Self-Love and Inspiring Love in Another

by Gina, Brisbane, Australia

Often self-help workshops can be perceived as being money-spinners. Well, recently, for $5, I attended a presentation about Women’s health. It explored how women’s often punishing schedules, juggling a myriad of roles including carer, mother, partner, employer or employee, are affecting their overall health and well-being. The presentation proposed the consideration to self-nurture and self-love as a possible means to address vitality, energy levels, and feelings of overwhelm.

The example given was to consider how much time we spend getting ourselves ready in the morning. I realised I got dressed, cleaned my teeth then brushed my hair whilst my car was warming up and the garage door was being opened. At the same time, I had been having huge issues with getting my 3 1/2 year old daughter dressed; she refused to do it herself or let someone help her. Recently, we’d been leaving the house with her in her pyjamas because it all just got too hard.

So I endeavoured in a gentle, no-expectations way, to get up earlier and shower and dress before starting to get breakfast and lunches under way. I would make sure my breakfast was ready with the children (and not gulped down 5 mins before I was leaving) – so I was fully dressed spending time with my kids – who had cooked the breakfast whilst I was finishing getting ready.

After a few days, I realised my daughter had instigated and dressed herself each morning of that week. WOW!  I could instantly feel the responsibility we have to show our children that by loving ourselves we in turn teach them personal responsibility and love towards themselves. They may have heard me many times speak with hollow words – “loving yourself is the most important thing” – but in that week they got to feel it for the first time and you could feel the increase in fun and joy in the home as a result.

A few weeks later we moved home. Our move was split over two days. On the first day, I got up and believed that because there was so much to be done there was not any time for a shower or any part of my new self-nurturing morning routine. So I put on some old, daggy appropriate ‘moving’ clothes and started my day. By 7am, I felt overwhelmed and had shouted at each member of my family for being lazy louts. My husband and I went about the day with very little dialogue and communication as a result of my rudeness. The next morning, I got up and this time paused before I launched into the day. Maybe I do have time for myself – so I showered, blow-dried my hair and dressed in clothes that were practical but still made me feel nice about myself. The day ran smoothly and we even had fun and a few laughs as we engaged with each other in our new home.

The presentation I was referring to above, that has supported me to connect to experiencing what I am sharing in this article, was delivered by Natalie Benhayon from Universal Medicine. I’ve attended quite a few events over the last four years. I could write much more about the benefits and support I have gained from attending these events but have chosen on this occasion to describe just one of them, because in its simplicity it encapsulates what Universal Medicine offers. For $5, I got to understand and feel how to embark on working with a self-esteem issue I’d previously paid psychologists high fees for, with little outcome.

The practical tools offered by Universal Medicine have supported me to discover for myself a way of living; to be able to manage and enjoy the busy lives we all have, and a chance to help me cope with and understand all the pain and hurt I see in other people’s lives and world eventsThe example I have described shows the essence of what Universal Medicine shares with us – by taking more consideration of ourselves and care to look after ourselves, we then invite the opportunity of bringing more love into our lives, which is shared and felt by those around us.

I am understanding as each day goes by, the more I am dedicated to loving myself, and making self-loving choices, the less drama there is in my life, the more flow there is in my life, the more joy my children express with and the calmer my husband is. I am experiencing the more loving I am with myself, the expression of all of those around me is also more loving.

This is never perfect for me, but just as I was able to reflect on what happened when I forgot to look after myself on the day of my move, each day I now reflect on how my treatment of myself has influenced the day’s events.

Thank you to Universal Medicine for sharing with me the simple science, that by my committing to bring self-love into my morning, my love-tank is filled and love is then what I have to offer to the day, and to all those with whom I share it.

347 thoughts on “Self-Love and Inspiring Love in Another

  1. I can very much relate to the ‘daggy’ clothes home day scenario… and it’s not even about the clothes, but how we prepare ourselves for the day. On weekends now, I find myself still going through the ritual of preparing for the day, with the same care and quality as if I was going to work. I may not wear the same clothes or put on as much make up – but I am still caring. This has made a huge difference to how I feel about myself.

  2. “The more I am dedicated to loving myself, and making self-loving choices, the less drama there is in my life, the more flow there is in my life.” I agree Gina, choosing to commit to truly loving and caring for ourselves builds a steadiness and quality of being that is inspiring to feel and allows us to connect to the flow and harmony of our body’s natural rhythm.

