Embracing Awkwardness

Do you ever have awkward moments with people, situations where you just want to run or hide – or do both? Awkward moments have been a common experience for me throughout my life.

I realised through talking with an Esoteric Practitioner about not knowing how to deal with awkwardness that my awkward moments are actually not the issue, but it’s how I respond in these moments.

I was recounting to the practitioner how awkward I felt with some men, sometimes not knowing if I should say hello or not, not knowing how to be myself. Sometimes I felt the awkwardness from another person and then reacted to this and felt myself then become awkward and change how I am.

The practitioner asked me “What if you allowed the awkwardness in your interactions? What if you didn’t judge the feelings as being wrong and just nominated it and allowed the awkward feelings to be there?”

I realised I had spent my life reacting to awkward feelings, either in me, or from another, and this extended beyond just interactions with men. The reaction to awkwardness was there if I felt the slightest bit of rejection or exclusion from a group, or if I said the “wrong” thing… Or even if I was having a conversation involving money: “Remember that money you borrowed? Well you never paid me back…” or being asked to wait to continue a conversation with someone whilst they finished a phone call but not knowing when their call will end. They would say “Just wait there Annie. Don’t go ­– this will be quick.” And I would wait and wait some more, feeling like I was hovering, and then ask myself: should I wait or go? I would then take on the awkward feelings and not know how to handle it.

I realise that allowing the awkward feelings to be there is actually allowing me to be me, observing and letting things just be how they are, without making it wrong. If I shy away from the feeling and push it away, I end up trying to numb and distract myself with overeating and shopping. If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence, allowing my imperfections rather than try to push away my feelings or wish I could rewind life and try again.

One of my first opportunities to embrace awkwardness after this realisation was when sharing a goodbye hug with my friend’s new boyfriend. As we gave each other a parting hug, my friend hugged him from behind and sandwiched him and I both together, chest to chest; and for a little while her boyfriend and I couldn’t escape. It was probably only for five seconds, but it seemed like a long time since I had only met this person for the second time and hardly knew him.

Normally I wouldn’t say anything and would just want to escape the situation and perhaps feel a bit frustrated and embarrassed with my friend and the situation, but this time I acknowledged how I felt after I released from the hug and commented: “That was awkward…” We laughed about it and I was able to feel the lightness in the situation.

I realise now  I have often reacted to awkwardness, which has meant a hardening in myself in that moment of how I feel or how another feels, making my feelings or their feelings wrong. It has felt  like a rejection of me and my delicate nature and a rejection of the other person, and all in not wanting to feel any discomfort.

Often I have taken it personally when I have felt another person be awkward with me, but I realise that people have their own hurt and fears around rejection. If I can stay steady with myself, allowing openness and trust in my body, I can support others to also build trust again in people and in relationships.

I am appreciative of and inspired by Serge Benhayon and the amazing Universal Medicine community that remind me of who I am and support me to allow more of me to unfold.

By Annie, Australia

Further Reading:
Anxiety-Unfolded
What is Connection
From suffering from withdrawals – to healthy relationships and true intimacy

 

802 thoughts on “Embracing Awkwardness

  1. Aah, awkwardness, the thing I’ve felt so often and wanted to fix, but as is shared here, why not accept it and be honest about it. The question I have is why something is considered awkward anyway, what’s the picture I have of how things look, and why am I holding it? If I dropped it and accepted what I see and observe would there be any awkwardness at all? So is awkwardness really a signal that we’re not accepting and that we’re locked in on a picture, and it’s a call to go deeper and let go?

  2. “If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence” – thank you, I really love this. I can feel how I leave myself in my reaction to a situation wanting to get out of the situation, which would never work as there is no ‘me’ that is able to respond in full.

  3. So true if we embrace what we are feeling be it awkwardness etc then it can just be rather than trying to move on from what you are feeling.

  4. Great sharing Annie and as you say the key is to learn to observe and not react. Awkwardness is well awkward to feel, but pushing it away means we bury and do not learn to see what it is showing us.

  5. I have always felt awkward in my own skin but this has got less and less the more I honour how I feel in every situation that arises and do not make myself ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ but simply feel what is true and honour that. It is these small acts of self-love that build the bridge back to the stupendous love we all are and are from.

  6. The more we allow the space to simply feel our body rather than distracting ourselves, or worse going into negative thoughts when we feel awkwardness arise, the more free, lighter and accepting we feel about ourselves.

  7. In the middle of a world where many children are raised to be competitive, perfect, the best in this or that…having access to an article like this is a blessing. For the freedom it brings just accepting who we are and how we feel, without make it right or wrong. And how gorgeous feels when someone express how is really going, because others surely can relate to that and feel very supported.

  8. I love this reminder to be really accepting of everything about ourselves and not shut off or reject those aspects we are less comfortable with.

  9. Awkwardness can only be an issue for us if we imagine that we should be somehow different from who we are in any given situation. The more we accept ourselves the less we have an issue with being awkwardness.

    1. Yeah the less we are run by pictures the less we feel we ‘should’ do anything and rather live from the love we are in full.

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