by Frank Tybislawski, Brisbane, Australia
I would like to share what I discovered through my recent sessions with a local Universal Medicine practitioner.
While I knew my diet was quite good, I had to admit that how I digested and reacted to the food was irregular. It seems like a simple process, one we have lived with (one way or another) since day one, yet food can be an issue throughout one’s whole life. I knew what tasted nice, I knew what didn’t taste nice, I knew what reacted with my body, so why then did I feel so up and down after eating? There had to be more to this and I needed to examine what that was, and why.
My practitioner and I discussed food and eating habits; most of our discussions centred on how certain foods felt when I ate them. For example, I already knew that a glass of milk caused severe pain, but I came to realise that other foods also had reactions in my body, perhaps in quite subtle ways which were easy to overlook. My focus throughout was to be very honest and feel each and every reaction to all the different foods I was eating. Another point discussed several times was that I often ate because it was that time of day, eg. breakfast time, so I must have breakfast. When I was asked if I was genuinely hungry on those occasions I had to say I was unsure – on some occasions I was, but on other occasions I definitely wasn’t.
The process then was one of self-reflection; firstly to be honest and ask myself, am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat… was it to dull or override another feeling? If I was genuinely hungry it was then the time to consider exactly what I felt like eating, and how much I should prepare and eat.
Another factor also came to light; was I eating something just because it tasted nice and therefore made me feel nice? The unfortunate answer was sometimes yes, and I got to feel this quite strongly on one occasion. I knew I was genuinely hungry and was contemplating what to have for dinner. There were a few options available – a quick re-heat of some left-over chicken curry, I could steam some vegetables and have some fish, I could defrost some soup, and there were others. My first thought was the chicken curry (a typical dinner meal), quick and delicious, but that suddenly didn’t feel right. It then just came to me that what I really wanted was a green salad (a typical lunch meal); it would require more preparation, but it really felt like what my body was asking for. I made the salad like I have numerous times before with the same ingredients, but I have to say it felt more satisfying than it usually did, and I felt great after eating it. This was a pivotal moment, as I experienced an entirely different approach to the whole hunger/eating regime.
I haven’t got all the answers and I also know that this is an ongoing process which needs to be continually reviewed. Foods that suit me now may not in the future, and foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now, or at some point in the future. What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.
But are we even hungry 99.9% of the time when we think we are? Or are we confsusing anxiety, tension, fear, etc. etc. with hunger? We feel something, we know that eating will quell it down so we call it hunger and eat a bowl of pasta.
Or ice-cream, chocolate, cakes, nuts, fruit, crisps, fruit … anything to not feel what we are feeling. Yep I know that one! The irony is I am actually feeling more and more in love with myself so why do I not want to feel that!
It is really helpful to re-visit this blog as I am in the process of reviewing why, how, how much and when I eat. What I eat is not a problem as I have a really healthy diet and I don’t crave certain foods, but for me the change has been occurring in allowing myself to feel what my body needs, checking if it is from true hunger and not to avoid feeling something in my body. I am also giving myself permission to eat when I feel to and not be bound by certain mealtime routines during the day.
I find there is a consciousness with food that currently holds a vibration that feels heavy, complicated and imposing. When we choose to step away from this, it feels easier to listen to our body and discern what to eat, when and how much. But if we align to the current heavy consciousness of food it can lead us to feel disempowered especially when it comes to our food choices.
Our relationship with food has certainly descended from one that is honouring of our connection to our body and being, as such honouring our evolution to one that uses food to self-medicate in order to not feel the truth of how we are living away from our connection to our Soul. Yet the irony is, we seem to know precisely what foods to eat, when and how much to dose ourselves, with the desired effect to numb and comfort the tension we feel from resisting our responsibility of living the light of who we are. So in truth it is what we are willingly aligning to that guides us to either eat to evolve, or eat to stay in comfort.
Yes indeed, we know exactly what we are doing to either support the body or dull it so that we do not evolve. When we can be honest about this we step into greater awareness of our choices.
I love how I can feel what my body wants and what is doesn’t. It can be tricky when one part of me feels like having something but I know I can feel not so good after eating it. I’m slowly learning what is the best approach for me with food. Being understanding and loving works wonders and feels very supporting.
Building our relationship to our body and to food is a lifelong process, our body regularly changes due to weather, the seasons, hormones, stresses, our age, illness, and if we are feeling strong and vital, we are in never ending constantly changing cycles and our needs change too.
To have a relationship with food that is very alive, aware and flexible with what is needed meal to meal, day to day, is a brilliant way of breaking through the notion that there is a ‘fix it all’ diet out there that will solve everything when we find it. Our bodies, our days, our ages, genders and work require different support at different times. Understanding this means that all we have to do is build an open, listening, respectful and responsive dialogue with our bodies.
I agree, the more I value the loveliness of me the less I want to put food into my body that dulls me, bloats me or makes me racy.
When given a menu or choice of foods, such as during a supermarket shop, what goes through our head whilst our eyes are searching the different dishes or we walk down the various aisles?… Do we buy to nourish ourselves or our family, or do we try to ‘get away with’ eating certain foods, fill the fridge with ‘fillers’ that will feed the family or even get concerned over whether our diet will help us to lose weight, or if it matches the ‘eatwell plate’ where we are getting the apparent right amount of nutrition? Often we are thinking about so many other things than what will be a nourishing meal.
the last one is often the case. Showing us that there is something driving us to eat in a way that is not that nourishing possibly. And so, of our great concern it might be now, to feel underneath and see what is driving us to eat certain foods and what underlying cause is craving to fill our hunger? A beautiful question to ask ourselves. Honestly.
Food and the way we eat is something that evolves as we do, so should never be stagnant. In that it’s important that we don’t become attached to a way of eating. It does take time to allow ourselves to listen to our bodies to determine what it is we will eat.
Honesty is the best dietary regime.
I agree Eduardo, and honesty is the best ingredient for life and it supports us to grow and expand.
It is interesting how I will find myself reaching for snack foods and wanting to eat even though I might actually not feel hungry at all. And further to that I can easily justify that the food I am eating as a snack or a meal is healthy or good for you, so it is like this implies that is it fine to eat, even though my body is actually not hungry at all. And how often do we overeat in social occasions when we are distracted by the company or the conversation? The body thrives on getting breaks from food just as much as it thrives on receiving nourishing and supportive food when it needs it. It is simply about tuning into what is happening and feeling your way with it as Frank has shared, and being open to exploring why we might go against what feels natural to us.
There is so much in what you have said here Henrietta. Something you have said about the body thriving on getting breaks from food is an interesting one and something in the western culture that is rarely, if at all discussed or even considered. 3 meals a day plus snacks is the ‘ideal way of eating’. But does it really suit our bodies. Do we thrive on eating this way? If we look at our current health and our waist lines one could say no, but there comes the quality of food we are eating also. What I am learning is that the diet we have and the food we eat is nothing about diet and food and all, but how we are with ourselves during the day, how we express (or not) and what we are prepared (or not) to deal with.
Frank, what a wonderful and simple sharing with a practical suggestion too. I love this part especially: “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.”
I find sometimes that my body feels all the things I associate with hunger, the tummy gurgles, etc, but my body also communicates strongly some of those times not to eat. Yes I am hungry but my body seems busy taking care of other jobs and asks me to give my digestion a break. This always feels great when I honour it and it’s a constant learning process.
What has helped me with food and eating in the wrong manner that I am developing more is to appreciate and confirm when I feel lovely in my body. The more I know this the more I do not want to degrade this feeling.
Rik, I find this is a truly helpful comment. I often let my food craving overtake the wanting to take care of myself and will either overeat, or prepare my food in rushed manner and eat it quickly. I can feel that by appreciating the quality of feeling the loveliness in my body more, I will be less likely to want to sabotage myself.
This is great Frank. We can make up so many rules when it comes to food but they are all false and used to avoid the responsibility of tuning in to the body.
It seems our current food trend has become so complicate and like you shared Leonne there seems to be so many rules. What’s happened to simplicity and appreciating food? Have we as a modern society gone a bit nuts with food?
How long it will take to prepare seems to be a key question in many of the eating choices we have. Fast food home delivery businesses are booming, so that tells us… speed of availability of what we want is a primary consideration. The question is does that requirement support us to eat what our body really needs? What type of fuel it needs that day? The answer is most often no… and so we are left with a clue to true health. Our eating choices must come from what the body needs and what the mind demands.
Well shared Heather – the fast food trade is booming as we live in a society where instant gratification is an expected norm. With this, the body and its needs are more often than not neglected and as a result we have a plethora of illness and disease very much life style related.
“…food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat!” When we look at it this way we can feel liberated by our power to choose in the moment what feels right for our body, rather than do the automatic thing just because we have done it a million times before.
How many of us eat when we are not hungry?? Gosh I bet if we did this one simple thing and only ate when we were hungry and knew what this truly was we would see a lot of health benefits.
We as a society are, in the main, programmed to believe that we need three meals a day and at those meals we eat certain things, depending on our culture, age etc. But nowhere in this programming did I ever find the advice to listen to my body before eating and to see if it actually wanted the food that I was about to feed it. If I had, I would have avoided many years of discomfort, digestive issues and often a lot of pain.
Food is my instant go to when I want to dull myself and I don’t want to feel. This can simply be eating too much at meal times, even with the healthy stuff. Paying attention to what I want to avoid supports this. Ingrid, I agree that being supported, from the earliest of ages, to listen our bodies about what they actually need would be a gift in terms of living life well.
I am so glad I came upon this blog today as my relationship with food needs a serious reviewing. You have reminded me that to be able to eat in the way that truly supports me requires me to be in connection first. It’s not about eating according to the image of what and how I should be eating, but it is a connection with my body where I learn to listen and respond.
‘…food is a daily choice…’ the simplicity and openness of this comment offers us the opportunity to break patterns and habits that do not necessarily serve and support us (fish fridays, roast on sundays, breakfast is king, 3 meals a day… the list is long) and build a listening and responsive relationship with our bodies’ and their feedback.
What I am starting to be aware of more is not what I eat but HOW do I eat and came to the realisation just now that a lot of the time I eat instead of first connecting to how I am feeling. It is like if I have had a really busy non stop day I will get home cook my dinner and eat and although it is not rushed I am not allowing myself to first stop, be with me feel and digest my day first. Awesome that I am aware of this the next step is to change it!!!
This blog is inspiring for us to all look at our relationship with food – a great one to ask, ‘am I truly hungry’ or ‘am I eating because of the time’? And secondly – to simply feel what supports us and honour our bodies.
There are lots of schools of thought around what is and isn’t good for us, which can be confusing when they say conflicting things, but by bringing our awareness back to our body and how we are really feeling, we can learn a lot about which foods work for us, as well as the timing of when we eat, how much and the impact of emotions on the way that we cook, eat and digest…
Our issues, behaviours and or obsession with food goes way beyond taste buds, nutritiousness, healthy or not. It is a very emotional and energetic matter that can relate to many aspects of life, whereby food is basically used to self-medicate. Developing a really supportive and healthy relationship with food requires awareness and healing of one´s inner state of being, so that food is no longer needed for emotional regulation.
I am allowing my body to guide me what to eat, when to sleep, when to get up and when to rest and this is all a learning process.
Eating food is something we all must do to live, but to begin to consider that we eat to maintain our body in a way that it can provide the optimum service to humanity possible completely changes how, when and what we eat.
Being honest about and paying attention to our relationship with food is one of the most revealing and powerful healing modalities.
I wonder how many people ask the question, “am I genuinely hungry?” or just follow the automatic ritual of the generally accepted lifestyle? I know I did. Since asking that question my eating habits have greatly changed and I feel far healthier for it.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Realising this has brought a whole new dimension to the choice and preparation of what I eat and with that has come far more enjoyment and satisfaction, which has rippled out into all aspects my life.
Thank you Frank, the level of detail you have shared around food offers an exquisite level of care. The body and what it needs definitely does change and move in cycles, and each person also has unique needs when it comes to diet. It’s very supportive to return to being aware of our body and what foods are nourishing for us personally.
Eating light to stay light is true in every sense, food can dull us or support our bodies to express…the choice is ours.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Food is either medicine or poison, as is the way we prepare our food and eat it. The choice is always ours.
The WAY that we eat is important food for thought (or thought for food) too. How we organise our meals, converse at the dinner table and actually eat is so important and can have a huge impact on our body.
I have read this blog while sitting down having my dinner. And it made me stop and feel what I was eating and why. Was it truly what my body wanted to have and the answer would be no but I am loving parsley at the moment! Also I definitely eat when I am not hungry, I think if I ate when I was ONLY hungry my meals/food intake would be halved.
There are so many reasons why we eat other than being hungry. I really don’t think most of us in the west at least know what genuine hunger feels like. Last year I experimented with only eating once a day. I found I had lots of feelings in my tummy that I had previously taken for hunger but soon realised they were discomfort from a tight stomach, boredom etc. This was definitely an eye opener!
It is interesting here when you write about food and time and how inter-related they can be. I had not really appreciated this before, but in the daily rhythms and cycles of life, there is a definite correlation between what time of day it is and therefore when one should eat – regardless of the body’s processes and where it is at with those at that time.
No matter what choice of food we eat, when we stand by our choice, the love we have given to ourselves in being true opens up the next moment for us. No right or wrong there, just love all the way.
The more I listen to my body the more I am guided as to knowing what truly supports by well-being, be it with food or otherwise. As being aware of the effect emotions have on my body and being has been very revealing and empowering, in that more often than not is what is behind our unloving food choices to begin with.
We often only think about the taste and texture of food we have in our mouth for about 30 seconds and over ride the negative effects on our body which has to digest for the next day or so.
It is a lovely thing also to consider how we can also come together to share a meal rather than the focus on being what is eaten even though consideration is given for what each feels supportive to eat.
I feel that being distracted by what our head is telling us about what flavour, crunch, or spicy our food is, or simply if we are hungry when we have only finished eating a huge meal an hour or two before, or even the thoughts of pangs of hunger, can make us want to overeat.
It’s quite clear to me that as a society we have a eating problem, to be honest when I was growing up there didn’t seem to be many over weight people. Now when I look around most people seem to be over weight to varying degrees; but then there’s more food available to buy, more restaurants, fast food outlets. We spend huge amounts of money on food and at the same time waste so much that I have to wonder why it has become such a must have commodity.
It really raises the question of the purpose of why and what to eat. Sure we are hungry and need food to supply the body with nutrients and some energy but that is not all to us, not everything why we eat, what we eat for and what effect eating has on our state of being. Just opening ourselves up to these questions will unfold a lot of insights and answers, expand our awareness and will probably surprise us in many ways.
“Foods that suit me now may not in the future, and foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now, or at some point in the future” – how true , and I’m also finding this too Frank.. it makes sense because the body changes over time and hence so too do foods to support that change, or evolution.
Yes, this is so interesting. I’ve recently did an experiment that allowed me to really see just how obsessed I was with food. I had no idea how owned I was by it. The thoughts about food were constant all day long, from when I was going to eat next, what I needed to prepare, when I was going to prepare, what I was going to buy etc etc. What I realised in my experiment was that I’m not actually hungry for most of the day at all, contrary to what my head might be telling me. It’s just thoughts running me that aren’t actually real.
What a great realisation Frank . . . ” What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” . . . yes we need to feel what is needed rather than eat for the sake of eating. And when we do feel what we need everything tastes better and digestion becomes easier.
I can still fall into the trap of eating something quick and easy, rather then feeling into exactly what I need that will best support my body. When I do listen to my body, I do not tend to over eat because I feel a sense of being filled with love and not stuffed with food
Which is the very thing we avoid doing; filling ourselves with love. This is a major turning point when it comes to food. The need to fill what is not full with food is non existent if we are already filled with love.
This is one area of my life that I feel quite clueless or more true would be to say, one area that I avoid. Food can either heal or harm, to look deeper into how we choose to use it can be a touchy matter we would rather avoid.
I feel many of us really avoid investigating further because we love the comfort of our food and we do not want to let go of food that we already know does not support us.
“I made the salad like I have numerous times before with the same ingredients, but I have to say it felt more satisfying than it usually did, and I felt great after eating it” – i’ve experienced this too Frank with certain foods tasting different and not as yummy/nourishing when i’ve just followed routine and not felt what my body’s asking for. I also have that with the way vegetables are chopped too – sometimes i feel they are to be different shapes, sizes.. and then that detail extends to plates for exampled having the food on round, oblong, square, a bowl, and so on ha ha!
Honesty is a key part of the process of developing a personal relationship with food, for it allows us to feel the way our movements influence us in everything that we do.
When we are ‘in love’ with ourselves our every gesture and behaviour honours this, including the food we eat to support our loving body.
It’s a bit of a no-brainer when we start listening to our body. The problem seems to be the brain, as it gets in the way with things such as how much protein we need, that we should eat a variety of foods, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, the (godforsaken) food pyramid and so on. No-brainers are always good, as it’s the body we need to listen to and not the brain.
Food is such an interesting thing because really food is medicine but when we eat the wrong food for our bodies, overeat, eat when we are not requiring food etc it becomes a poison in the body. The way to avoid this is to simply listen to and honour what our body tells us.
What is felt within the body when we nominate we are not so hungry is profound! Try it the next time you are going to the fridge? So simply when feeling hungry feel what is happening, is it our body or is it our head dictating what our body needs. At times our head over-rides what is required by the body so it is up to each of use to discern for ourself.
When I ask myself “am I genuinely hungry?” on many occasions the answer is not really and I either continue to wander around the kitchen looking for something to eat, or I accept that feeling and the urge to eat passes. Doing this has surprised me as to how little food we genuinely need and from time to time I still push my beliefs about how much food we should eat and how often.
That’s a hugely revealing question to answer Frank, one that gives us a lot of insight as to how our day is, or week has been, when answered honestly – “am I genuinely hungry?”
Most of us were brought up on 3 meals a day, as well as morning tea and afternoon tea and we just went along with it thinking it was necessary. I only started questioning this way after I attended an Universal Medicine workshops where Serge Benhayon presented a simple truth which resonated with me, and that was to feel what to eat rather then eat what you feel. From this I started to feel when I needed to eat which led me to realize that I was eating way too much and cut back my food intake by over half. I save so much time as I no longer have to prepare and eat meals that do not even support me.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Wow Frank I love what you have shared. Imagine if more people would live like this I am sure the obesity rate would not be so high as it would help to be more aware of what is really going on and why there is the need to eat.
Food plays a huge role in the relationship we have with our bodies and how deeply we want to connect to them.
We can’t heal our relationship to food or change disregarding eating patterns unless we’re open to seeing the ‘WHY’ behind them.. Discipline and going on immediate strict diets are shown to be ineffective in the long term, but healing what’s underneath the need for certain foods can change our relationship altogether.
Thanks, Frank. My relationship with eating is not so much about the foods I am eating, although this is always being reviewed and refined, but more now about how I am eating. Until recently, even if it was something very healthy, I could still eat in a manner where I disconnected from my body. It was like an energy took over and I lost myself in the process. Now that this has shifted, it is super important for me to make sure that I eat with connection to myself and others.
Our relationship with ourselves and our food is a marriage that will never have a sell by date. I love what you are offering here and bringing it all to the table. This awareness is one to be appreciated and all in all it is only us that can do this for ourselves. Particularly when we are the ones feeling the outcome of our choices every single time in the body.
Yes, exploring our relationship with food is very simple. It requires honesty and can be super revelatory and inspiring.
This article offers an inspiring invitation to explore our relationship with food; to respectfully review how we approach preparing meals and how much is habit or responding to what our bodies are calling for. I am learning all the time and my relationship with food and my body provides great insight into other aspects of my life… body image, self care and approach to work, for example.
The awareness of food, our bodies and the impacts on us, is something so much needed in the world with an honesty and real understanding using and listening to our body as our guide. Universal Medicine and its teachings is showing us another way to all the beliefs out there and how we use food to hide what we truly feel and know. Our way forward with food is something to address as a humanity and a new way forward and livingness is existing.
Our diet has to evolve as we evolve.
The more we say yes to the call of evolution the more responsibility there is to constantly fine-tune our relationship with food, as when we eat according to the light within our bodies simple food can be deeply nourishing and truly flavoursome.
“It then just came to me that what I really wanted was a green salad (a typical lunch meal); it would require more preparation, but it really felt like what my body was asking for” – agree Frank, and i love it when one prepares a meal the body is asking for.. it always tastes really great and feels so nourishing. Is funny too as I’ve made the ‘mistake’ of repeating a delicious recipe yet clocking the taste as quite different, same ingredients etc., but because i was different in my body and in myself at that (repeating) time, the same meal was also different and however tasty it was not required (!)
Thank you Frank for your sharing. Food choices are always a matter of getting out of my head and feeling into my body and listening to the truth of what it needs to nourish it.
Our body knows what a healthy diet is, therefore the more we listen to its wisdom the simpler life will be.
And what is brilliant about listening to our bodies is that we get to understand that there is no diet that suits all; that our diets need to respond to our lives and this understanding has a beautiful side effect of building a relationship with our bodies that supports in many other areas of our lives (exercise, career choices, approach to sleep, for example).
Am I genuinely hungry is a common question I ask myself, and more often than not the answer is no? And what I find is that often there is a tension around a situation or self-worth feeling that needs to be addressed.
I notice that my obsession and fantasy affair with food will get very strong when I’m in a situation I don’t want to be in, or don’t feel that great about myself – or in fact when I’m feeling really great and finding it all a bit too much! All of a sudden I’ll have hunger pangs that weren’t there before. So I’ve been learning to discern when that call to munch and eat is simply a medication technique and when it’s actually because I am truly hungry. Funnily enough, it’s more often than not the former rather than the latter….
Its a great point that what we eat each day really depends on what our body needs nutritionally, and that turns the diet industry on its head. Our body knows the way if we can listen.
It is easy to override the body and dismiss its wisdom around food and what to eat. I know I will often wish I had listened to my body when I have a reaction to certain foods.
Yes thinking about what we eat can become an obsession if we let it. Choosing to eat when we are not hungry is a big issue, one that we do all the time, to distract and to not feel what is truly going on.
A big shift happened in my diet when I realised that what I was choosing to eat based on taste was agony in my body. The more I allowed myself to feel that, the easier it became to select foods based on how my body responded, rather than what my transient emotional whims desired.
And what is telling us that we are hungry …..is it truly our body, or another part of us looking for comfort, relief or distraction?
I love how food, much like every other moment of the day, is asking us to discern what is true.
It takes loving discipline to commit to nourishing the body rather than buying into the food consciousness that postulates that we are to eat because it’s mealtime; who says? And who says what kind of meal is appropriate at what time of day? Where do these quasi regulations really come from?
