I remember as I child I used to sing all the time, making up little tunes and adding words to go with them. I remember adults commenting to my mother about what a happy child I was. I also look back at how that love of natural expression became crushed when trying out for the school choir around the age of 8, when I was told my voice was too deep to sing with the other girls and I would have to stand at the back and sing the second part with the boys. Whilst this may not sound bad, the way it was delivered was so harsh and judgemental that it made me feel crushed, and my natural exuberance for singing became something that I started to withhold and keep in check.
About age eleven I auditioned for the school musical at high school and didn’t even get called back to be a part of the chorus, and that for me was the end of any attempts to be part of a group singing activity. It got to the point where during school assembly I would mouth the words to the hymns but never actually sing them as I didn’t want to be singled out for being off key or out of tune.
I still loved to sing but only when others couldn’t hear me. As a teenager I would have my music blasting, singing along in the privacy and safety of my own room, knowing that the music was so loud no one would ever hear my dulcet tones. As I got older I would do this in the car or at home when I was in the house alone.
I started playing guitar in my 20’s and even started taking music grades; this way I could indulge in my love of music without having to sing. But imagine my horror when during my first music grade the examiner asked me to listen to a note and sing it back to her. Well I simply refused point blank to do it and even got aggressive over it. It cost me 20 marks but there was no way I was going to ‘sing,’ especially not in front of a complete stranger!
More recently, because I have attended events run by Universal Medicine, I have been learning about and exploring expression through voice and music.
I have also watched Chris James sing and work with an audience to encourage them to let go of what stands in the way of them exploring their natural voice: a voice that comes from connecting to yourself and feeling the sound develop, and expressing from your body rather than attaching to how it sounds.
During a Universal Medicine Retreat, Chris James was invited to take the stage and lead the participants in some singing exercises. Tentatively and very quietly at first I found myself joining in with a simple ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’, without pushing or trying. I found my voice was deep and resonant, with a richness that had never come through when singing along to music in my room or my car. It had a delicate quality combined with a power and strength that was so exquisite it moved me to tears – tears of joy and relief for all that I had held back – being allowed to express again as I did so naturally when I was a little girl.
And now I love to sing; I join group sings and don’t hold back when Chris James invites us to sing along or when Michael Benhayon and Miranda Benhayon of Glorious Music perform. I even joined a women’s singing group for a few months where we would sing acapella (without musical accompaniment) and we even gave a performance to around 100 people at a local event – something I would never have imagined or even been capable of a few years ago.
Now I find myself singing when I walk the dog, on my way to work, and even around the office and the supermarket, no different to when I was that young girl, all full of joy and expression that I simply had to let it out.
I have been inspired to sing again through the work of Chris James and Glorious Music and now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide. And whilst I may not have perfect pitch, I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.
By Dr Rachel Hall Dentist Kenmore Brisbane
Further Reading:
Everyone Is Born With A Beautiful Voice – Singing And Speaking
Exploring, and Singing with, my True Voice
The Joy of Music Without the Pain
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
When we get criticised as children for the sound of our voice it can be deeply crushing as it is part of our natural expression, and if we are asked to make it sound a perfect note it is not our natural way, it was not until I met Serge Benhayon and Chris James that I learnt how we all have a beautiful voice.
I recently let go of an old hurt and have since found myself singing again, having not done so since being a child. There is such joy in my body when it is now able to freely express again in this way.
Wonderful to hear Rachel. Holding back the naturalness of our expression can feel quite devastating to us, it’s like we hold back living a crucial part of us. Like using just one leg to walk when you have two perfectly working ones.
Our voice is what it is. When we sing attuned to what is naturally ourselves, this permits us to feel the beauty that this represents even if this does not fly regarding the eras and the images of how the music has to be, feel and sound.
Gosh I reckon we should all get together and sing 🙂 what lovely comments.
The work Chris James does really is beautiful in how he supports people to tune back in with their innate expression and enjoy experimenting with singing and how we talk, without judgment and with awareness of our whole body.
“Hiding My Natural Voice” – it’s interesting that how we live life does hide or mask our voice, as in, if we live life not as the real-us but as a performing us, then we are hiding our naturalness and hence natural voice. How we live, how we hold ourselves with naturalness and ease (or not) is felt in our voice.
Our natural voice is something that we are born with – no trying or effort involved.
The feeling of letting out what I have held back is one which solidifies my feeling and expression of myself, it’s like my particles have expanded and are all valued and they have a space, every voice matters no matter how long we have chosen to snuff it out. It is pure joy!
‘I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.’ and this is what it’s all about. Not everyone is going to be a professional singer or end up on some the X Factor, but singing can still be something to be enjoyed and bring a lightness of being to a person.
We crush children (and adults) when they sing because we value a certain kind of voice, and not the joy of simply expressing ourselves.
Wow what struck me in your blog was someone else’s judgement, or in this case how another person deciding whether you’re in a musical or where you go in a choir can totally shut down someone’s natural and innate expression. This is a massive reminder to never judge someone else’s expression and instead always be encouraging.
It can be so crushing and confidence destroying when as a child we are told harshly or in a way that is insenitive that our voice is different to others or is too high or too low, and then we take on the belief we cannot sing, which can and often does lock up our expression, as was my experience. It is so very freeing to sing again and so much joy too that my whole body feels lighter afterwards.
I like to observe how people sing, voices are very honest, it shows all our quality and our choices. We have been very fooled to think that good singing is only what we hear in the sound, there is a whole spectrum of vibration and quality that is there too.
I never thought about singing showing all our quality and our choices, but yes of course this makes sense, our tone and pace of our voices tell us so much about ourselves and where we are at, are we speaking from our bodies or from our heads?
Those moments in life where we feel crushed or judged in our expression by others, can indeed cause us to pull back and contract from bringing ourselves fully to life. However this sets up a pattern which is not only a holding back pattern, but is draining of our own life-force.
The truth lays in surrendering — by our connection to who we are – is when our voice will become more truthful and strong.
It is beautiful to feel you reclaim your expression through singing, that which is something we all can do with our naturally beautiful and uniquely sounding voices. The joy of singing is felt as we allow the vibration of God resound through our bodies, and with our voices reflect this quality. We all have access to freely express and sing this in our own way, when we simply surrender to how beautiful it is to feel this connection.
When we connect more deeply to our innermost the voice starts to come more from the body and we express so much more of who we truly are.
So much joy is felt in your experience Rachel, the joy that is actually natural to us all when we allow our natural expression to flow.
I’m sure many people have a story similar to your own Rachel. Just one comment from someone when we are growing up is sometimes enough to silence us for years. Yes it is so totally joyful to rediscover the joy of our natural voice, and Chris James is a master at helping people to do this. Really lovely to read your experience and the recent healing that has occurred.
That’s what singing and expressing is all about. I constantly talk with myself and smile too, it’s very awesome.
I also remember belting out hymns in primary school and loving singing too Rachel… though had been put off through someone in my family telling me to “shush, quieten down”. Isn’t it interesting that the one thing we loved as a young child like singing/expression and which was quashed to some extent, turns out to be our strength later as an adult.
Its only in recent times I have become acquainted to my natural voice. I’m not a singer, although sometimes I would like to take some lessons from Chris James to really discover my singing voice. When I recently heard my voice on a recording, I absolutely loved hearing it. There was no harshness, just a gentle, claimed voice.
I know there are more areas I need to present my voice to and I look forward to my voice unfolding even more and maybe one day I will sing – who knows.
It seems to be a common experience for many that confidence around singing is crushed by judgement or harsh expression of another. So how gorgeous, Rachel that you found your voice and love of expression through singing again.
To live is to truly and freely express, anything less is not truly living. We are naturally very expressive beings and have such capacity to let this out for all to feel and be inspired by.
We are so used to judging our voice and others based on its ability to deliver perfect pitch or a certain sound, all the time unaware that the quality and vibration of the expression is what matters more.
The quality in our voices are unmistakable in the truth of ourselves it cannot be hidden and our body as always is so honest.
When we express how we feel without fear we give others the inspiration to do the same and this is such a joy to behold. Thank you Rachel.
The joy of finding our natural voice is deeply beautiful very freeing and exquisite and brings us back to who we truly are in our expression and love ” It had a delicate quality combined with a power and strength that was so exquisite it moved me to tears – tears of joy and relief for all that I had held back – being allowed to express again as I did so naturally when I was a little girl.” Absolutely Beautiful
We are often born feeling life and expressing what we feel, sadly it is something which we start to edit and censor wanting to fit in and be more acceptable or approved of.
Rediscovering your natural voice makes your heart sing.
When we sing from our connection to our bodies it feels so joyous and the quality in which we sing is felt from within, as it fills every space with love and warmth which feels amazing too.
There is something so incredible about not holding back when we sing… It’s like an extraordinary instant life lesson on commitment, connection, expression,… What a package 🙂
So much can be felt when someone uses their voice, whether it is in speaking or in singing, for example when someone speaks to us in a harsh tone we can experience it as very jarring. Words that are spoken when we are connected with the body are easy to listen to even if we are being reprimanded.
The most perfect pitch we can have is the sound of the soul singing through us
Beautifully expressed
I love to sing and especially to dance. I think I’m not pitch perfect however when I sing from my body the sound resonates through me and fills my heart and lungs with a full connection of joy. There is nothing like singing to fill you up and clear the cobwebs.
That is super cool Rachel that you have rediscovered your true voice. It really is all about the quality of our voice rather than the technical ability or skill and when I speak or sing in my true voice that comes from my body it feels amazing.
I loved reading how you are now expressing yourself through singing Rachel. It’s interesting how just the thing we can bring so naturally to others is the thing that is criticized to put us off bringing it.
“now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide. And whilst I may not have perfect pitch, I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” I loved what you have shared Rachel, being able to connect back to your beautiful natural voice, this I am in the process of doing as I am learning to step away from the judgment I have held my voice in for so many years and learn to feel my true quality coming from my body.
When pushed nothing is enjoyable, we can feel the expectation and imposition. But expressing because we can’t hold it back is truly amazing and we can’t get enough of it!
I love this Adele yep expressing what is natural to us no holding back just being who we are and being at absolute ease with it.
Something small can stay with us for years if we don’t express it and expose the absurdity of how it impacts us e.g. you being told to stand at the back of the singing group.
So many can relate to this story – of being pretty much told to shun away and shut away their voice and expression. Something so natural as singing as been placed in the realm of competitiveness and superiority – that some have the ‘gift’ and some don’t.
What a lie this is – our voice when allowed to be free in its natural expression, sings and speaks the sound of God. And there is not an ounce of competitiveness or ‘better than’ in sight – it is all just divine expression, unique in its delivery and form, filled with exuberance, power and joy.
It’s true Katarina… This really is a lie… And how extraordinary how pervasive it is… All around the world people are being shut down… And it’s not just in past generations… This suppression is alive and well now, as the Ubiquitous singing contests divide into winners and losers with no thought at all to the damage that this is doing
“I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” That’s it in a nutshell Rachel. Singing is an expression of our innate joy – uncontainable and magical.
Learning to surrender and sing with our natural voice is very beautiful and shines out from within us as if by magic and everything changes as we let go and sing . Chris James is indeed an inspirational teacher and leader in transforming the lives of so many bringing back our natural voice again having been surpressed for so long.
And the wonderful thing is… That despite so much suppression and oppression, humanity can still always, if given the opportunity, the doorway, find its voice to express with all that is there to express, and to start, by the beautiful vehicle of expression, to heal.
Your blog puts a smile on my face Rachel. I love how you describe your voice, the delicate quality with power and strength combined, the natural expression of a woman coming out can only be called exquisite.
There was a time when I was little that I used to sing practically everything instead of talking … it used to drive my family nuts!!! It is great to hear that you have not only found your voice again but are allowing it to flourish in singing groups, while walking the dog in the supermarket and around the office. No longer is your expression capped 💕
Not only do we hide our natural voice when we sing we also do it when we speak. I have become more aware of when my voice doesn’t sound like me and this is always when I have disconnected from myself.
Well said Elizabeth. The quality of the way we speak or sing is a reflection of how we have been living and the quality of our movements. If we are disconnected, so too will our voice. Moving from connection to ourselves will magnify our connection in our bodies and also be expressed through our voice.
.Exactly Lucy…! And this is not rocket science… It is something that everyone, given the opportunity, can actually feel themselves. And once this is felt, we have the ongoing amazing opportunity to feel when we are speaking from our intellect ( from our heads) or from the whole intelligence of our bodies ( our hearts) and we can start to really really recognise and know the difference.
And this is such an eye-opener isn’t it… And it really is like the Irish say when they say hello… Is that yourself then? And so obviously we can often say no actually it’s not ! 🙂
This is beautiful Rachel! Within us all is a rich store of treasure and joy, and wisdom and know-how, and learning to give ourselves permission to release it is truly wonderful, as a child does when they have no caps on themselves and they allow themselves to express, so too can we re-connect back to that rich flowing expression when we are adults.
I know when I sing without any holding back in anyway I feel such power and grace throughout my whole body, it is deeply healing when we can express in this true way.
It is gorgeous to read this again and feel the liberation that comes when we free ourselves to simply express who we are and what we feel be it through singing, speaking or our movements. Expression is never about perfection and as you pointed out when were younger we just expressed. We sang out, spoke up and moved when we felt to, we were never concerned about perfection when doing so, and clearly the illusion of being perfect or measuring up to be considered accepted was introduced to us at some point as was comparison and competition. The beautiful thing is that, that way of being in still with us, it is who we are, as we in essence have not changed it is only our connection to ourselves that have.
Hiding what is natural in us and for us is huge and is deeply hurting us. We learn a way without it. We master it. Yet, it is never US until we realize what we have said yes to, feel that such character is not truly US, claim back what is truly natural in and for us and incorporate this into our daily movements.
Thank you Rachel – you make us realize that hiding our voice, not only with singing, does has an effect on us. And that when we express with our voice we actually open up pathway for someone else to express too.
This shows us the absolute radiance we have when we express from who we are with our natural voice. And can you imagine – it is whenever you open up your mouth to speak. All is felt by your voice. Being that who you are or that which you have put between or over it to hide that. The naturalness of who we are, even if we have hidden it, never in fact changes as it always remains the absolute beauty it is in expression.
It is interesting how much we hold back when we are afraid of what people think of our voice when we sing. I imagine a lot more people would be singing in public, like in the supermarkets, on the streets or when they are out and about if we as a society are not so stuck on achieving a perfect pitch voice when it comes to singing.
What your experience highlights Rachel is how confidence is naturally found when we are in our body. When we are taught to think and act from our heads we lose confidence because we go out of our body and hence are not feeling our natural steadyness with our innate feelings and truth.
