203 thoughts on “I am Worthy. Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God”

1. For me it was clear The Way of the Livingness was a true religion, as Serge Benhayon walked his talk and expressed love and care with everyone and everything equally.

2. Vanessa this is exquisite a true claiming of worthiness and a renunciation of the giving up that allowed the inequality to be, something so many including me have experienced. To know and feel our divinity, our connection to that divinity and the equalness we all share in this is such a blessing and there for us all.

3. What I have come to realise is that there is a big gap between observing/clocking and reacting and in that we take a step aside from the truth, and no matter how small the step might be, we are already being affected. So, do we take a step back, or carry on with side-stepping?

4. It is impossible to get disillusioned with true religion.

5. If we are Divine, then we are all experts on God and religion. If any part of us is Divine then we are Divine.

6. I can feel the memories of the catholic mass in my body as I read this, how it was a knowing of being less, and of waiting for someone to redeem you so you could be worthy of the sacrament. Yet I can also feel the expansion in what you shared “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” At One with ALL. There is a very stilling feeling in that sentence that offers a physical reflection of our interconnectedness.

7. It is interesting that we can experience God all around us but when we don’t feel it in other humans we can give up on God even though that would be their choice.

8. I recall feeling deeply religious as a child too – I used to lie in bed in the evening and pray and talk to God about my day. I loved this relationship. Then somewhere along the line I allowed this to disappear, partly as I was made fun of for this by some, and so I began to hide this, and then also I got introduced to the atheist ideas etc. which I wanted to explore as I loved Science and I was told Religion and Science were not compatible. I always struggled to bring it all together for myself as I know of a greater presence that held us and I knew we were more than the mere physical, but it was not till I encountered Universal Medicine that I felt that religion, science and philosophy were married together in harmony and what was presented made total sense – and now my life feels complete in terms of understanding how this all works, though of course there is still so much for me to embrace and look forwards to unfolding in my life when it comes to my relationship with this. But what I do know is that this all sits with me in a way that is in harmony like when I was small and sat in nature and knew that I was held by God.

9. Vanessa this is a brilliant blog exposing the lies we are sold by religion and the church that have nothing to do with the truth of God and everything to do with keeping humanity small and controlled and never knowing they are an equal Son of God. The more we claim and live as a Son of God, the more our movements will confirm to others this important truth that is divinely available for us all.

10. Our connection to God is one made up of our foundation of self loving movements which then uncover our natural connection to the all and everything in between which shows that we are all divine and hence express this through the quality in which we move. Love is a movement and or expression from our bodies.

11. Great Blog Vanessa and I particularly love the bit where you have rewritten the line from the Catholic mass to confirm and claim what it really means to be an equal son of God.

12. It is deeply powerful to surrender to feel this innate relationship with the love we are from and the responsibility that goes with that relationship. Rather than cower, hide or live in ignorance of the effect of our choices on all others, it offers an opportunity to be more accountable, responsible and feel the connection that comes from the relationship with all we are.

13. We cannot no matter how hard we try know God through empty words that do not live inside us. What has become clear to me through attending Universal Medicine is the fact that there are two sources of energy that fuel me in every moment, one from God and the other not from God and it is down to me and only me to unfold and live the knowing of the energy that runs through my body in my daily living.

14. I did not grow up as a Catholic but reading this blog makes me realise that the Hindu religion is no different except it has a eastern flavour to it.

    The religion I grew up around had many beliefs and conformities and if we strayed from this, we were judged. We were either seen as ‘good’ if we committed ourselves to the temple and ‘bad’ if we stayed away from it. The reality is the hypocrisy was what people couldn’t tolerate so they stayed away and from time to time would attend the temple occasionally.

    For me it was the imposition that made me run the other way and I could not find true religion. For me true religion is coming from the one source and that is God irrespective of the colour of your skin or the country we are birthed forth.

    Love has no religion……

    1. Or love is lived religion. Both can be true.

15. Its quite funny how we humans fool each other about God, or we do silly incomprehensible things to ourselves, like smoking, or drinking poison (alcohol). But at the end of all this way of living we are all Sons Of God no-matter what we do, that truth will never change. Like the phrase “diamond in the rough” that diamond is still a diamond. You and all of us are all Sons of God in the rough or not.

16. I attended catholic mass until the age of 12 when I too could see the hypocrisy of the church, since then have never set foot there again, However, it has taken me a lot of my life to remove the insidious layers of guilt and fear that has made me feel less than the true son of God I am now claiming myself to be.

17. Instilling a sense of being unworthy and therefore dependent on someone or something else is an insidious controlling method of many established organisations. The Way of The Livingness teaches that we are equal and are all equal Sons of God and the truth of this is within each and everyone of us.

18. ‘the Kingdom of God is inside you’ – all we ever need for life’s journey is already within, all we have to do is live true to ourselves to access the gold inside.

19. ‘It was my choice to give up on God: fortunately, I now know God doesn’t hold a grudge’. When we come to this awareness, we know it is just a choice to reconnect with him, like returning to an old lost friend who has open loving arms saying; ‘I was waiting for you…

20. I am worthy, the first 3 words of the title and so powerful.

21. “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” I absolutely love that you have reworded this, such a powerful way to re-imprint those old beliefs and which I feel to use!

    1. Yes, it is beautiful.

22. In deep appreciation Vanessa for writing this blog, it feels it has come straight from heaven. I took on those beliefs too from the Catholic church that I was not worthy and that I did not deserve…..and like you, I said those words every week too over and over as they became ingrained like a mantra. It’s like the jigsaw pieces are fitting into place – I now realise just how harmful and evil these words and teachings are from the Catholic church and how they totally destroy your natural divinity and connection with God.

    1. I suspect we will start to understand just how harming words are. For me they are like sound and have a ripple effect that sits in our body. Words that take us a way from knowing where we come from, the Love that we are made of and that we are here to reflect to the world, those words embed themselves in our bodies feeding a lack of self worth which has very serious physical and emotional consequences.

23. ‘I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.’ Beautiful Vanessa, I would have loved to have heard words like these spoken at a catholic mass when I was young as they offer people a raise and a true healing rather than the damage done when you’re continually told you are a ‘sinner’ and ‘unworthy’ all the time by the church.

24. I was not brought up as a Catholic but I can recognise those hidden messages that were fed to me as I grew up about not being worthy, being less than and how religion was looked up to by many as having the answers.

25. When you buy into an established religion as the gateway to God, when you buy into identifying an established religion with religion, and you give up on your religion, you cannot but give up on God. This shows how dangerous is to buy into those false beliefs.

26. Vanessa, what your are expressing is so apt for me and anyone brought up in a catholic background. All outside of oneself, yet at a deep level as a child, I knew that God was within me. The words “the kingdom of God is within” came back to me later in life, and the gradual unfolding of this has been and is my life time journey with self and others. What power and corruption the church has over its people, as many and I so easily believed that the “Kingdom” can’t possible be within me. Yes a deep self-worth issue prevailing in my life.

27. Stunning Vanessa. I also grew up in the catholic religion and that dis-empowerment you speak to here is so insidious. It’s only years later having left catholicism, that I began to unpick all it had put on me, and in fact it was in finding The Way of The Livingness that I began to understand what it is to truly be ourselves to back ourselves and know we are Sons of God and to meet God we do so in equalness, never in supplication. We are all part of God and to be less than that is dishonouring of both us and God.

