STOP in the Name of Love!

Recently I was in the midst of a big project and I had shared with some friends that I was really tired. Someone suggested that I take the morning easy and rest in preparation for the big meeting I had around lunchtime.

I am pretty sure that I scoffed at the idea – “Are you for real? I have too much to do! Have you not seen my to-do list?” But something inside of me was asking me to go deeper with this and neither gloss over what I was feeling, nor what was being suggested to me, as I had done in the past. So in that moment I expressed that I didn’t know how to – I didn’t know how to stop.

Some suggestions then came forth about how to stop and I realised that I actually do know how to stop, but I don’t put it into practice often enough.

I just kept going.

  • Just get this job done.
  • Just tidy up the kitchen.
  • Just send that email.
  • Just put that load of washing on… and then I will stop.

Even then, when I did stop, I never really stopped to truly rest or nourish my body. When I ‘downed tools’ I stopped for a cuppa and a biscuit, just as I used to stop with a glass of wine and a cigarette: or when I ignored nearly all of the messages to stop from my body, it increased the intensity of the messages and said very loudly, ‘STOP!’ and I got sick and was forced to stop and rest – often feeling like my body had betrayed me.

But through Universal Medicine’s presentations, I am learning how to be with my body and listen to the wisdom it shares quietly, taking the moments to stop and be with my body and to nourish it.

I have also learnt the importance of taking care of myself, and through the healing modalities of Universal Medicine I am learning to bring to a halt the relentless momentum that I have been living with that makes it difficult for me to stop.

So I stopped in the name of love (for me), lovingly put on some moisturiser and covered my body in eye pillows (small heat packs). Then I lay down for a couple of hours and rested. I even fell asleep.

The world did not fall apart. It did not end because I took two hours off. I simply rested because that was what my body was sharing with me it needed to do. I awoke with a renewed sense of care and love for myself and with a deep appreciation of taking the time to stop. I then went about my day much more openly, rather than in the tension of having to push through to get my ‘stuff done’. And P.S. – the stuff got done!

Nowadays I am looking to bring in more stop moments – a loving work in progress because some days I still override the need to stop. I am, however, choosing more and more to be present with my body, listening to what it is saying and stopping when it is needed.

I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.

In loving appreciation of Serge Benhayon and his family; and of my friends, who asked me to reconnect to something that I knew, as well as a deep appreciation of me, for taking the time to stop.

By Sarah Flenley, Cairns, Far North Queensland, Australia

Further Reading:
The ‘Self-Care ABC’
Stopping Within Sight of the Finish Line
Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes you Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

815 thoughts on “STOP in the Name of Love!

  1. We need to appreciate the huge store of wisdom that is waiting to be accessed if we but stop and allow that moment in connection. In the holding of the all we will understand and know what is needed for all.

  2. Lovely reminder Sarah, when we make life about all the things we need to do it is like we are running around on a hamster wheel, totally going about our business mentally ticking off jobs to be done, yet there is no true quality as it is purely a per functionary act. When we stop and connect to our heart, we get to feel what we need to do next, and the more connected we become the greater the quality we take to everything we do.

  3. We can be very good at having moments of relief, relaxation, escape or time out when things get stressful, but are not so great at choosing to actually stop and surrender, truly rejuvenate and come back to the quality that will support us moving forward.

  4. In my work place, most, if not all, staff are totally exhausted because of the volume of work and the long hours and it’s crazy they seem to believe they are not entitled to stop and they have to keep going until they break down or get seriously ill. Stop in the name of love, and not by doctor’s order, is so much needed.

  5. Beautiful to appreciate that when we do stop and truly rest, the world doesn’t fall down but our relationship with it deepens.

    1. Ah, Brendan – what a gorgeous quote – one I need to pin up on my fridge as a gentle reminder of what can be when I let go of the drive and truly stop and rest.

      1. Couldn’t agree more Henrietta. This quote from Brendon should be repeated: ‘Beautiful to appreciate that when we do stop and truly rest, the world doesn’t fall down but our relationship with it deepens.’ This is a fridge magnet with magnetic pull!!

  6. I love this blog Sarah – it is so good in exposing for us all how we just keep going and we don’t actually bring ourselves to a stop. This can be very hard to do in our current world, where we have this incessant drive to tick a box and just keep doing things, never once stopping to ask ourselves if the quality in which we do things has been maintained or if it has dropped. I can so relate to this. And when we are so in the drive, to stop is one of the last things we want to do. And yet it is one of the most valuable tools we can use to bring awareness to how we are feeling and how we are doing things. Such an great reminder to have at all times.

  7. So often when we get stressed out or feel overwhelmed we can think to ourselves: “I need a break, I need to have a holiday, I need to get away…”….yet none of these things are actually effective if we don’t address the energy of the stress or overwhelm itself. This is really revealing, as it says that if I address the energy, then there actually is no ‘need’ for a break or holiday but I can choose to have one or not. Then we actually are not controlled by the stress, and we can allow ourselves to be more natural in what we do and how we are, and also schedule those breaks in as needed so it does not get to a point of overwhelm.