Thank you Rachel for sharing that “I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” I love this line, it puts a smile on my face too, I was told from when I was young I couldn’t sing and this made me self conscious about my voice even though I loved to sing on my own, when I joined a choir it was all about getting it right, with judgment coming as I separated from my body. I have felt how my voice can sing without any judgment and going up into my head, and it feels beautiful being in tune with my whole body.
I have found how expressing myself in full when I am singing has really supported me to express myself more fully when I am speaking. From being someone who would not open her mouth to speak in front of other people, let alone sing, I have gained so much confidence from working with my expression by attending courses with Chris James that I would not have imagined possible before. This beautiful freedom of expression brings with it such a liberation and joy, that I cannot recommend it enough, for anyone of any age!
How important it is to let children express themselves, so that we do not have a world full of adults who not only struggle to express themselves, but also find it necessary to inhibit the expression of others.
Our voices, whether we are speaking or singing say so much about us. When we allow ourselves to open up and connect more deeply with ourselves a different kind of sound comes out.
Absolutely Elizabeth. I have noticed how true this is the case even when speaking. When we live from our inner most connection, our voice comes from a deeper part of ourselves, and it has a soothing quality to everyone that hears it.
Our greatest hurts are not those done by other people but the pain of holding back who we are and naturally expressing the joy of our uniqueness.
I so agree Rachael
“a voice that comes from connecting to yourself and feeling the sound develop, and expressing from your body rather than attaching to how it sounds.” This is a beautiful description. I have not thought of it this way before.
The slogan… “everyone is born with a beautiful voice” could not be more true but it makes me wonder where the idea that we don’t have a beautiful voice came from in the first place. I can’t remember a time exactly where I was told I didn’t have a beautiful voice but the thought nevertheless has been there during adulthood and it has been clouded by my lack of appreciation for the voice I do have and the comparison with others for having a better voice. Total lie!
“….and now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide.” Glorious. – and as you go on to remark, we not need to have perfect pitch to share the joy in our voice. I was very shut down when young and have a natural quietly spoken voice, but can now project if I need to. Chris James’ workshops are so empowering for both speaking and singing.
Rachel, it just goes to show how one experience of condemning you in a condescendingly way to sing up the back with the boys completely decimated your potential to just enjoy singing and being yourself for years to come. This is making me wonder how many other people in this world have had one incident in life like that that has completely obliterated their confidence and has totally capped them living their potential from every angle of their life.
I feel like I am breaking away from hiding my voice and I loved reading how you now sing openly during your day, without hesitation to whoever may be in ear range. It really highlights how we can hold onto one or a handful of moments that are then further used to keep us from expressing our truth.
I found the same thing with school plays and productions – I auditioned a few times, and ended up as one of the barn animals from the manger as opposed to any kind of recognisable role… When it came to sing my part I hung back from the mic and allowed the other girls to sing, and considering it was years and years ago it’s amazing I can remember it in so much detail! We really do hold on to these things…
Now THAT is a great image Susie… ending up as a barn animal… and thats where most people feel they have ended up with their voices and with their expression… but the truth is … we are ALL born with a beautiful voice…. now where have I heard that? 🙂
The damage that can be caused by criticising another for the way they sound when they sing, or even when they speak, can potentially be irrevocable. But with the support of the amazing work of Chris James, it is possible to change the way we feel about our voices and to let go of the fear and dread we may have around expressing ourselves, in whatever form that may take. And it is absolutley possible to discover that there is an absolute joy in singing or speaking when there are no obstacles in the way, that could otherwise prevent our own unique and true expression.
Yes it’s so true Sandra… if we actually understood, felt and knew the effect we can have on others with our judgements and comments we would perhaps be so much more care-full and supportive of each other
The joy of singing in the unselfconscious way I did when I was a child has returned for me too after working with Chris James to let go of all the hibbits (habits) and beliefs I’d taken on in my many years of singing in bands for recognition and acceptance. The unrestrained joy I feel now when I sing is beyond this world.
I am struck by the crushing effects of auditioning for a choir etc and the long-term implications this obviously has for so many people. Singing together can be such a joyful experience but not when any element of competition is introduced.
Helen it is so true… did you know that if a group sings together for long enough their hearts literally start to beat together… surely this alone is enough to prove the interconnectedness of all things, and to deepen our understanding that this really is ‘one life’.
The cumulative effect of so many of us holding back our singing voices is huge. A singing teacher told me to mime at the age of 11 and until I attended a Chris James workshop over 40 years later I had never sung in front of other people. It is such a natural way of joyfully expressing ourselves and this lack of expression is everyone’s loss.
This blog shows me how important it is to deliver words with an energy that supports a person’s natural expression rather than crushing it. If we celebrated variation and differences in school, it would be natural to say “Wow, how great it is to have a girl who can sing the deep notes”. Instead we want to box everyone up and exclude anyone who doesn’t fit. This is where we gradually give up on our uniqueness and try to be what others want us to be. This is a loss for society as a whole as we lose the richness of our different expressions.
This is a beautiful testament of letting go of our inhibitions to sing, gathered from old hurts and feeling that letting them go is so much better.
Rachel… perfect pitch is a ‘furphy’ … I don’t have perfect pitch … it is quite rare … to be able to sing a concert pitch without a reference note… now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about you being the first singing dentist …☺ … and you can say … ” now really open your mouths”
This is beautiful to read Rachel and something that I too have experienced through the work of Chris James. I always loved singing as a child and a young adult, but would never dare to stand in front of people and sing on my own. Hiding in a choir was ok as no one could specifially hear my voice. In fact I put off going to a Chris James workshop because of an absolute dread of having to sing in front of other people. But always having had a fear of truly expressing myself, even when speaking, I decided eventtually one day to go, and I have never looked back. I discovered a voice in me that I never knew was there, that has a power, delicacy and sweetness all rolled into one and which I now love to share with others. I bless that day that I went to my first workshop with Chris James.
And how extraordinary what you are doing with your voice now Sandra, with such a commitment to bring that pure joy into so many institutions… sounds wonderful! 🙂
Yes cjames. When we sing from a true connection to who we are everyone feels it, both young and old, and it has the power to ignite something inside people that they know is already there but that they so often choose to ignore. It’s very beautiful to witness someone reconnecting with themselves in this way.
There is nothing more lovely than opening up your body and singing along to a Glorious Music tune – it sparks in me an aliveness, I don’t sing often in front of others but am finding for myself that it is okay to do that and not worry what others think about that.
Awesome Rachel. Even just one moment of feeling looked-down on or rejected can lead to years of contraction and holding back how we would otherwise freely express, so how important is it for us to read/look at the reason of why these things happen and then not react to them, because otherwise both we and everyone else misses out on your natural voice in this case, or other areas of expression.
I loved singing as a child and, like you, Rachel, would sing at every opportunity. At school I was in the choir and, as it was a Catholic school, there was an opportunity to sing every week in church. As an adult I was around music a lot but lost confidence in my ability to hold a tune without the support of a choir. I loved harmonies and would sing along with recorded songs but it was only when I started attending Chris James workshops that I discovered how beautiful my singing voice really is and that I CAN sing in tune. My speaking voice is also beautiful when I am tender, and that is something I am working on developing too.
I love that you have not made peoples reactions bigger than the joy you bring. By choosing to sing once more and claim back your voice, you are sending out a message that says it is OK to listen to ourselves. That is very powerful in todays society where so many of us let outside circumstances dictate our actions.
Well expressed – ‘not making people’s reactions bigger than the joy that you bring’ – and I’d include my own reactions in that, too. Great reminder to keep life simple, focused on the what is, and not all the other stuff we can sometimes get caught in.
I always held the belief that I couldn’t sing and that only people who could sing well should sing. I did one workshop with Chris James and discovered what it felt like to sing and let my voice out. It was wonderful. And whilst I’m still hesitant who I sing in front of, I definitely sing more that I used to and love how it feels.
Rachel, this is really lovely, “now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide.” Reading this I can feel how we all have a unique voice and that this a thing to be celebrated. It seems that in society we have labeled voices as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘out of tune’ etc; these labels are harmful and make us compare our voices to other peoples and often we think we have a ‘bad voice’. I was told I was tone deaf, but having attended workshops by Chris James I can feel that my voice is beautiful too and so I am starting to enjoy singing again and noticing that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with my voice.
Chris James is an inspiring teacher, supporting everyone to find their natural voice again. Great to read how much you now love singing even with others around.
Beautiful Rachel, it is gorgeous to read that you are singing again like you did when you were a little girl. I notice with young children how they love to sing to themselves, it feels very joyful and innocent. I went to singing lessons and remember the teacher telling my mum I was tone death and so there was no point in me singing and so that stopped me singing until recently, I was also inspired by Chris James to sing again and it feels gorgeous not being critical of how my voice sounds and instead enjoying singing in my own unique way.
“I have been inspired to sing again through the work of Chris James and Glorious Music and now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide”.
How gorgeous Rachel, very inspiring that you have found your true voice and you appreciate all that that brings.
How freeing it is to learn that we are all born with amazing voices and that we need not fit in with another’s picture of how we should sing, what we should sing, how it need sound, what pitch, volume or rhythm preferred…for in us each expressing our inner-most essence, our voice will be true.
I know of quite a few people with a similar story such as yours Rachel, they have been too afraid to sing because of being shutdown when they were younger. Chris James’s workshops are a beautiful support that re-connects you to your true and natural singing voice and it is awesome to feel how freeing and joyful it is to express in this way.
Years ago when I was small you would hear people singing in the street or whistling as they go about their day, and we used to associate it with people feeling good about things or content with their lot, but this very rarely happens these days, and in fact it would really stand out now. Is this telling us that people do not feel joy-full in their day to day?
Our voice is heard whether we speak or not! You just have to look at silent movies to see this. Our body has a voice that is so expressive and when we prevent this expression we are doing a great deal of harm to the body.
My mother loves singing and I can remember when I went up to high school and applied to join the school choir.The music teachers went around us as we sang and picked out those children that fitted what they were looking for. I too clearly felt (but not expressed it until now) that my voice was not high enough as it suited me to sing lower. I was not chosen and I felt very disappointed not only for myself but also for my mum too. I felt disappointment because there was a trying in my singing and a picture I was holding to sing in the choir which I had not fulfilled. I realise I wanted recognition and self identification especially from my mother and thought singing would be a good way to get it!
I love the work that Chris James’ does – supporting people to reconnect with their natural voice and expression and helping us to be more aware of our body and the way in which we are expressing. It’s beautiful how you can now appreciate the quality of your natural voice and not hold it back!
Thank you Rachel – a wonderful re-read to allow myself to be inspired to no longer hold back and actually let loose my full expression! And at the same time to still allow myself the understanding of the fear of letting go and letting myself be seen fully.
Rachel today as I read your blog I smiled, how you weren’t even called back to sing in the chorus when you were young, and how you refused to sing back a note later on, a beautiful reminder how we hold ourselves back through previous experiences, and as you have found you do have a natural voice we can all enjoy.
I too was that young girl who used to sing all the time. I loved singing, however other’s comments were always so negative and critical that I just stopped. However, after hearing Miranda’s voice there was a knowing in me that we all can sing and that singing is just another form of expression. Recently I have been singing so much more and it feels amazing!
From being shamed to silence my first day in the infant class, by a teacher who put tape over my mouth simply because I asked a question, I became very awkward whenever I did speak or try to express myself. This affected me most of my life until I came across Universal Medicine and Chris James both of whom have have supported me immensely to free myself of this stranglehold and to realise that my voice whether singing or speaking is beautiful and worth hearing when I bring the whole of me in my natural and beautiful essence to it. All I need to do is connect to that.
Having to stand with the boys to sing as a young girl may not have been bad in itself. However I know of other girls who experienced this kind of ‘shunning’ and how much it affected them. It feels like a rejection and lack of valuing of our unique style of femininity. It says you are more like a boy, that you have to fit in to what it looks like to be a girl or a woman or else. It can have such a strong, life-long impact on our expression and not letting our selves just be. I feel this where parents play such an important role in supporting kids to express what they feel and discern the energy that is directed at them.
Thank you Rachel, it is when we allow ourselves to surrender to that quality within and express from that place that no matter what we sing will be unique and heavenly.
Beautiful to hear Rachel that you can spread the wonders of your essence and beauty with your voice again.
I can relate entirely to what is shared here. My personal experience with singing and expression has been one of held back-ness a bit like the experiences shared here. Here I was thinking that to fix it I had to make it better by refining the way I express but the real key is in dealing with the underlying hurts as these are the real blocks to the amazing expressions we all have within us
I too used to mouth the words of songs so that others would not hear me but with the gentle encouragement while attending weekends and events with Chris James I now sing with joy.
Shows there is no need to judge another for their actions or try to push them to do something they do not want to do. They may seem stubborn, aggressive or even forceful and defiant in their ways but this is simply a barrier to block the hurt from former experiences.
I just loved your story Rachel, it brought tears to my eyes just reading it as I could relate to what you have shared, I now am opening up more to feel the joy in my own voice within a group, but I have not as yet become comfortable singing on my own when someone can hear me. Your blog has inspired me to not hold back anymore and just enjoy the sound in my body.
……..”tears of joy and relief for all that I had held back – being allowed to express again as I did so naturally when I was a little girl.” I remember attending a Chris James workshop for the first time and feeling like I had opened my voice box for the fist time in years – I had re-set a benchmark of freedom in my body that had been buried for what felt like lifetimes.
Your so beautiful Rachel, what a stunning story of rediscovery. Our voices are like a treasure deep inside us, when we shine them up they sparkle brighter than the stars in the sky. All slightly different in vibration and pitch but when from the heart equal in quality.
It is interesting how much we can crush anybody who has a natural ability to do something which does not fit the image the instructor has in mind of how it has to be.
Every voice deserves to be treasured. What more can one say about the matter? Singing, like everything, has become about performance, about needing to push the boundaries to create a sound that is not ordinarily ours. Years of training go into developing the voices we say we admire and then use as a litmus test for our own self worth.
So deeply beautiful to feel your return to expressing, your heart and Soul as you did as a young girl, through singing. As in truth it is never about perfection but more so about surrendering to the connection to ourselves, our essence, our Soul and allowing ourselves to be moved by the quality of Love. The sound that then follows is in tune with and resounds the quality of Love through our bodies, and this is a joy to feel and experience in every way and a blessing for all who are truly listening.
So beautiful to read what you share here Rachel, it is about letting ourselves be heard, in the voice we innately have. That reflects the truth of who we are. Thinking that something about us is not right, is awful to experience, it is discounting that what we know we are inside, which is a glorious person. Here to express our love.
