least feed that part of ourselves that wants recognition.
‘…in order for me to seemingly stand out from the crowd, for what amounted to a matter of seconds, I was actually choosing to make life pretty damn hard for myself!’ What a great observation, and irony. Yes, we can go to so much trouble – even to the extent of introducing not only difficulty, but outright hardship in our lives… giving us even more with which to distinguish ourselves.
I love this sharing- an amazing reflection for me at this point in time as I can relate to much of what you have said about craving attention from standing out. My way of doing this was to act rejected and then this would happen- a self fulfilling prophecy that I actually wanted so that I could be seen as different.
Some may get scared by the awareness of how we ourselves set up our problems, but it is actually a beautiful feeling to be able to initiate changes, where before I felt dependent on other people’s choices.
Who would have thought that a computer course could do this?
It is an interesting to delve and ponder the reasons as to why we are resistant to doing certain activities as more often than not it is those very things that that will offer us a point of evolution.
Absolutely Donna. When I look back on my life, and even today, I have experienced the same. When all is plain sailing and we’re ‘cruising’ it is sometimes an indicator we’re become comfortable and stopped expanding into next and the new.
Beautifully exposed Alexis. Amazing how we choose to disconnect from our all-knowing source – a source that is full, complete and needs not, in order that we can complicate life and be recognised for all that we are not.
Awesome that you looked into WHY your relationship with technology was the way it was and then changed how you interacted with it from that, rather than not looking at the ‘why’ and forcing yourself to get more tech smart whilst not enjoying the process.
‘What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.’ – Mind blowing expose – the things we can do to not get ‘left behind’ is truly devastating and something for all of us to truly contemplate.
This is an awesome blog Alexis, maybe even a bit irritating for me because I can relate to wanting to stand out and wanting the recognition and it is something that I need to work on… a lot of what you shared is just what I needed to read. Thank you.
Alexis another interesting thing about what you share here is how your spirit was set on getting a reaction from others. It is funny as this feeds the cycle that we can be in reaction to everything and that is OK. If someone reacts to me, I can react to others. I have certainly been caught in that pattern in the past – but we are just feeding the spirit and not wanting to come back to our soul that needs no recognition, and therefore cannot react.
Over the years there have been many areas I have felt proud to not conform to. What I have come to see is how this way of behaving was all a trick by that part of me that wants to stay as an individual and be recognised and feel better than others. What I enjoyed in reading this blog is firstly the honesty and then the way it demonstrates when we share our natural gifts or expression in an area with another this gives them a chance to grow too. Thank you Alexis.
I know what you mean about the spirit’s ‘insatiable appetite’. If we let the spirit run it just wants more and more and more. It will stop at nothing to get recognition or identification.
What an honest sharing “as soon as I tried to do anything new, I invariably ended up spending what felt like an inordinate length of time repeating the same dead end moves over and over again, getting increasingly more frustrated, until I eventually had some sort of minor breakdown”.
I’m pretty sure everybody can relate to this, I certainly do. The world’s trying to put us into a comfortable box where we are good in certain things, just enough to get us through life. Yet, when we want to learn something new we put such enormous pressure on ourselves that we’re never able to reach the imagined goal which is a set up to disappoint ourselves. Which, of course, leaves no space at all for any form of joy.
What if we would already start with an amazing amount of appreciation to start with if we’re feeling the impulse to learn something new. That would be a completely different foundation to build on. And in my experience an experience that’s rather joyful and (can be) even playful. Feeling raw, uncertain and fragile is something extraordinarily beautiful. What if we would start embracing this all. It’s how children learn, isn’t it?
This is wonderful to read – how simple life is when listening to one’s soul and not following the spirit’s endless need for recognition. So to know what is needed for everyone through whatever medium, social media etc. and not pay attention to the yarns ones spirit can lead. Not wanting to be a sheep and follow the social media herd by avoiding it in reaction is actually the same energy just the other side of the coin but same coin. Whereas social media inspired by love is a totally different energy (or currency continuing with the coin analogy).
A lot of people claim to be no good at maths or science or social media and it doesn’t mean they are unintelligent, it means they have not yet opened up to the wonders of our world. There is a lot wrong with Science and the energy of what some people post on Social Media is awful, but we can counter that by our contribution to it. Science is what we live every day – we are always experimenting with what to eat, how to dress, it is a living way. Maths is what we see in nature in the way a tree divides its branches, the petals of a flower – we appreciate its beauty without understanding but the knowing is there. Social Media is a way to communicate our livingness with the world – we can connect with people the other side of the planet, each of us has a piece of wisdom to share and whatever words we use or whatever way we express, someone will benefit from it. We are all connected anyway – the Internet is simply a physical manifestation of that.
I love this, Carmel, putting the wonder of life back into areas and subjects that we dismiss and fear. Thank you.
I find it so interesting how we can stop ourselves from doing from fear of failure or making a mistake without actually fully giving something a go; it is a bit like picking up a guitar and expecting to perfectly be able to play a song or tune you know. It is not that you are bad at it, you simply have not given yourself the space to learn it.
This is such a beautiful appreciation of Simon Asquith done in your tender and honest way, Alexis. It inspires me to approach computers with another energy than I used to.
It’s amazing how much we can learn about ourselves and life when we’re willing to look beyond the surface!
And how much we benefit!
Very honest and great to read – the spiritual part of us is like a slippery snake that doesn’t want to be caught out but by being honest and sharing behaviours like you did we can reveal its ways.
“You see, when I got honest with myself, I discovered that I like to see myself as someone who doesn’t ‘run with the herd’…” I can relate so much to what you say here Alexis, and it exposes in me that I tend to do this in lots of areas of my life. The irony is that we think by making ourselves individual by not going with the flow, we are actually creating more separation from what we want most and that is to connect more deeply with what we know to be true, and life becomes much more simple. Whereas if we opened up to what is on offer for us, we would embrace the fact we are all connected, and by being more willing to learn new skills we are offering the same opportunity to everyone.
‘I myself have paraded the most awful details about myself to others, purely for the nod of acknowledgement that I knew my appalling behaviour would get. A raised eyebrow, a frown, a shake of the head, a tut-tut, a look of disgust and even rejection are all forms of recognition that I was seeking identification by, regardless of how that recognition came.’ Alexis, I had not twigged (or rather wanted to look at) how heavily I invest in the recognition I get in my so called ‘failings’ the identification I hold in being a certain way, playing small, being hopeless at something and far worse than anyone else, as in all of this I’m getting the recognition and the identification that my spirit craves.
Each of us has a spirit that will find any way for recognition, whether that be succeeding more than others, or being worse than others, it doesn’t matter for the spirit revels in it either way.
‘… was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.’ This is an awesome and very honest realisation to come. To understand that sometimes are asking of willingness to share is because that we know that we are bringing truth and a reflection which will benefit others. This is a relationship with expression that we can all explore. I know that I personally often do not express fully because I anticipate reaction from others.
What a brilliant insight into the art of teaching. It is not just about drumming information into people, but to truly support each person to be empowered to express their essence more fully.
It seems crazy when you look at it honestly, but I too can relate to having invested in things being difficult in the past. Now that I am letting go of the complexity and drama in life, it feels like a new space is opening up which is naturally simple and joyful.
You wouldn’t normally expect a computer course to change your life, but what your experience show us Alexis is that ultimately is does not matter what the subject matter is, what it all boils down to is the relationship we have with our selves. Sort that out and then we can just get on with life, easy, plain and simple.
Studying with Universal Medicine has brought awareness to the natural marker of racy-ness in my speech when in disconnection to my body – I love that my body is the most amazing teacher for me ☺
“One of the ways I’ve used to work out which type of fuel or energy I am using is to become aware of how I am communicating and expressing”.