28. Vanessa it must have been intense recovering from the ingrained beliefs you were not worthy of being a Son of God. I’m sure such beliefs impact daily choices made in life and could lead to some very self destructive behaviours. I find it disturbing that in the Catholic Church there is such a strong focus on what you did wrong and how you can never be worthy because of this etc, instead of focusing on the actual beauty of who we are and the truth (as delivered by Jesus) that the kingdom of God is within. Perhaps if this truth from Jesus was cultivated and focused on the Catholic Church would lose their false authority and control over others and the money that comes with it, because all we need would come from the connection to God within not from the Catholic religion. There could also be no hierarchical structure because there is absolute equality with all in living connected to God as Sons of God.

29. The hypocrisy and corruption we observe being played out around us is deeply disturbing; as children we know that people don’t walk their talk and learn that words are cheap.

30. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs centred around the Catholic faith lately and I’m starting to understand why. I’ve always felt I wasn’t ‘enough’ in some way. I didn’t grow up in the Catholic religion but I was exposed to Christen beliefs. You have me wondering what I have really taken on from religion.

31. I loved what you shared especially this line “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” a beautiful claiming. I know only too well what you have shared Vanessa, having been brought up a catholic and wanting to serve God from a young age. I carried this unworthiness around within my body for almost sixty years this feeling that I am a sinner and unworthy, affecting every aspect of my life, before coming to know the truth of who we truly are through The Way of The Livingness. In effect what the Catholic religion teaches is separation from our true selves and separation from God thereby giving our power away.

32. I did not grow up with any set Religion, my parents believed in the universe being a powerful thing and that god was love and love was inside you. I was taught that every illness and disease in the body could be healed if we first addressed why it had come to us and what message it held. I was taught that “what will be will be” and that karma was you reap what you sow. I was taught that if I closed my eyes and sat with myself, things would come, strong readings and I should let them flow and read what message was there. I loved baby Jesus as a child and Mum never deterred me from loving him but explained that he was just a man and not what the Church had made him out to be. I find it fascinating to read about all our different experiences growing up and what we are all returning to. What I now know, is no matter what we grow up with, if it is a belief and not a lived way, then it does not carry much weight in the end.

33. What really stands out is how well the whole thing is orchestrated to disempower a son of God from all angles. I am not even a Christian and have no experience of confession or any kind of rituals yet what you describe feels very familiar and it is so clear that is how the whole thing is being sustained while we remain unquestioning and submissive to what we get told is right and holy and think we are free to do whatever we want.

34. Thanks Vanessa for calling out the undermining and the self-sabotaging rituals and prayers continually chanted as part of the Masses of the catholic church. We are all Son’s of God who’s purpose is to be and live the love we are – this is the foundation of true religion, a religion that celebrates everyone of us just as we are – equally.

35. Vanessa your blog exposes the lack of love and self care in most organised religions. You can feel the complete set up one can be held under to never feel their enormous love and equality to all. It becomes a system to abide by through fear, never being offered to feel what true gifts we are. In what you share you can feel how God becomes one to fear, his love becomes conditional, and your movements become contracted as you attempt to squash all your light to fit into a box your told is needed, if you are to be loved by God. A complete sham, as one discovers, if they chose to re-ignite the love within.

36. I too grew up within the Catholic church and as a young girl I wanted to be an alter server. I was ridiculed by the priest and told I couldn’t because I was a girl and was not allowed on the altar, that this place was reserved for men. At the time I felt robbed, I felt I had a sense of what Jesus represented and this was not it, I was totally confused and resented the priest and wondered what made him more holy and loving. While I could see this was a farce it also had an impact and I took on that I was less as a girl.

37. Far too often we blame God for the choices people make of their free will.

38. Great blog Vanessa, I was totally disillusioned about God from childhood, because I had an expectation of how God should be. I now realise that it was because I was reluctant to take responsibility for my own choices, and that God walks with us, regardless of our choices because he never judges us.

39. It is sad to feel in a way that as a child we are such bundles of love and joy and deeply connected to God, but we choose to leave this in favour of recognition and the way God is presented by the mainstream religions. It is empowering to feel the love we and God are. It is our choice to go with this and reconnect to the shining joy that we are, and always have been.

40. I was also brought up in the Catholic Church and one of the things that I took away was that I was less than God and that God was almost a mythical being. I was also 15 when I stopped going to church, yes for what I saw, but as I reflect I can see that my reaction was that I didn’t believe that I was less. If God was all loving, how could anyone be less? That simply didn’t make sense to me at all. Having studied for some time with Universal Medicine I now have a deeper inner connection to God and therefore understanding. But the most important understanding is that “everything is energy” and that “we are the subjects of energy”. This explained totally all the questions that I had about why I felt the way I did about church-based religion. Our connection to God is totally based on our choices, that’s it. When I am connected, I don’t feel less than anyone, I simply feel like me. If I’m not then self-doubt creeps in and lack of confidence or even feeling like I need to prove myself.

41. What you write here is deeply healing on many levels for all of us. How aware are we of the words someone says and the effect they have on us? How often are they buried in our subconscious but influence our conscious? You are not worthy is one, but the feeling that someone is coming to save you is there for so many of us!! ““but only say the word and I shall be healed” This just abdicates our responsibility for our choices – I feel myself hanging on the edge of my seat just asking for that feeling of relief. Fascinating what lies under the surface.

42. If any person repeatedly encouraged someone to state that “they are not worthy” they would be hauled up as being abusive. It begs the question how come this is accepted on behalf of a religious institution?

43. The greatest trick of all is to believe that healing comes through another. To realise and understand that to accept and live the glory a son of God is, is to again know what healing truly is.

44. There are so many things that are contradictory in the world and the way we live but we accept it as we allow the mind to come up with arguments that justify. We have learned to pick and choose but in truth life is a whole and needs to be lived in this wholeness. If we do not understand this we will keep going the way we have, choosing what we ‘like’ and ignoring, fighting or complaining about what we don’t.

    1. Thank you Esther, life for me is in learning to rely on the truth I already know and am within and letting go of giving my power to anything outside of me.

45. Something that I always question is, of we can feel the immense divinity around us and within us, what happens to make us feel otherwise?

46. I can see from what you have written how the ”priests were in a position of great power knowing everyone’s secrets”; what a perfect position to be in if the church needed a new roof, or if a whole new church, bigger and more ornate, was called for. Wow – for someone who up until now has known very little about the machinations of the Catholic Church, this misused power and the fact that you could offload your sins for a few coins is rather staggering. I am so pleased that my grandfather left this religion way before my father was born as this upbringing is one I would not have wanted for my life.

47. I like the observations you made as a child. It shows very clearly that children are aware of what is going on around them and that we can’t fool them.

48. A true Son of God knows and lives his equality to all, for Love expresses equally to all.

49. When we give up on God we actually have given up on people that are living in a way that is so much less than what we know to be true in accordance with our true way of being as divine sons of God. Thus we need to restore not just our relationship with God but with people and thereby with ourselves on all levels.

50. “I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed”. – in terms of self-responsibility, how much does that line offer us the comfort of irresponsibility? Yes, it is disempowering but that only means it is an invitation to give away one´s power and that equals denying one´s responsibility for every choice.

51. There’s such a lightness in this blog. It feels cleansing and as for the rewriting of the Mass. True divinity. Thank you Vanessa.

52. A most beautiful unravelling of being a son of god, that, as your story shows, cannot be taken away from us. There is so much force in this world, but all the while underneath there is always the love that we are and can say yes to.

53. If God is within our bodies then each message from our bodies has a divine origin, how awesome then is it to listen to what our bodies are telling us?