It is crucial that we take note of the messages that we deliver to our children as Janina writes. Children feel everything, it has been proven that an enormous percentage of what is presented in primary schools is not able to be understood totally dependent upon the teacher’s tone of voice, and when we combine the dysfunctional tones and repression that is in most people’s voices with messages that shut down the expression, we are setting these young people up for a lifetime of lock down.
There’s such a huge difference between expressing from our essence with our whole body versus attaching to an idea of how we think we should or shouldn’t sound and trying to shape our expression into that… Having ideals about how we think we should appear can be a killer to our natural expression but being more aware of our body gives us a marker of what really feels true for us.
How forceful those early childhood experiences are and how we can let them crush us for ages! For some it is singing, for others their physical dexterity or scholarly achievements, the list is endless. Those judgments actually behave like veritable curses and mostly, we know no better than to take them on.
This is wonderful to read of course… People loving and discovering their true voices is always great to hear… Just a note… Perfect pitch is actually quite a rare phenomena… It is the ability to be able to sing say a middle C without the reference of a piano or any other note… As I said it’s quite rare … I certainly don’t have perfect pitch… But I, and many many people, can of course sing in tune … Which is totally different ☺
I am fascinated by the fact that we can live with these hurts for so long into our adulthood and live with the inner pain they bring, a pain we often do not feel or see in our life. Does this not highlight the underlying reason for our seeking of comfort in life – a comfort that cushions the hurts we hide.
We don’t naturally hide, there is always a cause and effect to the original moment where we saw it necessary to do so.
I find the title to be beautiful. Referring to something of you as something that is natural to you (e.g., my natural voice) is different compared to leaving the ‘natural’ word aside. How many of our natural things do we hide? Are we even aware of it?
This was a pleasure to read Rachel and made me smile to imagine not only the joy you feel to no longer hold yourself back and share your voice like you now do… but also the joy that others will feel through your voice, reminding them that life can be lived embracing and expressing that feeling no matter where you are.
It’s gorgeous to feel the joy in you Rachel in you having found your natural voice again.
I love this Rachel – and how you became bigger than your hurt of what was ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in terms of singing. When we bring singing back to expression not skill, we can let go of all the ideals and beliefs around what it should be and truly sing from our hearts.
Simply another form of expression, singing is there for all of us to enjoy, and to feel again that there is no separation that we really are one voice, and that we can all rise together and sing the song of our one heart.
Rachel, absolutely smashingly great to hear you breaking that old held thing of music having to sound in a specific way judged by those that judge without knowing that tunes has to carry joy and lightness, not just a perfect so called pitch.
A very inspiring read Rachel, I have always heard Chris James say everyone can sing and has a beautiful voice when we can connect to it and it sounds like you really have managed to both connect to your voice and it comes out beautifully.
The natural expression of our voices has a beautiful rich and warm quality too which I really love listening too and enjoy feeling in my body when I sing too. It’s like a full body experience.
Rachel, your last line – “And whilst I may not have perfect pitch, I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face”, brought joy to my heart and put a smile on my face. Congratulations for reclaiming back your expression – the world is a much better place for it.
What is great to note is that there is pure beauty in everyone’s voice when we are connected to ourselves. No need for perfection or perfect pitch just pure and simple truth expressed from who we are. Awesome.
Thanks Rachel for an inspiring sharing. We all seem to get so many knocks in this world for just being ourselves, especially when we are small and we just naturally let ourselves sing because we feel like it, or some other natural way of being that brings criticism. Glad to know you now enjoy singing and just being you.
It is quite sad to hear so many of us can grow up hiding our true voice because of judgements from others. It has been very empowering for me to let go of these old hurts that held me back from singing freely, I feel the more we embrace this the more we support others to also sing and express more freely.
There can be so many expectations around how we think we ‘should’ sound, when either singing or talking, that get in the way of us naturally and truly expressing ourselves. Chris James, Universal Medicine & Glorious music have all helped me to be more aware of the ways in which I have held my voice back and to let my voice go along with being more connected to my body and expressing from there which feels lovely 🙂
There is so much joy in singing that to suppress this expression harms us. Thanks to Chris James I am learning to have confidence not only in my singing voice but also in my speaking voice as I had learned to suppress both in the past.
I loved reading your blog Rachel particularly how you are now singing away to yourself just like you did when you were a little girl, then and now with nothing to stop you from your joyful expression.
The voice – how we sing and of course how we talk – is one route through which we reflect our natural, unique essence. It stands to reason that the more we allow our natural expression to emerge and manifest, losing any self-worth issues along the way, the more our voices are able to express freely and authentically and our inhibitions can take a back seat.
I offer singing in a clinic and often patient come and ask if they can come even they don’t know how to sing. Than i answer that patients who can’t sing are my favorite ones. We are all able to sing beautifully once we get out of the way what stands in the way and give ourselves the permission to express freely.
Extremely simple. Why the difference between spoken words being acceptable but singing judged? They are both sounds we like to make.
I agree Dean, the pressure and stigma around singing is huge
It is huge Rebecca, and that’s on top of the fact that many of us struggle to express our feelings at a conversation level let alone in song.
Haha, well said – and when it comes to songs so many are totally chocked up on emotion and being recognised that actual expression is pretty much lost. But as you say many people struggle to express themselves in the ordinary way, even just talking, this itself is a huge shame, for I see so much love left unsaid .
Oh yes, how true, many songs are literally chocked up and choked up with emotions. The real feelings don’t stand a chance of coming though thanks to that barrage of emotions. I find that songs like that actually drown my feelings. The problem is they have become so acceptable, so mainstream simply because we have lost touch with who we really are on the inside. We don’t always appreciate just how much rubbish tries to come in through our ears!
Absolutely – i can be feeling totally fine, but the moment a really emotional song comes on i can feel sad, or angry or just sort of depressed because music can have that effect, which most people will acknowledge, even like but not see that its effecting our state of being in a negative way.
Music has a lot more to answer for than many realise. It is a huge impact on our bodies and whilst we may like the catchy tune we hear with the nice lyrics, the reality is that we can be heavily influenced by the energy that comes with that music. For example, the alcoholic rock star who is severely addicted to drugs, with a deeply lonely life but singing a sweet sounding song about love. That’s no better than a lung specialist smoking 3 packs a day!
Well said Dean, Music is one of the topics as yet exposed, because it is so important for so many people – how can you feel what you’re feeling when you’re drawing in the emotions in the music? So many are willing to admit to a point that somehow music takes the edge of life and how you feel, and I can see it becoming increasingly drug like in its addiction.
I agree Rebecca “singing is a really simple thing, just as talking is, it is an expression of something – joy or love etc, and it shouldn’t be made so hard to accept and do.” It is very natural for us all to sing.
I agree Brendan it is amazing to sing from our whole body, such a different experience.
Hi Janina , yes it’s true the effect of this holding back permeates our whole life,… the voice is a microcosm of our life and when we stop holding back in something like singing it cannot help but spread to the rest of our lives.
So beautiful you are now celebrating your natural voice Rachel. (with no more hiding) It is such a joy to listen and feel the resonance and purity of voices in a group as, they all blend as one together in such amazing harmony.
I love that your singing brings a smile to your face and a joy to your heart. That is quite the way it should be.
Hi Annelies… its good to understand that what most of us think ‘perfect pitch’ is, is a furphy …:-) ( an unsubstantiated rumour that people eventually think is true.) Perfect pitch is very rare… its the ability to sing a note, say middle C , without a reference tone… I don’t have it… I can guess ‘around about’ , but i DO sing in tune, and so do you, ( I have heard you …! 🙂 in fact, given the right setting we can all sing in tune… and that simply sounds wonderful …:-)
Thank you Chris for the explanation of a furphy, I had no idea 🙂 I love singing with you, just singing together and nothing else is needed, it simply sounds wonderful and it simply is wonderful.
How lovely to read yet another unfolding and reconnecting to that fundamental truth that we are all born with beautiful voices, and to share the joy that this re-discovery brings.
As Chris James always says ‘we are all born with a beautiful voice’. The difference is when we have a connection with ourselves the sound when we sing is amazing and even more so when we are in a group of people who are all truly connected too.
Yes I’m with Brendan celebrate all the way. I can feel, hear and picture you singing with your true, natural and divine voice Rachel; what a joy!
Awesome… I wait with gentle breath 🙂
One day Jenny Ellis you will! May it be sooner rather than later!
I have have appreciated and enjoyed and expressed when on a Chris James workshop and also at Universal medicine events. When I had a go at singing, a thin wisp, would come out, now I sing right from my heart, I can feel it ripple and resonate within my chest and body. It feels incredibly supporting, healing and confirming. A joy, I say a big thanks to those that have supported this development. We all can sing, I feel this to be a true.
There is an innocence and a freedom in letting ourselves express what is there to be expressed, be it through singing, speaking, moving etc. When we are allowed to express in full honestly, our whole body gets to relax and surrender. The issues crop up when we hold back our expression, like a bottle of fizzy water that has been shaken and is bursting to come out yet held in. It is like a pressure build up in the body, a tension that is quasi palpable. And when we can feel the judgment or criticism or even the jealousy of another or others, then we can be influenced even more so to hold back our natural expression. Unfortunately by holding back our expression, we damage ourselves in the process, we don’t allow the delicateness of who we are to be let out in full, and we also don’t inspire another to express similarly. Thank you Rachel for your simple and honest blog, one that shares how it was for you and the joy of allowing yourself the freedom and joy to return to that natural way of being that you had a a child.
Yes Henrietta, it really is not understood the harm that we are doing to ourselves when we hold back our expression… if people just knew and understood this there would be much more understanding of the human dilemma, and a lovely path of return to freedom and joy would be experienced.
Spot on cjames – we do harm ourselves by holding back our expression. Imagine if just for one day we did not hold back on what we had to say – and I don’t mean here that we would have a licence to say nasty things or abuse someone – I mean that you were really allowed to freely express to all those around you what you felt…now this would be a world changer and would expose the falseness we all tend to live in, but also share with others some amazing and beautiful things. The funny thing is that this holding back is not what we all do in society, but there is no real rule to say we have to do this – it has become an ingrained thing for us, a self imposed rule that we buy into and live by. So it becomes a matter of breaking the very rule we made to restrain ourselves and live a life of half truths. In breaking that rule we take a deep breath and know that the expression is let loose and comes hand in hand with honesty. Now this is true freedom.
This is soon typical, something that brings us joy and that comes so naturally in us gets censored by society and we change our whole relationship with it to the point of becoming something that makes you uncomfortable. How this can be? Bringing it back takes a whole body decision that brings an explosion of joy to our hearts.
What a beautiful expression Eduardo… a whole body decision that brings an explosion of joy to our hearts… this is so what it is like, and how it feels.
Oh Rachel I would love to sing with you because it is such a great joy to sing and to sing with others increases for me this joy! It is such a powerful and freeing experience to claim our voice back as I too hold it back. I love the work Chris James is doing – he helped me to discover as well that everyone has naturally beautiful voice – So Thank you Chris – the last bit I sang out loud – yeah!
Beautifully said Golnaz. The work of Chris James, Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and more has returned us to what singing and making music can truly be. And it excludes no-one.
Oh my goodness Rachel Hall, if I had a penny for every time I have heard such torturous stories from people’s childhoods around what happened with school choirs… I know of many people who were literally told that they could only stay in the choir if they ‘moved their mouth and nothing came out’. Some stayed, in this brutal shutting down and denial of expression, and they stayed for years… with not a note sung out loud. Working with these people later in life, these were often ‘stand out’ voices, that did not suit the falsity of a homogenised ‘children’s choir’ sound that was being sought – horrendous…
To sing with the true and absolutely joyful quality you describe Rachel is our birthright. What has been imposed upon our natural musical expression within our societies is absolutely inexcusable, and as you’ve shared, it can impact upon and impede someone’s expression in all ways for a lifetime and more.
Well kids don’t hold back on singing and playing, why should we?
Yes Dean why should we? It happened recently twice i was standing at at traffic light waiting to cross the street and i started to sing and i felt this was so natural to do. And there where people around me. It is great when we stop holding back our natural expression.
It’s such a lovely thing to break out into song when you are least expecting it. Like leaves blowing in the wind it is a perfectly natural thing occurrence. Why on earth would we judge it… such beauty and spontaneity.
There is nothing like sharing our sound, our voice from our heart , People feel it and love it and it inspires them to do the same.
That’s lovely Jenny, and it is true that all we have to do is live it and it inspires those around us.
I wonder how many children have been crushed by trying out for the school choir. Because I had the exact same experience when I tried out for the school choir.
My love for music couldn’t be quelled, so instead I decided to play instrumental music. I didn’t stop with one instrument but played a instrument from every family i.e. brass, woodwind, strings, percussion. I also played in every band in primary and high school. Instead I now know I don’t need the medium of a musical instrument to express myself but rather use it as a complement to my already, ready made expression.
I would have to say countless Luke … I have for decades heard these stories… and I thought that they would abate as the generations change, but the stories go on, and so many people come out of school not singing.
However, thank God, it can be reversed. With true inspiration and support and can allow to trust once more ❤
Totally relate Rachel.. My voice deepened at the young age of 12 or 13 and I found myself holding back speaking in the school class room.. let alone singing. I held back speaking in class so much that when I did it was more like a mumble which of course made things worse. Attending some of Chris James’s events in recent years has helped immensely and now I love singing along to many tracks by Chris or Glorious Music especially Michael Benhayon’s “Be You And Live Your Way” on the Heaven’s Stairway Album. I love the way the deep tone of my voice seems to resinate and harmonise with Michael’s beautiful voice.
This is true, there is a lot of pressure and questioning goes on around singing- whether it is good or bad and when we are given an opinion by another it can not only affect our wanting to then sing or not but also our ways of expression.
Your blog highlights the responsibility we have especially around children as something as small as being asked to perform in the way you did said with the slightest judgement or imposition has prompted a life or behaviours and patterns of avoiding and not embracing your natural voice. And that was only one incident!
Hi Joshua… this is a very good point, the effect that we can have on humanities children right now is profound, and every little interaction counts.
Well said Chris. We have the opportunity now to give back to our next generation the foundation of a world we would actually want to be in and to reimprint the ills that have long been held by us in our past eras
In the last years of her life (she was in her nineties) singing was the one thing that my mum could still really enjoy, whether alone or in the company of others. She was already blind and had dementia but she could remember the words of a lot of songs and loved to hum or sing melodies even if she didn’t have the words. Singing can bring a breath of fresh air to our homes, a hospital ward or a hard work situation.
What a joy it is that you now love singing, in groups; at the supermarket, work home etc.
