How Amazing it Feels to Be Myself

by Rebekah Muntelwit, Administration/Designer, Mackay, QLD

Almost three years ago I came across Universal Medicine through another family member. I am so grateful to have found it. On the outside, anyone who met me would have thought I had everything going for me: great big family, big group of friends, great grades, fit and healthy… right? On the inside I always questioned myself as to why I always felt there was something missing.

I tried to fill this by many things – one was by being liked. I would try to achieve this by being everyone’s friend and never saying anything that would create any sort of tension between people. By doing this I found that I didn’t know who I was – I was a different person depending on who I was hanging out with at the time. It was exhausting as I was putting on an act for so long without realising that I was getting further and further away from the truth of who I am. This was because I was being liked only by being what everyone outside of me wanted or needed me to be. This is why I always felt there was something really big missing in my life… ME.

At this time I was in my last year of school. I joined every extra curriculum activity that I could: musicals, triathlons, mathematics competitions… because I felt I wasn’t good at anything. So if I was average at a lot of things, maybe then I’d be happy with myself. This worked for a little while; I made all different kinds of friends. But it wasn’t enough because there was such a lack of worth in myself – I didn’t feel happy or confident in myself to step out and be myself.

After going to my first Universal Medicine presentation I thought ‘wow’! Everything that was spoken of was just, well, common sense… BUT it got me questioning why these things that they spoke of were never talked about: things that I always wondered about and had no choice but to accept there were no answers for my questions. I felt everything that was spoken on was truth: it was so refreshing to hear.

This is when I realised what was missing in my life. It wasn’t friends, or boyfriends, good grades, or a religion – I had simply stopped being myself. It was crazy how simple it really was, and I was excited and almost revived that I could be myself again – and be confident in being that. It really opened my eyes as to what was going on within me… I realised I never ever put myself first. I focused on other people’s issues or problems so that I couldn’t feel what was actually going on within me.

We often use the phrase ‘just be yourself’, but do we really know the meaning of that? When did we stop being ourselves that we needed to be reminded? For me, being yourself meant only being the part of you that others will like… don’t show them all of you as they might not like it. I could see it in the girls I went to school with, see how they interacted with different people and often they would be acting different than they did with you. I saw this in my best friend (because I never looked at what I was doing – I only saw it in others) – that she was more herself when it was just me and her, but it front of anyone else I could see her change. I always thought it was strange: why would she want to change who she was just because she’s talking to someone different? And then I realised that I wasn’t the only one trying to be liked. She too had this same lack of self-worth. We reflected this to each other but neither of us saw it – until now.

So what ended up happening was me having multiple personalities because I held back different things from different people.

After spending some time with people who attended Universal Medicine presentations and seeing some esoteric practitioners for sessions, I noticed a lot of similarities. They were confident, supportive and loving; they were lovely to be around and I wanted to know how I could learn to be more of myself with others, like they were.

So I began to make a few changes in my life… slowly. I started to drop the guard I held – which for me was not speaking up, because someone may not want to hear what I had to say. I started feeling my body more as to how I should treat myself. The more I cared for myself, the more I started enjoying the little things I could do for myself, like preparing loving meals or resting when I needed to rest: my eyes were more open to seeing what I still held that was really not me and something that had become a habit. I became conscious of the fact that it was as simple as making loving choices for myself each minute…. and that it is continually making these choices that has been feeling great.

It’s hard for me to think of all the amazing things that have changed in my life, but today I enjoy every day. I have the most amazing family who now actually talk about real things and support one another: it started with us all taking steps to look after ourselves and this made us more aware of each other and the support we could give to each other in this development. We began having a family meal together… this was something we stopped years ago as everyone just did their own thing of an evening. This had given us all a chance to talk about our day – have the support if the day wasn’t pleasant, and have discussions about things that were happening in our lives.

I am now more aware of what it means to just be ‘myself’, and I find that I am now more confident in myself and in my relationships with others. I am aware of how in the past many of my relationships were based on trying to impress and fit in: this way of relating no longer fits for me. I am aware that what I was missing almost three years ago was me being me. Now, every day is expanding to be more loving than the day before.

