Recently I was in the midst of a big project and I had shared with some friends that I was really tired. Someone suggested that I take the morning easy and rest in preparation for the big meeting I had around lunchtime.
I am pretty sure that I scoffed at the idea – “Are you for real? I have too much to do! Have you not seen my to-do list?” But something inside of me was asking me to go deeper with this and neither gloss over what I was feeling, nor what was being suggested to me, as I had done in the past. So in that moment I expressed that I didn’t know how to – I didn’t know how to stop.
Some suggestions then came forth about how to stop and I realised that I actually do know how to stop, but I don’t put it into practice often enough.
I just kept going.
- Just get this job done.
- Just tidy up the kitchen.
- Just send that email.
- Just put that load of washing on… and then I will stop.
Even then, when I did stop, I never really stopped to truly rest or nourish my body. When I ‘downed tools’ I stopped for a cuppa and a biscuit, just as I used to stop with a glass of wine and a cigarette: or when I ignored nearly all of the messages to stop from my body, it increased the intensity of the messages and said very loudly, ‘STOP!’ and I got sick and was forced to stop and rest – often feeling like my body had betrayed me.
But through Universal Medicine’s presentations, I am learning how to be with my body and listen to the wisdom it shares quietly, taking the moments to stop and be with my body and to nourish it.
I have also learnt the importance of taking care of myself, and through the healing modalities of Universal Medicine I am learning to bring to a halt the relentless momentum that I have been living with that makes it difficult for me to stop.
So I stopped in the name of love (for me), lovingly put on some moisturiser and covered my body in eye pillows (small heat packs). Then I lay down for a couple of hours and rested. I even fell asleep.
The world did not fall apart. It did not end because I took two hours off. I simply rested because that was what my body was sharing with me it needed to do. I awoke with a renewed sense of care and love for myself and with a deep appreciation of taking the time to stop. I then went about my day much more openly, rather than in the tension of having to push through to get my ‘stuff done’. And P.S. – the stuff got done!
Nowadays I am looking to bring in more stop moments – a loving work in progress because some days I still override the need to stop. I am, however, choosing more and more to be present with my body, listening to what it is saying and stopping when it is needed.
I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.
In loving appreciation of Serge Benhayon and his family; and of my friends, who asked me to reconnect to something that I knew, as well as a deep appreciation of me, for taking the time to stop.
By Sarah Flenley, Cairns, Far North Queensland, Australia
The ‘Self-Care ABC’
Stopping Within Sight of the Finish Line
Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes you Healthy, Wealthy and Wise
885 thoughts on “STOP in the Name of Love!”
A stop moment that I have started to bring in at work is actually a moment of movement. It’s when I walk from my office to the kitchen and see whether I can walk with connection and purpose rather than scurrying from place to place. The other stop moment that I am currently exploring is if I can be connected to my body when I am talking to tradespeople. I have in the past had a tendency to rush my communication when I’m dealing with tradespeople, I suppose judgement is there too, as in I haven’t seen them as being as important as whatever it is that I’m doing ‘work-wise’. But now I practice being in my body as fully as I can and stopping what I’m doing on my computer and being as present and as chilled as I can with everybody regardless of whether they’re directly involved with my work or not.
I like your example of some stop moments Alexis, ‘It’s when I walk from my office to the kitchen and see whether I can walk with connection and purpose rather than scurrying from place to place.’
We see being up and doing things as activity, but we don’t see rest as activity – yet it is, there is lots of activity taking place in rest, we can be more reflective and contemplative, receive insights, come out of feeling rushed or stressed and into a sense of settlement, the body is active in rest in a different way, busy taking care of itself and we are giving each cell space to more harmoniously work without the pressures we place on the body. I find rest is a more inward activity.
That is a great point, and a great sharing Melinda, ‘we don’t see rest as activity – yet it is, there is lots of activity taking place in rest, we can be more reflective and contemplative, receive insights, come out of feeling rushed or stressed and into a sense of settlement’.
Appreciation of who we are and that we can also feel that same divine essence in another is part of us connecting to our inner temple and thus deepening our ability to rest deeply.
That is amazing that you stopped for a rest, fell asleep, woke up and still managed to complete your tasks. In a world that seems to want far more hours in the day to get everything done this is unheard of, however you have shown it can be achieved.
I found that when I don’t take stop moments I get more and more racy which ends up with me bumping myself so that I have to listen.
Choosing quality in what we do lays foundations that are reaped throughout the day, not just for ourselves but for anyone we come into contact with.
Thank you Sarah, stop moments can have a profound effect on our health and wellbeing as they can support us to be more aware of where we are at and how we truly feel in our day, which can lead us to making healthier choices for ourselves by understanding what is needed. The stopping part is so essential because we often have patterns of being on the go and focusing on making sure the outer things get done, and not taking care of ourselves.
My body now speaks so loudly that I literally cannot override it, I have to stop, rest and sleep as it recharges itself. My body certainly lets me know what is essential to take care of itself.
