Embracing Awkwardness

Do you ever have awkward moments with people, situations where you just want to run or hide – or do both? Awkward moments have been a common experience for me throughout my life.

I realised through talking with an Esoteric Practitioner about not knowing how to deal with awkwardness that my awkward moments are actually not the issue, but it’s how I respond in these moments.

I was recounting to the practitioner how awkward I felt with some men, sometimes not knowing if I should say hello or not, not knowing how to be myself. Sometimes I felt the awkwardness from another person and then reacted to this and felt myself then become awkward and change how I am.

The practitioner asked me “What if you allowed the awkwardness in your interactions? What if you didn’t judge the feelings as being wrong and just nominated it and allowed the awkward feelings to be there?”

I realised I had spent my life reacting to awkward feelings, either in me, or from another, and this extended beyond just interactions with men. The reaction to awkwardness was there if I felt the slightest bit of rejection or exclusion from a group, or if I said the “wrong” thing… Or even if I was having a conversation involving money: “Remember that money you borrowed? Well you never paid me back…” or being asked to wait to continue a conversation with someone whilst they finished a phone call but not knowing when their call will end. They would say “Just wait there Annie. Don’t go ­– this will be quick.” And I would wait and wait some more, feeling like I was hovering, and then ask myself: should I wait or go? I would then take on the awkward feelings and not know how to handle it.

I realise that allowing the awkward feelings to be there is actually allowing me to be me, observing and letting things just be how they are, without making it wrong. If I shy away from the feeling and push it away, I end up trying to numb and distract myself with overeating and shopping. If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence, allowing my imperfections rather than try to push away my feelings or wish I could rewind life and try again.

One of my first opportunities to embrace awkwardness after this realisation was when sharing a goodbye hug with my friend’s new boyfriend. As we gave each other a parting hug, my friend hugged him from behind and sandwiched him and I both together, chest to chest; and for a little while her boyfriend and I couldn’t escape. It was probably only for five seconds, but it seemed like a long time since I had only met this person for the second time and hardly knew him.

Normally I wouldn’t say anything and would just want to escape the situation and perhaps feel a bit frustrated and embarrassed with my friend and the situation, but this time I acknowledged how I felt after I released from the hug and commented: “That was awkward…” We laughed about it and I was able to feel the lightness in the situation.

I realise now  I have often reacted to awkwardness, which has meant a hardening in myself in that moment of how I feel or how another feels, making my feelings or their feelings wrong. It has felt  like a rejection of me and my delicate nature and a rejection of the other person, and all in not wanting to feel any discomfort.

Often I have taken it personally when I have felt another person be awkward with me, but I realise that people have their own hurt and fears around rejection. If I can stay steady with myself, allowing openness and trust in my body, I can support others to also build trust again in people and in relationships.

I am appreciative of and inspired by Serge Benhayon and the amazing Universal Medicine community that remind me of who I am and support me to allow more of me to unfold.

By Annie, Australia

Further Reading:
Anxiety-Unfolded
What is Connection
From suffering from withdrawals – to healthy relationships and true intimacy

 

826 thoughts on “Embracing Awkwardness

  1. Could it be when we are feeling any type of reaction, we are in some form of judge-ment or comparison, and thus not in connection with our essences, as when we are connected there would be at-least decency and respect showed towards everyone, and thus feeling the connection to our Soul?

  2. Annie, Awkwardness and Appreciation are aptly and appropriately about polar opposites, thus when we appreciate the Love that is all of our essences we are intimate (not sexual). We cannot have Appreciate-ive-ness without being intimate, and being intimate with others is letting them in.

  3. I agree that lightening up awkward moments and not dismissing or burying them is a fun way to deal with something we have all felt, and to bring it out in the open. Awkwardness is a good reminder too of the fragilities we all have the the care and understanding we can all bring to one another. I haven’t been too aware of awkwardness for some time so I will have a look at it within my own life – thank you Annie.

  4. This is a great sharing Annie because we have all experienced those awkward moments and we can go into a hardness to try and protect ourselves from them. This shows me how sensitive we all are and how we deny this sensitivity because society expects everyone to be hard and tough which actually goes against our true nature.

  5. “….. my awkward moments are actually not the issue, but it’s how I respond in these moments.” What a powerful and revelatory insight. How often is it that we look in the inappropriate place for answers to our questions?

  6. I was travelling with a colleague recently and there were a lot of awkward moments in the car, I could feel the awkwardness coming from my colleague who would fill the gaps of silence with conversation. I could understand how they were feeling, because there were many times in the past where I felt awkward travelling in the car with other people, so much so I just wanted the pregnant silence to swallow me up. Now I am just happy to be with myself and don’t feel the need for small talk.

  7. I have always wanted to make the other person feel more at ease in awkward moments… it’s quite refreshing to actually allow those moments to be as they are, and not to want to rush in and fix them.