I always reflect on the metaphor of my body being like a glass of clear water. If I drop some dirt in it (say chocolate), it is very obvious. Years ago my body was not so clear and dropping dirt into it didn’t make that much of an obvious difference as it was so dirty already. The clearer my body becomes, the less it will tolerate the dirt.
” What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat ”
I have found the same when eating . The body is at a different place so to speak as we move on in time and therefore requires different levels of food as a result.
I love your closing paragraph and its lack of dogma and adherence to rules. I am learning on a daily basis how clearly my body sign posts what would support it food wise in any given moment.
Despite having to let go of gluten and diary because of ill health, there are still certain foods that affect me. It is a working progress and discerning the signals the body is presenting every day.
Foods have many memories, and we go to those that give us comfort, make us feel at home, tastes nice, for special occasions, the list could be endless. And I found as I listen to my body more, those memories and reasons come through more and more. I also found there are no set rules that suit all, it is for each individual to discover for themselves and ready to make those choices.
You raise a cool point which is that foods that suit you now may not suit you in the future. What I am finding fascinating about my relationship with food is how it is always changing. And I observe this too through my young daughter – who stopped breast milk and has never looked back, who stopped blended food and has never looked back – she teaches me so much in the natural process of evolution.
Food is definitely a refining process, in the past I would be quite disciplined in a strict way and there for I would be very tensed around food. I now am much more surrendered and am learning to eat what my body truly needs and not from what I think I should be eating. Sometimes I feel like something, a vegetable or so, that I haven’t eaten in ages and that than apparently has what my body needs. This is then for one meal and after that I don’t feel like it anymore. It is really about surrendering and not controlling it so much.
Sometimes, rather than another snack, a drink of water is all that is needed – we often eat when we really need hydrating.
There is eating, and then there is eating and understanding food, ourselves and a way of life that is digested. I’ve noticed my relationship with food changes based on what is being processed during the day.
I’m also discovering it is a moment by moment choice if I am truly willing to listen to my body.
Food is a continual refinement of what the body needs. I know I often crave a certain food but it is not what I need to eat. I am learning to listen to my body and feel what food will truly nourish my body and not just simply satisfy my taste buds.
Having awareness of what and why we eat is a vital part of unravelling ourselves back to the clarity and connection we are capable of. Food is and has always been one of our greatest sources of distraction and dulling from all it is we do not want to feel and address in life.
It’s a big one you could say, isn’t it, food. I remember growing up there was a big focus on it from a family point, we were never meant to be hungry. If you weren’t hungry then it was seen as you were being well provided for. I still love eating and being around people with food, I love the feeling, company and conversations. More and more food isn’t the focus but it’s just a part of the whole relationship and I guess that is what the article is saying. There needs to be a letting go of food and I am not saying don’t eat but more how we tend to put food at the front and not just see it as a part of the whole setting or thing. Whenever we hold something at the front as a focus it tends to block our view from everything else, food, naturally a PART of life.
I agree Ray, when we make food the focus at dinner we can miss out on connecting with the people we are dinning with. I notice this in the aged care place I am working, the elderly are so intent on their food, they are all in there isolated bubble of a world, not even noticing that there are 4 other people at their table.
It’s funny and I use to think every situation was the same and yet now I can see there maybe an overall similarity but we need to read each moment to clearly see what is going on and not just assume we know. Like with say people all sitting around the table eating together, each maybe there doing what appears to be the same thing but when you truly read each one you can see that are literally bringing their own unique part to the table. When we see this it may support them to see more as well. Whether we are sitting at the table or not it doesn’t mean there is not some part of us to play in supporting what is going on.
I love this awareness and consideration that there are no hard and fast rules about what we should and shouldn’t eat; that it is much simpler than that and that we have our guide and support with us at all times… our bodies. When I listen in respectfully to my body it is simple and clear what will or won’t support me on any given day.
It feels inspiring to be listening to the body and not just be controlled by whether we are hungry or not hungry. My question is always why are you not feeling hungry? As when I rely on the sensation of hunger, I can simply not eat for a long time. But what feels to be tension to me is, why is my life controlled by food? Whether I eat or not eat, if food is the issue that I constantly think about it is controlling me, and that feels super uncomfortable. So could this be a distraction for me in committing to life? As when I experiment with committing more with life, there is a flow which takes care of everything and nothing needs to be focused on separately as our life is one life.
Thank you Frank, is it not amazing the importance of how we prepare to eat, as much as it is what we eat. Just about all systems in place re eating have a commercial aspect to them. So we should not be surprised by the outcome of our human eating patterns.
“What I realise is food is a daily choice” – a personal choice for everyone.
I am becoming far more aware of how certain foods react with my body, from foods that make me tired, sluggish and slow to those that make me feel energised and alert, through listening to my body and learning what’s needed I’ve changed my diet to support myself, which is forever asking me to be more aware.
Why as human beings do we pride ourselves on our wide variety of foods and choices… when most of them either are over manufactured and are poisonous or just naturally make us react?
It is interesting that when we find a food which time and time again has proven to us not to suit our bodies, and yet we still continue to eat or drink that product. Is this where food allergies come from, by ignoring the simple messages the body gives out initially and continuing to consume something that doesn’t agree with us?
” What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” So so true Frank there are so many times I reach for something because it is convenient rather then what my body really wants, honouring what my body really wants is a whole other ball game one which I am constantly learning from.
The other day I ate what I would call the ‘perfect’ meal, white fish, salad and parsley dip. Directly afterwards I had a massive stomach ache and realised that I had not discerned the energy of the person at the time they cooked the meal. It is important that we read the energy constantly and not assume just because a person is normally switched on that they will consistently be this, they may be having an off day and channelling the wrong type of energy.
“am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat” – By today’s norm this is an absurd thing to ask… We’re made to eat food, aren’t we? But what if we aren’t designed to consume it all throughout the day, in the quantities we do? What if there was a reason or something we are distracting ourselves from that’s much more important than snacks and meals?
Food is so personal for everyone. I know I still use it as a comforter, even though my diet by most would seem ultra-heathy. As you say, it is clocking when I am eating to truly nourish, or to dull and numb what I don’t want to feel. When something tastes so good I still have difficulty to not overeat even though my body is signalling to stop!
Eating honestly and deeply from the body requires absolutely no attachment to food whatsoever because whilst one day your body might need a food you might like, the next day it may no longer need that food. In such a case putting our craving before our bodies true needs exposes the fact that there is more going on than just eating something because we feel we need it. Is it our body that needs it or our emotional unsolved issues that are driving us to seek it?
Is it not funny that eating and food are topics mostly everyone is talking about. What you have presented Frank is something most people have to thing about: “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” My feeling is if more people would ponder on this like you have described I am sure obesity would not play out in such a way it does it right now.
I have found that I am beginning to react more to certain foods, even though I have given up dairy and gluten, my body is letting me know that there are still foods that don’t support my body, and my diet has to evolve with the changing needs of my body.
I’m pretty sure the majority of people on earth have some kind of issue with food. Whether it’s really an issue or not, food gets blamed for so many things. I’ve been noticing how when I arrive at work I think I need to have whatever I have brought for breakfast and sometimes I’m halfway through and realise I didn’t really need to eat right now. There is an incredible difference in how I feel when I listen to when my body actually needs food.
Yep I agree with this Aimee. But what is this saying about us if most of us on earth has some kind of issue with food. I would say we are not eating or using food in a way to truly support us but instead using food to dull our awareness, light and numb how we are feeling. I also found when I think of food or eat food at work mostly I do not need it and it is used to distract me from what I am doing, also if I feel anxious about something or feel like there is something big to do I go to food. However nothing is ever given to us that we cannot handle.
I know that feeling Vicky, when I have something big to do, or sometimes more honestly I have made something out to be bigger than it is, and I go for food to appease and as a reward.
Frank this is a great blog and perfect timing for me as I have been ignoring some signals I have been receiving around certain foods I am eating. We will always know what foods to eat if we listen to the body’s wisdom, this is really key in developing a more loving relationship with our body instead of seeking to dull and dampen our awareness and eating out of patterns and beliefs around food and diet.
Taking an honest look at our eating habits can be quite shocking – it’s not uncommon to eat when not hungry, to eat foods that we know don’t make us feel good, to overeat…none of this makes sense when you consider we are a supposedly intelligent species. Perhaps looking at what lies underneath our food choices is where the key lies, albeit something that is super challenging.
Food is huge topic of conversation for us and if we look around us we can clearly see how we use it as a comfort blanket. I knew someone who ate chocolate constantly it was their go-to food to help them feel better they felt soothed but they didn’t go to the why are they were eating it? Or what was it about the way they were living they didn’t want to be in touch with.
For me, it is not about food, but about the moments in-between food that determine what I then choose to eat.
The terms ‘breakfast time’, ‘lunch time’, supper time’ can become a habit and pattern that this is when we eat and it can become a pattern that ensures a regular dulling of our awareness.
I like the way you have turned the tide of your relationship with food from dictated to by what is right and appropriate to responding to what your body feels or is calling for. This seems a much more responsible way of living.
The way we eat say alot about ourselves and how we relate to life and others.
I can remember as a child, so often sitting down to dinner but feeling I really didnt want to eat the food that was in front of me, but I mostly did and there wasn’t any choice, or so I thought at the time. What we did always have in the house was a biscuit tin, and my mum made loads of cakes, so there was always these to fill me up if I got hungry – a bit like a security blanket. At the time I never related to how I was feeling with the food I ate, but a few years ago when I gave up gluten and dairy and started to look at my relaionship with food, cake was the hardest thing for me to let go of!
Often I have a thought of when I leave it up to my body to decide, the times when it is hungry I may not be at liberty to eat, e.g. I may be in a meeting or on the run, so these thoughts limit me in having to eat at certain times of the day even if I do not feel hungry then. And yet, while eating at these appointed times, I may still find myself feeling hungry at other times of the day when I am not at liberty to eat! These thoughts come from the consciousness of having to follow the system and not letting the heart and body lead the way. That is why our world is still one operating on mental intelligence and knowledge as being the big daddy. I do not have any answers but it feels necessary to give it a try to allow the body to lead, this decision is going to impact in fact, the whole city, the whole culture and even the world…so is there any reason to hold back?
The diet of awareness is the most yummy diet ever with the most fantastic consequences. It is a diet that never ends and one you would not ever want to end.
If we can go several weeks without eating, this means that every time we feel hungry we are not really. What if that feeling has exclusively something to do with what are we feeling in the body? What if the message we get is this is too much feeling, please stop it?
I spent years living with every intention of eating light salads, green vegetables and healthy meals. The food would be in the fridge ready and inviting but would inevitably go off and get wasted as after a day at work I would almost always want comfort food like pasta and cheese to dull myself with the obligatory glass of red wine to take the edge off how disconnected I had felt in my day.
It’s interesting how on one day eating a particular meal can feel super nourishing and nutritious because it is exactly what I felt like but to eat it the next day in ‘auto’ mode it can feel rich or heavy and not nearly as supportive.
Yes and this is when the belief that we need to finish up the leftovers from the day before is less than helpful. Being brought up to not waste anything especially food, this has been a hard one to let go of but if I really honour my body then I do not want to put anything into it without first checking if that is what it really wants and needs. The caring for my body has to have priority over using up yesterdays food!
The pathway to the Soul always starts with diet, because diet is one of the chief ways we dull our awareness of life’s true source. Feeling a little tension? Have a beer, or a milkshake, or a chocolate, and then you don’t have to feel it anymore – at least for a little while. And whilst one feels no tension in that moment, one is also incapable of feeling the rest of life – including true love.
I loved what you shared Adam about food being one of the chief ways to dull our awareness, not only about what is going on for us that we don’t want to feel, but also the awareness of our own true love.
Great point Jill and Adam – isn’t it weird how often what we don’t want to feel is how awesome we are. Maybe that is because if we admit that truth then we have to live it and with that comes a responsibility that we at times choose to shirk.
One of the greatest things I have learnt through the presentations of Universal Medicine is that we are not so much having a relationship with food, we are having a relationship with our awareness or chosen lack of it. That is – there are certain foods we reach for that at some level we know will either make us feel dull and heavy or stimulate us and make us feel fast and racy. Either way they create a ‘block’ within us that means we cannot so easily access what is there for us to so easily access – the universal wisdom (love) that flows through us all.
Man this is such a good blog, it stands the test of time too, I haven’t read it for years and I swear its gotten even better than the first time I read it. I love your honest and humble position, your inquisitive nature and your willingness and openness to a different way of living and to eating. Your choice to eat a salad just because it felt true was outside the box and it really inspired me. I will often eat out of convenience and practically so this blog really did speak loudly to me, thank you.
If I asked genuinely asked myself the question ‘am i hungry?’ before I eat I know the answer many times would be no … so this alone just proves to me that I am using food to dull my awareness or how amazing I am. Mmmm maybe I should experiment with this more and only eat when I am hungry! So basically I eat and use food to keep myself small and not be all that I am! This is also something I really need to work with more and truly deeply be more honest with how my body feels after eating certain foods ‘My focus throughout was to be very honest and feel each and every reaction to all the different foods I was eating.’.
A truly healthy diet is one that works for our body. Everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another. The only thing that is required to know what works for us and what does not is to have a connection with our body and to be really honest about what our bodies are showing us.
This is a great opportunity to reflect and be honest about the relationship we have with food, is it one that is constantly fine-tuned according to our evolution or one that keeps us in the comfort and misery of not being who we truly are.
Frank you are bang on the money – food is a continual daily choice. Each day/each meal, we have the choice to choose what we want to eat. (or not if you are not hungry). And when I say ‘what we want to eat’, I really mean what our bodies are asking us for, what is the most nourishing thing we can eat to nourish our bodies.
But so often, we eat what we always eat – that can look like cereal/toast for breakfast, salad/sandwich for lunch, pasta/curry/stirfry for dinner. Where the gold is, is developing a relationship with your body where you can ask what it feels like, and then the trick is, is actually responding to it! Like you did for the salad for dinner – and look how you feel. It can support to become a scientist of your own body – like you did, OK I listened to my body and it liked what I ate – no bloating, gas, heaviness etc…. or I did not listen to my body and now I feel heavy, tired, bloated etc….. then from this wisdom, you can choose.
Eating in connection with one’s body would seem such a normal affair but it’s something I’ve struggled with most of my life. I have observed other people also it in ways other than its sole function of nourishing the body. Yes it is great to enjoy and, like you mentioned,when I eat in sync with my body the food tastes amazing because it’s just what my body is calling for.
However, I know I have used it as a crutch to get through my day – lurching from one meal to the next like when you’re swimming from one end of the pool to the other and are desperate to make it without drowning so the ends of the pool are where you just want to stay and rest forever. Swimming like this/living like this it’s just no wonder why we may seek a never ending pack of nuts, sweets, chips – whatever is your fancy. So it’s not about judging oneself as bad or weak willed or rubbish but looking at what brought you to opening the fridge for something in the first place.
As I start swimming with a commitment to being in the water, being with each stroke and each breath, the ends of the pool fade from being the respite they once offered and reaching them is no different to swimming. This is true for my life too. As I start to be with myself in each moment, not abandoning myself when I think I cannot handle people or situations, not jumping ahead trying to picture and prepare/fear for any eventuality; food as a safe haven loses its onus and I become a support for my body’s welfare through eating responsibly. So the key for me is supporting myself to be in this world fully, to not revert to survival mode but actually enjoy being me in the world.
Thanks Frank, I appreciated the point about the subtleties that the body may either react to or respond with to foods. Sometimes things are not always obvious.
“The process then was one of self-reflection; firstly to be honest and ask myself, am I genuinely hungry?” Exploring our ways with food and asking ourselves how we feel when we eat and if we are hungry can bring a greater awareness to our habits and patterns with food. Exploring our relationship with self in this way has a great potential to shift an old pattern and make new loving food choices.
There is a golden moment in this writing when you turn the corner to listening to what your body wants over and above what you mind tells you to have according to what is considered normal.
In developing a loving and honouring relationship with my body I have discovered how food is actually medicine, and that our choices of what we eat, why we eat and how much we eat all have a great effect on our vitality and well-being, that is healing or harming. Living from the guidance of our bodies is not what society currently regards as ‘normal’, and in fact champions disregarding our bodies, yet clearly our bodies know best with what is needed to sustain itself and our being in order to maximise vitality, clarity and the sparkle we are naturally born to live with.
We cause food to manipulate how we feel at any given moment – we are the masters of comfort food. Very few if any other species would eat themselves to death.
Reading your blog Frank, I realised why dieting often doesn’t work because it doesn’t teach us to listen to our body. If we learn to listen to our body and eat according to what our body needs it will naturally guide us.
It is very true Chan. We as a society have forgotten that the purpose of food is to nourish our bodies, in order for us to live with the optimum health and well-being, in which a loving and honoring relationship with our bodies serves as our greatest guide.
Dieting is a ‘solution’ but not a true remedy as there is no healing to be found in strengthening the will to ‘not do’ something, as it is the one and the same will that is used to ‘do it’ in the first place. Thus the key is to listen to the body and all that is communicates to us and be able to have a will that can obey these signals.
I often find myself eating when I’m not hungry. I’m in the pantry in the jar of almonds eating them when I’m not even hungry. I’ve been blanking this out and not really looking at why I do it. Perhaps its time for me to pay attention to what I’m feeling when I do this and what is going on as clearly it’s not about the food.
The different beliefs I’ve held about food and eating I’ve allowed to get in the way of eating what my body has been asking for. All the I mustn’t eat that because of something I’ve heard doesn’t come from a knowing from my body at that moment. My body is supporting me in my life and knows what will support so, if I am to return this level of wisdom it’ll be wise to listen and follow what it is saying. I’ve been out of sync with my body and sometimes what it it asking for clashes with beliefs that say for example I have to eat lots if I am more active in my day when yes more sustenance and a different kind of food may support that day but that’s got to come from my body and not my head. When eating what my body feels to is amazing. The food tastes amazing and feels great inside. Listening to my body and following what it says is developing but is a beautiful process.
Thank you Frank, food has been on my mind today and the questions that are coming up are concerning dulling myself as well. I also love Elizabeth Dolans comment above so true for me as well.
The whole question of why we eat, what we eat and when we eat it is huge and a whole study in itself. We absolutely know when and what to eat to dull ourselves. We know this very well but we are often not very honest about the fact and instead, make up all sorts of excuses why we do what we do. There is a great need to become more honest about food and how we use it.
About a week ago, I saw some basil at my local supermarket and really felt like eating some and when I had some it was amazing how clear I felt afterwards, I just loved it. I kept eating every day and it felt good that I was choosing to eat something my body liked and needed. Then I bought some more and am still eating it every day – now, I have to say, it is beginning to feel, not terrible, but somehow stagnated. Sure, it worked really well a week ago; sure, herbs are great – but feeling into the motivation behind why I picked up my 2nd batch of basil and how I have been keeping eating it at every meal, I can feel how I have skipped the process of checking in with my body but instead jumped right into a formula and my body is communicating it deserves more honoring than that.
That is the pivotal difference in the process of food and eating – it is how it feels after you eat. I have felt mostly bloated or a numbed feeling and not the support of feeling my evolution and thus awareness.
This is great Frank. I have discovered that my body actually does speak to me all of the time and it is just a case of whether I choose to listen to it and then take action is key.
Yes, eating because the clock says it’s 12pm is such a common story. Or eating because others are eating, which is a really big one for me. I often get food envy…and will eat even if I’m not hungry, simply because everyone else is and I don’t want to miss out. It’s a bit of a crazy thought really, because I’m certainly not living a life where I need to worry about where my next meal is coming from, so I really need to be asking, what is it that I think I’m missing out on, when I have access to food whenever I want it?
The key to our relationship with food is the relationship we hold with ourselves firstly and therefore with food thereafter.
Food is such a big issue for many of us. We need to not only look at what we eat, but when we eat, why we eat and the way we eat what we eat. Do we eat too little or too much, do we gobble it down with out a breath in between each mouth full, do we eat because we are bored or want to dull our awareness down or because it is lunch time and we are supposed to have lunch? If we were to listen to our body and eating accordingly it would support us to expose all the myriad of ways we eat in the above manner.
It’s so inspiring to read how feeling into what your body felt it needed and preparing that for yourself and then finding your body thanking you so to speak in how you found the meal tasted and felt great. It’s inspiring me to trust my body does know best – why wouldn’t it?!! It is after all knowing of itself. So it’s about me supporting myself to listen to what it needs.
Great blog, rarely do we stop to feel what our bodies are asking for and more often I know I choose foods based on seeking relief. This offers more food for thought.
I love your point of not eating as an automatic response but look at what to eat and when to eat afresh every day. When there are pictures of what I normally eat it is easy to override my body but when I am listening to my body it exactly knows what it wants. The only thing to learn is to really listen to it and learn the language of the body again.
I too have fallen for that idea that if it is morning then I must have breakfast, irrespective of what my body is telling me. Not only that but the world tells us what to eat for breakfast e.g. cereal rather than soup or vegetables. It is incredible how much we have accepted this given it has nothing to do with the reality of what our body might be presenting to us. It is definitely time to question who comes up with these “rules” and why? Why have we wanted to deny the truth of the body so much? Definitely worth pondering on.
This is something that is continually coming up for me at the moment because I know I am eating to dull my light but it isnt’ until recently (like 1 hour ago) I have consciously stopped and seen this and asked myself why … why on earth would I want to dull my light! So along with working on this I feel I need to do similar to what you have done ‘My focus throughout was to be very honest and feel each and every reaction to all the different foods I was eating.’ because it definitely needs changing as I can feel how self abusive this is.
We seem to be fighting a global battle with food, obesity, sugar, fat, carbs, weight loss and nutrition, whilst totally overlooking the fact that it’s meant to be something that NOURISHES rather than emotionally cripples us! Sounds crazy but we get pretty caught up in it…
Food is a reflection of life. We may not avoid anything and cope with the consequences. Or we may select a few things here and there and black list them while turning a blind eye in other ones that also do harm us. Or, we may decide to call things by their real name. It is just a choice.
It’s easy to almost get stuck in a rut with food and eat the same thing again and again, or… To eat whatever we feel like, rather than checking in with our bodies as to what they nutritionally need. I love your salad example – and how clearly you knew what your body needed that evening, and went with that rather than what your mouth fancied.
Food for thought – would be an equally interesting saying too. It came to me when I were finishing reading this blog. As we have those thoughts about food, probably everyday, we can say that the emotions we are in at the moment of the thought might very depend our food choose. If we are feeling sad, we will grab possibly more heavy foods or maybe sweet food.. Hence, we seem to be eating more the emotions than the food itself 😉 But, it is a very interesting pondering, that before we choose a food, to feel within ourselves the emotional mood/energy we have been living in our day and on that specific moment even.. Gorgeous to bring more awareness to food and our choices with it.