“The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul”… absolutely Alexis, and feel that that’s the true worth we crave because we are this, and not the former force of worth we have become via recognition.
A priceless blog Alexis…I love it! To understand that our relationship with anything and anybody is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves is also priceless and it removes the blame and frustration that can occur by what someone or something is doing or not doing.
I am really appreciating that you enrolled for a course in an area you felt uncomfortable in Alexis, and that you were prepared to dig deeper into the spirit’s tricks and need for recognition. Your blog can relate to many areas of our life where we feel rebellious or want to be different or special. Thank you for the encouragement to look at these areas as opportunities to let go of old patterns and stories that keep us small.
I love your blogs Alexis, they are always so honest and real and I find it far easier to be honest with myself when I read what you share.
This line is an absolute standout for me today as it shows the way out of our miserable search for recognition is through connecting to our soul. “When I glimpse my soul, I can feel how voluminous it is and how it needs nothing to confirm itself, it is in itself a living knowingness.”
I too in the past did not want to support others to evolve when I owned that this was totally self centered and childish I changed. I experienced that by supporting another, you evolve with them, win, win all around.
When we have a need to be recognized we are blind to the truth which you so beautifully expose in your blog Alexis. Thank you
‘What I began to clearly see, is that I was actually invested in my relationship with computers and social media being difficult.’ I’ll put both hands up for this kind of investment – perhaps not in exactly the same way, but I can certainly relate. I have definitely invested in life being a struggle!
Awesome blog Alexis, full of rich material for us all. In what ways do we not want others to evolve ahead of us? Whenever we feel the sting of jealousy, we can be sure we are reacting to the evolution we see in another… to a level or way of living we have not yet chosen for ourselves.
As my wife often says to me jokingly, repeat after me, “technology is my friend, technology is my friend, technology is my friend.”
I keep returning to this blog as I am learning so much from it. This line is a crackup; “For example, I recalled being asked by a security guard for my mobile phone number and with a silent drum roll, I shared that I didn’t have a phone” and yesterday I kept clocking how many silent drum rolls I was waiting for….OMG….there were quite a few. Loads actually. It was awesome (and a bit ouchy) to see them. Thank you so much. Keep writing Alexis, you have a lot to share.
I also realised the negative power / force of scepticism. Scepticism is an amazing way to keep people out and a seed for separation. Not willing to learn something, choosing to be arrogant or judgemental are great ways to stop ourselves from evolving and from appreciating ourselves and others. The above blog is such an amazing testimony of true power through the willingness of being open to learn. This needs an amazing teacher but also willing students! Both were there in the above example. Thank you all.
It is good to revisit this blog as what you share is such a great exposé of the spirit and its wryly ways.
Alexis, I had a couple of ouchs reading this as I see how I too play the game of wanting to be different, and blaming others for what is going on. So I set up dramas where I am apart and somehow don’t fit in, so I’m special and different and of course I want that to be acknowledged, so your blog has been very supportive in allowing me to see and feel this, and to understand that ‘our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves’. Thank you.
Wow Alexis, you have certainly lifted the lid on what is really going on underneath our quirky behavior. When you realize you spirit is looking for recognition and wanting to stand out as an individual you realize you have built this whole false picture that only stagnates your growth.
A wonderful expose Alexis, says it just like it is ..and for of us all to consider.
I’ve used a computer every day since starting full-time work at 17, and have usually been the one in different work places to support or teach others how to work in different programs. I’ve always said, ‘just have fun with it, you can’t break anything really’. What I do need to look at with technology is when I’m using it as a distraction, and also my laptop definitely reflects to me how organised I am or not. At the moment, I have bits and pieces all over the place on my desktop and in folders that I’m leaving to sort for ‘another’ day. But this all has an impact on how it feels each time I use my laptop. It’s like before computers, working at a desk that has papers piled up everywhere and you can’t find anything. Great to know where I can get some support with this!
The spirit can sniff out recognition in the most unlikely places! I’ve been there too, on a constant hunt to be recognised as being different, and have tried many facades to execute the spirits plan. All in all, the spirit wants to stay individualised from the rest, but the Soul knows that we are all one and when we connect to that oneness we are given everything – no recognition needed because we are fulfilled by what we know to be true, that we are part of so much more than what we can see on earth.
Afraid of others evolving more than us… I know that one now you wrote it down. Sounds horrible but great to realise and let go of. It is not about who is more evolved but about that we all evolve – something that we can only do together.
This blog has made me realise how much I have been willing to give my power away – it being IT or other things outside myself. To see and acknowledge the full extent of this is a continuously unfolding process.
Ahh Alexis thank you for your honest and revealing share here. I recognise that relishing of the spirit for being seen as ‘different’ and ‘more’. Reading your blog has inspired me to be more vigilant in my own life for such tell-tale signs, as I am sure there will be a few if not many areas to work on.
I couldn’t agree more Golnaz. I recognise myself in so much of what Alexis shared and I’m opening up to the possibility that the things I believe I’m struggling with are all self created. Lately I have been increasingly frustrated by my choice to procrastinate yet when I look back over my life I can see I have relished the attention I got when I pulled things off at the last minute, proudly boasting about all nighters and great results. The exhausted state of my body tells the true story. It is bizarre that we seek recognition from things that harm us all the while sabotaging our true potential and the gold we have to bring.
I have felt ‘invisible blocks life’ great description…around study, how I used technology etc…I had made it an issue, but when we are supported by an inspirational teacher or / and observe our reactions we can clear life times of habits and behaviours. Amazing to appreciate. Thank you.
Getting out of our own way is difficult sometimes and this is a perfect example of the fact that truth can only be reflected by someone already living it themselves. If you had tried to change this without the realisations of where it was rooted as a pattern, then nothing truly would have changed.
Learning new skills is a part of committing to life and I have learned for me, it contributes strongly to making a great life. Too many times I have shied away from trying something new or delaying completing a task that is unknown, only to find that I have spent ages worrying about something that is actually never as hard as we imagine and very positive in the feelings I receive in my body. Computers are one great example, there will always be news things that are necessary to learn, and like much of life there is complication where there need not be, but my experience is most of the complication comes from my own attitude towards it, and changing this and learning the new skill removes that complication completely and makes life simply better.
Thank you for your super honest diagnosis of what was hidden under the stand off with your computer and with social media. There is always more to learn than we think and everything we do or don’t do, like or not like happens because of a reason. It is great to get these dead skeletons out of the cupboard and give them a good airing, never to be stashed away or swept under the carpet again.
A great reminder that everything is a reflection of ourselves. I was in turn frustrated and afraid of my computer. Slowly coming to terms with how they work and with myself, and how I work!
It is so easy to dismiss our natural abilities and to focus on the things we think we can’t do. Our education system is based on ‘corrective measures’ and yet when we learned to walk we fell down, stood up, fell down, stood up – we took our own time to develop what we knew how to do but physically not quite co-ordinated enough to do. It’s the same with how we live – we know what to do and we are taking our time to learn it, gradually letting go of the impediments that are getting in the way and, the more we appreciate ourselves and develop our confidence in who we truly are, the more easily we can evolve.
Exactly Carmel, I am one though that does get frustrated with things that I can’t do. What’s interesting through is that as I appreciate there are some things others can do and allow them to do that, the fight or angst in me goes. Yet one of the biggest points that jumped out was that by not doing something or going against the crowd we often do it simply to get recognised and to cause a stir.
Love to hear your appreciation of Simon Asquith. As a man, he has been a huge source of inspiration to me as to how fragile, transparent and strong a man can be. A true leader.