  8. We come up against many different situations in our lives and awkward ones are those that can really challenge us, making us feel very uncomfortable and often seem like they are lasting forever. It is as if we feel we are not equipped to deal with what we are being faced with, when the truth is, we probably are, but by going into reaction we have lost the connection to ourselves and therefore to the response that is possible.

  9. Awkwardness used to just simply be a part of every experience, a daily thing but reading this made me realise how for the most part it is no longer a part of my make up. How awesome is that!

  10. “I realise that allowing the awkward feelings to be there is actually allowing me to be me, observing and letting things just be how they are, without making it wrong.” This is exactly what I need to read today, thank you. Just allowing myself to be me in any given situation without making it wrong – particularly the anxious / awkward ones.

  11. Like you Annie I often feel awkward but reading your blog has made me realise that by just nominating when we feel awkward it is the first step to dissolving the tension we feel and its power over us – so we can then resolve it.

  12. In being honest with why we feel uncomfortable or feel tension in a situation, we then are open to understanding and exploring the truth. Bring guided by our truth is what allows us to deepen our connection to who we are, where our inner-confidence is a natural expression of who we are.

  13. Many awkward moments come about because somebody just said something truthful or didn’t accept a lie that was uttered. It is telling that the media considers a ‘gaffe’ something they can attack and pan when a gaffe is somebody simply and unexpectedly telling the truth.

  14. The feeling of awkwardness used to overwhelm me on many occasions and then all I wanted to do is crawl under the nearest thing and hide. If that wasn’t possible, I would try to make myself as small as possible, but I realise now that doing this only hurt me. These days I have come to realise that the greater the feeling of awkwardness the bigger lesson I am being offered and if I stop and feel what it is, there is no longer any space for the awkwardness to take root.

  15. Being the trigger for other people feeling awkward or uncomfortable can be unavoidable when we allow ourselves to be who we are in our glory and power, hence it is either holding back and adjusting to others at the price of compromising oneself, one´s health, well-being and the unique reflection and contribution we offer for everyone to also know themselves in their grandness, or not, and thereby stirring up some reactions and forces and to deal with them.

    1. Very true. When we are in our fullness we can’t predict the response or reaction from the other – that is their free will and anything could happen, including something amazing.

  16. Feeling awkward may not be one´s favorite feeling but at times it offers the opportunity for something new instead of following the well familiar trodden paths of habit and safety.

    1. Very true Alexander – often the awkwardness has presented when the has been and offering to walk with greater power, saying ‘yes’ to a greater expression of love, and as you say, a new way of moving that steps away from comfort and the ‘well familiar trodden paths of habit and safety.’

  17. Awkward moments are blessings from heaven as they help us to expose situations that are not yet fully claimed and filled with the love we are from. So it is actually very normal that these situations feel awkward as they are so (180 º) different from what we are made of.

    1. In the past I would never have considered that “awkward moments are blessings from heaven”, but something that I would want to run away or hide from. It has been so liberating to now be able to embrace them – which can still be a little challenging – knowing that within them is always a big life message for me, one I would not get, if I ran away.

  18. We think awkwardness is a bad thing but it isn’t, it is just an exposure to what we are not that get attended. Best thing is to have fun with it.

  19. The example you gave Annie of someone on the phone is one that has been presented to me in the past and it is interesting how we can complicate a simple choice by letting doubt come in and no longer being present with ourselves.

  20. I met a lot of people today and unexpectedly had an awkward moment with someone. I knew this person too. I very much trust this person and they have a lot of integrity. I’m not sure why there was awkwardness however, I allowed myself to be that and it felt great to honour what I was feeling which supported in my next moment and interaction.

  21. Aah, awkwardness, the thing I’ve felt so often and wanted to fix, but as is shared here, why not accept it and be honest about it. The question I have is why something is considered awkward anyway, what’s the picture I have of how things look, and why am I holding it? If I dropped it and accepted what I see and observe would there be any awkwardness at all? So is awkwardness really a signal that we’re not accepting and that we’re locked in on a picture, and it’s a call to go deeper and let go?

  22. “If I acknowledge the awkwardness and just say to myself “That felt really awkward!,” I can stay with myself, in full presence” – thank you, I really love this. I can feel how I leave myself in my reaction to a situation wanting to get out of the situation, which would never work as there is no ‘me’ that is able to respond in full.

  23. So true if we embrace what we are feeling be it awkwardness etc then it can just be rather than trying to move on from what you are feeling.

  24. Great sharing Annie and as you say the key is to learn to observe and not react. Awkwardness is well awkward to feel, but pushing it away means we bury and do not learn to see what it is showing us.

  25. I have always felt awkward in my own skin but this has got less and less the more I honour how I feel in every situation that arises and do not make myself ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ but simply feel what is true and honour that. It is these small acts of self-love that build the bridge back to the stupendous love we all are and are from.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s