It’s funny isn’t it, we hear or think the words ‘breakfast time’ and automatically assume we must have breakfast. It’s not as though we’d unhesitatingly obey some other sort of random suggestion, like ‘it’s have a car bingle time’, is it? We are completely conditioned to respond, like Pavlov’s dog, to a command that might not even come close to the truth of what we need or feel. Breaking free of the breakfast, lunch and dinner consciousness is a great step forward in our own empowerment.
I really need to do this, to pay close attention to the way I am with food, not from an obsession or anything but to just experiment and pay loving attention to my motivations for eating and how often that serves my body or serves my taste buds only!
I recall feeling so hungry I thought I was going to pass out. This no longer happens as my diet has changed somewhat and I no longer eat as much as I used to. Interesting that the more we eat, the more we want to eat (and think we need to eat). There is so much more to food and eating that we rarely explore. Many will be aware of emotional eating, but have we actually drilled down to expose what this may mean to each of us? At present we are eating to kill ourselves, rather than to nourish and support ourselves and Big Food industries are taking advantage of this by giving us what we think we want.
Every day we eat to fuel our body, but could too many of us be getting distracted by comfort, indulgence and taste rather than quality, and this is why we have the growing obesity epidemic that in turn is a becoming an increasing burden on our health care system.
To consider when I feel hungry that I might not actually have hunger is a revelatory thing. To know that it is a need to dull my emotions, or deflect reaction is greatly supportive when watching my choices and therefore what I eat.
It is all too easy to prepare and eat a meal because of what is convenient when we are hungry. But by stopping as you have done here Frank, and pondering on whether or not it is really what your body is asking for allows the space to try a different approach and eat what we really ‘feel’ like eating. There have been many times in the past when I have sat down to a meal that I haven’t felt like eating, but eaten it anyway and then felt discomfort or even nausea as a result. By being more in tune with our bodies and eating what and when we feel to rather than when we ‘should’ supports us on so many levels, both physical and energetic.
It is a relearning process of feeling and trusting what the body knows to be the right food at the right time and it also requires to investigate the emotional causes that make us want to eat for reasons that are not beneficial neither for the body nor our general state of being. It is quite intriguing how much we use or actually abuse food and eating, personally and as society as seen by the kind of food industry and food consciousness we have allowed to dominate us.
The food industry we see today is quite insane – snacks made out of chemicals, sweeteners inside everything. If food was just a fuel, would it be this complicated? You illustrate so clearly Frank that our diet has much more to do with our feelings and our thoughts than basic nutrition and biology.
I’ve spent many, many a moment thinking about food and not feeling what food. I agree, it’s a continuous process of redefining and feeling where our bodies are at. I feel the more awareness and truth is built in my bodies the more honest I become about food.
This is beautiful: “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” And we might add: “And not just treat it as an automatic response to the clock showing a certain time and the mind determining it is meal time.”
We use food for all sorts of reasons and very little of it has to do with hunger. We use it for comfort, to be stimulated, to dull our awareness, for a reward etc. People can get quite ridiculous about food, for example, I do not eat sugar and everyday I have people at work begging me to eat cake/chocolate so that “they feel better about themselves”. We need to get honest about why we eat things that do not support us and with that honesty we can begin to heal the issues that affect how we eat.
Frank reading your words ‘genuinely hungry’ caused me to reflect on how I too have been experimenting with the effects of different foods and hunger. I can be what I am convinced is ‘genuinely hungry’ and yet if I don’t actually stuff something in my mouth immediately, I can be amazed that only minutes later I can suddenly be as disinterested in food as I was interested in food only moments earlier. And so what is ‘genuine hunger’ to those of us who have fridges stuffed with food, perhaps those hunger pangs are really only pangs of wanting to bury something rather unpleasant, like a reaction or an emotion that is surfacing in our bodies.
What, how and why we eat makes a HUGE difference to our health, vitality and awareness. Far more than we realise. Since I have become more aware and more loving about my eating choices my life and well-being has improved stratospherically.
It’s interesting how we can continue to consume foods that have adverse effects on the body. We must be getting more out of the food to withstand the reactions and displeasure that certain foods leave behind.
Maybe sometimes we consume food that has an adverse effect on the body precisely because we want to have those reactions and numb or make ourselves less. If that is the case then it is worth considering why we do that and what is it that we don’t want to feel or be aware of? Could it at times be our awesomeness?
Thank you for sharing Frank. It is so true that when we listen to what we truly feel our whole body and being is nourished. That’s the fullness, that can never be satisfied if we are eating for any other reason.
Its interesting to observe how food can be on my mind for so much of the day, but a lot of the time its not related to being hungry.
Allowing myself plenty of time to prepare and cook a meal is essential to support my body through the food choices I make otherwise I end up eating food that is convenient. Sometimes I prepare food in advance for myself and others which also supports my body. I am beginning to realise that my relationship with food is just as important as any other relationship I have in my life.
This is definitely something I know i need to do re-evalute .. it is just a case of loving myself more.
“The process then was one of self reflection”; the words and intent behind what you have expressed here Frank could be applied to all aspects of our lives.
My relationship with food is an unending process and extremely exposing of where I really am rather than where I would like myself to be in my evolution. No getting away with things that don’t support the body, it’s just when I am willing to stop hurting myself that marks a change.
When food becomes about a relationship rather than rules, it becomes easy to listen to what your body truly requires.
Food is a daily, moment by moment choice “am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat”
I have come to learn that food is a reliable crutch and medication for all manner of feelings we seek to numb and discount yet, equally food can support our body to be vital and nourished in order to hold the magnificence we are.
I am learning that there is a big difference between genuine hunger and a craving, and a whole world of evolution on offer in discerning the difference.
A great topic to bring up Frank. It’s not even that we eat foods in response to hunger any more, but instead eat foods in response to a visually enticing or stimulating meal/snack, boredom or obligation! What if, as you’ve shared, we turned this around and not only ate in response to when we actually feel to, but also take the time to choose something we really feel like rather than something convenient.
Awesome blog Frank with lots to reflect on. Whilst just driving home I could feel how I put the brakes on in my life, how I constantly hold back from being all that I am. One way I do this is with food; I eat foods that ‘put the brakes on’ so to speak. Crazy I know as why would I not want to be and live all that I am? But that is what I am currently doing. Also how often do we eat when we are not actually even hungry? I know I do this, there have been a few days where I have had only a little to eat but have felt amazing and my body has felt really strong so it is a complete myth that food gives us our strength. I have also experienced a false alarm of being hungry where my body protested that it was hungry but when I really listened it wasn’t. Then there is what our body wants to eat versus what our taste buds and spirit want to eat! Food is definitely an individual unfolding and evolving process for all .. although currently for most it is not truly evolving!!! Definitely work still in progress but the more we truly love ourselves the more this changes with ease, no trying and no dieting.
Food is something I have been experiencing with too.I also use to eat due to habit, breakfast, lunch and dinner. But soon realised my body was not liking that all the time. When I started listening to my body more, i was able to tune into when I was hungry and when I was not. This has helped a lot as I am no longer just eating due to habit or because to dull. Now I eat because the body is hungry. I am still refining what I am eating, but that is a work in progress..
We can happily ditch cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and other substances when the time comes as these are things we don’t need for optimum health. Food we need, so how to have a relationship with it that is as healthy as the nourishment it can potentially provide? Developing a true relationship with food has to be a daily choice, starting with the lines of questioning described here.
Yes, so simple! I had a day where I was hungry yesterday but I ate way too much and wasn’t discerning about what I ate or when I ate it, the result being I feel a little like I have been battered today, my head feels heavy, my body feels loaded and I don’t feel as vital as I normally do. Clear choice and clear consequence!
This is a great, timely invitation for me to revisit my relationship with food. I am expecting a busy couple of months ahead and I have been planning how to feed myself during that period – what to bring to work for lunch, and then some for after for the evening as I won’t get home until late – and this definitely comes from an ideal of having to eat 3 meals a day, at certain times of a day. This feels like I already think how draining the next 2 months is going to be and I have to compensate the lack of vitality I may experience. And the feeling I am getting now is that yes, that is a very valid point and important to prepare for it, but not instead of, but as well as looking at how I go about my day in my interaction with others and how I express myself which I know has been having a big impact on how I feel at the end of the day.
Food is like money. It is, in and of itself, quite neutral, a tool for living – it is we who turn it into something else, attaching to it in all kinds of ways, misusing it and abusing ourselves – and, ultimately, all others as they are affected by the quality with which we present.
This is a great point Victoria. We can either eat to support our connection with the Universe, the Body of God in which we are held or, we can eat to bludgeon our senses so that this connection is not felt for the absolute beholding it always is despite our seeming disconnection to it.
Very true Victoria – we can use the healthiest of foods to abuse ourselves, no different to eating half a cake.
Food is an ongoing process of learning for each of us – we can use Food to evolve or to delay.
Agree food is a daily choice if not moment by moment choice. Because what you choose in each moments dictates what you may eat in the future.
So true Frank, when you feel what your body needs to eat it leaves you with a much more satisfied feeling as opposed to when you eat for the taste you want or just what you normally have- I find I don’t digest food as well if I do this.
Great summary – not treating “food as an automatic response to hunger”. There are so many belief systems around food, about how often and how much we should eat and what is right for lunch but not for dinner or breakfast, leave alone how often we should eat and that snacking and ‘treats’ are needed and now an accepted and normal part of the daily fare. No wonder our bodies react with unsettlement and unease.
True Frank – there’s lots to consider with food but in essence it’s quite simple if you just let the body do the decision making.
Great to ponder this Frank – especially just after Christmas and New Year. Not only is it about what we eat but how it is prepared in my experience. Food prepared with the grace of our full presence always feels better than that which is not. We can bring love to the food we prepare, just as we can bring love to everything we do.
Totally agree Richard bringing more detail to how we precieve a meal really supports us.
Allowing ourselves not to be run by ideals and beliefs around food is a great start to be able to listen to the body and not the mind. When it comes to food choices, it seems crazy that we let the mind rule the roost, it’s not the one that needs to digest our choices… the body does!
There is a huge difference when we eat something our body wants instead of eating to numb or dull ourselves, and what I have discovered is that I actually do not get that hungry and then this belief kicks in which says you will get too skinny so you have to eat. There is also this belief which tells me that I should be interested in food all of the time and if I am not then there is something wrong with me, but in those moments I am not hungry so why be focussed on food – makes no sense.
Food is an ongoing evolutionary process, as long as we eat we will be constantly tuning into our inner feelings as to what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. For me it is refining all the time, sometimes I reintroduce an item when I feel to eat it but the main thing for me is to not give my power away to the energy food can hold us in, be it guilt, or regret, stimulation, excitement, etc.
What a great conversation Frank. Because we do need to eat, we are faced with the food phenomena every day. It therefore has great potential to distract, numb, harden me if I so choose. Conversely, I know food and my relationship with it has the potential to be a key player in supporting me to be so much more of who I am.
Great point! I am so aware that I eat in order to numb a lot of the time, that’s no news to me. However, what I realised reading this was that there’s nothing wrong to be hungry and eat something that will nourish your body. Thank you Frank!
Frank this is just great to read, thank you. I can feel that although my diet from the outside looks incredibly healthy, my body doesn’t always agree with my choices. Reading your blog I realise how often I still go into automatic pilot with my choices for breakfast, lunch or dinner and not feeling whether I actually need to eat at that time and also if my usual ‘go to’ is what my body is asking for. The next step for me is to bring a daily loving consistency to my food choices, asking my body first, not my head.
When we start to look at food as a type of energy that we are fueling ourselves with, it makes sense that if we choose a quality of food that is light and nourishing our bodies will respond in kind.
It is great to bring ‘Thought to food’ as so much of our eating comes from the head and not truly from what the body is feeling….
I sometimes think about the food I eat as just the same as the air I breath in or the energy or emotions I absorb from around me. I see my body as a finely tuned instrument and it is designed to run best on a pure form of fuel. When I eat badly, in a rush, absentmindedly, or not the food or amount my body wants, it is like a dirty fuel or a poison in my system. Done on a daily basis this really adds up.
What a great experiment. The honesty about what you are eating and why seems so simple yet most of us don’t do this examination of our eating habits. It’s like we are defiant teenagers who just want to eat whatever we want without question. I have done a similar experiment and it actually feels great to be that honest with yourself and about food. It is surprising what you discover about how much autopilot there is in the way we eat. Bringing your body into the equation and what it wants to eat can break this.
It’s a great call to choose the food that supports us as that moment comes up when actually eating is supportive and nourishing (and not being used for distraction, numbing and reward).The simplest meal can taste exquisite and be incredibly satisfying, this is a sure indicator that our bodies are being honored.
Such an awesome blog Frank and a great reminder to always check in with our bodies to feel what is needed before we go shoving food in out of a pattern or to not feel something. This is a work in progress for me and when I get really honest with how I am using food throughout my day to dull myself or to reward myself it is interesting how often this can happen if I am choosing to stay unaware, if I make a different choice to not use food at these times I certainly feel a lot lighter and more expanded.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” – amazing how much we can learn when we tune into the body and how it feels with foods. Frank, what you have shared here is very valuable, and a good take home message for us all to ponder on. Thank you!
This is a constant review – what to eat, when, how much and why. It is something I certainly haven’t mastered but my body tells me very clearly whether what I’ve eaten suits it or not. It is a constant experiment for me as sometimes the food is ok, but it is the quantity that affects me if I eat too much.
So true Frank – I’ve changed my diet somewhat lately and introduced a lot more greens and fresh herbs as a foundation for my meal and it feel much more supportive and it fills me up better also. Before I could eat lots of meat/protein and then something else and occasionally eat salad on the side. Thank you for the share, and food in general is such a huge topic as we know so there is quite a lot to comment on. I might revisit! Bye for now.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Thank you for a great article Frank one that I need to consider more deeply. After preparing food for fifty odd years coming from what I though was good for me it is taking some time to learn to come from what I am feeling in how my body reacts to certain foods.
Food is often used to numb our feelings, a reaction to our hunger as you write. It is a very ingrained mechanism, so it is great to uncover this and feel what we truly need.
It is amazing how much we find we use food when we start looking at what we are eating and why we are eating and also how we then feel after eating. I know for me I find I can easily overeat or eat something when I do not want to feel what is going on for me. It is just like switching on the tv to be distracted – food really is no different. Yes we do need food as we have a body but in no way do we need all the array that is on offer. Something I find with food and any other method I have used to distract myself with is that the moment I have a little bit I want more, effectively I am never satisfied. Whereas when I eat what I feel I need to eat to support my body I know how much to eat, when to eat and what to eat and then I am not left wanting more.
It is worth bringing more awareness to what, when, when, how and why we eat as it makes a huge difference to our well-being when we eat to support our body and not for all the other reasons we eat!
Thanks, Frank. Food is a great and regular opportunity to practise really feeling our bodies and what is truly needed to support us.
We often seek to eat to make us feel full, but are we ever going to truly feel full when we are not 100% full of ourselves in life?
Love the title Frank!
Eating choices are asking me to evolve and support the body in this expansion. It is a daily challenge in honestly feeling what is needed for the body to stay light and connected.
A great subject to open up for discussion – how often do we eat just because it’s meal time and how often do we reach for what is convenient and fits the picture rather than feeling into what is truly needed?
We have so many ideal and beliefs around food, none are worth holding onto. One thing I’ve learnt is that it’s forever changing what I can and can not eat. A continual movement as I move and expand.
It’s never just what we eat but when and why we reach for certain foods. With this understanding it makes situations in life make more sense. Like why I or another chooses to eat what they do, it’s like we eat in reaction to the world rather than responding to messages from the body.
A brilliantly transparent article that shows the power in being open and honest around food. I too am forever evolving my relationship with food. Recently I have done the occasional day of fasting. It’s incredible. Not necessarily because of how I feel (although I do feel great) but because it totally and utterly undermines all the stories we tell ourselves about how we must be hungry, we must eat 3, 2 or 1 meal a day, etc. It’s amazing, really amazing, to see first hand and very directly, all the lies we have been telling ourselves.
Frank, this is gorgeous because I love the way you talk about choice. You describe how food does not have to be an automatic response and that there is always a choice which is actually coming from listening to what your body is asking for. But, you take this even deeper by allowing that bodily request to be what ever it is because when you hear it you do not then override it and push forward with your own ideas about what is right. Just allowing and responding to what is being felt.
It’s so easy to be dishonest when it comes to food. We can numb ourselves so easily so we then don’t feel the emotion we are trying not to feel, and we don’t feel the effects of the food. We can just then continue on as if nothing has happened. Getting honest with food takes willingness and commitment and whole lot of love for oneself. We need to love ourselves more than we love the food.
Food is a very personally and daily choice, which is something I have to come to understand. The more I listen to my body the more I get directed to what I should eat, if I am not connect, then my choices are not as supportive, and my body reflects this in my movements after.
It is pretty awesome to get honest about food and asking yourself – am I really hungry? when you are about to eat is a great question to ask yourself. I would say that 50% of the time when I eat, I am not really hungry and a cup of tea would do just as well.
In is important to remember that we either can eat to dull ourselves from feeling our responsibility in life or we can eat to support and nourish our bodies in such a way that we can stay in connection with our essence and from there can stay in connection with, and read the world.
I can sometimes use rough moments the same way in which I use to use food when I was upset. Example, today I had an argument with someone and straight after I was hurting, sometimes when I hurt, I go to the fridge and just start shoving things in my mouth but this time I just started banging things around in the kitchen instead. It’s going to sound super weird but after a bit of smash, bang, boom, it relieved me…..Just like chocolate did in the past. My question is, is relief what we are truly looking for? Or would we really enjoy healing the issues and being free of it…..All of it, the movements and or chocolate, the thought and or the hurt?
Food is not an issue. What we do is to use it to create issues for ourselves.
I love rereading your blog Frank and I appreciate your wise words about ‘thought for food’. What a great question, am I genuinely hungry? is; what we eat certainly has a huge impact on our quality of daily life and our ability to be truely ourselves.
I can call it an art to just eat to nourish the body and to not satisfy any need for a taste, a mood or to numb any uncomfortable feeling in my tummy.
Thank you Frank. I get the sense that my body is loud and clear when it comes to food, it’s my ideals and beliefs that get in the way of the messages my body communicates. I think I ‘deserve’ a reward or that morning means breakfast when the truth could be far from this. I also love being reminded that our bodies are constantly changing in line with our choices and the food that supports us is constantly changing too. All the more reason to listen to our bodies.
I love that food is a constant reflection of how we are living in every aspect of our lives. We cannot escape ourselves!
Food is a funny thing that when given free rein, used to control my life and to some extent it still does. Recently, after attending a Universal Medicine Retreat in Vietnam the thought came up where I was feeling hungry. One could think that this is a normal thing! On this occasion ‘it was not’, for it was only 2 hours after I had just finished a huge 4-hour breakfast, which involved many courses and a variety of food. I went from table to table and continually refilled my plate with an abundance of food. So when someone said they were hungry 2 hours later my first reply was ‘so am I’ but then on reflection, I thought no way can I be hungry and the hunger pains immediately left allowing me to feel satisfied. This was a huge shift in my consciousness around food and how it is controlling by my body by its controlling thoughts. Thank God for Serge Benhayon for bringing to my awareness that our body is the marker of all truth! So I now listen to my body more than that silly thought saying ‘I must be hungry’.
It’s a great question to ask ourselves if we are hungry rather than just eating because it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner. I am a real fan of listening to my body and the wisdom that lies within it.
I like how you’re approaching this as an ongoing process Frank – “Foods that suit me now may not in the future, and foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now, or at some point in the future.” And I also find that I may not feel great after eating a certain food because of the Way I was eating it – e.g too much, or when I didn’t really need it, but was just wanting to not be aware of something I was feeling.
Eating when I am not hungry is something for me to watch…it’s all too easy to go for that comfort and when I do, the feeling of numbing is very apparent.
Yes Frank, the effect food has on our body is always worth noting as it is great not to feel dulled, numbed, bloated, or racy.
Food is such an amazing personal reflection of where we’re at in life, I know I can tell a lot about what I’m feeling, and my day and the things I don’t want to feel or block out by the way I eat and what I eat at night. It’s a great marker at the end of the day for how the day has gone and what I might need to work on tomorrow.
Love the simplicity of this blog and a great message in honouring our bodies and feeling into what they need at any given time.
I love this Frank, I get the sense that the body loves it when we feed it the exact food it needs. There is so much room for nurturing ourselves when we prepare the food that will fuel us.
‘… am I genuinely hungry? ‘ A great question to ask Frank, one that I ask myself….and the answer is mostly no. I am loving not using food as a short fix, pep-me-up in my day . Apart from steadying my body and being, I have so much more time!
Indeed Jenny, ‘… am I genuinely hungry?’. We are taught or brought up to think we should have 3 meals a day plus morning and afternoon snack – at least that is how I saw it – but are we then eating because we think we should rather than because we are feeling hungry? I know for me mostly when I ask myself am I hungry usually it is a no!
Food as a daily choice is a great way to look at it – that and knowing that food is not the issue but the end result, i.e I know I’ll comfort eat if I’ve had something happen in my day that didn’t feel very nice. But instead of nominating that, I’ll just eat to feel better – but nothing is resolved and so a bad habit is developed. We use food to not face things.
I agree HM bad habits are easy to begin in an avoidance of dealing with our feelings and as such it is just as simple to create a supportive habit of acknowledging your feelings.
Lately before eating I have been asking myself am I genuinely hungry and most of the time the honest answer is no. I will eat when I am feeling tension all around me and don’t want to feel so much, I will eat when I feel I have done something good as some kind of reward. It is amazing for me to see how much of the time I am eating to numb myself and take the edge of life rather then for true nutrition.
I was caught in a runaway train of food indulgences and would be very much from the same feeling of tension due to not wanting to feel my full connection. When I claim myself as a Son of God in all my Livingness, food drops away as an issue. Over indulgence when I do eat is still something I am working on and as you have shared Samantha this has to effect how ‘true nutrition’, which is an essential part of any eating rhythm, contributes to my vitality by nutritional uptake by absorption. When I over-eat I am bloated, so I must lack absorption of nutrients. Now it is up to me to bring a greater understanding of what Miranda Benhayon has shared and that is to “Eat Light to Be Light”.
Gosh so true Samantha – Serge Benhayon has helped me to understand that hunger is not simply a physiological necessity, undressing all sorts of ideals and beliefs around food in general.
There is so much to our eating food that it’s an amazing discovery of ourselves, rather than a chore.
Eating is an important activity. It is key to keep us within a certain range of denseness that is crucial to regulate how much we can feel life.
Absolutely love this blog. There is much around diets and “healthy eating” that tell us what to eat, what’s good for our body, mind and even soul! However as you have described, the most nourishing and nurturing choice is to listen to what our body is calling for, whatever that may look like from another perspective.