  8. I used to struggle with taking time to stop for myself but now find these simple moments a real joy. I really love taking the time to remove my makeup at night and apply a nice moisturiser to my face like a beautiful ceremony and part of my wind down time for bed. These stop moments are opportunities to appreciate our bodies and the connection we have to them, because without them where would we be?

  9. How lovely that you actually allowed yourself to do this. So many people would scoff at the idea and keep going and keep scoffing! It makes perfect sense to give our bodies the rest that they need in order to function well and feel vital. If we don’t so this we are asking for a life of exhaustion.

  10. Developing our relationship with our quality within, allows us to create a new marker from which we can express from in our bodies and the more we deeply appreciate this – the easier it becomes to make more loving choices in our daily life- it never ends!

  11. Interesting coming back to my blog today and appreciating that these stop moments can be in lots of different shapes and sizes. In this one I stopped for a couple of hours and rested, but more and more I am realising it can be as simple as taking a ‘stop in the name of the love’ moment at your desk, breathing your own breath (http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/gentle-breath-meditation/the-gentle-breath-meditation-in-5-simple-steps.html) and connecting to your body. There are so many ways we can stop and connect and check in with ourselves to see what is going on in our bodies. How do you stop for you?

    1. I started to take little stop moments to check how I am sitting at my computer, how I walk down the stairs, open the door etc. The more I practice this the more I will be able to connect to my body and feel the ease to really stop when my body needs it. I am also inspired to practice The Gentle Breath Meditation. I am appreciating how these stop moments come in many forms and sizes; thanks Sarah for this awesome reminder.

  12. After reading your blog many times Sarah I have been inspired to take more stop moments. Some of them have been great, supporting my connection with my body and allowing myself a rest to feel what is going on. Then there was a few times where it felt difficult to stop and I just continued on doing what I was doing. These were the moments where I probably needed to stop the most. I will take a look at this more closely and learn to accept regular stop moments as my body feel to instead of fighting it with my thoughts.

  13. Reading this blog today, I can feel that these stops are not actually a choice, they are as vital to us as our blood moving round our body, without them things will start to go wrong. A day of new priorities and love is front and centre.

  14. But love does not mind if we be it or not, it does not mind where we start, whether it is true, love simply shows us how patient it is, and allow ourselves to get what it is by feeling our own devastation not being it. There is no rush in love, love cannot be rushed as it is an unfolding process whether a destination, and certainly without the possibility of recognition–either way.

  15. We avoid the stop least it reveal the giddy momentum we are so caught up moving in. Hence the pseudo ‘stop’ by way of uppers and downers (coffee, smoke, donut, passing out on the couch etc.) that will not let us feel the truth of what we are choosing.

    1. Yes the ‘stop’ just becomes about changing flavours rather than arresting the momentum we have got ourselves in…

  16. Sarah, this is very supportive to read, when I do stop because my body needs to rest it feels very nurturing and honouring of me, even if its for 5 minutes. Reading this I feel inspired to take more of these stop moments as I can feel how powerful they are how they can stop me from rushing and being in drive and allow me to come back to my natural stillness and then move from here.

  17. Sarah, this is something I have to remind myself of every day especially when absolutely pressed. I can usually summon up the presence to stop and sit, or stop and walk around the house, or stop and breathe gently. Yesterday when trying to order some pants online I ended up speaking to the retail person on the phone to see if my size was available. She was in overwhelm from hard work etc. I also needed to be getting on with finishing some writing but I could feel that I needed to stop and be with her and listen and talk. I received a beautiful email from her when I got home from work yesterday thanking me for chatting to her.

  18. The never ending it will just do’s in the tick box of life… I too know this list of ‘just’ifications that you speak of Sarah, alittle too well I am starting to realise.

  19. To stop is the only way to end the momentum of doing we can go into and I am learning with ups and downs and serious messages from my body that the quality I choose to do something in is always first and it is never about the outcome.

  20. Sarah, I have also realised this recently; ‘I am learning that life is simply more joyful when I choose the quality in which I do something and that these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.’ I got so caught up in the doing and trying to do as much as possible that the quality was not always there. I am now realising that quality is the most important thing rather than just getting things done and so I am paying more attention to how I am moving, how I am working and speaking and being.

  21. “these choices about my quality are equally as important as my actual output.”
    I would agree that the quality is equal if not greater than the output. I can achieve and get complimented on a job well done but that doesn’t disolve how I am left feeling afterwards. A task completed in the loveliness that I am doesn’t need anyone to say job well done. Because I know it feels good/true on the inside.

  22. We have stepped away from our truth and the Love that we are, so very far away that it is become more and more common to be stopped by our bodies saying no more. Enough of this abuse and dismissiveness and we are being forced to make changes that are more Loving. Even those moments when we just knock ourselves and we brush off, they are the starting point of being asked to stop. These are all blessings because each time we have an opportunity to choose something different.

