Recently, when browsing at a local bookshop, I purchased the “Little Book of Elvis in the Movies,” a book covering Elvis Presley’s very successful career in films. This led me on an investigative mission to try and understand the legend, the man, and finally, in his last quarter, you could say the tortured soul, who died in such a poor way, in total contrast to the charismatic, handsome, energetic, beautiful man that was seen and witnessed in his many years of movies and public performances. He was not named ‘The King’ without reason, and he definitely changed the shape of music with his cool dance moves on stage. “A white man that could sing and dance like a black man,” as quoted by media at the time.
So what leads Elvis, or any of us for that matter, to a path of disregard, self-abuse and into a place of no return?
We have seen so many successful stars not able to handle their light and power, and then make choices that eventually lead to their demise. The most obvious choices often relate to substance abuse through drugs, alcohol and food, but are they any different to many of us who rely on coffee to get through our day or who eat to hide, numb or bury our emptiness, sadness or unresolved hurts?
Are they any different to many of us who consider ourselves responsible providers, who drink at night to console, reward or numb ourselves after another long day at work providing for our family? Haven’t we all been there in some way or can relate to this?
Binge eating was something I started doing from a young age as a way of stopping myself from feeling. Feeling what, you may say? Feeling my sadness of not being met, feeling my fragility and tenderness as a boy, then as a man, in a world that left, or felt like it left, no space for this part of me, especially once I was corralled into the educational system. Not feeling safe to be myself, the sensitive soul, in case I was attacked. bullied or criticised at home or school. Feeling the tension of living in a world that didn’t feel right.
I remember as a child waking up and feeling so warm, full of me, yummy and safe in my warm bed and desperately wanting to be able to go everywhere in the safety of my bed. Then feeling the dread of having to leave this safe space to go out into the world and negotiate my way through the harshness, disconnection and loveless routines that were daily life. I was particularly sensitive to the way people acted and I could feel where people and l were at. This in turn caused me to harden and become quick and sharp with my tongue, to attack or be on the defensive so as to avoid attack. I also learned to not speak up, to keep my head down and calibrate what I said/did so as not to get the attention of judgment, jealousy or contempt.
Basically, I was always measuring what was safe to express. Therefore there was this lack of true expression or being able to show the real me that created tension in my body, to shut down and to calibrate myself to the situation, instead of being able to hold myself in joy and love in my body, regardless of what was happening out there.
So when it came to meal times, mainly at home where I could eat more (the little skinny dude), I would on purpose choose to overeat to the point of feeling stuffed or bloated. That way I wouldn’t feel any tension, or anything for that matter. Drugged and pacified, I would then proceed to go into comfort/relax mode. Before school, I would at times eat 6 -12 Weetbix to try and bloat or numb down tension or reaction. I also remember going to “all you can eat buffets” and just stuffing myself, and as an adult I would eat up to 7 plates of food. Pacified and numb, I would then have to lie down for hours with my body under load, trying to digest the gluttonous affair. It’s crazy looking back at what I did to not feel life.
As I became an adult, I then followed on with drugs and alcohol as a way to numb myself on a daily basis after a day of work in the world.
So why is it that, we as a society who have often loved so much the life and times of people like Elvis Presley, not to mention many other stars and individuals who have died due to suicide, don’t take heed and do a forensic study into what happened with them?
Why have they chosen to end their lives so prematurely in a way that is often in total contrast to what they, whether as stars or not, were portraying earlier on? It just doesn’t make sense, hence the need for all of us to dig deeper into why this is a regular occurrence with stars in particular, but also with everyday people. Saying “the person had depression,” is not a good enough reason to me because it says nothing and offers no insight into what may have been going on.
From what I have learnt from myself and, after slowly trying to go deeper, it is our hurts, or us in reaction to our hurts, that compounds the problem. The bits that we don’t want to look at, left unresolved, can then come back to bite us as manifested negative and self-harming behaviours.
The presentations and the healing courses from Universal Medicine, working with others in group work in a supported environment of like-minded people, not judging each other, have been very helpful for me in learning to understand that we are not our hurts and that it is a choice that we make to go into them, and then to act or live out our lives through our hurts. Most of us have been hurt and carry the scars from being abused – from the smallest incident to the most hideous cases like bashings, rape etc. And so the vast majority of us are all carrying hurts of some kind. The funny thing is, neither the world nor the people in it are perfect. Most of the time, most of us are acting out of our hurts so we then have the tendency to go around hurting each other without even being aware that we are doing it!
Now bring in our beliefs and ideals, our quality of connection to our selves/others and responsibility – the game changer that shows us that it is always a choice how we act toward another. I am learning that if another didn’t help to create a hurt we are carrying, why meet them or come at them carrying or wielding a hurt? This only creates more hurt and disharmony between us.
I feel blessed and have to pinch myself at times for choosing the journey back to love, to my innermost, and for making the choice to reconnect with the Ancient Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine as, like Elvis, I could have easily chosen to go the other way many years ago.
