Living From Love, Not Hurt

I recently attended a Livingness 1 Workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, founder of Universal Medicine. I have attended this and other workshops previously and, whilst each one has held an abundance of light bulb moments, the clarity and understanding in me from this particular one has been exceptionally profound.

I realised that the hurts I’ve absorbed through false beliefs of my ‘failings’ as a woman, mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, employee and neighbour, are how I have encased myself in a seemingly impenetrable suit of armour, burying my natural essence underneath. These hurts, I have further come to understand, have been nothing more than excuses to justify not living in the fullness of this Essence.

Our Essence, you see, is the love we all seek, searching all corners of the globe, stuck in the belief that it’s ‘out there’: in some hidden valley, on top of a mountain, in the deepest ocean, or with a partner, having children, a new body at the gym, a better house or car, a new pair of shoes, that ‘must have’ dress, or chocolate bar after chocolate bar. When all this fails to fulfil, we have turned our quest to outer space, sure that it’s ‘out there’, as deep, deep down, we all know it’s somewhere.

But it isn’t ‘out there’ – it’s inside us, solidly, continuously, bigger and grander than anything this world has to offer. Take the most amazing sunset/sunrise you have ever seen, the most delicious food you have ever eaten, the joy felt looking into a new love’s eyes, the miracle of childbirth or simply the joy of a child and multiply it by a gazillion… that is our esoteric Essence.

In my experience, the steps to let go of this searching and allow what is inside to flourish have begun with my relationship with myself. This is not something that I have suddenly ‘got’ and am now sitting pretty. This is my life on a daily basis, how I am with myself in each and every moment. It’s about the choices I make when I get out of bed in the morning and how I place my feet on the floor; when I feel what to eat instead of eating what I feel, when I choose what to wear based on what will support the gorgeousness of me and when I connect with everyone, not from my hurts but from my Essence.

Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.

As I went back to work yesterday, full of the knowing of my Essence and the beauty of connecting with people in this way, it wasn’t long before I bought into someone’s pain and allowed it to trigger my own. Almost immediately I began thinking of foods I could eat (mainly the sugary or salty kind) that would allow me to block out the feeling of yuckiness that had invaded my body as I bought into the “it’s all too hard” mentality.

But you know what? It isn’t! The commitment to drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon as well as other Universal Medicine Practitioners, students and friends, I have discovered more of what innately lives inside me. It has always been and continues to be here for me to choose it each second of my unfolding day.

There is no Pollyanna approach here, simply the reality of the truth as presented by Serge Benhayon.

By Julie Ferguson, Brisbane, Complementary-to-Medicine Practitioner

Related Reading:
We are not our Hurts
True Relationships – Being Love First, not Demanding it from Others
The Power of Healing Our Hurts

567 thoughts on “Living From Love, Not Hurt

  1. The Livingness 1 course by Serge Benhayon is my favourite course, it’s the foundation of love, the essence of who we all are that we have stepped away from, and returning to that essence is what brings the joy back into life. No flat screen TV, cocktail, overseas holiday, or other supposed apex of human living can fill the void of simply living our true selves again. What Serge is offering is truly a gift. A very beautiful course to attend.

  2. Serge Benhayon inspires by reflection that living from love in connection with our essence is how we are truly meant to live.

  3. There is a false belief that love is an on off switch. That a momentum of not living love for ages can just turn on a switch to suddenly have a body full of love. Whilst we can make a committed choice to return to love, love is a process and a forever unfoldment. Every choice of being love builds the next choice. Wanting ourselves to be perfect in love is recognition. Wanting to change things all for the best without wanting to deal with all of our past choices is impossible. Just start to be love and live this in our moments of awareness, rather than focusing of what we have missed in love. Be love. Be love. Be love.

  4. When we are driven by our hurts and imperfections we get taken on a ride of deception and distraction that fails to address the root cause of these same hurts.

  5. Embarking in developing our relationship with self is forever ongoing where there is no room for self-judgment or lack of trust only the absoluteness of our connection to the divine.

  6. Exactly Julie. The same dedication that we use to take ourselves off- track and then to hold ourselves together with can be used to choosing wisely and lovingly.

    1. Love your point Lyndy! Dedication can be strong for us, but we must ask – dedication to what? Dedication is certainly our strength when we follow the compass of our inner hearts.