Like you Sarah I know that force that keeps you going from one tick box to the next – it’s like an out of control train. But I love your suggestion to say ‘stop, in the name of love’ for when bring the integrity of love to any situation quality, harmony and grace can follow.
Learning the value of quality over quantity by honouring the wisdom of our bodies, not only supports our well-being but also provides far more presence in our living day. With this, the quality and authenticity is then naturally felt in what we do, with no push, drive or exhaustion.
‘I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.’ Yes we all know that quality not quantity is the way to go but we can easily get caught up in the business of life. When we do our body suffers and we end up pretty ragged or numbed by a substance so we don’t have to feel this raggedness…we can push it aside but it does not go away it just goes deeper into the body and we wonder, later on, why we have an illness or disease.
Elainearthey this is a great sharing as we can over ride and get on with things when our bodies are asking us to take more care of ourselves and may be stop and rest. If we don’t listen it makes sense that the unrest would go deeper into our bodies and then manifest as an illness or disease sometime later. It’s our bodies only way of saying stop.
Quality is key in all we do, ‘we all know that quality not quantity is the way to go’.
Love it Sarah … the world did not end because your took a couple of hours to rest, because your body needed it. What a consciousness that we have to keep going no matter what, and that if we don’t everything will fall apart. Just goes to show what the foundations are and what we have been living that we don’t feel steady and stable.
So true Natalie – that world received instead a truer reflection of what is means to live in honor of who we are, and it is this quality of reflection that is far more needed today.
It may also be that the world IS falling apart because we aren’t stopping – we aren’t giving the body it’s true and very needed rhythm of action and then rest, which places a great pressure on our health. And, we aren’t allowing the space to contemplate and reflect on life, to sense and honour what we feel, and then go out back to the world and take action on that by making changes for ourselves, or by calling for change in the world. We simply don’t have as much ability to connect to our soul and God in that non-step doing, it’s in the quietness that we can reconnect and feel what’s true, and restore ourselves with our own love.
Another beautiful sharing Melinda, I love this reminder, ‘We simply don’t have as much ability to connect to our soul and God in that non-stop doing, it’s in the quietness that we can reconnect and feel what’s true, and restore ourselves with our own love.’
Stop moments for me are life-saving moments when I give myself the space to take an honest look at how I am feeling instead of pretending that I am fine, when I’m not. They are the biggest gift of love from me to my body, with the outcome a deepening of the respect for, and the honouring of, my body, and from there for the whole of my life.
It’s so nurturing to stop and just ask myself “How do I really feel?”, especially if I’m thinking a lot or feeling unsettled. There is also the ‘stop moment’ that invites us to enjoy how amazing we feel, and even take some time out to do this and go deeper with it.
Melinda, great sharing ‘that there are also ‘stop moments’ that invite us to enjoy how amazing we feel, and even take some time out to do this and go deeper with it,’ how often do we stop and give ourselves permission to deeply appreciate just how amazing we are and feel. To allow ourselves to access more of the joy that is always there waiting to be reconnected to.
I love that idea, the biggest gift of love from me to my body. I know that when I do not offer myself those stop moments I get quite racy and within a short time my body is speaking very loudly to me.
My body also wisely brings me to a stop to nurture and cherish myself, whilst equally re-charging my batteries, ‘ I am learning how to be with my body and listen to the wisdom it shares quietly, taking the moments to stop and be with my body and to nourish it.’
“I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.” – this is GOLD, for when we feel joyful within, no matter what we do, even if it is taking the rubbish out, becomes fun rather than a chore. And in this too we do not tire out as much – compared to when we are feeling like we have to do things and do them fast and efficiently and it is a burden (this is super tiring no matter what we are doing).
The idea of stopping for a moment when we are super busy and feeling how much there is to be done, feels like the craziest idea EXCEPT if and when the body is saying it is time to stop. And amazing when we actually listen – often we worry and think we will be behind schedule or that the job will not be completed, but usually when I have listened to my body then it is amazing to feel how everything falls into place and how fast my body can recover from a small break and then how much more focused I am with getting the job completed.
“The world did not fall apart. It did not end because I took two hours off. I simply rested because that was what my body was sharing with me it needed to do” – this just reminded me that I am the only person who can take care of my body and without doing this bit, how can I ever really do anything for anyone? And that taking care of my body is actually the first step for taking care of others and the world.
Well said Fumiyo – for when we take better care of ourselves it enables us to also take better care of others and the world around us.
When we drive our vehicle as hard and fast as it will go we have to stop to refuel but when we drive gently in consideration of ourselves and all others on the road then we don’t have to stop so often and are able to enjoy who we are and all that is around us as we move.
To ‘STOP in the Name of Love!’ not just now and then but on a regular base to check in with our quality, focus and intention would serve all of us equally a great deal. Basically it is a forever unfolding increase in living lovingly.