“Food is a daily choice” – this is something we often forget. There is so much auto pilot action when it comes to food, it can be so easy to forget that we are living, evolving humans beings in the drivers seat and that not only do we have choices about everything, but that each day is different.
Feeling what to eat vs being seduced by what others are eating is a tricky one for me. I have always lived food, and since cleaning up my diet, there are many foods I choose to no longer eat, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get food envy from those around me. It is no surprise when I feel dull, lethargic and even a bit sick sometimes after eating, if I have not checked in with my body to see what it needs rather than what my eyes tell my brain it likes the look of.
Eating because it’s that time of day is a huge one. We are taught to be so systematic, taught to respond in a certain way to situations and it’s all very calculated. I have a belief that I am always hungry…but this is not true. When I am full of purpose in my day – which is important to note, is different to being so busy and stressed that I don’t have time to think about food – I don’t feel hungry. I feel hungry the moment I feel the slightest challenge come up for me, or if I’m not clear on what I’m doing, or if I think I’m bored. I reach for food as a distraction from what I’m doing about 90% of the time. This is a clear indication that I eat way more than my body needs. It’s very interesting to observe and begin to understand.
I have discovered that my natural time to feel like eating in the morning is not until about 11 or later. My body is ready then and I usually don’t feel hungry before that. This feels great after years of making myself eat breakfast when it was the last thing I wanted. Amazing how we do things without question just because it is the expected and accepted ‘norm’.
Thank you Frank for sharing, I definitely have set mealtimes and at times find it difficult to know what food my body wants to eat if at all. I have started to pay more attention to how my body reacts to certain foods and those I can easily eliminate from my diet.
It’s so true that the ‘norm’ is to base our mealtimes on what’s shown on the clock-face rather than when we actually feel hungry. This regime that we follow can very easily lead us to eat more than needed or not at the true times when our bodies actually calls for food.
Are we genuinely hungry….this is a question I have asked myself on many many occasions, it has been pretty exposing to feel that what I have always considered hunger is in fact a kind of yearning to dampen feelings that arise within me, like sadness and exhaustion etc. What I have noticed is that when I eat to smother these feelings I become harder in my body and hence can push through all these feelings without having to feel the truth of my vulnerability and sensitivity.
‘ What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger’ – this is a great point Frank to feel what to eat rather than just put food into the body because that is what you have to do to survive and because it makes you feel good. The food we choose to consume often holds the answer to what is going on deep within us that we might not want to know about. It may also confirm the level of truth we are living at that time.
This is the perfect blog for me to read today as I am needing to take a closer look, not some much at what I eat, but how much and how often I eat, many times totally overriding the feeling that I don’t actually need to eat but do so because I have been programmed to eat at a certain time. This programming is so ingrained that it is taking a while to break through, but gradually I am starting to really listen to how much I eat and when I eat; a work in progress, but a body honouring one, so well worth the commitment.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the taste of your food. However, with regards to taste, it is worth considering this. Our tastes are adaptable, and can be easily manipulated. For example, remove salt from your diet for 12 months – completely. Then have something you would not have ordinarily considered salty, such as tuna from a can in olive oil. The salt content will be immediately noticeable and your body will most likely register it as too salty. What is my point? We cry that we love food, especially the “bad stuff”. But the truth is that for the most part those things food is an acquired taste, and therefore you can in time acquire a taste for healthy food. Of course our relationship with food is not all that simple, and there is much more too it. But that realisation on its own assists one to step outside the entrapping belief that we “love our wine.” Wine, and beer for that matter, after all, is definitely an acquired taste for most people, and certainly not pleasant to taste at first. Therefore, there have to factors other than taste than first attract us to certain foods that we clearly know are not good for us.
Wow, it is a completely different relationship with food when eating from our hearts and now our heads.
It is inspiring to read how you look at food as a daily choice rather than a response to hunger and keep open to the fact that our relationship with food can be one big experiment – where is my body at today and what will support it rather than – oh it’s morning so therefore I’ll have breakfast and that will be eggs because it’s routine.
Food is a great subject as it is plays such an important role in most people’s lives. Many cultures are renowned for their food. Most of us have been brought up eating three meals a day plus morning and afternoon tea, without ever questioning whether we are really hungry or what our body actually needs. This is so simple and yet so amazingly true; “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.”
Great reading your blog Frank as I have been questioning my food intake and especially why I eat when I am not hungry just because it’s the times of day when most will eat. Also that I am eating food which is nice to taste rather than listening to my body. So your blog was a great reminder to stop and connect to my body.
‘foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now,’ this is very true, we can often live by knowledge, a picture in our head rule book – ( not only with food but all of life ) – the I can’t eat this, or I can eat that because someone else said so or is / is not’ – with this dismissing the truth of our body, which is extremely harmful on so many levels, it actually physically hurts, instead of listening to the wisdom our body constantly shares with us. My feeling is eat it, learn and grow, then at least you know with absolute truth what is right for you – and what is not.
” be very honest ” this is the key for us all – for life – to get back to reality. We often live in the belief that we are doing okay – that sugar coated life is great, but really people/ we are calling for support. We have this belief that we are living life, when there is so much more, an endless wealth of wisdom and love beyond our minds, for now.
This is an interesting thought – “how I reacted to the food” for we can react to food before we even eat it – going into our heads and all the ideals, beliefs and pictures we have of the, I should eat this or I should eat that, and comparison – instead of simply listening to our body. What works for one may not work for another. I find this can come laced with judgement from ourselves and or others. We can treat our bodies with disregard by living from these pictures. So if we are eating by rules, pictures, shoulds, comparison, ideals and beliefs, then there is no love there.
Yes so many people will recognize going on automatic pilot when we seem to have signs of hunger – but how we are unable at some times to feel what it actually is that we need ; foodwise too. Thank you Frank – clear and straight. We need honest people, we all do.
Frank what you have shared is wonderful – We have a tendency as a society to go into autopilot around food – in other words, we eat when it is a meal time, we eat what is convenient and we eat the amount that is served rather than actually taking note of whether or not we are hungry, what we might actually feel like eating and how much.Then there is also the ‘convenience foods like sandwiches (how many of us might say “if I’m not having a sandwich then what am I going to eat for lunch”) – bread and sandwiches are a classic convenience food. Breaking this autopilot around food can take a bit of focus and a willingness to explore outside the box. Thanks for sharing in such simple and real terms about food and the changes we can make to tune into the body more.
In any conversation that you have with anyone, the more you connect and share and listen, the deeper and more meaningful the conversation gets – we all know that – it is exactly the same as having a conversation with our bodies. We have to connect, share, listen. Just by pausing for a beat; before taking stuff off the supermarket shelves, before cooking, before eating.. all or any of these moments is the beginning of the deepening of that conversation. And I have been amazed at what me and my body have been talking about. And I reckon we are still only at the “hello, nice to meet you stage”!!
To me, this whole planet is totally over run by food. It’s used as control, comfort, celebration, business etc. We either have heaps of it or nowhere near enough. A lot of it doesn’t make sense to me, how can some be dying from over eating and others from starvation? There is a lot there to look at and a great place to start is our own relationship with it.
It is amazing how much we use food to suppress what we are feeling. I continually experiment with food and find that often when things get tough or something comes up I do not want to deal with instantly I feel hungry even though I am not really hungry. By not instantly turning to food I give myself the space the feel what it is, deal with it and then hey presto I do not actually feel hungry or want to eat! It is a great experiment with food, what I eat, how much and how often. Something I have found is generally we eat far more than we actually need to eat.
“I haven’t got all the answers and I also know that this is an ongoing process which needs to be continually reviewed”.
What struck me in this sentence Frank is that our eating patterns need to be an ongoing process of refinement and review; based on markers in our bodies.
Do any other mammals eat three meals a day just for pleasure?
Just stopping to ask the question if what my body wants to eat can give me enough space, enough of a continuation of old momentums, to realise that my body doesn’t actually want anything to eat. I have found it amazing to really appreciate how often it is a craving or issue, or reaction that I am feeling rather than a genuine physiological hunger. It’s huge – talking of huge – look at the average size of the world’s population – super obvious that something more than straight hunger is being medicated by the amount of food that is getting eaten.
Our bodies are our greatest markers of truth. So, as we change so too must we be open to changing what we put inside our bodies. Simple evolution.
Eating may be one of the ways through which we get identified by others. When this happens, there is a feeling that we have to live up to it.
Diet is part of the relationship that we have with ourselves. It is very revealing of what we are trying to achieve in life.
This is indeed “thought for food” and you bring a very simple approach to the relationship with food that is possible.
This is a great program to put ourselves on “am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat… was it to dull or override another feeling?” just asking myself that question every time I was hungry changed the way I eat completely.
Food, and our relationship with it, is GINORMOUS. And I think one of the biggest issues facing the world right now, especially with lifestyle diseases being our no 1 killer. So this blog is super important because it is an easy and simple way to start looking at your relationship with food. And what you summarised here, “what I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat”, is gold and supports us to not eat what we feel but feel what to eat as the very wise Miranda Benhayon once said.
It feels so true that because we have a certain relationship with food we eat as we do. But do we ever stop and question ourselves from where we have build that relationship from? Is it from what we have learned to be the norm or because everybody we live with is doing or have we felt form within when and what to eat? I for myself can say that I was like you Frank, my relationship with food was one of that I have been taught in my upbringing, having fixed moments in the day for breakfast, lunch and dinner but I have never been asked to listen to my body and to respond to that with regards to food. I am now in the process of letting this old pattern go and to respond more to what my body is asking for instead and what I recognise is that my relationship with my body is changing as I am now in honour of the wisdom that lives within and in away this is very liberating.
This line should be on everyones fridge
‘What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.’
We can eat the same diet day in day out out of habit and comfort. Our diet can also be very culturally influenced. But as you share Frank ‘Foods that suit me now may not in the future, and foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now, or at some point in the future’ and these are facts we always need to consider.
Many, many years ago I realised how food is not simply there to be be eaten as a pleasure, filler or because I felt hungry or for whatever reason. I saw it was about nourishing my body, so from that point I have had a forever changing diet though my relationship with food has become more stable. My choices in food can either be confirming and building or a very clear reflection of where my body is at because of what I think I want to eat, and I am not feeling otherwise.
Food is such an interesting topic and it brings up so much for many of us! Should I have this or that are all thoughts I have had. What has changed is that I now ask my self how am I going to feel after eating this or that and then atleast I have the awareness before I eat it or not! It then becomes a conscious choices rather than simply grabbing for or eating what is in front of me.
What is interesting is realising that any food can be stimulating, even if there is no sugar or caffeine in sight. The healthiest of foods can be stimulating if it is used for that purpose.
I am becoming more aware of the foods my body want, it is a daily process as my body chooses differently each day.
My relationship with food is changing more and more with the more love I have for myself, which is lovely to feel. It is becoming my true connection and steadiness in my body that is more important than what I eat … which is what it should naturally be but instead we use food not to feel what is truly going on and to dull ourselves and our light.
Food is one ingredient that conforms the package of our daily choices regarding what we choose for our body.
Food is an amazing area of our life where we can further our development with honesty.
At least from time to time, the body is supposed to be irregular in how it reacts to our diet since it is the way to communicate to us that we may need to change it.
Wow! This highlights for me how much we use food to bring us some sort of stimulation in life, when the only true fulfillment can come from living full of ourselves. That is living life to the fullest of our potential.
There is always so much you could write about food, how we love it, use it, complicate life with it, numb ourselves with it, celebrate with it, and the list could go on and on. We are not able to control how we are with food a lot of the time, due to the consciousness that surrounds it. That we are to eat 3 square meals a day, eat certain foods at a those times, then should you deviate from that, it is seen to be radical or following some diet, instead of feeling what the body needs or feels like. This is a foreign concept to many as we have lost touch with what it feels like to listen to our body, instead we listen to the mind, that can tell us things and allows ourselves to feed ourselves whenever we want to, whether our body wants it or not. So this really comes down to our relationship with ourselves, our connection to our body and our willingness to listen.
And it really must be said that for most of the people that I know and would meet, they would not be many who would really know the feeling of hunger, who have stopped stuffing themselves for long enough to be able to start to feel what the body is actually asking for, and to start to find a true balance with eating.
We can have such a complicated relationship with food – using it for comfort, to numb, distract, reward, self-abuse…..so it is so wonderful to feel how simple, nurturing and supportive it can be if we but listen to what our bodies feel to eat and when, instead of being ruled by the desires and urges from our minds.
Learning what foods work for my body is an ongoing process of discovery. I love how responsive my body is, it lets me know very loudly when something is not okay for it. On the other hand it also lets me know if what I am doing is supporting it. The body is very interactive if we allow it to be, a great marker of truth.
Thank you Frank, this is a supportive and wise blog to read. I love, and really appreciate, the way in which you consistently feel into and review what you eat; a work always in progress.
Your reflections are certainly food for thought and inspirational.
It is quite a commitment to self-reflect each time you are feeling hunger to determine first if the hunger masks something you don’t want to feel and if not, to feel into what to eat that will truly support you… however clearly it is worth choosing honestly and wisely and the reward far greater than whatever fleeting pleasure food can provide.
The food for thought that is provided in this blog is definitely wholesome.
I have the habit of simply seeing food as fuel for the body, but as you describe Frank there is another level to consider. A level which asks us to be present in every moment otherwise who knows what could slip into our mouths.
A very revealing blog Thank you.
The funny thing that I have come to realise is that when I eat what I feel to eat it always tastes good and yet when I go for what I think will taste good it often falls short of the mark.
This is GOLD Frank – thank you for your sharing: “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.”
Frank, this is a great read as it really challenges many ideals and beliefs about food. The biggest one for me is eating because it is a meal time without truly asking my body if it needs food at that time.
Food is one of those topics that is never out of fashion – we have an ongoing and ever evolving relationship with food. I can see how I take the easy option around food and I am not always willing to look any deeper. This blog will inspire me to take another look and to understand more of the intricacies of how I respond and with what level of care I nurture myself. It is a fundamental part of our lives and yet we tend to only give it fleeting attention, when the consequences of what we eat has a lasting impact on how we respond to our day.
“I haven’t got all the answers and I also know that this is an ongoing process which needs to be continually reviewed” What I am finding is that when I am ‘full’ of me, feeling connected and at one with myself I don’t need to eat as much and my tastes also change.
This difference between what tastes nice as opposed to what supports the body is such a simple yet fundamental paradigm that as you say Frank, is an issue our whole lives. The sugar and salt of today’s modern diet taste amazing and yet they have a multitude of consequences that don’t support our bodies. Just look at the levels of diabetes worldwide…
Ha just when I was reflecting on my relationship with food I saw your blog, perfect timing! How often do we review the foods we are eating? As you share ‘does it feel right for me?’ The majority of us don’t; we eat what we want, the same foods everyday regardless of the affect they have on our bodies or what our bodies are truly asking for. People say to me gosh you have a really healthy diet, and I do (no gluten, no dairy, no nuts, no caffeine, no or little sugar in the form of fruit) but, what I am really feeling at the moment is how I do not feel with my food! Not truly what my body needs, in fact it is strongly saying to me I am giving it too much food and overeating. So I love the point you have made here about stopping and feeling what to eat … or not! It maybe our body just would like some water. I definitely agree that our relationship with food is constant refining and work in progress.
Constantly reviewing and being playful in experimenting with food choices is important and something that takes the guilt or any self-criticism out of the way. Our relationship with food is an unfolding process and we need to allow movement and space to come to what is true for our bodies from our bodies and not from the mind and what we think is ‘right’.
The simple question of ‘am I hungry?’ – is so powerful because it leads to the opportunity to expose the reasons behind why we want to eat (and most of the time it’s got nothing to do with hunger!)
For me, when I want to eat I do it quite fast because I don’t want the reasons behind it to be exposed. This is changing the more I feel the effects of my over eating and choice of food. The dullness and haziness in my vision, bloated belly and mental confusion are all telling me loud and clear that I was not eating out of hunger. So is the food or what I do not want to feel really worth all of these effects? No.
I have also experimented with this Frank where I have prepared something to eat that was not my initial intention and was actually more effort but was more inline with what I actually felt like eating. The response from the body is far more positive when we honour what it’s asking for. The extra effort goes a very long way!
Gosh, food has the biggest grasp on us. It’s a verrrrry slow process, so I’ve found, to actually feel whether you are in fact hungry or if you eat because others around you are and/or the clock tells you to.
I’ve had many a panic of not being prepared enough with food, when often it’s just that I get ‘food envy’, when I see others eating – I want to join them, every time. And in that, there is often little regard to how I actually will or do feel afterwards. It’s so interesting just to observe for a few moments what’s actually going on for us when we reach for food throughout the day.
“My focus throughout was to be very honest and feel each and every reaction to all the different foods I was eating.” How our bodies feel not only when eating food but also in every fact of life is a beautiful marker of evolvement for us all to consider and explore. We are always learning and exploring the details of our lives whether it be the foods we consume, picture we may hold that are no longer serving us or movements we make. We are always learning that is the beauty of living.
Not living the fullness of who we truly are, invites in an emptiness that sees us seek to fill it with all we are not. Such fillers can be food but they can also be emotions, behaviours and the like.
Until we heal the consciousness of food, our bodies will be battlefields for that part of us that does not want to feel what is there to be felt. And so we reach for foods that numb, dull and desensitise us to such truth while we suffer greatly for the lack of it.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.”
Wouldn’t it be great if this simple wisdom filled sentence could be written on the front page of every cookbook and/or menu? You raise some great points here Frank. A big one for me at the moment is learning to discern the difference between hunger and craving. We eat to live versus we live to eat.
Food must be one of the things that has the biggest hold over us and the biggest impact on our ability to connect and stay present with our self. It is little surprise that most of the population struggles with food one way or the other. Frank this blog presents a very practical way of dealing with what to eat and what not to eat without any fuss.
Thank you for sharing this Frank and highlighting the choice we have, and therefore also the responsibility that goes with the choice of what we put in our mouths. Sometimes if feels like I don’t have a choice or I’m on autopilot, when the reality is that it is always my choice as to what I put in my body.
Other people’s reaction to food choices are also felt e.g. when I choose to eat gf, df or sugar free. I recently came to a similar understanding Frank and that is that I am now choosing to eat the food my body asks for rather than always choosing from foods that are gf, df, sugar free which is what I would usually do. Being free of labels and the impact of others opinions when I make my choices feels amazing.
Food is such a huge one for us all, we use it to numb ourselves, distract ourselves from how we feel, not wanting to see or read a situation, for comforting ourselves also. There are so many many reasons why we go to food. It seems like we go to it for nutritional value last. So it is one that is always unfolding for me, a daily constant assessing and reflecting on.
True Brendan – why are we eating? Is it to support the body and for our health? Is it because we are actually hungry? Is it because it tastes nice? Is it because we can’t handle how we are feeling and want to blot that out? The list goes on and it is worthwhile reflecting on the true reason.
Food is fascinating and something we need to constantly assess and re-assess. After all depending on the way we have been living, what has happened in our day etc.. will all effect what will support our bodies. Given true hunger is not felt for anywhere up to 34 days saying i have hunger pains after not eating for several hours does not make any sense. Something I have learnt by not instantly diving for the snack when I feel the hunger come on I have seen that these ‘hunger pains’ often arise when something has happened that I do not like – i.e. someone has said something or I have felt something I did not want to see! and then by not eating the situation becomes clearer and suddenly the ‘hunger pains’ are gone – so what it is showing me is how much I use and have used food to not feel and understand situations.
Thanks for opening up the conversation about food Frank. There is such a strong consciousness around food, what we should eat, how we should eat it, flavours, needs, how much we eat, when we eat, the list is endless, but how often do we stop to feel what it is the body really wants at that moment, if we did we would not eat most of the foods that we do. I feel the following statement supports us in bringing a deeper awareness to what we eat, rather than eating what we have always eaten and assuming it is good for us. “Foods that suit me now may not in the future, and foods that I have dismissed previously may actually be beneficial now, or at some point in the future.”
How food tastes and how it feels in the body are two very different things. I am learning to honour my body and note the difference in my choices.
Frank you have opened a ‘can of worms’ here 🙂 It’s a very interesting discovery to know that we can assume something around food and what to eat and when… but until we stop and feel exactly what it is our bodies need and how much then we are just in auto pilot.
I know this pattern well, eating because it is mealtime or because I need a distraction or some stimulation – seeing the amount of food (is it really food?) that is available everywhere now, from petrol stations to previously remote tourist spots, it is quite incredible to ponder on what we actually use food for other than as nourishment for the body.
Thank you Frank for highlighting the reality that what our body needs varies from meal to meal; and dare I say moment to moment. I love the way you feel into, and take responsibility for, what your body requires for health and vitality.
I agree, Frank, every meal needs to be considered whether the body wants food at all and, if yes, what food and, especially for me, how much. Getting all of these right means I have a lot of energy.
Awesome Frank, I love that there is not an ounce of judgement or harshness in what you have shared about your developing relationship with food – just the simplicity that self-reflection brings the opportunity to consider different choices.
Just because it is breakfast time, do we have to eat breakfast? Who said it was breakfast time? Who invented breakfast time? And did that person actually bother to ask their bodies if they were genuinely hungry? Or, is it possible that they had woken up feeling empty and exhausted from the way they had lived (and eaten) the day before, and from the unrestful sleep that they had had because of what they had done (eaten and drunk) the day before…and thus were craving stimulation and energy when they woke up…so decided that they would eat…and decided that it would be called breakfast?
Hahah . . .In answer to your many questions Otto perhaps it was the American brand Kellogg’s with their corn flakes and rice bubbles that made breakfast the most important meal of the day! After all they did do a lot of advertising.
‘What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.’ So true Frank, we have learned to eat to fill us up on certain times and never considered if we really need that much foods on certain times of the day. It feels really freeing to let go all the ideas and believes around food.
I love what you’ve shared here Frank – food is so much more than a “quick fix” to alleviate hunger – or anything else we may be feeling. When we take to time to listen to what our whole body is asking for (not just our tastebuds), meal times become truly nurturing.
And can totally relate when you write about eating out of habit rather than “genuine hunger” – we can get so attached to a routine that we lose connection with the whole point of eating – which is to support and nourish our bodies, not to fill set times in our day.
I’m not unfamiliar with the eating out of routine and because it’s ‘that time of the day’. We take on a lot of ideals and beliefs when it comes to what and when we should eat. It becomes simpler when we listen to our body.
It is a forever unfolding process with food. Over the last few years I have refined and refined my food choices, and I am now not eating certain things that were fine for me a few years ago. Just the other day I felt to stop eating a food that I thought I would eat forever. I have come to a place where feeling vital, alive and clear is more important to me than the brief satisfaction of eating something for a moment. I am constantly feeling how I feel after eating, and if I feel numb, heavy and dull I take a good look at why that might be. It feels wonderful to care so much.
