Living From Love, Not Hurt

I recently attended a Livingness 1 Workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine. I have attended this and other workshops previously and, whilst each one has held an abundance of light bulb moments, the clarity and understanding in me from this particular one has been exceptionally profound.

I realised that the hurts I’ve absorbed through false beliefs of my ‘failings’ as a woman, mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, employee and neighbour, are how I have encased myself in a seemingly impenetrable suit of armour, burying my natural essence underneath. These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.

Our Essence, you see, is the love we all seek, searching all corners of the globe, stuck in the belief that it’s ‘out there’: in some hidden valley, on top of a mountain, in the deepest ocean, or with a partner, having children, a new body at the gym, a better house or car, a new pair of shoes, that ‘must have’ dress, or chocolate bar after chocolate bar. When all this fails to fulfil, we have turned our quest to outer space, sure that it’s ‘out there’, as deep, deep down, we all know it’s somewhere.

But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer. Take the most amazing sunset/sunrise you have ever seen, the most delicious food you have ever eaten, the joy felt looking into a new love’s eyes, the miracle of childbirth or simply the joy of a child and multiply it by a gazillion… that is our esoteric Essence.

In my experience, the steps to let go of this searching and allow what is inside to flourish have begun with my relationship with myself. This is not something that I have suddenly ‘got’ and am now sitting pretty. This is my life on a daily basis, how I am with myself in each and every moment. It’s about the choices I make when I get out of bed in the morning and how I place my feet on the floor; when I feel what to eat instead of eating what I feel, when I choose what to wear based on what will support the gorgeousness of me and when I connect with everyone, not from my hurts but from my Essence.

Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.

As I went back to work yesterday, full of the knowing of my Essence and the beauty of connecting with people in this way, it wasn’t long before I bought into someone’s pain and allowed it to trigger my own. Almost immediately I began thinking of foods I could eat (mainly the sugary or salty kind) that would allow me to block out the feeling of yuckiness that had invaded my body as I bought into the “it’s all too hard” mentality.

But you know what? It isn’t! The commitment to drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon as well as other Universal Medicine Practitioners, students and friends, I have discovered more of what innately lives inside me. It has always been and continues to be here for me to choose it each second of my unfolding day.

There is no Pollyanna approach here, simply the reality of the truth as presented by Serge Benhayon.

By Julie Ferguson, Brisbane, Complementary-to-Medicine Practitioner

Related Reading:
We are not our Hurts
True Relationships – Being Love First, not Demanding it from Others
The Power of Healing Our Hurts

621 thoughts on “Living From Love, Not Hurt

  1. Living from love is not trying to be anything for anyone, but allowing ourselves to be the essence of who we are. It’s being me – simply that – and for you to be you.

  2. Thank you Julie. Your sharing makes me realise that if we are really feeling the impact and hurt of not living who we truly are and having lived the exact opposite, and feel so bad about it, we would be going ‘No more’ – but for us to carry on being more identified with what we are not, there must be some attraction there, and that I feel is where we are being asked to be deadly honest about – whether we really want to evolve.

  3. Seeing our hurts and issues as excuses that we use to justify our holding back and holding on to previous patterns – this is a game changer, as in – the game is up. We all get hurt but it is totally up to us how long we choose to hold on to these hurts and use them to justify our subsequent actions and reactions. We can be free of our hurts when we are ready to choose to let them go – when we’re so full of what we can feel on the inside that we don’t need anything else to identify ourselves with or by, in life. Slowly we re-learn to relate to life through the essence, the core, of our being and who we are, and not what we have done, or has been done to us.

  4. I like how you say instead of putting energy into things like judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison we can instead commit to being more loving with ourself and equally with others.

  5. The more we choose to deepen our relationship with ourselves the more we connect to the love and wisdom in our essence so that instead of absorbing life and going into emotional reaction we are able to observe and discern what is at play and respond as needed.

  6. I love how you describe developing your relationship with yourself as a foundation to building your connection with love and how this is about how you are in your life on a daily basis and not just a one-off moment.