  23. Even though I put stop moments in my life because I live in such a raciness I find it hard to stop and deeply surrender in these moments, so if I take the time to rest I often don’t allow my body to deeply rest but stay in a momentum and feel guilty then for wasting the time and I end up feeling more exhausted too.

  24. Beautiful Sarah. I’ve learnt that when we don’t stop life will often step in to stop things for us and we may end up having an accident or an illness that forces us to stay out for a moment and consider the impact of what we are choosing.

  25. Making our doing more important than honouring the quality of who we truly are is an assured path to exhaustion anxiety and stress.

  26. It is so lovely when we do give our selves the ‘ok’ to stop. This is incredibly essential for our well-being and also opens up the awareness to why we might think that stopping isn’t ok, even when every part of our body knows that that is the true choice in the moment.

  27. It is so easy to get caught up in the business of the day and put off the stop moment, but when we do pay heed to the body’s calling we are given a greater awareness of how our body is truly feeling in that loving moment.

  28. When I need to stop and I have the feeling that I cant’ do it, it’s definitely the moment to stop and revise the quality in which I’m moving. When I stop in those moments, I usually find that the quality was not loving. This is the reason that makes the stop moments so essential during the day, because it is what allows me to change the quality and come back to the love everytime it’s needed.

  29. To be very honest, to choose to stop is something extremely unfamiliar in my body especially for work. So in all other areas in life I start to choose stop moments for myself, to begin to familarize my body in how that feels, and extend that into my work day. To be very honest, this has made a very big difference in my life as well as in my work. Stopping is allowing the body a moment to rest, it is equally focused and present, but physically the body requires rest and nourishment, so it is a deepening of care we put on ourselves. This makes so much sense of what the word deepening means.

  30. I love this Sarah! I will love it even more when the day comes we can actually take the time we legitimately need in dedicated resting rooms in our workplaces. That will however require several levels of responsibility of a kind most of us aren’t yet ready for.

  31. Great blog Sarah – the true stop moment is being prepared to listen to the great wisdom the body offers consistently 24/7, rather than dismissing it and pushing through the tick box list to achieve something..

  32. If we embrace constant motion and then have a glass of wine and a cigarette, in truth we have not stopped even if may think so. What does truly mean to stop? Stop is not a moment of relief but a moment to truly come back to you.

  33. Thank you, Sarah. This is a great reminder. I do know a stop, even just for a couple of minutes, taken at the moment the body is asking for is so rejuvenating – but have not been practicing it! I can feel the deep, residual exhaustion in my body.

  34. For me when I am in this …’I just kept going. Just get this job done. Just tidy up the kitchen. Just send that email. Just put that load of washing on… and then I will stop.’ It just exposes the energy I am in and the energy I am moving in which is not from the a loving quality which I know I can be and move in. It is like re-training the whole body and way of being and going ‘no not that way but this way’ which is still very much work in progress for me.

  35. I love the simplicity shared here Sarah about stop moments, I have a stop moment programmed into my mobile everyday at a certain time. It is a beautiful reminder to pause and check in with myself and the quality in how I am moving that day, sometimes I ignore it because I am in the rush of the day, but your blog is inspiring me to commit more to this and to feel how supportive this simple act truly is.

  36. “Nowadays I am looking to bring in more stop moments – a loving work in progress because some days I still override the need to stop.” This is so wise Sarah. If we don’t choose to stop and rest when our body gives us small messages it can manifest in a deep exhaustion and maybe a more serious illness. There will always be ‘one more thing to do before’…….. Listening to our body and honouring what it is asking of us feels so important in this ‘keep busy’ age.

  37. It was like the hugest impossibility to have a nap in the afternoon one day when I felt tired, the impossibility came from an ideal in my head that says I can’t do that. But my body was asking me to rest and in the end I did, and when I woke up and looked myself in the mirror, oh gosh, have not felt and looked so intact for a while, the confirmation was in the living.

  38. I can certainly learn something from this inspiring article, Sarah. It seems that our things to do list we draw up actually cause us to go on and on, while not feeling what needs to be done at each moment. This things-to-list comes from our head and is putting us in a drive to complete it, a drive that is actually harming the body.

  39. The thing is that when we stop to rest in honor of our bodies, we are not really ceasing to move, we are in fact still moving and working towards the task at hand, as we are moving in honor of love. Sometimes a moment of rest is part of the equation, of what is needed, in order to continue to deliver the quality of presence needed to honor the project or task we are working towards. Our bodies certainly do know in every moment what is needed to support us best. And so it makes sense to develop a loving relationship with our bodies so that we can bring our all to all that we do.

  40. Yes I can relate to the concept of ‘just keep going’ no matter what the body is sharing with you. Story of my life!! Resulting in adrenal fatigue and thyroid issues. I now have to take care of my body in a different way these days, I listen more to what it needs and honour that.

  41. The hardest thing can be to sit down on the couch and just do nothing for a minute or two, it is an incredible experience though, as it creates an instant deepening of the connection to how we feel in our body, and that can often be the feeling we have been trying to avoid.

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