54. In many areas of life whether it be science, medicine or religion there is a trend towards looking outside of us for the solutions or the support we know we need rather than understanding that we already have the awareness and the support inside of us and through this connection with ourselves we are connected to God and the Universe and an enormous amount of wisdom, joy, love and understanding.

55. It’s amazing how as a child we are very connected to divinity and how glorious we are, if I look at what has happened since I can ask “what has happened?” For me the simple answer is, we change the way we use our body, because divinity flows in and through the body.

56. ‘I am worthy’, the first 3 words of the title of this blog are pure gold.

57. What a powerful blog Vanessa and truly healing for I too was brought up in the catholic Irish faith and now I fully understand why I felt so unworthy to receive God’s love….. I love, love, love your re-write: “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” I can feel how these words of truth are re-imprinting anything that still remains from that old, outdated and serving no-one catholic consciousness in my body.

58. I too have not felt worthy of much at all for most of my life and I have seen and am seeing how this plays out in my life. What I find shocking is that by choosing to give my power away to institutionalised religion has been so detrimental to my body and the way I have lived in all areas of my life in that it was impossible to separate going to chapel and listening to the mistruths on Sunday and how this affected me during the rest of the week. Yet this was what I had chosen and thought was the answer to find that nothing could be further from the truth.

59. We are all experts on God and have equal opportunity to connect with that energy by virtue of us ALL being, living and breathing within Him. No one is excluded – which shows me how crazy ‘main stream’ religion is to deem a chosen few that are akin to God. This speaks to me of control and manipulation and has nothing to do with the ever present God that holds us all as equals.

    1. Yes Rachael, the control and manipulation used by more traditional religions has kept people further away from true love and knowing they are equal Sons of God.

60. What a great revelation – we are born with God and when we grow up we get it hammered out of us by people that think they represent God. And they think what they are doing is the opposite…

    1. It’s pure evil – that people are both promoting and believing that we are separate to God.

61. This is so brilliant Vanessa and I can relate to your story as I had similar experiences with the Catholic Church myself when I was growing up. Your suggested rewrite for the Catholic mass is gold as there are many passages that could be rewritten in this loving way to remind us that we are the sons of God equally so and the deep connection with all have with God and divinity.

62. The way that that line from the Catholic church undermines, dis-empowers and dis-connects really is abusive we could say – it’s like it’s saying someone will never be good enough and they will always need a confessional or Jesus or something to save them rather than confirming people as being the complete sons of God we all equally are and that we are all our own saviours, each and every one of us, through connection with our innermost.

63. Stunning, the blessing I received from your revised Catholic Mass was felt in my body. I too heard that expression and I didn’t consciously choose to be aware of just how debilitating it is.

64. It shows the power to destroy or the power to heal with words. There are so many sayings, beliefs and ideals that restrict and smother our innate knowing that each one of us is a son of God. I used to have said to me, ‘if you had a brain it would be lonely’. I knew it meant you are stupid or dumb and this undermined many of my decisions. Vanessa, as you showed, that no matter what, we know the truth and therefore know what is not.

    1. Your stating words chosen by the speaker either damage people’s self-concept or support them to heal/confirm/accept their self-worth, so needs shouting from the rooftops. Innately we all know words can go deep, however, the full extent of this is is something most choose to not let truly register in their consciousness. This is what many religions have exploited to help them keep control of the masses throughout the annals of history.

65. The Way of The Livingness resurrects true religion and supports people to be free and understand that they have a choice and what that choice is and not as so many religions teach to give our power away to someone, person or deity, who knows ‘better’.

66. I have never had much to do with the Catholic Church or Catholicism but to me it seems to be all about taking you away from your soul and God. I find this is something pretty evil.

    1. Spot on Nikki, it is evil when a religion imposes on you are you are not free to be yourself in anyway.

67. Vanessa you have certainly shown the link between a sense of separation and unworthiness before God and the teachings you were exposed to. I read about the penance scam when I was studying history, and realised that there was a deliberate set-up to keep the ‘the flock’ separated from the priesthood and the direct teachings as written – information was controlled. However, I still have carried that sense of unworthiness, which comes from a condition I’ve put on things – just as you have said, I had an idealised picture of what it is to be deserving. I tried very hard to be deserving when I was young, which suggests there was a deep pull to the teachings of Yeshua, but I never could meet the mark and so gave up. Now I know it’s about accepting where I am at all times, there is no perfection, we are all innately sons of God.

68. A great article and one that shows the power of words and how they can be used to keep us small and feeling powerless. I love how you have just turned one line around to break the hold it had on you and to make it true. You haven’t given up on God but reclaimed your relationship with him/her “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” and the clarity that you now have is at least in part from letting go of eating or drinking that which is stimulating or stagnating, this is very inspiring.

69. Thank you Vanessa for writing this excellent blog so clearly. I was also raised in the Catholic Church and went to church all of my childhood and I had not considered the full impact of the words spoken repeatedly in mass had had on me also. I have often struggled with self worth issues and a general doubt of my connection with God and the Universe and what you present here makes so much sense as to how this influence from such an early age has left a mark on me. Obviously it was ultimately my choice to disconnect from what I know is the truth inside my body about my divinity and disempower myself to the Catholic church, but it is very healing to understand more deeply the influences and perhaps the ties that still remain there even though I have not been a practising Catholic for some 22 years.

    1. It is obvious to me that the Catholic Church does not support anyone to realise the fact that we are the Sons of God. Whilst they talk about that we are God’s children, they do not put that into practice.

70. Vanessa, this is so powerful and it blows apart how we have been fooled and asked to sell ourselves to the catholic church, to have our connection to God managed through them and to be encouraged to see ourselves as less than the equal sons of God we are. And how you rewrite that line on worthiness changes it completely and what I feel reading it is that I am back living in the centre of my life and feeling my connection with God’“I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.”

71. Brilliant article Vanessa and I love your re-written line “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” So very beautiful.

72. Whenever I feel something imposing on me eg. walking into a church and it feels crushing, capping, trying to make me feel small, it is a great marker within my body that what I am being presented with is not true.

73. It’s really revealing how so-called religions are designed to disempower people in such insidious ways that many just don’t find God relatable at all and think there only is one Son of God. The Way of The Livingness is also my choice of religion that has allowed me to reconnect with my true essence as a Son of God too.

74. This is very healing Vanessa. These prayers that we have said are very powerful. They have imprinted within us and have configured to keep us feeling less. I have felt that they are a poison that needs healing. We can do this. We can know deep within that we are made of love, that because we are sparks of god that we are worthy of this love and that we do not need a third party to stand between ourselves and god, ever. This is something we deeply know and that Serge Benhayon has confirmed. Serge has inspired us to heal these poisons that have kept us separated from the love that we are. No more separation and so much love.

75. How sad that many are still putting their children through the same experiences they had growing up in Religions that have not changed. This means our children will come out of the experience like we did with little self esteem and not valuing themselves as equal Sons to a loving Father ( God) either. When will we stand up and be counted as the Brotherhood of man and not sinners?

76. Feeling God around us naturally so when we are children, is indeed a blessing. But to see how true religion can be bastardised and turned into something it is not (and yet still being called a religion) is not pleasant to witness. Thank you Vanessa for sharing so beautifully about your experiences on religion.

77. I feel the complete truth of your rewrite of the phrase that is said in Mass. All inclusive and equally valuing of ourselves and God.