How sad it is that, for some of us, our natural voice and expression is not valued and appreciated in our schools. It is my fervent hope that, in the not to distant future, teachers will stop, listen and encourage all students natural voices and expression.
Reading your blog Rachel is such a reminder how the way a comment is delivered can have quite an impact, especially that it affects a child into their adult years. It is so awesome you have reconnected to the exquisiteness of your voice in song, as there is no doubt, this quality of connection rediscovered, the richness, the joy and love, would naturally be conveyed in your everyday general speech, and equally be felt.
Our voices are to be heard, thank you for sharing your experiences and how you learned that expression trough our voice is joyful, and a true celebration of who we are.
It was not that long ago that I realised my laugh had completely disappeared, it was as if i had sucked it inside, indeed my own choice to suffocate my expression, hold back and stay unseen.
Wow Rachel I could so relate to your story. When I was a very young girl I would sing and perform and have fun, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a singer ! When I was
aged 12 or 13yrs I auditioned for the school choir and they rejected me. Through my work with Universal Medicine I have realised that this set up a pattern whereby I would not speak up. I am still learning to express myself fully. I have been inspired by Universal Medicine, my singing buddies, friends, Chris James, and Victoria Carter to start singing. again. For me singing is sure JOY. Thank you for sharing.
You inspire me to sing Rachael and appreciate the uniqueness that comes with the voice I was given to express with this time round. Thank you.
We are very susceptible to the opinions of others, especially if they are delivered with harshness and in exclusion, when we are growing up. I did the same with sport and catching balls, because I wasn’t very much in my body as a child. I remember my Dad being very patient with me but what he didn’t pick was that I had developed an anxiety around it from the laughter of others which needed to be addressed before I could catch or hit the ball. It was the same with art, I abandoned it very early on because I felt I couldn’t do it and the teacher just let me go. It highlights to me the importance of supporting our children in their natural expression and also working with perfectionist tendencies, showing them the importance of what really matters – how it feels to express, how connected they feel in their body, NOT how ‘good’ the outcome is.
Hi Caroline I did exactly the same, played the piano as a child but because so resentful of the endless practice and exams and playing music that I didn’t have any connection to. Recently my 7yo daughter had some lessons and I reminded myself of the basics and then found some old music I used to play and managed to play it! It’s all still in there. I would like to nurture this skill once again, with love and joy and play music that makes my heart sing, just to express and not to achieve something.
Emmadanchin’s comment brought tears to my eyes. To play music simply to enjoy I have rarely done in my life and although I can feel my body tense up every time I think about playing the piano I am inspired to go to a musical evening in a couple of weeks time with my daughter at her school to enquire about piano lessons which she has been recently talking about. Thank you.
I meant to say that I walked away from it altogether because of the resentment I felt towards the lack of joy and connection and the pressure of an end result. It is so awesome Caroline to feel free to let this go and re-imprint our expression of music as an adult, just as something to enjoy and share with others. I also walked away from art, learning a language and eventually academic study and I feel it is very healing to let go of my childhood experiences and all the perfectionism and re-engage with these areas of life as they present to me now with a lightness of being and purpose of what they can bring.
It’s so horrible, those one sentence throw away lines that leave a person, and in this case a young girl, feeling crushed. Who cares if a young one has a deep voice, the essence of singing should be equal and free for all. Not boxed up like this for recognition and approval from ‘outside’ sources, if this was indeed what this singing group was about.
I agree Natasha, I see comparison as the root of much evil in life. When one voice is compared with another the focus becomes about person preference and not appreciation for the unique quality that is expressed. Comparison is what crushes and leads us to not feel enough.
So appreciation seems to be the antidote to comparison ~ approbation of all that we personally are and not comparing ourself to another .
Yes I agree, comparison is the root of much evil in life and ‘appreciation seems to be the antidote to comparison’.
I am more and more experiencing the huge blessing when people are indeed communicating from connection with their heart and body. That feels like an energetic shower, full of warmth and feeling held and blessed. When I personally express when connected, I can feel the expansion in my chest through the resonance all through my body. It’s like a confirmation with every word I express.
Yes, Shirley-Ann, great to read of Rachel’s opening up again and embracing her naturally beautiful voice to the point of performing in a choir, such a huge step in reclaiming her expression, and truly inspiring to others like myself who haven’t got there yet.
When we get judged so harshly about the sound of our natural voice, it is like we are being told to not open our mouth, to not speak up, to not let the world hear us just as we are.
Agree Simone, being judged harshly about the sound of our natural voice, especially when young has far reaching consequences which are more extensive than just refraining from singing. It can affect the way a person either expresses or holds back in all aspects of life.
I totally agree Anne, the consequences are often far reaching, affecting a person’s sense of themselves in all areas of their life. Harsh judgement when one is young can be totally crushing.
Thats true Anne, and there’s so much that can be heard in the sound of someone’s voice. It is a perhaps a very underrated instrument.
So true Simone. I love being around you when I sing because I feel no judgement. What I do feel is love and support.
Thank you jaderiver56. I appreciate singing with you for all the joy and openness I hear in your voice. It feels like when I hear it, it gives me permission to just be myself and enjoy being me. The “ripple effect” of not judging is huge!
I love the way that Chris James encourages us to sing and focus on the feeling in our bodies rather than on how it sounds. It is the ultimate way of learning how to keep our attention in the moment and on our quality rather than on the end result. And very often this results in the end result sounding amazing!
Yes Aminatumi, I can relate to the situation, I also hold back singing out loud in a public place… immediately the thought comes, ‘they will think I am crazy’. However if others do that at times, in a genuine joyful, then everybody actually enjoys it and starts to smile.
Hey Fransisco, I wonder if your voice does have flaws or if you just think it might. If you sang whole-heartedly I would hear the great love that you are.
Absolutely Sandra. A true voice comes from the truth of one’s being, and from a lifetime (perhaps more… 🙂 ) of experience, it is always amazing and beautiful. The key is to not hold it back.
The sensitivity we hold as a child (and also as adults) is strong – so when we are told to stand with the boys and sing, we can pick up the way it is being said, and we can pick up if it is being said in a way that says ‘wow – with your voice you hold the power to lead the boys’ or if it is said as ‘your voice is so powerful that I don’t know what to do with it so I will put you over there where I won’t be able to hear it as much’… Our voice is part of our expression and some people will react to this strongly as it can trigger things deep within and ‘shake up’ what we know or think to be true for ourselves. It is when we ‘let loose’ and let ourselves and all the love that we are out for all to see, that we have the power to heal and also the power to shake up another in order for them to heal as well. Great to hear that you have re-discovered your voice again Rachel! Shake em up and bring it out!
Agreed in full Henrietta. I have met many women in their adult years who feel there is something ‘wrong’ with having a low voice, or indeed the lower register of their singing voice – they freak out, thinking they ‘sound like a man’… when the richness of a low female voice need have nothing ‘manlike’ about it at all. We can discover the richness of the woman here, deeply embodied and amazingly so.
The judgement Rachel received was insidious – it rejected her expression from a female body as not being ‘what it should be’, when it was absolutely natural. Utter discrimination and absolute abuse.
The concept of a natural voice is groundbreaking in itself because we all have one every single person. I have been amazed to see over the years how people’s singing voices change as they learn to speak from their authority of lived experiences.
This is gorgeous Rachel – I’ve had that experience before, I love to sing and although I used to do choir when I was younger, I had this belief that people thought I was a bad singer and so didn’t do it, like you said, unless the music was so loud that even I couldn’t hear how I sounded. I’ve gotten back into it more – I now love singing, still when nobody’s around, but I like the sound of my voice 🙂
I also have come back to enjoying singing – I like my voice and that’s what’s most important – and that is what we should instil in our children, the understanding that if they love themselves, that is the most important thing.
This is so integrally important Rebecca. Working with singing, children and all ages all the time, it’s all about love and acceptance of ourselves. It’s amazing to see very, very young children who are already needing to tick so many boxes before they deem it worthy to ‘sing out loud’, and then others who don’t hold back – loving every note and backing themselves all the way (no matter whether the ‘boxes are ticked’ or not). The opportunity is always there to support true love for self or not, but my, how strongly our culture only endorses validity in our singing at all, when we meet whatever has been deemed to be ‘good’.
How deeply crushing of natural expression, and also in regards to singing in particular, all that it can offer us in so many areas of our lives.
I agree – singing is a very intense subject or talent – I have had experiences where I’ll just be quietly singing to myself, and someone will come up to me and tell me I can’t sing – completely unnecessarily and it’s quite crushing to experience. Imagine having that in any area of life as a child, with no upbringing to support you to do what ever you feel to.
It’s an horrendous culture we’ve allowed – agreed Rebecca.
I grew up around highly trained and experienced singers. For most of my upbringing, should I even open my mouth to sing in the shower, it was judged and assessed (so I didn’t very often…). It did all seem way to ‘intense’ as you say, to go there and sing, let alone work on developing my singing voice myself! And so I stuck to playing instruments until adulthood, when something kicked in and said ‘you’ve got to do this’.
It was pure torture – for a long, long time… and not easy to get my voice out at all. But somehow I stayed with it. Much opened up.
Yet it’s only been through singing and writing music that is true – music that confirms who we are, rather than feeds our emotional states and need for fame/recognition and the rest – that I’m feeling true freedom and absolute joy in singing. And the deepest experience of singing from every cell in my body and being. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and his teachings and enormous support in this regard on the energetic truth of all things…
All that has been ‘crushed’ in us through judgement of others is pure poppycock. Singing, as with everything, is in its truth about expressing from the truth of our being – and that is what we must ultimately be ‘discerning’ in any voice, far and way beyond whether certain outwardly deemed standards or boxes are ticked.
Very well said – what others think shouldn’t be our worth’s defining factor
Lovely aminatumi! Imagine you singing loud in your workplace make me smile. I remember something like this scenario from films where people do so and reap some surprised glances. As a viewer/receiver of a surprising expression like someone singing out loud in the tube or where ever, I get a shaken up. It is connecting people, saying (singing ; ) ) ‘Hey! We are all connected and alive! Lets celebrate.’ I love it!!!! Go for it aminatumi (and everyone) and sing again.
Thank you Rachel, you described so well the experience of returning back to appreciate and discover our natural and powerful voice, also how it is to participate in one of Chris James events, and what Universal Medicine helps us understand, heal and evolve. It amazes me how much judgement can affect us for life and in general how much we hold back many of our natural expressions for fear of more judgement or rejection, it keeps in an alienation for a very long time…until one day we get the pull and we realize it is about our quality and not shapes, pitches, codes, set standards, and so on…
I love this: “….expressing from your body rather than attaching to how it sounds.”
When we all lift our voices in the joy of a song we become one voice; this is brotherhood
Even though I have issues with my voice through damage to my larynx I still feel the joy and oneness of singing in a group, and I agree kathleenbaldwin, this is brotherhood.
Thats exactly right Kathleen, and this is what humanity hungers for… and when a group sings together, with no competition or comparison , with everyone feeling safe enough to explore their own natural voice, then many comment and feel that wonderful sense of oneness.
It really is quite monstrous how many people are silenced by the condemnation and censure of others who are expecting all voices to be of the mould that is considered desirable at any one time – a mould which is fickle in its constant change and expectation, and its demand for an ideal perfection.
That is very true coleen24. While there are some people who are ‘naturals’ and pick up singing or instruments easily, most people must learn to play or sing well. What we are shown over and over again are the protagonists in movies and television who are instantly skilled or become skilled in a 3-minute montage. This has done nothing but fuel that demand for instant perfection and gratification you speak of.
Shirley-Ann I was a child whose expression was shutdown at an early age, and it is only now in my early 60’s that I am expressing more freely the truth of what I feel, and tentatively allowing myself to explore my singing voice. I have always loved to sing but like Rachel was told very bluntly that I couldn’t, and should find something else I could do. I love how the little girl was allowed to develop in her own time, something that every child should be allowed to do in all areas of their lives.
Yes … and this is the thing … if children are allowed to find their voices, over time… they will come into tune… really … we all born with beautiful voices!
“a voice that comes from connecting to yourself and feeling the sound develop, and expressing from your body rather than attaching to how it sounds.” That’s the quality of our true voice – our voice expresses our quality and how we feel inside, rather than the voice that is attached to an ideal of what a voice should sound like in order to meet externally derived criteria.
Thank God you have got your song back Rachel, we all need to claim our song back as it is us sounding our joy just like a song bird does; when the joy is lived the song is there.
How beautiful kathleenbaldwin! A bird seems so free to me when I hear them sing.
Yes Suzanne and they don’t compare themselves with other birds or worry if they’re singing is good enough – they just sing from their bodies without any monitoring from the mind.
A lovely reminder kathleenbaldwin, the sound of the little birds that sing in the morning are so full of joy, they are gorgeous.
Kathleen, thank you for this lovely reminder, “when the joy is lived the song is there”. Such a simple statement, but profound in meaning. A song coming from true joy is ‘heaven’ to the ears and body.
So true, in joy I naturally find myself humming or singing, sometimes even without realizing… my colleagues at work at times comment on it, ‘you are in a good mood, humming all the time’.
Very beautiful Kathleen, singing from the joy of our heart.
Indeed, kathleenbaldwin! We all have a song within us, that is there for us to claim as our expression of who we are.
I agreed Hanna the most beautiful song in the world is the song of us being ourselves as nothing resonates quite as pure and clear as that.
I love that Kathleen “…the most beautiful song in the world is the song of us being ourselves as nothing resonates quite as pure and clear as that”.
So do I Vicky, It makes me smile with the appreciation of the utter joy of it. It is something I use to do with my children when they were young. We would joke about how it would turn into a musical. One of my daughters breaks into song sometimes when her kids have gone a bit off track. It brings them back to themselves as they naturally want join in on the joy. Another would sing unconsciously exactly what she was feeling. She could never hide a thing!
We get so crushed as young children in school, that leaves us with long lasting wounds that we carry for the rest of our lives. I think we all have similar stories of being held back for our natural talents. Glad you have it back now Rachel. I’m looking forward to hearing you.
And you’ve certainly put a smile on my face, Rachel. Singing’s not about how in tune you are or if you sound good, it’s about feeling joy from within and expressing that out. That’s why so many children sing, not because they sound good, but because it’s natural for them to express their joy. Of course some people are more in tune than others and they’re lovely to listen to, but if we only sing because we’re in tune then the world’s going to miss out on a lot of that joy.
