Do you ever have awkward moments with people, situations where you just want to run or hide – or do both? Awkward moments have been a common experience for me throughout my life.
I realised through talking with an Esoteric Practitioner about not knowing how to deal with awkwardness that my awkward moments are actually not the issue, but it’s how I respond in these moments.
I was recounting to the practitioner how awkward I felt with some men, sometimes not knowing if I should say hello or not, not knowing how to be myself. Sometimes I felt the awkwardness from another person and then reacted to this and felt myself then become awkward and change how I am.
The practitioner asked me “What if you allowed the awkwardness in your interactions? What if you didn’t judge the feelings as being wrong and just nominated it and allowed the awkward feelings to be there?”
I realised I had spent my life reacting to awkward feelings, either in me, or from another, and this extended beyond just interactions with men. The reaction to awkwardness was there if I felt the slightest bit of rejection or exclusion from a group, or if I said the “wrong” thing… Or even if I was having a conversation involving money: “Remember that money you borrowed? Well you never paid me back…” or being asked to wait to continue a conversation with someone whilst they finished a phone call but not knowing when their call will end. They would say “Just wait there Annie. Don’t go – this will be quick.” And I would wait and wait some more, feeling like I was hovering, and then ask myself: should I wait or go? I would then take on the awkward feelings and not know how to handle it.
I realise that allowing the awkward feelings to be there is actually allowing me to be me, observing and letting things just be how they are, without making it wrong. If I shy away from the feeling and push it away, I end up trying to numb and distract myself with overeating and shopping. If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence, allowing my imperfections rather than try to push away my feelings or wish I could rewind life and try again.
One of my first opportunities to embrace awkwardness after this realisation was when sharing a goodbye hug with my friend’s new boyfriend. As we gave each other a parting hug, my friend hugged him from behind and sandwiched him and I both together, chest to chest; and for a little while her boyfriend and I couldn’t escape. It was probably only for five seconds, but it seemed like a long time since I had only met this person for the second time and hardly knew him.
Normally I wouldn’t say anything and would just want to escape the situation and perhaps feel a bit frustrated and embarrassed with my friend and the situation, but this time I acknowledged how I felt after I released from the hug and commented: “That was awkward…” We laughed about it and I was able to feel the lightness in the situation.
I realise now I have often reacted to awkwardness, which has meant a hardening in myself in that moment of how I feel or how another feels, making my feelings or their feelings wrong. It has felt like a rejection of me and my delicate nature and a rejection of the other person, and all in not wanting to feel any discomfort.
Often I have taken it personally when I have felt another person be awkward with me, but I realise that people have their own hurt and fears around rejection. If I can stay steady with myself, allowing openness and trust in my body, I can support others to also build trust again in people and in relationships.
I am appreciative of and inspired by Serge Benhayon and the amazing Universal Medicine community that remind me of who I am and support me to allow more of me to unfold.
By Annie, Australia
Further Reading:
Anxiety-Unfolded
What is Connection
From suffering from withdrawals – to healthy relationships and true intimacy
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Observing a situation is key… and definitely with no judgement.
Could it be when we are feeling any type of reaction, we are in some form of judge-ment or comparison, and thus not in connection with our essences, as when we are connected there would be at-least decency and respect showed towards everyone, and thus feeling the connection to our Soul?
Annie, Awkwardness and Appreciation are aptly and appropriately about polar opposites, thus when we appreciate the Love that is all of our essences we are intimate (not sexual). We cannot have Appreciate-ive-ness without being intimate, and being intimate with others is letting them in.
I agree that lightening up awkward moments and not dismissing or burying them is a fun way to deal with something we have all felt, and to bring it out in the open. Awkwardness is a good reminder too of the fragilities we all have the the care and understanding we can all bring to one another. I haven’t been too aware of awkwardness for some time so I will have a look at it within my own life – thank you Annie.
This is a great sharing Annie because we have all experienced those awkward moments and we can go into a hardness to try and protect ourselves from them. This shows me how sensitive we all are and how we deny this sensitivity because society expects everyone to be hard and tough which actually goes against our true nature.
A dishonouring of who we are in truth, we are all sensitive beings, ‘society expects everyone to be hard and tough which actually goes against our true nature.’
“….. my awkward moments are actually not the issue, but it’s how I respond in these moments.” What a powerful and revelatory insight. How often is it that we look in the inappropriate place for answers to our questions?
I was travelling with a colleague recently and there were a lot of awkward moments in the car, I could feel the awkwardness coming from my colleague who would fill the gaps of silence with conversation. I could understand how they were feeling, because there were many times in the past where I felt awkward travelling in the car with other people, so much so I just wanted the pregnant silence to swallow me up. Now I am just happy to be with myself and don’t feel the need for small talk.