78. Well claimed Vanessa. I have written similarly on my experiences with the Anglican Church where the words ‘I am not so worthy as to pick up the crumbs under thy table’ are part of the regular ‘script’. How wonderful it is to heal the wounds of our self-created unworthiness and realise our true Divine Beingness – something that our truly loving and graceful Father holds us in all day, every day – until we return to the knowing of it for ourselves.

79. Thank you Vanessa for a great sharing one that I could well relate to having grown up in the Catholic Church, I too have taken on this unworthiness, never being good enough has coloured my life till true religion entered my life. I just love the truth of these words ” “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” just beautiful.

80. A True Religion is that which brings out the divinity from within and our connection with the all, this is what The Way of The Livingness does and much more and I too am forever grateful to have found it as I now have found who I really am.

81. Vanessa, I love your re-write of the standard phrase that millions in the Catholic faith use at various times, one that I feel would chip away at the self worth of the one uttering it, whereas yours honours them for who they truly are. “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” How powerful your wording is in giving back to the person the knowing that self worth is their choice and not at the whim of another whose underlying motivation could possibly be brought into question. Thank you for this insight into a religion that to me appears to undermine its follower’s well-being, as well as creating separation in the world; in my book definitely not a true religion.

82. Institutionalised religion never made sense to me either, I felt the truths that Jesus presented, such as the kingdom of God is within you, we’re very simple. I felt these were given freely and equally to everyone by Jesus, and no one had greater access to or power in delivering these. It’s as if institutionalised religion has taken this living wisdom and turned it into knowledge then claimed ownership of the knowledge. But to me true religion is something we live and share through the quality, truth, and love we live by. Wisdom belongs equally to us all and cannot be owned.

83. So many institutionalised religions emphasise our unworthiness. As an instrument of control it has worked well through out the ages. I always felt the ability to do wrong, go to confession, be absolved, and then do it all again felt wrong. Thank God – literally – for The Way of The Livingness, which never tells us what to do, but through Serge Benhayon truth is clearly presented and it is then up to us to choose.

    1. Although my family did not attend a Catholic Church I have been raised with ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and punishment, and shame and guilt. As a child I could feel this was not from the connection to the magnificence I felt within me, and that which I knew was I inherent within everyone. I knew this was God but know one ever spoke about this magnificence – yet I could feel everyone felt it in some way. Thank god for Serge Benhayen and his unwavering commitment to the magnificent connection to god within him – and like Jesus and the many others who share their lived wisdom – that the kingdom of god is inside you – because I sure as hell had given myself away so many times I’d forgotten who the heaven I am!

84. This is the real face of the institutionalised religions, that they have made ways to manipulate and control people by assuming that God is outside of us and can only be accessed through ‘the church’ and obeying to its rules. How falsely is this compared to the divine nature we are, which is fully lived in The Way of The Livngness, the true religion I am.

85. It’s amazing how deep these beliefs about being unworthy go. I was not brought up as a catholic but still there was plenty in my upbringing that would instill this idea that I was less than those in authority above me. Every religion that I looked in to seemed to have fallen for a system that would keep it’s followers just that, followers, with little power of their own. The Way of The Livingness is inspiring in its underlying acceptance that in essence we are all the same and although we may all express differently, as we see things from different angles, we are all equal and worthy equally also. When we start to put ourselves below or above others we create a separation and can no longer be all that we are and bring that to the rest of humanity.

86. It is fascinating to read how subtle the influence of words spoken in church can be, and it makes me question not only what have I taken on with out discerning the quality and the influence on my thinking mind, but also how far does this influence stretch out in to our daily living societies?

87. What I have found interesting Vanessa is that I grew up in a family where religion was not a part of our life, yet I too was affected as you share above. This then leaves me with the question, just what kind of foot print has been left on our world that mainstream religion can leave one in utter disillusionment of God and the love that is within each of us, even though that love was felt and lived as a child?
    We need to have these discussions for the impact is huge and false, and needs to be highlighted to allow us all to find that ‘the kingdom of God does actually lie within.’

88. God does not forgive as he does not judge, a judgmental God was made up by institutionalized religion to help control the masses by encouraging the giving away of their power to someone who could ‘take away’ their sins. This encouraged obedience and did nothing to encourage natural connection between man and God. This mind set and consciousness still effects many today. God is love not judgement.

    1. Beautifully said Samantha.

89. Vanessa I know that line very well. In fact I still know each word to a church mass off by heart, which I still find a bit disturbing. Nevertheless, when I used to go to church, I never recall hearing about what healing was and what it meant. So if we have the view that we have not been healed (whatever that means) then it continually cements in the belief that we are not worthy. How could God, who is love say that we are not worthy? Because we are worthy. We are made of God and God of us, so we have to be.

90. Thank you Vanessa, your words “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” deeply touch me with a deep sadness for the unworthiness I still carry in my body from my time in the Catholic Religion. The church has so much to answer for in the lies and misrepresentation of God it has given to the millions over many centuries. I feel privileged to have come to know the truth of who I am, a divine son of God learning to live this in my everyday life.

91. The Way of The Livingness is a religion that simply encourages us to live in a certain way honouring and loving our bodies in which the connection to the Divine is just a natural way of being.

92. This is a great expose of the way religion as most people know it, keeps us trapped with dogmas and the feeling of being less than God. I see this all the time with people giving their life to the church never stopping and connecting and honouring their own bodies…… the place where they can truly find God is within.

93. There is very much a thread evident throughout society that looks to others to fix or save them… and although this is based on an element of irresponsibility, the foundation feels to be perpetuated by religions that promote looking outside to something seemingly greater than themselves rather than within, where the true wisdom and answers lie. We have been deeply disempowered by this.

94. I love how you re-wrote the Catholic Mass to actually make sense. Awesome to hear your first hand experience of how these traditional Catholic Mass prayers affect you long term.
    I have many Catholic friends that are devoted church attendees and I accept and respect that everyone has their own beliefs but I cant help but feel there is room for improvement in a book/bible that I feel is a long way from it original intent.

95. ‘I am not worthy to receive the body of Christ…”…. well if we are all the sons of God then we are all worthy indeed.

96. Wow! I went to church and catholic schools until I was 15 and can totally relate to all of this. In fact I didn’t realise that this saying in church still had a hold on me until I read this. It’s like a curse that gets cast over is until we see beyond it – very evil. I can also see how this line and I’m sure there are others have effected my whole family. I’m very keen to ponder on the rest of my catholic experience and see what else I may be holding onto. Thank you for the deep healing.

97. Not being worthy must be one of those tenets of the Catholic Church that keeps people bound and under their cudgel; it does not feel like something that the man Jesus ever uttered, would have ever uttered.

98. It seems that all institutional religions use some form of control to keep their flock obedient and suppressed to their own chosen reinterpretation of God. It is very revealing Vanessa that as a young child you had a natural connection and knowing of God within you and it was the established church that took it away. The Way of The Livingness as presented by Universal Medicine is to choose a natural way of living that allows a profound re-connection to love/God and living as a true Son of God in equalness with every other Son of God.

99. I just loved your sharing Vanessa, as it so much reflected my life in the Catholic Church, it has been a slow road for me, back to claiming who I truly am, a divine worthy son of God, from carrying deep within me, for all of my 70 years, the lies that I was a sinner carrying this stain of sin, with a deep sense of unworthiness. This developed in me another lie that I had to be “good” for God to love me. I Iike what you say, where would religion be with sin as their currency. We are so blessed today to be presented with what true religion really is, that it is so simple and freeing, living within me, just waiting to be connected to.