It’s a moment to be consciously present – as in all other moments of the day, whereas most of us are brought up with the pattern that eating is a checking-out-moment. How cruel is it to one’s own body to be checked out whilst putting things into it. As if I wouldn’t want to care if I put gas or diesel in my tank.
I was just thinking about this on the weekend, about how programmed we are to eat at certain times. It’s breakfast – must eat breakfast, it’s lunch – must eat lunch etc… and then how programmed we are to eat certain foods at those times. For example,breakfast ,must have cereal and/or toast. What I love about what you write, is that you are challenging this programming and asking yourself – am I really hungry?? and if so, what do I really feel like eating?? regardless of the time of the day. Go you.
Revisiting this blog was extremely enjoyable, the writing is down to earth and relatable and no matter where the reader might be at with food in their life this blog can be applied. You hold absolutely no judgment for yourself or others, there is no control or any other funny business hidden in this writing, which in my experience can be quite prevalent when talking about food.
Accepting that food needs to be reviewed is something to surrender to.
Allowing ourselves the honesty and greater awareness about why we are eating is important. For me I tend to binge eat when I know there is a lot of work to do that is offering me an opportunity for growth or establish a foundation with where I am at. Despite wanting to honour my body, a part of me knows that indulging this way will make me tired the following day and keep me out of a rhythm that supports this ‘growth spurt’.
To ask and allow ourselves to feel what food is truly supportive for our bodies to eat breaks through a whole lot of consciousness around what we are supposed to eat, what is considered “healthy”.
A great article Frank. “Food is a daily choice” – for me this highlighted the need to be consistent with our choices. It can’t just be about “I made a great choice there with food”, it is an every day thing to keep confirming with our body what it is needing.
Great insight here Frank. I appreciate being reminded that food can be really supportive (and satisfying) if we choose to eat what the body really needs.
That’s an awesome experiment! I’d say on top of eating when it’s not necessary too, I actually over-eat most of the time too. I’m feeling it’s really time to take the reins back when it comes to food and the non-stop indulgence that happens when food is around!
It keeps amazing me what reactions the ‘wrong’ foods can give in our bodies. The obvious ones as bloathing or pain but I found also that it can give bad mood, irritability or a feeling of sadness. These last ones are often not related to food but I found that it can be caused by a eating certain foods.
I find this too Lieke and what I notice also is just how ‘normal’ it is to override these reactions and not truly take the responsibility they are asking for into full account
Figuring out what to eat requires us to deeply connect with our bodies so that we do not miss the subtle messages it is trying to give us about whether what we are eating suits our bodies or not. It requires an attention to detail that I have not known before.
Food has always been a tricky one for me as I tend to have a ” sweet tooth”, but as soon as I have eaten sweet food my body then says savoury is best for me now. A bit like a counter balance!
Being hungry can be such a confusing feeling, I find that sometimes I am really hungry for 10 minutes and then it just disappears, I can also feel hungry shortly after eating, or I can go all day without feeling hungry… so I get the feeling that hunger pains mean so much more than ‘I need food’!!
Brendan essentially you are saying our approach to food is a responsibility, if we consider the way we eat effects the quality of our lives and hence everyone in our lives it suddenly becomes more serious than simply a tummy ache or some bloating from over-eating, or eating the wrong thing. Our indulgence becomes something that adversely effects every person around us.
So many times I have justified to myself why it is ok to eat something I know is definitely not ok to eat, and when I come up with something believable I get the green light to totally disregard what my body is telling me!
Justification around food is a dangerous business! I know that game super well, and I always feel so physically unwell after!! The best moments are when I feel into what and how much to eat as I load up my plate, and then stick to my decision. I find second helpings are often where it all goes wrong and food becomes simply about indulgence.
Oh yes I know that one too well. We instinctively know what is right for us, it is about not allowing our mind to override what we know.
Absolutely “just one won’t hurt” – never has there been more proof that our mind does not usually know what is best for us!
Refining how we eat can be an ongoing process. The way I eat has changed over the years, before I would mostly eat foods that tasted nice to satisfy my need for a ‘reward’. Now I tend to eat to support me feeling awesome which has completely changed my relationship with food.
The issues you have raised in your article around food are really important, and with the constant deepening of awareness comes the regular re assessment of quantity and variety of food that the body needs
The belief we should eat 3 times a day is massive, and I think it brings up panic in most people if you suggest not eating a meal. I’ve found eating less has a beautiful impact on my day, I feel more clear and more fresh. It would be really cool if someone did some real scientific studies on the effect food has on us and our awareness and freshness during the day!
A beautiful blog to come back to Frank in that it reminds me of feeling into what my body needs every time I feel like eating; every time!
Elaine I’d never considered that what we eat effects the quality of our blood, now that really is ‘food for thought’! I’m so aware that food effects the way I feel, for example it can make me feel heavy or light, but I’d never related that to my biology.
I have used food as an entertainment and a distraction rather than a nourishment at times. When I eat to nourish I don’t eat nearly as much. Animals only eat what they need as a rule unless they are domesticated animals where in some cases they adopt or are affected by our emotional behaviours and then it seems to me they also use food to not feel. Hence overweight pets.
‘Am I genuinely hungry? ‘ This question changes everything! I’ve noticed how hunger pains can come and go, one minute you can be ravenously hungry and the next not at all hungry. It for sure makes me question the validity of hunger, and what being hungry is really about.
Yes Meg this is one where I will often override what my body is feeling and eat, just because everyone else is eating or because its dinner or lunch time. I am more aware now that much of my eating is because of feeling anxious or nervous. I am allowing myself to sit with those feelings more and more, rather than numb myself with food.
That’s really cool you are noticing why you are eating more than you need. Though I do that too sometimes, eating from tension, often for me it’s simply an indulgence because I love the taste, it’s interesting though how in that moment I’m not considering the next moment or how my indulgence may effect tomorrow, or the people around me, there’s just a determination to eat! It doesn’t make sense in the grand picture of things.
A great, revealing exercise to do.Imagine if this experiment was done at school in health and physical education. True education.
I can relate to what you share here Monika. If I eat something that is not supportive for my body and not something that I usually eat then I wake the next day with very painful chest and sometimes arms. Like I have a poison in my body.
This is so true Brendan. I notice that I am not as supportive for my children when I am not supporting myself.
Food has an enormous impact on my quality of life in so many areas. If my food choices are not supportive for me then everything else is out of wack also. I dont sleep well, I dont express clearly and I dont have that clarity that I do when I am supporting myself.
You have summed up how food affect me too Heidi. I have also noticed that even food that support on one day, will not necessarily be what works on another day at another time. I am grateful to be able to feel these messages from my body. When I bother to respond appropriately, and not just on autopilot, my whole day flows better.
Such wise words you share here Frank. I have come to a time again where my food intake is not supporting me and I am recognising to a finer detail how different foods feel i my body.
…”food that suits me now may not suit me in the future,” so true Frank. My diet has changed over the years as I change. Food that tastes good doesn’t always suit our bodies, so listening to how we feel is so important. Though, I used to be so numb, not wanting to feel what my body was telling me.
It certainly is. I know for myself that unless I pay very careful attention to not only what I eat but also the quantity and quality in which I eat can make all the difference to having a day where I feel connected to my divinity or not.
The type of food we eat, how we eat and when we eat all contributes to either keeping our awareness open or dulling our awareness. When we eat for evolution rather than to simply fill ouR tummy’s it may look entirely different to how it once did.
This daily update of how I take my food choices as you describe it so beautifully, Frank, can be expanded on all choice-taking throughout our day. The choice of clothes, the choice of friends, the choice of music – never is what supports me static, but if I stick to one choice that once was ok for me, my life stagnates.
Love it Felix. What we choose to eat determines in what energy we will make all other choices throughout the day and vice versa.
Sometimes “yum, yum, yum” can be translated as “numb, numb, numb”!
I like that Jeannette, and oh so true.
Hi Frank. These are powerful reflections on the choices we make around food. Food is a huge pastime for many of us and I often found myself eating foods according to my mood thus using food as a pick-me-up or as a distraction. The kind of responsibility you have introduced here takes eating to a whole new level and the fact that we can pause before we eat and check-in with the body first. Truly inspiring – thank you.
How I eat – maybe I might be anxious or in a rush, affects me just as much as the food and how much I may eat. It’s so very easy to dull myself with food and it’s something I have to be very conscious of and always be open to listening to what my body requires not what I may necessarily want 🙂
This is geest, as I feel it is something I really need to look into, I so often just eat because that’s what I like, but I feel it isn’t always so. My body has different needs at different times.
The more we notice what we are eating and why the more we will know what to eat.
This makes sense Jeanette, as quite often I stand in the middle of the kitchen asking my body what it wants to eat, only to draw a blank – maybe the question should be why do I want to eat.
What I love about this blog is that it questions so many ideals and beliefs we have around food. Your last sentences say it all, that it is an constant refinement and that we can have a relationship with food via feeling in our bodies what it needs at any moment in the day and that this can be always changing.
Many times I have realised I wanted a food that needs more preparation, or I will eat something out of convenience. I never regret the effort to prepare what I know I want, and it is amazing how when we stop and feel we know exactly what our bodies do need. It is a very different feeling than that craving we can get for sugary or creamy food, which for me often comes when I feel an emotion or when I actually feel rather fantastic and want to dull it down, crazy as that sounds.
The choice of what, when, how and how much I eat can be a reflection of how I am living. When I choose to eat something that numbs me then I ask ‘What am I trying to avoid feeling?’
If we listen to the wisdom of the body it speaks loud and clear about what supports our body – a work in progress for me that makes a huge difference in my quality and energy levels.
My relationship with food has always been tricky. I have used food as comfort and distraction, to flatter and to impress. These days I am allowing my body to communicate more what it needs rather than coming from an emotional place. It feels much healthier now and I’m not bound by mealtimes, I just go with what I feel I need.
Yes I agree with that Brendan. What a great way to be inspired to eat by honouring our body and by honouring our responsibility to others. I have noticed all too often we tend to opt for self-satisfaction instead of taking responsibility not just with regards to food but with many things in life.
Great point Brendan, it makes so much sense.
What a great way to choose to eat Brendan. Very inspiring. Our choices with food can affect how we feel, therefore affects how we interact with others. So, choosing foods that supports us is in effect supporting others too. This just shows that our every choice not only affects us but everyone as well.
When we are truly connected to our body we naturally know what to eat, when to eat and the quantity. Our body can lovingly guide us to support us with a natural diet that suits us. Our body is highly intelligent, I am appreciating this more and more.
Frank thank you for sharing your article, food is something we are forever refining, as we get to know and feel our own body more we are able to take out foods that no longer support us. It is amazing how even just the tiniest bit of food can affect the body.
This is something very key here Brendan, we are just so self absorbed when it comes to food, how many people even have the awareness that what we eat can then affect/support others too. Something to feel into more deeply, as I know for me I am not always walking into each day with this intention and being form of mind.
This is a great point Raegan, what we eat affects everybody and everything. Definitely not an understanding I grew up with!
I need to be more conscious of the reactions I have concerning food and spend more time listening to my bodies reactions to same. I do know I have been questioning the timing of meals and also realising I am not really hungry at certain times either.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” This is something I have been coming to realise, as my food choices have been changing, I know feel to eat the foods I use to eat, not feel what use yo nourish me before is nourishing me now. Our bodies do tell us what it feels to eat, it is about stopping and listening to what it’s calling for.
My food choices always indicate whats going on for me. If I can’t stop eating, I’m finding it difficult to stop and feel. If I don’t eat much and don’t feel too, life is flowing through me with no blocks.
What a great realization–”What I now realize is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger”. I too have been paying more attention to how I am with food and am enjoying doing it. There is a lot to learn from how we are around food. I for example usually need to have many reactions to food before I concede that perhaps that particular food is not very good for me. It is all about listening to the body and then importantly acting on what the body is trying to tell us.
I agree Elizabeth, quite often I clock something is not agreeing with me well before I decide to give it up – it’s like being stubborn with the body by saying I’m not giving it up until I get a severe enough reaction, and then I will.
So true, Julie and Elizabeth. I remember feeling to stop drinking alcohol a good 2 years before I finally did, and I have done the same with many other foods since. I am treating my body with much more care these days, so I am responding to what it tells me a lot quicker.
Yes Kim, for me making choices with food is making choices to be either loving or not loving with myself
Thanks for this Frank, this topic is something that is being really exposed at the moment for me. How i am with food and the reasons i am eating. Is it to really nourish and honour my body or am i just eating because i dont want to feel something or to dull myself down
I agree Shirl, what we eat or even how we eat makes a huge difference to the quality we can be.
Sally your so true, it’s not just what we it how we eat. Is it numb or dull or selves or is it to give us vitality and energy. I have been really experiencing theses things in my body. Lately there have been foods I know will dull me and i have wanted to eat it. Very quickly my body reflects to me that choice was not good, so it’s been interesting to go deeper into why I felt to eat that, an what am I trying to dull from. I know something deeply buried needs to be looked at.
Very often we are sold the image in the media of the perfect diet that will solve all our problems, when this is simply not the case. And so, having the strength to listen to one’s own body is very important.
This is so true Sandra, if we hold onto an idea of what is good for us, or not, restricts us from feeling what our bodies need at any given time. I also find that once I can feel the effects of certain foods and the reaction is felt more than once then it is easier to give that food up – my main signals from my body are a thick heavy feeling in my head, headache (sugar) or a mild stomach ache.
This is so interesting, I have never enjoyed having to have breakfast and had difficulty choosing what to eat. Since I started listening to my body I mostly don’t have breakfast, don’t feel the need for it and don’t feel hungry or ready for food till around 11am to 12. My energy levels at work are more even. Amazing how we do things because that is what is accepted or what we are supposed to do. I ask myself now “by who’s say so am I doing this?” and is it necessarily true for me. Mostly it is not.
I agree Jeanette. We are so conditioned to eat at certain times that we override our bodies true needs.
Auto pilot eating recipe for disaster, anything and everything can end up down the hatch and then we’re left in a food coma wondering .. why oh why?
“we are left in a food coma” I like that Jaime Foley, it is an apt description for what happens when we eat on auto pilot, maybe we were already in a food coma and hence auto pilot is the ongoing result, like what came first the chicken or the egg,it feels like a perpetuating cycle and one that could go some way to explaining the obesity problem in the world.
Great point Sandra, I can feel how I fall back into that consciousness all the time. Feeling like I haven’t eaten, honoured what I have been feeling, but then the thoughts come in….
‘oh you haven’t eaten any breakfast, so you ‘should’ eat something now for lunch!’ When actually I am not feeling hungry at all, but this thing comes in that I should be eating at certain times. But there is a sense of empowerment when one listens to the body.
How often do we eat simply because we are board or because its that time of day. I know I can snack and eat all day without ever begin truly hungry, more just board and perhaps tired. With the rising levels of obesity, it is perhaps time we began to look at our almost autopilot habit of eating.
Reestablishing our relationship with food is pivotal. When we truly ask ourselves are we eating to nourish our bodies or eating to numb our bodies – it can be a little confronting to feel just how much we overeat just to avoid what it is we are feeling.
Very true, Deidre. How we eat is as important as the food itself and the way it is prepared. If we bring conscious presence to our choice of what to eat, making a meal and eating it while being present to every bite- sure it will taste lovely and be nurturing to the body.
With not too much left in terms what I want to eat I became rather simplistic too, less adventurous. Sometimes it feels right to have just salad or cucumber. But now when it is cold I am going to prepare some soups and lamb dishes-warming and nurturing.
To be honest, I find food so difficult. In my head I have the should and shouldn’t lists, occasionally I love planning and preparing food, then when I am tired I just don’t care and would happily go to bed without eating but that seems so antisocial. So I appear to be carrying many beliefs about food and duty and these need to go. I love making a salad lunch to take out with me and I feel like I am supporting myself. I know I am overthinking it and just need to feel. I really need to get rid of those should and shouldn’t lists too.
I know that too Amanda, having a should and shouldn’t list on eating and I have used, and for some parts, am still using food to make me feel less after eating while in truth I should only eat to lovingly nurture and support my body and to feel great or even greater, eating in support to expand en evolve my body and being to the next level of awareness and a greater amount of love contained in the body.
Hunger for stimulation, numbness and distraction… I am sure we can all relate to seeking food in this way. I have been realising more and more recently how there is very clearly different forms of hunger, one that comes from the body naturally which is a genuine physical need for nourishment and support and another from an emotional desire which feels like an attachment to needing to eat something to ‘fill’ me up. Huge when we consider its implications.
“I often ate because it was that time of day,”, I can completely relate to this. This was normal for me I would often eat because it was the time of day to eat, breakfast, lunch or dinner. Often I would not feel hungry and because the family ate or it was that time at work I would eat, it was just a habit, later to feel bloated and uncomfortable as sometimes my body did not want the food. I use to override my body and the messages. Now as I listen to and honour my body, I eat when my body is hungry, and that feels so much supportive.
Me too Amita – I realised that even when my meals were a reasonable size and i was not snacking my body did not actually require three meals every day and so I was overeating. It was surprising to me that on most day’s two meals is plenty.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Food is a daily choice and sometimes I can go straight into auto pilot and not even consider my body and what it really needs. It always goes back to our connection with ourselves and helps uncover another layer of how we are living.
I too am re-reading this blog and it always feels fresh with ‘food for thought’. The stimulation we receive from food is more than I imagined. I am realising that our relationship with food also determines our honesty with ourselves. If we are eating foods to cover and hide other feelings or emotions we may not actually be aware of how we are feeling. For example we could be eating foods that are stimulating and therefore not feeling a level of tiredness or exhaustion. Even our honesty is based on our food choices.
This takes our potential relationship with food to a whole new level… And the best part is, there are no diet plans, books or instructions or relying on someone else telling us what we should be eating… What it does take however is a willingness to be honest about what and how and when we eat, based on listening to our body, and making our food choices based on the information our body feeds back to us.
There were foods I loved but struggled to resist even though I knew they were not great for me. Then I changed a few things in my life, worked on my commitment to myself, spoke up about some things I was holding back on and suddenly the battle no longer existed and those foods don’t even come to mind. It’s so interesting that when we deal with things in our lives in one area, that this supports us in all areas, especially when it comes to food.
Love your sharing here Frank about food and it’s impact on our wellbeing. I have found a direct correlation between my emotions and what food/beverage I consume, and it’s so automatic. Since becoming more aware of my body and it’s messages of love certain foods have been easily left off the menu, which is really interesting when I ‘thought’ I loved them so much.
I feel inspired Frank by your consideration into feeling what your body is really communicating around its food needs.
It is very easy to become automatic or driven by taste when it comes to food choices and what you share here offers a way that is deeply considering and connecting.
The title of this blog has got me back to make another comment. Frank you are talking about a subject that everyone wants to know more about – FOOD.
Yesterday BBC news headlines talked about Sugar Tax in the UK.
Would it really work?
What about those who have tons of money, would they care if they had to pay more?
Is this a solution – in other words a band aid to a bullet wound? if you get what I mean
Enter Universal Medicine – they have been talking about the effects of what sugar does to the human body for past 15 years.
If we are to get to the root of this – look no further. I am a living science who was a “sugarholic”. I lived on sugar as a child and that included sugar sandwiches.
I applied the teachings of Serge Benhayon and dealt with my chronic exhaustion and I have been sugar free and processed food free for around 8 years now.
Could this have a clue that sugar tax may not be the answer but dealing with the nations exhaustion levels may reduce sugar intake as the body will not crave it to keep going?
Possible?
Very true Bina, I see the sugar, exhaustion cycle is just looping around and people are reaching constantly for sugar or coffee to keep going and numb how their body is really feeling.
It is my experience that any true change to diet comes from a growing love and respect from within. When I value more the stillness in my body then the rush and anxiety sugar produces I feel the support to make more loving choices around food.
For me its about being present when I am eating and asking my body what it feels like to eat in any given moment. It is an ever changing process of discovery of what works and what doesn’t and when it doesn’t to eliminate it. Because what doesn’t serve my body and its vitality, is not loving for my body.
I still love to come back to reread this from time to time, it is such a great way to look at food. Food being something that is in our lives constantly…..daily. We are presented with being able to use food as an incredible marker as to how we are feeling, how we are in our connection with ourselves, by the food we choose to eat. If we are feeling stressed our, not happy with someone or within ourselves, the thoughts we have can influence what we eat……if we allow them to. It is a choice and it depends on how you are connected with your body as to what choices you do make.
Giving myself the time and space to consider food and my relationship to it is a big one. There is so much to unravel here. Mostly I have treated food as a reward or an obligation. Now to unravel this and put food back to the nurturing role it has.
I have noticed recently that I am reaching out to food to cover up a feeling. If I feel inside my body before I go for whatever it is my body is actually full, especially around the area of my intestines, in my abdomen. My mouth is wanting food and I will either want” to get my teeth into something”(what a strange saying that is) to avoid what is really going on or to” think about it” in a way that is removing my feeling self and substituting my head self to sort “it” out. Or I might go for something creamy and soothing and comforting. The best option is something like nuts because they give the jaw a work out and then produce cream and the comfort that everything is all right . A false sense of security is generated and the status quo is assured.
Knowing what to eat and when to eat it requires you to be connected with your body in a very tender and delicate way. Your blog Frank demonstrates this beautifully.
This is a great simple blog. At the moment I’m feeling food is a chore and it all being about finding what works for my body and not really enjoying the food I eat at all. I’ve always felt a lot of stress around food and “getting it right” as my body has had a lot of reactions to foods and I’ve had extensive allergy and intolerance testing which helped to some degree. Feeling like my body is a bit of a battleground, and feeling confused about exactly what’s causing the symptoms (as there has been so many over a long period) has really taken the joy out of eating and food for me. I look forward to taking more steps to understand my body and eat with joy again.
I know in my own life that I tempt to overeat, even my last dinner last night. Normally I would accept this as a ‘it comes with dinner’ sort of thing. While all I can feel now is that this is not normal and feels quiet uneasy. When I allowed myself to feel why I had overeaten I could feel a frightening feeling within myself, this frightening feeling was related to a hurt that was coming up..I had a choice at that time to react and go away from feeling this or stay and allow myself to heal.. This reminds me of how often I can go into overeating once I feel more sensitive to things and feelings in and around me. Good way to stop and reflect that when I overeat it is not without reason.
Yes Alexandre, it is so important to stop and pause at times before eating. I find this a great way to allow myself to feel before eating, something so simple but it does help a lot.
So true Frank, and that some of our food urges are not actually hunger! Developing a relationship with our bodies whereby we learn the intricacies of its signals to us, enables us to make decisions that truly honour it. This can be in how we choose to eat, sleep and go about our days. There are certainly ways that honour our body, and ways that do not. I certainly know which ones I prefer, and am enjoying learning more of what that means for my body every day.
