by Joseph Barker, 35, Graphic Designer, Melbourne
I enjoy simplicity.
When I read something put simply, it is incredibly powerful. When I see a drawing that is simple, it touches me inside. It has a sense of strength. It is clear, direct and easy to understand. So why is it I have let my life get so complicated at times?
I have been working on my CV recently. It’s tempting to say so much – to lie or reinvent. It feels like this is because of fear, a fear of being rejected. To say ‘here I am’ in clear daylight seems risky. What if I am not ‘enough’?
I’ve realised when I am vulnerable and keep things simple, I feel like a true man: it’s not toughness or a roughness, but a simple strength of expression, a sense of being me.
When we speak simply there is no room to hide and that’s what I admire. When someone accepts a marriage proposal and simply says “yes”, that’s the most touching moment. If they said “well potentially, according to the time of day and how I feel in the morning and if subsection c of paragraph b of the marriage arrangement is met”, it would not be the same.
When I talk with other people I notice things get very complicated. It’s like I am scared to say “no”, so instead it becomes “well maybe another day if its possible, not that I don’t want to, you understand”. This is a game of politeness I play to keep things comfortable and safe. It’s a way to hide from other people’s anger and from feeling that I’m alone. But does this game actually stop me feeling pain? In my experience it does not. In fact, it causes all the strife. It stops me connecting to other people and gets in the way of life.
Is it possible we are scared of simplicity because it brings reality? Not to mention, responsibility and accountability? Is there something we are hiding from?
What if our life is simply a result of the choices that we make?
You can write a million books and speak a thousand words, but I have found a simple sentence can contain much more wisdom.
I feel life is simple. I’ve always known this in my heart, but it was not until I heard a presentation by Serge Benhayon in 2010 that I claimed this to be true. Through his simple presentations I’ve learnt that when I let my body speak, life gets simpler again. Just like a child when you ask them if they want to go to the pool. They don’t say ‘”let me get back to you, I may have time but you see I have a meeting in the sand pit planned and my schedule is fairly packed”. They just say yes or no. So it is with me. My body says no to alcohol. It says yes to being warm. It says yes to sharing how I feel and no to holding it inside.
Simplicity is a great indicator for me. It’s not a kind of perfection or an austerity, but a natural way to be I am learning to embrace. Complexity is always there waiting to come back in. But as I simplify my way, I find more joy comes along.
When I come to write how I feel about life, it really is simple. All the stories fade away. It all comes back to love and honesty – and being me today.
Simple eh?
“This is a game of politeness I play to keep things comfortable and safe.” Great line, it highlights how we can be invested in certain outcomes instead of being true to ourselves and to how we feel, and not controlling what comes next in relationships. I’ve recently been looking at how my focus is on how I want the outside world / people to be with me, as opposed to simply being me and focusing on staying connected to myself.
What a simple, yet super important focus to bring to your day Melinda, ‘simply being me and focusing on staying connected to myself.’
There is a tendency at times of sharing, more because if I just say nothing and stay present, this may feel uncomfortable for all that may be exposed by just observing. Also there is a belief that saying the right words makes you more worthy and important. It’s like to just be is not good enough….this is a lie, as we are and have always been powerful beings with a great clarity to feel and discern what feels right and what doesn’t. Deep down inside there’s no doubt about that.
It’s hilarious to read how we tend to justify what we feel inside is simple and clear. This exposes a lot about our need to be polite and not feel the tension that may arise in others when we are true. Love this sharing, there’s a lot here to ponder on. Thank you Joseph
“But as I simplify my way, I find more joy comes along.” So simple and the absolute truth.
I love your description of simplicity – unapologetic and transparent, and I am feeling how spacious I would feel if that was how I communicated with myself to begin with – no justification, no blah-blah-blah, just get on with life.
Trusting our body to show us the way keeps life simple.