Absolutely Hannah, singing is such a great example for me of how I still hold onto perfectionism, ideals of how to sound, and therefore feeling not good enough because I don’t meet the unattainable perfectionism. Someone recently asked me to sing to them in the car and my response was “no way”, in this moment I realised how I still have a low appreciation or confidence in myself to be able to sing and also left me to ponder in what other ways in my life am I holding back because I perceive I don’t match up to “perfect.”
I felt quite joyous myself reading this again Rachel. To me what’s important is that people feel confirmed in their ability to simply express and sing and how joyful that feels, not in hitting the right note or sounding a certain way.
Great point Raymond Karam – “we need to bring more awareness to how we treat our children and each other”. When we are careless with our thoughts, words and actions, we cause so much unnecessary harm to those around us – and to ourselves.
Thank you Hannah Flanagan and we are on the same page. This is one group of people I have seen that are ‘standing tall’ as we say, http://www.unimedliving.com/the-student-body.
Thanks for the link Raymond Karam, looks like the world is well on the way to being a very different place – awesome to see not one but many people making the choice to “stand tall”.
To express all of who you are through singing is so liberating and freeing. I love your blog Rachel and can feel the profoundness of discovering the beauty of your own voice. I too would not dare to sing in public on my own for years and years, although I did love to sing and was in lots of choirs when I was younger. Having worked with Chris James I have discovered the true depth and quality of my own voice, and with that has come a confidence and inner strength enabling me to sing alone and to enjoy doing it in way I never imagined possible. By being able to do that I am learning to deeply appreciate and value myself and what I bring, plus the responsiblity that I have to share that with others.
Thank you for confirming that Hannah Flanagan and while we may make light of this it is important to note the fact of what you are actually saying, “the fact that she felt so supported that she could let go of something she had been holding onto for most of her life – all within the first hour of a workshop! ” That is not only ‘super impressive’ but also as we are saying life changing, a couple of hours with Chris James and you will feel clearer.
Thank you Hannah Flanagan, the ongoing responsibility of how you live. So what you are saying is that while people like Chris James and Serge Benhayon can clear you, what you do after that can either continue with that clarity or put yourself back into murkiness. This confirms the ‘choice’ and the fact that no one can truly do anything for us, they can support us but in the end the choice is always ours.
I come from a family that declares itself to not be musical, none of us ever sang or played any instruments and singing was never on the agenda. I too have discovered that I love singing through singing along at Universal Medicine events. I absolutely love singing to the Glorious Music and Next X bands. I have also discovered that I have the most amazing singing voice in the bathroom and am able to come up with super awesome made up songs – but so far they have all stayed in the bathroom. Rachel maybe you can come over to my bathroom one day and we can have a concert or perhaps I will venture out.
Venture out Nicola Lessing, yes venture out 🙂
Thank you Rachel, your writing is always music to my ears and I would love to hear you sing too!
I had few goes as a child to sing in group in school, I had a real yearning to sing together. There was a competitive edge to it as that at that stage that I reacted to and did not have much confidence and so ended up keeping quiet and not wanting to standout or express myself. I have attended a couple Chris Jame’s workshops and they have felt so supportive and inclusive. They are awesome and I would recommend them highly. It is liberating to explore our true voices and to learn to express from them.
I had a very similar experience Rachel, I remember l loved singing as a young child but by the second half of primary school I had had disappointments at not making the choir and always ended up playing the recorder which felt like rejection. However, by secondary school I was so self conscious I had pretty much stopped singing unless it was in a jokey way to avoid judgment. Chris James helped me open up my voice again, and a whole load of joy and confidence with it.
Simply beautiful Hannah and what a wonderful gift for your Mum as well as those around her to receive the glory of her expressing more of who she truly is.
Yes deborahmckay, allowing yourself to truly express is the best gift ever – for yourself and all around you 🙂
I love this expression Rachel. Taking what was natural to you that you then suppressed due to the impositions of the world and then reclaiming it. This is inspiring. We don’t all have to be pitch perfect to be able to express through singing.
I was able to connect more deeply more tenderly and more lovingly through the shared joy of a simple song than any amount of conversation or physical assistance.
Barbara, I see this in singing with people who are in Aged Care also. Facilitating a singing group at my local aged care facility, the level of engagement can be deeply beautiful and amazing – often from people who are, moments before, very out of it and struggling to be cognisant. Singing is an amazing way to come back to ourselves, reconnect with our bodies and enjoy connecting with each other, often traversing other seemingly blocked pathways in expression where one would ‘think’ it’s not possible.
Rachael I too sing whenever I feel like it these days, often at work. Also like you, I find it’s a joy-full expression I just can’t contain, I have to let it out. I work in an Aged Care facility and while I was escorting one of the less animated residents down to lunch in her wheelchair recently I asked her if there was a song she might like to sing. Almost straight away and without hesitation she named a song and we began singing, as we did she came alive, remembering all the words and singing in full voice from her heart. We shared our joy of singing all the way to the dining room, at which point we were both beaming.
It is such a tragedy that so many people hide their voice from the world for fear of being judged as not being good enough. We were not designed to sing like a bird, the proof of which is found in the countless hours of hardship and practice it takes to do so. Allow the natural voice to come through and be heard for all its flaws. It has a resonance of its own accord that speaks more of our divinity than the sweetest of birds.
I’ll sing to that!
Yes so true Adam, the ridiculousness of making a man sing like a bird made me laugh when you put it like that.
Hilarious Adam Warburton – yet deeply exposing at the same time… Having spent countless hours training my voice to jump all sorts of ridiculous hoops (and being well aware of the training and fields of singing in which this goes far further than anything I ever partook in), I will vouch for your statement here completely and the fact that singing can indeed by very natural and simple. In its most potent expression, it comes from our very core – the deepest bodily commitment to expressing forth all that we are, no hindrance, no holding back, no ‘ticking boxes’ – an experience of the purest and most profound joy there is.
And thank God for Serge Benhayon and his teachings and revelations on the truth of music, that more and more of us are now able to access this – and shed the ridiculousness of the kind of impositions that Rachel Hall experienced.
Joy of singing and connecting to our natural voice is beautiful to feel . Thank you Rachel for your beautiful sharing of your experiences which so many can relate to and change for themselves. The true honouring of ourselves from being a small child for who we are and to be treasured and held is something that really needs to be addressed as so many of us walk around with these imposed ideals and beliefs and have been crushed as children of our natural expression joy and playfulness. Let’s all begin to celebrate our natural expression, voice and joy and an honouring of all our children also.
Awesome Rachel – why is it that as children something that was encouraged can be so easily crushed the moment you step into the ‘real’ world? I had a very similar experience with both English and art. As a child I loved to draw, to paint and to write little stories and rhymes, but when I got to school, I found there was no room for the way I wrote – my spelling wasn’t great and that became the whole focus, my stories and descriptive writing totally ignored in favour of spell checking and so I gave up on creative writing, believing I wasn’t able to because of my spelling. And in art class, I wasn’t amazing in a class full of very talented children. The teacher focused on them, and everyone else could feel the divide in attention. Luckily, despite this when I got older I still chose to study art and had an amazing teacher who made me feel fully capable of doing what ever I wanted to do. Teacher and the school environment has a lot of an affect on a young child and the way they perceive themselves and what they can and can’t do. When a teacher nurtures a child’s abilities, there is no knowing what they can accomplish, because there is nothing in their way.
It just goes to show that when we tell ourselves that we are useless at certain things that this is a complete illusion. We simply lack confidence.The key to great learning lies in our relationships and to be lovingly accepted for who we are. This is not the fundamental principle that is applied in schools but it should be!
Well said, and deeply inspiring michelle819 and Rebecca. I see the same in teaching music privately (outside of the school system). Repeatedly, students are taken aback that I am not hammering them with criticism (for self-criticism is something that even the very young can be full of!). Yes we can support the understanding of technique, awareness of what’s going on in the body when we sing/play music, and develop musical understanding, ability and musicianship… but fundamentally it comes down to the connection with ‘you’.
A teacher who by their natural way holds no-one as less is a true teacher, and a blessing to the child or adult who comes under their care. And then the fun starts – for just who is learning from whom???
I love the ending here Victoria “And then the fun starts – for just who is learning from whom?” For me the joy in connecting with my students is stupendous as I get to learn just as much from them and about them as they get to learn from me. Teaching is undoubtedly a two way street and this is the joy of the profession.
It is an absolute Joy Michelle819, I couldn’t agree more. Actually, tears come to my eyes in celebrating this, and what a natural and amazing expression and experience it is to have in my life.
In Joy with you dear lady. How blessed are we? And, those we teach – equally so…
I remember once in my first teaching job saying to my headmaster how much I loved the students I was teaching. He looked at me a bit confused and said how could that be as I had different ones from the year before! He didn’t get that when you love people and let them in like I do there is a never ending of ocean of gorgeousness, inspiration, impressiveness, gentility, sensitivity, creativity, loveliness in each drop that makes up the ocean. It is a never ending supply of uniqueness to fall in love with making life rich in the variety that makes up each day. It is utterly impossible not to feel joy in meeting each person that makes up the whole. The highlight is in developing relationships with this. Supporting my students to express, feel claimed in who they are, realising their own brand of uniqueness and loving it just as much as I do is my job – I can’t honestly imagine doing another one!
So deeply inspiring Michelle. Please write a blog – no, many!
It’s great to hear, Rachel, that the joy you had singing as a child has come back to you now which shows that however much we try to hide something from the world that is true and brings us joy, it will always find a way out.
“however much we try to hide something from the world that is true and brings us joy, it will always find a way out.” I love this Tim. Truth will always eventually be seen, felt and expressed. That’s the power of love.
I agree Tim, and it shows that no matter how crushing a teacher’s words, or how unsupportive your childhood, there is a choice to come back to the joy and the natural confidence of a child.
We are all born with beautiful voices, free from the need to ‘perform’ or be pitch perfect. When we lose that connection we lose that simple joy of expressing who we are. Rachel it was beautiful and inspiring to read of your joyful experience in reclaiming your natural voice.
Rachel, I can so relate to what you have written here, ‘It had a delicate quality combined with a power and strength that was so exquisite it moved me to tears – tears of joy and relief for all that I had held back –being allowed to express again as I did so naturally when I was a little girl.’ This is gorgeous to read. I can feel how much I have held back my natural expression for so long and how very sad this is; there have been moments at Universal Medicine celebrations that I have sung with no holding back and have felt the power and beauty of my expression, this has felt amazing.
I’ve experienced this also rebeccawingrave, and when I haven’t held back my whole body is in it and there is so much joy from my head to my toes, but more than anything is the joy of just expressing from our innermost out to the world, our natural way of being
Beautiful, Rachel. There is something very pure and liberating in the way you are claiming the joy of singing in your life. Thank you for sharing this inspiration with us.
Your deep, rich, natural voice is certainly something to celebrate.
How lovely to hear you appreciating your natural, true expression and how gorgeous that you sing along when you feel to.
Thank you Rachel for this inspirational blog; I am inspired to sing when I feel to, no matter where when or who is listening!!
Rachel its great that you have reconnected to expressing in this way. I can identify with shutting down parts of myself and making a decision not to try certain things because of incidents that happened when I was a child. I can feel how joyful being able to sing now feels for you.
To express with our voices – This is so freeing and releasing of long held tension in my body. The joy of being in a group at workshops with Chris James has been such an inspiration and was certainly the start of a new found confidence and offering an opportunity to make other changes in my life. ‘Bringing joy to my heart’. Thank you Rachel for this beautiful sharing.
Rachel, how beautiful how you found back to your natural expression in singing and I can feel your joy in doing so. I can relate to the joy of singing and as you, I also gave it up but your experience inspires me to sing again.
When we hold back our expression everyone is missing out.
Something that is an ongoing learning and understanding Carmin, as I can see how much we can hold back on a daily basis.
So true Carmin. And when we hold back our expression we are also harming ourselves.
Totally Carmin, we miss out on so much joy.
Singing for me is very confirming of the delicateness I am – when I sing to confirm myself the sounds are gorgeous and resonate yet without perfection or scale worthy pitch. When I sing to copy or fit in or try to sound a certain way I wobble and end up feeling silly and less than the loveliness I am. Pretty cool that we all have a musical instrument on hand!
I agree Rachael, it is very cool that we all have a musical instrument at hand, just like the song birds we have our song that is unique to us and it is our responsibility to reclaim it as being our expression of us simply being ourselves.
That’s what it’s all about Rachel, singing for the love we feel in our bodies and not to fit a genre or scale. I have had many similar experiences of being told I can’t sing at school yet I have never lost my love for this way of expressing. Thank you for sharing your return to Joy.
There’s nothing quite like the fear of judgement of singing ‘badly’, but after this goes, there’s unequivocally a joy in singing unreservedly.
What a gorgeous blog Rachel. So many of us have held back our natural expression because of a judgemental statement that has been made towards us. I remember being at choir practice and being told not to sing if I couldn’t get the note right, after that I always sang very quietly, just in case I got it wrong. And like you have found that with Chris James and his ‘Sounds Wonderful Music’ and the ‘Glorious Music’ by Michael Benhayon has been wonderfully supportive in being able to sing without holding my voice back.
Wow andrewmooney26, I think you’re definitely on the money here in that a true definition of a beautiful voice ‘…is one that shares a quality of love and stillness and joy with another and inspires them to feel the same but also leaves them totally free to make the choice to feel that or not.’
Great questions Andrew. And I certainly agree – “Perhaps a beautiful voice is one that shares a quality of love and stillness and joy with another and inspires them to feel the same but also leaves them totally free to make the choice to feel that or not.”
Rachel your blog highlights the importance and responsibility we have as adults in the way that we raise children and how we express to them. I have heard countless stories of kids being affected by harsh comments from adults. Appreciations and encouragement of expression is what the world needs more of – not perfection or perfect pitch (whatever that may be).
In part I feel my tears are also a release and an acknowledgement that it’s been my choice to hold back, to not allow myself to fully express the love within me, to have stopped myself from feeling the enormous joy that I can feel has always been there, waiting to shine through. Feels so amazing to just let go.
I agree rosannabianchini, this blog has allowed for something more to make itself known. Expression comes in many forms but with the voice we can tend to hold back when there is so much love and truth to be spoken. Rachel’s Blog has inspired me to consider it may be time for a little more exploration around my voice also.
Kids are sensitive, just like us adults too – and yes there are things that we can say or in the way that we say them to the kids that can etch it into their memories forever unsupportively so. And so it reveals the responsibility we all hold in the way we communicate and express – not so much in the ‘what we say’ though of course this too does matter, but more so in the ‘way we say’.
Rachel has written it from her heart and her body – no different to how she lives and breathes every day. Amazingly inspiring woman indeed!