There is so much in this blog. I love the bit about recognition. It’s amazing when we look closely how we manage to see recognition down almost any alleyway. Superb to expose this and disarm the spirit with your honesty.
It’s interesting how you were holding back from posting on social media because you didn’t want to share your wisdom with others. How many of us hold back on social media or in everyday life for this very reason? We want to keep our wisdom all to ourselves. But what we fail to admit is that our wisdom is not ours to own. Truth belongs to everyone, and if we hold it back we do no-one any favours, including ourselves. I find that when I share what I know my body feels amazing. Why would I want to hold it back?
How amazing to be allowed and supported to find out what is the relationship with something or somebody. I can feel how the holding of Simon (in this instance) as well as the other women contributed to truly feel for yourself what’s been going on under the surface. Thank you deeply for sharing. There’s so much in this blog we could all study and feel for ourselves how this is in our own lifes. I’m getting more glimpses of why I choose competition over love and unity. Even writing this is bringing up sadness and shame.
Computers can be very exposing at showing how we are with things we don’t fully understand or in my case control. I know for myself I get frustrated when things don’t work immediately or it takes longer than anticipated. I am learning that both panic and frustration don’t work especially with computers you can’t reason or plead with them they either work or don’t and that is down to how I am with them. Through this understanding I now have a much healthier respect and relationship with my computer….and myself.
“our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves. Once we go into thinking that it is the object or the indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.”.
I find the very beautiful, precious and tender. I’m letting in that it is about my relationship with anything else. That I don’t have to protect, defend, explain my relationships in and with life, but that I am to just tenderly feel the relationships I have with both people and things. It feels very simple and powerful, yet for a long time I’ve been seemingly ‘lost’. Feeling a victim of life. This feels very real, yet isn’t the truth. When I’m in my heart and feel the loving qualities of my Soul, I feel so precious, delicate and joyful. Wow.
Thank you Alexis for your honesty and sharing this blog with us. Although we often don’t want to care to admit, I agree that we set everything, the ‘good’ and the not so ‘good’ up. There are issues arising in my relationships which I am avoiding. Indeed no-one is to be blamed but it is the relationship I have with myself that I need to look at and ask myself ‘why is it that I am setting this scenario up time and time again?’
I have always been fascinated with new technology with the changes and improvements it can make in our lives. I have lived in an amazing chapter of life in so much as what has changed in my lifetime. The transistor was invented in 1947 but not manufactured for general products till the mid 50’s that were mainly pocket radios that changed the world. I have always used technology, rather than today where it has begun to own us. There is even a phobia “Nomophobia” fear of no signal on your phone. The small transistor has taken over the world! Computers with all the amazing things they can do, they all operate from one small foundation, of true or false, there is never any judgment.
Thank you for the openness with which you are willing to share the murky corners that we all try to hide not just from others but also ourselves – you give us all the gift of reflection and the opportunity to evolve with your humility and transparency.
Touched Alexis, the games we play with ourselves and with each other! – the taut view on computers or any aspect of life, the striving for recognition at any cost, and pitching ourselves against others evolution all expose the spirit’s attempt to stay in control and to remain closed and individual.
As I sit here uncomfortably nodding along to your experiences I can feel how I have held myself back by being invested in not embracing changing technology, this has meant that it has all been a tortuous process due to my resistance and my spirit’s constant search for recognition in whatever form. It is beautiful to feel how Simon supported you all to uncover your personal blocks to allowing a flowing relationship with yourselves and the technological tools that can be an amazing aids with this evolution.
Love the honesty and humour you have bought to this topic Alexis, once again the arrow points to self responsibility and what we create to avoid this unending realisation.
Alexis what a brilliant sharing as I have no doubt that what you present here is something that is not only common for many people around IT and computers but something that we can all do around certain subjects, subjects that for some are standard but we go against the grain on them. What I love is how it’s us looking for identification and some form of buzz for our spirit that can drive this. Lots to consider.
Alexis, I deeply appreciate your honesty and the healing it brings to us all. When a person opens their heart and shares what has been so deeply held in, then something is released for Humanity. All our lives reflect so much learned experience which supports us to know what is true and what is not – whether it is the computer, food, our physical movement or area of comfort we hold on to. Everything is to be appreciated for it constantly holds the invitation to be responsible for the choices we make.
Thanks for your honesty and humour, Alexis. Uncovering a game the spirit has been playing for years is something worth celebrating, as it frees us up to be more of ourselves.
Thank you for this honest account of your computer struggles Alexis, it has me looking at my own relationship with computers and how I learn just enough to get by, which inevitably caused anxiety and keeps me less.
Learning new applications and aspects of computing is like opening a series of doors. Each one opened leads to a pool of treasures and sets a foundation for me to expand and open the next. The potential and gifts are limitless.
Alexis a beautiful sharing bringing such understanding to the resistance we may have to technology or anything in life and the reflection to us and our choices “.it was not just my relationship with technology and social media that had shifted, because the revelation that Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves. Once we go into thinking that it is the object or the indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion “. Revolutionary bringing our responsibility to be exposed.
It is so ironic that to create an image of ourselves to gain recognition we are willing to do so at the expense of our wellbeing.
Your blog Alexis makes me realise just how much we invest in complication as a way to get recognition and that it is not until we begin to resolve the need for recognition can we see just how ludicrous this need really is. And who would have thought that so much could be resolved within you by going on an IT course? It proves that it is not the subject matter being discussed by the quality of the teacher and the relationship with their students that makes the critical difference here, connection first, subject matter second.
It’s quite crazy the lengths we will go for a bit of recognition, it’s like if you’re bad at something, school work, running, you might as well be really bad and come last so at least you’re getting noticed. This blog has me asking myself lots of questions about why I do or don’t do things well.
I have found that when it comes to perceived difficulties, sharing this with others and asking for help is an important first step. Often we sit with something new and feels very alien rather than see the inner struggle for what it is: as an opportunity to go beyond unknown and learn. It’s lovely to have a teacher like Simon that supports students to explore their relationship with computers, not simply teach the mechanics.
Alexis, I feel also to share more of my background with technology and so it goes to show that we are often not alone in the challenges that we feel.
I rarely had an interest in computers and technology when I was young and only played briefly for a few weeks (if even that) a computer game when they first came out – I only played it because my dad had enjoyed getting it for me and my sister and I wanted to spend time with him. But this interest faded quickly for me. At school I was not interested in learning computers and it was the only subject that I nearly failed. There was a part of me that always felt stupid when it came to computers. Really it was not stupidity, but it was like this energy was there hounding me and making me feel stupid every time I went to use a computer or other technology. And so this too stayed with me as I grew up and as a result I was very reluctant to use a computer or get a mobile phone etc. But I had 1 session with Simon Asquith and this did change things phenomenally. I no longer tend to get into this ‘head set’ of thinking I am stupid – of course I ask for help when I need it (which in the beginning was very often) but I am far more open to hearing what is being offered as help now rather than disempowering myself and thinking I am incapable. And I have learned to even google stuff when I don’t know how to do it!
I love what you have shared Alexis and can relate to it all along. Whether we like it or not, technology is the current way and certainly part of our future. It is time we dropped all these complications and embraced this way to reach out to the world.
I love your honest blog Alexis – for me your honesty and speaking the truth is very inspiring and infectious. Thank you for being such a wonderful role model for truth.
As everything in life is a reflection of ourselves having issues with new technologies or anything new, to me shows that we are reluctant to evolve and to be part of that. Otherwise we would just see what it is, if it will be supporting or not to ourselves and others in our evolution back to Soul.