I have always wanted to make the other person feel more at ease in awkward moments… it’s quite refreshing to actually allow those moments to be as they are, and not to want to rush in and fix them.
We come up against many different situations in our lives and awkward ones are those that can really challenge us, making us feel very uncomfortable and often seem like they are lasting forever. It is as if we feel we are not equipped to deal with what we are being faced with, when the truth is, we probably are, but by going into reaction we have lost the connection to ourselves and therefore to the response that is possible.
“I realise that allowing the awkward feelings to be there is actually allowing me to be me, observing and letting things just be how they are, without making it wrong.” This is exactly what I need to read today, thank you. Just allowing myself to be me in any given situation without making it wrong – particularly the anxious / awkward ones.
Like you Annie I often feel awkward but reading your blog has made me realise that by just nominating when we feel awkward it is the first step to dissolving the tension we feel and its power over us – so we can then resolve it.
There is something hilarious about awkward moments. Humor in life to see the funny thing in it.
In being honest with why we feel uncomfortable or feel tension in a situation, we then are open to understanding and exploring the truth. Bring guided by our truth is what allows us to deepen our connection to who we are, where our inner-confidence is a natural expression of who we are.
Many awkward moments come about because somebody just said something truthful or didn’t accept a lie that was uttered. It is telling that the media considers a ‘gaffe’ something they can attack and pan when a gaffe is somebody simply and unexpectedly telling the truth.
The feeling of awkwardness used to overwhelm me on many occasions and then all I wanted to do is crawl under the nearest thing and hide. If that wasn’t possible, I would try to make myself as small as possible, but I realise now that doing this only hurt me. These days I have come to realise that the greater the feeling of awkwardness the bigger lesson I am being offered and if I stop and feel what it is, there is no longer any space for the awkwardness to take root.
I agree Doug, presence plays a huge part in how we deal with life and the situations we find ourselves in.
Being the trigger for other people feeling awkward or uncomfortable can be unavoidable when we allow ourselves to be who we are in our glory and power, hence it is either holding back and adjusting to others at the price of compromising oneself, one´s health, well-being and the unique reflection and contribution we offer for everyone to also know themselves in their grandness, or not, and thereby stirring up some reactions and forces and to deal with them.
Very true. When we are in our fullness we can’t predict the response or reaction from the other – that is their free will and anything could happen, including something amazing.
Feeling awkward may not be one´s favorite feeling but at times it offers the opportunity for something new instead of following the well familiar trodden paths of habit and safety.
Very true Alexander – often the awkwardness has presented when the has been and offering to walk with greater power, saying ‘yes’ to a greater expression of love, and as you say, a new way of moving that steps away from comfort and the ‘well familiar trodden paths of habit and safety.’
Awkward moments are blessings from heaven as they help us to expose situations that are not yet fully claimed and filled with the love we are from. So it is actually very normal that these situations feel awkward as they are so (180 º) different from what we are made of.
In the past I would never have considered that “awkward moments are blessings from heaven”, but something that I would want to run away or hide from. It has been so liberating to now be able to embrace them – which can still be a little challenging – knowing that within them is always a big life message for me, one I would not get, if I ran away.
We think awkwardness is a bad thing but it isn’t, it is just an exposure to what we are not that get attended. Best thing is to have fun with it.
Embracing the fact that we are not perfect helps us to become very accepting of others
None of us are perfect, and we are not here to be perfect; we are beings behaving and moving in a variety of ways, maybe with authority and responsibility, others maybe lacking presence or purpose.
The example you gave Annie of someone on the phone is one that has been presented to me in the past and it is interesting how we can complicate a simple choice by letting doubt come in and no longer being present with ourselves.
I met a lot of people today and unexpectedly had an awkward moment with someone. I knew this person too. I very much trust this person and they have a lot of integrity. I’m not sure why there was awkwardness however, I allowed myself to be that and it felt great to honour what I was feeling which supported in my next moment and interaction.
Aah, awkwardness, the thing I’ve felt so often and wanted to fix, but as is shared here, why not accept it and be honest about it. The question I have is why something is considered awkward anyway, what’s the picture I have of how things look, and why am I holding it? If I dropped it and accepted what I see and observe would there be any awkwardness at all? So is awkwardness really a signal that we’re not accepting and that we’re locked in on a picture, and it’s a call to go deeper and let go?
When we voice “That felt really awkward!” it is no longer awkward.