I was at a serious crossroads, lonely and in my hurts from a relationship breakdown and in reaction, ready to re-invent myself, put on my old blue suede shoes for another round of the glamour and illusion of sex, drugs and rock and roll. This would have, no doubt, led to my demise or to a lesser, more lost version of myself as the outcome. This time around I chose a less glamorous, but far more fulfilling, healing journey – to come back to me. It started with Esoteric Healing sessions and reading the Esoteric Ancient Wisdom books (the ‘purple books’ by Serge Benhayon). They were like a life raft in a stormy sea.
Although far from perfect, my life became a wonderful unfoldment with always so much more to learn, as long as I stayed open and allowed myself to feel my way. So it is choice by choice, day by day that I am bringing myself back.
I am forever the student of my own livingness, which encompasses not only myself, but all people everywhere – including stars like Elvis.
Written in appreciation of what has been presented by life, by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the practitioners and Universal Medicine student body for all their evolving love and light.
By Greg, Australia
Relationships – why we should come clean about our deepest hurts
We are not our hurts
Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts
517 thoughts on “Elvis, Me, and All of Us”
“we are not our hurts and that it is a choice that we make to go into them” These days I know this to be true without a doubt. Going into a hurt I feel reduced and small and completely not me. The thing is, hurts and feeling hurts is addictive and sought after because the greater hurt is the bruised pride when it comes to admitting all of human life has been for nothing.
Thanks Greg, taking the path of no return completely deviates us from our evolution and the fact we will re-incanate, so we are set up to not fully appreciate the energetics that life is all about.
The despair and disappointment as an adult is there because we find that nothing fills the ache, pain and emptiness we feel no matter how successful or not at whatever we do. There is always a feeling of something missing, this is particularly so when one is successful by societal terms. What is missing is our connection to our Soul and I cannot express in words enough my gratitude to Serge Benhayon for showing me, and so many others, that this is what we are missing and the Way to reconnect again to it.
“Not feeling safe to be myself, the sensitive soul, in case I was attacked. bullied or criticised at home or school.” I would say this is equally true for girls and boys, women and men. I know growing up there was a bias towards the false male image of stoic, tough and untouchable, and this was also communicated as the ideal for girls because males were superior. Imagine that, girls being pressured to be boy-like, and it wasn’t even a true image of males either. What a mess! There is such simplicity in letting people be and then appreciating them exactly as they are, because the richness of who we each naturally are can never be compared with the constriction of an ideal or image.
That would be amazing if we let people be true to themselves, and appreciated them for what they are in truth.
As you got older Greg it’s like you graduated from the abuse of food in your childhood to the abuse of drugs and alcohol as an adult. We must pay attention to patterns like this so we can learn to break them in order to prevent others around us and our future generations getting caught in that same abusive cycle.
If there is abuse towards oneself, especially as a child, it should be a warning to those around that something is disturbing the child or person.
When we live feeling that we are our hurts/our hurts are us we become victim to them. They become the source from which our life unfolds and we thereby have the excuse/reason not to take responsibility for our actions. We hide in our hurts. When we realise, acknowledge and accept that we are not our hurts, they are instead something that happens to us, can be uncomfortable as we also come to understand that what happens to us is the consequence of our choices and actions. However, in this understanding we reconnect to our power as we realise we created our hurts and therefore so too we can create a life without hurts.
It is not unusual to hear of celebrities and idolised stars feeling alone and unfulfilled and too many have ended their lives. The so called picture perfect life is not what it appears.
The lack of fulfillment of celebrities etc. is a powerful reflection that there is more to life than temporal success.
People can, and do present a front, that everything is great, or at least fine, surely it’s time to start being truthful about what we feel, what is going on.
Finding that there is a part of us that is untouched by all the drama and difficulties you describe has been the key for transformation as it shows that everything else is malleable and not part of who we are.
We seem to have this habit of only wanting to see the ‘positive’ to keep a picture looking pretty, or fit within our belief. And we create a play within a play only to distance ourselves from the purity and truth of what we are, and deep inside we know this is not it, and lying to ourselves gnaws us from inside.
“Feeling the tension of living in a world that didn’t feel right.” Absorbing the energy of the world around us we lose our sense of direction, but when we come back to our inner stillness we have our hand on the rudder.
Feeling that tension can lead to the overeating, or other numbing ways in an attempt not to feel.
To look at our hurts and learn to let them go has been a powerful teaching that Serge Benhayon has always presented on. When we commit to letting our hurts go we discover there is more space for love.
Looking at and letting go of our hurts is a key step in returning to being love.
Food can have a hugely numbing effect and this can be seen especially today with the ever increasing rates of obesity worldwide – we are not coping with the life we have created for ourselves and keep trying to stuff it down rather than be honest about what is really going on.
The hurts we carry imprint on us to be in a movement that is the exact opposite of what the hurts need in order to heal.