Oh Frank, what a subject. I am really trying to work all of that out for myself as well and finding it takes time. One of the key things that feeds the food industry power (bit of a pun there!) is stress and not having enough time, so we don’t discern what we feel to eat or what our body would like we just look for a quick hunger fix or time of day fix. The exhaustion that comes from that way of living means we start needing certain food choices as well…sugar and caffeine to name but two. When we don’t stop to actually chew our food then physical digestion issues appear as well…we literally harm ourselves as we tick a box. Go figure!
Thank you Frank. What I have observed recently is that I very much use food as a bandaid. When I eat certain things they distract me and make me less aware of what is going on around me, so I do not have to feel and see to the fullest extend how people are with each other. But then I jump onto the same bandwagon as I start to care less and isolate myself from others. So I have started to observe much more what really happens with me and my awareness and behaviour when and what I eat. It is a science in itself.
Thank you Esther. I have the same thing going on here. I became quite lazy regarding food and have found that I am often eating when I am not truly hungry at all but am being motivated by other factors. Great to come back to more awareness around our food choices. I feel supported by your comment and by this blog to continue this science experiment as I hold myself in love.
Thanks Frank for raising some very relevant points around food consumption. I work with parents of young children and I am amazed how common it is for parents to have battles over what and how much their children eat. Parent’s ideas are generally based around common stereotypes regarding so called healthy foods and is certainly influenced by marketing. While a certain degree of guidance has to be offered by parents, I wonder what would happen if parents could follow their child’s lead as to what foods they do and don’t like to eat, as well as the quantity. Perhaps children would then grow up being far more discerning around food and what feels right in their bodies for them.
What you are sharing Frank certainly serves as a gentle reminder for us all. To have that stop moment and really feel what is initiating the hunger and to feel what best nourishes us – not feed a need. So many times I override what my body really is telling me and eat to satisfy that ‘quick fix’ sensation. Lately I’ve realised often it is my body telling me that I am requiring liquid (water) as for me that sensation is very similar to that of hunger. Great sharing Frank thank you.
This is a great exercise Katie, and one I know I can connect to more deeply for myself. Isn’t it interesting how much is revealed when we are willing to be more honest about what our bodies are telling us… !
Thank you Katie. I am going to put myself on a program or experiment similar to what you describe to assess what I eat, why I eat and the way I eat. I can already feel that this is going to change my relationship with food.
Thanks for this Frank, it is very topical for me at present. I get so caught up in the food as an automatic response to hunger aspect of eating, rather than making a truly conscious decision based on what feels true to eat, rather than what is available. I also get caught in the breakfast time – need to eat a breakfast meal equation. I am going to try to connect more with what I truly feel to eat and be more present while I am eating and see what impact this has on how I feel after eating.
I’ve discovered much about my relationship with food, through the support of Universal Medicine presentations and practitioners and it is something that I am continually learning from and developing. As you say Frank we can be present with the food choices we are making each day or just slip into autopilot.
Frank a great re- read. I love what your blog offers in way of insight into our eating habits, what how and why we eat can be so very revealing, for example I was having an esoteric yoga session a few days ago and the practitioner suggested we celebrate ourselves for just being us, what immediately came to mind for me was food! I often link celebration and reward with food.
What I am slowly learning is that I can feel great anyway without the need of food to reward me and in some cases to use it to numb the greatness I am feeling.
I agree Julia, it is a challenge, and it is worth taking. Food can affect so much the way we feel and perceive life, when we change our eating habits it opens up a world of change in awareness. It is fun.
It is fun and also opens up a new world, I am recently feeling how literally every food has an effect, there is nothing that leaves us the same. I might be getting more sensitive than I wish to.
Yes it is fun and also hard work at times like when I know a food won’t give me the energy my body deserves and craves but I think I don’t have the energy in the first place to prepare loving food. Yet when I truly listen to my body, take the time and care, it feels so much better.
I too found that I was eating just because it was the time that I always ate, and from that I discovered that I never actually got to feel hungry, I couldn’t remember feeling hungry. What a revelation, why was I eating all the time if I never actually felt hungry? I have let that program go and am discovering like you Frank that eating and food is an ever evolving relationship with myself. It has become simpler.
Great points Lisa, our relationship with food is and can be complex. We attach so much to food, eating to numb, distract, not feel. Eating when not hungry, for celebration, because it is ‘that time of the day’. It is so ingrained in us. But we are all responsible for working out for ourselves what and why we eat and when and as you say, food is an ever evolving relationship with ourselves. One that we aim to be simpler and simpler.
I know! How simple – we actually need to consider what IS TRUE – EVERY TIME WE EAT!
That should be simple right!?
Yes SimpleSimon888, allthough things seemingly get into our way of actually choosing to eat what is TRUE.. What is about us that keeps referring and choosing to eat what is NOT TRUE?!
I wonder..
…yes should be simple, but it isn’t. There is this sort of hand to mouth response that becomes automatic. I can see how much emotion plays a part in this – I start to feel a certain way, not consciously aware of this feeling, and know that the antidote to what I am feeling can be found in food – so I eat some food that will offset the feeling. All of this happens at a subconscious level with the result being me wondering why I am eating a certain food which gives me a focus other than the feeling that I did not want to be aware of in the first place. Very tricky. I’m going to look at why I want to eat rather than just eating. Thanks for the inspiration Frank.
Well said Lee Poole: I’m going to look at why I want to eat rather than just eating. This is important to feel everyday our actions and with which purpose we are doing them. This then takes away more of the ‘automatic responses’ that are keeping us away from feeling our body. I prefer being present with myself in my actions, so that I know what I am doing and in which quality.
Thank-you for being so ‘Frank’ for you have raised considerations around food that challenges so much of what seem to so easily and readily accepted .
Choosing what to eat according habit and what we think is good rather than listening to our bodies. Food is a big issue and in my view, our relationship to food needs to be discussed more often. With our rising rates of obesity, it is clear to see that we are eating and not hungry why are we eating ?
Food for stimulation, food for escape, food for taste, food for a lifestyle…so many ways we can build a relationship to food, yet the most important relationship with food is the degree to which is supports your body and it’s your body that tells you what is supportive or not.
We tend to go on automatic pilot at times with food and not really feel what we truly need. Sometimes we eat when actually we are just thirsty. Or at times eat the same food over and over because it is easy to prepare. Not at all listening to the body and what it needs.
When I truly listen to my body food choices are clearer to me. Both relationships are forever unfolding my relationship with myself and my relationship with food. My relationship with food generally is no good with me often overriding what I feel to eat and the quantity of food I eat. Food is an area of my life that I need to put more time in to refining.
Rereading my comment tells me my relationship with myself is what needs more of my time.
Thank you Frank. Frankly, 😉 your title is quite the pun of what you are saying. That yes, we need to have these thoughts, and honesty with food, but on the other hand, at that moment we need to feel from out body what we feel like eating and why. I really like this ‘why’ part, as it actually becomes a great indicator for how we are feeling overall, and we can have a look at what is going on in our lives. I agree that food can either be used to support or numb.
I relate totally to your blog and are just starting to really look at what I eat, why etc. I almost feel a bit panicky if I think about not having breakfast, so definitely something to explore and understand more deeply.
You come at this subject with no judgement of yourself or others, you come at it simply observing self and being honest to what the next thing may or may not be. This unemotional approach feels like you could be talking about anything in life, habits patterns…not just food. I like this approach as it inspires me to bring the lightness to food it deserves, it feels like at times we can drag emotional issues in and hide them under the guise of being “food issues”.
Thanks Frank, simple writing this is clear and direct.
Great blog Frank and a lovely reminder that just because you like the taste of a particular food does not mean your body likes it.
Food is a big subject and it is great that you bring up the need to feel the effect every food has in our bodies, because just recently I have been having more sweets and more corn chips as a habit, not wanting to feel the effect; I do, but then I want to override it, as from the beginning I ate them wanting to override my tiredness, my sadness.
It is definitely an ongoing process and one that shows us a lot of where we are at and a lot of our choices. For me the lesson at the moment is not to go into “automatic response” as you say, but be brave to want to feel what I chose to eat.
My relationship with food is a fascinating (at times very frustrating) relationship that is forever unfolding. At times I find it very challenging. I have days that food is not an issue at all and I have days that I fall back into old patterns, I feel bloated, have cravings and observe myself buying things that I know are not going to sit well with my body. But buy them anyway…What I am learning is to not be strict nor tell myself what I can have or can’t because that just makes things worse. I keep it light and see it as one big experiment.
These days I felt again, that I still have an attachment to food – there is still a part of me, which is abusing the food – to feel better, to numb myself etc.
To read your blog again is for me a great check, where am I in reference to food at the moment. With regards to food it is an unfolding way for me as well.
There is no doubt that we can all relate to the cravings for food that is not good for us, but my experience is that these cravings pass once we change our relationship with food to one that is based on what is needed to sustain us, not what is needed to entertain us.
I like this little rhyming comment Adam, Sustain and entertain it has a nice ring to it. Very simple but very true, if I am honest I still like a show every once in a while but it is getting less and less.
Food definitely is a huge one, I know for me it is still a daily checking in, how am i feeling? am i really hungry? what to eat? how am i eating? all these questions come all together or i forget and just eat because i don’t want to feel something that is going on. This is a big one, eating because there is something i don’t want to feel. I certainly have more awareness than ever before, so honour that within myself. But still very consciously aware of how i want to not feel and use food to assist in that process. Reading your blog has been very inspiring so thank you.
I too have considered myself as having always been eating well and healthy. But I have come to a whole new realization with food and my relationship with food. I have in the past noticed how I feel after eating certain foods, for example, feeling grumpy, tired and needing to lay down. I realized all of this and sometimes I can pin point what courses my mood changes and tiredness, but I override this and repeat the same process because the food that makes me feel awful tastes so good. They taste great because of the high levels of sugar and salt hidden in the ingredients. I now, notice when I was feeling down or needing some comfort, I would reach for food that tastes great and they would knocked me out. I can no longer choose this level of disregard for my body or wanting to feel this way again. I am now choosing food that I know supports my body and allows me to continuously feel energised. My relationship with food is now about listening to my body and paying attention to what I eat and how I eat. I have been inspired to increase my awareness with food and to making loving choices from everyone I have met at Universal Medicine. This has been an amazing journey and I am loving it every step of the way.
I used to eat by the clock – such a habit, of which I know many people live by this. Always eating at the same time and in most cases eating the same foods on set days of the week. My family did this – I so easily fell in with this pattern too. Changing those patterns only came about because I started to really feel/listen to what my body is telling me. It is also great fun to experiment with food and get creative. As you share Frank to not go “into an automatic response” and just grab something to consume to fill a need.
This is a powerful statement Frank : “food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger” imagine this was the message we got in our upbringing instead of all the ideals and patterns imposed upon us as children. (Of you have exposed a few in your blog).
So true Carolien, I too have been imposed with al kinds of ideals and beliefs about food and eating in my childhood. Therefore my relation with food is still something I have to work out. Now I have a relation with food to numb myself when I do not want to feel an unpleasant feeling in my body, or I eat because I it is breakfast, lunch or dinner time, or I eat because someone else is eating etc. etc. But when do I eat truly for me, to nurture and care for my body? Slowly I start to understand that I have to let go of all these ideals and beliefs and to let my body be my guide in choosing when and what to eat and drink.
I have this too Nico and at the times i really do honor my body I can get really surprised. Sometimes very little food is enough and sometimes I can feel my body needs a good nutritious meal. I have also found that often when I feel like snacking my body is not asking for food but for water. Our body is the wisest and most dedicated personal coach we could ever want. All we need to do is listen, and look at what it is that makes us go against what we can feel is true.
It’s great to have this blog to consider on and to prompt further reflections – I’m currently working on lunch at work … usually the hunger is there an hour or so before the official lunchtime so I eat it but it’s at the desk and hurried, not so ideal for my stomach. Am yet to work out a routine.
Your blog has certainly given me ‘food for thought’. It is so helpful hearing about others experiences.
Very interesting observations Frank. The sentence which drew my attention the most was “am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat… was it to dull or override another feeling?”
I know this situation very well – I know I’m not hungry but there is a need to eat something and then the big question is for me – do I take the time to feel why I want to numb myself ?
Just before reading this blog I knew, although it was ‘supper time’ my body was wanting something fresh and green, nothing more. I went to the fridge and pulled out everything that I felt to and made myself a drink with celery, coriander, cucumber and rocket and I knew there was something missing – spirulina. I realised in that moment that this is what I had been missing. I had allowed myself to let go of many supportive foods that I used to eat every day and replaced them with fillers like nuts. I had stopped taking vitamins and minerals a while back. Could one of the reasons that I had been feeling so tired simply be that I was not only eating the wrong foods but not eating the right ones?
Food and eating is an on going, ever deepening relationship that I have found our bodies are always communicating with us about. I have found the only way to understand what is truly needed by our body is to never listen to our minds about what we think to have, but always our hearts about what is truly needed by our body
Great article Frank- lots to ponder on- am I eating because it is meal times e.g. at work we often only have set times to eat- sometimes I’m hungry and other times I am not.
If I don’t eat when I am very hungry and can’t eat, I often feel lightheaded. Then when I do eat I find myself eating foods not supportive because I am so hungry, and I eat it very fast, leaving me feeling bloated and nauseous, with indigestion.
This is still a work in progress honouring my body re food, hunger.
A agree, it’s a thought provoking article, to consider all the assumptions we have about food, when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat even how to eat. I like how Frank has kept it so simple and founded on the key principle of honesty…being honest on why you eat what you do, when you do, how much you do and how you do it…so much to explore.
Interesting, food, hunger, a treat a comfort, a habit…? Uncovering why we eat and how we feel when we eat is awesome. Your experience that you share really opens up this discussion, so often we are not truthful about how food impacts on our bodies because it tastes ‘nice’. I am still in the process of learning what food supports me, and it is one that will continue throughout my life. However learning to be more honest about my relationship with food has resulted in my feeling so much more healthy and I have a natural vitality that a few years ago I would not have thought possible.
Perfect Samantha, we so often look at the issue of our diet or overeating and overlook the fact that we eat the way we do because of the way we have been living, which then brings a completely new understanding when it comes to deciding what we are going to eat. For example if we are to crave and have a particular food that doesn’t sit well in our bodies and we wouldn’t usually have then isn’t that telling us there is something we are not coping with or resisting?
Gosh Frank, this is a problem I am facing every day. Eating both when I am hungry and when I am not. It is such a difficult habit to break, eating when not hungry. I often ask myself if I want dinner, and often I will eat it in fear of being hungry when I’m in bed. Always worrying about being hungry is a funny ‘thing’ I have, as if there was some possibility I might starve. Thanks for the reminder to check in. I must remind myself that food is always available and that I can eat at any time I feel I need to, not have to.
Interesting point you raise Elodie and that you. Is there a fear to starve in me if I do not eat on a regular basis? Great question to ponder on since I also have the tendency to just eat breakfast, lunch and dinner almost everyday, without really asking myself if I am truly hungry and what my body truly needs.
Awesome comment Elodie, I can relate to what you’ve shared and it reminded me of how I was with the feeling of hunger. I used to get really grumpy when I was hungry, I couldn’t think straight and was very easily irritated. I would then find something to eat, shove it down to get rid of that hunger feeling. I felt my energy levels drop from being hungry and raise again after eating. But then the food I ate or how I ate would bring me back to that same irritable state, so it seems like I was then continuously irritable. After 2 years of changing what I eat, eliminating food that is not support for my body, I no longer feel this way. I have eliminated dairy, gluten, caffeine, refine sugar and highly reduced salt. By me choosing to change what I eat has made a massive difference to how I am with myself and with other people. I feel with loving food choices I am more myself, feeling more energised, light and function with more clarity. I am now no longer affect by feelings of hunger, I just feel it and know what to do.
Great blog and a super sharing Frank. The whole food thing is huge! Even though I’ve been working on my relationship with food for a number of years now I see that I still have blinkers on when it comes to feeling some things. I’m noticing lately how much I do actually eat when I’m not hungry. I even know when I’m doing it a lot of the time so it’s a deliberate choice to sabotage and numb myself. This blog is a great support in helping me to feel at a deeper level what’s going on here – thank you.
Thanks Frank for sharing your experiences with food. I can relate to this very well. I still very often forget to feel into my body, before I start to eat something. Then I just repeat a choice from the day before, then I “think”, that is good for my body. As you say it is so important to feel every time, when the body is hungry to find out, what my body needs in this moment. Thanks for reminding me.
Thank you for sharing your development and awareness around food. Your commitment to being honest about the genuineness of hunger whilst also reflecting on the effects that food can have on your body and adjusting accordingly, is deeply inspiring. It is clear that although we might not have all the answers, the body certainly knows what it wants and can be very loud about it.
Thanks Frank. Its great to re-read this and be reminded that our body is always communicating with us and that our relationship with food is very important as it contributes to us as a whole.
Yes Frank, I agree, this is great to come back to and re-read from time to time. Re-building our relationship with food takes constant awareness and commitment. It’s very easy to trick ourselves into what we think we need to eat. I love how this blog brings so much awareness to feeling what is needed from our body and not our head.
Yes, I love bringing more awareness to my relationship with food and why I sometimes have food cravings. I realized when I have certain food cravings it’s because I am looking for comfort. It then allows me to reflect, what have I been choosing previously to lead me to be feeling this way? Awesome to reflect upon my previous choices and how that relates to my food choices. I also love what you’ve shared Heather: ‘It’s very easy to trick ourselves into what we think we need to eat.’
Great question Chanly88, it can be quite revealing when we begin to link the two – food choices and how they relate to previous choices. I find this understanding a great support in looking at my relationship with myself and how I can use food to feel or not feel things at a deeper level.
I had a similar experience where I would get this tightness in my tummy, for many many years I though it was simply hungry pains as, as soon as I ate they went away.
However one time I was unsure if I was really hungry. Instead I decided to wait it out. What I discovered it wasn’t me actually being hungry but me feeling an issue to do with self confidence, and as soon as I started to address this the stomach tightness went away.
This blew me away because I held it for so long that I WAS JUST HUNGRY.
Made me contemplate what other parts in my life weren’t necessary true but I think they are.
What you relate, Luke, is a great example of how we take those feelings on the surface and assume that we must be hungry. For years I was a late night snacker, confusing tiredness with hunger. I’m learning to go a little deeper into the feeling, and often when I get home, tired and feeling ‘hungry’ I will go and rest for half an hour or so. It feels inconsiderate to my body to put food in it, and make it do more work to digest that food, when all it wants to do is rest!
Agree or even what I’ve done in the past is put more food into me and expect my body to work even harder. It is very important to stop and assess because in most cases those behaviours are very ingrained.
Another really interesting aspect of eating I have been exploring is what mood state or state of presence I am in when I eat. If I at all feel guilty about the food I am eating, then this has been affecting the digestion of that food. If I feel in a hurry or that I am in the middle of getting something down and have stopped to eat still in the energy of getting it done, that also affects how I feel afterwards. If it is food I am attached to in its texture of flavour, again, I can feel out of sorts almost immediately after eating it. As you say Frank, as work in progress but I am beginning to see there is more to nutrition that the food I choose and that being pedantic with what I eat, is also not great for my digestion!
Food is a daily choice, so true. Our body can only be in this moment and can tell us today what it needs to eat. Actually so simple yet we have made it so complicated.
Yes. But actually sometimes I find a ‘full fridge’ a bit of an imposition. I totally understand that with a family it is supportive – and it is certainly how we live. That said, I was recently in the USA and was living alone for a few weeks. I really enjoyed an empty fridge and the daily (or thrice weekly) practice of going out to buy food and really checking in what I wanted that day. With a full fridge, I do tend to go in to auto pilot – which can sometimes result in me over-riding what my body actually wants.
Your blog is a great reminder that our relationship with food and eating is always evolving. If we stay static with how we are with our foods, then food that may of nourished us at some point, then becomes toxic. The way we are with food can reveal so much about what it truly going on for us.
I agree Donna and what I have found is that the key to developing my relationship with food is developing my relationship with my body. The more I listen to my body, the easier my food choices become.
This is how it has been for me to Angela. As I discovered how a food feels in my body, I then have a choice to eat it and feel however I feel when I eat it or not.
Certainly Donna, I now know that when I go back to foods I had already given up, it shows me that I have gone back on other levels to, I have gone back to the indulging, to the attachment, or whatever it is at that moment. Food does show a lot of my relationship to me too. When I am self loving, when I am just given up, when I put evolution before pleasure, and before any satisfaction.
“What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” Making choices from our bodies, not our minds or because we have had a set routine – something I am more and more aware of these days. Thankyou Frank.
Great blog Frank, it seems to me that if I didn’t eat for all the wrong reasons i.e. not wanting to feel something, wanting stimulation – whatever it is at the time, I actually wouldn’t need to eat hardly anything, because most of the time I am not actually hungry. It has been my feeling for some time now, that we don’t need nearly as much food as we consume.
Thank you Frank for sharing the importance of listening to our body before choosing what to put into it. I have found that the more I pay attention to the effect different foods have on my body the more aware I become about other messages that my body is giving me.
Great blog Frank- good to be reminded of being more aware of food choices and how they feel in the body, and if we eat because of habit eg 3 meals/ day at set times, or meat & 3 veg, and if we eat for comfort or to numb what’s coming up in the body to feel.
Really like what you share here Frank as it makes you look closer at the relationship you have with food, revealing the important link between the body and the food you put into it. I feel more and more the quality in which I chose the food I eat has such an impact on the way I feel.
It is a deepening of the relationship with self to listen carefully what body really wants. And to find out when to eat. It’s a great exploring for me, coming down a way of having chosen food as first for the taste of it – no matter which ingredients were necessary for it. Great observation you shared!
Great blog Frank, I have also been discovering that I eat because I have a feeling of resisting certain things that I need to do in my day. For a little while I am experimenting with eating just because it is diner time or lunch time. I now ask myself the question Do I truly feel that I need to eat, and do I need to eat a whole meal? What I have allreaydy discovered is that I have far more energy and have more patience at the end of the day.
“food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” spot on Frank.
Brilliant blog to return to this morning – My food choices have really started to change again and what you shared rang a note of truth for me. Noticing I was more often than not going into “an automatic response to hunger” rather than really feeling into my body was I hungry for food to numb out or hungry to support and nourish my body! Mmm!! yes definitely a work in progress. thank you Frank.
Sounds like you do have all the answers Frank. Listen to your body for what to eat and eat when you are hungry. Simple. I am being a little cheeky here, because I will be the first to admit that past conditioned ways of eating still get in the way and affect my food choices. So there is a process of ‘healing’ around these, as you have well described, so they can be let go of. Then it comes down to the aforementioned simplicity and how much food can truly support me when I feel how amazing I am and how much living all of me can offer.