It’s beautiful to read and feel the return to you singing freely Rachel and appreciating the sound that comes when you do with appreciation of the quality it comes with. I’ve just read another blog where these words rang true for me…’self-criticism takes the joy out of living’…and so without any criticism, you’re able to enjoy your own voice.
So true Sandra ’self-criticism takes the joy out of living.’ Its something that we are all too good at. I am learning to replace it with self acceptance and appreciation.
When we are young and joyfully singing, the reactions we get from adults often come from jealousy. Its not so much we are ‘tone deaf’, ‘no pitch’ etc but the fact we are connected to ourselves and expressing our joy through our singing – there is a freedom of expression in this…and the adults around us then feel their lack of joy, true expression and connection to themselves, which brings out their reaction.
Not having ‘perfect pitch’ just means, Dr Rachel Hall, that you are sublimely unique in your expression, and if your heart and body loves your singing then that is all that matters 🙂 I am filled with joy that you have found your voice at last because I know what it is like to hold back, and when we do find our voice it feels so lovely.
Very true Matthew… Often kids; super confident and full of joy – can make others process and become jealous of the fact the children have no issue holding back, when they have lived their whole lives contracted or shut down. As you and Rachel say this can lead to parents or adults ‘crushing’ kids, as they do not want to be shown this reflection of joy that highlights just how empty they feel inside.
I really love Chris James philosophy on singing…’everyone is born with a beautiful voice’. When we work with our bodies and reconnect to our true voice it can surprise us – and often does. Everyone should experience the joy of singing in my view – and re-establish that wonderful freedom we have as children – as you have Rachel…The Singing Dentist!
I love that, Rachel the singing dentist! I definitely want a dentist who does not hold back her natural expression and is comfortable enough in her own skin to express the truth of who she is. That is inspiring.
“I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” Rachel, this line says it all. Thank you for sharing your journey with singing, it is similar to what many others have experienced, me included. Singing is such a natural way to express joy that one wonders why so many children are shut down one way or another rather than being encouraged to express by singing in whatever way feels natural for them at the time!
It’s amazing how childhood experiences can have long lasting affects on our behaviour. Thanks for sharing how you found your true voice.
It is so wonderful to hear you singing Floris. There is something with tender men singing – it opens my heart – so beautiful.
That is very beautiful Rachel, I can join in with this voice experience you have shared. As a child I loved to sing and even later I used singing and playing emotional songs with my guitar. I used singing and playing guitar to escape from my uncomfortable feeling within myself. Later after I met Serge Benhayon I noticed that the sadness I have felt with singing sad songs was from not allowing myself to live up to my way and my truth. I had lived a false life and was hiding very much from life. That deep sadness from missing myself was what I felt when I was singing. Now after many workshops with Chris James I do have an open and clear voice that is solid and celebrating from within. Even singing in front of people is something natural and I can enjoy, expressing and sharing the amazing feeling I have inside of me with everyone.
’ Now I find myself singing when I walk the dog, on my way to work, and even around the office and the supermarket, no different to when I was that young girl, all full of joy and expression that I simply had to let it out.’ Beautiful Rachel – what joy you bring to your surroundings!
‘We have been tricked from when we are young into closing down our expression, which is in fact the joy and love the whole of this world needs.’ Not only that, Amelia, we have colluded in that trickery as we continue to suppress our own natural expression with false limiting thoughts about what others may or may not think of us. How wonderful to sing with all of our selves, – I was going to say, ‘without a care in the world’, but perhaps ‘to sing with all the love that we’ are is a more true expression.
Waith all the ‘become a star’ programs singing has lost its; simple and innocent expression that you had as a child Rachel. It all has to sound a certain way and you can feel the push in the voices and the need for recognition and 15 minutes of fame. Singing to me is an extension of how I feel, and expression of my heart no matter who is listening or what i sound like. And yet when I am with others it does not come as fully an clearly as when I am with myself. A great marker of where I am still holding back all, and every way, my heart wants to express.
Like you Rachel, I was told I wasn’t much chop at singing as a child but thanks to Chris James and Glorious Music, I have discovered I have an amazing voice – I feel so connected to who I am when I sing and connect to a deep, deep part of me that feels so incredibly powerful.
Thank you for sharing Rachel. Your story echoes experiences many, in fact most people have, with shutting down their voice and expression in some way, myself included. And I have witnessed the absolute joy Chris James has in sharing his love of voice so naturally with many people, absolutely knowing that ‘Everyone is born with a beautiful voice’.
‘Everything is expression’ – and so singing feels like it has been around forever, as a form of expressing, sharing and celebrating. It feels so very natural and ancient; I love singing because it connects me to myself which feels so awesome; singing in a group encapsulates true brotherhood – a feeling of unity and deep love is connected to yet aware of my own unique expression within that – individual yet unified all at once.
Yes ginadunlop, I really do love singing in a group. It certainly is the case of the whole being worth more than the sum of the parts. That feeling of working together in harmony often brings tears to my eyes.
‘A profound and glorious marker of unity’ – this describes it beautifully Simone. And is what connects me to the immense love (for humanity) I feel when I sing in groups. It’s simply glorious.
“I have been inspired to sing again through the work of Chris James and Glorious Music and now see my deep, rich, natural voice as something to celebrate and not to hide. And whilst I may not have perfect pitch, I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” That’s beautiful Rachel a very inspiring story and good for you. For me yself singing is still something I am working on with a long way to go.
I’m with you on this one Hannah. I’m actually deaf in one ear, and maybe not even sure what pitch is…and yet the feeling of singing from my heart and presence is so full of grace and power – who cares if the pitch is ‘perfect’. Perfect shmerfect I say – let’s all just enjoy that gorgeous, unimposing, non pushed radiant resonant voice we all were born with and can reconnect to.
Ha Ha Kate Burns, perfect shmerfect indeed!!
Love it Kate, bring on the powerhouse that is you.
How totally heart warming is this Rachel, I Love it. I can totally relate to that first time after maybe lives of not singing in full, of allowing the reconnection and for the sound that is there to just flow. There were bits and bobs in the way to let go of first, like an interesting case of lock jaw, several bucket loads of tears, lips that trembled and would not shape or express…all of it stuff I’d piled on my expression to shut it down and essentially block out heaven. The moments I have been supported by Chris James’s workshops to let go more, it has felt very much like it is an angel singing through me with wings holding me to surrender into. I have even got pretty much comfortable hopping up on stage in our home town in front of much of the town, just letting it rip. This from a girl who struggled to talk loud enough to be worthy of being heard, or terrified of being harsh and so being very soft – it is nothing short of a miracle.
One of the moments that swung it for me – where I had to let it go – was in a workshop with Chris James when we paired up, or perhaps in fours, and sang unrestrained to and with our partner or group – the impossibility of holding back when this would then allow another to be less was a very strong pull up.
What a joy it is to sing with others and feel a unity and no separation – a far cry from school choir and school musical days Rachel.
I was very lucky in that I had a grandfather who was a very wobbly singer but he loved it and he would sing loud and proud especially at Sunday mass, he did not care and he did not hold back. We could see how much joy he got from singing and that has always stayed with me.
That’s awesome nicolesjardin. So cool to have an adult figure showing you it’s fun and more than OK to express regardless of how polished it was or wasn’t.
Thank you Rachel for sharing your experience with us, it brings a smile to my face feeling the joy you experience in finding your singing voice again.
There’s a sense of ‘awesome’ in Rachel enjoying her voice again that is clearly felt for sure Jill.
I agree Hannah this line really brings home that joy is where it’s at!
Insensitive criticism can so easily discourage a child’s natural joyful expression, thanks for telling your story of reclaiming yours Rachel.
Even quiet criticism can be equally as harmful; may there be a new radar developed and applied to how we perceive sound. I for one have started to tune the dials as to what is picked-up as enjoyable and not, but more importantly what is supportive to my evolution and what is not.
It is very heartwarming to know that our true expression never leaves us ch1956, I agree. When we are shown how to re-connect and encouraged to express ourselves without judgement, we often find it is has just been sitting there waiting to flourish. What a shame that we close down our expression in the first place and Rachel’s article emphasises to me just what a huge responsibility we have to our children to nurture and honour their entire expression. So much of what we curtail in ourselves and in others arises from beliefs and ideals that are not true. The work of Serge Benhayon and Chris James encourages us to expose and cleanse ourselves of these self imposed limitations and restore our full expression, often with the most un-expected and joyful results.
Rachel I can so relate to what you have shared because my experience with singing has been so similar. I felt crushed at school by a teacher in the same way and would mouth the words too. Later on if anyone asked me to sing in public or even clap in time I would be so tense and practically break out in a cold sweat. With the support of the amazing Chris James I have found my voice again – in fact at a recent workshop with him I was asked by the group I was with to sing a line solo… a number of years ago I would have run for the hills in tears, but I found that not only could I do it, but that I actually enjoyed it!!! My voice wasn’t out of tune, I wasn’t foolish, I was simply me with a rich tone!
I have always loved singing too Rachel, thank you for sharing the joy and childlike splendour that you have reconnected with.. and go for it.
I enjoy being silly with my voice but I never had any interest in singing. Even lately, I took lessons until I realised that I could sing should I wish to do so. Interestingly I lost all interest at that moment in pursuing singing any further. It is beautiful, though, to hear from more and more people that they are finding their voice.
But this is already awesome Christoph, as when you are given an opportunity to sing, you will not hold back and express in full. Getting to know that I can sing, also changed my way of speaking and my whole body posture. I do not sing on stage, but in the bathroom :). And of course on celebrations.
Thank you Rachel, this is very inspiring. I love to sing but recently I realise I have not been spontaneously singing so much. Your blog initiated my singing to myself and it’s great – loving it and wondered why I stopped!?!
Gorgeous to read Rachel. Your words at the end of the blog totally blow the concept of having a good pitch out of the water! “And whilst I may not have perfect pitch, I do have a quality when I sing that brings a joy to my heart and puts a smile on my face.” Isn’t the quality what it is all about, instead of how it sounds?
Rachel, I feel that your story represents so many people who’s lives have been altered in some way by a negative comment or even just a side ways look. As children we are vulnerable and fragile and so comments that perhaps aren’t even that forceful can have a huge impact. A boy telling a girl that she’s ugly or a girl telling a boy that he smells, all of these things have the potential to stay with people for their entire lives. Wonderful to hear how you have overcome past hindrances. The key is to seem the see the blocks with fresh eyes and to manually remove them from our lives.
To feel those natural sounds vibrate through your body is so magical. Yes so joyful. Never did I ever feel for one moment that a sound coming from me would create such inner joy. Yet to be in a room full of people joining in with their own unique sounds expressing in this way make such beautiful music together. Chris James and Glorious Music have inspired so many to feel for themselves this amazing gift we all have – such amazing healing comes from this too. Awesome sharing Rachel – no more holding back.
I always believed I couldn’t sing and reinforced this belief by the strangulated sounds I made attempting to sing through a self conscious tension in my throat. Over recent years I have attended many workshops with Chris James and have discovered my natural voice with singing from my whole body and now experience true joy with singing with a choir led by another student of the Way of the Livingness.
Love this rodharvey and agree, there is “fun to be sung” – and lots of it. I can hear you singing now!
To me we all have such beautiful voices Rachel, that not expressing it is keeping all others less by us not sharing that what we have on offer. How ridiculous life is actually, when we are judged as not being able to sing, and in a way they may be right as when we try to comply to the expectations of another we are not ourselves and express something that we are not. And if we do not comply to this expectations we are labeled as not being able to sing and take that for the rest of our lives as something of us.
Great point Nico “not expressing it is keeping all others less by us not sharing that what we have on offer.” It was feeling this that really started to release my voice again, and thank heavens it did.
It is such a blessing to me when I express with my true voice instead as it speaks and expresses clearly and freely what has to be expressed. While when I do not express in full and hold back on m myself my voice is muffled and hardly hearable, so even so that people tend to not hear me and have to ask me to repeat what I have said. Truly sad to experience though when I allow myself to feel the truth to that.
I am touched, reading your blog about your way and experience with your natural voice. It moved me to tears, how you have come back to the natural expression of a little child as I could feel the power and joy of it – and it moved me to tears to feel the exclusionary way in which society is judgemental with someones expression, that doesn’t fit in a completely limited belief of how a voice has to be. Restricted voices and ears are not able to vibrate or receive, as it is natural and always amazing. I also attended several courses with Chris James and was able to crack those beliefe systems and limits and was blessed to witness others, who did the same, to afterwards come to a deepness of expression, that is never to be reached, with a limited mind. I can not willingly perform a tone in the way it is able to unfold when it comes from the body. A beautiful joy to re-discover the true voice and to undergo the same with others and more than ever in a group.
Singing is such a joy for not only the person expressing it but also for others to hear also. I love the unique harmonious quality of hearing others voices and my own it allows for so much appreciation.
Yes Chan, I agree. And it is our joy that is far more evolutionary than perfection.
I have recently starting singing again finding my own voice and it has been amazing watching what comes up in my mind. “I am not good enough”, “my voice is a bit flat” etc etc. But I have chosen to park these thoughts and simply enjoy the sounds that come out of my mouth. The more I find that I find that I don’t hold back, the more depth and loveliness there is to the sounds. I’m loving the process of expressing in this way after all singing is part of our natural expression.
I was so inspired to read about how you have reclaimed your joy of singing Rachel. So many are judged and criticised when they are young, and sometimes it can be because a teacher is jealous. You have shown how it is never too late to recapture our true qualities and our joy for any activity. Chris James is a true teacher.
I’m with you Rachel singing is one of my favourite things. I remember as a 7 year old the joy of singing at school that somehow got lost along my life. I enjoy the fun, joy and laughter Chris James brings to our singing and also delight in Glorious Music too. True heartfelt expression – just as it was for you and me as chidren.
Well said Lee and Raymond, realising all the outer factors and hooks that keep us from appreciating and being present in the moment is a great step towards inner freedom and regain our natural way of being.
Thank you Rachel, what has really got me, from reading your blog, is the sensitivity of children, and how a child processes when something happens, that it can have such an impact on that child, that it initiates behaviour patterns that stay even when a child has ‘grown-up’ to being the adult… It exposes the possibility, that many adult behaviours patterns or reactions are a consequence of feeling hurt as a child, and for many, these patterns may become unconscious habits or characteristics traits of a person.
Well highlighted Johanne and Lee, and I can feel further back that many of the reactions and sensitivities I had as a child were from long running behaviour patterns from hurts I buried lives ago. Letting go of all the defence and shields and restrictions is utterly liberating and a gift through every part of life.
Very true Johanne, and it shows how in a careless disconnected moment we can do far more damage then we realise, especially if we express from these hurts. How important is it then to always, to the best of our ability, feel ourselves, our quality and be aware of the sensitivity of others.