Thank you Alexis. I have not stopped thinking about your blog since I first read it. I feel it is amazing that a computer course would allow you the space to delve deep enough into yourself to be able to uncover the true reason things are difficult. It is clear that Simon delivered the workshop with the authority that can only come from someone who has dealt with a lot of their own issues. You help me to see that every difficulty we have in life is actually something we have constructed ourselves and we can disarm it if we are willing to be honest and loving as we uncover it.
You have touched on so much here Alexis that makes my whole body go ‘ah that’s what’s going on!’. What’s interesting is that we think when we don’t follow the norm or we are doing the complete opposite that somehow we are better, we are better than the person that follows, we are better than the person that does everything perfectly but if we are going the opposite way in reaction and for recognition, then there is no difference energetically. One just appears to be favoured over the other. Both are filling an emptiness of believing we are not enough. I know this too well and have seen it play out big time recently. There have been two very distinctive choices, what is just for the self hence delighting the spirit or what supports the whole which feels super simple when it comes from the soul.
Everything is a choice. And I have realised that I have spent a lot of my life choosing not to make choices, appearing superficially to be a victim of circumstance when actually I was simply choosing not to be responsible for the part I played in every situation and outcome. I also actually really identified with being a victim and whilst it was tough to admit this, even quietly to myself, it has been one of those turn around moments when I realise that we can use either ‘success’ or ‘failure’ to seek recognition and attention. Once seen clearly it no longer makes any sense to choose this and over some years I have gently but firmly put myself back in the driving seat of responsibility. The impact on my life has been simply huge.
It’s interesting how through the most simple and so called mundane things, the greatest wisdoms can grow.
Great sharing. I’ve been lately feeling the extend to which the spirit goes to keep itself separated from everything and anything; and then it suffers non-stop in its desolation…..yet any dose of attention would do…but attention lasts little and it’s bottomless…what a vicious cycle, it is so cleverly orchestrated. I am really fed up with it, but I know this is not the attitude either…I am just really amazed of the layers and layers of self-identification that keep coming up…pheu!
Thank you for sharing this Alexis, it is so revealing …and healing to be honest with ourselves about the games we can play and how they separate us from each other and what we truly want.
I am really appreciating the reminder, through this blog and all the comments, that IT, like everything else in life, is affected by energy, therefore, it’s my responsibility to be very aware of what I am bringing to my computer when I sit down to use it.
It’s so inspiring to read about your ‘expansion’, Alexis, to feel how, with our different expressions, we are all able to offer a different perspective and support each other to widen our understanding in different aspects of our lives. True brotherhood.
I rejoice in this latest ‘manual wrenching’ (you’re such an honest crack up, Alexis) of this horrible trait of the vast majority of human beings, to keep others down in order to feel good about ourselves.
Well this was certainly a pleasure to read. Amazing how much recognition can play a part. We’re taught it from a very young age and boy is it hard to shake. But as you point out with Simon, it is not so much him as much as it is the way he lives, his Livingness, that has allowed him to be the way he is. Take that recognition!
“……I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.” I love your honesty here Alexis, and how you have been willing to be so open about what held you back from fully engaging with Social Media and is something I can also relate to. Its crazy how we can get ourselves in the way of so many things, which gets us nowhere, and inspires no one, when we could make such a simple choice to change how we approach things, which would potentially change so much for so many.
The spirit is wayward and chooses recognition like none other but I love it to bits and it is funny to see its games and patterns. The more that I embrace and accept this as a part of me to also appreciate opens up a deeper relationship with myself. Seeing the spirit’s patterns as what they are and still being able to appreciate them allows the prison of judgement to open up into a new depth of awareness that is very precious. My relationship with computers was that to want to take a short cut, I end up taking a long route in doing things, so everything feels a little more complicated, obviously my relationship with myself and life–doing it the “hard” way. But appreciating that developing slowly I have developed understanding in many areas, and this has allowed me to understand myself and others more and to clock and choose simplicity now like second nature, and get this, with more patience!
The analogies we get with technology never cease to amaze me, for example, when we are are all steady during an Internet based meeting, all goes well, but sometimes I can’t be heard or my connection goes down and that always gives me something to reflect on.
What a revelation: not knowing how to do something (in this instance being able to use the computer) is actually choosing to not let the world know about the amazing wisdom we hold inside. Could this actually be a part that could be true for all the things we claim we don’t like or can’t do? To me it actually reveals that there’s a lot to take responsibility for!
I just had a dream last night about jealousy and comparison so it was perfect reading this blog today. As you have shared, we really don’t want to admit that we feel that way, to ourselves let alone anyone else! Yet when we do it can dissolve instantly, as it is only the spirit that wants to keep it in its toolbox. Being aware that it can be an undercurrent affecting our behaviour puts a spotlight on it.
You really know you are getting true service when you can claim that a program is life- changing. It’s great to develop skills and learn new things to help us navigate through life. But what really matters is our evolution, our relationship with ourselves, our soul and each other. If that can change, (and it can in an instant) then that is the gold that can come with any service.
I am saying it again, simply brilliant blog Alexis!!! You have explained the difference between living from the spirit and from our soul beautifully, easy to understand and so, so true. The many forms of recognition comes in many flavours and disguises. I never used to consider seeking disapproval from others is a form of recognition, it makes so much sense though and exposes how anything that is about self-gain doesn’t support us in any way, and it stunts our evolution and our connection to our soul. So, any form of wanting to stand out, be different to others, disconnect, or be better than others are all driven from the spirit. This is pretty interesting because when I look around me, our society celebrates this, it celebrates recognition. We are taught this at schools, at work and even at home. I love how you are so open and honest around exposing the many tricks and games we play with seeking recognition. It is rife and the more we are open and willing to recognise and expose these behaviours the more we are able to let them go. Especially when we can see so clearly how they can hold us and others back from true connection and to evolution.
I feel like I could read this blog forever Alexis. I too have been exposing where my spirit is having a field day by ruling the roost and doing it’s own thing at my and many other’s expense. It is so incredible to expose it for the games that it plays and that some of them do indeed need to be wrenched from your throat when you discover how awful the game actually is. And that you have been implicit in setting it up with your spirit. Awesome work.
Thank you for your honest dissection of your relationship with yourself all disguised in the one you had with technology Alexis! When I go deeper than the presenting issue, I always feel the growth and expansion. I can literally feel the knot unravel and the release in my body. I had this feeling reading your blog. Thank you for this gift!
“Not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others.” It’s interesting that the more we expose the spirit the trickier it seems to get in finding ways to keep itself separate. In the beginning when I was first introduced to the spirit and the soul, it was more obvious the things that stood out as being the spirit in separation. But as the spirit has become more exposed, I am finding gems in discovering the not so obvious patterns that our spirit uses to keep us away from living in the fullness of who we really are.
There is a vast difference between being who you are, whether that distinguishes us from others or not and simply being different because it gives us identification. The latter makes us utterly dependent from others for our identification – if they adopt our behaviour, we are forced to change or there won’t be any more identification.
I had to smile in recognition as I read your blog Alexis – not only did I have a very similar experience resisting new technology, I had a huge fear I would not understand it or that I would accidentally click the wrong button and erase important data. My sessions with Simon made me understand that this fear was made up by me thinking that IT was just for those who are particularly gifted within the technical field. Not true. I am amazed at how computers and phones responds to energy – if I am present with every move I make on my device, or not – IT (pun intended) will respond accordingly.
I agree. That response by computers can be quite disconcerting but also supportive as it is instant feedback.
This is great what you say Eva. Our relationships with the seemingly inanimate world of IT are just as revealing and evolution-offering as our relationships with each other. Everything is energy and I find computers, internet and all of that to very often be a very swift and truthful reflection of where I am at. Yes, we can blame the technology or the server or the memory or the…..but that is no less irresponsible than not seeing our own part in, for example, a disagreement with our partner.