100. Growing up I was taught that religion was the catholic church presented and with the ideals and beliefs that as a child you do not know a lot and adults know better. I took on all that I observed and felt in the church was religion and the way to relate to God. What I also felt was cold, dark and imposing – no love or warmth.
     Fast forward to the presentations of Serge Benhayon – I became very aware of the fact that that cold, dark and imposing energy is not God or religion. True religion is simple, warm and in our hearts, it is in the every day. I am forever appreciating these presentations but also this blog as I remember reading it before and it left a deep feeling of knowing God within me after reading it so, thank you.

101. A very exposing blog thank you Vanessa. I left the Catholic Church at 13 and fought with my family not to go to Mass every single week after that until I left home at 19. The church was not for me. It felt cold and I knew that God was Love and love was certainly not cold.

102. This is a fascinating blog to read. And how clearly these words are in contradiction of each other – ‘the kingdom of God is inside you’ and ‘I am not worthy to receive you’. Why hasn’t anyone put these lines on the same page before? Because this raises some pretty big questions about our relationship with God.

103. Vanessa there is much in your sharing that I can relate to my own experience of growing up in a religion (a Protestant one). Very similar to you we were to told we weren’t worthy in the church service also and reminded we were sinners. This put me on the road to discovering another way through Serge Benhayons presentations and learning to Love and value myself and all others as equals.

104. l have posted this blog on facebook declaring what happened to you as a form of abuse. Some may say that is ridiculous but your feeling of God and yourself was shaped and changed due to those untruthful words. lt is such a powerful healing you offer in your last quote of what you have since discovered is true for you. l felt others would be healed by these words also.
     Thank you Vanessa.

105. I love the way you’ve shown up that line from catholic mass Vanessa. Incredible how disempowering and belittling it is and important to ask, as you have, why people would accept that as normal, religious or something that would come from God..?

106. Reading your blog is really healing as I can feel how I felt like not being equal to God in a subtle way, yet after reading your blog I feel clearly that I am an Son of God which simply means to be equal to God.

107. “It was my choice to give up on God: fortunately, I now know God doesn’t hold a grudge.” I love this line. When I read it I could feel so deeply that God just is, he holds us in love, no matter what we do. Even if we give up on him he won’t disappear because God just is and does not need us to believe in him to exist.

108. I was brought up in the Presbyterian church and have had a similar experience to yours Vanessa in the sense of never feeling good enough partly because of the messages received. And I agree with what you say – that whilst what organised religion has been doing for centuries is insidiously harming, we have been allowing it to continue by choosing to not be responsible.

109. Vanessa, I found your situation has closely mirrored mine. I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family and the phrase you have written about is very familiar to me. I had just never specifically recalled it before but now that you have brought it to my attention it makes so much sense with why I have struggled with self doubt and a sense of unworthiness and of being a perpetual ‘sinner’ and with the word ‘religion’ in general. I have had a sense for a long time that it was up to a higher being to judge whether or not I was a ‘good’ person and therefore I have struggled to find a sense of ease and acceptance with understanding that who I am is perfectly fine just in ‘being’ without worrying about ‘doing’, and that love is something that I build and confirm for myself without fear or reliance on the whim of another.

110. Having had a similar experience in an Anglican Church, I would hope that in future this type of wording will be changed at some point, for the future generations of church goers. For us to be told lies and kept small and humble by these words , creeping around like a mouse for ” crumbs under the table,” no wonder many of us have little sense of self worth. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and his presentations of the Way of The Livingness. Great sharing, thank you Vanessa.

111. This is so getest to read, it is incredible how the a institution like the church is not supporting humanity at all.

112. ‘Reclaiming myself as a Son of God’ is a powerful statement Vanessa and one that has been so bastardised by the Catholic Church to make sure we never claim this for ourselves. Even though I was not brought up in any religion it was still difficult at first for me to accept that I was a Son of God and that God was inside me and not in any Church or Synagogue, It felt like the Priests had the monopoly on this and they had the final say.

113. I loved reading your article Vanessa and your edit to the line from the Mass especially – the Catholic Church sure has a lot to answer for.

114. This was quite similar to my experience yet I was slower to leave the church. In the end, and I had tried very hard to be part of things, I felt that I had put my fate in the hands of priests for too long and decided I would be better off not allowing someone to stand between me and God. I did not see a lot of love in the organisation of the church and I knew that God is love so the decision was simple and easy.

115. I love how you have rewritten this line from the Catholic Mass Vanessa and asserted the worthiness of all of us; as others have said I can feel how I have been affected by it despite not growing up as a Catholic and how damaging that has been, but we now know that we have a choice and this blog is awesome in exposing the lies we have been sold, but also in sharing your journey back to a deep knowing and claiming that you are a Son of God.

116. The fact that a franchise that pictures itself as the representative of God on Earth is able to turn a deeply religious person away from God is very telling. The fact that it also educates on not being worthy enough to receive Him is also remarkable when we are His Sons. The fact that their established way of doing things dis-honour and dis-empower a Son of God in every way is truly a dis-service to humanity.

     1. Kapow Eduardo! A franchise – and that it is. Dare I say Mc-religion, all packaged up neatly by central office, sent the the branches for delivery to the people.
        Mass disempowerment is the perfect mirror to the mass malnutrition offered by the food based version.
        We go to the fast food outlet because we cannot be bothered to cook and nourish ourselves.
        We go to church because we do not take the time or care to find God within – and nourish that connection.
        The heart breaking thing is that we have children raised in and by both, and both franchises, with their un-nourishing fare become their normal.

        1. Institutionalised religion for me, sums up the lack of responsibility that so many people approach going to church with for an hour on Sunday – as in having done their bit for the week and then it doesn’t matter how they live for the rest of the time. We can abdicate responsibility to self in the same way, such as fuelling our body from a fast food outlet because we can’t be bothered to lovingly prepare food for ourselves to nourish our body that carries us everywhere.

        2. Well what you described made me smile.

        3. It’s interesting what both you and Eduardo have shared Rachel and thank you for making the connection between these two institutions in order to be able to see that what they have in common is the land and wealth amassed by each of them through providing (as you say) products that have no nourishment – to the detriment of humanity.

        4. When we start to appreciate these bodies of ours no longer do we want to fill ourselves with food that hurts rather than nourishes us. So too for religion or spirituality. Never would we choose anything that would set us backwards, away for the path of return.
           So…why have we chosen these non-nourishing things, allowed the wealth to amass in those institutions and things that serve us not one drop?

     2. That’s a brilliant image, Eduardo and Rachel. So funny, so spot-on. It is a business after all that is only interested in fattening its own pocket.

     3. Well said Eduardo. It simply does not make sense when you put it like this and it was exactly that I was pondering on when reading this blog.

117. I agree Vanessa. The concept with any religion that ‘you can live as you want, confess, pay up and you get your ‘pass into heaven’ card all the same’ does not make total sense to me either.

     1. What about the fact that absolution from sins used to be sold. It paid for the roof on St Peter’s Basilica, and quite a lot of of amassed land and wealth.
        That to me is interesting. Why would you seek to put a stop to sin when it is your chief source of income? It is not the same today, at least not overtly, but without sin what is the job of the church? If we all stopped sinning, would the Church have any purpose?
        So my next question is, do the church truly have an interest in their laity living espoused lives of purity and connection to God? Or do they like the status quo as it is with lots of sin – hence justifying their existence?
        What then is their true purpose – the return of man to their Godliness, or the shoring up of their own livelihoods?