421 thoughts on “How Amazing it Feels to Be Myself

  1. “This is why I always felt there was something really big missing in my life… ME.” I remember how I used to say that I left myself out of the picture – same thing. I was so concerned that everyone got what they wanted or needed, that I would get tired or get headaches because I was setting myself an impossible task, one that was not my responsibility. In fact I was taking other’s responsibility from them and in truth I was feeling frustrated. This all seems so convoluted and crazy now. I can still get caught out though and not attend to my own needs by putting others before me forgetting that we are all equal, however attending Universal Medicine presentations has supported me to take more responsibility for myself and care for myself and love myself so that I rarely see myself as less than, or more than but truly equal to everyone.

  2. “I realised what was missing in my life. It wasn’t friends, or boyfriends, good grades, or a religion – I had simply stopped being myself.” We chase after so much, career, having kids, holidays, money, friends, materials things and each one provides a temporary relief or a short-lived happiness, however there is no true and sustainable joy in life unless we have ourselves.

  3. Rebekah, I too have found that just being ‘myself’ makes life so much more fun and joyful and eliminates the unnecessary complications of trying to be what I thought the world wanted me to be. Thank you for sharing your story,

  4. There is an opening up to the fact that life is about more than the mundane- that it is not about entertainment, just turning up to work, having a family- but that there is a lot more there for us when we connect with our essence.

  5. Not knowing who we are in the first place, to be oneself beckons much confusion, like, which version of me? I used to think that to know and be myself I had to solidify my identification, like what I do, what I look like, my personality etc. etc. but what I am discovering more and more, is that it is in letting go of all of these things I reconnect with who I am in essence. It’s such a liberating feeling.

  6. What a beautiful sharing and journey to expressing yourself from your truth so inspiring and true for us all. Surrendering to who we are naturally so freeing so joyful and so real and what we all want inside .

  7. You can feel how we create a momentum and complicate life all to not feel what we are missing and in doing this the gap with ourselves becomes bigger.

  8. Fitting in with others really doesn’t work but we learn from an early age that people leave us alone if we play ball and go a long with what everyone else is saying or doing even when it doesn’t feel true. The more we stay true to ourselves the easier it becomes, until it becomes a natural way of being regardless of who we are with. This is where having family meals together is a great place to start and with the right support we can learn to have discussions, be open and honest and not worried or fearful if what is said might make waves or be uncomfortable.

  9. Thank you Rebekah, people the world over search for that illusive thing to fill the emptiness, everything from adrenaline sports to enlightenment, family life and romantic relationships, career….etc, etc! And, all along the thing that brings us complete fulfilment and contentment is living ourselves in full. It’s right there within ourselves, not in the outer life. Having experienced the same thing you speak about, the joy of coming home to oneself, I can now fully appreciate the depth of wisdom in the simple advice to “just be yourself”.

  10. The interesting thing is that nobody I have ever asked has said that they would want to be anyone else. What we all do want though is to be more able to be ourselves in full everywhere we go

  11. Feeling and being our self is ultimately what we are seeking and yet we tend to try ‘fitting in’ first and go through all that pain and trauma before we come back to being ourselves again and for some this is realised earlier than others.

  12. It seems to me that the majority of the world is not actually living who they truly are and as a result are feeling an inexplicable emptiness inside them; the emptiness of missing them. It doesn’t matter how much we do, how much we eat or drink and how many games we play this emptiness will only be filled by re-connecting to our true essence; and that, I know, feels amazing.

  13. We do use the phrase “Just be yourself,” so very often and yet it is in the actions or the doing to be someone or to be recognised for what we do to be what we think is us that takes us away from “being who we truly are.” So to look at the phrase again and say ” just be yourself,” would mean to honour ourselves from our being-ness and not from what we do as it is the quality of the being that then expresses who we are in essence, this feels like a much more simple approach to how we live and move today.

  14. I am finding that this discovery of being me versus living to be liked, has many layers and details in how it plays out. It’s not something you get, complete and move on from. It’s a constant redevelopment back to being me in life.