Your words Alexis should inspire us all to revisit every ‘issue’ we have and re-evaluate whether they are in actual fact true, or are an investment in something we are getting off on clinging too. I love the analogy of sniffing up surprise like a dose of a drug. You really show us that there is something inside of us that absolutely knows what it is doing. So what if we approached these topics, not as a disability or difficulty but as an area we have a great opportunity in?
Thank you Alexis for sharing with such honesty; it is your honesty that has given me a healing too.
I feel I took the computer course with you all… and I much needed it! You helped me see the part I had not wanted to see, that I have been getting identification in my “commuter struggles”.
I create my own set ups; I can get honest, let go and move forward. Hurray.
We hold ourselves back in the craziest ways. What we will do to get recognition from the outside to fill the hole that is left from not loving ourselves makes no sense at all.
When Serge Benhayon presented this concept that we strive for recognition, even if it is from chronic fatigue, I had to sit with it for a while. But it did explain some of the things that people get stuck in for no “good” reason. So much appreciation to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for opening my eyes to see things in a new light.
Our relationship with ourselves is reflected in how we are living each day and our livingness will reflect learning opportunities for us if we choose to see them. Alexis, what a difference to your life now that you have not let this learning opportunity go by. I do not know Simon Asquith personally but have felt his very gentle and joyful presence at the workshops and can appreciate what he brings to any tutoring he does.
Isn’t it funny how we can resist embracing advancements in technology simply so we can be different or prove something. I remember being proud of this too. But it does simply expose the spirit in it’s little game of wanting to be recognised as something. Once we drop this and accept that we actually need be no different, we too can reap the benefits of technology, and life can become so much easier.
Very true Rebecca. As a teenager I refused to learn to type as I thought this would ‘safeguard’ me from ending up in a boring office job.Years later after working in very stressful retail roles I was overjoyed to land an office job… but I had to learn to type. I remember crying with a friend as they took me through the motions of touch typing and feeling all the false ideas I had about typing come out of my body as I committed to doing what I needed to do. It is amazing what we can change when we really want to.
“… I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.”
Thanks Alexis for spelling it out. I know I dug my heels in before unwilling to share everything I have learned with the world as I was so set to get ahead and be the best. It is a very humbling process to get in service and just do what needs to be done next in order for us all to return to the truth we are from, without looking for any kind of self-gain.
When you said ‘a part of you doesn’t want others to evolve – there I said it’ I just nodded in that knowing of a game being up, can’t get away with that anymore. I always am fascinated by my relationship with social media and others and the almost obstinate refusal to engage, to be seen, to share and there you said it maybe we are all very comfortable with the status quo and our positions…
“ . . .our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” Alexis, it is so empowering to realise this because then we can let go of blame and take responsibility for our life.
I bought a new computer but very soon after I had difficulty getting it to turn on and the Mac store gave me a replacement but the same thing happened again. I then took a look at myself and realized that it was my energy that was causing the faulty booting and not the computer itself. I would press the on button with a great deal of force coming from my resistance to sitting for long hours at the computer so I actually had an abusive relationship with my computer. Once I realized this and changed my attitude I have had a much healthier relationship with my computer and it is working harmoniously as I am now I have let go of my resistance.
Wow. It is amazing to consider the impact of how we approach things on how they play out.
Since reading your blog for the first time yesterday Alexis, the notion of just how tricky the spirit is has stayed with me. I am having a much deeper awareness of all of the different ways that my spirit works to stay individual, to be special, to seek recognition. Thank you for your exposure on just how far the spirit is willing to go to keep itself in ‘self’.
This blog confirms the fact that there is more to learn from people, from each other than mere knowledge and the narrowness of what we have allowed intelligence to become. Intelligence is wisdom and it comes from the quality of relationship we have with our bodies.
You go to the heart Alexis of so much complication that goes on in our lives, you show that it is an absolute choice we make to be ‘different’ ‘helpless’ or ‘just not that kind’. I also loved how you described how the steady loving presence of Simon helped you to gently unpick the stitches of this self-created straight jacket. With honesty we can give ourselves this support too, choosing to continue on in these restricted beliefs is an act that just does not compute.
It’s so interesting that our relationship with everything is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. Thank you Alexis for sharing this. I can feel myself evolving.
Ha ha Alexis, super! another fantastic blog, love the way you write and express what is in us all and express what many of us find difficult – “there I said it” … with such humility and pith that it makes everything alright… like it’s nothing, yet everything through the admission. Your realness creates and opens a pathway to unite people. Wonderful.
You’re so on to your spirit in this article Alexis it’s a joy to read! The lighthearted yet deep realisations that came to make me very aware of the identification the spirit can get from the most unloving of thoughts or actions, we don’t even need to be around the supper table with others!
I loved reading your blog, you’ve brought more awareness and attention to my own relationship with technology and social media! and also that of what I gain recognition for… Very interesting indeed!
Thank you Alexis for sharing with us your experiences – it’s truly amazing how deviously the mind works against us when we let it have reign over our lives. I was reticent with technology until I realised that I wanted to be part of todays world and not be left in the past. Having said that I can still become frustrated so it feels like there is more to ponder on and explore.
This is so incredibly honest, it automatically supports the reader to look into or at those hidden beliefs, thoughts or ideals that aren’t loving and we know are lurking around and there. It asks others (the reader) to call these out as well so they no longer have a hold on us. So much is said here. Yes it is ourselves that sets up our relationships with anything good or bad it has to come from us first ‘What I was getting to see more and more clearly was that it was actually ‘me’ that had set up my whole dire relationship with technology and social media.’ You not only felt this but then went, with the help of Simon, to pinpoint why you had set this up. It is not comfortable to do this but once done incredibly freeing and I can feel in my body after reading this there is something for me to look at and feel that I haven’t wanted to. Thank you.
Great sharing Alexis, so many people have blocks with technology or other things but it actually has nothing to do with the medium but rather the block they have placed in the way of it. Looking at our relationship with it or things first and then addressing them suddenly things flow. As soon as we think something is going to be hard more than likely it will be!
Thank you for sharing your experience with your resistance to keeping up with technology, and how it was brought up to the surface. It is clear that the spirit will do everything and anything to get recognition, even if it makes life difficult for us.
You definitely nailed it, when we don´t want to evolve ourselves, ie holding onto identification through recognition for being special, different or else we cannot bear to see someone else evolve much less support them to evolve – quite a destructive and selfish posture that only can bring forth suffering.
I can so relate to what you have shared with us all Alexis, my relationship with my computer has improved but there is a lot of work still to be done and this is a direct reflection on my relationship with myself it has improved but way, way more to go 🙂
Reading this let me realize again how the idea of ‘being against it’ is such an illusion. When we go against something we are with it. If we want to bring a true change into something we have to change the quality we express and so our quality with it. I always thought I am a rebellion and did fight against this or that. Thereby I did feed the general system. Now I start more and more to see myself as a servant for mankind, I see my connection to everything and all and see the responsibility in that. To take this responsibility and bring what is needed for all to heal and evolve makes true sense in life. To take our relationship to technology and our surroundings in general as a reflection for us and our choices, is one point of responsibility. In that lies so much revelations for us – we indeed need no adventure tours anymore: life is deep and vibrant enough.
Learning to discern the spirits game in us and how we make choices that go against our own health and well being allows us the space to choose differently. I love how you have exposed the way this game can be played out and how it can keep us small and ‘happy’ without the tiniest step in evolution.