  3. Gina these blogs are an absolute inspiration as they are very real and practical experiences – such as, I did this and this happened and when I chose this I saw changes all around me!
    This week I realised how I don’t give myself time to stop and feel what I am still carrying and holding on to from work each day, before I go home to my family… so then I walk in the door in the same energy as I was at work and start working again, cleaning, organizing and getting things done. If I’ve had a tense and highly demanding day at work, I start being demanding at home and to my family to get the job done. I now can see that even giving myself 5 mins or even going for a walk supports me to let go of anything that is not me that I’ve taken on from the day and to start afresh. It completely changes my car ride home, how I greet my children and cook dinner!

  4. When we commit to building self-love as our foundation and we make the space to deeply nurture it builds a steadiness and quality of being that is inspiring and deeply felt by others.

  5. I love how you’ve shared Gina that the more dedicated you are to making self loving choices, the less drama and more flow there is in your life. The more I commit to looking after and nurturing myself, the more committed I am to life, and the easier and simpler life becomes.

  6. The story of your 2-year-old daughter’s behavior changing with you changing is truly touching, bringing more care to ourselves is the best way to communicate more care to others. Its easy to forget this when you are dealing with adults of work colleges, its easy to focus on what is seemingly the problem and push what you feel needs changing onto them. The best way is to self reflect and deepen our own care.

  7. What is the true purpose of self love, of devoting oneself to rhythms and rituals that focus on self care, and why does the devoted esoteric student make it such a large part of their life? Simple. Most of our focus as human beings is on what in outside of us. And not only do we focus on the external for our happiness and sense of identity, but equally allow what is outside of us to affect us detrimentally. And so we become a pawn to the world. As such, we have lost connection with the simplicity and magnificence of being – with ourselves, and as such with our true divine nature. But developing not only presence with what we do, but the right quality of presence, we start to build a foundation back to an energetic state of being known as fire. And that is nothing mysterious, although admittedly foreign to most of us, and so outwardly it would appear that way at first. But in time, and with dedication, by starting with being gentle in your movements, and progressively becoming more self-loving in your ways, you develop a way of moving throughout the day that ignites that which lays dormant within – gradually, slowly. This is a process however that cannot be done on its own, such is life, and so often support from another who has already reignited their own fire within is often required. There is nothing wrong with that. And that is where the esoteric modalities play their role in the scheme of things.

  8. Gina you show beautifully how making space for ourselves in the morning to shower, dress, prepare breakfast, do whatever we need to do at a steady pace builds a nurturing foundation for the day and this flows into everything else we do.

  9. Self loving choice bring a big difference to our lives, what you write here that it brings space into our lives. Bringing us true joy and a foundation of love for our day.

  10. The $5 is more then great value for money Gina and what you give an example of here we got for free, thank you. As we look at our day or at any point in our life we have many things to appreciate or we can have many things we need to do or we can have nothing to do and life is worthless. What changes our view into each of these and why is it a different view for some and not for all. What is the piece that changes the view and makes life about something else other then the ‘do’. As you are saying here Gina, taking care, taking deep care of ourselves as the forefront to everything else.

  11. Getting up early and dedicating the time to giving to myself makes such a difference to my well-being and how I respond to life. It prepares me for the day ahead and I am less likely to react to people and situations.

  12. Hello Gina and the list of ‘to do’s’ in life never ends, in fact it gets longer by the day. It seems back the front but the way to do more is to absolutely take time to take care of yourself. The more you rush around and try and get everything done the more time you actually waste. Next time you see someone doing this just take a step back and watch. It’s not to judge them but just watch and see how things are left and how they feel. The trap is to think there is no time instead of staying in time. What is the difference? The difference is that staying present with what you are actually doing and not thinking constantly you have no time or you need to catch up leaves you in a different quality. As we know there is a flow to life, we have all possibly experienced this at some point where things just flow, there is an ease, almost like you are being pulled along. This is a quality that supports you back, jump out of that flow and it can feel like everything is working against you. The only way or the key to staying with this quality or flow is to stay present in the moment of what you are doing, no matter how important or long the list. So if you have a thousand things to do, instead of doing 4 at a time that puts you in 4 different places at once, do one and do it well. The world is geared to not support this so you will be given all manner of thoughts but we can always come back to the feeling, does it flow or not?