  7. Hmm.. a profound teaching is shared. To live love not from hurt. That means we need to go a little deeper with ourselves, and all individually feel our love inside us (inside our heart), and then possibly feel what is underneath the layers we have created to cover this up. Then we can open it up to share with all others, including going deeper within ourselves.

  8. It’s quite a concept to consider our commitment to all manner of self harming activities, and the giving up on living our essence (the love we are within), when we really just need to shift what we are committed to.

  9. I feel that much of life’s woe’s are due to reactions from us to the way things are here, ways that are not always so, if at all loving. And this hurts us deeply, as we are essentially all naturally very sensitive. It can be a life’s challenge therefore in learning how to live with our sensitivity in full being expressed, and not from the reaction.

  10. When we are hurt we are in protection, this protection is a barrier to us experiencing any true connection with another – this hurts more.

  11. It was good to re-read this blog again to remind me that I am in the right place being the right person and everything that may appear negative is a tester to see where I am in my own Esoteric essence. Everything I am presented with is asking for me to be more, especially from the inside to reflect out to others.

  12. While the whole world spends all time, dedication and effort in finding “It” outside of them – and I was one of them – I now dedicate all of my effort, dedication building that connection to my essence and letting go of what is clouding it. Simple but not easy, but once you have tasted your essence, there is no turning back.

  13. ‘This is not something that I have suddenly ‘got’ and am now sitting pretty. This is my life on a daily basis, how I am with myself in each and every moment. It’s about the choices I make when I get out of bed in the morning and how I place my feet on the floor; when I feel what to eat instead of eating what I feel, when I choose what to wear based on what will support the gorgeousness of me and when I connect with everyone, not from my hurts but from my Essence.’ A great reminder it is never about a quick fix, a magic pill or looking outside of ourselves for the answer but instead simple and practical choices that we make moment by moment day by day to return to our essence and who we truly are.

  14. Awesome, showing the downfalls that we have deliberately put into place, knowing that it is not what we need.. only a distraction away from that unending love that resides inside.

  15. I too have searched out there instead of within and even though I haven’t perfected it, I discover more and more about these false beliefs and question them, are they the truth or another falsity handed down to me?
    The more I do this, the more I feel the true essence emerging through, I’m learning to observe more of this within myself, then it assists me to bring understanding in others but also reflect this to them without imposing.

  16. It is a great realisation to understand how we imprison and encase our natural way of being to live far lesser than the truth of what we know within when we take on ideals and beliefs and live in emotional reaction to life.

  17. Wow Julie, you have really turned your life around. Instead of drinking from the muddy polluted waters of the stagnant lake, you have committed to drinking from the pristine font of the waters of Life.

  18. When we begin to explore our relationship with who we are within, the love we are in essence, we soon realise that it requires no effort at all to be ourselves, and in fact can feel how it requires much more effort to resist and deny it.

    1. Carola, I love how you say how when we live from love, ‘we soon realise that it requires no effort at all to be ourselves.’ The essence we are can support that ease and flow.

  19. When we bury our hurts we end up living a life of protection in order not to feel the hurts we have, yet all the time we do this we are stopping ourselves from living the love we truly are, and when we let go of those hurts and live from our essence we wonder why we held on to them for so long.

  20. Our esoteric essence, is the divine part in us that is indestructible, no matter how much drugs we use, alcohol we drink, to cover it. Finding it and building a solid relation to it, is the trick of life.

  21. “Our Essence, you see, is the love we all seek,” And we have all been seeking in the wrong place until we come back to feel the love of our inner-most essence.

  22. I have come to the understanding that hurts that we hold onto or have buried, keep us locked away from who we truly are. And it is through healing these hurts that we have ingested, that allows us to reconnect and feel the true beauty of who we are, and from there, start the journey back to who we truly are at last.