Your depth of honesty is extraordinary Alexis Stewart. To ‘fess up to feeling your “… reluctance to enter into the world of social media (being because) I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me” is inspiring beyond words. Honesty paths the way to evolution.
‘What I could feel skulking deep within my body, was that part of my reluctance to enter into the world of social media was because I knew that the things I would share, would enable others to evolve – and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me. There, I said it.’ A really beautifully honest sharing Alexis. There have been times in my life too where I have felt jealousy of others and have not wanted them to evolve because of the reflection back to me about my own choices.. It feels really sticky and yuk but I’d much rather admit to it then live with it in my body and the insidiousness of the denial of it it!
What a really great sharing, I know only too well how shifty, and what lengths the old spirit will go to for just a slither of recognition. Reading this will help me look at all the inanimate objects in my life that I don’t get on well with and what they are reflecting to me.
So true Brendan, once again this shows the grace in self responsibility, addressing the inner before the outer.
Alexis, i love the honesty with which you have been able to undress the set up you had created for yourself and your relationship to technology, undoubtedly this is something that many can relate to, the understanding and lightness with which you have observed yourself and your need to be seen is inspirational.
What I’ve discovered is that we cannot afford for there to be a part, or an element of life that we do not fully embrace, whether it be technology, or the way things change at work, or whatever. Life is constantly changing and evolving and moving on, and we can’t afford to be stubbornly stuck in the past.
This is an enlightening sharing of what is really going on with our relationships with everything and how we are and our sprits call for recognition and attention.Very exposing and very honest with a beautiful honesty and offerings that are so relatable to and are very important to see as it explains so much of life and our struggles from not wanting to commit and to blame everything else and be dishonest. Amazing.
I had a similar experience with someone I signed up with for help with re-doing my CV. The first couple of session I spent uncovering the relationship I had to work and my chosen profession. It was very revealing and helped me uncover some blocks I didn’t realise were there. Once that was cleared, the CV part was a breeze.
What I love about this blog is that it shows that it does not matter what we are doing we can have the most life changing realizations occur while we are doing it. Who would have imagined that taking a computer group would lead to so much change but the truth is it does if we are open to be honest with ourselves.
Thank you for being so honest Alexis. It really is all about the relationship we have with ourselves. You are right, your sharing has helped with my evolution. It has given me something to ponder on and consider what is behind some of the choices I make.
In a similar way to you Alexis, I started to work on my relationship with money recently and was met with the same wisdom there. As you say, the object is simply a reflection of our relationship with ourselves and not something we can honestly blame for our woes. Money is not the root of all evil but it does offer us a reflection of ourselves and ideals, beliefs, attitudes, approaches and behaviours we might equally choose to let go of.
Alexis, this blog is so needed and who would have thought so much would unfold in your experience with learning to use computers. For me the penny is finally dropping on something that I have been told time and time again and that is we have a choice in every moment to choose love or not.
Reading this I am left pondering a question of how many of us deliberately create conflict in our lives to get some level of attention and recognition. Perhaps this starts to explain some of the events going on in our world where conflict is prevalent – because conflict is what we are choosing within.
This is truly beautiful – to work to evolve others through your own expression, knowing that you will be taken care of in the process.
The ways of the Spirit….
Who would believe that a computer course could reveal so much about yourself Alexis, you show it is not so much the course but through Simon Asquith and his ability through reflection, offered you an opportunity to see how much of a game you had played in not wanting to evolve. I love the way you unravelled this revelation it was beautiful and enjoyable to read and to see just how much the spirit knows how and where to use every day scenarios to hold us back.
Your honesty is inspiring, “…and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.”
“As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others.” Learning about the difference between spirit and soul was a revelation for me. None of any other spiritual courses I have attended mentioned – or knew – of this fact. Learning about the spirits tricks has made it easier to spot when it wants to have its way with me – insatiable – as you say Alexis.
Alexis, I so love the depth of honesty you are wiling to share. Thank you. I have been clocking how in fact I haven’t got that everyone being absolute equal thing embodied in me, and how I am holding onto a ‘position’ comparing myself to others who I might place above or below me and I was seeing this as a big issue I really had to deal with. The feeling I am getting now, having read your sharing and also having had a session with a most amazing practitioner yesterday, all it takes is to stop fighting what is already here – that no matter what the spirit may like to think, the fact that I am an equal part of the whole never changes and this fact is very much known in my body.
Thank you Alexis, I can fully appreciate this bizarre self sabotage that we choose to play out in order to get noticed and be recognised; the Rebel with a cause, a cause to disrupt everyone’s evolution including one’s own! This is such an honest sharing and you have given us an amazing opportunity to look at our own behaviours in the light of the attention we are seeking through them. Thanks to years of studying Universal Medicine, I have been able to relinquish this ‘going against the grain’ attitude as a way to gain attention, finding that when we allow our selves to simply get on with life with no dramas the harmony and joy this brings far out weighs those little grains of recognition I sought so hard to get before.
This is an absolutely amazing blog, and so honestly raw. I love the fact you can write – yes I do all this recognition – it set alarm
bells ringing in me, in all the underhanded ways, I seek recognition. Time to look at them.
Thank you Alexis for exposing the ways of the spirit to seek recognition by not joining the current trend in social media and technology.
Our relationships with everyone and the things in our life that increase our connections with others are inseparable today! But, these technology’s are just tools that we control unless we lose our self and become controlled by them.
Alexis, I love your open-ness and honesty in regards to all that was being revealed and released about that character that seems to like to think it is in charge. A part of me went wow – realising that it is not necessarily only for us oldies to have to learn to love using our computer and developing social media skills but there are others as well, even though the behind the scenes may look slightly different (mine was about the shame of showing the supposed decline of intelligence)it seemingly comes from the energy of seeing oneself as ‘less than’ (or more than) just separate in some way. About a month ago with the guidance of one of the students who took me under her wing, I bought an I Mac, changing from a PC. – this was because it had been suggested more than once that I ought to develop a loving relationship with my computer and that was an impossible situation with a 12 year old p.c. that was totally ‘stuffed up’. I can honestly say now my relationship with my new computer is blossoming day by day thanks to the guidance and know how that is shared lovingly by friend Kate – brotherhood in action, as is your experience with Simon.
Alexis, I can relate to a lot of what you share. It also took me a while to fully understand and embrace the potential new technology offered. For me, long held beliefs of not being ‘good with technology’ held me back. I was blessed to have a nephew that supported me in person and on-line to overcome my fear and resistance. Most of all his support, never judgemental or hurried, but patient, consistent and clear, step by step simply showed me how. His enthusiasm, joy and playfulness in solving tech problems inspired me to want to learn more and slowly I grew in confidence. The journey is un-ending: always more to learn and social media is the next frontier.
Alexis what an incredible story and relationship with technology and computers. I’ve never looked at things in the way you have shared in your post yet it makes so much sense. I really appreciate it.
A while ago I found in me the same ugly intention of keeping others less than me. What an illusionary task, since we are all the same.
This is an extraordinary article that touches the very core of my understanding about identity and the spirit’s desire for it, however it comes and at whatever cost. I know this writing is an amazing invitation to explore some shady corners that my spirit has been keen for me to ignore.
I have had this feeling all of my life that others would be better, more loved, more recognised and so I have given up on myself and withdrawn myself. I learned to give power away to others and gave up on myself. Now you sharing this the remebrance and the consequences of my choices are coming more to the surface. Alexis, the openess and love in your sharing is touching me.
I have had this feeling all of my life that others would be better, more loved, more recognised and so I have given up on myself and withdrawn myself. I learned to give power away to others and gave up on myself. Now you sharing this the remebrance and the consequences of my choices are coming more to the surface.