I can agree with that Simon, every time I feel I need to eat something I am also considering how amazing I feel and how I can sustain that by choosing the right food that will support this feeling, instead of unconsciously choosing a food from my old way of eating, that will dull me down away from me feeling amazing. The choice becomes more easy and, fun to do also.
Feeling into what I really need to eat and letting go of any concepts of what is right or wrong has helped me a lot in finding a diet that really supports me. A big discovery was that what is good for me today may not be tomorrow, but again may be the thing to eat the day after tomorrow.
Thank you Frank – funnily enough food is the one space where I am starting to realise my head will tell me a completely different story to my head! My head is likely to say yes far more readily than my body to foods that end up not feeling so great once the have passed my taste buds!
Frank brilliant blog and poses so many wonderful points regarding food choices. “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” It’s about being completely honest and listening to what our bodies need, if we listen it will tell us loud and beautifully clear. Thank you.
To nourish my body with food has taken me to experiment a lot more with what I eat and how I prepare it. In the past (and sometimes now) I’d get so distracted by the smell of the food, or the colours of the food, but not what truly nourishes me. It is an ongoing process but I’m really having fun with experimenting with different flavours and the many different choices which are available out there for us to try. Really having to watch the portion sizes though. Really enjoyed reading your blog Frank – thank you.
This is really inspiring Frank. I love the concept that we can actually feel what our body really needs in each moment. In my experience it gets much easier to feel what food my body wants the more loving choices I make. It feels like building a muscle. I know that all my body wants is true love so if the food I eat is prepared and eaten from this understanding I will only be able to eat truly nurturing food in the quantities my body needs.
Great article Frank, a great reminder to tune into what our body is asking for re food selection and quantity, instead of eating because it is meal time or eat as a reward, comfort or to suppress how our body is feeling so we can’t feel it.
I am still learning to honour the signs my body is giving me, as my mind can convince me that it’s still ok to eat certain foods even though I know I react from them. I have found that if I am with my body when I decide what food to eat, I make more self loving choices which nurture my body. If I am in nervous energy from doing too much, or in overwhelm, I tend to reach for more comfort foods.
Thank you Frank, I really enjoyed reading your article. I have found it very liberating not following the whole breakfast tradition. For years I used to force myself to eat something as everyone insisted that it was the most important meal of the day. But I have always found that I’m not hungry when I first get up and I much prefer to eat a few hours later. I often have soup for morning tea at work, which gets quite a few raised eyebrows, but I embrace being ‘different’ and my body just loves having what it feels like. I’m left feeling warm and satisfied rather than feeling a tension from knowing that I’ve eaten something that my body doesn’t actually want or need.
This to me is a crunch line; it just reveals so much about our eating habits: “… was I eating something just because it tasted nice and therefore made me feel nice?”
It definitely a huge shift in relationship with food to break the regime of eating at habitual meal times and ‘favourite’ foods, and instead question why one is feeling hungry, and feeling what the body wants.
Wow, this is a great blog. I have learnt heaps – thank you Frank. I’m also learning that my body wants to eat at certain times that don’t fit in with the norm of the day. I’m ready for lunch at 11:30am but that’s to early for a lunch break – or is it? These are the questions I have to play with and experiment with. Who knows 11:30am might be the perfect time for a break.
As you say Frank – it is a constant refinement that asks us to be consciously present with our body so that we may choose what our body is asking and what will support us at any given moment.
I have found this too Linda and if I honour this my body loves me back. I feel a sense of completeness and fullness that doesn’t come so much from food but from the fact that I honour what was true for my body to eat.
I have also had that eureka moment when I end up cooking/preparing exactly the meal that I could feel my body wanted. It tastes amazing, even though they are often very simple meals and leave me feeling very satisfied. I also feel different preparing and cooking it. Perhaps because I am not responding to a need for taste, stimulation or fullness but to nourish my body. Come to think of it, it’s actually quite a loving gesture towards myself. No wonder it feels good!
Thank you for sharing this Frank. I am continually being reminded of the importance of paying full attention to food. Just when I think I have it sorted, things change and my food needs to change also. I can’t run on autopilot with food. Your blog is a lovely reminder.
Thanks for your blog Frank, and for reminding us of the need to feel into what foods our body needs, and to be prepared to frequently review the foods we eat in order to honour these needs.
The way you described food, as a daily choice is absolutely true, I find I go on autopilot too, rather than stopping and feeling what I’m feeling first, why I want to eat.
What helps me a lot is if I have food readily prepared so when I’m hungry I’m not starting from scratch to prepare a meal.
This makes sense though doesn’t it? To actually ask yourself what you feel like eating and go with that, or to wait and eat when hungry. A work in progress for me too Frank.
I can really relate to this Frank. I used food a lot to numb feelings even though it didn’t feel great and often when I wasn’t hungry. By taking the gluten and dairy out of my diet to start with I’ve been able to gradually feel the sensitivity in my body to other foods and start to feel what makes me feel energised (not stimulated) and those which make me feel heavy and dense.
Love your insight into the relationship we have with food Frank. I am also developing a greater awareness of the effects different foods have on me and it’s amazing the response in my body when I choose what the body truly needs and works best on. I am also discovering that my thoughts or my mood, stress, anxiousness are huge drivers to choose foods that are actually detrimental to my body, so its becoming an exercise in awareness to see how the quality I am in influences what I reach for.
So true Annie. I have found it really helpful to remind myself that my food cravings are the end point of the thoughts and emotions I have chosen. This allows me to address the true source of my food cravings and addictions.
Food. A big topic. What you say here though is a real gem ‘The process then was one of self-reflection; firstly to be honest and ask myself, am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat… was it to dull or override another feeling? Sooooooo many of us eat when we are not hungry, but how amazing would it be, as you have done, to see and feel we are not hungry AND THEN to ask ourselves what is the reason we want to eat .. what don’t we want to deal with or feel. Now that is taking it to the next level and worth exploring : )
It’s great to read the question and reflect honestly: “was I eating something just because it tasted nice and therefore made me feel nice?” I can’t count how many times I’ve done this, but I can now register fully that I do because of a lack of being with myself.
What’s interesting about choosing to be really present, is that to begin with, it feels really difficult and by the time I am fully present, there’s no other way I’d rather be (and one doesn’t need for anything else in seeking fulfilment).
Hi Frank. Such a big subject and great to comment on and write about. We all have experiences to share that are a great support for others to know and improve their relationship with food and their diet.
I know how often I have been working hard and it comes to lunch or dinner time and there is no discipline to just stop and feel first – just eat something already prepared or prepare something quick and easy – this is a traversity for my next part of the day.
I know what has worked for me (my body) with food, and what I’m feeling from your blog to Frank, I must honour the whole process around food in my life eg. Shopping, buying, planning the week’s food, packing the fridge, stopping and feeling what the body needs (being honest), preparing, cooking, the setting, and eating, and then cleaning up. If my body is sacred then this whole process (ritual) must be sacred – support me (and my partner) to heal. Eating food is to heal.
Thank you Frank, it takes the thinking out of eating…simply let your body decide!
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present the concept that we are in relationship with food. It is well worth exploring what our individual relationship with food is. Examining the what why and how we eat plus the affects our diets are having on our bodies can be very revealing about our inner psycho-emotional states and therefore, if we so chose, herald great healing.
“food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger”. What a powerful and empowering awareness this is. I have discovered as I follow a similar journey to yours Frank, is how much I conformed to ideals and beliefs about food rather than responding to what my body was actually feeling would be supportive for it.
I can very well relate to this Jonathan.
We are brought up to embody concepts instead of letting our body tells us what we really need to eat and do.
Food can be an eye opener, because of the quite obvious reactions our bodies show on different foods. And this can be applied to all aspects of life: our body is the most precise marker for all that we do and if we allow it, it will be the best guide through life we can have.
“food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat”….when I see this cut & pasted into the comment section, it strikes me how obvious this is but how little we actually do it. So much of food and eating is on auto-pilot and around taste and fulfilment but little about true nourishment. Thanks for sharing your journey with this Frank, it is definitely a work in progress for me as well as I reconnect to a different way of being with food and truly asking my body what it feels like today.
What a great blog. If this way of living and relating with food would be lived by everybody, then we wouldn’t have obesity and all the related illnesses and diseases.
Seems there is a lot of childhood ‘programming’ around both amount and type of food, and timing, regularity and content of meals, still rattling around inside me, as I ditch the ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ and go to what feels right.
This is a great article, it highlights the ideals and beliefs that we hold onto with regards to food. In my experience I used food in the past as a filler to not feel the results of the choices that I was making in life, so I always would arrogantly defend that I had to eat so much because my body needed it and I was very active.
I have now let go of those ideals and beliefs and have developed a true relationship with food and my body and no longer follow any diet, and have learnt to listen to what my body needs at any specific time.
So true Frank, to really listen to the body. Is it really hungry? What food does it feel will nourish and sustain it. A lot of time is spent discussing food with friends and it all comes down to one thing: what feels right in the body at that time.
Yes, I too always “responded automatically” to hunger Frank.
If I consider ‘how I feel” and the mood/energy I am in when choosing what to eat, I get a clear response from my body, with positive after effects and no bloating and indigestion.
To me your reflection bring in another aspect of what food can be – it can be a form of a lie to myself. “I can handle that” or “it’s tasty” are just ways to not look at why I want to have it or not have it. Recently I have had a hard time with sugar cravings and I can sense that I deeply rejected the gorgeousness and tenderness and glory that I am. I didn’t want to feel that and having sugar opened the doors wide open for doubt and self bashing. And that fact itself shows me that sugar can’t be “my friend”. A true friend would never want the seed of doubt or judgement planted into me.
I can relate to what you say Christina, my whole mood can change if I eat certain foods, this shows me how harming certain food can be and what reaction it can cause in my body.
It’s a beautiful saying “Feel what you eat – not eat what you feel!” That’s hits the spot. Food is a big thing, but only when it’s not given to the body to nurture, but to damp or stimulate or just escape. Just feel the shiver down the spine after having had too much sugar or food in general!
Awesome Frank – I had many “aha” moments all the way through your article, with the last sentence summing it all up so succinctly for me: “What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.” I am having big lessons around this at the moment and reading your words of wisdom was very timely and very confirming.
Thank you Frank – this is a great blog to currently read for me and my family. Yes, food is something to continuously refine and deepen an understanding of our relationship with. It is a constant reminder to me and my family of all of our commitment to developing our self relationship and self love. I find it very confronting but am learning to bring more and more love to it and bring a celebration to my family that we bring love to ourselves and each other with our food choices.
Thank you for this dish of reflection and questioning Frank. You show how when we focus on single bits of life (like what to eat and what not to eat), we miss out on the bigger picture of what is being served: a healthy diet revolves around why and how we eat equally. It seems with our health and life, there is much more on the menu than we think.
‘Food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.’ Thank you for this inspiration Frank which is an evolving process for me, from making sure I have options available to taking the time to feel into what food would support me at a particular time and if I feel that I actually need to eat rather than just eat because it is a certain time on the clock.
There have been many times where the quick fix has defiantly backfired….
Once I knew how much food affected not just how I felt but everything I did, it it was great to observe how much sugar and dairy would throw my body out. As soon as I had dairy I got a block nose and sugar would send me into an instant drive….”I have to get this done”, Taking these out has made a huge difference to how I feel. Through this awareness I have developed and fine tuned other foods that affect me and how much I would eat just because it was there. Feeling into what the body wants to eat brings a whole new understanding to how food can either support us or dull us.
Thank you Frank for sharing. Food for me is an ongoing and always changing process. Breaking through patterns and ideals.
Food is an ever changing process and a continual refinement on what works and what doesn’t for each individual person. It’s about truly listening to everything we consume with honesty and love. Thank you Frank for your awesome insight .
I agree with you Frank. Having a new (or different) approach for what to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner is very important, not caught up in the ideas of what should be eaten for which meal. It all goes back to “listen to your body”.
Amazing revelation Frank. Asking your body what it actually wants to eat. And yes tuning in on those times and preparing food with that extra detail really is worth the effort. I am feeling very inspired also, it’s dinner time.
Reading your blog Frank I have come to realize that I must take more care in the amount of food I prepare and eat. Thank you.
I remember being full one morning from the night before and my body say quite clearly no more food – I need to process from last night. So I felt to skip breakfast but it was SO HARD. You would have thought the world was going to end because I was going to skip a meal – the programming was so strong – it is breakfast, you must eat! It was so exposing how controlled I was (and still am to some degree except far less these days) by times to eat and what to eat instead of connecting to my body and asking what it wants to eat. Great article Frank.
Ah Frank, don’t you touch my food, kidding. What you are saying is spot on. I had many programs running everything, from breakfast is the most important meal of the day, to what I was allowed to eat at certain times, certain days allowed for certain types of foods etc etc. None of these are true for me and what you are saying rings loud and clear. It is about feeling what to eat at every point and not allowing a program to run if it no longer supports you. I have found like you have Frank, that at times my food needs to change and I need to let go of ‘how’ it has been, even the day before. Thanks Frank, and so what’s for dinner?
I remember saying when I was younger “I am eating to fill the hole” – Now that I think back this statement says so much about how, what and why I was choosing to eat. The emptiness I felt was at the time so painful for me that I kept wanting to numb that feeling with the food that I ate, filling me up – and I would often eat in a way where I would ‘stuff’ myself. I know now that that feeling of emptiness that I had actually isn’t me at all and that I am worth so much more that having an overfull belly. What’s interesting for me to observe now is that if I do overeat, the feeling I have of my own worth drops. Thank you Frank – I think there will be many more conversations about food as we use it in so many ways – other than providing our body with nutrition.
You’ve hit onto a huge topic here Frank and I must say with a very apt article title. It’s often all too easy to opt for convenience, taste or habit over what will truly nourish and support us to stay connected with ourselves and thereby live the joy we each have inside us. Each poor food choice can dull our ability to choose our next meal wisely whilst each correct choice and how that leaves us can inspire more of the same. It’s a commitment to the often slow but gradual process of building trust in and listening to our body’s innate intelligence when it comes to choosing what to eat, when to eat and how much… and therefore not allowing old habits or emotional cravings to override a choice that would otherwise have us stay connected to the essence of who we truly are. It’s definitely a work in progress but with some consistency (not perfection) we learn to enjoy and savour every morsel because of how it leaves us feeling rather than just how it tastes.
Rob – awesome reply, so well said! Frank’s honesty and ability to break food and eating down into the simplest choices is quite frankly frank (sorry could not help that one!) and awesome! What you are both saying is GOLD and this is something that everyone needs to read. Keep it simple, feel what you eat and how it makes you feel AND enjoy each morsel because of how it leaves you feeling rather than how it tastes!
When I’m having a conversation where apparently there is some tension in my body, I will keep eating nuts if they are in front of me, afterwards I feel, wow, I really tried to keep it under control, instead of being with the tension and expressing it. It’s as if the mind steers the hand to this distraction. And there are many of these examples where food is a way of getting me distracted.
Hi Frank thank you for sharing your blog. You are so right, food is an on going awareness of what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, an ever honing for what is right for us at that moment. The big one for me is what quality of energy am I in that is influencing what choice that I make. As I see it, we eat exactly what we need, but for what reason – is it to numb or take away awareness through creating symptoms of ill at ease to mask other feelings, or to confirm clarity, vitality, joy, harmony in our body .
Frank, I can relate to a lot you have shared. The foods that I eat conatantly keep changing on several factors : how I feel and then to eat accordingly on what my body is asking. As you shared with making salad for dinner and also what my body can handle in terms of food, quantity etc. It is always changing and forever evolving. I’ve also found that when I’m snacking in between meals, (which is so easy when things come up and you don’t want to feel them) if I truly am hungry or is there something else going on! Thanks for the sharing.
” I came to realise that other foods also had reactions in my body, perhaps in quite subtle ways which were easy to overlook.” Sometimes I have not wanted to listen to the subtleties of my body and just eat because it tastes good in my mouth. I find myself needlessly snacking when driving on long car journeys – something to delve deeper into.
Frank, this just goes to show how often we eat not just to eat, but rather as a means to avoid other tensions we feel in life. And whilst food is great way of bringing relief – especially by assisting us to bury emotions we would rather not feel – it is in the end a management strategy that is plagued with side effects, the least of which some you have touched on. If we understood this basic truth, this would revolutionise the way we look at diet and weight loss. For the reason nearly all diets fail is because most of us would rather deal with the awful side effects of poor diet than deal with the emotional turmoil we are seeking to avoid – even though the avoidance of feeling our emotions often makes them seem much worse than they really are.
How very true Adam. If we are willing to truly look at our issues and choices, we will in the process naturally and lastingly change our diet to what is truly nurturing us instead of what seemingly helps us to not feel what we want to override. From my experience the diet that works best is to listen to what the body tells me and choose from there what I need to eat instead of what I want to eat… which has the beautiful side effect that every meal I prepare this way tastes absolutely gorgeous as it is made with love :o)
Eating what our body asks us to – Wow can you imagine what the supermarkets and stores would look like if we all – everyone of us – started to honour that? Many shelves would be empty and I’m sure down the track a way – hospitals would start to empty too as people would feel why they wanted to eat a certain food/s and work on that rather than the dishonouring which is so prevalent today.
Love what you share here, Frank, particularly the moments when you felt into the salad choice instead of the curry and how that went for you. It is so subtle, hey? Just yesterday, I ended up snacking in a meeting and feeling heavy and tired afterwards – we were in a dark room and tensions were high. I certainly copped it later from choosing to check out instead of staying connected, even though my snack choices were ‘healthy’. And so we learn.
Frank, you share with us all here of self responsibility when it comes to food and diet. For me choosing to put up with discomfort for the sake of wanting to eat something even when my body doesn’t need it, is something I am still working with. Great blog, and a topic I feel that will be discussed for many many years to come.
Frank in becoming more honouring of my body when it comes to eating, I have had to look at and address so many long held beliefs around food. For example, I must finish everything on my plate, I must eat 3 meals a day, dinner should be a ‘proper’ meal’, eat what’s in fridge rather than throw it out, eat food from all the food groups, eat lots of salad and fruit, don’t eat meat, the list goes on and on and on……………
There are so many ideals around food, there’s another one I used to fall for… ‘everything in moderation’ yet now I know there are some food groups that I cannot tolerate in any measure such as caffeine, gluten and dairy, so this blows this ideal out of the window for me as well as many others who have intolerances and allergies.
There are also times when my body is asking for a handsome portion, or a slightly heavier meal depending on how I am feeling and what I am doing. I don’t mean this as an excuse as there are plenty of occasions when I will use this to drown out how I am feeling, or just to experience a bit more stimulation, but as a note that listening to how I am feeling can go both ways.
Just a simple question like “Am I genuinely hungry?” can bring so much more awareness and honesty. It could be that we thought we were hungry but we are not, that in truth the body is asking for a drink not food, and if it is genuinely hungry, then feeling into what might nourish and support it in that moment. What would genuinely nurture and support us in that moment is a great way to deepen the healthy relationship that we can develop with our bodies, and therefore ourselves.
It is so ingrained to eat what tastes good, our taste buds salivate before we know what is happening and yet when I can pause and feel past what the last buds are saying I do get a sense of what I truly feel to eat and this knowing comes from my body. When I honour what I know to be true then my body feels amazing.
Great points Sally. I am listening more and more to what my body actually needs. I notice I can be attracted to what others are eating thinking I am missing out or I deserve it after a long day at work but I am becoming more aware of this now. I can also feel that my mouth wants some kind of stimulation and that my body doesn’t. Just yesterday I tasted something sweet thinking it would be ok to eat as it’s a small piece and I noticed an instant reaction from my body – blocked and watery nose. It was great to have this instant response as it was so obvious that this was not what was needed for my body and that it was telling me that sugar is something I need to stay away from. How empowering it is when we start to feel what our bodies truly needs and act on it.
Adapting our diet so our body is nourished and finely tuned is a great investment in our overall health. Thanks Frank.
Thanks Frank some interesting points made here, one that stuck out for me was the idea we have of what foods we have to eat at particular times– its fascinating how foods are deemed a ‘breakfast food’ or ‘lunch food’ or ‘snack food’ when sometimes these aren’t even the best things to be eating at those times.
An awesome blog that shows how much each and every meal is one to deeply feel into as what our body is truly craving can be so different each time we choose to eat. As I read your blog my hand holds my tummy after eating too much over lunch and still feeling the effects.
Society conditions us on every level of the way we should be each day and how we should do it to conform. Eating at certain times and certain foods that are accepted at that time of day. How crazy that we go against our bodies calling, to fit in with the norm.
It’s great to explore the possibility that we have different choices that actually truly support us and our body in true health.
Frank thank you for sharing how we can take our relationship with food and what foods our body is wanting to a deeper level.
Thank you Frank. What I have noticed is that my relationship with food is constantly evolving. I still, at times struggle with the strong consciousness around food, that is breakfast lunch and dinner need to be eaten at certain times, should eat protein at each meal etc but so wise is the body that clearly lets me know if I’ve sneakily over eaten or eaten something just because it tastes nice.
There are some really great questions in here Frank that are so supportive in starting the journey of looking at what, why and how we eat. I know that I have eaten on ‘auto-pilot’ so many times – and even though what I am preparing may be healthy and delicious, but it may not be what I actually feel like or need.
Frank you have raised some great points for consideration – thank you. Eating is a process of self-reflection as you say –‘firstly to be honest and ask myself, am I genuinely hungry? If the answer was no, then I had to determine why I was wanting to eat… was it to dull or override another feeling? If I was genuinely hungry it was then the time to consider exactly what I felt like eating, and how much I should prepare and eat.’ Reflecting of why I was hungry has been a powerful process in developing my awareness and truly healing. As I have discovered that what I choose to eat is not just a response to hunger but rather a consideration and awareness of what is needed to support me as I live my day, in connection with myself.
That is a great question to ask Frank, “Am I genuinely hungry?” I know I can sometimes eat more than I need to and I have noticed at work lately that I have been eating because it is lunch time, yet I don’t do this at home. I have realised it is because everyone else is eating and it makes me feel hungry when in truth I am not.
Thank you Frank for a simple blog about food, a subject which seems to throw me a few curve balls now and again – keeps me on my toes. I used to stick rigidly to my three meals a day no matter what. Used to eat even if not hungry and over eat, mainly out of reaction (still learning with that one, especially with snacking). I also have noticed that when I eat what my body wants, the food tastes great and is more enjoyable but when I get something out of the freezer because I can’t be bothered or haven’t got time, then the meal has no taste and I don’t enjoy it.
As I live in a city, there is food displayed everywhere. Constant stimulation of the eyes and the nose, sweet smells, oily smells, the smell of roasted nuts etc etc. The mind is confused as it is used to react on these stimulants, the body has often no say in this all. Everywhere on the street you see people eating different junk foods, without any presence as to what they are actually eating. This is a big thing to change!