  7. A gorgeous reminder of what love is and what is not. And so our hurts are just showing us where we have not been loving. Thank you Julie.. We need to come back to who we are and need to live the love instantly.

  8. Nothing in this world can deliver what we truly want – but it does a great job and giving us everything to distract us away from the fact that everything we seek is already within and we already are that everything.

  9. What I love about the Universal Medicine workshops is that it does not matter if we have attended them before or not, you still get so much out of them. I recall how I used to wonder why some people repeated workshops, and then one year I decided to repeat a Level 1 Healing workshop – I wanted to support any new people who were doing it for the first time. When I attended the workshop, even though I was somewhat familiar with the techniques we learned, because Serge presents each workshop from a different angle and with a different ‘twist’, it was like I was attending a brand new work shop – I was delighted! This is similar to Serge’s books where there are so many layers of blessings that one can receive – each time that you read a book of his, there is something different you get from them and it is almost like reading a brand new book!

  10. Like day and night, either living from hurt and reaction or the love that resides within, is the difference of how life looks like and one´s whole approach to and relationship with every aspect of life. As every type of energy seeks more of itself so does hurt look for confirmation to stay in the hurt and protecting attitudes and so does love, resonating with and magnetically pulling more love. The choice is ours, what posture do we take, in every moment another choice confirming itself.

  11. We have identified with our hurts so much that when we seek love we actually don´t know anymore what love truly is, ie the version of love we will settle for is not true love at all but an emotional substitute that will assure that we don´t need to open up again to what we actually are longing for as it would require to let the guard down and face our hurts, take responsibility and heal. As long as we are not willing to go there we will seek love outside and won’t be able to reconnect to the abundance of love within.

  12. It is a choice to either stay caught in hurt and reaction or to make love one´s priority. Just the intention of making life about love means a change of game. As soon as we turn towards love, love ‘turns towards’ us, ie. we give love permission to come our way and enter. Without such openness love is still at offer but we will tend to be blind and closed off and hence ignorant to it while we are focused on being protected and avoiding to get hurt.

  13. Julie what you say is so true, we put such effort into
    “drugs, alcohol, overeating, drinking caffeine, lack of exercise, judgment, blame, lack of self-worth, jealousy and comparison, with which I have excelled in my life, I now dedicate that same commitment to living every day from my innermost.”
    I like you I now give myself the commitment to really look after myself and take myself into consideration all the time and it’s paying off because I can actually feel this other part of me that is truly beautiful to feel and now, of course, I’m wondering why did I leave it until my 60’s to discover this other part of me as you say my essence. Well my excuse is that I didn’t meet Serge Benhayon until my 50’s and its taken 10 years to let go of my own resistance to me! How daft is that!!

  14. It is indeed simple and just needs dedication and an understanding that in each moment I can build and can deepen the relation with me. It is 180 degree
    turn around of my life where my primary focus is the connection with me, and then everything outside me, including the connection with my partner.

  15. Julie, this is so simple and very beautiful; ‘Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.’ This makes absolute sense and yet this is not something we commonly hear or read.

  16. You are right Julie – it isn’t ‘too hard’ at all for we work harder in not being this Essence in truth. And to be honest, even if it is hard work, it is worth every moment along the way.

  17. When we live from love we know deep within the quality we are with ourselves in each and every moment which deepens our awareness and connection to our inner knowing and our natural way of being.

  18. I know that when I carry my body in the hurts then I don’t see things clearly, I see them from the protection and so I see a skewed version of things not the reality of what is going on and then I often react or personalise things and am not able to read situations clearly as they are tainted by my hurts.

  19. What a simple, powerful and wise message; live from love not our hurts. As you have suggested Julie we do this by allowing what is inside, our true essence, to flourish.

  20. Good point – seeing we already have a commitment to all the things that undermine and sabotage us, how about committing to what is true and thus supports us to live joyfully and in harmony.

  21. Commitment is commitment, no matter what you choose to give your Will to, to focus on, good or bad, its commitment. I love that you have reminded me of this because sometimes I think things get too hard but I never gave up when I was trashing myself back in the old days and so, I should be extremely impressed that I am able to continue to heal, by choice, my old patterns.