        1. Great exposing of the vested interests at play in the Church Rachel.

118. A great blog, Vanessa and very exposing of the fixed ideals and beliefs held in the Catholic church. It’s really sad that many of us have spent a lot of our lives overriding the true feelings from our bodies about the religions we were brought up in, but that was a choice we made at the time. To be able to now know our equality with God and the amazingness that we feel because of that, is a beautiful gift to self and to others.

119. I spent half my childhood in a Catholic church, it was a big old cold building vacant of love. I find it unfathomable how mankind has been hoodwinked by this institution all throughout the ages as even the foundations it has been built on are far from the truth of how things are. How are we supposed to evolve if we are bombarded with the idea we are all sinners and are not worthy.

120. My relationship with God has been rebuilding but the penny thats dropped today after reading this is that there is a process of feeling once again that love that’s all around me but equally so a choice (or series of choices) to allow the relationship to be equal. God shares with me all he is so why not share all I am with God?

121. Fascinating to read your experience about how the Catholic Church inculcates lack of self-worth from a very young age and perpetuates it through its insidious rituals, keeping people in guilt, shame and doubt about their connection to God. But as you say, we need to take responsibility for giving up on the glory we truly are and you provide the opportunity to rethink the choices that got us there.

122. Indoctrination by repeated mistruths has held the world to ransom and those in it for so very long. Let us not forget though that we make the choices that we then have to either endure – awaiting the opportunity for us to choose again or live joyfully by for our choice is always based on truth.
     The power of the truth is that it does not need repeating incessantly to hold another to conformity – it merely states that there is this and you can align. The devastation of the church is and all other religious forces is that they have to constantly reaffirm the bastardised versions of truth in order to keep people in line, under rule and so that they do not forget…They cannot drift back to truth if the prison of words is so very tight around ones heart.

123. Great confirmation that we are all equal sons of god and he’s just waiting for us all to return.

124. My experience with church teachings gave me the same feelings of unworthiness that hung like a threat to be ‘good’ or else. The true religion of The Way of the Livingness is a connection to God through the way we live in honouring ourselves and all others as equals. We are each and every one of us a Son of God, no threats, no magic wands; pure love.

125. The beliefs of the catholic church are so crazy. I have grown up with that. It`s all about anxiety and guilt. Since a family member knows that I am deeply connected to Unimed and don`t go to church anymore, there is a fear that I will be going to hell and massive pressure is put on me. It makes no sense to say anything about it. Some people seem to be completely owned by the catholic church, it`s just massive.

126. Vanessa I find your blog most interesting as I was raised in the Presbyterian faith where there was no third party penance or direct exchange of favours, and yet I still felt an enormous unworthiness. I can’t put my finger on a particular phrase but the whole experience for me carried the message that we are sinners but through God’s love we can mend our ways. I could not connect with God because I always saw myself as lesser and unworthy; until Universal Medicine it never occurred to me that I am, by the law of nature and the universe, a spark of God and therefore God is within me, it just is the way it is, nothing to earn, aspire to or fall out of grace from. I simply need to allow myself to feel the essence of God (so natural I hadn’t taken notice before), and nurture that essence that lives within.

127. Vanessa, this has been a quick visit to my childhood experiences and the insidious attempts of what I felt was the brainwashing exercises of the catholic church – a place I prefer never to visit. It has also reminded me of the very personal, loving and unquestionable connection I have with God. This is alive and well and thriving. The beauty of where I am now is that I live this in my ‘Livingness’ everyday and are no longer hooked into the belief that I have to practice my love and relationship with God through what I experienced asthe confining, controlling and restrictive medium of the catholic church. I loved your rephrasing of the prayer – ‘“I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so’. Thank you

128. And I love that you rewrote it:
     “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.”
     Beauty and truth together. Thank God. Thank you.

129. I agree Vanessa and have a similar experience with the catholic church, and giving up on God, as you say “this is all a set up to keep us small, to doubt ourselves… but ultimately to doubt our connection to God?” And thanks to your blog I have felt deeper into that phrase that I had already realized that was harmful, but now even more as I can see how it puts others as bigger, grander, more connected, more light than me. I realize I still had the romantic (false) feeling of that phrase people that seem more advanced: I am not worthy of you coming into my house but with one word from you I shall be healed. It leaves me less, small, needing rescue, and there is the practitioner, the fifth degree initiate, the one with the bigger light, with the power that I don´t chose to consistently live in. Thank you Vanessa for uncovering a very deep falsity we have absorbed from the teachings of the catholic church. Insidious and difficult to see when it is one’s everyday as a young person.

130. A great and exposing article, and wow to the powerful and empowering rewrite – exactly as true religion should be… in appreciation of the equality and divinity within us all.

131. Thank you for exposing the evil that the foundations and pillars of the Catholic Religion are build on. So many people have been hurt and disillusioned by the hypocrisy of the misinterpretations presented by their clergy about God. The blame and emotional blackmail that is handed down to us is so far removed from the true love and caring that God gives us when we connect with, and build a relationship with Him that is based on truth. I have now developed this connection and relationship with God and feel his Kingdom is indeed inside of me, not in some cold, damp, impersonal building that is filled with cold, stone, and lifeless statues. There is no comparison!

132. So gorgeous it is to be reminded of the connection and knowing I had as a child, of being a son of God, as experienced in what you’ve shared here Vanessa thank you. Yet for me, it wasn’t until being reacquainted to the Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon that I have been able to revisit that place I knew so well, and to now appreciate it in full.

133. “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.” – very powerfully said Vanessa. I also grew up reciting the bastardised version of this truth in church that set up a belief that we were all at the ‘mercy’ of God, separate from Him and had to earn His love as we were all born sinners. I too had a different sense and experienced that God was within, but this feeling was never supported or confirmed. Through the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon I have discovered and re-claimed a true religion that celebrates and confirms the truth, that we are all equal Sons of God and that the Kingdom of God IS inside of us all equally so, as we are all inside Him in divine oneness. The Way of the Livingness is my religion and with joy in my heart I now walk knowing that I am from Heaven.

134. I love it, how you re-phrase the sentence “I’m not worthy…” Honestly, when I went to church as a child I had never understood, what this sentence really means. What I had heard was “I’m not worthy…”. That was the message I got out of this sentence. How could I forget, that I’m a son of god as everybody equally ?

135. “I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed”. This particular line from the Catholic mass still haunts me too. Thanks for sharing this Joel as it has helped me to realise why I still have a sense of unworthiness to be the Son of God. 18 years of attending masses, sometimes more than once a week, it’s no wonder that the feeling of unworthiness still arises. It is great to be aware of this conditioning and to know in my heart it is not true.

136. I love this line and what it implies “…it’s reliant on someone else waving the said wand” … so many religions place the power in someone else’s hands. When the only path to salvation (to use a religous term) …is through our connection to ourselves and the divinity we each hold.

137. I felt religion was alien and distant to me for many years until I learnt to live it in my everyday “No perfection required, just my turning up willing to be honest and allow and accept that I am a living Son of God.” I am now a religious person, I connect with my ‘innermost’ my inner heart and live from this place (without perfection). To nurture and celebrate that which we all are, that we are naturally equally divine feels true for me.

138. The systems I was brought up in was all based on a belief that kept telling me “you have to work very hard to be good and accepted” in all corners I looked, and whenever I heard “we are all Sons of God” it sounded good in the ear but I didn’t have a body to fully take that in as the truth so I kept saying “but maybe not me”. It is amazing to see how that has changed (or is changing) – huge thanks to the teachings presented by Universal Medicine that is all about Truth therefore exposing the untruth I had bought into all along, and is delivered by those who know and live as a claimed Son of God themselves.