Exactly, as we have brought our light in it by exposing it as pure awkwardness it then loses its hold.
Exactly Mary, it is great to express what we are feeling, even if only to self at times.
“If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence” – thank you, I really love this. I can feel how I leave myself in my reaction to a situation wanting to get out of the situation, which would never work as there is no ‘me’ that is able to respond in full.
So true if we embrace what we are feeling be it awkwardness etc then it can just be rather than trying to move on from what you are feeling.
A wise man told me it is ok to feel awkwardness. In fact its an honour to feel how much there is to feel.
If we feel awkward and then cover it up, our movements become quite harsh or defensive.
Great sharing Annie and as you say the key is to learn to observe and not react. Awkwardness is well awkward to feel, but pushing it away means we bury and do not learn to see what it is showing us.
I agree Joshua, it is key to observe, and to not react.
I have always felt awkward in my own skin but this has got less and less the more I honour how I feel in every situation that arises and do not make myself ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ but simply feel what is true and honour that. It is these small acts of self-love that build the bridge back to the stupendous love we all are and are from.
When we embrace our awkwardness we also embrace our vunerability and that is beautiful.
Beautifully said Elizabeth. So sweet and simple. Just like we are when we connect to who we are.
In the middle of a world where many children are raised to be competitive, perfect, the best in this or that…having access to an article like this is a blessing. For the freedom it brings just accepting who we are and how we feel, without make it right or wrong. And how gorgeous feels when someone express how is really going, because others surely can relate to that and feel very supported.
I love this reminder to be really accepting of everything about ourselves and not shut off or reject those aspects we are less comfortable with.
Yes, great insights can come from this approach.
Awkwardness can only be an issue for us if we imagine that we should be somehow different from who we are in any given situation. The more we accept ourselves the less we have an issue with being awkwardness.
Yeah the less we are run by pictures the less we feel we ‘should’ do anything and rather live from the love we are in full.
I’ve found it really helpful to allow myself to observe what I’m feeling and to not go into judgement about it but rather stay with the observing and be open to learning what it’s reflecting to me, to go deeper in myself to see what’s truly needed next…
The less judgemental we are of our feelings, from awkwardness to anxiety to anger, the more at ease we feel with ourselves, and the easier life feels. When we’re berating ourselves for feeling something it’s like we’re giving ourselves a double dose of poison- first the emotion or feeling and then the reaction, judgment and fight against ourselves for feeling it. Feeling is a human experience,
and how we respond affects and determines our health, wellbeing and vitality.
If we are to come to accept ourselves in full then we need to be able to accept our awkwardness because quite frankly living in a body is awkward!.
This is gold Annie, how often do we allow ourselves to go into being awkward and from that going into a trail of self-distructive thoughts just saying all the things you have done wrong. Even the really subtle ones just have the same impact. I love it, to acknowledge that those feelings are coming up, feel it and then let them be what they are with out any judgement or negative thoughts. Such a deep healing for all of those you are around and yourself.
Awkwardness feels like a holding back and not expressing how we truly feel. I find also when I am being myself, I am less likely to experience awkwardness. I am also aware of when people feel awkward, I used to join them but now, I simply observe and be myself. No need to make the other person feel better and no need to break the silence, just allow the other person to feel whatever it is they are feeling.
There is so much left unsaid when we feel something and don’t say it … obviously!!!! Yet I have been one of those, I thought what I wanted to say was awkward or would cause a scene so didn’t say anything, after which I would feel like I had not had an opportunity to feel heard. There comes a moment where you have to start practicing for it to get easier.
Serge Benhayon has always presented on how powerful it is to nominate how we are feeling, and this blog is a great example of this.
The power of you saying no to what you no longer want and actually claiming a new more loving level of love – is absolutely what we are worth.
I wonder how much awkwardness is just an awareness of what does not feel harmonious between people and not knowing how to be with this. So it is not ever a case of being less because you are awkward, but rather appreciating how sensitive and lovely you naturally are.
What is actually awkwardness other than we have a picture of how things in life should be or ought to be?
Naming an awkward moment brings it out into the open so it cannot grow unseen anymore and we can realise its source and understand how it came to be.
Just accepting what we feel and nominating it without judging ourselves for it makes everything feel so much lighter and more manageable. When we judge ourselves for what we feel and make ourselves wrong or less, we harden and cut ourselves off from everyone and everything- and we justify that by thinking we’re so ‘wrong’ that we’re not worth engaging with!
Thanks for busting through some of those ideas Annie and for embracing awkwardness and all those other uncomfortable feelings that when embraced, lose their issue, and offer a deeper connection to ourselves and others.