  13. I used to think I thrived on drama and coping with it but I realize now it was simply a means to avoid being aware of how few, if any, self loving and self responsible choices I was making in my life.

  14. $5 to attend the presentation about Womens Health. Such a small price to pay to reactivate our account in ‘the bank of wisdom’, the bank each one of us has an investment in, and access to anytime we want.

  15. Thank you Gina for sharing your experiences, it is amazing how different your day went when you took the time to take self loving care of yourself and the flow on effect to your family members compared to the day before. Such simple tools we are given but so powerful in changing lives.

  16. Universal Medicine has always presented gold to us on how to simple make loving choices that truly work, such as this -‘by taking more consideration of ourselves and care to look after ourselves, we then invite the opportunity of bringing more love into our lives, which is shared and felt by those around us.’ A win/win that benefits us all.

  17. That’s just one of the pieces of Wisdom I have also been offered by courses and workshops presented by Universal Medicine. It is constantly delivering simple, practical ways to live with love and self care that have transformed my life and the way I approach this beautiful world we live in.

  18. With out care for ourselves how can we show it to or hold others in it? Everything we experience on the outside starts with ourselves on the inside. Beautiful examples of reflection Gina.

  19. I love the ‘love tank’ comment – so true. The other thing that really struck me in this blog is how when we express ourselves without any lived essence in our words, they are empty, no one really gets what we are saying and we are just living in our heads. But, when we speak from the livingness of our experience, our words are embodied and carry an energetic foundation that can be felt by everyone and real communication takes place. Understanding this has helped me see that there were certain subjects I really struggled to grasp at school, but this is because the presentation of them was purely mental, without the embodied livingness of them to support the expression – and so, didn’t have the energy to connect with. True communication is really a beautiful thing.

  20. Recently, I mirrored your experience, I had a day of decorating, moving furniture and general household chores to do and felt to skip self-care this one morning because there was so much to get on with and ‘I told myself skipping self-care was OK as I needed to get everything done’. The knock on effect though was huge, I felt dreadful by about 10 am and was surprised when I looked in the mirror and this is what I got reflected back. I had not appreciated how much self-care supported me and its importance regardless of what I have planned for the day; I might wear different clothes but the care I take to choose those clothes and put them on need not change.

  21. Reading your experience has confirmed how much selfcare not only supports myself but supports others too. When we truly care for ourselves we inspire others to care for themselves too no matter how young or old.

  22. I had a session with a Esoteric Practitioner once who shared with me about regard and how gorgeous it is to challenge yourself each day to how much MORE regard you can take with yourself. I loved the idea, it made taking care of myself seem like fun and a never ending depth of love I can bring to myself and all I do.

  23. A great example Gina in how deepening our own love and self-care changes the way we value ourselves and builds a strong foundation and steadiness that supports us and also everyone around us.

  24. Today is a day like any other and depending on your routine or schedule something like this happens: you wake, you get dressed or shower, have some breakfast, interact with children, partner or flatmates, pack some lunch, clean your teeth and leave. There will be some minor changes for each day depending on your schedule as I said, but do you ever wonder what life is all about? I mean do you ever wake and wonder why you are doing what you are doing? How many times can we do the same thing over and over without at some point feeling there is more? I sit often and wonder, am I just here to wake up every day and do the same or similar things and then just die at some point down the track having had a good or great life. I mean it doesn’t seem to make sense at all to me at this point.
    What this article is asking is quality, in other words, we are going to do the same or similar thing over and over and as there is always a quality to it first, what is the quality? What are our thoughts when we wake, are they light and bright or are they heavy and dull? Do we drag ourselves out of bed on work days only to find on days off we can’t sleep? If nothing makes sense start to challenge why and the world will start to open up. What I have found the more you challenge the norm in you the more that opens. In other words, it’s an ongoing relationship that never ends, you just keep waking up ready to embrace whatever is in front of your face.

  25. Goodness how simple is that – making sure your love tank is full so you have that to offer to yourself and others. I can totally see how this would affect your day and how you spoke and behaved with other people.