I took part in Chris James’ workshop once and it was a completely different experience of singing from what I had done before. Feeling my voice reverberating in and out of my body was an unusual concept yet totally amazing. Reading how you used to make up tunes and words and sing, it just makes sense that it is only natural for us to let energy through and out as expression, and putting a lid on it is nothing but harming.
When I was at elementary school, my teacher used to do a singing test every now and then (no other classes were doing, it was just her thing) where we had to stand in front of all the classmate and sing, and be graded (judged). Everyone singing the same song, and there were about 40 of us. I remember how every single one of us hated it. It was just boring, humiliating and not fun at all.
My joy of expression over the years has been released through such music rowenakstewart; I am deeply appreciative to the singing voices and beats of Glorious Music and Sounds Wonderful too for bringing this music from heaven to earth for all of us to enjoy and heal.
I agree completely Rachel, my (childhood/school) singing voice has been restored through Glorious Music , and also through the changes I’ve made in my life that are less harsh or critical as a young adult, and more at-ease or accepting so that when I sing along to music now, i’m singing those qualities and my voice sounds rounder, deeper and just with more freeness.
Absolutely gorgeous how your expression has come forth Rachel. This has been my experience too – singing myself to sleep at night to being told I was flat; auditioning for the choir and not getting in for the same reason; only going to church so I could sing and however my voice sounded would be drowned out by everyone else; and yes the car was a great sounding box! And likewise, it has been through the support of Chris James, Universal Medicine and Glorious Music that I have freed my voice once again…and that is certainly something to joyfully celebrate!
Just wonderful that you have reconnected to such a key form of expression and that you’re now loving the power and grace of your own sound, your own vocal signature again.
Singing is so natural, even if we don’t meet the strict and narrow ideals for what a “good voice” is, its still good for us to just sing our hearts out.
True Meg. How many of us are changed forever by a single moment of hurt? It really does bring home our responsibility to be loving with each other – always, and, to love ourselves so much so that we are not knocked or shut down by hurtful moments such as these.
Universal Medicine has supported me to build this love for myself and to heal those moments of hurt that I held onto and then transformed my natural self into something else, and yes, also stopped singing around others.
Absolutely – it’s a huge responsibility, as we tend to carry hurts and live every moment affected by our hurts for our WHOLE life. And I would say every single person on this planet has been affected by a single moment of hurt. It definitely brings home how important being loving with each other really is, in fact it’s not just important, it’s vital for another person’s well-being.
Love hearing this Rachel, about how you’ve let go of any judgment on your voice, and instead appreciate the quality that is there. I’ve found the work and music of Chris James and Glorious Music deeply healing too.
This is gorgeous Rachel, and I agree alisonmoir. There are so many ‘rules’ associated with ‘singing’ and none of them support our connection or natural expression – but instead make ‘singing’ something separate to who we are, something to do and achieve.
Group singing such as with Chris James and Glorious Music is one of the most amazing experiences, a true treat in harmony, brotherhood, full expression—simply divine.
Totally Adele Leung, something happens when we group sing, it is so healing and restorative, and what I’ve noted is that whenever I do sing along with Chris James or Glorious Music, to being heard by others who are not judging what they hear, is very expansive and empowering. It also builds confidence in expression too. Singing as we feel, as opposed to singing to sound good/pitch perfect – complete opposite ends of the scale.
5 years ago i attended a Chris James workshop “The healing Power of Sound” , it was astonishing on so many levels, releasing years of constraints amassed within my voice and allowing myself to play with my natural expression, I felt freer, younger and more joyful in that space of 3 days than I had in 30years growing up! Indeed Rachel a smile from my heart.
The world has made singing to be about perfectionism, that if we do not have a perfect pitch or sound as we are stereotyped to be, then we are out of the game—how cruel and separative. Singing is a joyful experience when we express with our whole body in presence and it is the quality expressed without holding back that is truly beautiful.
That is a great point Adele, when singing is about perfectionism, which is forever impossible, no-body can measure up to the ideal. I agree that everyone has their natural quality to bring to singing.
“being in harmony with yourself naturally first, and then with all others singing with you brings a feeling of equality and unity in expression which is out of this world but resonates throughout your whole body as you sing together” Pure Joy Michael Chater, thank-you.
Seeking for perfection in expression is a choice to cap ourselves from our naturally gorgeous and powerful expression, as “Expression is Everything” (Serge Benhayon). We are naturally powerful in expressing ourselves, the depth of this power shines through with a commitment to let go of what stands in the way.
The depth of our voices reflect our willingness in life to always go deeper with ourselves and with others, the beauty in this quality can be unfamiliar and confronting to the world, yet Rachel it is naturally your expression and not holding that back is powerful and healing.
Rachel I am with you 100%, equally I have been inspired by Glorious Music and Chris James to release my voice from the old shackles and the joy that this ignites is certainly worth singing about!
Thank you Rachel, a very beautiful and healing sharing. I can very much relate to your story…I was declined a place in the school choir in Grade 5. After looking forward to it for many years, finally being able to ‘try out’ for the choir and share my voice with the world…and they rejected me. I was certain that they had made a mistake and in all my innocence I asked for a re-try just in case they hadn’t heard me properly. And again, rejected. I was so devastated and confused because I loved singing and I loved my voice. But from that day on I made a very clear decision that I would not let anyone hear me sing ever again because I must be really bad. So I mimed and mouthed words without ever uttering a sound for many many years. So crushing! Until I came across Universal Medicine and Chris James. Now it is a very different story. I have re-connected back to my natural sweet voice and love to sing at any opportunity. It’s interesting the experiences we have that seem to be designed to shut us down…and then in contrast, the magic of what UM presents that does the complete opposite – supporting us to open up to ALL that we are.
wow, reading your comment Doug and many more of those who have commented here, it’s amazing to see how may of us stifled our voices, our expression, our joy as a result of judgmental comments being made to us as kids. How many more people are put there like this who have muffled who they truly are because of a hurtful comment made to them… By virtue of being human we are enormously sensitive and that is something as a society we have yet to accept and fully embrace with all the responsibility that comes with it.
This jumped out for me too Meg about the responsibility we have to treat others, and ourselves, with the utmost care and respect as the delicate beings we all are on the inside. And with this came an appreciation for the energetic responsibility I am increasingly becoming aware of and living in my life since attending presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. If this understanding were to be applied in schools, we’d be encouraging and inspiring our children to nurture their natural voices and expression in full, and not hold back, rather than singling them out as a dud.
On a practical level, there might not be enough places for all students who apply to secure a position in the school choir, but by holding them with our energetic responsibility in love and equalness they are unlikely to left feeling so crushed.
Rachel, you write with the exquisite wisdom of a woman who has claimed herself in full AND with the joy and innocence of the little girl you once were as well. There is so much I felt in this gorgeous piece of writing so for now I’ll stick to one thing and share more in some other comments 🙂 I was reminded reading this of a similar experience of when i was little where my voice was ‘assessed’ and measured up against the voices of others. There was good, there was bad and mine was an unknown because of being bilingual and speaking some Greek words (it was a choir audition in Greece) with an English accent! The choir teacher was confused, he couldn’t grade me… I was ‘accepted’ into the choir but it was with an exit clause as well — ‘we’re not quite sure if you fit in’ was the vibe. As a little girl wanting to fit in, to be liked etc I took this on, I was in no-man’s land, with a voice that wasn’t really quite right. This didn’t just affect my relationship with my voice, it affected my relationship with myself and with how I would relate to people. I would see myself constantly as the no-man’s land person, not quite a ‘yes’, not a quite a ‘no’ — in essence, rejecting myself.
When I came across Chris James and what he has shared many times over, that everyone has a beautiful voice, I remembered the joy and innocence I had as a little girl and how much I would sing so sweetly knowing there was beauty in what I was expressing, because it came from the beauty I was feeling within. Now, even though I still haven’t got to a point where I’ll let myself sing openly and publicly in full (that will come though), I sing with all the joy in the world when I’m in the car listening to Glorious Music, which also so beautifully simply invites the listener to reconnect to their own voice, their own unique flavour of expression and let it be sung with joy.
Rachel Hall, I am so glad you write this, I am so glad that you are singing, I am so glad that you are feeling this way no and no longer hold back your beautiful voice. I personally know you and I have heard your voice more then once, it so beautiful to hear your strength, purity, clarity and absolute love and sweetness, that I am not surprised that you have a joy in your heart and smile on your face when you sing. This also puts all the pressure of us that we need to be something, have the perfect voice, tune dadada.. Very beautiful all you shared, I am with you on everything. Thank you for sharing.
I would rather hear an off key voice that was true than the sweet melody of lies any day.
Beautifully said Adam, me too!
I agree with you there Adam – sometimes those things that appear to be overly coloured, or overly sweet, whether it be a voice or a way of presenting oneself, could be just pandering to an the illusionary way of life, entangling one with untrue enticements through emotional responses and not necessarily representing the truth of Love at all.
I agree Adam – it is easy to fall for a voice that sounds harmonious and says or signs all the things we want to hear. Yet if it comes loaded with emotion or falsity, then what is it offering?
Great Story Rachel! Like you, singing was something I only ever did in the privacy of my car or room when I completed school. At school I sang in the chorus of musicals etc, but felt safe to do so, because I could mime and get away with it when I was worried people might hear me. When I think about it, I hardly ever sing anymore. It is definitely because of a belief that I can’t, and am too embarrassed to have others catch me doing it. But hearing the joy you have when you let a tune out…perhaps it’s another belief I should consider letting go of….
I want to listen to her on stage 😉
Its so lovely that I now feel comfortable and confident to sing in front of other people as I go about my work and day, I felt the joy and blessing you brought Samantha, singing in front of the other two Ladies, gorgeous 🙂
What a beautiful, sweet story you are sharing here. Thank you so much for sharing your way of showing your true voice and finding the joy back to simply “sing” you 🙂
I love the complete feeling of acceptance and appreciation you share Rachel, with exactly who you are and the beautifully quality you have.
Sandra you have hit the nail on the head, this blog is so much bigger than being just about singing, it’s about the absolute acceptance of who you are, and being able to share that unreservedly.
It is obvious reading your blog that you are enjoying your singing Rachel! Singing has never appealed to me but since attending a Chris James workshop I have found myself singing more often. What I particularly noticed was how I would previously try to sing by forcing the sound out. It made such a difference when I just allowed the sound out at its own natural volume and rate. I’m a long way from going public with my singing but I am starting to enjoy it.
We are super sensitive as children and adults, to any from of criticism from others, in particularly in the expression of singing and playing music, it seems we are easily crushed by others inability to feel their own joy, and become jealous of other peoples, thank you Rachel for sharing your beautiful experience.
So lovely to imagine you joy-fully singing in your daily activity’s again, as you did as a child Rachel, it feels so natural and confirming to allow ourselves to sing and allow and appreciate the wonder-full glorious beings we all are, and not to hide our expression of singing.
I can relate Rachael, I used to and at times still think I can’t sing because I have kept a tight hold of a few things that were said to me as a child, and as an adult when I sang. It is a shame that we let a comment here or there stop us from singing and the joy that is felt when we let it all out and not make it about the sound but about the expression.
A beautiful example of how the naturally glorious voice we are born with never leaves us; it just gets buried under the mountain of self doubt that those around us help to create by their reactions. How wonderful that you have re-discovered this voice Rachel and are now revealing in its gloriousness once again.
What a gorgeous reunion to the uninhibited way of simply being as we are as little kids, this is absolutely worth celebrating Rachel thank you for going there.
How beautiful Rachel. I relate very much to the joy that is felt when singing (and talking!) comes from the connection with my heart and body. It’s like my whole body is responding and I can feel it in every cell. I find myself allowing more and more to be with me while singing or talking. And the difference is so profound. There’s still some hurt in the way to give myself permission to always be with me while expressing. Thank you.
Hi Rachel, I had a similar experience that I could not sing. I was muted twice to not sing with the choir in the primary school and it took over 30 years to reconnect to my voice again when singing. I will never be a music star on stage, but I love my voice and how it feels in my body when I tone and sing. It took a few years and a few workshops with Chris James to let my singing voice come out again. I love the Glorious Music, especially live on stage. I don’t hold back singing and dancing, as I know that no one will mute me but encourage exploring my natural voice.
Spot on to your wording here Sonja. We mute. And all because there is this alleged perfect pitch we do not hit, or we do not fit in a special picture. How often I ask myself do we get on mute in life because we may not reach the ‘right tone’? And what happen with all the energy which seek to be expressed but get on mute? I feel like a pot which gets fuller and fuller with un-expressed feelings and impulses…till it overflow and out comes then a mix out of all this holding back transformed into frustration, sadness, rage, or what ever. But it is not longer my natural, genuine expression. This, falsified expression is then the way I meet others and connect with people. And then I am wondering why we’ve got communication problems or why I am not understood…Lovely to know and to see how much imprint our true expression has and not just worth to claim it back, but our responsibility if we want true relationships.
Time to un-mute : )
Oh wow, this is absolutely beautiful and also brought a tear to my eye as I read about you letting your expression out again. What I can feel is how deeply healing it is to be around you, knowing that you are expressing the depth and beauty of who you truly are as it inspires all of us to allow this for ourselves. This is the way that people are made to be reflections and absolute, steady support for each other, through self-acceptance and expression and with this a letting go of the old hurts that have stopped us from being our truest selves for far too long. Thanks Rachel.
And that’s all that matters Rachel. There’s nothing more glorious than singing with our hearts, regardless of how it sounds because as it brings Joy to YOUR heart and a smile to YOUR face, it does this for others too. We’ve lost the true art of music with the focus on the technicalities, because as we let our selves just be and express all that is needed is there. WE just have to give ourselves permission to let go!
Love it Rachel, I can feel your joy and the freedom you now have to express you in your way. Celebration plus!
Chris James has an extraordinary talent in supporting people to deeply feel their bodies and reconnect to the beauty within and then express that through their voice. The strength and beauty that people then sing with is just divine, showing us what we can choose in our expression at any moment. It is truly gorgeous that this allowed you to be reminded of the joy you feel when singing and now choose to no longer hold it back from yourself or the world.
I remember Chris James saying that ” everyone is born with a beautiful voice”. How wonderful to have reconnected to your natural voice with the rekindled joy of singing again Rachel.