139. What a powerful expression you have Vanessa. I can relate to every word you wrote in your amazing blog because I had a similar experience with the catholic church and all the disempowering beliefs it comes with. Until I read your words I was not aware that some of these beliefs are still in me – they are so subtle!!!!

140. Beautifully expressed Vanessa, and I love your powerful re-write of the dis-empowering phrase you identified. I was not raised catholic but I too took on dis-empowering beliefs. Feeling the expansion of the words ‘the love of God is within us’ at Universal Medicine presentations, and feeling the tangible expansion from esoteric healing sessions, I now have a real sense that I am an equal Son of God.

141. I can relate to so many things Vanessa what you are sharing with us. And the sentence “I’m not worthy…” I can remember very well, because as a child and teenager I was a “server” within the catholic church for 9 years. And when I look back at this time, I did this service without really having a deep connection to God and I didn’t know, that God is inside myself. Now I know I’m a son of God and that God is inside me, thanks to all the loving and divine reflections of the people, who supported me in the last years.

142. So awesome Vanessa you have hit the nail on the head here as the Kingdom of heaven does reside within and we each hold the key to bringing that out for humanity to feel. Love your deepening awareness, there is so much we can take away from what you express here.

143. Beautiful Vanessa, love how you claim being an equal Son of God. I didn’t grow up with this absurd claim from any of the institutional religions, but within a supposed esoteric context that was presenting ‘bastardised’ truth. Nothing presented to me made any sense and the people who were supposed to be the highest initiates appeared to be the worse, living a dogma that was not true. I gave up on it and just lived a party and beach life without caring about our origins. When I came to Universal Medicine I felt for the first time in my life that truth was told. Today I know that I am an equal Son of God and I am a religious person.

144. Vanessa when a person feels the energy behind something then they can’t be fooled. Universal Medicine has helped my to become aware that there are two types of energy that fuel everything. One supports us back to our union with God and the other takes us further away. I was totally unaware of this for most of my life and have to say adrift in a sea of the energy that took me further away from God. I am now very good at discerning the difference between the two different types of energy and it is clear that the lines from the Church that you quoted are red herrings, whereas the lines that you wrote are incredibly re connecting. So thank you.

145. Thank you for writing this blog Vanessa, and exposing the insidious nature of this so-called “prayer”. Such prayers as the one you describe will always keep us small and separate from God, whom we knew and connected with as children. Knowing we are all equal sons of God and we can speak to him any time any where feels very loving to me.

     1. Yes Bernadette communication with God can be constant if we are willing to listen, which is so different to the idea we need to say certain prayers and ‘be good’ in order to be listened to.

146. Wow Vanessa, you’ve exposed the evil that takes place and has taken place when a so-called religious institution absolutely bastardises the truth. Instead of us being full of God’s love innately so, we are empty of it needing to fill ourselves up. We are sinners instead of the beautiful beings we all are — we are bad people!! Is it any wonder the world is in a bit of a mess these days, given there are these widely held beliefs that we’ve all sinned to our eyeballs and that we’re on our way to hell? What a great set-up to distract us from the truth of who we are and let every single one of us, an equal son of God, live with the the love and joy that comes from knowing who we truly are.

147. “Never doubt that you are a true living Son of God.” How powerful. This melts my body’s hardness as ice melts under the sun.

148. Love this! I told the nuns when I was around 5 that I was an angel of God sent down to do Gods work, they laughed and told me that I could not be an angel, as I am a sinner. I so clearly remember this. I was confused as I knew I was an angel of God. I could see that the people that are here to do Gods work aren’t doing a good job of it.
     Serge Benhayon has taught what true religion is. And I know that I am a son of God and an angel! Thank you Vanessa for a great healing blog.

149. As children we know God intimately, feeling our connection within us and through nature. The Catholic Church has been one of the vehicles of creating doubt or disillusionment in us, to the point that many of us turn our backs on him. However there is much in life that also confirms our lack of worth and the need to be saved from outside. It is for us to discard these false beliefs, so that we can once again have that pure relationship with God.

150. Very Beautifully written Vanessa, It is beautiful to feel how god is inside us all, we all are connected and able to live the love god truly is. It’s not someone high up there deciding what we do and that we are not worthy of what he is bringing, we are equal.

151. Spoken like a true Priestess. Such discernment and with an in-born truth radar working well. This could be a clue why they don’t have female priests.

152. A very beautiful healing Vanessa from your expression, “I am worthy to receive me and to receive you in equalness: through my choices and self-love I shall be healed to then know the true love that I am – an equal son of God – at one with all, divinely so.”
     As you have astutely discovered the very harmful affect of the indoctrination of the Catholic Church’s, ‘I am not worthy’ line.

153. I was not brought up religious in the sense of going to church, only to attend weddings, christenings and funerals. But I somehow still took on the beliefs you write about here. Great to claim that we all are already the equal Sons of God.

154. This so beautifully expressed Vanessa. It is so common for us to take on these disempowering beliefs we are fed from a very young age, that keep us in separation from the truth. I love this reminder “No fireworks, just me being me allowing the love that is God and that is me to flow through me”.

155. It is really interesting to read this thread Gayle and Victoria, in part great to feel there were like minded souls on the other side of the world putting up the same protest but like you Gayle I haven’t pondered what impact the – being made to go through with something – had. I was very non compliant in my compliancy taking the mic i.e my confirmation name was Jordan from the soap opera on the tv falcon crest. But even in that mocking of the religion, this could have been completely avoided if my parents had honoured my feeling that this religion was not for me. Just yesterday my daughter informed me when she grows up she will eat gluten and whatever she wants. I couldn’t imagine her choosing that (knowing her body may disagree with her and let her know through different ways i.e. sore tummy etc.) but as a parent we are only a guide and role model and need to honour that role and free will. It feels great to let go of the energy of taking the mic from something I don’t agree with and rather observe it and accept that is what others chose. More gracious than my old way!

156. Wow that one line is stitching so many people up to feel they to have no self worth… I sure know which verse I would be saying as I went to bed.

157. Vanessa, you wrote this blog a while ago now and today is my first read of it. I have a catholic background too and can relate to all you have said, however I am left wondering what it was in me that did not walk away at 15.

     I kept my ‘catholic faith’ until well into my thirties. The impact of catholic church’s indoctrination has been significant on me as well. What has emerged for me reading your blog and many comments, is the truth that I allowed myself to be seduced by the fear of not measuring up and on a doctrine level, I spent my life seeing God as ‘waiting for his bad people to make mistakes’.

     I did not fight against. It did not enter my head or heart that I could leave it all behind!

     Instead I took it on as there being something wrong with me that I was not good enough and can still be caught in the ‘not good enough’ syndrome.

     I had a deep knowing of God from an early age that at times revealed itself so purely (especially when it peeped out in nature), that the indoctrination never ‘touched’ it.

     Like Gayle, in the earlier comments, this blog has stirred up some feelings for me to revisit and as I write I can feel the deep appreciation for the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom as expressed by Serge Benhayon.

     We are the image of God and I have known that all along… we make up God who is expressed through us. Any doctrine that attempts to water this truth, I can now sniff out pretty quickly! I will return to this blog. Thank you so much for expressing as you have Vanessa.

158. An awesome article Vanessa , your knowing of god was already there as a small child , and it allowed you to see through the church and its ways as a deviation from that truth that was already felt and known. It is terrible to hear the damage that has been done from this blog and so many comments . The guilt , shame and notion of not being enough as religious teachings with their systems and rituals seems so far from the true words of Jesus and other prophets throughout history .