  26. Great blog Gina, with a beautiful example of responsibility and self love. So gorgeous that you taught and reflected to your daughter by your livingness, thank you;
    “WOW! I could instantly feel the responsibility we have to show our children that by loving ourselves we in turn teach them personal responsibility and love towards themselves.

  27. Life changing wisdom shared for $5. Bargain! It goes to show Gina the most insightful and supportive real life learning’s don’t have to have an expensive price-tag along with them.

  28. What you present here is a beautiful example of the effect that self care has on our days, and the relationship we have with ourselves and others.

  29. “I could instantly feel the responsibility we have to show our children that by loving ourselves we in turn teach them personal responsibility and love towards themselves.” Absolutely so Gina and not only are we showing our children what responsibility and self love looks like but they to get to observe us and how we feel and explore it for themselves. A perfect reflection of responsibility and the choice to make it so. Thank you Gina.

  30. ‘each day I now reflect on how my treatment of myself has influenced the day’s events’. feels a very powerful practice to reflect on the events of our day and to feel that everything that happened we created on some level as a direct result of choosing self-love or self-neglect/self abuse.

  31. Presentations like this give new meaning to ‘days off’ as every day is a day on and there is no off. I enjoy what this article is bringing in the way that no matter what the day has as a heading, every moment is a moment to take care of yourself. We can say this and possibly we do do this but when the pressure is on and the list has a thousand things on it do we really put this theory on the ground. We can also see how we are all role models from how we are, so no ‘time off’ to just get this done or justification around what the day holds it’s all on and everyone is watching. Good practice to the old ‘behind closed doors’ chestnut as well where we think just because we are in our own 4 walls anything goes. Children reflect to us how we are and not necessarily what we say, a great lesson for us all even though I have heard it a thousand times.

  32. I notice that when I am in that running momentum in the morning and don’t put the care that I deserve into my day then I run my whole day in that. If I stop and put care into how I prepare for my day, it holds me and sustains me or has a point for me to come back to in my day.

  33. It’s all too easy, isn’t it, for the woman trying to hold it all together, to actually neglect herself, and then experience (and likely express…) extreme frustration with those around her for not playing their part and seemingly adding to her load…
    And therein is the key as you’ve shared here essentially Gina – what if the ‘load’ we’ve taken on isn’t ‘it’? What if coming back to a steady rhythm and way with ourselves is the true support everyone around us needs?

  34. I remember as a child feeling held back from doing my ‘fair share’ in household routines and duties, namely because someone else in the household carried it all as a burden that I realised in later years, was almost impenetrable to pierce through…
    We can be so identified as women, with playing such a role of ‘carrying everything’ – how truly supportive to have the presentations as you’ve described here Gina (and I have also attended many…) that in the simplest of ways, offer powerful opportunities for us to wake up out of ways that haven’t served us, nor those around us, whatsoever.

  35. “By taking more consideration of ourselves and care to look after ourselves, we then invite the opportunity of bringing more love into our lives, which is shared and felt by those around us” – this is a great reminder, thank you, Gina. So simple. When we look after ourselves, we are ultimately looking after everyone else.

  36. An inspiring account of how we are able to initiate true change in our lifestyle choices when we commit to building self-love and a steadiness to our foundation.

  37. The process of self love and rebuilding this into our lives is a very beautiful and endlessly worthwhile one to embrace and celebrate each step along the way. It is interesting how self love which is to deeply honour and give back to ourselves the love and care we are within has been seen as something bad and to be avoided. We have to put another before ourselves is the common misconception. But we must put ourselves equally first. The thing we often don’t realise is that by not valuing ourselves we are in fact bringing a lesser quality than we may realise to another.

  38. I absolutely love this blog. We would never go for a car journey without petrol – it’s impossible, so why would we begin our day without checking our love-tank is full. It’s our responsibility to ensure it’s full and we’re ready to go at the beginning of the day.

  39. Thank you Gina for a simply beautiful blog about choosing loving care for ourselves each morning as we prepare for the day and the effects of our love on each other and our days events.

  40. There is nothing like putting teachings into practice to see what happens and to be able to appreciate the quality of what was delivered. This and only this permits a proper assessment of the teachings. And, let’s face it, some do nothing for us. Others a bit. Others do but have a downside. Yet, Universal Medicine’s always work.

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