The part you highlighted stopped me in my tracks too Susan. I totally love Alexis’ honesty and the way she writes makes it sooo relatable. It reminds us too, to be honest with ourselves with regards to how we play out different things in life to avoid evolution, brotherhood, love and harmony. It is so awesome because I too feel inspired to expose some of these games I have played out to avoid evolution.
For those of us who are coming to know our soul, me included, these beautiful words have been expressed at exactly the right time. “When I glimpse my soul, I can feel how voluminous it is and how it needs nothing to confirm itself, it is, in itself a living knowingness”. Thank you Alexis for not holding back in sharing this inspirational story, and in turn offering those who read this blog an opportunity to evolve, alongside you.
Alexis, I love your blog. Absolutely brilliant, so, so honest, light-hearted and inspiring. I was laughing out loud quite a few times because I could so relate to what you were sharing and saw some very similar things that I do too to seek recognition. Great to read, it is hugely supportive for me, as I am working as much as possible to eliminate the need to seek recognition. I will definitely be reading your blog again and again. There is so much in your blog for me to learn, and I hugely appreciate your beautiful expression. Thank you!
This is so awesome Alexis. I found myself squirming knowing that relentless search for recognition all too well. Simon’s wisdom in encouraging you all to uncover what truly holds you back is groundbreaking.
The honesty and eloquence you express in is inspiring and humbling Alexis… “The more that I am able to let go of identification, the more I can feel that I am connecting to my soul, which is the inner-most part of all of us…” Your expression is definitely evolving for all who read your blog… more blogs please!
Amazing sharing and your openness is so admirable!
Love this, what you share here can be applied to any part of life in that we seek individuality in making life hard for ourselves. It is an incredible way of keeping ourselves and others from evolving.
How amazing to have a teacher that makes the teaching first and foremost about the student(s). From a knowing Wisdom that naturally lives inside. How different! How Gracious.
It’s true, blaming objects or other people for our issues doesn’t get us anywhere! Being willing to truly see the kind of relationship we’ve been choosing with someone or something allows us to genuinely learn and grow.
Loved reading this story Alexis and I loved your honesty. I can recognise a few traits in there in regards to wanting to stand out and be different to gain recognition. And in doing so it always seems to be a case of actually holding myself back from a simpler life in order to be seen as different or unique.
You crack me up Alexis – the wise and now computer savvy comedian!
Alexia. Brilliant blog. I’ve had to put my phone down as I lay in bed to allow my body to process this topic of identification. Your honesty has allowed me to unlock some things for myself. Thank you.
Oh this is so familiar Alexis, and a great eye opener for me. I recognise so well that arrogant stance of being the one who does not follow “the trend”, and so sticks out like a sore thumb. Coming to understand in yourself that it is also a way of trying to keep others from evolving more than you while at the same time you make yourself lesser keeps everybody back, is a huge thing to admit, but valuable for us all to ponder. How we hurt ourselves in this way, and diminish our true light that wants to shine. But knowing it we then have a choice to change.
Alexis, this blog deeply calls on us to reflect on our relationships with everything and that if there is the tiniest hint of ‘Me’ in it then there is further pondering to be had. Thank you for the wise words and honest sharing – i can already feel aspects of ‘holding on’ to particular ways coming up.
“As a result of beginning to understand the difference between spirit and soul, I can feel in my body that not only does the spirit have an insatiable appetite, but also that it will take anything at all that sets it apart from others” . . .This is a great understanding to come to Alexis and is the basis of all competition, comparison and jealousy; and separateness in general
Alexis, your article prompted me to explore why I also feel like a dinosaur when using technology. I feel it’s because with technology I’m being asked to change the way I do things, to communicate with people via a different medium, to change the way I do things such as banking etc and I’m sensing that I’m a little contrary, not someone who is willing to go along with things just because everyone else is. I have to feel that it’s the way I want to go too …. I’m not quite sure whether it’s identification or sheer stubbornness. Either way, it’s arresting moving forward. Great to have this exposed. Thank you.
I smiled deeply when I read your article this morning, Alexis. I thought I was the last person on the planet to get a mobile phone, about 5 years after my partner got one, in fact I think he may have bought mine for me! I remember feeling that I didn’t want to be ‘available’ for every minute of the day or night, but then, that’s what the mute button is for 🙂
Thanks Alexis , I can relate to not wanting to run with the pack and to join social media until less than a year ago. Mostly from a lack of time or not wanting to waste time which it can be ,but also a part of me keeping the rebel alive and the recognition of being a rebel in life as in the past it was definelty a form of identification for me .You are hilarious by the way and crack me up and loved the part about the security guard and phone caper .
Beautifully shared Alexis – thank you so much. What you share is some of what I already understand and absolutely appreciate from first hand experience. What is incredibly appreciated in the truth you went to regarding evolution for everyone. I’m very aware of the holding back my evolution in the delay process (which the fog has lifted from a lot with heart felt thanks to divine Simon A). However you opened up the deeper responsibility that holding back anything means delay in evolution for others. Even a FB or Twitter Post.
Wow amazing blog Alexis. Your line: “that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” stood out for me in that I know all relationships with others do come back to the relationship with ourselves but I had not in full taken this further to every-thing in my life. This explains some of my reoccurring doubts and complication I have in the process of working for my study. I have these doubts from time to time also in myself and this is where I have to start not with solving my study.
“… Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.” That is the beauty of life – every little thing is a reflection, an offering to show us how we are with ourselves… what a gift we are being offered in every moment.
Our spirit thinks it is so clever … conveniently blaming the way our lives are on people and objects outside of us when in fact it is us/spirit who has created it all, and in this blaming the spirit attempts to dissolve all responsibility for what it has created! Great to call it all out Alexis, to see it for what it is, and to allow true change.
Alexis, love love love love love love what you have shared and the honesty and humour in which you write. Thank you. Sometimes when I read a blog, a line jumps out and I highlight it to copy and paste to comment on but I felt like I could highlight your whole blog. This is one that I will return to on many occasions as it reveals so succinctly and bravely that we are the masterminds of our own messes. And that’s something we need a reminder of often!
” Once we go into thinking that it is the object or the indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.” What a great realisation to have in our awareness, especially when we are dealing with inanimate objects that we blame for having a mind or their own….Hmmm
Amazing blog Alexis, I had so much fun reading it as I can relate to a lot you are sharing, so much similarities. And this a truth we should not and cannot deny; ‘Once we go into thinking that it is the object or the indeed the other person that is to blame then we have lost sight of the fact that it is ‘us’ that has set it in motion.’
Our need for recognition has many guises, non of them true. How incredible Alexis that you have been willing to look at this one head on and uncover all that you have chosen to hold your self back. A course with many great lessons, most of which were probably not about computers.
OMG! Amazing! Thanks Alexis for sharing. I love how Simon is offering this service, a service so true and completely dedicated to supporting others.
Your honesty and openness in sharing is inspiring to read Alexis, and what I find quite extraordinary is how much information our bodies have to offer us constantly – if we choose to listen.
Alexis I love that way you write and express with such openness and honesty. What you have shared is so powerful, offering us the opportunity to consider how the nature of our relationships with anything is a direct reflection with our relationship with ourselves. It is often the case that we blame another or some-thing for what is in truth a restlessness or unease that we feel within ourselves. I have discovered, realised and continue to learn of how this plays out in my relationships, in all facets of life. Yet as you have shown us so brilliantly, through honesty we can expose that aspect of us, which is not implused from our Soul, that serves only to keep us isolated, separated and trapped in seeking recognition and identification through the momentum of behaviours and the quality of relationships we choose to invest in.