Yes indeed Rachel, singing is not just about giving pleasure to others, as that is subjective, it is about expressing something of and for ourselves. That is most likely why it can feel so incredibly vulnerable when we sing, because it can come from our absolute essence. Of course, like anything, it can be a talent which we then hone to be ‘perfect pitch’ and a whole load of other things that make it more, or less palatable to the ear, but I reckon if you ask anyone who sings they will agree that there are two spaces this singing can come from. One is free, expansive, you don’t question how it might be received because it makes your whole heart sing, the other is more considered, it wants to illicit engagement and a response from the listener, it needs more feedback – it is much more likely to be the chart topper and the success, although not always, but something about it feels different to sing and to hear. Everyone is capable of both but I am not sure we are educated in music to feel it, to listen to those differences in our bodies rather than just hear it from our ears and that feels important in music education so you are not constrained in your expression just because you need someone else to say they like it.
This blog resonates with me so much. I have always loved singing, apart from when there are other people in the room. And through holding back my voice for so long I thought that I simply couldn’t sing very well and felt my voice to be very flat and weak. But recently I went to my first Chris James event and found that the beautiful voice was there all along, I had just contained it for all that time. And it was such a relief and a blessing to be able to sing to my heart’s content and let go of so many layers of fear of expressing, and feel the expansion within my body, as well as the tightness that had been caused from holding back for so long.
Rachel, I just love this, and can feel the joy of you singing again, and allowing the world to hear and feel that. I’ve been learning to sing all over again through attending group sings with Chris James and it’s been a revelation to sing without effort or push or any need to be recognised, but together in a group with each voice adding to the whole has been such a joy, and so natural and such fun – will definitely do more.
I had a similar experience at a Chris James workshop, Rachel, where I could feel how much I had held onto a negative image of my voice since childhood, but it all came flowing out with the guidance and allowing that Chris James provides in his workshops. The cool thing is that accepting our true voice and what it sounds like tends to translate into many other areas of expression, and I have felt this regarding how I speak to others and now I don’t hold back how I feel about things like I had in the past. I realised that I was actually holding everyone back by doing this because what we all have to share with each other is always valuable and a potential learning/growing opportunity.
It’s sad that a harsh comments can crush us and stop us from being all that we can be. I am looking forward to hearing you on stage, Rachel as I feel that your expression in your singing will be quite special now that you no longer need to hide it.
I love this blog Rachel – For years I held back on singing because of being told my voice was too deep to sing with the girls and I this felt something to be ashamed of rather than celebrate. It feels so playful to simply sing away making up songs in the shower, in the car and sometimes when walking, never being concerned about it being on the ‘correct note’ as when singing in a group.
Chris James is a great liberator of the prison we lock ourselves into, delivering his sessions with joy and laughter and tenderness too.
Your description from your coming back to sing brought tiers in my eyes too. How lovely when we come back to something we loved but gave up sadly. I myself made experiences with Chris James as well and have to say: this man is incredible. Brilliant! I also loved to sing when I was young and my family told my that I better do not so out of the safety of our house…. The hurt was deep and the doubt as guaranteed. With the light and humorous support from Chris James I not just claimed back my childhood joy in singing, I discovered my true, beautiful voice and authority in expression. I have something to say. And I have something to sing. I will never ever go back into my cave and hold back again. Ha!
We are so used to holding back and shrinking away from feeling full of joy and expressing it with every step we take in our childhood, that by the time we are adults we simply accept this limited version of us and live that way. So to reclaim your voice and not let the hurts that once drowned it stand in your way but heal them and let go of them is very extraordinary.
It is so lovely to read you are no longer hiding your natural voice Rachel and everyone benefits!
The joy you have felt from reconnecting to and expressing your natural voice, comes through in your writing. Thanks Rachel for your sharing.
I can very well relate to what you share Rachel. As a small boy I shut away my natural voice and freedom of expression and from then on only shared what I felt safe. It took a rediscovery of loving myself inspired by Universal medicine and a Retreat with Chris James to let out the full me again. What an incredible relief and joy this has meant.
Beautiful blog thank you for sharing Rachel. I always loved singing. I have not made negative experience in my childhood, but had little self confident so I hold back in general my expression speaking what I feel and singing in my fullness. Thanks to a Chris James Retreat 5 years ago I discovered my powerful voice and ever since I have grown and expanded expressing and it has enriched my live. Yesterday at work (In a clinic for people with burn out and depression) I caught myself singing in the toilet (one of my favorite places great echo) and then coming into the cafe and singing.
This is so great Rachel, singing is a very important part of expression and holding back can’t have been doing you much good. How superb it must feel to be expressing with your voice in full again as you once did.
Your blog so beautifully sums up how most of us probably relate to singing and sharing their voice with everyone. It is so common to hear children sing and dance and just play so effortlessly and yet how many of us share this same innocence and joy as adults? It shows how such a small innocent or event when young can put us off for life yet our voice, powerful and strong as it is, is always there with us.
Ah Rachel, your blog brings back memories of auditions for school choir where we had to sing a note played on the piano. I did get into the choir and loved the singing, especially when we were taught harmonies, but I never got to sing solo. I guess I could tune in with other voices, but couldn’t hold a tune by myself. We were often told we were singing in the cracks of the piano and after leaving school being in a relationship with a musician for 41 years didn’t help, because I was always afraid of ‘hurting’ his ears by singing out of tune. Like you, I have been inspired by the workshops with Chris James and began to realise that I could sing in tune and not only that, could pitch harmonies. Hearing Miranda Benhayon’s voice in the Glorious Music means I can once again tune in to a female voice and sing along. The solo performance is still along way off but one day . . . yes, let’s celebrate our voices and feel the joy of singing once more.
I have also been singing with Chris James and have done many of his workshops and this has supported me not only to re-connect with my voice and enjoy singing, but with my overall expression. I have been hiding my voice as well for a long time and it feels very liberating to sing in full and to share my voice with the world.
Rachel, this was gorgeous to read. Our angel never stops singing, and while we may press ‘mute’, the song within still sounds and strikes a chord deep within our hearts, forever calling us home to the heaven that never left. To give ourselves permission to sound this song once more, so that others can hear, is pure joy. This I can feel in the every word that you write, thankyou.
Those looks and snarky comments about our voices, can crush a child who is simply enjoy how their voice feels. Sounding ‘right’ replaces feeling right and so we don’t get to practise the two together…and the world is less melodic because of it.
As Chris James is always saying, everybody has a beautiful voice and it is so true. Since I started singing again, I love it. It is so much joy to sing beautiful songs and to hear my own voice, even if it doesn’t sound always beautiful. It is now part of my expression – expression of me and my joy.
I can so relate to your story Rachel, I had a similar experience at school with the choir. I absolutely loved singing until a teacher told me I was allowed to be a member of the choir as long as I mimed the songs. It devastated me and I stopped singing all together or if I did sing I would purposely sing out of tune.
With the support of Glorious Music and Chris James I am again loving singing. I can feel how it supports me to connect to my heart as well as my whole body and gives expression to the joy I feel .
I got this sense when I was reading your first two lines of your blog Rachel, that we all hide ourselves away and the fear of being heard or seen or felt or really truly appreciated for emanating the true beauty that we also are. What a joyful amazing way to have the real you back in the world.
Thank you Rachel . what you have shared is ‘so beautiful that you are free to sing again’.
When we come to that realization that we are ‘more’ then our hurts from people saying we are less and that feeling of joy how Super Amazing we truly are.
My most recent tear flow was me coming to the realization that I have held myself back for at least 35 year because of what others have said to me.
Absolutely gorgeous Rachel, thank you for sharing! It is incredible how insensitive the world is engineered to currently be to crush all natural and joyful expressions, rather than supporting their growth. Thankfully there is one organisation that completely confirms who you are, and let’s you be all that you are in full support of your expression. Bring on the Joy, I could feel it in your writing!
Rachel I’m so glad you’ve reclaimed your joy in singing despite those early experiences where you voice was not appreciated by some. I too have found that in Chris James workshops and presentations somehow my voice sounds beautiful in the group setting. I even enjoy my voice when I sing around the house too, a real change as I flatly refused to sing for years.
Your childhood experience really touched me. What I could relate to was being crushed for the natural beautiful little girl you were. Then through your hurts locking away one of your true joys because no-one appreciated your gift. How awesome are you to find your voice again and express your true love.
Ah the power and beauty of freeing our natural voice! It is a full body experience when Chris James gently coaxes us to open to the feeling of sound in our body and what it is like when it comes out through out mouths! Thank goodness you found your voice again Rachel, and you are able to joyfully sing away whenever and wherever you feel to – it just brings another beautiful quality to your expression and the joy of not holding anything back. I’m going to stand next to you next time there’s a sing on!
It is so cool to read about the way your relationship with your voice has changed Rachel, particularly when you describe singing along to music blasting in the past. I could really relate to that – in fact I would ensure the music was so loud I couldn’t hear my own voice as it sounded terrible.
All of that changed when I met Chris James and discovered that I actually have a beautiful voice when I sing from my heart. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to appreciate the joy that singing now brings in my life.
That quality is perfect Rachel. It is your quality, and always beautiful to behold.
Gorgeous singing dentist, thank you for sharing what the allowing out of your natural voice and expression has brought you and others.
To feel the joy returning to you Rachel because you allowed yourself to sing as you have always wanted to was beautiful to read. The way you have described your voice was amazing.
Your experience at school Rachel brought back memories of my own musical experience, playing the drums and not being picked for a musical event left me feeling crushed as a child. It made me consider how important it is that we provide encouragement for children and yet don’t put any expectation on them having to be great at something. It would seem far better for a choir to have everyone involved and enjoying the experience than only an elite few to create a so called ” better” sound. Much like sports teams that only pick the best at a young age, when including everyone and valuing everyone just makes so much more common sense for the development of confident children who become adults who can appreciate themselves as they should and also learn to work with others and not get carried away by the constant judgement we create. Judgement that runs so deep that we now assess our ability to bake in competitions on TV!!
Rachel, I love how you have shared how you stopped singing when you were young, because of the comments and treatment by teachers regarding your voice not fitting the mould that they wanted. I feel that very many people would share similar stories that resulted in them losing that great enjoyment they originally had from singing joyfully from their hearts when they were young. It is so sad that this happened to so many people early in their lives. I cannot remember why I stopped singing, but feel it was when I was very young, and shut myself down in many ways, to the point that I have little memory of myself when I was young. It is wonderful that you now can enjoy yourself so fully, being able to sing whenever you feel to, and whatever else you may be doing. I love this “Now I find myself singing when I walk the dog, on my way to work, and even around the office and the supermarket, no different to when I was that young girl, all full of joy and expression that I simply had to let it out.” Really beautiful.
I love your honesty Rachel. I loved singing ever since I was little. In high school at my end of year exam I received a really low grade for my singing solo and I was absolutely devastated. So I let this low mark be the measure for what other people perceived to be a great sounding voice and I stopped singing for many years. I now love the sound and quality of my voice and enjoy singing all the time. We all have a beautiful unique quality to our voices and when we sing in groups it sounds heavenly.
I can completely relate Rachel to shutting my voice down and especially in front of others. Through the support of Chris James and Victoria Carter I learned to trust and feel safe to sing and express through sound – something I have not felt this life until these supports came along.
Gorgeous Rachel, I too loved singing, but never did as I did not have the perfect voice. I have a very strong feeling for music and played instruments for years till I was a teenager and knew exactly how the tune has to sound and as I was not sure of getting it right I just didn’t sing. Today I understand music totally different and learned the difference in energy and quality that is delivered by music and I always sing along without holding back. I also value now what my voice brings add the joy of just singing – although not necessarily into a mic. 😉 Through Glorious music I learned what true music is and how I connect to it and express with my true voice.
thats great to hear that you natural love of singing and vocal expression he’s returned Rachel! I know myself I was so scared of singing because of all the comments that you receive when you grow up like “you can’t sing’ and “stick to your day job”. The work of Chris James and Glorious Music is truly amazing and has helped so many re-ignite their natural voices again, to sing and express with power from their body and to express free of doubt and reservation. yeehah!
I so enjoyed reading your inspirational blog Rachel, expresssing how you have once again re-connected with the joy of singing as you did when small. I found also, that joining in with the groups with Chris James inviting us to so do was wonderfully freeing, though I must admit I do not express through singing very much apart from when I am travelling in my car – alone. Now I wonder why that is – something to reveal perhaps by your reflection. Thank you.
How insensitive some people are with children, not understanding how their little hearts are bruised so easily and the result as you experienced Rachel, can last for half someone’s life! It is lovely to hear you have taken up singing again and feeling the joy that it brings you! Thanks to people like the amazing Chris James who encourage us all to share our own individual voice and sound. Thank you Rachel for sharing your journey.
I find that singing is such a joyful, carefree expression that one has to wonder what is really going on when we try to stop someone from expressing this.
Your experience as a child here shows what responsibility we carry as adults to nurture our youngsters. That by criticising children incorrectly we can crush them, that there is a way to communicate with them that does not leave them feeling inadequate.
I agree absolutely Michelle, firstly we need to confirm and appreciate our children for the amazing beautiful beings they are simply by being themselves, not reward and praise them only for what they do and achieve, or they quickly learn to leave the connection with themselves behind and make life all about being acknowledged for their achievements.
Someone close to me once said to me that I couldn´t sing…It crushed me totally and indeed it wasn´t true so to speak. It took me years and a participation years later at a tv show for singers to proof to myself that I could sing. It always held me back until the point I trusted in my own voice again…
Rachel the timing of your blog is perfect as just this week I have opened up and let go at a Chris James Big Sing and observed children doing the same at a workshop. To connect to a quality within, such as gentleness and allow that to be expressed through the voice is truly wonderful. Thank you for your ongoing expansion and expression and for reminding us of the power and joy of singing.
Rachel, what this highlighted here to me is that we don’t have to be experts or professionals in what we do (a measure which is often imposed from outside of ourselves or which we think we should live up to), but that what’s important is the quality in which we do whatever it is we are doing… this quality comes from within, and it is definitely worth celebrating!
Love this Angela. We have been conditioned to focus on results, achievements and outputs but not on the quality of whatever it is we are doing or expressing. As Adam expresses in another comment below, I would much rather hear a voice out of tune that’s filled with true joy and love than a perfect pitch voice of someone who is completely disconnected from who they truly are.
Rachel, how lovely to read this! I really resonated with, “It had a delicate quality combined with a power and strength that was so exquisite it moved me to tears – tears of joy and relief for all that I had held back –being allowed to express again as I did so naturally when I was a little girl.” I have also felt these tears of Joy, my heart so open that I too found my beautiful expression in song again. I love the way Chris James presents that EVERYONE is born with a beautiful Voice – absolutely Everyone! It’s precious to feel this expression within me and now I appreciate it so much more and don’t hold back. My voice / sound is very healing for me when I connect to it – my whole body gets it!