Evolution in any other name is abuse-olution, as we all need to ‘Stop in the name of Love!’
I soooo know this one ‘Even then, when I did stop, I never really stopped to truly rest or nourish my body.’ Stopping but not really truly stopping! And I have really been aware more recently how we are masters at doing this .. predominately our stopping, or taking a moment out includes looking at a mobile phone, aka not stopping at all just checking out and not wanting to feel what is going on. This was evident to me while travelling on the train in London the other day. However, amazingly I have noticed how things have started to change. For instance last night before going to bed, my body was very loud in saying ‘just be with me’ to the point I could not ignore this, so before going to bed I lay down and did a few gentle stretches .. it felt really lovely.
I like what you say about the fact that we do know, but that we do not practice enough, actually doing what we know (what our bodies have told us) would support most. This is an area for investigation.
Yes, we do know how to stop, but it is also about saying No to all our endless doing when our body is communicating it is enough.
When I am in drive it is much harder to stop, I focus on what needs to be done at the expense of my body and find myself exhausted at the end of the day.
Stop moments are so important to bring into our day, for when we keep living in drive and push, the body can only handle so much and can eventually bring its own stop in the form of illness and disease.
I am glad you noticed that the world did not fall apart or end when you took two hours off. It is such a trick of our mind to let us think we cannot be missed and then override our body (which is aligned to the stars when we choose so) and lose our joy of being by this over-doing.
So we are saying quality first and that the belief that we have to output a certain amount, in whatever way, to consider ourselves okay is one of many false beliefs that need to find the rubbish bin.
Absolutely Matilda, quality first, not quantity, ‘I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.’
I was recently unwell and didn’t realise til the enforced stop how much I had been pushing myself. So many great reminders here Sarah, thank you.
Stop moments are essential and there are many every day if we but chose to be aware of them. They can be seconds, a minute or two hours long and they are delicious.
Yes Sarah, for we are lost in the overwelm of lovelessness. It is a wise thing to stop — and choose love. Love to be our focus in life. And make sure that in whatever way or level you are in your life, be open to love and the fact that we are universally all love.
One can only appreciate the power of stopping only if one stops and sees what happens. That registry never leaves us and we can return to it any time we wish.
It is important to remember to appreciate ourselves for these stop moments, ‘ a deep appreciation of me, for taking the time to stop.’
Feeling my body while reading your blog I felt it is very clearly communicating that it is time to stop. I had a day with a lot of unexpected situations and did not allow myself to have a moment to let my body rest and that is what I will ‘do’ as in choose, next.
It is true that we do know how to stop, do know and deeply feel the benefits of switching projects or activities, feeling when one thing is complete for now, and when to move on to the next thing.. what gets in the way of following what we can feel is needed next is often attachment: a stubbornness to hold on to what we want to do and how we think it should be done. Letting go of those pictures and just allowing ourselves to be and feel what is needed from moment to moment frees us up and sustains that feeling of being connected to everything and everyone else. When we work according to pictures, because we’re seeking the high of reward or recognition, we actually make life feel like more hard work than it is or needs to be.
Thank you Sarah, this is so true for most people, it is like we are spinning out of control in constant doing and not resting. I’m sure there are natural cycles within each day that ask us to be active and then to rest, some smaller, and some larger and more noticeable. It’s like the outbreath (our output) and inbreath (our rest and rejuvenation inwards).
This blog makes me appreciate that everything can be said and delivered in love, in this way the person is reflected what love truly represents – what a beautiful reflection….
I loved this gem of a blog, it describes everything about every human being existing in this plane of life. I can recall the countless times I have over ridden the clues of my body and paid for it later, whether exhausted, tired still after a quantity amount of sleep, or indulging on stimulations to keep me going.
Sarah you are absolutely correct, that time out to just be with yourself or not pushing past the signals is the most loving thing we could do for ourselves and it doesn’t cost anything, in other words taking your body for a holiday, its right there in front of us.
Recognize this very much Sarah, almost feeling guilty that I stop. It also shows how much identification there is with how much and what I do. Fortunately, that is dropping away more and more, because I feel that my worth, my beauty is not in what I do, but who I am – and who I am is beautiful. I knew that for a long time to be true, but now, lately I am starting to feel that on a consistent basis in my body as well, which is also radiating out to the world.
Sometimes a stop moment calls for a rest, but most times a stop moment calls us to stop the energy that is running us and realign to the Divine.
Yes Kathleenbaldwin, I agree. When I stop I check my breath and how connected I am to my body first off and feel my heart and realign…such a vital step.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder that being in connection to the quality of who we are supersedes the quality of doing any day and in fact brings greater enjoyment to all that we do regardless of what it is.
More and more these days I am correcting myself when I say “I don’t know” when it comes to my feelings or choices being or needing to be made. It might not come straight away but if I open up with “ I don’t know YET” soon the answers become apparent.
Love it…that little word YET gives us so much space for the truth to show itself.