159. Vanessa I love and resonate deeply with the line – ‘I was a deeply religious child’. It is something I am steadfastly returning to – my relationship with God is eternal, precious and ever deepening.

160. I love your re-written version of the lines for mass – how much more amazing would it be to say those words instead of something that was obviously written to make us feel small and insignificant. I would go to hear a sermon read by you any day! Thanks for sharing your awesome story.

161. I like your comment ‘is it possible that this is all set up to keep us small, to doubt ourselves?’
     We can look back and see how Catholicism came about and who commissioned the bible to be written hundreds of years after the events. ‘Is it possible?’ seems to me to be very possible and surely it is well worth reviewing? Yes, we may look at bit silly having practised a manipulating religion for such a long period of time but surely it’s better than continuing with a way that keeps us from knowing a true relationship with God for many more thousands of years?

162. I love coming back to your blog Vanessa it reminds me of how much we have been led astray by the church and the hypocrisy that surrounds many of the teachings. This is why I like your words here “This is not a finger wagging exercise but it is an offering to allow us to take responsibility for our part in allowing ourselves to give up, to accept less than the glory that we truly divinely are.” I can really feel these words and the implications of what giving up means.

163. I went to a catholic primary school and attended mass each week and was taught by nuns. My family did not attend church on Sunday. I remember the statement from each mass that Vanessa speaks of and also went through confirmation at about age 10 or 11 never really knowing what it meant except that we took on another name and it had to be a saints name. With the ritual of confirmation you had a ‘sponsor’ and this for me was my best friends mother. I remember my best friend telling me that her mother had told her that you are ‘not worth anything if you cannot give God one hour on a Sunday to attend mass’. Looking back I took on this feeling of unworthiness. With the help of Universal Medicine practitioners I have been able to feel the shame that these comments impose and how untrue they are.

164. Thank you Vanessa for the in depth sharing of your experience in the Catholic Church. I was encouraged to attend a Protestant Sunday School when I was about 5 years old and did so until I went to High School. I enjoyed the fellowship group that was attached to our Church that I joined at age 15. I chose not to attend Bible studies, it didn’t feel right to me at the time. By my mid twenties I had family commitments and found it hard to attend Church regularly. I was annoyed by the fact that many of us were singled out in different ways and made to feel we were not making a commitment to the Church and therefore to God. This didn’t help my self confidence and therefore feelings of self worth either. I did not agree with the way the Church was trying to have too much say in our lives and the way we lived including Baptism, and the rules and regulations around this at the time. I did speak out to a couple of Ministers about my concerns in these areas. It wasn’t until I was introduced to Serge Benhayon’s teachings of The Way of The Livingness that the world started to make sense to me and I felt at home.

165. Thank you for sharing this Vanessa. In our lives we have all allowed our true feelings to be overridden by those claiming authority – religious, educational, business. This blog has inspired me to look at these areas in my life and examine why I have allowed this. No blame, no self-criticism, just full responsibility and a willingness to deal with my stuff!!

166. very beautiful Vanessa, And its indeed awfull how the church is making us feel less than we truly are, I can feel now that we are all equal sons of god, and have the responsibility to live in a way to support this connection to everyone and with god.

167. Awesome blog Vanessa, thank you for sharing. Our lives have been a path that we have been guided through by our soul, once we have accepted true religion our past experience becomes an awareness, once expressed becomes a great service to humanity. Delivering the truth as lived clears a path through ideology and wakes those that had been in its clutches.

168. In time the lines from mass will drop away and the writings of a true religion will be known. I look forward to this time, a time when the false pillars of religion finally fall away.

169. Vanessa your blog will ring true for many people. The Catholic religion had a huge impact on my life for a very long time. Through its teachings I carried guilt and deep hurt but Universal Medicine has been a huge help in riconciliating me with God.

170. “I now know God doesn’t hold a grudge.” Lovely quote…I did not do a huge amount of searching in terms of organisations, I did want to feel the truth for myself again and I did a lot of looking inward, but I was just so hard on myself that what I was searching for alluded me. The lovely notion of being loving with yourself, to connect to love, to connect with God, that Serge Benhayon shared with me and all, has been so supportive, it has reinstated a connection that I too had many years ago when I was a child. It is a feeling I am familiar with, but can feel I walked away from…but as you say, there is no grudge. Thank you.

171. Vanessa you are a total authority to speak about religion thank you for this illuminating blog. Gold. .

172. Absolutely Gail, knowing God has nothing to do with going to church, nothing to do with another or outside identifications. Knowing God is a simple uncomplicated Livingness that is inside us all equally. Thank you Vanessa great blog on how fooled we are as a society that allow such depth of misinformation to parade around as being good and doing charitable works, when blind Freddy can feel the way the church and its forever changing interpretations of the bible, is not there to truly serve humanity.

173. Thank you Vanessa for writing this. It is a healing to read and I felt I could let go of the feeling that I am not worthy of Gods Love. More so I can feel I am the Son of God in Full.

174. What an amazing awakening to be able to stand back and see the entire situation for what it truly was / is and the harm being served daily. Yet not an ounce of emotion or blame is there to be found in your blog. I love your version of what should be said in mass Vanessa it felt lovely to read thank you 🙂

175. Hello Vanessa, I also grew up in a Catholic enviroment however I couldnt connect to the religion, I could feel absolutely no truth in the religion and I pretty much just went through the motions.

176. As you Vanessa, I have been feeling the devastating effects of that sentence, which in spanish is said:” I am not worthy that you enter my house, but one word from you will be enough to heal me.” So I always had the feeling of being less, of not being good enough to have Christ in my house (my body). And the worst thing is that that attitude is encouraged, considered highly and even glorified, the false humbleness, the superreduction of oneself and one´s love and power. It is beautiful your sharing of your reconnection to the divinity as the most natural way in you, as you were as a child.

177. Thank you Vanessa, the ideals and beliefs of the Catholic Church and the unworthiness they instil in us runs deep. Even for those who consider themselves not to be catholic or had little or no involvement in the church.

178. Thank you Vanessa, in the second paragraph you name the age you were when you gave up on being a son of god. This is powerful and inspiring. You have made me stop and ask myself, when did I give up too? What were the circumstances that lead me to that decision which I have had to work so hard to recover from?

179. I grew up in a catholic village and I heard this line so often. Reading how you have rewritten the line cuts through the layers of lies like a sword of Truth, Vanessa. Ground-breaking.

180. To feel the smallness we have chosen to be kept in is a revelation. To have recited these prayers as sacred text is so sad. Every prayer designed to keep us small. Many prayers telling us how sinful we were. I also made the decision to not allow these priests or anyone to stand between me and God. I am a son of God, equal to all my brothers.

181. Powerful blog ! The false religious statements are often ingrained so that people are not even concious about their effect on their lives and beliefs. You offer here to break this up, to think fresh and to come back to a natural feeling that most have as a child: that I am part of something bigger, part of a natural divine order, as we feel it.
     Universal Medicine offers great teachings and lived experiences of being a Son of God from inside ourselves.

182. Thank you so much for writing this blog, Vanessa. I too was raised in a catholic environment and reading your words I can feel a stirring of immense proportions that is going to take time to allow to surface, nominate and address. I have addressed and cleared some of what has impacted me by being raised in the catholic church but having read your blog I can feel that there is so much more to address and that I will come back to your words time and again as I continue to shed the insidious beliefs that were forced upon me and that I took on.

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