Loving the honesty of this ‘ and part of me didn’t want others to evolve more than me.’ I don’t doubt most people have felt this. We all have spirits and they seem pretty predictable – individualisation at any cost – so I know times when I’ve been super helpful for recognition and then got upset when that person has done ‘better than’ me at something. Ugly stuff. What’s lovely, and what I feel from reading this, is when someone helps you with the sole/soul purpose of truly supporting someone – no attachment to outcomes or hidden agenda of theirs. Inspiring to read and feel the lovely quality of this as this way brings the yumminess that no recognition could ever fulfil.
I love how you write Alexis with all your humour and humbleness and willingness to whole-heartedly peer beneath the veil that keeps us ‘safe’ or shall we say, conveniently hidden. Exposing the antics of that part of us (spirit) that seeks to live in separation to the glorious whole it is a part of (Soul) is never a comfortable task but it does bring great joy and liberation for we are no longer owned by a ravenous beast that thrives off complication and hungers for recognition that will not let the light of its true maker be seen for the beholding love that it is.
Our mission here on Earth is to tame such a beast and send it whimpering home to the love from which it departed from. What I love most about this return to our inner most self is that it is our ‘beast’, the human spirit, that makes the choice to come in from the cold back to the warmth of the Soul, and never the Soul that searches for and tries to appeal to its lost and lonely fragment. And although this wayward spirit may kick and scream along the way creating delay and resistance, its safe journey home is assured by virtue of the quality of which it left not ever having changed but just being there as the great body of love that it is and thus, with no want nor need is able to pull in the ‘beastly fragment’ simply because the Soul’s undying love is far greater than the force we call on to oppose it.
Simon is my brother in law, I have been personally privy to his computer counselling genius in my own sessions with him. I think it’s so beautiful the way in which you have shared your appreciation and process in this article. The way that you write really invites the reader in and was extremely engaging. I was asking myself some questions about the blocks that have come up with computers and was considering how invested I might be in needing help with all things that are beyond basic functions on the computer….interesting to feel what is coming up.
Wow! This article sure packs a punch. The level of honesty you went to allowed me to feel so much within myself. When we strive to be ahead, separate or recognised we are living as individuals and not in the brotherhood we are designed to live in.
Thank you Alexis for what is a very balanced blog. Balanced with appreciation for Simon, honesty from yourself and a map for all of us in our relationship with ourselves and everything else. It’s interesting to see the reasons you had held yourself back from the relationship with technology and I would think so often people would relate this to someone being less or even not intelligent perhaps. But the honesty you have written about shows us that you could feel everything you were doing but just needed a space to be able to express it openly. In that space, supported by Simon, you were able to talk yourself through the awareness of what was going on and see it clearly. This is all testament to your living relationship with yourself, to Simon, to Universal Medicine and to Serge Benhayon. In other words everyone played their part for you to be able to play your part, none greater then the other just everyone dedicating to the quality they live and in that quality all working together, very inspiring thank you again.
It is funny how you describe the pride of not conforming. There are so many people who are proud of not confirming that form and conform to a big group of not conforming and thus often conform more within their collective than those that they perceive as conforming!!!
Great blog Alexis love it and some wonderful points that apply to all of us in subtle and not so subtle ways. The key thing is how much the spirit craves recognition and it takes anything as recognition and attention from tut tuts to praise it makes no difference to it. There is a great description of the spirit here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html
The human spirit will do anything for recognition as this is a sure way to keep us feeling individual. A beast of its own, if left to its own devices will run wild beyond measure. As you say Alexis, it will use anything to keep us feeling special, as though we have our own unique place in the world. When we begin to highlight all of the tricks it has up its sleeve the spirit loses its power and its game is up.
‘ …in order for me to seemingly stand out from the crowd,…I was actually choosing to make life pretty damn hard for myself!’ – This is a very cool realisation Alexis and one I can relate too – as if sometimes I choose to be the victim and prove that something is against me just to be different. But really – I am making things hard for myself – and for what? To get a bit of recognition? Very exposing.
Working in IT and technology support for many years my continual experience is the lack of connection to people and more about the technology. As Alexis has expressed when some space is provided to understand how a particular technology has been designed and its function simply described your relationship changes and trust builds to a foundation of knowing. Any foundation is the beginning of having fun and enjoying yourself so more can unfold naturally in front of you. This is how kids adapt to technology so well !
Wow Alexis, what you’ve shared here has really got me wondering now about all the smaller ways in which our spirit can achieve recognition. No matter how small it is hellbent on getting noticed.
And I loved what you shared about our relationship with anything is a reflection of our relationship with an aspect of ourselves, thank you.
Awesome honesty Alexis and I can so relate to everything you are sharing here. Much to ponder on.
“our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves”. What a very profound statement this is, Alexis. I can immediately relate this to an aspect of my life which needs looking at.Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
I agree with you, Anne. Much for me to ponder on here.
Thank you Alexis an awesome and honest sharing and one I can relate to in so many parts. At the time, a few years ago, it was becoming evident that I needed to bring technology into my life. I soon realised how my issue was not with technology but with committing to and being in life. Like you I had always dug my heels in with regards to having a mobile phone etc. However once I bought a smart phone and a laptop I couldn’t imagine life without them and felt how much they supported me and what I bring to others.
I have found learning computers to be just like learning a new language and it requires dedication and commitment to be willing and able to fully embrace what is on offer. It is great to feel how hurts get in the way of this way of learning and being in life because so many of us (including myself for a while) tend to or have tended to focus on labelling someone by their abilities to doing something instead of seeing that they are very much capable of anything, it is just bad experiences in life that have got in the way.
I have definitely observed ‘strained’ relationships with computers over the last few years, thank you for sharing your experience Alexis
It amazing to look at what lies beneath our reactions to life. Like you, I found that when I observe these things and not react, there is a wealth of learning about my conditions and my assumption, that if I had blindly followed would not have led to deeper understanding.
This is a beautiful blog and I agree that Simon Asquith has an inspiring way of passing on technical information as well as helping us to understand the blocks that get in the way. I appreciate the honest way you have shared your discovery about your spirit’s need for individual recognition – this is an insidious way of being that I recognise – seeking the smallest acknowledgement such as a raised eyebrow – it doesn’t matter if it is approval or disapproval, it is individual attention. Once we can live in true appreciation of all that we are, letting go of the need for recognition becomes possible, because we can truly feel that we are everything we need to be and no outside acknowledgement is necessary.
‘the revelation that Simon had supported me to come to was that our relationship with any-thing is merely a reflection of an aspect of our relationship with ourselves.’ I have come to realise that when I’m struggling with technology or anything that it is reflecting a disharmony within myself.
Alexis, I love this blog- your humour and honesty in writing of your aversion to technology and social media is a blessing and the perceived complication feels clearer and more simple with your sharing.
Alexis, another awesome sharing. I love your stories, your honesty and the way you are always willing to go there and expose your spirit. Reading this blog is a breath of fresh air and a beautiful reminder that everything matters, everything counts, that there are to be no stones left unturned. Any resistances we have to anything are showing us where there is evolution to be had.
The appreciation and celebration you share for Simon, Alexis, is beautiful. It’s so inspiring and healing for everyone when we express from our hearts the gorgeousness of another. This should be our normal way of relating with each other.
Life is so amazing in that when we let ourselves be really honest and transparent about a situation or a relationship and we are with it, what is then revealed to us applies to so much more – and we are then empowered to shake off behaviours that have limited our true expression until that point.
Yes, Katerina. Everything affects everything and honesty with myself has been the key to getting behind some of the artful facades that have deceived me about life.
I am deeply touched by the honesty in which you have shared your experiences Alexis. What a magnificent leap you have made, for what you share here, will evolve others.