As you said Frank – it’s a daily choice. It’s easy for one to just be guided by routine, but feeling into what you actually want and when, is so rewarding, not to mention then how you eat.
Thanks for your (I have to say it!) ‘frank’ sharing Frank! You have raised considerations around food that challenge so much of what we seem to so easily, and somewhat readily and wilfully, accept. I love how you honoured your feeling to have a salad that evening, and that you felt how your body responded. In essence, it IS this simple.
And yet our relationship with food, and what drives us to eat can be anything but!
It is certainly true that we often eat just because it is meal time, and not because we are hungry. And then there are the innumerable snack times in-between with things on offer everywhere, at petrol stations, post offices, on top of mountains, in the deepest gullies. Food is everywhere, or so it seems.
I love the simplicity in how you’ve expressed here Frank. I find that how, when and what I eat is constantly under review. I’ve discovered lately that I actually have more energy, am clear in my thinking and don’t have dips in my energy levels when I eat more lightly during my work day. I had to crack through the belief that I had of needing to fuel myself up, particularly with having a ‘decent breakfast’ so that I would have the energy to work and do all I had to in my day. Seems that less is more sometimes.
Food glorious food. It used to make me feel so tired, still does sometimes when I go a bit ‘over the top’. It is great to eat only when I am hungry, I like how it feels. I used to eat just because it was dinner time (or whatever time food was meant to be eaten) even if I felt really full from lunch or afternoon tea. I eat much less than I used to and feel so much better than I ever used to. I actually can’t believe I used to fit all of that food in! How did I do it?
Frank this was a great read for me as I do struggle with my diet. I am going to print this off and reread it when required. You present many great points for reflection, thank you. Oh and I love the simplicity of your writing, no fan fare, you simply share what needs to be shared and it is powerful, it has inspired me.
The way I am with food and how I choose food has an influence on my well being and how I feel during the day. Also the rhythm when to eat influences my state of being. Food has more effect on our health as society in general is assuming.
So true Brendan. We can’t keep ignoring the fact that food is affecting a whole lot of people on this plant. A great example of the effect from food on our bodies is the new movie called ‘that sugar film’.
Yes Madeline. That film really exposes the affect sugar alone has on the human body – it is staggering. And to truly address it, as Brendan says, the discussion about our emotions and food needs to be considered.
I agree Brendan and Madeline – food has huge emotional connotations for most people. The way we are with food ultimately is an out play of the way we are living our lives. Generally we tend to over eat to stimulate our senses and dull out the empty feeling we may have, at least that has been the case for me. Or we under eat to have the perfect body. For me I would tend to choose foods which stimulated me especially sugary ones – to give me a buzz and an energy boost even though I knew it was short lived and even after studying nutrition. Now the more I look after and truly care for my body I no longer have such intense cravings which I used to.
The question you asked Frank about ‘am I genuinely hungry?’, is one that I can so easily forget yet it sounds so basic and particle. The more I think about it the more I think how silly it is that we don’t truly stop to ask our bodies this question.
I agree Madeline if we are eating and not hungry why are we eating?
So true Madeline. Such a basic and fundamental question that should be asked before we eat. How strange that this is rarely addressed.
Thank you Frank for your blog, it has alerted me more to the need I have, to take the time to really feel into what my body is calling for and not just eat what is most convenient at the time.
Frank I like what you say about food and the fact that we need to feel on a daily basis what our body really needs, which goes beyond having a healthy diet. It is about showing respect to our body and honouring ourselves.
I love how I can eat accordingly to my body. There are very rare moments by now, where I eat non accordingly and it feels awesome. It was a long journey and like you say, neverending refineing will follow. It is great how you support your body and state of being during the day whilst listening what is really good for you and needed.
I agree Brendan – with the increase in obesity are we actually stopping, feeling and listening to our bodies re what foods to eat, how much to eat, when to eat, and in what quality are we eating in? Do we eat for comfort, when we are upset, or to dull our hurts? Much to ponder upon.
Great sharing: sometimes I get a hungry feeling then it’s like in my brain I’m going “Yes! I can eat!” instead of feeling my body and if it actually needs food or I am craving food to numb my body or be distracted.
Ariel, I have this happen to and I can’t believe how strong the hunger pains can be and yet if I stop to consider when I ate last and what I ate, I think to myself I couldn’t possibly be hungry!
None of us have all the answers when it comes to what food to eat when – but that is because we have spent our whole lives choosing what to eat according to habits, and what we think is good, rather than listening to our bodies. An inspiring blog that shows there can be another way. Let the body say what is needed for that day and that time.
It is an ever evolving and changing process, my relationship to food. Filling a hole, eating as a reward, overeating, I still do it. The difference is I immediately feel it in my body and I have the choice to eat something that truly nourishes. So more and more I choose for what my body really needs, instead of what I want to eat.
It is so incredible in how far we are conditioned by what we want to eat instead of what our body needs. We consider ourselves to be the cleverest and most evolved species on this planet, but is there any animal that would behave with such disregard to their body and to themselves?
So true Michael
I have found the same and such a vast difference between what I may crave, at times sugar and salt and what will actually truly nourish my body. There is no one diet fits all rather a constant ever unfolding refining with the way I am with food.
I would say my experience is the same, my food is constantly evolving and changing. There are times sugary foods creep in when my energy is low, or salty when I have nervous energy around. The great thing is my body gives me a signal when this has happened.
Hi delorme2013 I can absolutely relate to what you shared and I have to admit that sometimes even if I knew what my body needs I didn’t chose to eat it – just because I can do it. But then I also had to carry the consequences out of this . . .
Such a deep refinement is our food and what we feel to eat. Thanks Frank.
Great timing reading this blog. I have noticed recently that I have not put much effort into feeling what to eat to support my body after a long day at work. I usually have what’s in the fridge for dinner as I’m tired and so I look for something easy but I don’t necessarily feel into what my body is asking for, what it needs. Tonight was different, I was much more tuned in with myself, I went shopping and immediately felt like white fish, then I went straight for lots of greens, to be cooked with garlic and black pepper. Shopping seemed light and straight forward and when I got home dinner was made within minutes. I noticed as I was eating I appreciated my choice of food, the meal felt complete and satisfying, there was no need for anything sweet after it. I was surprised how simple it was and how I would love to do it again tomorrow night’s dinner!
I have so much to learn about food and the relationship I have with eating. This was great to read.
And we suffer the consequences of missing out on giving our bodies what it truly needs to support it during the day.. then we feel the lack in our body. This is not very loving.
Our relationship with food is often automatic, not based on what the body really needs but what we think we want…..and it can be very uncomfortable to really stop and consider if this is what my body feels or needs to eat? Eating according to what the body needs is a very different experience, often feeling great after the meal and vital rather than bloated, tired and so forth…
I have been feeling a change in my body in regards to the foods I have been choosing to nourish it with and realize it is time to reflect deeper on my choices and why. Thank you Frank for this timely blog.
There are so much diets we can follow or how we think we should eat and when to eat and how much we should eat etc. I thought I was eating what was healthy but I was not I still was following rules and ignoring my body. I am learning to follow and honour my body and to trust that if I truly listen to the signals of my body I will know what when and how much to eat.
‘What I now realise is that food is a daily choice which I actually need to consider every time I decide to eat, not just treat it as an automatic response to hunger.’ Thank you Frank
Frank, I love what you have shared – I find myself daily needing to work out when to eat and what to eat and how much to eat, and what I find fascinating is that what works for me one day, may not work at all for me the next day. It is a constant review and a constant check-in with my body. I don’t always get it right and usually this means I feel more tired or bloated afterwards, but overall it has been a fun experience! And I love ‘getting it right’ for that day – When I eat the right amounts, and the right foods at the right time for my body, I feel full of energy, and clear thinking and ready to handle whatever comes my way in life.
Frank, your contribution to my growing awareness around the true nature of food is much appreciated. I am constantly learning more and more about how my relationship with food is a reflection of my relationship with myself. It is amazing and very different from what I had learnt about food to this point in my life.
A great write up on food and how it’s not just about what we are eating but how, when and why as well. It seems we are not asked to question these other factors. I have never felt much like eating breakfast first thing in the morning but was often told – “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”! Thanks for sharing Frank
Eating in the way you have described has changed my health is such a big way. I used to eat SO much! Waiting until I felt hungry to eat was not even a possibility. At breakfast, lunch, dinner, morning and afternoon tea I ate and ate and ate. And I was exhausted. I now only eat when I am hungry (makes sense) and feel like I have so much more energy not weighed down by all that food.
Perfect to read today as I have been having lots go on with food. All sorts of food has been popping into my head for me to want to eat and yet I have not been hungry and I know the type of food doesn’t make me feel good. So, I have been reflecting on it all, all day! Why am I being pulled to eat anything and everything during these last couple of days? When I fill myself up with food that does not support my body I cannot feel how lovely I am. I feel that I am wanting to connect deeper to how delicate I actually am and yet the want to eat constantly actually stops me from being able to feel this delicateness.
Wow, your blog sheds light on a very important topic, and I feel that it asks me (almost personally) to go deeper with how I eat, what I eat, when, why and how. Thank you for this loving reminder which I will take with me starting with my breakfast today.
Food seems to be an ever evolving process for me, as I learn to listen to my body and what it needs on any given day. Nowadays I give more consideration as to the energy in which I prepare and how I eat, let alone what I eat. Thanks for the blog Frank.
Awesome blog Frank, I am experiencing something I have never experience before. I have started to become more aware of what I eat and how I feel afterwards. Learning to eat when I am hungry and choosing the food that supports my body is a much more loving way to eat.
I can see how I also eat because it is lunch or dinner time, or I think I am hungry, but am actually not. What I struggle with is when food tastes so nice, I always want to have some more….this is an old pattern of mine, overeating so as not to feel. How I still trick myself because the food is healther… overeating is overeating…. one that no longer serves or nourishes my body, time to let it go.
I now love preparing the food that will sustain me for a day at work. It is an other area of life where I apply self reflection and care.
I had a similar experience, Frank, and I love the playful side of it.
Thank you, Frank, for this inspiring blog. A timely read for me. How I choose to eat is a clear indication of where I am at, and I know I am at a place right now to really be honest. It was perfect to read your sharing.
Through the topic of food we can learn a lot about ourselves.
I have found there is nothing as satisfying and filling as the perfect meal chosen by my body. It can often be something unexpected or incredibly simple that my mind wants to complicate. But it just hits the spot when I follow my body’s recipe to the letter.
As we listen and feel more we realise just how loud the body speaks. I get caught up in habits at times, (they are changing so fast) but I love the feeling of lightness and vitality in my body, that is there to embrace as I honour the messages it is continuously imparting.
Awesome sharing, thank you, Frank. I have found that when I am feeling a bit tired I gravitate to food that is quick and easy to eat, which isn’t necessarily what will support my body, in fact mostly I know it won’t. I’ve found it really important to put some hours aside to ensure I have some prepared food at hand that I can have in those moments that will nurture me.
Awesome blog Frank, thank you….time to have some more ‘thought for food’! … it is such a day by day thing to feel what I need to eat and yet I do find myself also just eating because it is lunchtime, or time to have an evening meal, when I may not even be actually hungry….
Frank I have also found myself eating to an order that I didn’t put in place – it was instilled in me through my upbringing and the immense amount of media that, for example, promotes breakfast as the most important meal of the day. The truth is that after I stopped growing, I didn’t necessarily need breakfast, unless I felt like it specifically. Like you I am now being more honest about eating when I am actually hungry, but I have realised these ingrained habits can take some time to shift.
It is so important to constantly check in to your body when deciding what to eat, I sometimes have difficulty with this, mostly at times when there has to be something quick and easy, but that is also something to look at why do I need to have a quick and easy meal?
Preparing food every day with my whole body in mind, feels lovely and supportive.
Thanks for sharing Frank, you have highlighted the importance of establishing an honest relationship with food and how we eat, the results speak for themselves as we learn to listen to our bodies and let go of ideals and beliefs about the way or food to eat.
Thank you Frank – again it shows how set we have become to eat because of the time of day. And I certainly have put that before if I am actually hungry or not.
I used to let stress get the better of me, and was not hungry – but actually it was me just not being able to feel my body.
Now as I bring more presence into my day and check in with my body – it is much easier to know what to eat and when.
I still override it on occasion – I’m working on that – but it is such a huge shift from how I saw food in the past!
Food is a big subject, and I still find myself wrestling with it. I still reach for food because of the taste, and often end up over eating. This is usually when I am going through a challenging period in my life. When things are more settled in my life I find that I have a healthier relationship with food, and more often make choices that truly support me.
I agree Catherine. Frank’sapproach offers such a great support. Bringing back honesty to our relationship with food and keeping it simple.
Hi Frank
Food is such a big thing in my life, it’s big cause everything to do with having those meals takes up a lot of time in my week, every meal I have has an impact on how I will feel the rest of that day and the next couple of days, and the food option is always a way out of actually feeling what I’m feeling or doing what I need to do.
Thanks for your blog as it reminds me that having the right meal at the right time is just lovely for myself.
Joost
Hi Frank, I really appreciated your blog. While reading I connected to the fact that my digestion has its own cycles, so eating because it’s “meal time” must really interfere with the digestive processes if one is not hungry, as the body may not be properly prepared. Forcing it to work when it doesn’t want to, or there is no need for nourishment must put a lot of strain on the body.
I always loved cooking, but since omitting many foods from my diet, I love it even more.
I cannot rely on recipes anymore but have to – and love to – feel what is right for today and proceed with that. The combinations are often uncommon but always very delicious :o)
Awesome blog Frank – there are so many unsaid rules around food that we grow up with, for example eating 3 meals a day, and what we should and shouldn’t eat at each meal, it’s great to weed these out and instead choose what is really right for us at that time.
Thank you Frank! Allowing ourselves the space to make choices, rather than relying on automatic responses, is an approach that could be applied to all situations – not just how we eat.
Great blog Frank. Our relationship with food is a very personal one as it is really our relationship with ourselves first as you have shown.
I agree Brendan. Thank you again Frank, I’ve really enjoyed returning to read this. ”Was I eating something just because it tasted nice and therefore made me feel nice?” I’ve been exploring this one and I’ve also added ‘is it because it feels nice in my mouth and therefore makes me feel comforted that I want to eat this.’ I’ve found comfort from food is huge and never even realised how I use it to mask what I was really feeling.
Thank you Frank- a great reminder of how am I still choosing to eat?- for comfort, to dull myself, check out and not feel me, to please others, as a reward ,or as society dictates we should eat.
Great point Kathryn- “Eating to provide the body with the fuel that it requires in any given moment feels more like food is a form of medicine”- I shall now put this into action more.
Eat when you are hungry and tune in to what your body is telling you it needs. Check in with yourself and how you are feeling if you find yourself reaching for food outside these guidelines. It’s a no brainer that this is one diet that will finally work for all bodies.
Thank you for sharing your experience Frank. Listening to your body in regards to food is difficult as there is so much that we eat because it is time to eat or we are hungry and a certain food is the easiest. This is an area that I am trying to explore further – eating what I feel will be truly supportive for my body at a time that feels right. There are a lot of habits and patterns that I need to address to do this but have felt the benefits of when I get it right.
Thank you Frank I love the title of your article…. ‘thought for food’ and yes this is a very different way we can see the benefits of what we eat. Rather then just eating for pleasure or to fill ourselves up or even because we are tired and emotional. Eating to provide the body with the fuel that it requires in any given moment feels more like food is a form of medicine. When I think of food as medicine it takes the eating moment to a whole new level. I choose what to eat with care and consideration. I choose when to eat by listening to my body not looking at the clock and I choose to eat now to support me in my day not just for the entertainment of it.
You have definitely given me “food for thought’ Frank. Like you; “I haven’t got all the answers and I also know that this is an ongoing process”, but I have been committed to building a new relationship with food since attending my first Universal Medicine workshop with Serge Benhayon. Whereas in the past I fed my emotions and my tiredness and what my mind convinced me I wanted, I now listen to my body and feed it with much more respect and as a result my health and my life has improved dramatically.
What an awesome blog Frank. What it highlights to me is that there is much more to our food choices than we realize. Not only with the choice of foods we eat, and the reasons we make those choices, but also that there is available an inner sense that knows exactly what the body needs and wants to eat in any given moment. A revelation for the nutrition industry.
I recently observed that some food makes me tired. Not because I eat too much of it, just because the food doesn’t suit me. And I can be stubborn here, because there is not much food left, that really leaves me with a good and vital feeling. This clashes with what I have learned from childhood: which food is healthy, if I should cook it or have it raw etc. Universal Medicine helps me to free myself from these ideals and beliefs step by step.
Food is a daily choice, great reminder to not get into an eating routine, but to always listen to your body. I really like how you write about those eating beliefs around what is a lunch food and what is the right food for dinner, etc. All those things are heavily dictated from the food marketing industry who only thinks in profit and never in wellbeing. We have to claim our authority back to be able to choose the right food and feel what to eat and not eat what is dictated to us.
The irony of the fact that the food marketing industry only thinks about profit and never well-being, is that if it thought first about well-being it would make more profit. Because then the marketing would be in line with what actually works. Its main job would then be convincing people that they did actually want what works, rather than sit in the willful ignorance of that the marketing industry currently use to their advantage.
Thank you Frank, that is exactly what I have experienced.
The more I allow myself to truly feel what my body needs, the easier and clearer it becomes what food is adequate in which moment. With me this varies to a certain extent and is always developing. It is so beautiful to feel how much lighter and more vital my body has become since then.
Eating is one of the activities that reflect clearly what is my relationship with the world. If I want not to be where I am, eating is my best friend. If I want to feel and keep feeling eating is my best friend. If I feel like nurturing myself, eating is my best friend. How I eat and what I eat in these occasions is not equivalent. Eating is a micro-management tool to relate to the world.
Some really interesting points you present Frank, as so often we can use food in every way but to nurture and nourish our bodies. It definitely feels it is something I need to give greater time to, as I too find myself making questionable decisions, and not truly feeling how my body feels to eat.
It is very interesting Frank our relationship with food and how when we become more aware to how it makes us feel we can make better choices that support more energy and vitality in our lives. I used to have a pattern of overeating so i didn’t have to feel much of what was really going on in life , the bloated belly was very numbing and a way for me to check out and not go deeper.
Well said Greg. There is so much control in our eating and our food. I have found it can take a lot of honesty and eventually truth to really allow myself to deeply connect to the way I have eaten and whether something is true for me to eat or not.
Our relationship with food sure is fascinating!
Great blog – It really breathes life into the term emotional eating. I spent so many years looking for quick fixes and answers, solutions and rules to food and eating and now I have begun to understand that my relationship with body is the one constant and how I respond to it and support that changes on a daily basis.
Absolutely Nicole.
I can relate Nicole, previously to working with Universal Medicine I followed diets that provided lists of what to eat when and for which occasion or ailment. This was an approach entirely done from the mind, but the only diet that truly works is if you establish a relationship with your body. The body, as Frank so beautifully describes, can tell you every moment of the day if it is time to eat something and what is the right food to support you.
Yes Janene, a constant refining of what suits our body and what does not. Thank you for bringing up resistance, I feel this is a big player for me too that needs to be named and exposed.
Yes Andrew, this was a total epiphany for me too! Like this article has released me from the shackles of ‘mealtime’. After reading this last night, I now sit here with no ‘hearty breakfast’ on my desk and I feel great! I can feel my body as it’s not sluggish trying to digest something (bacon and eggs) it was not asking for. It makes total sense. Feeling like some fresh celery is on the way ;).Simple.
Good on you Frank! It feels like you are developing a really healthy and evolving relationship with food and one that many could learn from, including myself. I make food a struggle most days and choose food out of convenience and taste rather than actually listening to what my body wants. As I write this my mind is creating more issues of ‘well how do you listen to your body’ – ‘how can it make choices’ and so on. Please mind! The body is the one processing and dealing with the food so it knows what it needs inside and out! It’s just up to me to give it a little space and a chance for it to be heard. Wow! Ok, I got it. Thanks Frank 😉
Food and eating is such a constant part of our life. I never realised how much food could affect me. I also didn’t realize that what I eat needs to be constantly looked at and reviewed. I didn’t grow up with this awareness but it makes all the difference now to know that how I feel is constantly being affected by what I am eating and drinking.
Great what you say in your last sentence. What food to eat needs to be a consistent choice and not a thing that just needs to be done. It then becomes an automatic thing to do, for example: I liked that yesterday so I will eat it today and the next day, and the day after that and so on..
What you introduce here Frank is revolutionary….eating based on what you feel is needed rather than a mental picture of what is right or ‘craved’.
I can so relate to the questions you asked yourself Frank, especially this one – “The process then was one of self-reflection; firstly to be honest and ask myself, am I genuinely hungry?”… I know there are many times I eat when I’m not hungry, and these times feel so different compared to when I listen to my body and what it needs. I feel lighter and not tired when I only eat when my body needs it. Another thing I’ve discovered is, foods I did not like my whole life, my body is now loving. So I am a lot more open now to exploring different food.
Eating because it is a certain time of the day is so common for so many people. It took me ages to get that I did not have to eat morning tea just because it was morning teatime. It is very freeing to listen to the body and follow its prompts rather than follow the clock.
It’s easy to get caught up in that momentum of either eating when we don’t need to but thinking that we need to get through the day or some other good rational argument; or eating something as you say, Marcia, because the mind wants it or it’s convenient. On some days it can take a lot of conscious presence to not just take the easy option of going with the momentum but it feels so much better not to of course. I am still surprised by how little food I actually need sometimes.
This also reminds me that we cannot ever become fixed about food but must stay open and receptive to listening to what our body wants.
Great share Frank. Constantly evolving with food and loving choices with nurturing my body.
Thanks Frank I really got a lot out of reading your blog. It really occurred to me when you said you used to eat brekky, lunch & dinner because your used to it but are you actually hungry at these times. This is an area of refinement for me and I will be definitely feeling into it a lot more.
For me it’s about looking into the belief of growing thinking that this is what we have to do….mmmm food for thought
Frank thanks for bringing this very important topic to light. I have under gone all that you have so clearly described. As well as the conditioning of eating at certain times that I have had to let go, I have also had to let go of beliefs around food groups e.g. you must have protein with your lunch and dinner and the more fruit and vegetables that you eat the better. Interestingly even though I wasn’t made to eat everything on my plate as a child I have also had to let go of the need to finish everything on my plate.
Wow Frank you have made me realize something that I had never considered before. I do sometimes find myself going for the easiest option and not truly asking my body what it really needs in that moment or if I am actually hungry at all. Instead of going into auto pilot mode and just eating because its dinner etc or if I am really eating to mask something else. This is definitely an area I feel to investigate further. Thank you so much.
Awesome, thats a new level of choosing food that I would like to go to where instead of just thinking of what I have and what’s easy to also feel what my body is really asking for to be nourished.