  15. It’s interesting to watch people change who they are when they are with different people like a chameleon, and I was once like that too, until I found Universal Medicine who have helped me live a life true to myself, where I am self confident and am able to stay true to myself no matter who I’m with.

  16. Developing our relationship with self is an ever evolving process, and the more we commit to it the more we know we are all knowing beings and have within us all the capabilities to meet life in it’s fullness.

  17. How many people in the world are feeling exactly how you had once felt, ‘there was something missing’?

    I too was feeling the same, the only difference, I was more angry in the way I went about with this missing link. It literally was my way or the high way!…..

    Over the few years, with attending Universal Medicine presentations, receiving esoteric healing, I too found the real me emerging more and more, it is still working progress but boy has that anger guard crumbled.

    I liked how you and your family began having family meals together and being there to truely support each other is an amazing turn around for you all.

  18. Looking back at how I used to be around others compared to how (and who) I am now. I feel so much steadier as I am no longer acting to a role, trying to be accepted based on my skills. I am more confident and settled in myself, supportive and attentive while remaining unsympathetic and strong in what I feel without wanting the other to be perfect for me. The real me is an awesome being to be with.

  19. Any presentation that offers a young woman a path for being herself, for making her own choices, for not giving up herself to match in with her peers is an organisation I would be interested in. Such an organisation is Universal Medicine.

  20. I can feel the celebration of your being you and the spaciousness and joy this brings. I love that I am also opening more and feeling the joy of living with me and how that inspires connection with others, life becomes richer and fuller and a sense of purpose emerges and a responsibility. It is like growing up all over again.

  21. ‘We often use the phrase ‘just be yourself’, but do we really know the meaning of that?’ A great question to be asking Rebekah, in the past I also used to be all things to all people and ended up feeling exhausted, always trying to fit in and be liked. Letting go of this old pattern was an empowering step in my life and I began for the first time in my life to have a loving relationship with myself which supported me to bring this love and deeper quality into all my relationships – some embrace it and some turn away from what is on offer, either way I am no longer attached to their choices which has been very healing in itself.

  22. Beautiful Rebekah. We are always going to feel that we are missing something when we are not being ourselves in full.

    1. Yes which places demand on everyone and everything else to deliver something to us. In other words we end up living a life in constant neediness which is a very desperate and miserable way to live.

      1. That’s exactly it Thomas, living in a “constant neediness which is a very desperate and miserable way to live.” All that is missing is the simplicity of being ourselves.

  23. “After going to my first Universal Medicine presentation I thought ‘wow’” And the ‘Wow!’ just keeps expanding as I rediscover The Way of The Livingness in the way I choose to live.

  24. This feeling is the one that many search for in the bottom of a glass or the perceptive depths of a TV screen.

  25. There are various ways to avoid being who you truly are. One is to be chameleonic and always appear as positive. Another one is to make sure you are known by a negative feature. We know how to play this game. Yet, we have to be aware what is the game we are playing with and with whom. It is about not avoiding being who you are, assuming responsibility for this and stepping into your power and realising the main one being tricked is yourself; not others.

  26. “We often use the phrase ‘just be yourself’, but do we really know the meaning of that?” yes Rebekah, and we have numerous pictures of what ‘just be yourself’ looks like or should look like or looks like for someone else. My greatest teacher or supportive friend that has helped me to truly see who I am, has been my body…. it never lies…and also, Serge Benhayon and many other amazing practitioners and friends.

  27. Recently I have become aware of how I go along with things in my every day and have started to call it out. I realised the harm I was doing to myself and then decided to have a session with an Esoteric practitioner. They told me it came from wanting to be nice and good. I found it interesting. I knew I lived with a need to fit in and being nice and good supported me in this false way of being but what I found interesting was that I got accused often of having everything my own way and because of the many accusations, over time I felt bad! The most important thing I am learning in all this is what is true for me so working with the connection to self and developing stillness in my day is vital.

  28. Thank you Rebecca for sharing you being you, this is what we all crave, no trying to be something we are not, or living up to an ideal but us just being us and nurturing our being by our loving choices.