  22. I love the Livingness 1 workshop, the last time I attended it felt so powerful to feel my own love and power of that love held deep within and feel the same love equally in everyone that attended the course that day, knowing that we as humanity are that love.

  23. The real, raw And honest truth – that we are everything we have ever sought for and that it is only a simple return to that, forget all the foolishness we have made life to be, and start to re-know this fact and you safe yourself very dearly and trustfully lovingly.

  24. How easily I forget sometimes the magnitude of my essence and how easy it is to come back to it each and every time, simply by choice.

  25. Hurts are strange things. On the one hand, they are like inbuilt automatic mechanisms that put us on alert in specific situations in the name of not wanting to repeat the experience of being hurt again. The problem with hurts is that this is not just it. Hurts are also what stops us to surrender to beauty and to love, hence to the beauty that life has on offer for us. It is a bit like hurts offer us a ‘safe path’ where we can build a distant relation with life: life cannot reach us and we cannot reach it either. When we choose hurts to dominate our movements we are saying no to life and to ourselves.

  26. Nothings ever too hard I am understanding, but that doesn’t stop me throwing in the towel and running for the cupboard sometimes. But recently I have started a self talk with myself that really did work when I was in a state, not wanting to feel something and going into a complete tantrum like a three year old. Was that everything in life moves, changes and shifts, even hurts are not as static or solid or rigid as we give the power of belief and illusion to them. In a years time what hurts me now will be a distant memory. And as I reminded myself of this, and asked what my responsibility was, the hurt and the issue dissipated. And this happens so often, once the hurt has been nominated, it moves and 10 minutes, 30 minutes later it’s like it never existed yet was being held onto for years.

  27. I love how you have presented that it always is a commitment whether that is with abuse or with love. We are having a relationship with something. And the question is what with.

  28. This is a very beautiful example that we haver already everything that we need, we only need to tap into it and stop chasing all the ideas and images about life that we have.

  29. ‘Being in a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with myself allows for a deeply loving, nurturing and honest relationship with everyone else.’ This is beautiful Julie; we make space for all our relationships to be more true when we build this deeper relationship with ourselves – such a powerful flow on effect that is felt by everyone.

  30. Living life from a place of how I feel despite what the world tells me I should be doing or what would make me accepted, is a choice from a strong connection with ourselves, this is our livingness of the love felt within and the process of expressing it honestly on the outside. We may feel a bit different from others, but our choice to live from a connected body is a reflection many are thirsting to see and feel.

  31. We certainly do put a lot of energy into things that don’t support us – as you have listed and shared here – I did all of those things not to feel what was missing and try to fill it with something else. But what a lot of energy that is that can go towards self loving choices.

  32. I have discovered that when I finally let go of my hurts that I had been using as a protection against the world that there was indeed something very special about me. This feeling in my body I could not deny. And I came to the understanding that this was my essence, that it had been there all the time but I had buried it underneath all the hurts which I had stacked on top and my hurts were what I had been concentrating on; they took all my attention. Reconnecting back to me, back to my essence, is like coming home after being away for a long time and feeling how familiar everything is and how natural it is to just be me.

  33. “In my experience, the steps to let go of this searching and allow what is inside to flourish have begun with my relationship with myself ” Letting go of the searching outside – something I too excelled in for many years – feels the simplest way to return back to the true me. ‘The kingdom of God is inside you’ is even a truth found in the bible.

  34. When we are willing to be honest with ourselves we will discover the truth, that who we are within is far greater that any hurt that we play into. When we live from our love we meet another in honor of the essence we all are within, as such offering true connection as we develop real relationships.

  35. To let go of the search outside ourselves requires us to become open to the possibility that it’s not out there but within us. This is a hard nut to crack with all the prince charming, happy ever after, we have been drip fed since birth. What started the turnaround for me was feeling a glimpse of my essence and knowing that was what I missed.

  36. Julie, a great blog highlighting that it is worth building a consistency in our daily choices to develop a solidness of connection with our essence and live from this true quality and foundation.

  37. Absorbing another’s emotions is poison to the body. Choosing to honour our selves and stay connected to our essence allows for us to observe what is going on and get a handle on the situation. From this understanding, staying with ourselves, we can maintain an equilibrium and not get caught up in the complications that could otherwise ensue. In a sense it is about getting ourselves out of the way and coming from a place of love.

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