  23. I realised the other day, that we all have this divine essence, and that it naturally consistently expresses divinity. This constant expression is our true nature. By going into, for example, is just overlaying this constant expression of divinity, but is not who we are and just a moment of overshadowing our constant natural expression. Felt like a big relieve to realise this.

  24. I love the title of this blog and how it reflects the simplicity of the choice we can make every day and how deeply this can impact how our day is and how we are with others.

  25. ‘Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.’ Absolutely the relationship with ourselves is crucial to how we are with others and investing time in exploring and falling in love with ourselves may not be currently the accepted norm but has most definitely supported me to let go of my many layers of protection and build loving and confirming relationships with others in many areas of my life.

  26. Julie thanks for this ‘ouch moment’
    “These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.”
    I personally get so much from reading all the blogs that are published because there is so much to re learn about how we hide from our own innate essence making all sorts of excuses as to why we cannot take responsibility to look after ourselves and instead indulge in foods and liquids that further the indulgence and numb our bodies so that we cannot feel the harm we do to them. Why is it we withhold our natural birthright from ourselves and instead look to other to supply what we won’t give to ourselves? This makes no sense to me

  27. A brilliant exposure of that fact that we seem to have our commitments the wrong way round. As you say Julie If we can be so “committed to drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.”

  28. Letting go of chasing the dream/ideals outside yourself began for me by being humbled by my body which could no longer take this kind of treatment. It then was a slow process of building care for myself back into my norm, like a parent caring for a child. It keeps evolving now but as Julie says, it always has its foundation in your relationship with yourself.

  29. “Our Essence… is the love we all seek.” So simple and profound in their beauty of telling a gigantic truth, these words are a gift to read.

  30. While living from hurt rather than Love there will be conflict and inevitably violence in the home, which then spread out into national and global. It is vital for the health and evolution of the human race that we deal with our hurts and heal them.

    1. It is vital, I agree Lyndy – as otherwise we are continuing to allow abuse to be considered ‘normal’ which as we can see by the state of outplay and the nature of our relationship in the world today is it not, nor is it serving us well at all.

      1. Absolutely Carola. Over 400 years ago, Shakespeare presented the first performance of ‘The Taming of the Shrew’ which magnified the battle of the sexes, the accepted norm of domestic abuse, to the view of an Elizabethan audience. It is gobsmacking that we are still engaged in this wounding, damaging drama.

  31. Many of us tell ourselves we are no good at commitment and yet we are master of it. It’s just what we have been committing to that’s caused the problem e.g. overeating, being emotional, unmotivated, lacking self worth, drive, drugs etc… This shows me that there is no commitment issue – just a matter of choosing to commit to different things that support e.g. being caring and loving, eating well, rest etc. instead of those things that don’t.

  32. When we bury our hurts we make them appear bigger than they truly are and in holding onto them instead of letting them go we reconfigure ourselves away from our natural and loving expression.

    1. yes when we don’t deal with our hurts then they take over and before we know it, everything we do seems to come from these hurts. But this is a simple inversion of the truth that we have an essence, which is simply and purely love, and not one ounce of hurt resides there.

    2. Linda it is a really good point that I hadn’t considered, that by not dealing with our hurts they can appear much bigger than they are, kind of like the household chores I put off that I complete very quickly, but the longer I put it off the bigger it seems.

  33. Julie thank you for my ‘ouch’ this morning
    “These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.”
    From this sentence I have to be honest enough to say to myself that I am playing this game too. And this is also a huge exposure of the type of energy we are using to keep ourselves small, rather than admit there is a grandness that we all are evolving back to and this is a completely different energy that we are not logging into.

  34. This is a pretty cool revelation ‘These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence’. As we as this ‘But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer’ Gosh if we came to truly understood these things alone WOW what a difference in the world it would be. And all of this comes down to ‘how we are with ourselves in each moment’.

  35. I love the commitment of waking up and just being up for life, knowing there are a lot to deal with but we are ready for it, because dealing with everything allows us to be in life, not away from it or on the periphery. Committing to life deeply we truly live on earth and to not needing to be here one day.

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