  29. “This is why I always felt there was something really big missing in my life… ME.” If only we realised this when we were young that we don’t need to loose ourselves when we go out into the world and try and fit in, becoming so much less than our natural amazing selves. When we do things to be recognised or liked and behaving differently with different people trying hard to be something we are not, it is not only exhausting but life starts to become more complicated as we try to fit into all the different personalities we have created.

  30. Awesome read Rebecca. It really is the simplest thing – to be yourself.
    You know those times when you are just brutally honest and real – it is like there is a build up and you just burst out being yourself! It actually feels really great to speak up and release what you know is true. As Rebecca has claimed it is about respecting you, and just how sensitive you are to everything that is not love, and being decent and loving with yourself first and foremost. Everything else is living a lie.

  31. OMG Rebekah, I was also absolutely masterful at this: “I focused on other people’s issues or problems so that I couldn’t feel what was actually going on within me.”
    There I would be, one of the last at any party, oftentimes ‘counselling’ someone who was too drunk to remember in the morning (or, hang on, it WAS usually morning by then…).
    How lost I had let myself become – feeling such intensity in relationship with the world and the way it seemed to be run, and how people could be with each other… that I also gave away many parts of myself in order to be liked, accepted, to hide… and lost the pure and absolute Joy of simply being me.
    Not that I felt completely ‘lost’ my whole life prior to coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – there were many joys, and much awareness – but it was truly not until this point either, that I met a reflection who said from every cell in his body, ‘just be you’ – and don’t hold back from reclaiming you in full. And I got to feel and begin to heal, the massively contracted state I had been essentially existing in.
    In truth, I’ve never looked back since.
    Thanks for this great blog – loved reading every drop of wisdom you’ve shared here Rebekah.

    1. Exactly what I have felt as well Victoria but haven’t put into words, “Not that I felt completely ‘lost’ my whole life prior to coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – there were many joys, and much awareness – but it was truly not until this point either, that I met a reflection who said from every cell in his body, ‘just be you’ – and don’t hold back from reclaiming you in full.” And also realising that we are already everything… it’s just letting go of the contraction as you say which is simply all the times we haven’t been, lived and expressed our selves in full.

      1. And accepting that the ‘fullness’ and Joy can actually be one’s consistent experience in life – the ‘ups and downs’ that were once accepted as ‘par for the course’ need not be our ‘normal’.

  32. Feeling more of ourselves really is quite simple. It takes a bit of commitment to make more loving choices, and commit to being consciously present in each moment, but it leads to a greater sense of solidity and trust with ourselves.

  33. The more I become me, the more I understand life and all that it entails. Life becomes more about love, as becoming me is becoming love and making my every move from love. Becoming me is stepping outside the illusion that people need to like me in order for me to like me. I love that the more I become me the more true friends I have. It’s a great confirmation that how I was living and the fear I was having about people not liking me was a total illusion.

  34. “I tried to fill this by many things – one was by being liked. I would try to achieve this by being everyone’s friend and never saying anything that would create any sort of tension between people.” This seems so innocent but it’s amazing how detrimental this is for us, to hold back our expression of who we are in truth, to be liked by others.

  35. When we have lost who we are it is hard to offer this to another in full. Coming back to ourselves, appreciating the incredible light within allows us to have no fear of not being liked, for the light that glows within becomes the beacon we move by, and no longer do we move by another’s perception of us, or in most cases what we perceive another’s perception of us is.

  36. It is extra exhausting when we unnecessarily put our fingers in too many pies in the vain attempt to prove ourselves and our worth.

  37. I can relate to the chameleon routine and just how exhausting it gets trying to be different with different people. Get them in the same room and its impossible! Coming to Universal Medicine and realising that not many of us are being ourselves is like a breath of fresh air. All the issues we think we have all stem back to this. And the answers are just as easy – be love and be the truth of who you are, in full.

  38. Wonderful to read of your blossoming back to who you truly are through your connection to Universal Medicine. You are a great example for other young people to follow .

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s